Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:09,275 --> 00:00:10,708
(EXCLAIMING)
2
00:00:11,211 --> 00:00:12,872
Emperor Napoleon!
3
00:00:13,146 --> 00:00:15,137
What a pleasant surprise.
4
00:00:15,582 --> 00:00:19,882
Of course. A master tactician
never heralds his arrival.
5
00:00:19,953 --> 00:00:22,649
So as to keep the less astute off guard.
6
00:00:22,756 --> 00:00:26,283
Again, I am humbled
before you, brother.
7
00:00:26,359 --> 00:00:28,327
If I had known
you were coming,
8
00:00:28,395 --> 00:00:29,726
I would have...
9
00:00:29,796 --> 00:00:32,731
Blabbed the secret to half the
people between here and Paris?
10
00:00:33,533 --> 00:00:36,195
That nag Josephine
mustn't know I'm here.
11
00:00:36,269 --> 00:00:37,600
(SNARLING)
12
00:00:38,738 --> 00:00:41,502
How is the lovely Empress?
13
00:00:43,710 --> 00:00:45,541
Soon to be former Empress.
14
00:00:45,612 --> 00:00:47,603
Try as I have
to harvest her loins,
15
00:00:47,680 --> 00:00:49,671
she has still yet to bear me
an heir.
16
00:00:50,016 --> 00:00:51,984
But my dear brother,
17
00:00:52,052 --> 00:00:55,749
if, God forbid, something
should happen to you,
18
00:00:55,822 --> 00:00:59,155
like an elephant
mistaking you for a peanut,
19
00:00:59,225 --> 00:01:02,388
I would be happy to assume
the duties of Emperor.
20
00:01:02,462 --> 00:01:03,520
You?
21
00:01:10,537 --> 00:01:13,062
There, there, little brother. Noogie?
22
00:01:19,646 --> 00:01:20,874
Enough!
23
00:01:21,347 --> 00:01:24,407
The time has come to find me
a fertile young bride.
24
00:01:24,484 --> 00:01:28,352
Assemble all the reow-reows
on the island. At once!
25
00:01:29,823 --> 00:01:30,915
Legs!
26
00:01:39,299 --> 00:01:40,459
Too hard.
27
00:01:43,436 --> 00:01:44,733
Too soft.
28
00:01:47,407 --> 00:01:48,965
(MOANING APPRECIATIVELY)
29
00:01:49,042 --> 00:01:50,441
Just right.
30
00:01:53,947 --> 00:01:54,936
Up!
31
00:02:00,386 --> 00:02:01,478
Open.
32
00:02:03,623 --> 00:02:05,887
No, no, no!
They're all wrong.
33
00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:10,396
Governor Croque, there seems to be
some mix-up with my exporting license.
34
00:02:10,930 --> 00:02:14,627
With all due respect, whatever's
going on here, I don't approve.
35
00:02:14,701 --> 00:02:16,498
Unless I was invited.
36
00:02:16,569 --> 00:02:18,332
(NAPOLEON CLEARS THROAT)
37
00:02:19,873 --> 00:02:20,965
(GASPS)
38
00:02:21,040 --> 00:02:25,568
Emperor, do you remember
Madame Emilia Rothschild
39
00:02:25,645 --> 00:02:28,580
and her attaché,
Monsieur Jack Stiles?
40
00:02:29,949 --> 00:02:31,439
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
41
00:02:38,224 --> 00:02:39,213
Oh!
42
00:02:41,494 --> 00:02:43,257
Congratulations, Emilia.
43
00:02:43,329 --> 00:02:45,695
You have won the honor
of becoming my new bride.
44
00:02:45,765 --> 00:02:47,027
(GASPING)
45
00:02:52,071 --> 00:02:56,440
(SINGING) In 1801,
the Revolution had been won
46
00:02:56,509 --> 00:02:58,636
And Uncle Sam's favorite son
47
00:02:58,711 --> 00:03:00,474
Had a job he needed done
48
00:03:00,547 --> 00:03:02,447
Which brought Jack to a lady
49
00:03:02,515 --> 00:03:04,449
Both beautiful and smart
50
00:03:04,517 --> 00:03:06,451
Who found his mix intriguing
51
00:03:06,519 --> 00:03:08,453
A scoundrel with a heart!
52
00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:14,387
From the Halls of Montezuma
53
00:03:14,460 --> 00:03:16,121
To the shores of Tripoli
54
00:03:16,196 --> 00:03:18,460
There was never
a leatherneck braver
55
00:03:18,531 --> 00:03:20,192
A daring dragoon is he!
56
00:03:20,266 --> 00:03:22,131
He'll halt the bold advance
57
00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:24,227
Of Napoleon's attack
58
00:03:24,304 --> 00:03:26,534
There ain't a French
or pirate rogue
59
00:03:26,606 --> 00:03:29,234
Who don't know Jack!
60
00:03:30,143 --> 00:03:32,338
From the Halls of Montezuma
61
00:03:32,412 --> 00:03:34,141
To the shores of Tripoli
62
00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:36,478
Sailin' 'round
the bloody world
63
00:03:36,549 --> 00:03:38,107
To defend democracy
64
00:03:38,184 --> 00:03:40,345
And when ya need
a fightin' man
65
00:03:40,420 --> 00:03:42,149
To trust or watch your back
66
00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:44,486
Just ask the bloke
right next to ya
67
00:03:44,557 --> 00:03:45,581
Damn right!
68
00:03:45,658 --> 00:03:47,285
It's Jack!
69
00:03:50,930 --> 00:03:53,592
Brother, say hello
to your new sister-in-law.
70
00:03:54,701 --> 00:03:55,861
Hello.
71
00:03:56,035 --> 00:03:58,833
On second thought,
let me say hello first.
72
00:04:00,673 --> 00:04:01,867
Oh la la!
73
00:04:01,941 --> 00:04:06,344
I will have fun taming you like
the sexy, savage beast that you are.
74
00:04:06,412 --> 00:04:09,176
Will you, now?
And if I refuse?
75
00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:11,717
You are English, madame,
are you not?
76
00:04:11,784 --> 00:04:13,479
And proud of it,
Your Highness.
77
00:04:13,553 --> 00:04:15,487
When I return to France,
78
00:04:15,555 --> 00:04:20,049
I will soil the peace treaty between
our two countries like a poopy diaper.
79
00:04:20,126 --> 00:04:22,651
My armies will cross
the English Channel
80
00:04:22,729 --> 00:04:25,391
and leave nothing in England
but Stonehenge.
81
00:04:26,032 --> 00:04:27,056
Or
82
00:04:28,034 --> 00:04:29,331
you could love me.
83
00:04:35,608 --> 00:04:38,600
How can I say yes without
the benefit of a first date?
84
00:04:38,678 --> 00:04:41,511
Very well.
Dinner tonight.
85
00:04:43,516 --> 00:04:44,540
And for dessert,
86
00:04:45,818 --> 00:04:46,842
I shall have you.
87
00:04:48,855 --> 00:04:51,415
Now, don't give me any beak
about this, Jean-Claude.
88
00:04:51,491 --> 00:04:52,685
You're going to get her.
89
00:04:52,759 --> 00:04:54,317
Besides,
you should be thanking me.
90
00:04:54,394 --> 00:04:56,157
Paris is known
for its hot chicks.
91
00:04:56,229 --> 00:04:58,823
Well, barnyard birds
are not my type, Jacques.
92
00:04:58,898 --> 00:05:01,298
But I will nonetheless
carry out the mission.
93
00:05:01,367 --> 00:05:02,459
Vive la résistance!
94
00:05:03,036 --> 00:05:05,231
What is your business,
Jack?
95
00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:08,797
Croque, my boy,
I want to gab with you
96
00:05:08,875 --> 00:05:12,709
about something
that's kind of important.
97
00:05:13,212 --> 00:05:15,339
What is it
you are proposing?
98
00:05:15,648 --> 00:05:16,910
Marriage.
99
00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:18,447
Monsieur Stiles, I hardly...
100
00:05:18,518 --> 00:05:21,282
Stopping a marriage.
Between Napoleon and Emilia.
101
00:05:21,354 --> 00:05:22,343
(SHUSHING)
102
00:05:22,689 --> 00:05:26,352
For such talk I could
have you executed at once!
103
00:05:26,426 --> 00:05:28,291
Well, you could, sure.
104
00:05:28,361 --> 00:05:31,421
But, then again,
you'd never become emperor.
105
00:05:32,465 --> 00:05:35,332
It is true,
I want to be emperor.
106
00:05:35,401 --> 00:05:37,198
Is that so terrible?
107
00:05:37,503 --> 00:05:41,303
I want a queen and a crown
and a castle.
108
00:05:41,374 --> 00:05:42,602
Is that so terrible?
109
00:05:42,675 --> 00:05:45,075
All right, don't get
your girdle in a twist, Guvvy.
110
00:05:45,144 --> 00:05:48,545
I think I've found a way to stop this
unholy matrimony before it's too late.
111
00:05:48,614 --> 00:05:49,706
But how?
112
00:05:49,782 --> 00:05:52,979
I granted Napoleon his divorce
from Josephine this morning.
113
00:05:53,052 --> 00:05:55,418
Of course, it is only legal
in Palau-Palau.
114
00:05:55,488 --> 00:05:57,956
All we have to do is delay
this marriage a little bit,
115
00:05:58,024 --> 00:06:00,549
and I'll handle the rest.
Deal?
116
00:06:01,728 --> 00:06:04,595
All right,
my little American monkey,
117
00:06:04,664 --> 00:06:06,222
we have a deal.
118
00:06:06,532 --> 00:06:09,763
But tell me, how are we going
to stall Napoleon?
119
00:06:09,869 --> 00:06:13,703
No man has ever managed to
dissuade my brother from his course.
120
00:06:13,873 --> 00:06:15,363
No man, eh?
121
00:06:15,908 --> 00:06:17,170
(CHUCKLING)
122
00:06:25,318 --> 00:06:27,786
(FARTING)
123
00:06:35,762 --> 00:06:37,525
(FARTING)
124
00:06:42,802 --> 00:06:44,895
Charming, Your Flatulence.
125
00:06:48,508 --> 00:06:50,373
Now, time for dessert.
126
00:06:53,946 --> 00:06:55,243
(GASPING)
127
00:07:00,787 --> 00:07:03,881
Before we go any further,
promise to behave.
128
00:07:04,824 --> 00:07:06,155
I promise.
129
00:07:11,030 --> 00:07:12,895
And now, to the point.
130
00:07:14,667 --> 00:07:16,328
You will marry me.
131
00:07:19,205 --> 00:07:22,834
Perhaps a more
romantic proposition.
132
00:07:22,909 --> 00:07:24,501
You want romance?
133
00:07:26,846 --> 00:07:28,438
This is England.
134
00:07:28,614 --> 00:07:31,412
Die, England, die,
England! Die, die, die!
135
00:07:33,886 --> 00:07:36,081
Brilliant plan, huh,
my sweet?
136
00:07:36,289 --> 00:07:37,916
Now, what is your choice?
137
00:07:37,990 --> 00:07:40,618
Your hand
or your country?
138
00:07:43,062 --> 00:07:44,689
(SIGHING)
139
00:07:44,831 --> 00:07:47,391
My hand. I accept.
140
00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:48,957
JACK: Emilia!
141
00:07:50,203 --> 00:07:51,295
Oh!
142
00:07:53,072 --> 00:07:56,200
I am so pleased!
143
00:07:56,509 --> 00:07:57,942
(JACK CHUCKLING)
144
00:07:59,445 --> 00:08:01,276
Oh, my God!
Who is this?
145
00:08:01,347 --> 00:08:02,871
I'm your new mother-in-law.
146
00:08:02,949 --> 00:08:06,851
So nice to have you
in the family, son.
147
00:08:07,153 --> 00:08:08,882
(LAUGHING)
148
00:08:09,355 --> 00:08:10,845
Are you clinically insane?
149
00:08:10,923 --> 00:08:12,117
(CLUCKING)
150
00:08:12,191 --> 00:08:16,287
Wouldn't want to share our family
secrets with everyone, now, would we?
151
00:08:17,063 --> 00:08:20,897
Em, aren't you going
to introduce us?
152
00:08:22,235 --> 00:08:25,500
Napoleon Bonaparte,
meet my mother.
153
00:08:25,571 --> 00:08:27,664
Sacrebleu. Impossible!
154
00:08:27,740 --> 00:08:31,767
Oh, you are such a charming
little fellow.
155
00:08:31,844 --> 00:08:36,042
I could just put you
on a stick and eat you!
156
00:08:36,115 --> 00:08:39,448
Oh, Mummy, thank you
so much for the visit.
157
00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:41,146
Don't forget to take
your medication.
158
00:08:41,220 --> 00:08:43,654
Leave now?
Oh, you must be joking.
159
00:08:44,423 --> 00:08:46,118
What kind of mother
would I be
160
00:08:46,192 --> 00:08:48,820
if I were to miss
this blessed event?
161
00:08:49,328 --> 00:08:53,924
Besides, I haven't spent enough
time with this charming little man.
162
00:08:55,368 --> 00:08:58,735
Now then, tell me,
do you have a good job?
163
00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:01,029
I'm the Emperor of France.
164
00:09:01,107 --> 00:09:03,632
Oh? Does that pay well?
165
00:09:03,709 --> 00:09:06,269
I have priceless treasures,
palaces.
166
00:09:06,345 --> 00:09:08,905
Oh, goody! Then there's
plenty of room for me.
167
00:09:08,981 --> 00:09:10,039
Quoi?
168
00:09:10,116 --> 00:09:12,812
Well, you know the
old saying, don't you?
169
00:09:12,885 --> 00:09:17,652
You don't just marry a woman,
you marry her family, too.
170
00:09:17,757 --> 00:09:21,454
Actually, it's one palace.
Very, very small.
171
00:09:21,527 --> 00:09:23,995
Oh, coziness!
172
00:09:24,063 --> 00:09:27,123
Then I shall sleep
between my beautiful daughter
173
00:09:27,199 --> 00:09:29,497
and my beautiful new son.
174
00:09:30,102 --> 00:09:32,832
No peeking
while I'm sleeping.
175
00:09:32,905 --> 00:09:35,533
I would rather peek
into Satan's toilet, madame.
176
00:09:35,608 --> 00:09:37,872
(CHUCKLING) Oh, please,
177
00:09:37,944 --> 00:09:38,933
call me Jack
178
00:09:39,779 --> 00:09:40,803
...queline.
179
00:09:46,552 --> 00:09:49,487
Emilia,
I've been worried sick.
180
00:09:49,555 --> 00:09:51,887
It's way past your curfew.
181
00:09:51,958 --> 00:09:54,222
Oh, ha-ha. Thank you for
the amusing charade, Jack.
182
00:09:54,293 --> 00:09:57,160
But if you wanted to wear my
clothes, all you had to do was ask.
183
00:09:57,229 --> 00:09:59,459
You know, in case you haven't
noticed, I'm trying to help.
184
00:09:59,532 --> 00:10:01,295
Oh, I'm sorry. You call
this helping, do you?
185
00:10:01,367 --> 00:10:02,800
Yeah. Nothing scares a man away
186
00:10:02,868 --> 00:10:04,802
like the sight
of his new mother-in-law.
187
00:10:04,870 --> 00:10:07,634
How foolish of me to count
on you to respect my decision.
188
00:10:07,974 --> 00:10:10,636
Well, you're actually thinking of
going through with this, aren't you?
189
00:10:10,710 --> 00:10:12,200
What better way
to change the world
190
00:10:12,278 --> 00:10:14,473
than to partner with the most
powerful man living in it?
191
00:10:15,548 --> 00:10:17,709
See, you're assuming
you can change him,
192
00:10:17,783 --> 00:10:20,843
which is the second most popular myth
afflicting your particular gender.
193
00:10:20,920 --> 00:10:22,751
Oh. And dare I ask
what the first is?
194
00:10:22,822 --> 00:10:24,983
Oh, I'll give you the long and
short of it one day, sister.
195
00:10:25,057 --> 00:10:27,992
But for right now, I can't let
you marry that little pipsqueak.
196
00:10:28,060 --> 00:10:30,051
That costume really has
gone to your head, Jack.
197
00:10:30,129 --> 00:10:31,391
I'll marry
whomever I want,
198
00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:33,329
with or without
your permission.
199
00:10:33,399 --> 00:10:37,165
Oh, but Emilia, for the love of
God, think of your wedding night.
200
00:10:37,236 --> 00:10:41,536
Napoleon will be like a gopher at a
golf course, in and out of every hole.
201
00:10:41,607 --> 00:10:45,543
That's it. Don't bother attending the
wedding, Jack, because you're not invited.
202
00:10:45,611 --> 00:10:46,942
Fine.
Fine!
203
00:10:47,013 --> 00:10:50,676
Yeah, have fun on your honeymoon
playing "Hide the Emperor."
204
00:10:50,750 --> 00:10:51,978
(EXCLAIMS IN ANGER)
205
00:10:55,554 --> 00:10:57,249
Brilliant plan, Jack.
206
00:10:57,323 --> 00:10:59,348
You look exquisite.
207
00:10:59,425 --> 00:11:01,325
And Napoleon
cannot stand you.
208
00:11:01,394 --> 00:11:02,827
Good. So, he's gonna
call off the wedding?
209
00:11:02,895 --> 00:11:04,123
No. As soon as
he says "I do,"
210
00:11:04,196 --> 00:11:06,323
he intends locking you
in the bastille.
211
00:11:06,399 --> 00:11:09,493
Not to worry, though. I will
visit you from time to time.
212
00:11:09,568 --> 00:11:11,502
Yeah, so much for plan A.
213
00:11:12,638 --> 00:11:14,799
Who is responsible
for this outrage?
214
00:11:14,874 --> 00:11:18,207
Oh, I picked out everything,
Your Royalness.
215
00:11:18,277 --> 00:11:21,246
Oh, don't you look
handsome?
216
00:11:21,313 --> 00:11:22,371
Huh?
217
00:11:23,082 --> 00:11:25,277
It's up for a hug.
Here we go.
218
00:11:25,351 --> 00:11:26,477
(GRUNTING)
219
00:11:26,552 --> 00:11:27,712
(SNEEZING)
220
00:11:27,787 --> 00:11:29,049
Oh, Nappy, what is it?
221
00:11:29,121 --> 00:11:30,452
The flowers.
222
00:11:30,523 --> 00:11:33,117
Roses! Yes, my favorite.
Have a sniff.
223
00:11:33,192 --> 00:11:35,456
(COUGHING)
I'm allergic to roses.
224
00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:37,621
Perhaps the music will
take your mind off it.
225
00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:40,791
(ACCORDION PLAYING
HAVA NAGILA)
226
00:11:42,468 --> 00:11:43,560
(NAPOLEON GROANING)
227
00:11:43,636 --> 00:11:45,604
You simply must try
the cakes.
228
00:11:45,671 --> 00:11:48,231
They're so light
and fluffy. Eat, eat.
229
00:11:48,307 --> 00:11:50,798
(CHOKING)
Oh, you're skin and bones.
230
00:11:50,876 --> 00:11:53,344
Enough!
This is terrible!
231
00:11:53,412 --> 00:11:55,744
I could not agree more,
brother.
232
00:11:56,582 --> 00:11:59,608
It is a scandal.
233
00:12:00,686 --> 00:12:05,020
Postpone the wedding. All
this must be redone at once.
234
00:12:05,091 --> 00:12:07,116
No! I can't wait.
235
00:12:07,193 --> 00:12:10,959
There must be some place on this
godforsaken island where I can get married.
236
00:12:12,031 --> 00:12:14,727
I know a nice little chapel, Emperor.
237
00:12:14,800 --> 00:12:15,892
Fine.
238
00:12:17,503 --> 00:12:19,232
Off with his hands!
239
00:12:19,338 --> 00:12:21,238
Valiant effort, Jack.
240
00:12:21,540 --> 00:12:23,838
But I will visit you
from time to time.
241
00:12:23,909 --> 00:12:26,104
Don't you give up
just yet, Croque.
242
00:12:26,178 --> 00:12:29,045
You're forgetting a pre-ball-and-chain
time-honored tradition
243
00:12:29,115 --> 00:12:31,845
known as
the bachelor party.
244
00:12:32,118 --> 00:12:34,450
(PEOPLE SHOUTING)
Nap! Nap! Nap! Nap!
245
00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:35,953
Nap! Nap! Nap!
246
00:12:36,021 --> 00:12:38,489
Nap! Nap! Nap!
Nap! Nap!
247
00:12:38,557 --> 00:12:40,457
(PEOPLE CHEERING
AND WHISTLING)
248
00:12:43,229 --> 00:12:45,094
This is all
well and good, Jacques,
249
00:12:45,164 --> 00:12:47,223
but how is it going
to stall the wedding?
250
00:12:47,299 --> 00:12:49,358
Don't you worry about
a thing, Croquemeister.
251
00:12:49,435 --> 00:12:50,959
I got a little surprise
for Napoleon
252
00:12:51,036 --> 00:12:52,970
that's gonna keep him
busy for weeks.
253
00:12:53,038 --> 00:12:54,801
Profiterole?
No.
254
00:12:55,741 --> 00:12:57,368
All right, all right.
255
00:12:57,476 --> 00:13:01,503
And now, direct
from the Kitty Kat Saloon,
256
00:13:01,580 --> 00:13:04,014
I give you Candy
257
00:13:04,216 --> 00:13:06,081
and Bubbles!
258
00:13:06,152 --> 00:13:07,642
(MEN CHEERING)
259
00:13:08,320 --> 00:13:11,289
(ALL WHOOPING)
260
00:13:22,668 --> 00:13:23,930
(WHISTLES)
261
00:13:24,336 --> 00:13:26,327
Enjoy it
while you can, Leon.
262
00:13:26,405 --> 00:13:28,566
Let's just say Emilia's idea
of a good time in bed
263
00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:30,506
is a pajama party
and a pillow fight.
264
00:13:32,745 --> 00:13:34,474
Knock yourself out.
265
00:13:34,747 --> 00:13:36,078
All right.
266
00:13:38,317 --> 00:13:39,579
(WHOOPING)
267
00:13:49,061 --> 00:13:50,858
Vive la France!
Ooh!
268
00:13:59,839 --> 00:14:01,773
(BURPING)
How're you guys?
269
00:14:04,043 --> 00:14:05,670
(ROOSTER CROWING)
270
00:14:09,348 --> 00:14:10,906
(GRUNTING)
271
00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:16,048
Oh, my head.
272
00:14:18,557 --> 00:14:22,721
Gee, Nappy, when it comes to other
men, you really are a bone apart.
273
00:14:22,795 --> 00:14:23,887
Yeah.
274
00:14:24,530 --> 00:14:25,724
What do you say?
275
00:14:25,798 --> 00:14:28,767
Want to storm the bastille
walls one more time?
276
00:14:28,834 --> 00:14:30,028
(COOING)
277
00:14:32,238 --> 00:14:35,469
Ladies, please!
I'm late for my wedding!
278
00:14:36,242 --> 00:14:37,470
(GRUNTS)
279
00:14:38,911 --> 00:14:40,242
(GROANING)
280
00:14:45,584 --> 00:14:47,279
(PEOPLE MURMURING)
281
00:14:50,489 --> 00:14:52,457
(PEOPLE EXCLAIMING)
282
00:14:59,732 --> 00:15:03,463
The man has the constitution
of a horse. We are finished!
283
00:15:03,535 --> 00:15:06,834
You just get back up to
that altar and keep stalling.
284
00:15:08,540 --> 00:15:11,805
(PLAYING BRIDAL MARCH)
285
00:15:12,945 --> 00:15:14,572
(PEOPLE GASPING)
286
00:15:21,820 --> 00:15:23,549
(RETCHING)
287
00:15:29,962 --> 00:15:34,729
To some, marriage is like
a morning sunrise
288
00:15:34,800 --> 00:15:38,668
which reflects the dawning
of a brand-new day.
289
00:15:39,638 --> 00:15:43,165
To others,
it is like a red-hot poker
290
00:15:43,242 --> 00:15:46,336
shoved, without remorse,
up the wazoo.
291
00:15:49,648 --> 00:15:53,084
Oh, I can't stand it
any longer!
292
00:15:53,152 --> 00:15:54,619
It's all too beautiful!
293
00:15:54,987 --> 00:15:58,150
Oh, do carry on.
I just need some air.
294
00:16:04,396 --> 00:16:05,795
Where was I?
295
00:16:09,635 --> 00:16:11,068
(PRIEST CLEARING THROAT)
296
00:16:11,136 --> 00:16:14,731
What have you
to confess, my... son?
297
00:16:16,308 --> 00:16:17,935
You wanna start
in alphabetical order,
298
00:16:18,010 --> 00:16:19,500
or would you prefer
to go by year?
299
00:16:19,578 --> 00:16:21,307
CROQUE: Dearly beloved,
300
00:16:21,380 --> 00:16:25,111
we are gathered here today
to join
301
00:16:25,184 --> 00:16:29,484
this man and this woman
in holy matrimony.
302
00:16:29,555 --> 00:16:32,251
Mon Dieu,
I must settle my stomach.
303
00:16:38,163 --> 00:16:41,360
Oh, cut me a little slack,
Padre. I had soap in my eyes.
304
00:16:41,433 --> 00:16:43,901
I can't be blamed for stumbling
into the women's locker room.
305
00:16:43,969 --> 00:16:47,302
Well, I suppose if you
didn't actually see anything.
306
00:16:47,373 --> 00:16:48,738
No harm done, eh?
307
00:16:48,807 --> 00:16:50,035
Not a thing.
308
00:16:50,109 --> 00:16:53,044
I felt my way out of there like
a blind Sherpa in the Himalayas.
309
00:16:53,112 --> 00:16:54,670
If we could, my son,
310
00:16:54,747 --> 00:16:58,114
let us return to the issue
of your chronic tennis elbow.
311
00:16:58,183 --> 00:17:00,913
Yeah, it's weird, huh?
I don't even play.
312
00:17:01,453 --> 00:17:04,081
If there is any person
here present,
313
00:17:04,156 --> 00:17:07,922
who has just cause
why this man and this woman
314
00:17:07,993 --> 00:17:10,860
should not be
joined together,
315
00:17:10,929 --> 00:17:15,093
speak now, or forever hold your peace!
316
00:17:15,467 --> 00:17:16,991
That's my cue, Padre.
317
00:17:17,069 --> 00:17:19,401
Thanks for the holy chit-chat.
I'm a new man.
318
00:17:23,075 --> 00:17:26,272
Napoleon, do you take this...
319
00:17:26,345 --> 00:17:27,437
I do!
320
00:17:29,281 --> 00:17:30,475
Emilia,
321
00:17:30,983 --> 00:17:32,007
(COUGHING)
322
00:17:32,084 --> 00:17:36,248
Do you take this man to be
your lawful wedded conqueror?
323
00:17:36,989 --> 00:17:41,255
In pillage and in plunder?
To burn and destroy with?
324
00:17:42,327 --> 00:17:45,785
Till death do you part?
325
00:17:48,500 --> 00:17:49,558
I...
326
00:17:53,539 --> 00:17:54,665
I...
327
00:17:54,740 --> 00:17:57,834
I'll answer that.
Hell, no, daddy-o.
328
00:17:57,910 --> 00:18:00,140
The Daring Dragoon.
We meet again.
329
00:18:00,212 --> 00:18:02,737
Sorry I'm late, I couldn't
find a place to park.
330
00:18:02,815 --> 00:18:04,180
Valet's out front.
331
00:18:04,249 --> 00:18:06,149
Well, what can I say?
I'm a little short.
332
00:18:06,218 --> 00:18:07,617
You soon will be.
333
00:18:11,290 --> 00:18:12,552
Outside.
334
00:18:17,429 --> 00:18:19,021
(EXCLAIMING)
335
00:18:36,982 --> 00:18:38,006
My turn.
336
00:18:40,319 --> 00:18:43,311
You want an heir so bad,
why not try adoption?
337
00:18:43,689 --> 00:18:46,214
I did, but they turned down
my application.
338
00:18:46,291 --> 00:18:48,156
Really?
The Emperor of France?
339
00:18:48,227 --> 00:18:51,094
Yeah. They said I was unbalanced,
so I had them executed.
340
00:18:51,864 --> 00:18:54,059
Yeah, I can see how
that might put them off.
341
00:19:02,074 --> 00:19:03,564
JACK: Where are you?
342
00:19:03,642 --> 00:19:04,631
(EXCLAIMS)
343
00:19:08,347 --> 00:19:09,541
(CLEARS THROAT)
344
00:19:09,681 --> 00:19:11,148
(PEOPLE EXCLAIMING)
345
00:19:22,494 --> 00:19:25,292
Why you!
See how you like it.
346
00:19:30,903 --> 00:19:33,133
(COUGHING)
All right, say uncle!
347
00:19:33,472 --> 00:19:35,133
Aunt.
Uncle!
348
00:19:35,274 --> 00:19:37,037
Uncle! Uncle! Uncle!
349
00:19:42,681 --> 00:19:45,445
Napoleon!
350
00:19:46,585 --> 00:19:48,143
Josephine!
351
00:19:48,320 --> 00:19:50,345
If you have any mercy
at all, monsieur,
352
00:19:50,422 --> 00:19:51,753
please strike me down.
353
00:19:51,823 --> 00:19:54,758
Sorry, Leon. You made your own
bed, now you gotta lie in it.
354
00:19:54,826 --> 00:19:57,693
I'll never forget this.
You'll pay someday.
355
00:19:57,763 --> 00:20:00,129
(LAUGHING)
Not as much as you will.
356
00:20:00,199 --> 00:20:01,928
What are you
doing here?
357
00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:04,230
You have chores
back at the palace.
358
00:20:04,303 --> 00:20:08,399
Who is going to cut the bunions
from my feet or wax my back?
359
00:20:08,473 --> 00:20:10,236
(PEOPLE EXCLAIMING)
360
00:20:10,542 --> 00:20:13,807
And you promised me a new
country for my birthday!
361
00:20:15,881 --> 00:20:17,849
The Dragoon!
The Dragoon!
362
00:20:19,818 --> 00:20:21,342
Emilia, my dear.
363
00:20:21,420 --> 00:20:23,149
I want to be alone.
364
00:20:30,829 --> 00:20:31,921
(BOTH CHUCKLING)
365
00:20:31,997 --> 00:20:34,158
I'm sorry
I crashed your wedding, Em.
366
00:20:34,233 --> 00:20:36,997
You did what you thought
you had to do, and so did I.
367
00:20:37,069 --> 00:20:38,559
I would have gone
through with it, you know.
368
00:20:38,637 --> 00:20:39,661
Yeah, I know.
369
00:20:39,738 --> 00:20:41,729
You are one committed
freedom fighter.
370
00:20:41,807 --> 00:20:43,172
Which is why you're lucky
to have me,
371
00:20:43,242 --> 00:20:44,709
so I can save you
from yourself.
372
00:20:44,776 --> 00:20:46,801
Oh, perhaps
just this once.
373
00:20:46,878 --> 00:20:50,370
It's difficult to know where duty to
country ends and duty to self begins.
374
00:20:50,449 --> 00:20:52,076
Yeah? How about right now?
375
00:20:52,150 --> 00:20:53,640
(GASPS) Oh!
376
00:20:53,719 --> 00:20:55,778
There's enough champagne
left over to last a month.
377
00:20:55,854 --> 00:20:57,048
(WHOOPS)
378
00:20:57,122 --> 00:20:58,350
A shame
to let it go to waste.
379
00:20:58,423 --> 00:20:59,651
Indeed.
380
00:21:04,162 --> 00:21:06,221
To a lovely bride.
381
00:21:06,298 --> 00:21:09,096
And her best man.
Well, a pretty good one.
382
00:21:15,307 --> 00:21:16,501
Pretty good, huh?
383
00:21:16,575 --> 00:21:17,769
(BURPS)
27469
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof