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1
00:00:12,212 --> 00:00:15,113
You see, that's the
kind of zip-a-dee-doo-dah
2
00:00:15,181 --> 00:00:17,547
that makes today's young
people so darned interesting.
3
00:00:17,617 --> 00:00:18,675
Codswallop, Jack.
4
00:00:18,752 --> 00:00:21,084
Their foolishness is only
going to get them in trouble.
5
00:00:21,154 --> 00:00:23,179
What, you're in favor
of the poverty tax?
6
00:00:23,256 --> 00:00:24,985
Why don't you tax
the lame while you're at it?
7
00:00:25,058 --> 00:00:27,322
Maybe you can force
those lazy bastards to walk.
8
00:00:27,394 --> 00:00:29,021
Of course I'm not
in favor of the tax.
9
00:00:29,095 --> 00:00:30,756
But I'm equally opposed
to those young girls
10
00:00:30,830 --> 00:00:32,388
risking their lives
in your name.
11
00:00:32,465 --> 00:00:33,591
Codswallop.
12
00:00:35,001 --> 00:00:36,093
(GASPS)
13
00:00:37,937 --> 00:00:42,101
Oh, dear, it's going to take more than
zip-a-dee-doo-dah to get them out of this one.
14
00:00:42,175 --> 00:00:43,233
Jack?
15
00:00:43,309 --> 00:00:44,606
You three, halt.
16
00:00:44,677 --> 00:00:48,044
Mon petit, you seem to have
mistaken this boat for the Louvre.
17
00:00:48,114 --> 00:00:49,308
JACK: Bonjour.
18
00:00:49,949 --> 00:00:51,109
(LAUGHING)
19
00:00:53,186 --> 00:00:55,051
If you want to expose
yourself to art,
20
00:00:55,121 --> 00:00:56,554
you've come to
the right place.
21
00:00:57,223 --> 00:00:58,485
(JACK LAUGHING)
22
00:00:59,025 --> 00:01:00,287
(GROANING)
23
00:01:02,595 --> 00:01:04,392
Oh, you got paint
on your sleeve.
24
00:01:04,464 --> 00:01:06,091
Here, have a new coat.
25
00:01:07,233 --> 00:01:08,461
(GRUNTING)
26
00:01:14,407 --> 00:01:15,396
(GROANS)
27
00:01:22,148 --> 00:01:23,945
So much for your brush
with greatness.
28
00:01:26,820 --> 00:01:29,311
Oh, ladies, please,
two at a time.
29
00:01:30,690 --> 00:01:31,987
WOMAN: My hero.
30
00:01:33,126 --> 00:01:35,094
Oh, come on.
They're harmless.
31
00:01:35,161 --> 00:01:38,221
Those poor misguided girls hang
off Dragoon's every word, Jack.
32
00:01:38,298 --> 00:01:40,493
And his influence
isn't helping them.
33
00:01:40,567 --> 00:01:42,125
What do you mean?
They're getting out there
34
00:01:42,202 --> 00:01:43,999
and they're taking
the frog by the legs.
35
00:01:44,070 --> 00:01:45,935
Besides,
young people need role models.
36
00:01:46,005 --> 00:01:47,029
(SCOFFING)
37
00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:49,940
Proper role models don't run around
telling impressionable young minds to,
38
00:01:50,009 --> 00:01:52,409
and I quote,
"Keep sticking it to the man."
39
00:01:52,479 --> 00:01:53,878
Well,
I'm not going to run around
40
00:01:53,947 --> 00:01:55,778
telling them
to drink their milk.
41
00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:57,310
(CHUCKLING)
42
00:01:58,318 --> 00:02:00,081
Jack, you may not
want to hear this,
43
00:02:00,787 --> 00:02:03,847
but perhaps the Dragoon
has outlived his usefulness.
44
00:02:03,923 --> 00:02:05,185
Oh, that'll be the day.
45
00:02:05,258 --> 00:02:07,988
You're just jealous because I've
got a fan club of worshippers
46
00:02:08,061 --> 00:02:09,494
who cherish and adore me.
47
00:02:09,562 --> 00:02:10,551
(SCOFFING)
48
00:02:10,663 --> 00:02:13,257
If I wanted a fan club,
I could just as easily
49
00:02:13,333 --> 00:02:15,426
run around
dressed up in a clown suit,
50
00:02:15,502 --> 00:02:16,833
spouting off inanities.
51
00:02:16,903 --> 00:02:17,870
Go for it.
52
00:02:17,937 --> 00:02:19,165
(JEAN-CLAUDE SQUAWKING)
53
00:02:19,239 --> 00:02:21,469
Oh, woe is me.
54
00:02:21,541 --> 00:02:23,566
Hey J.C., what's the
matter? You sound horrible.
55
00:02:23,643 --> 00:02:26,168
Oh,
after a night of debauchery,
56
00:02:26,246 --> 00:02:30,580
I awoke with a splitting
headache and a surprise tattoo.
57
00:02:30,650 --> 00:02:31,947
I don't see any tattoo.
58
00:02:32,018 --> 00:02:33,246
And you won't.
59
00:02:33,453 --> 00:02:36,650
Unless we make it
to a third date, madame.
60
00:02:36,723 --> 00:02:39,385
Well, anyway,
I bring urgent news.
61
00:02:39,459 --> 00:02:43,828
Napoleon has sent an inspector to
evaluate the Governor's performance
62
00:02:43,897 --> 00:02:46,866
and bring a new tax bill
for Croque to sign.
63
00:02:46,933 --> 00:02:48,025
(COUGHING) Vive la...
64
00:02:48,101 --> 00:02:50,035
Tell me when we get to
the part where I should care.
65
00:02:50,103 --> 00:02:52,128
Jack, if Croque fails,
66
00:02:52,205 --> 00:02:56,039
he'll be replaced by someone
who's, well, competent.
67
00:02:56,109 --> 00:02:58,304
Someone who could
pose a very real threat
68
00:02:58,378 --> 00:03:00,005
to the people
of this island.
69
00:03:00,079 --> 00:03:02,639
Okay. When the Inspector shows
up, we'll cork him on the beaner
70
00:03:02,715 --> 00:03:04,649
and have him home
in time for Bastille Day.
71
00:03:04,717 --> 00:03:07,015
That would hardly help the
Governor pass the inspection.
72
00:03:07,086 --> 00:03:09,020
Look, I don't think
Croque can pass anything
73
00:03:09,088 --> 00:03:10,953
except for a couple
of kidney stones.
74
00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:12,048
(SIGHS)
75
00:03:12,125 --> 00:03:14,389
I'm afraid I have to agree
with you on this one, Jack.
76
00:03:14,727 --> 00:03:16,251
Well,
then let me don my disguise
77
00:03:16,329 --> 00:03:18,194
and we'll start
cracking some heads.
78
00:03:20,633 --> 00:03:23,602
You'll be donning a disguise,
all right.
79
00:03:27,807 --> 00:03:30,071
(CHATTERING)
80
00:03:30,143 --> 00:03:33,135
Okay, don't worry about
a thing, Governor. Yeah.
81
00:03:33,446 --> 00:03:34,708
(LAUGHING)
Madame.
82
00:03:36,549 --> 00:03:37,573
Emilia.
83
00:03:37,650 --> 00:03:39,277
Brogard!
84
00:03:39,686 --> 00:03:41,620
To the diamond mine,
Pierre.
85
00:03:41,688 --> 00:03:45,215
CROQUE: Take care of the chateau,
Emilia. We will return in two days.
86
00:03:52,532 --> 00:03:53,760
Inspector.
87
00:04:00,340 --> 00:04:02,274
Welcome to Palau-Palau,
Inspector.
88
00:04:02,342 --> 00:04:06,142
Ribette, Louis Ribette.
Who are you?
89
00:04:06,579 --> 00:04:08,444
Emilia Rothschild,
local exporter
90
00:04:08,514 --> 00:04:10,505
and the Governor's
close personal friend.
91
00:04:10,583 --> 00:04:12,073
Where is Croque?
92
00:04:12,318 --> 00:04:13,580
Uh...
93
00:04:13,653 --> 00:04:15,553
Oh, here he comes now.
94
00:04:20,593 --> 00:04:21,821
(LAUGHING)
95
00:04:21,894 --> 00:04:25,057
Bonjour, monsieur.
96
00:04:36,676 --> 00:04:40,612
(SINGING) In 1801,
the Revolution had been won
97
00:04:40,680 --> 00:04:42,648
And Uncle Sam's favorite son
98
00:04:42,715 --> 00:04:44,444
Had a job he needed done
99
00:04:44,517 --> 00:04:46,508
Which brought Jack to a lady
100
00:04:46,586 --> 00:04:48,486
Both beautiful and smart
101
00:04:48,554 --> 00:04:50,613
Who found his mix intriguing
102
00:04:50,690 --> 00:04:52,521
A scoundrel with a heart!
103
00:04:56,162 --> 00:04:58,357
From the Halls of Montezuma
104
00:04:58,431 --> 00:05:00,160
To the shores of Tripoli
105
00:05:00,233 --> 00:05:02,565
There was never
a leatherneck braver
106
00:05:02,635 --> 00:05:04,262
A daring dragoon is he!
107
00:05:04,337 --> 00:05:06,237
He'll halt the bold advance
108
00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:08,274
Of Napoleon's attack
109
00:05:08,341 --> 00:05:10,536
There ain't a French
or pirate rogue
110
00:05:10,610 --> 00:05:13,170
Who don't know Jack!
111
00:05:14,280 --> 00:05:16,373
From the Halls of Montezuma
112
00:05:16,449 --> 00:05:18,110
To the shores of Tripoli
113
00:05:18,651 --> 00:05:20,585
Sailin' 'round
the bloody world
114
00:05:20,653 --> 00:05:22,280
To defend democracy
115
00:05:22,355 --> 00:05:24,346
And when ya need
a fightin' man
116
00:05:24,424 --> 00:05:26,119
To trust or watch your back
117
00:05:26,192 --> 00:05:28,319
Just ask the bloke
right next to ya
118
00:05:28,394 --> 00:05:29,520
Damn right!
119
00:05:29,762 --> 00:05:31,423
It's Jack!
120
00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:35,824
You know,
this is never gonna work.
121
00:05:35,902 --> 00:05:37,028
I'm out, sister.
122
00:05:37,103 --> 00:05:38,900
Yes,
what were we thinking?
123
00:05:38,971 --> 00:05:41,906
Only a talented actor
could rise to the challenge.
124
00:05:42,809 --> 00:05:44,106
What are you trying to say?
125
00:05:44,177 --> 00:05:45,303
Well, let's face it, Jack.
126
00:05:45,378 --> 00:05:48,245
When it comes to acting like an
obnoxious oaf, you take the prize,
127
00:05:48,314 --> 00:05:50,612
but it's not exactly
the same thing as Shakespeare.
128
00:05:50,683 --> 00:05:52,947
I'll have you know, missy,
that my undercover work
129
00:05:53,019 --> 00:05:55,044
would be world-renowned
if it weren't classified.
130
00:05:55,121 --> 00:05:56,520
Well, let's hope you're right,
131
00:05:56,589 --> 00:05:58,250
because it's too late
to change our mind now.
132
00:05:58,324 --> 00:06:00,315
The Inspector thinks
you're the Governor.
133
00:06:00,593 --> 00:06:01,617
All right.
134
00:06:01,694 --> 00:06:02,752
Hey, speaking of which,
135
00:06:02,829 --> 00:06:04,729
how'd you get rid of
the old Croquester anyway?
136
00:06:04,797 --> 00:06:07,595
I started a rumor that a
diamond mine was discovered
137
00:06:07,667 --> 00:06:09,294
on the island's
eastern coastline.
138
00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:10,734
Croque and Brogard
were gone
139
00:06:10,803 --> 00:06:12,430
before you could say
"greedy buggers."
140
00:06:12,505 --> 00:06:15,406
Now, do try to comport yourself
with a modicum of authority.
141
00:06:15,475 --> 00:06:16,840
Hey, maybe later
you can show me
142
00:06:16,909 --> 00:06:19,036
how to hold my pinky
while I'm sipping tea.
143
00:06:19,112 --> 00:06:22,240
Now, as long as you don't go into
town, no one will recognize you.
144
00:06:22,315 --> 00:06:26,445
And if Ribette asks you to sign
a new tax into law, you stall him.
145
00:06:26,519 --> 00:06:28,885
Hey, what do I look
like to you, a novice?
146
00:06:28,955 --> 00:06:29,887
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
147
00:06:29,956 --> 00:06:31,048
RIBETTE: Croque!
148
00:06:38,531 --> 00:06:41,523
Sign the tax bill
and take me into town!
149
00:06:45,571 --> 00:06:46,731
(GRUNTS)
150
00:06:46,806 --> 00:06:48,865
Uh, well, Inspector,
151
00:06:48,941 --> 00:06:52,138
I have a policy never to sign
anything without reading it
152
00:06:52,211 --> 00:06:54,702
two or three hundred times.
153
00:06:54,781 --> 00:06:56,681
Sign it now!
154
00:06:57,817 --> 00:06:59,785
Stay out of town
and stall him.
155
00:06:59,852 --> 00:07:01,820
Any other bright ideas,
brainiac?
156
00:07:02,588 --> 00:07:04,886
Yes, actually,
now that you mention it.
157
00:07:04,957 --> 00:07:07,323
Get new partner. Return
old one to chimp school.
158
00:07:07,393 --> 00:07:09,588
Well, at least this chimp's
plan wasn't bananas.
159
00:07:09,662 --> 00:07:11,027
Inspector.
160
00:07:12,265 --> 00:07:14,893
How do you find
your accommodation?
161
00:07:15,234 --> 00:07:17,964
Dreadful.
Where are all my servants?
162
00:07:18,938 --> 00:07:22,374
The Governor was kind enough to
give his estate staff the day off.
163
00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:23,670
Right, Governor?
164
00:07:25,478 --> 00:07:29,073
Well, the day? Hell, I gave
them the whole week off.
165
00:07:30,016 --> 00:07:31,608
As I always say,
166
00:07:31,684 --> 00:07:34,482
rested servants
are less likely to revolt
167
00:07:34,554 --> 00:07:36,545
and stab your eyes out
in your sleep.
168
00:07:36,622 --> 00:07:40,080
I should be frank with you,
Governor Croque.
169
00:07:40,159 --> 00:07:43,128
I am here to evaluate
your performance.
170
00:07:43,196 --> 00:07:46,324
Your brother is worried
that you are an idiot.
171
00:07:46,399 --> 00:07:47,423
(LAUGHING)
172
00:07:47,500 --> 00:07:50,901
He is such a cad,
the little monkey.
173
00:07:51,437 --> 00:07:53,337
I assure you, Inspector,
174
00:07:53,406 --> 00:07:56,842
these people live in abject
fear of my brutal tyranny.
175
00:07:56,909 --> 00:07:57,898
(GRUNTING)
176
00:07:58,711 --> 00:07:59,700
(GRUNTING)
177
00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:02,910
What kind of trickery
is this?
178
00:08:04,217 --> 00:08:05,707
Vive la résistance!
179
00:08:06,152 --> 00:08:08,052
This is an outrage!
180
00:08:08,120 --> 00:08:10,520
What do you think of your
fan club now, Governor?
181
00:08:10,590 --> 00:08:12,956
Kids,
you've got to love them.
182
00:08:13,025 --> 00:08:14,617
(LAUGHING)
183
00:08:15,695 --> 00:08:20,394
No self-respecting tyrant
would stand for such mockery!
184
00:08:20,833 --> 00:08:23,700
Well, Inspector,
you must understand.
185
00:08:23,769 --> 00:08:26,966
This is how the locals
pay tribute.
186
00:08:27,039 --> 00:08:31,408
You see, see how they offer up
their hard-earned groceries?
187
00:08:32,011 --> 00:08:34,309
Thank you very much.
Please.
188
00:08:34,380 --> 00:08:36,371
Oh, you are too kind.
189
00:08:37,316 --> 00:08:39,375
Are you girls
completely insane?
190
00:08:39,452 --> 00:08:41,943
You just threw tomatoes at the
Inspector General of France.
191
00:08:42,021 --> 00:08:45,184
Even the smallest victory is
a crucial step toward justice.
192
00:08:45,258 --> 00:08:46,987
It's what the Dragoon
would have done.
193
00:08:47,059 --> 00:08:48,890
Because he's, like,
smart and stuff.
194
00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:51,963
And if the Dragoon told you
a stork delivered you
195
00:08:52,031 --> 00:08:53,589
to your parents
one fine morning,
196
00:08:53,666 --> 00:08:55,395
you'd believe that as well,
I suppose.
197
00:08:55,468 --> 00:08:57,129
Thank goodness
for the stork.
198
00:08:58,304 --> 00:08:59,601
You're an aristocrat.
199
00:08:59,672 --> 00:09:01,537
I don't expect you
to understand.
200
00:09:01,607 --> 00:09:05,008
Well, I don't understand your need
to die before your 21st birthday.
201
00:09:05,077 --> 00:09:07,773
It's easy to be sanctimonious
on a full stomach.
202
00:09:08,347 --> 00:09:09,905
Some of us aren't so lucky.
203
00:09:10,483 --> 00:09:11,507
Come on.
204
00:09:15,755 --> 00:09:18,724
EMILIA: "So You Want
to Be A Governor?"
205
00:09:19,625 --> 00:09:22,924
"The Idiot's Guide
to French Oppression. "
206
00:09:22,995 --> 00:09:26,021
What is this, a 12-step
program to dictatorship?
207
00:09:26,098 --> 00:09:28,362
No, I read that one, too.
Highly over-rated.
208
00:09:28,434 --> 00:09:30,129
You know, if I didn't
know any better,
209
00:09:30,202 --> 00:09:32,534
I'd say you're starting
to take this job seriously.
210
00:09:32,605 --> 00:09:33,902
Well, you know,
I gotta admit,
211
00:09:33,973 --> 00:09:35,702
governing has its appeal.
212
00:09:35,775 --> 00:09:38,903
Besides, I'm not about to let
Inspector Clueless get the best of me.
213
00:09:38,978 --> 00:09:41,412
You know, your groupies
almost ruined it for us today.
214
00:09:41,480 --> 00:09:43,812
Oh, come on, now. Their
hearts are in the right place.
215
00:09:43,883 --> 00:09:45,373
Yes, I suppose you're right.
216
00:09:45,451 --> 00:09:46,713
You know, Em, you're funny.
217
00:09:46,786 --> 00:09:49,118
An hour ago you wanted them
spanked and grounded.
218
00:09:49,188 --> 00:09:50,655
Well, I'll admit I admire
219
00:09:50,723 --> 00:09:52,554
their fanatical devotion
to a cause
220
00:09:52,625 --> 00:09:54,855
if you admit
you've created a monster.
221
00:09:54,994 --> 00:09:57,019
Yeah, but it's a monster
with great gams.
222
00:09:57,096 --> 00:09:59,360
RIBETTE: Croque!
223
00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:04,331
Looks like Ribette
just hit the fan.
224
00:10:04,403 --> 00:10:05,392
Oh!
225
00:10:07,106 --> 00:10:08,573
EMILIA: Hurry up, Jack.
226
00:10:12,645 --> 00:10:13,669
(GRUNTING)
227
00:10:13,746 --> 00:10:16,772
RIBETTE: Vandals,
you will be hung!
228
00:10:16,849 --> 00:10:18,510
Inspector, what's going on?
229
00:10:18,584 --> 00:10:20,814
What is the alarm, gendarme?
230
00:10:20,886 --> 00:10:22,649
Look what these
criminals have done.
231
00:10:22,722 --> 00:10:23,882
It is an outrage.
232
00:10:23,990 --> 00:10:26,584
Oh, well,
I'm sure it is just...
233
00:10:26,726 --> 00:10:27,715
(GASPS)
234
00:10:29,395 --> 00:10:30,487
Gadzooks!
235
00:10:30,563 --> 00:10:33,498
Governor, a leader
of resolute authority
236
00:10:33,566 --> 00:10:38,003
would promptly punish these
tramps for their insolence.
237
00:10:38,070 --> 00:10:39,230
(CLEARING THROAT)
238
00:10:39,705 --> 00:10:41,366
But, Inspector,
there seems to be
239
00:10:41,440 --> 00:10:42,907
some kind of
a misunderstanding
240
00:10:42,975 --> 00:10:46,240
because the Governor
is widely thought of
241
00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:50,942
as a mother figure
to all his people.
242
00:10:52,184 --> 00:10:54,675
Of course,
there are some who say
243
00:10:54,754 --> 00:10:59,350
I am the biggest mother
figure in the whole world.
244
00:10:59,425 --> 00:11:02,189
Governor, as I see it,
245
00:11:02,261 --> 00:11:04,126
there is only
one course of action
246
00:11:04,196 --> 00:11:07,290
to deter that type
of rebellion from spreading.
247
00:11:07,366 --> 00:11:09,800
Oh, well, yes, of course.
248
00:11:09,869 --> 00:11:13,032
Any good leader
is open to suggestion.
249
00:11:13,105 --> 00:11:14,197
Not this time.
250
00:11:14,774 --> 00:11:17,265
This is your final chance.
251
00:11:17,343 --> 00:11:18,332
Fail this,
252
00:11:18,411 --> 00:11:21,847
and a new governor who knows how
to deal with such insurrections
253
00:11:21,914 --> 00:11:24,178
will be here
in the blink of an eye!
254
00:11:26,185 --> 00:11:30,554
So, how are we going
to deal with these ruffians?
255
00:11:33,025 --> 00:11:34,959
Well...
256
00:11:35,795 --> 00:11:38,263
I would have to say,
257
00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:40,757
execute them at once.
258
00:11:43,335 --> 00:11:44,632
(LAUGHING NERVOUSLY)
259
00:11:46,806 --> 00:11:47,738
Tres bien.
260
00:11:47,807 --> 00:11:50,275
It's about time you started
showing some backbone, Croque.
261
00:11:50,342 --> 00:11:53,903
Well, I was just waiting
for the perfect moment.
262
00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:56,038
Governor,
are you out of your mind?
263
00:11:56,115 --> 00:11:57,742
You can't kill
these poor girls.
264
00:11:57,817 --> 00:12:00,581
Nonsense. He's the Governor.
He can do as he pleases.
265
00:12:00,653 --> 00:12:04,248
In theory, yes, but not if he
fears the wrath of the Dragoon.
266
00:12:04,323 --> 00:12:05,847
(LAUGHING)
267
00:12:05,925 --> 00:12:09,986
Do not worry about
the caped ape, madame.
268
00:12:10,663 --> 00:12:14,599
I have it on very good
authority that he is on vacation.
269
00:12:14,667 --> 00:12:17,500
But he's never so far gone that
he can't see where he's needed.
270
00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:18,662
(JACK SNICKERING)
271
00:12:18,738 --> 00:12:21,104
Well,
there is an old Latin proverb
272
00:12:21,173 --> 00:12:23,141
that applies
to this situation.
273
00:12:23,209 --> 00:12:24,369
It is...
274
00:12:24,443 --> 00:12:26,536
"lxnay on the Agoondray."
275
00:12:26,612 --> 00:12:27,601
What does this mean?
276
00:12:27,680 --> 00:12:29,511
The Dragoon is a crusader
for the people
277
00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:31,812
and he won't let those girls
die without a fight.
278
00:12:32,885 --> 00:12:36,616
She has been drinking
the water again, Inspector.
279
00:12:36,689 --> 00:12:38,623
Don't listen to her.
280
00:12:38,691 --> 00:12:40,955
Another criminal, huh?
281
00:12:41,026 --> 00:12:44,359
Let him come.
The more the merrier!
282
00:12:48,801 --> 00:12:50,200
What are you doing?
283
00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:52,135
Reading Croque's laws.
284
00:12:52,204 --> 00:12:54,638
Maybe I can figure out a way to
throw the book at the Inspector.
285
00:12:54,707 --> 00:12:57,107
It's about time you started
talking some sense.
286
00:12:57,176 --> 00:12:59,838
Lead with the spine and aim
for the bridge of his nose.
287
00:12:59,912 --> 00:13:01,277
Em, what gives?
288
00:13:01,347 --> 00:13:04,339
Since the first day we met, you've
been accusing me of being a Neanderthal
289
00:13:04,416 --> 00:13:06,611
who only knows how to solve
his problems with his fist.
290
00:13:06,685 --> 00:13:09,245
And since that very day,
you've portrayed me to be
291
00:13:09,321 --> 00:13:11,289
the most civilized bore
ever to threaten
292
00:13:11,357 --> 00:13:13,416
the fate of the world
through her inaction.
293
00:13:13,492 --> 00:13:15,460
Yeah, but this time
we've got the law on our side
294
00:13:15,528 --> 00:13:17,689
and I'm gonna prove to Ribette
that this here toadstool
295
00:13:17,763 --> 00:13:19,287
ain't big enough
for the both of us.
296
00:13:19,365 --> 00:13:21,890
Wake up and smell
the pond scum, Jack.
297
00:13:21,967 --> 00:13:25,403
It's time for some good old-fashioned
American strong-arm tactics.
298
00:13:25,471 --> 00:13:27,803
But we haven't even tried
the strong arm of the law.
299
00:13:27,873 --> 00:13:30,239
He is the law.
Not while I'm Governor.
300
00:13:30,309 --> 00:13:31,674
But you're not the Governor.
301
00:13:31,744 --> 00:13:33,234
I won't tell if you won't.
302
00:13:35,181 --> 00:13:36,443
(SIGHS)
303
00:13:40,219 --> 00:13:41,584
If Baldo doesn't like it,
304
00:13:41,654 --> 00:13:44,282
then Baldo can just
kiss my waxy, white lily...
305
00:13:44,356 --> 00:13:48,486
Croque, it is a fine afternoon
for a hanging, is it not?
306
00:13:48,561 --> 00:13:49,892
Inspector,
307
00:13:49,962 --> 00:13:52,726
I have decided to delay
the execution
308
00:13:52,798 --> 00:13:55,164
until we can have
a proper trial.
309
00:13:55,568 --> 00:13:57,900
Just when you
do something right,
310
00:13:57,970 --> 00:14:00,438
you open your mouth
and ruin everything!
311
00:14:00,506 --> 00:14:03,475
Inspector, I have found that
these people respond better
312
00:14:03,542 --> 00:14:05,772
to a gentle hand
than a closed fist.
313
00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:07,870
Besides,
they're just children.
314
00:14:07,947 --> 00:14:09,039
Just children?
315
00:14:09,114 --> 00:14:11,446
They are the enemies
of France!
316
00:14:11,517 --> 00:14:15,214
Let this be a lesson to whomever
taught them such horrible behavior!
317
00:14:15,287 --> 00:14:19,223
Believe me, they will get a
spanking they will never forget.
318
00:14:19,291 --> 00:14:21,088
I doubt
I will forget it, either.
319
00:14:21,160 --> 00:14:23,890
Zut alors,
this will not stand!
320
00:14:23,963 --> 00:14:26,591
Oh? I beg to differ.
321
00:14:26,665 --> 00:14:28,326
According to Article 8,
322
00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:31,426
Section 12 of
the Pulau-Pulau Constitution,
323
00:14:31,503 --> 00:14:35,269
it states that the Governor
has the sole authority to,
324
00:14:35,341 --> 00:14:36,603
and I quote,
325
00:14:36,675 --> 00:14:41,635
"Inquire into facts, apply
the law, and declare judgment."
326
00:14:41,714 --> 00:14:43,739
You fool!
327
00:14:43,816 --> 00:14:47,081
Napoleon has given me
the authority to fire you.
328
00:14:47,152 --> 00:14:49,950
Guards,
arrest the Governor at once!
329
00:14:50,022 --> 00:14:51,751
Well, I'm glad
we straightened that out.
330
00:14:51,824 --> 00:14:53,086
(GUARDS SHOUTING)
331
00:15:07,373 --> 00:15:08,738
(LAUGHS)
332
00:15:08,807 --> 00:15:10,638
This won't hurt much.
333
00:15:20,853 --> 00:15:22,548
Have you any last words?
334
00:15:23,055 --> 00:15:26,024
'Tis a far greater thing
to take the life from my body
335
00:15:26,091 --> 00:15:28,025
than the fire from my loins.
336
00:15:28,127 --> 00:15:29,287
(RAZZING)
337
00:15:29,361 --> 00:15:33,058
Not even in death will you tear
the Dragoon away from my bosom.
338
00:15:34,300 --> 00:15:37,064
Roses are red,
violets are blue,
339
00:15:37,503 --> 00:15:41,633
I hate the Governor
and Napoleon also.
340
00:15:42,574 --> 00:15:46,908
Unless the ex-Governor
has any further objections,
341
00:15:47,379 --> 00:15:49,142
let the killing begin!
342
00:16:01,160 --> 00:16:02,184
Un.
343
00:16:03,162 --> 00:16:04,254
Deux.
344
00:16:07,132 --> 00:16:09,862
Oh, it's too horrible.
What?
345
00:16:09,935 --> 00:16:13,166
I can't watch.
I think I'm going to barf.
346
00:16:13,238 --> 00:16:14,603
(GROANING)
347
00:16:16,408 --> 00:16:18,968
Yeah. Croque or no Croque,
348
00:16:19,044 --> 00:16:22,741
time for the Daring Dragoon
to kick some blowhard butt.
349
00:16:22,815 --> 00:16:24,749
EMILIA: Well, well, well.
350
00:16:26,018 --> 00:16:27,042
Ha!
351
00:16:27,119 --> 00:16:30,577
I would've RSVPed, but I
didn't wanna spoil the surprise.
352
00:16:30,923 --> 00:16:33,289
What manner
of trickery is this?
353
00:16:33,359 --> 00:16:36,260
Silly Ribette,
tricks are for kids.
354
00:16:37,963 --> 00:16:39,954
RIBETTE: Kill him!
355
00:16:44,470 --> 00:16:45,994
(LAUGHING)
356
00:16:48,140 --> 00:16:49,937
RIBETTE: You missed, fools!
357
00:16:51,110 --> 00:16:52,475
WOMAN: We knew you'd save us.
358
00:16:52,544 --> 00:16:54,205
This is no place
to hang around.
359
00:16:54,279 --> 00:16:56,440
I don't say
stupid stuff like that.
360
00:16:56,515 --> 00:16:57,743
(LAUGHING)
361
00:16:57,816 --> 00:16:58,783
Do I?
362
00:16:58,851 --> 00:17:00,011
(GRUNTS)
363
00:17:06,792 --> 00:17:08,623
How does he make
this look so easy?
364
00:17:09,261 --> 00:17:11,422
Well, don't just stand there.
Get him.
365
00:17:12,631 --> 00:17:14,496
Don't just stand there.
Help him up.
366
00:17:14,767 --> 00:17:15,893
(GROANS)
367
00:17:16,802 --> 00:17:18,235
How clumsy of me.
368
00:17:23,909 --> 00:17:25,672
(GROWLING)
369
00:17:25,911 --> 00:17:27,071
RIBETTE: Get him!
370
00:17:29,715 --> 00:17:32,013
You know what they say,
no noose is good noose.
371
00:17:32,084 --> 00:17:33,176
Oh, please.
372
00:17:34,853 --> 00:17:36,252
Run, go.
373
00:17:36,455 --> 00:17:37,683
(EXCLAIMS ANGRILY)
374
00:17:47,833 --> 00:17:50,267
Get up, get up.
Go help them.
375
00:17:50,602 --> 00:17:52,001
(GROANING)
376
00:17:52,371 --> 00:17:53,497
Oh, are you okay?
377
00:17:53,939 --> 00:17:55,463
Oh, help this man.
378
00:18:07,986 --> 00:18:11,945
Okay, to make it fair on you
guys, I'll even close my eyes.
379
00:18:15,027 --> 00:18:16,187
Down the hatch.
380
00:18:21,333 --> 00:18:22,322
(EXCLAIMS)
381
00:18:22,968 --> 00:18:23,992
(LAUGHING)
382
00:18:24,069 --> 00:18:25,969
Finally got to throw
the book at someone.
383
00:18:38,317 --> 00:18:40,308
(SCREAMING)
384
00:18:47,126 --> 00:18:50,027
Prepare yourself
for the next life, Inspector.
385
00:18:50,095 --> 00:18:51,892
Sacrebleu.
386
00:18:52,498 --> 00:18:54,693
In the name
of all that is sacred,
387
00:18:54,766 --> 00:18:57,428
save me from this
heartless criminal.
388
00:18:57,503 --> 00:19:00,961
Well, of course
I would love to help,
389
00:19:01,039 --> 00:19:04,440
but I am no longer Governor.
390
00:19:04,510 --> 00:19:06,535
You relieved me of duty.
391
00:19:07,112 --> 00:19:10,707
Save me and the job
is yours for life.
392
00:19:10,782 --> 00:19:11,771
Deal.
393
00:19:12,351 --> 00:19:15,149
What is it you want,
heathen?
394
00:19:15,354 --> 00:19:19,723
Veto the poverty tax or the
blubbering blowhard gets the shiv.
395
00:19:19,791 --> 00:19:22,851
No. That I cannot do.
396
00:19:22,928 --> 00:19:25,260
Because, you see,
a good leader
397
00:19:25,330 --> 00:19:29,027
never shows weakness
in the face of adversity.
398
00:19:29,668 --> 00:19:31,761
No deal, Dragoon.
399
00:19:32,137 --> 00:19:33,331
As you wish.
400
00:19:33,405 --> 00:19:36,238
Wait, wait. I...
401
00:19:39,611 --> 00:19:41,636
I changed my mind.
402
00:19:42,014 --> 00:19:46,713
A good leader knows
how to negotiate.
403
00:19:47,252 --> 00:19:48,310
Very well.
404
00:19:48,854 --> 00:19:53,314
As long as you promise never
to show your ugly masked face
405
00:19:53,392 --> 00:19:55,019
in these parts again.
406
00:19:55,093 --> 00:19:56,424
Not even at Mardi Gras?
407
00:19:56,495 --> 00:19:57,860
Take it or leave it.
408
00:19:59,765 --> 00:20:00,754
Very well.
409
00:20:00,832 --> 00:20:03,494
I know not to challenge a
master of tact and reason
410
00:20:03,569 --> 00:20:05,764
such as yourself, Governor.
411
00:20:06,705 --> 00:20:08,297
I'll take that.
412
00:20:08,373 --> 00:20:11,137
Now, Inspector,
413
00:20:12,010 --> 00:20:14,877
about that report.
414
00:20:24,957 --> 00:20:28,449
I'm glad to see the daughters of
the Dragoon have decided to retire.
415
00:20:28,527 --> 00:20:30,222
What on earth
did you say to them?
416
00:20:30,295 --> 00:20:32,320
Just that the old
Dragoon had things covered
417
00:20:32,397 --> 00:20:33,591
in the superhero department.
418
00:20:33,665 --> 00:20:36,691
And you'll be pleased to know the
Governor has returned very upset
419
00:20:36,768 --> 00:20:38,235
there were no diamonds
to be found,
420
00:20:38,303 --> 00:20:40,635
but happily surprised
by his new raise.
421
00:20:40,706 --> 00:20:42,196
Well, if it ain't Croque,
don't fix it.
422
00:20:42,274 --> 00:20:43,468
That's what I always say.
423
00:20:43,542 --> 00:20:46,670
Looks like force and diplomacy
can go hand in hand after a while.
424
00:20:46,745 --> 00:20:48,007
Yeah, speaking of which,
425
00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:49,945
where'd you learn
to prance around like that?
426
00:20:50,015 --> 00:20:51,812
And those lame one-liners.
Come on.
427
00:20:51,883 --> 00:20:54,044
I wonder
where I picked that up.
428
00:20:54,319 --> 00:20:55,286
But not to worry.
429
00:20:55,354 --> 00:20:58,016
I have no intention of
moving in on your territory.
430
00:20:58,090 --> 00:21:01,150
As long as you admit that
I was rather scintillating.
431
00:21:01,226 --> 00:21:02,853
Well, I will say this, baby.
432
00:21:03,729 --> 00:21:05,594
You put the "ooh" in Dragoon.
433
00:21:05,664 --> 00:21:06,961
(BOTH LAUGHING)
434
00:21:07,032 --> 00:21:09,000
All right, come on.
Give me your best shot.
435
00:21:09,067 --> 00:21:10,796
I'll hurt you.
You think you're so good.
436
00:21:10,869 --> 00:21:12,837
Are you sure? Come on,
don't hold back. Let's go.
437
00:21:12,904 --> 00:21:14,269
(GROANING)
438
00:21:14,339 --> 00:21:15,670
Take it like a man.
439
00:21:15,741 --> 00:21:17,470
Oh, like a man?
What kind of a punch was that?
440
00:21:17,542 --> 00:21:18,941
I didn't mean
"hit me" hit me.
32381
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