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1
00:00:07,574 --> 00:00:08,666
(LAUGHING)
2
00:00:08,742 --> 00:00:10,972
Now that's what I call
a bang-up job, baby!
3
00:00:11,044 --> 00:00:13,274
That's what I call
an explosive situation.
4
00:00:13,346 --> 00:00:14,438
Hey, what the hell
are we doing
5
00:00:14,514 --> 00:00:16,038
sneaking into
a deserted temple, anyway?
6
00:00:16,116 --> 00:00:17,481
We're spies,
not archaeologists.
7
00:00:17,550 --> 00:00:18,676
Orders are orders, Jack.
8
00:00:18,752 --> 00:00:21,084
King George is expecting
us to find a statue.
9
00:00:21,154 --> 00:00:23,748
It's rumored to have been within
these walls for thousands of years.
10
00:00:23,823 --> 00:00:25,313
Oh, big whoop.
11
00:00:26,659 --> 00:00:29,287
Oh, yeah!
I've heard of this place.
12
00:00:29,429 --> 00:00:32,091
The Lost Temple of the
Wallawalla Bing Bang.
13
00:00:32,165 --> 00:00:33,689
Precisely.
What?
14
00:00:33,767 --> 00:00:35,826
Their secret order
vanished long ago.
15
00:00:35,902 --> 00:00:38,928
Oh, I see. So now, we're
international grave robbers, huh?
16
00:00:39,005 --> 00:00:42,236
I think you've exhausted your
complaints for one day, Jack.
17
00:00:43,410 --> 00:00:44,434
After you.
18
00:00:44,511 --> 00:00:46,911
Oh, why do I
always get the shaft?
19
00:00:47,113 --> 00:00:48,307
(SIGHS)
20
00:00:48,415 --> 00:00:49,404
In point of fact,
21
00:00:49,482 --> 00:00:52,747
not only are we securing a valuable
artifact for the British Museum,
22
00:00:52,819 --> 00:00:54,878
we're preserving the memory
of an extinct society.
23
00:00:54,954 --> 00:00:56,478
Oh, how exciting!
24
00:00:56,556 --> 00:00:58,786
Maybe later we can
fold the laundry.
25
00:00:58,858 --> 00:01:00,155
Careful now.
26
00:01:00,226 --> 00:01:03,195
Oh, relax, sister,
I'm like a cat. I always
27
00:01:03,263 --> 00:01:04,457
(JACK YELLS)
28
00:01:05,331 --> 00:01:06,423
Land.
29
00:01:06,666 --> 00:01:08,861
Are you sure
you're 190 pounds?
30
00:01:08,935 --> 00:01:09,993
(COUGHS)
31
00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:12,436
Yeah. Give or take a few.
32
00:01:13,406 --> 00:01:15,203
Well, plus a few more.
33
00:01:15,275 --> 00:01:17,539
Oh, come on. Croque's
food is so damn rich.
34
00:01:17,610 --> 00:01:18,804
(GASPS)
35
00:01:19,646 --> 00:01:22,274
Look! There it is!
36
00:01:22,348 --> 00:01:23,508
(LAUGHS)
37
00:01:23,583 --> 00:01:24,982
You've gotta be
kidding me.
38
00:01:25,051 --> 00:01:27,042
We came all this way for
that stupid-Iooking thing?
39
00:01:27,120 --> 00:01:28,712
It's called,
"El Chango De Plata."
40
00:01:28,788 --> 00:01:29,846
El Chango De who?
41
00:01:29,923 --> 00:01:31,584
The Silver Monkey.
42
00:01:32,425 --> 00:01:33,619
Okay.
Whatever, let's go.
43
00:01:33,693 --> 00:01:36,594
Wait! No doubt this
chamber is booby-trapped.
44
00:01:42,802 --> 00:01:44,702
Concentrated beams of light
45
00:01:45,972 --> 00:01:49,135
illuminated by the sunrays
from the cabin ceiling
46
00:01:49,609 --> 00:01:51,907
and reflected
by polished stone.
47
00:01:53,613 --> 00:01:55,774
If we break the circuit, I
don't know what's gonna happen.
48
00:01:55,849 --> 00:01:57,612
All right. Well, that's
fine. I'll take it from here.
49
00:01:57,684 --> 00:01:59,879
No, no, no. I was the limbo
champion at boarding school.
50
00:01:59,953 --> 00:02:01,648
I'll give it a go first.
51
00:02:07,827 --> 00:02:09,988
(SIGHING)
52
00:02:10,063 --> 00:02:11,928
(LAUGHING) Oh, yeah?
53
00:02:11,998 --> 00:02:14,796
Well, I was first in my class
at high jump, baby!
54
00:02:17,103 --> 00:02:18,434
(GRUNTING)
55
00:02:19,272 --> 00:02:20,603
(EXCLAIMS)
56
00:02:21,307 --> 00:02:22,968
(CHUCKLES)
Not bad.
57
00:02:23,076 --> 00:02:24,202
Ooh, ooh, ooh.
No, no! Jack!
58
00:02:24,277 --> 00:02:26,438
What?
Don't step on the red tiles.
59
00:02:26,513 --> 00:02:29,880
My research tells me the Wallawalla
Bing Bangs equate red with death!
60
00:02:29,949 --> 00:02:31,576
Well, I'm sorry,
I missed that memo.
61
00:02:31,651 --> 00:02:33,278
(SIGHS)
Follow me.
62
00:02:56,676 --> 00:02:58,667
What are you waiting for? No!
63
00:03:01,714 --> 00:03:04,012
Something tells me
that's not beer foam.
64
00:03:04,083 --> 00:03:07,052
But you know, a beer would go
down pretty good right about now.
65
00:03:07,120 --> 00:03:08,485
That smell, Jack.
66
00:03:08,555 --> 00:03:10,455
It's hydrochloric acid!
67
00:03:10,657 --> 00:03:13,319
Oh, talk about
a bad acid trip.
68
00:03:20,300 --> 00:03:24,600
(SINGING) In 1801,
the Revolution had been won
69
00:03:24,671 --> 00:03:26,662
And Uncle Sam's favorite son
70
00:03:26,739 --> 00:03:28,468
Had a job he needed done
71
00:03:28,541 --> 00:03:30,406
Which brought Jack to a lady
72
00:03:30,476 --> 00:03:32,467
Both beautiful and smart
73
00:03:32,545 --> 00:03:34,604
Who found his mix intriguing
74
00:03:34,681 --> 00:03:36,512
A scoundrel with a heart!
75
00:03:40,186 --> 00:03:42,347
From the Halls of Montezuma
76
00:03:42,422 --> 00:03:44,049
To the shores of Tripoli
77
00:03:44,123 --> 00:03:46,455
There was never
a leatherneck braver
78
00:03:46,526 --> 00:03:48,153
A daring dragoon is he!
79
00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:50,253
He'll halt the bold advance
80
00:03:50,330 --> 00:03:52,264
Of Napoleon's attack
81
00:03:52,332 --> 00:03:54,527
There ain't a French
or pirate rogue
82
00:03:54,601 --> 00:03:57,092
Who don't know Jack!
83
00:03:58,238 --> 00:04:00,399
From the Halls of Montezuma
84
00:04:00,473 --> 00:04:02,304
To the shores of Tripoli
85
00:04:02,642 --> 00:04:04,507
Sailin' 'round
the bloody world
86
00:04:04,577 --> 00:04:06,238
To defend democracy
87
00:04:06,312 --> 00:04:08,507
And when ya need
a fightin' man
88
00:04:08,581 --> 00:04:10,139
To trust or watch your back
89
00:04:10,216 --> 00:04:12,446
Just ask the bloke
right next to ya
90
00:04:12,518 --> 00:04:13,644
Damn right!
91
00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:15,449
It's Jack!
92
00:04:19,692 --> 00:04:21,319
(SIGHING) Oh, no, Jack!
93
00:04:21,394 --> 00:04:24,192
The room's filling
with hydrochloric acid!
94
00:04:24,330 --> 00:04:26,525
How could you just take
the statue off the pedestal
95
00:04:26,599 --> 00:04:28,032
without putting
something in its place?
96
00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:29,432
It's the oldest trick
in the book.
97
00:04:29,502 --> 00:04:31,993
Hey, I skipped class
that day, okay?
98
00:04:32,071 --> 00:04:33,868
(EMILIA) Stop.
What?
99
00:04:34,207 --> 00:04:37,233
Oh, Jack, I told you not
to stand on the red tiles.
100
00:04:37,310 --> 00:04:39,403
Em, that's not a red tile,
that's a blue tile.
101
00:04:39,479 --> 00:04:41,037
This is all
getting very confusing.
102
00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:42,706
You should've
read the manual to this...
103
00:04:42,782 --> 00:04:44,374
(DOORS RUMBLING)
104
00:04:49,055 --> 00:04:50,249
(GASPS)
105
00:04:50,523 --> 00:04:52,047
(QUAVERING) No!
106
00:04:52,558 --> 00:04:53,855
(JACK GRUNTS)
107
00:04:53,926 --> 00:04:55,291
Oh, the hell with this!
108
00:04:55,361 --> 00:04:56,988
Jack, what are you doing?
109
00:04:57,063 --> 00:04:58,087
No!
110
00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:02,934
Oh, how bad could it be?
111
00:05:03,002 --> 00:05:04,492
Come on, Jack!
112
00:05:06,272 --> 00:05:07,864
(JACK SCREAMING)
113
00:05:10,710 --> 00:05:11,699
Come on, Jack!
114
00:05:11,778 --> 00:05:13,245
Oh, pretty bad!
115
00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:15,042
(MONKEY CHATTERING)
116
00:05:16,382 --> 00:05:18,873
Oh, Em,
I'm a human pin cushion!
117
00:05:19,052 --> 00:05:20,383
(GRUNTING)
118
00:05:24,757 --> 00:05:26,281
Wow, are we good.
119
00:05:26,392 --> 00:05:27,620
(LAUGHS)
120
00:05:27,694 --> 00:05:28,786
(GROANING)
121
00:05:29,662 --> 00:05:30,993
(RUMBLING)
122
00:05:36,469 --> 00:05:38,266
How am I ever
gonna get up there?
123
00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:39,965
All aboard, baby.
124
00:05:42,041 --> 00:05:43,372
Up you go.
125
00:05:45,912 --> 00:05:47,675
Oh, quit groping me.
126
00:05:49,315 --> 00:05:50,976
Emilia Rothschild!
127
00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:56,879
Hurry up, Jack!
128
00:05:58,157 --> 00:05:59,954
Come on.
Go, baby! Go!
129
00:06:05,331 --> 00:06:06,958
Was it good
for you, too?
130
00:06:07,033 --> 00:06:08,500
I'll always treasure
this moment.
131
00:06:08,568 --> 00:06:10,593
(LAUGHS)
You zing me, baby!
132
00:06:19,679 --> 00:06:20,703
Oh.
133
00:06:24,484 --> 00:06:25,712
(LAUGHS)
134
00:06:26,986 --> 00:06:28,010
(JEAN-CLAUDE SQUAWKING)
135
00:06:28,087 --> 00:06:29,315
Bonjour!
136
00:06:30,189 --> 00:06:31,554
Monsieur, madame,
137
00:06:31,624 --> 00:06:35,492
I have orders for Monsieur Stiles
from President Jefferson himself.
138
00:06:35,561 --> 00:06:37,051
Wait a second, J-C.
139
00:06:37,130 --> 00:06:39,030
I thought the whole idea
of a talking carrier parrot
140
00:06:39,098 --> 00:06:41,430
was so that no one could
intercept written messages.
141
00:06:41,501 --> 00:06:45,096
Well, for some reason, my short
term memory seems to be failing me.
142
00:06:45,171 --> 00:06:46,832
Yeah. I bet you get
the munchies a lot, too.
143
00:06:46,906 --> 00:06:47,930
(LAUGHS)
144
00:06:48,007 --> 00:06:49,031
I admit nothing.
145
00:06:49,108 --> 00:06:50,632
Vive la resistance!
146
00:06:50,710 --> 00:06:51,699
New orders, already?
147
00:06:51,778 --> 00:06:53,177
Yeah. It's from
the President.
148
00:06:53,246 --> 00:06:55,737
Must be a medal
or at least a raise.
149
00:06:57,850 --> 00:06:59,010
Uh...
150
00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:00,477
Sorry, Em.
151
00:07:00,553 --> 00:07:02,418
For which one of your
countless transgressions?
152
00:07:02,488 --> 00:07:05,184
Well, I have orders here that say
the monkey has to go back to America.
153
00:07:05,258 --> 00:07:07,021
What? That's impossible.
154
00:07:07,093 --> 00:07:09,459
My king and your president
assigned us to work together.
155
00:07:09,529 --> 00:07:10,996
Why would they send us
conflicting orders?
156
00:07:11,063 --> 00:07:13,190
Well, I have no idea,
but this is legit.
157
00:07:13,266 --> 00:07:15,234
Well, as are mine, Jack.
158
00:07:16,169 --> 00:07:19,605
Sorry, Em, but I gotta take
that monkey off your back.
159
00:07:20,306 --> 00:07:21,933
I don't think so.
160
00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:24,671
(GROANS)
161
00:07:25,344 --> 00:07:26,743
(SNICKERING)
162
00:07:27,180 --> 00:07:28,613
What is so funny?
163
00:07:28,681 --> 00:07:31,241
All your export ships
are at sea, remember?
164
00:07:31,317 --> 00:07:33,717
You don't have another one
due back until tomorrow.
165
00:07:33,786 --> 00:07:35,014
Well, what makes you think
166
00:07:35,087 --> 00:07:37,146
I can't play monkey in the
middle with you for a day?
167
00:07:37,223 --> 00:07:38,690
Okay. Okay.
168
00:07:38,958 --> 00:07:40,755
How about
a friendly little wager?
169
00:07:40,827 --> 00:07:41,919
Okay.
170
00:07:41,994 --> 00:07:43,859
If that monkey winds up
stateside,
171
00:07:43,930 --> 00:07:46,330
you're gonna be
my servant for one month.
172
00:07:46,399 --> 00:07:48,765
Fine! And if I send it
to England, you'll be mine.
173
00:07:48,835 --> 00:07:50,234
Deal. Shake.
174
00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:55,532
Oh, nice try, Jack.
You almost had me.
175
00:07:55,675 --> 00:07:58,041
I suppose I'll see you
at Croque's then.
176
00:07:59,212 --> 00:08:00,440
(GROANS)
177
00:08:01,013 --> 00:08:02,344
(CHUCKLING) Too slow, Jack!
178
00:08:02,415 --> 00:08:03,473
(LAUGHING)
179
00:08:03,549 --> 00:08:07,007
Just warming up, Em.
Just warming up.
180
00:08:10,289 --> 00:08:12,189
Two enormous tentacles!
181
00:08:19,866 --> 00:08:21,356
Oh, Mr. Stiles.
182
00:08:21,434 --> 00:08:24,892
I was just apologizing on your
behalf, for your tardiness.
183
00:08:24,971 --> 00:08:28,134
Sorry I'm late, Gov, but
I fell for the wrong girl.
184
00:08:28,207 --> 00:08:30,767
Au contraire, Jacques,
you are just in time.
185
00:08:30,843 --> 00:08:33,971
It seems our Captain Brogard
has hidden talents.
186
00:08:34,046 --> 00:08:37,038
He has made some most
delicious hors d'oeuvres.
187
00:08:37,116 --> 00:08:38,811
Oh, Governor,
it was nothing.
188
00:08:38,885 --> 00:08:40,580
Just a little something
I threw...
189
00:08:40,653 --> 00:08:43,019
Would you care to sample
the Captain's crab balls?
190
00:08:43,089 --> 00:08:44,351
Not on your life.
191
00:08:44,423 --> 00:08:46,448
But I can recommend a good
physician for that, Brogie.
192
00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:47,652
Clear you right up.
193
00:08:47,727 --> 00:08:49,957
I'd be happy to partake
of your balls, Captain.
194
00:08:50,029 --> 00:08:51,621
JACK: You would.
195
00:08:53,699 --> 00:08:56,532
My friends, I have
the most exciting news.
196
00:08:56,602 --> 00:08:58,331
It seems that
the Lost Temple
197
00:08:58,404 --> 00:08:59,871
of the
Wallawalla Bing Bang tribe
198
00:08:59,939 --> 00:09:02,737
has been discovered
on our own fair island!
199
00:09:02,808 --> 00:09:04,605
I hadn't heard that. No.
You don't say?
200
00:09:04,677 --> 00:09:08,135
Sadly, the prized statuette
known as El Chango de Plata
201
00:09:08,714 --> 00:09:10,682
was nowhere to be found.
202
00:09:10,750 --> 00:09:13,742
Which means that
someone on Palau-Palau
203
00:09:13,819 --> 00:09:16,117
has stolen property
belonging to
204
00:09:17,456 --> 00:09:19,117
the French Empire.
205
00:09:19,926 --> 00:09:22,724
Not to worry, Governor.
My men are on the hunt.
206
00:09:22,795 --> 00:09:26,026
And the thief
will be shot on sight.
207
00:09:29,168 --> 00:09:30,726
(HUMMING)
208
00:09:39,045 --> 00:09:40,410
(WATER SPLASHING)
209
00:09:46,852 --> 00:09:48,114
(SIGHING)
210
00:09:52,458 --> 00:09:53,550
(LAUGHING)
211
00:09:55,394 --> 00:09:56,884
Jack, are you crazy?
212
00:09:56,963 --> 00:09:58,590
What do you think
you're doing?
213
00:09:58,664 --> 00:10:00,495
Oh, no, baby,
I'm just playing hardball.
214
00:10:00,566 --> 00:10:02,431
Now, come on.
Show me the monkey.
215
00:10:02,501 --> 00:10:05,834
Well, I am afraid you'll have to
play hardball with yourself, Jack,
216
00:10:05,905 --> 00:10:07,600
because you'll never
touch my monkey.
217
00:10:07,673 --> 00:10:10,267
Well, that's okay. You gotta
come out of there sometime,
218
00:10:10,343 --> 00:10:12,311
so I'm pretty much
guaranteed one monkey
219
00:10:12,378 --> 00:10:14,903
or at least
a show I'll never forget.
220
00:10:16,115 --> 00:10:18,447
Well, you have to
sleep sometime.
221
00:10:18,584 --> 00:10:19,915
Oh, good point.
222
00:10:19,986 --> 00:10:23,114
Oh, well, I'll just have to
up the ante, won't I?
223
00:10:23,189 --> 00:10:24,520
You wouldn't!
224
00:10:24,590 --> 00:10:26,455
(LAUGHING)
I already did!
225
00:10:26,525 --> 00:10:28,117
(WATER DRAINING)
226
00:10:28,260 --> 00:10:29,693
Now, you don't
have to give in, Em,
227
00:10:29,762 --> 00:10:33,027
because the human body
is nothing to be ashamed of.
228
00:10:40,873 --> 00:10:42,170
It's under my bed.
229
00:10:42,241 --> 00:10:43,572
(GUFFAWING)
230
00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:44,940
You are so easy.
231
00:10:45,011 --> 00:10:48,378
I knew your modest English
upbringing would be your weak spot.
232
00:10:48,781 --> 00:10:49,839
Yep.
233
00:10:49,915 --> 00:10:52,748
Oh, I'll get to
that monkey any minute now.
234
00:10:55,855 --> 00:10:57,186
(LAUGHING)
235
00:11:04,196 --> 00:11:05,891
Come to Papa!
236
00:11:07,900 --> 00:11:09,231
(JACK SCREAMING)
237
00:11:09,301 --> 00:11:10,893
(TRAPS CLICKING)
238
00:11:13,439 --> 00:11:14,463
Ow!
239
00:11:18,277 --> 00:11:19,437
Ha ha!
240
00:11:44,370 --> 00:11:46,065
Oh, no! Oh, no!
241
00:11:48,307 --> 00:11:50,434
I'm having d�ja vu
all over again.
242
00:11:56,682 --> 00:11:57,910
Not this time.
243
00:12:05,324 --> 00:12:07,121
Well, I'm glad that's over.
244
00:12:11,964 --> 00:12:14,797
Well, Jack,
have we learned our lesson?
245
00:12:14,867 --> 00:12:16,198
Hey, time out, sister.
246
00:12:16,268 --> 00:12:18,759
This isn't funny anymore, you
could've killed me up there!
247
00:12:18,838 --> 00:12:21,773
Oh, spare me the wounded
animal routine. It won't work.
248
00:12:21,841 --> 00:12:25,004
Now if you'll excuse me,
I have a monkey to hide.
249
00:12:31,317 --> 00:12:32,944
If you're looking to give me
a fright, Jack,
250
00:12:33,018 --> 00:12:36,249
be a little more careful.
Your knife almost killed me!
251
00:12:36,322 --> 00:12:38,620
Oh, get outta town.
That's not my knife.
252
00:12:38,691 --> 00:12:40,886
Oh, yes. And I suppose
the knife just embedded itself
253
00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:42,427
in the doorway
above my head, did it?
254
00:12:42,495 --> 00:12:44,861
I'm tellin' ya, I didn't throw
that knife! And you should talk,
255
00:12:44,930 --> 00:12:48,024
that push off the roof disqualifies
you from our little wager.
256
00:12:48,100 --> 00:12:49,294
What?
Oh, yeah.
257
00:12:49,368 --> 00:12:52,166
And now I win by default.
Now cough up the ape!
258
00:12:52,238 --> 00:12:54,468
You're not getting the
ape, Jack! Get off it!
259
00:12:54,540 --> 00:12:56,064
(BOTH GRUNTING)
260
00:12:56,142 --> 00:12:57,575
Jack!
Give me that!
261
00:12:58,611 --> 00:13:00,238
That's my monkey.
262
00:13:04,450 --> 00:13:05,974
(EMILIA GRUNTS)
263
00:13:08,454 --> 00:13:11,184
BROGARD: Well, well, well.
What do we have here?
264
00:13:12,424 --> 00:13:15,359
It seems we have found
our thieves, Governor.
265
00:13:16,529 --> 00:13:18,121
Emilia, Jacques?
266
00:13:19,098 --> 00:13:23,194
I am sorry we did not find you in
a less public place, my friends.
267
00:13:23,269 --> 00:13:26,636
Unfortunately, I will now
have to execute you at once.
268
00:13:33,112 --> 00:13:34,943
I cannot tell you
how disappointed I am
269
00:13:35,014 --> 00:13:38,973
to discover that it was you
who pilfered my prized monkey.
270
00:13:39,318 --> 00:13:40,546
Captain!
271
00:13:40,920 --> 00:13:42,182
I will miss you,
madame.
272
00:13:42,254 --> 00:13:43,380
Say, what about me?
273
00:13:43,455 --> 00:13:44,922
Present arms!
274
00:13:45,758 --> 00:13:46,918
Ready!
275
00:13:48,294 --> 00:13:49,352
Aim!
276
00:13:50,496 --> 00:13:52,020
Governor, wait!
277
00:13:52,298 --> 00:13:53,822
We're innocent!
278
00:13:53,899 --> 00:13:57,391
But how do you explain your
possession of the prized monkey?
279
00:13:57,469 --> 00:13:58,561
Yeah?
280
00:13:58,804 --> 00:14:00,328
I mean, uh,
tell them, Em.
281
00:14:00,406 --> 00:14:03,307
The Dragoon
broke into our home.
282
00:14:03,676 --> 00:14:05,473
But why on earth
would he do such a thing?
283
00:14:05,544 --> 00:14:08,069
What was it again he said, Jack?
About the... Oh, yeah, about the...
284
00:14:08,147 --> 00:14:09,171
Oh, God! What was it?
285
00:14:09,248 --> 00:14:12,411
Oh, he wanted us to
fence the monkey for him!
286
00:14:12,484 --> 00:14:14,611
Exactly! And because
I am an exporter,
287
00:14:14,687 --> 00:14:17,815
he thought I could help sell it
and smuggle it off the island!
288
00:14:17,890 --> 00:14:19,653
Uh-huh. But you know
what we said?
289
00:14:19,725 --> 00:14:21,659
"Hello? No!
290
00:14:21,760 --> 00:14:24,991
"No, the monkey belongs to
the mighty Governor Croque."
291
00:14:25,064 --> 00:14:27,692
I would love to believe
your convenient excuse,
292
00:14:27,766 --> 00:14:29,290
but what proof do you have?
293
00:14:29,368 --> 00:14:30,699
Hmm? Proof?
What proof?
294
00:14:30,769 --> 00:14:33,067
Jack ripped off his mask.
295
00:14:33,639 --> 00:14:35,004
Impossible.
296
00:14:35,374 --> 00:14:37,808
A bumbling fool
like Monsieur Stiles
297
00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:40,175
could never best
the Daring Dragoon.
298
00:14:40,246 --> 00:14:41,440
Oh, no?
299
00:14:42,481 --> 00:14:45,075
How do you like
them apples, Craptain?
300
00:14:45,618 --> 00:14:47,552
Mon dieu, it is true!
301
00:14:48,220 --> 00:14:51,485
You bet it's true. And when
I saw that little weasel,
302
00:14:51,590 --> 00:14:53,922
ooh! I got the strength
of 10 men.
303
00:14:53,993 --> 00:14:56,928
I became a veritable
superman! Right, Em?
304
00:14:57,062 --> 00:14:58,859
Oh, yes.
Jack was mighty.
305
00:14:58,931 --> 00:15:02,230
A dynamo. A towering hunk
of manly strength.
306
00:15:02,301 --> 00:15:05,793
That's right! And that coward
ran like a three-legged chicken.
307
00:15:05,871 --> 00:15:08,431
Yes, and of course, we
ended up with the monkey.
308
00:15:08,507 --> 00:15:09,974
And then, oh, well...
309
00:15:10,042 --> 00:15:13,011
We started fighting about who would
have the honor of presenting it to you...
310
00:15:13,078 --> 00:15:14,340
And, wow!
311
00:15:14,413 --> 00:15:16,313
Ignore my order, Captain.
312
00:15:16,382 --> 00:15:19,442
It is clear we have
misjudged our dear friends.
313
00:15:19,518 --> 00:15:22,385
And I finally have
El Chango De Plata.
314
00:15:22,488 --> 00:15:24,547
Well, no apology necessary.
315
00:15:24,623 --> 00:15:28,582
So, Governor, will you be keeping the
Silver Monkey in your home then or...
316
00:15:28,861 --> 00:15:33,161
Oh, no. That is no way to
treat such a priceless treasure.
317
00:15:33,699 --> 00:15:37,328
I shall melt you down and
make ten little copies of you,
318
00:15:37,403 --> 00:15:39,337
and then sell each
as an original
319
00:15:39,405 --> 00:15:41,202
for twice the cost
of the whole.
320
00:15:41,273 --> 00:15:42,763
Come, Captain.
321
00:15:43,208 --> 00:15:44,573
(GUFFAWS)
322
00:15:44,643 --> 00:15:46,235
Say, why didn't you
think of that?
323
00:15:46,312 --> 00:15:48,906
(SIGHS) Well?
Well, what?
324
00:15:48,981 --> 00:15:51,245
It was my quick thinking
that saved our lives,
325
00:15:51,317 --> 00:15:53,148
and you're not even going
to apologize, are you?
326
00:15:53,218 --> 00:15:54,378
Emilia, I'm your partner,
327
00:15:54,453 --> 00:15:56,717
why would I try and kill you
over a piece of jewelry?
328
00:15:56,789 --> 00:15:59,587
Well, apart from your fragile
male ego, you wouldn't.
329
00:15:59,658 --> 00:16:01,523
Okay. So I'm not
trying to kill you,
330
00:16:01,593 --> 00:16:02,651
you're not
trying to kill me,
331
00:16:02,728 --> 00:16:04,559
so no one's
trying to kill anybody.
332
00:16:05,164 --> 00:16:06,961
(JACK AND EMILIA SCREAMING)
333
00:16:08,767 --> 00:16:10,359
You were saying?
334
00:16:10,636 --> 00:16:11,967
Hey, look!
335
00:16:12,805 --> 00:16:14,397
You there, stop!
336
00:16:19,712 --> 00:16:21,179
Cover seven?
337
00:16:27,219 --> 00:16:28,811
(ALL CHATTERING)
338
00:16:36,528 --> 00:16:37,790
(SCREAMS)
339
00:16:42,401 --> 00:16:44,699
All right, pal!
Who the hell are you?
340
00:16:44,770 --> 00:16:46,533
And why are you
trying to kill us?
341
00:16:46,605 --> 00:16:48,004
I am Wiranto,
342
00:16:48,073 --> 00:16:49,973
a member of
the Secret Order of
343
00:16:50,042 --> 00:16:51,976
the Wallawalla Bing Bangs.
344
00:16:52,044 --> 00:16:53,841
BOTH: The Wallawalla
Bing Bangs?
345
00:16:53,912 --> 00:16:56,039
But they're extinct, vanished
for thousands of years.
346
00:16:56,115 --> 00:16:59,050
A rumor, a myth spread
to conceal our hiding.
347
00:16:59,685 --> 00:17:01,277
We were forced
to flee the sacred temple
348
00:17:01,353 --> 00:17:03,685
when our island was first
occupied by the French,
349
00:17:03,756 --> 00:17:06,486
and now we want
our monkey back.
350
00:17:08,360 --> 00:17:10,123
Well, we don't
have it anymore.
351
00:17:10,195 --> 00:17:12,755
Well, you were the ones who stole
it from our temple, and for that,
352
00:17:12,831 --> 00:17:15,994
the Wallawalla Bing Bangs will
not rest until you are skinned.
353
00:17:16,068 --> 00:17:18,229
Well, look, if you geniuses
hadn't kept yourselves secret,
354
00:17:18,303 --> 00:17:19,930
we never would've
taken the damn thing.
355
00:17:20,005 --> 00:17:21,700
If we retrieve
the statue for you,
356
00:17:21,774 --> 00:17:25,175
will the Wallawallas consider
revoking our death warrants?
357
00:17:25,244 --> 00:17:27,007
I don't see why not.
358
00:17:27,813 --> 00:17:30,304
Well, if you get it back,
no harm done, I suppose.
359
00:17:30,382 --> 00:17:31,974
But if you fail,
360
00:17:33,185 --> 00:17:34,345
death.
361
00:17:39,058 --> 00:17:40,389
(GRUNTING)
362
00:17:42,761 --> 00:17:45,025
Do not worry, Monkey.
363
00:17:45,097 --> 00:17:48,123
It will be like a warm bath,
nothing more.
364
00:17:49,234 --> 00:17:51,225
Melt me, Governor!
365
00:17:52,337 --> 00:17:54,100
At once, little one.
366
00:17:55,507 --> 00:17:56,769
Excuse me, Governor,
367
00:17:56,842 --> 00:18:00,209
but I was hoping to witness the dissolution
of this priceless treasure firsthand.
368
00:18:00,279 --> 00:18:04,511
Of course, Emilia. As you
say, the more the merrier.
369
00:18:05,584 --> 00:18:06,915
(LAUGHING)
370
00:18:07,119 --> 00:18:10,088
Well, looks like it's time
for a little gorilla warfare.
371
00:18:10,155 --> 00:18:11,383
Brogard!
372
00:18:12,458 --> 00:18:13,652
Get him!
373
00:18:18,630 --> 00:18:19,858
(GROANS)
374
00:18:22,267 --> 00:18:23,393
(GROANS)
375
00:18:23,469 --> 00:18:26,996
Now what did I tell you guys about
getting hammered at work, huh?
376
00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:28,698
(JACK CHUCKLING)
377
00:18:30,142 --> 00:18:31,473
(GRUNTING)
378
00:18:34,179 --> 00:18:36,272
JACK: Talk about
a gut bomb.
379
00:18:43,522 --> 00:18:44,580
(CHUCKLES)
380
00:18:44,656 --> 00:18:47,489
Take two anvils
and call me in the morning.
381
00:18:54,733 --> 00:18:57,861
Sorry to throw a monkey wrench
into your plans, Governor.
382
00:19:02,574 --> 00:19:03,973
Not so fast!
383
00:19:05,277 --> 00:19:06,972
Care for a game of poker?
384
00:19:10,983 --> 00:19:14,282
Round and round she goes! Where
she stops, nobody knows. Ha!
385
00:19:27,599 --> 00:19:29,260
(BROGARD GROANING)
386
00:19:30,402 --> 00:19:33,235
I think it's time we ironed
out our little problem.
387
00:19:35,607 --> 00:19:37,040
(LAUGHING)
388
00:19:41,146 --> 00:19:42,374
Right.
They're finished.
389
00:19:42,447 --> 00:19:44,915
Now, spot the original.
390
00:19:50,689 --> 00:19:53,385
Em, you're a genius.
They're exactly identical.
391
00:19:53,992 --> 00:19:55,254
This one.
392
00:19:56,795 --> 00:19:59,389
There's no hiding the real
monkey from one of my people.
393
00:19:59,464 --> 00:20:01,659
Return it to them,
that's where it belongs.
394
00:20:01,733 --> 00:20:04,861
Besides King George and President
Jefferson will each have one of their own.
395
00:20:04,937 --> 00:20:06,962
The Secret Society
of the Wallawalla Bing Bangs
396
00:20:07,039 --> 00:20:09,200
owes you a great debt
of gratitude.
397
00:20:09,274 --> 00:20:11,640
By the way, what is so secret
that you can't tell anyone?
398
00:20:11,710 --> 00:20:15,669
Unfortunately, the world is not
ready for the secret we have to offer.
399
00:20:15,747 --> 00:20:17,408
Some day, perhaps.
400
00:20:17,516 --> 00:20:19,177
Until that day comes,
401
00:20:19,251 --> 00:20:22,152
be decent to each other,
and stay off drugs.
402
00:20:30,162 --> 00:20:31,959
Did... Did he just...
403
00:20:34,666 --> 00:20:35,690
No.
404
00:20:36,168 --> 00:20:38,295
I think we learned a
valuable lesson today, Jack.
405
00:20:38,370 --> 00:20:39,394
We did?
406
00:20:39,471 --> 00:20:41,234
Yes. Can you guess
what it is?
407
00:20:41,306 --> 00:20:43,570
Uh, waste not, want not?
408
00:20:43,775 --> 00:20:44,799
No.
409
00:20:45,110 --> 00:20:46,509
Don't talk
with your mouth full.
410
00:20:46,578 --> 00:20:49,411
No! Although personal hygiene
is important.
411
00:20:49,514 --> 00:20:52,711
When we turned on each other, we
almost lost the monkey and our lives.
412
00:20:52,784 --> 00:20:55,082
Together,
we achieved our goals.
413
00:20:56,021 --> 00:20:57,886
United we stand, Jack.
414
00:20:58,223 --> 00:20:59,315
Divided we fall.
415
00:20:59,391 --> 00:21:02,724
All right. Well, now that we're back
together again, let's re-establish our roles.
416
00:21:02,794 --> 00:21:05,592
You make boring speeches about
science and I provide the witticism.
417
00:21:05,664 --> 00:21:08,030
All right, you've quipped me into shape!
418
00:21:08,367 --> 00:21:09,732
Touch�, Em.
30104
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