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[ horse whinnies ]
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00:00:05,886 --> 00:00:07,428
Narrator:
♪ way back in days of old ♪
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00:00:07,428 --> 00:00:09,050
♪ there was a legend told ♪
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00:00:09,050 --> 00:00:13,474
♪ about a hero
Known as galavant ♪
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♪ square jaw
And perfect hair ♪
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♪ cojones out to there ♪
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♪ there was no hero
Quite like galavant ♪
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00:00:20,231 --> 00:00:24,065
♪ tough, plus every
Other manly value ♪
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00:00:24,065 --> 00:00:27,448
♪ mess with him,
He'll disembowel you ♪
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00:00:27,448 --> 00:00:29,650
♪ yay, he ruled
In every way ♪
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♪ a fairy-tale cliché ♪
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00:00:31,452 --> 00:00:34,325
♪ and people called him
Galavant ♪
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[ horse neighs ]
[ cheering ]
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00:00:36,957 --> 00:00:39,120
Man: there he is!
15
00:00:41,162 --> 00:00:44,545
♪ the man we're speaking of,
He had a lady love ♪
16
00:00:44,545 --> 00:00:47,758
♪ and madalena,
She was one fair maiden ♪
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00:00:47,758 --> 00:00:49,550
♪ long legs and perfect skin ♪
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00:00:49,550 --> 00:00:51,132
♪ a body built for sin ♪
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00:00:51,132 --> 00:00:54,435
♪ with cleavage you could hold
A whole parade in ♪
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00:00:54,435 --> 00:00:57,848
♪ ah, true love was never
This ecstatic ♪
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♪ nor as wildly acrobatic ♪
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♪ yes, he loved her to excess ♪
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00:01:03,524 --> 00:01:04,855
♪ thrice daily,
More or less ♪
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♪ and she'd be screaming ♪
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00:01:05,856 --> 00:01:09,190
♪ galavant! ♪
26
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[ laughs ]
27
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♪ one tiny problem ♪
Look.
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00:01:13,614 --> 00:01:14,785
[ chuckling ]
29
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♪ soon would arise ♪
[ squealing ]
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♪ richard, a nearby king
Of wealth and stature ♪
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00:01:24,545 --> 00:01:31,212
♪ he watched madalena,
Lust in his eyes ♪
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♪ and he asked her
For her hand ♪
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♪ well, more like a demand ♪
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00:01:35,476 --> 00:01:38,018
♪ well, more like had
His henchmen snatch her ♪
No!
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00:01:38,018 --> 00:01:39,520
Galavant, help!
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00:01:39,520 --> 00:01:42,143
♪ which brings us to today ♪
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♪ the royal wedding day ♪
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♪ no one can stop it now
But galavant ♪
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00:01:47,188 --> 00:01:50,321
♪ poor madalena waits
Behind king richard's gates ♪
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00:01:50,321 --> 00:01:53,614
♪ for the arrival
Of her galavant ♪
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00:01:53,614 --> 00:01:56,497
♪ now, at last begins
Our true adventure ♪
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00:01:56,497 --> 00:02:00,541
♪ epic, wild,
A real butt-clencher! ♪
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00:02:00,541 --> 00:02:02,953
♪ so, huzzah and tally ho! ♪
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♪ sit back and here we go ♪
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♪ attend the tale of ♪
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♪ galava-a-a-a-nt! ♪
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00:02:15,846 --> 00:02:19,059
Is everything all right...
My princess?
48
00:02:19,059 --> 00:02:20,431
Yes, my king.
49
00:02:20,431 --> 00:02:22,933
[ chuckling ]
I should think so.
50
00:02:22,933 --> 00:02:24,725
In a few moments,
We shall marry,
51
00:02:24,725 --> 00:02:26,977
And you will instantly
Become the richest,
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00:02:26,977 --> 00:02:28,729
Most powerful woman
In the land.
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00:02:28,729 --> 00:02:31,982
Yes, my king.
Very exciting.
54
00:02:31,982 --> 00:02:34,575
And then...Tonight...
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You will join me
In my bed.
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Yes, my king.
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00:02:38,949 --> 00:02:41,161
We're going to do it!
[ snaps fingers ]
58
00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:43,954
Yes.
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00:02:43,954 --> 00:02:45,336
We're not going to just sit
In bed and open gifts
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00:02:45,336 --> 00:02:47,167
And talk about how much fun
The wedding was, okay?
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00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:49,089
We're...Doing...It.
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00:02:49,089 --> 00:02:50,211
Yep.
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00:02:50,211 --> 00:02:52,172
My lady.
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00:02:55,506 --> 00:02:56,927
I mean, of course, we're
Going to open some presents,
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00:02:56,927 --> 00:02:58,639
But then we're going to do it.
Got it.
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00:03:03,264 --> 00:03:04,855
Ohh!
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Ugh!
68
00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:10,401
Ohh! Aah!
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00:03:10,401 --> 00:03:11,942
Aah!
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00:03:13,864 --> 00:03:17,658
♪ by all the stars above,
I'll save my one true love ♪
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00:03:17,658 --> 00:03:19,280
Hey, look!
Oh, wow! It's him!
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Both: ♪ it's gala-- ♪
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[ both groan ]
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00:03:21,412 --> 00:03:24,034
[ grunts ]
[ grunts ]
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00:03:24,034 --> 00:03:27,668
[ groans ]
♪ I shall not be denied
Until she's by my side ♪
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00:03:27,668 --> 00:03:29,039
I suggest you fall.
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00:03:29,039 --> 00:03:30,831
[ moans ]
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00:03:30,831 --> 00:03:32,923
Thanks!
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00:03:32,923 --> 00:03:35,926
And so, on this glorious day,
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00:03:35,926 --> 00:03:39,510
We celebrate the union
Of our greatest king!
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00:03:39,510 --> 00:03:42,142
Galavant:
So sorry to interrupt.
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00:03:45,646 --> 00:03:47,518
My lady.
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00:03:47,518 --> 00:03:50,311
All right, all right.
[ chuckling ] Hold on.
84
00:03:50,311 --> 00:03:53,314
Now, gareth and I could surely
Fight all night to an even draw,
85
00:03:53,314 --> 00:03:54,985
If that's what you want.
86
00:03:54,985 --> 00:03:56,987
Hell, you can even send
All your men to help him,
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00:03:56,987 --> 00:03:58,409
If you so desire.
88
00:03:58,409 --> 00:04:01,702
But I'll fend them all off.
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00:04:01,702 --> 00:04:03,163
'cause here's the thing.
90
00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:09,129
I love her, richard.
91
00:04:09,129 --> 00:04:11,502
She's the first thing
I think of in the morning
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00:04:11,502 --> 00:04:14,044
And the last thing I think of
In the eve.
93
00:04:14,044 --> 00:04:16,337
And you can offer her
Great fame,
94
00:04:16,337 --> 00:04:18,799
And you can
Offer her great fortune,
95
00:04:18,799 --> 00:04:20,551
But...
96
00:04:20,551 --> 00:04:24,184
Only I can offer her
97
00:04:24,184 --> 00:04:26,347
Great love.
98
00:04:26,347 --> 00:04:29,480
And that is what she chooses.
99
00:04:32,563 --> 00:04:34,154
Actually...
100
00:04:34,154 --> 00:04:35,776
Hmm?
101
00:04:35,776 --> 00:04:38,108
I don't know.
102
00:04:38,108 --> 00:04:40,110
I've been thinking a lot about
It ever since he kidnapped me,
103
00:04:40,110 --> 00:04:42,112
And...
104
00:04:42,112 --> 00:04:44,535
I'm gonna go
With the fame and fortune.
105
00:04:44,535 --> 00:04:46,667
Yes!
Seems like an easier life,
You know?
106
00:04:46,667 --> 00:04:50,080
Oh, I'm really sorry, gal.
I hope we can be friends.
107
00:04:51,872 --> 00:04:54,875
[ groans ]
108
00:04:54,875 --> 00:04:57,087
Mm.
109
00:04:57,087 --> 00:04:59,970
Hold that thought,
Darling.
Mm.
110
00:04:59,970 --> 00:05:03,974
Good night,
Sweet prince.
111
00:05:03,974 --> 00:05:06,186
[ tap ]
Oh.
112
00:05:06,186 --> 00:05:07,388
[ scoffs ]
Damn it, gareth.
113
00:05:07,388 --> 00:05:10,060
Would you just do that
For me, please?
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00:05:10,060 --> 00:05:12,393
Night-night.
115
00:05:18,238 --> 00:05:21,652
Good morning...Sir.
116
00:05:21,652 --> 00:05:23,243
[ groans ]
117
00:05:23,243 --> 00:05:26,867
I see we're getting
An early start this morning.
118
00:05:26,867 --> 00:05:28,449
Oh, what do you want,
Sid?
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00:05:28,449 --> 00:05:31,452
Sir...When you hired me
To be your squire,
120
00:05:31,452 --> 00:05:34,545
It was the most exciting thing
To ever happen to me.
121
00:05:34,545 --> 00:05:36,667
Mm.
Best squireship in the land.
122
00:05:36,667 --> 00:05:39,049
My parents
Completely plotzed.
123
00:05:39,049 --> 00:05:40,220
But ever since madalena --
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00:05:40,220 --> 00:05:42,763
Don't say her name.
Right.
125
00:05:42,763 --> 00:05:45,175
There's someone here
To see you.
126
00:05:45,175 --> 00:05:47,057
She brings with her
An opportunity.
127
00:05:47,057 --> 00:05:48,809
I would beg you
To meet with her.
128
00:05:48,809 --> 00:05:50,140
Sid,
I'm not seeing anyone.
129
00:05:50,140 --> 00:05:51,562
And here she is --
May I present
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The princess isabella maria
Lucia "Elisabeeta" --
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"Betta."
...Betta of valencia.
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00:05:59,069 --> 00:06:01,151
[ sighs ]
Well, that's a mouthful.
133
00:06:01,151 --> 00:06:03,033
Uh-huh.
134
00:06:03,033 --> 00:06:05,075
[ sighs ]
135
00:06:05,075 --> 00:06:08,158
[ inhales sharply ]
Sir galavant,
136
00:06:08,158 --> 00:06:10,751
I have traveled long and far
To seek your favor.
137
00:06:10,751 --> 00:06:13,163
Four months ago, my peaceful
Kingdom of valencia --
138
00:06:13,163 --> 00:06:14,294
I'm sorry.
What is that smell?
139
00:06:14,294 --> 00:06:16,707
That would be me.
[ sighs ]
140
00:06:16,707 --> 00:06:17,708
Four months ago,
141
00:06:17,708 --> 00:06:19,299
My peaceful kingdom
Of valencia
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00:06:19,299 --> 00:06:20,501
Fell under attack
From a rival land.
143
00:06:20,501 --> 00:06:21,632
[ groans ]
144
00:06:21,632 --> 00:06:23,504
My people
Were taken captive.
145
00:06:23,504 --> 00:06:26,136
My entire family either killed
Or imprisoned.
146
00:06:26,136 --> 00:06:28,769
Oh, that's terrible.
That's just terrible.
147
00:06:28,769 --> 00:06:30,511
Still, you've got a nice way
About you.
148
00:06:30,511 --> 00:06:32,012
I'm sure you'll land
On your feet.
149
00:06:32,012 --> 00:06:33,854
Nice meeting you.
Door's on the wall.
150
00:06:33,854 --> 00:06:36,647
[ sniffs ]
151
00:06:36,647 --> 00:06:41,111
Before being captured,
My father hid me in the cellar
152
00:06:41,111 --> 00:06:43,864
And handed me the priceless
Jewel of valencia.
153
00:06:43,864 --> 00:06:45,235
I hid in that cellar
For months
154
00:06:45,235 --> 00:06:47,658
As my family
Was slaughtered above me.
155
00:06:47,658 --> 00:06:50,491
I now offer you
This priceless jewel,
156
00:06:50,491 --> 00:06:53,954
All that my country
Has left to offer.
157
00:06:53,954 --> 00:06:57,417
I throw myself at your mercy,
Sir galavant!
158
00:06:57,417 --> 00:06:59,630
Please...
159
00:06:59,630 --> 00:07:01,542
Save my people.
160
00:07:01,542 --> 00:07:03,964
[ sighs ]
161
00:07:03,964 --> 00:07:05,045
Sorry.
I got distracted.
162
00:07:05,045 --> 00:07:07,097
What did you say after I said,
"Nice meeting you.
163
00:07:07,097 --> 00:07:08,509
Door's on the wall"?
164
00:07:11,351 --> 00:07:13,393
You're no hero.
Who are you?
165
00:07:13,393 --> 00:07:15,145
Oh, I'm nobody,
Princess.
166
00:07:15,145 --> 00:07:18,318
♪ where is
The gallant knight ♪
167
00:07:18,318 --> 00:07:21,061
♪ who stood
For truth and right? ♪
168
00:07:21,061 --> 00:07:24,024
♪ the valiant dragon-slayer
Galavant? ♪
169
00:07:24,024 --> 00:07:26,326
♪ where is
His steely gaze? ♪
170
00:07:26,326 --> 00:07:27,988
♪ the abs
The poets praise? ♪
171
00:07:27,988 --> 00:07:32,122
♪ whatever happened
To that galavant? ♪
172
00:07:32,122 --> 00:07:34,074
♪ the man
You're searching for ♪
173
00:07:34,074 --> 00:07:35,496
♪ lost all he loved,
And more ♪
174
00:07:35,496 --> 00:07:39,039
♪ his hope, his pride,
All sense of galavant ♪
175
00:07:39,039 --> 00:07:42,422
♪ add to that losing streak,
A couple kegs a week ♪
176
00:07:42,422 --> 00:07:45,756
♪ plus 20 pounds,
Ta-da! ♪
[ gasps ] No!
177
00:07:45,756 --> 00:07:47,217
Yep.
But you're --
178
00:07:47,217 --> 00:07:49,179
[ belches ]
♪ still, you have to! ♪
179
00:07:49,179 --> 00:07:50,090
No, I don't.
But --
180
00:07:50,090 --> 00:07:51,722
See ya!
Wait!
181
00:07:51,722 --> 00:07:52,763
♪ how will I -- ♪
182
00:07:52,763 --> 00:07:54,224
♪ no idea ♪
183
00:07:54,224 --> 00:07:55,265
Please!
No.
184
00:07:55,265 --> 00:07:56,897
♪ I'm begging on my knees ♪
Bye-bye!
185
00:07:56,897 --> 00:07:58,268
♪ I'll pay whatever fee ♪
You're still here?
186
00:07:58,268 --> 00:08:00,310
♪ we're lost
Without you, gala-- ♪
187
00:08:00,310 --> 00:08:01,311
[ gasps ]
188
00:08:03,233 --> 00:08:05,776
That man is an animal!
189
00:08:05,776 --> 00:08:07,067
W-wait,
Wait, wait, wait!
190
00:08:07,067 --> 00:08:10,030
Princess isabella maria lucia
"Elisabeet--" bet--
191
00:08:10,030 --> 00:08:11,532
Princess?
192
00:08:21,582 --> 00:08:25,215
Jester: banana.
193
00:08:25,215 --> 00:08:26,587
Banana who?
194
00:08:26,587 --> 00:08:28,218
Banana.
195
00:08:28,218 --> 00:08:29,049
Banana who?
196
00:08:29,049 --> 00:08:30,300
Orange.
197
00:08:30,300 --> 00:08:32,132
Orange who?
198
00:08:32,132 --> 00:08:33,844
"Orange" you glad
I didn't say "Banana" again?
199
00:08:33,844 --> 00:08:34,895
[ laughs ]
200
00:08:34,895 --> 00:08:36,056
[ bells jingle ]
Whoa!
201
00:08:36,056 --> 00:08:38,809
Another wonderful routine,
Jester.
202
00:08:38,809 --> 00:08:40,100
I'm not seeing it,
Baby.
203
00:08:40,100 --> 00:08:44,605
Perhaps his humor
Flies over your head, then.
204
00:08:44,605 --> 00:08:48,028
Honestly, gareth, I don't know
What she sees in him.
205
00:08:51,782 --> 00:08:54,154
No idea, my king.
206
00:08:54,154 --> 00:08:57,157
Well, I will go
And compliment the jester.
207
00:08:57,157 --> 00:08:58,789
[ clears throat ]
208
00:08:58,789 --> 00:09:00,871
And while I do,
Husband,
209
00:09:00,871 --> 00:09:02,042
Perhaps you can make
Some progress
210
00:09:02,042 --> 00:09:03,664
Convincing the king and queen
Of valencia
211
00:09:03,664 --> 00:09:04,875
To tell you where
Their jewel is hidden.
212
00:09:04,875 --> 00:09:07,007
I've tried everything.
213
00:09:07,007 --> 00:09:08,258
Mm-hmm.
214
00:09:08,258 --> 00:09:12,132
Galavant would
Not stand for this.
215
00:09:12,132 --> 00:09:13,934
What did you just say?
I said,
216
00:09:13,934 --> 00:09:18,679
"Galavant would not have
Stood for this"!
217
00:09:18,679 --> 00:09:20,480
See, that's what I thought
You said.
218
00:09:20,480 --> 00:09:23,233
I just wanted clarification.
Thank you.
219
00:09:24,484 --> 00:09:26,066
Find me the jewel,
Would you, dear?
220
00:09:26,066 --> 00:09:28,488
Of course, darling.
221
00:09:28,488 --> 00:09:31,071
Jester, um...
222
00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:33,363
Join me in my chamber,
Would you?
223
00:09:33,363 --> 00:09:35,996
I'd love to learn
A little more
224
00:09:35,996 --> 00:09:40,200
About how you, uh...
Craft a joke.
225
00:09:40,200 --> 00:09:42,162
Ooh!
226
00:09:42,162 --> 00:09:45,085
She really gets a kick
Out of that damn jester.
227
00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:47,507
I don't know. Maybe it is all
Going over my head.
228
00:09:47,507 --> 00:09:49,920
Oh, it's definitely going
Over your head, sir.
229
00:09:49,920 --> 00:09:52,012
[ clattering ]
230
00:09:59,810 --> 00:10:01,221
[ lid creaks ]
231
00:10:04,394 --> 00:10:07,027
A midday snack, my king?
232
00:10:07,027 --> 00:10:08,649
Come up here.
233
00:10:14,905 --> 00:10:16,697
What happened
To the other chef?
234
00:10:16,697 --> 00:10:20,741
Looked just like you,
But...Older, more wrinkly.
235
00:10:20,741 --> 00:10:22,002
My father?
236
00:10:22,002 --> 00:10:23,794
Right.
What happened to him?
237
00:10:23,794 --> 00:10:26,046
You had him killed, sir.
Hmm?
238
00:10:26,046 --> 00:10:27,708
Your mutton
Was too rare.
239
00:10:27,708 --> 00:10:29,920
Well, that doesn't
Sound like me.
240
00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:31,922
You killed his father
Before him.
241
00:10:31,922 --> 00:10:34,304
Your family has killed
The last four generations
242
00:10:34,304 --> 00:10:36,717
Of chefs in my family.
243
00:10:36,717 --> 00:10:39,059
It's not a great job,
My king.
244
00:10:39,059 --> 00:10:41,892
I'm such a bully.
245
00:10:41,892 --> 00:10:43,023
I'm under a terrible amount
Of pressure.
246
00:10:43,023 --> 00:10:44,144
You have to
Understand that.
247
00:10:44,144 --> 00:10:45,976
Oh, it's fine, my king.
Don't worry about it.
248
00:10:45,976 --> 00:10:48,108
Oh, gareth, I try so hard
To please her.
249
00:10:48,108 --> 00:10:50,110
I invade a kingdom
For a jewel,
250
00:10:50,110 --> 00:10:51,942
I respect her vow
Of chastity,
251
00:10:51,942 --> 00:10:54,484
And yet every day
I have to hear it
252
00:10:54,484 --> 00:10:57,077
Over and over again.
253
00:10:57,077 --> 00:10:59,489
♪ galavant ♪
254
00:10:59,489 --> 00:11:01,371
♪ galavant ♪
255
00:11:01,371 --> 00:11:04,374
♪ blah, blah, blah, blah,
Galavant ♪
256
00:11:04,374 --> 00:11:07,998
♪ I want her, need her,
Crave her, yes, it's true ♪
257
00:11:07,998 --> 00:11:14,214
♪ but she is not the only thing
I desperately want to do ♪
258
00:11:14,214 --> 00:11:18,218
♪ I want to shoot him
With a crossbow ♪
259
00:11:18,218 --> 00:11:22,012
♪ I want to
Stab him in the eye ♪
260
00:11:22,012 --> 00:11:25,225
♪ I want to liberate his head
From his neck ♪
261
00:11:25,225 --> 00:11:28,809
♪ and then punt
The bloody wreck sky high ♪
262
00:11:28,809 --> 00:11:30,020
Oh!
263
00:11:30,020 --> 00:11:33,403
♪ I want to hurl him
Out a window ♪
264
00:11:33,403 --> 00:11:38,158
♪ and shove explosives
Where the sun don't shine ♪
265
00:11:38,158 --> 00:11:40,580
♪ want to skewer him
With swords ♪
266
00:11:40,580 --> 00:11:42,783
♪ then slowly twist them ♪
267
00:11:42,783 --> 00:11:46,586
♪ all around
His reproductive system ♪
268
00:11:46,586 --> 00:11:52,592
♪ won't that be divine? ♪
269
00:11:52,592 --> 00:11:56,096
♪ then she'll be mine ♪
270
00:11:56,096 --> 00:11:58,388
Everybody sing!
271
00:11:58,388 --> 00:12:00,761
♪ ahh ♪
272
00:12:00,761 --> 00:12:02,222
♪ and then you'll do it
Every evening ♪
273
00:12:02,222 --> 00:12:04,224
♪ sweet god, at last! ♪
274
00:12:04,224 --> 00:12:05,846
♪ in every room
On every floor ♪
275
00:12:05,846 --> 00:12:08,058
♪ till I can't do it anymore ♪
276
00:12:08,058 --> 00:12:10,650
♪ and with no galavant
Distracting your bride ♪
277
00:12:10,650 --> 00:12:13,854
♪ we could start
A genocidal war ♪
278
00:12:13,854 --> 00:12:15,776
♪ yay, we're gonna go to -- ♪
Wait, what?!
279
00:12:15,776 --> 00:12:18,408
♪ I'll get back
To all my hobbies ♪
280
00:12:18,408 --> 00:12:21,992
♪ like raising taxes
And tormenting the poor ♪
[ baby cries ]
281
00:12:21,992 --> 00:12:23,824
♪ crush those poor! ♪
282
00:12:23,824 --> 00:12:28,078
♪ no more "Galavant is just
Complete perfection! ♪
283
00:12:28,078 --> 00:12:29,579
♪ "Gal would never lose his... ♪
284
00:12:30,330 --> 00:12:31,541
♪ ...Temper" ♪
285
00:12:31,541 --> 00:12:36,296
♪ won't that be divine? ♪
286
00:12:36,296 --> 00:12:37,717
♪ ahh ♪
287
00:12:37,717 --> 00:12:39,549
♪ and she'll be mine ♪
288
00:12:39,549 --> 00:12:41,011
♪ la la la la ♪
289
00:12:41,011 --> 00:12:42,843
♪ just mine, all mine ♪
290
00:12:42,843 --> 00:12:44,434
♪ la la la la ♪
291
00:12:44,434 --> 00:12:48,849
♪ mine, all mine, all mine! ♪
292
00:12:48,849 --> 00:12:50,770
Well, that was ripping!
293
00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:52,772
This is all very exciting,
My king,
294
00:12:52,772 --> 00:12:54,524
But galavant
Still lives.
295
00:12:54,524 --> 00:12:56,857
And he is still the greatest
Warrior in five kingdoms.
296
00:12:56,857 --> 00:13:00,030
Fine. If I can't win her love,
I'll buy it.
297
00:13:00,030 --> 00:13:01,701
Bring me the king and queen
Of valencia.
298
00:13:01,701 --> 00:13:04,494
I'll find her
That stupid jewel.
299
00:13:07,577 --> 00:13:11,001
"'orange' you glad
I didn't say 'banana' again?"
300
00:13:11,001 --> 00:13:12,172
Not funny at all,
Sir.
301
00:13:12,172 --> 00:13:13,173
[ fingers snap ]
302
00:13:19,219 --> 00:13:20,800
Galavant: tommy.
303
00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:23,133
Tommy. Tommy!
304
00:13:23,133 --> 00:13:25,976
There appears to be a rather
Large hole in my bucket,
305
00:13:25,976 --> 00:13:28,188
And I would very much
Like you to fix it.
306
00:13:28,188 --> 00:13:30,350
Sorry, gal.
I'm gonna have to cut you off.
307
00:13:30,350 --> 00:13:33,143
Tommy, come on.
It's me.
308
00:13:33,143 --> 00:13:34,855
It's gal.
309
00:13:34,855 --> 00:13:38,028
Hey, gal. Come on.
You're embarrassing yourself.
310
00:13:38,028 --> 00:13:40,150
I'm embarrassing
Yourself.
311
00:13:41,321 --> 00:13:43,113
[ sighs ]
312
00:13:48,909 --> 00:13:50,120
[ thud ]
313
00:13:50,120 --> 00:13:51,081
[ men snicker ]
314
00:13:53,753 --> 00:13:54,955
Can I buy you a drink?
315
00:13:54,955 --> 00:13:56,046
No!
316
00:13:56,046 --> 00:13:58,008
Good.
You can buy me one.
317
00:13:58,008 --> 00:13:59,169
Now, where were we?
318
00:13:59,169 --> 00:14:01,051
Two months ago, you were
Imprisoned in a cellar.
319
00:14:01,051 --> 00:14:02,262
Then what happened?
320
00:14:02,262 --> 00:14:04,054
King richard:
Ah, here we are.
321
00:14:04,054 --> 00:14:05,966
Regular spots, please.
Thank you very much.
322
00:14:05,966 --> 00:14:07,267
I believe you know
Where to stand.
323
00:14:07,267 --> 00:14:09,729
Now, let me ask you
One question.
324
00:14:09,729 --> 00:14:11,932
I've tried to be kind
To you.
325
00:14:11,932 --> 00:14:13,273
Have I not?
326
00:14:13,273 --> 00:14:14,684
You pillaged
Our peaceful kingdom,
327
00:14:14,684 --> 00:14:15,815
Killed half our army.
328
00:14:15,815 --> 00:14:16,897
But I haven't
Killed you.
329
00:14:16,897 --> 00:14:18,648
I mean,
Think about it.
330
00:14:18,648 --> 00:14:20,030
I've killed a massive amount
Of people this week,
331
00:14:20,030 --> 00:14:23,483
But I haven't
[coughs] Killed -- kil--
332
00:14:23,483 --> 00:14:25,075
Gareth, I have a horribly
Scratchy throat.
333
00:14:25,075 --> 00:14:26,076
A bit of tea, please.
334
00:14:26,076 --> 00:14:27,287
Tea for the king!
335
00:14:27,287 --> 00:14:28,538
I'm not really a yeller.
336
00:14:28,538 --> 00:14:30,790
I've been fighting a bug
Since the invasion.
337
00:14:30,790 --> 00:14:32,792
I swear, it's the plague.
It's not the plague.
338
00:14:32,792 --> 00:14:34,584
Feel it, though --
Does that feel lumpy?
No.
339
00:14:34,584 --> 00:14:36,256
You didn't even feel it.
340
00:14:36,256 --> 00:14:37,797
We beg you to show mercy
To our people,
341
00:14:37,797 --> 00:14:38,798
Good king richard.
342
00:14:38,798 --> 00:14:40,800
[ chuckles ]
We've done this.
343
00:14:40,800 --> 00:14:43,593
Look,
Here's the thing.
344
00:14:43,593 --> 00:14:47,007
My wife really wants
That jewel of yours.
345
00:14:47,007 --> 00:14:50,390
Now, I know, at times,
She can come off as a bit, um...
346
00:14:50,390 --> 00:14:52,102
[ inhales sharply ]
What's the word?
347
00:14:52,102 --> 00:14:53,313
Evil.
Cruel.
348
00:14:53,313 --> 00:14:54,854
No, that's not it.
It's more...
349
00:14:54,854 --> 00:14:56,146
Sadistic.
Vicious.
350
00:14:56,146 --> 00:14:57,727
You know, I think you really
Just have to get to know her.
351
00:14:57,727 --> 00:14:58,898
She can be a [bleep]
352
00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:00,150
Would you stop it, gareth?!
All right.
353
00:15:00,150 --> 00:15:02,192
How's about this?
354
00:15:02,192 --> 00:15:04,074
You tell me
Where the jewelry is,
355
00:15:04,074 --> 00:15:05,285
We'll pack up shop.
356
00:15:05,285 --> 00:15:07,077
We'll stop the pillaging
And the killing,
357
00:15:07,077 --> 00:15:09,289
Yada, yada,
And everyone's happy.
358
00:15:09,289 --> 00:15:11,081
The jewel of valencia
Is priceless.
359
00:15:11,081 --> 00:15:12,702
I know. I know.
360
00:15:12,702 --> 00:15:14,914
It is a symbol of valencia.
It has belonged not to us,
361
00:15:14,914 --> 00:15:16,586
But to our people
For thousands of years.
362
00:15:16,586 --> 00:15:19,169
Totally understand.
Totally empathize.
363
00:15:19,169 --> 00:15:21,211
Can I have it?
Never!
364
00:15:21,211 --> 00:15:23,213
[ sighs ]
365
00:15:23,213 --> 00:15:26,176
This is so not
How I wanted to do this!
366
00:15:26,176 --> 00:15:29,099
It is about to get very messy
In here.
367
00:15:29,099 --> 00:15:31,811
Ooh, my tea!
Thank you very much.
368
00:15:31,811 --> 00:15:35,225
Mm.
369
00:15:35,225 --> 00:15:37,187
Is there lemon in there?
370
00:15:37,187 --> 00:15:40,150
Yes...My king?
371
00:15:40,150 --> 00:15:43,063
Some unsqueezed lemons.
372
00:15:43,063 --> 00:15:46,866
Well, it's delightful.
Just delightful.
373
00:15:46,866 --> 00:15:48,028
[ sighs ]
374
00:15:48,028 --> 00:15:49,449
Kill the king,
Make her watch.
375
00:15:49,449 --> 00:15:51,071
No!
376
00:15:51,071 --> 00:15:54,074
[ woman gasps ]
377
00:15:54,074 --> 00:15:56,706
Mmm.
378
00:15:56,706 --> 00:15:58,078
Mmm.
[ lips smack ]
379
00:15:58,078 --> 00:16:00,790
Sid, fetch me a drink.
380
00:16:00,790 --> 00:16:04,924
When he tells me to fetch,
Those are my favorite moments.
381
00:16:06,466 --> 00:16:08,048
Thanks again
For the drink.
382
00:16:08,048 --> 00:16:09,179
Drinks.
383
00:16:09,179 --> 00:16:11,801
Right.
Thanks again.
384
00:16:11,801 --> 00:16:15,805
My father used to
Tell stories of you,
385
00:16:15,805 --> 00:16:18,098
Of your skill in battle...
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
386
00:16:18,098 --> 00:16:19,769
...Your heroism,
Of your goodness.
387
00:16:21,601 --> 00:16:24,194
What happened to you?
388
00:16:24,194 --> 00:16:26,486
I mean...Eh.
389
00:16:28,368 --> 00:16:30,780
Oh, come on.
I've come a long way.
390
00:16:30,780 --> 00:16:33,163
Surely I deserve
Some kind of backstory.
391
00:16:33,163 --> 00:16:34,324
[ sighs ]
392
00:16:35,455 --> 00:16:37,877
[ chuckles ]
393
00:16:37,877 --> 00:16:40,670
All right.
[ inhales deeply ]
394
00:16:40,670 --> 00:16:44,084
My parents were people of
Massive, massive appetites.
395
00:16:44,084 --> 00:16:46,466
They loved everything -- they
Loved food. They loved drink.
396
00:16:46,466 --> 00:16:48,798
But most of all,
They loved each other.
397
00:16:48,798 --> 00:16:51,591
Ironically,
They also hated each other.
398
00:16:51,591 --> 00:16:54,594
[ clears throat ] And they
Fought violently every day.
399
00:16:54,594 --> 00:16:57,057
Didn't have time
For much else, in fact.
400
00:16:57,057 --> 00:17:00,060
So...At the age of 8,
I swore off love.
401
00:17:00,060 --> 00:17:01,271
[ chuckles ]
402
00:17:01,271 --> 00:17:03,903
Devoted myself to doing
Something better with my life
403
00:17:03,903 --> 00:17:06,106
Than wasting it on love.
404
00:17:06,106 --> 00:17:09,279
So I read, I trained,
I learned languages.
405
00:17:09,279 --> 00:17:11,241
All the time other young men
Chasing spent chasing girls,
406
00:17:11,241 --> 00:17:13,203
I spent that time
Bettering myself.
407
00:17:13,203 --> 00:17:17,247
But I come from a long family
Of lovers.
408
00:17:17,247 --> 00:17:19,869
You can't
Fight genetics.
409
00:17:19,869 --> 00:17:23,083
So when it inevitably
Happened --
410
00:17:23,083 --> 00:17:25,085
When I fell --
You fell hard.
411
00:17:25,085 --> 00:17:26,216
...I fell hard.
412
00:17:26,216 --> 00:17:27,427
And her?
413
00:17:27,427 --> 00:17:30,049
[ squeaks ]
414
00:17:30,049 --> 00:17:31,431
She fell softer...
415
00:17:31,431 --> 00:17:33,673
As it turns out.
416
00:17:35,135 --> 00:17:37,767
[ sighs ]
417
00:17:37,767 --> 00:17:40,180
Look, I'd love to help.
Really, I would.
418
00:17:40,180 --> 00:17:41,481
But I'm --
419
00:17:41,481 --> 00:17:43,893
I'm sort of out of the whole
"Damsel in distress" business
420
00:17:43,893 --> 00:17:45,235
At the moment, so...
421
00:17:45,235 --> 00:17:46,316
I listened from below
422
00:17:46,316 --> 00:17:48,148
As he ordered my parents
To their death.
423
00:17:48,148 --> 00:17:49,899
And after coming
All this way,
424
00:17:49,899 --> 00:17:51,901
Your advice is for me
To just turn a blind eye
425
00:17:51,901 --> 00:17:54,073
And watch king richard
Destroy my kingdom
426
00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:56,075
And everyone
I've ever loved?
427
00:17:56,075 --> 00:17:57,036
What?
428
00:17:59,289 --> 00:18:02,202
Did you just say...
429
00:18:02,202 --> 00:18:03,793
"King richard"?
430
00:18:07,127 --> 00:18:08,128
Oh, come here!
431
00:18:08,128 --> 00:18:09,129
Isabella.
Father!
432
00:18:10,340 --> 00:18:12,342
Ah!
433
00:18:12,342 --> 00:18:14,214
Maybe this is
What we're looking for.
434
00:18:18,178 --> 00:18:19,639
Ooh, sweet!
435
00:18:19,639 --> 00:18:21,060
Any luck on the jewel,
Richard?
436
00:18:21,060 --> 00:18:22,722
Well, actually, my dear --
437
00:18:22,722 --> 00:18:24,684
I know. I know.
You're working on it.
438
00:18:24,684 --> 00:18:26,226
Well, why don't you stop
Working on it,
439
00:18:26,226 --> 00:18:31,191
Start acting like galavant,
And do something already?
440
00:18:32,782 --> 00:18:34,784
Will do, my queen.
441
00:18:36,326 --> 00:18:37,697
[ sighs ]
442
00:18:37,697 --> 00:18:42,121
I swear, if I have to hear
The name galavant one more time.
443
00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:45,124
If only there was some way
That I could...
444
00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:47,207
Ah.
445
00:18:47,207 --> 00:18:48,548
She's a pretty young thing,
Isn't she, gareth?
446
00:18:48,548 --> 00:18:50,960
A bit plump for my liking.
Plump?
447
00:18:50,960 --> 00:18:53,092
The girl is 100 pounds
Soaking wet.
448
00:18:53,092 --> 00:18:56,636
I know, but I like skinny.
Like, really unhealthy skinny.
449
00:18:57,927 --> 00:18:59,309
[ sighs ]
450
00:18:59,309 --> 00:19:01,100
You love your parents,
Don't you, my dear?
451
00:19:01,100 --> 00:19:02,562
Leave my parents be.
452
00:19:02,562 --> 00:19:05,185
Leave them be, or so help me,
I will kill you myself.
453
00:19:05,185 --> 00:19:06,526
And spunky.
454
00:19:06,526 --> 00:19:08,027
Ha!
More like "Chunky"!
455
00:19:08,027 --> 00:19:09,028
Just stop it, gareth!
456
00:19:09,028 --> 00:19:11,110
I am trying to do
Something here!
457
00:19:11,110 --> 00:19:13,273
Fine.
If we can't beat galavant
On his turf,
458
00:19:13,273 --> 00:19:15,154
We'll bring him
To our own.
459
00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:16,906
If you want
Your parents to live,
460
00:19:16,906 --> 00:19:18,488
You will travel
To find galavant.
461
00:19:18,488 --> 00:19:21,120
You tell him that I,
King richard,
462
00:19:21,120 --> 00:19:22,492
Have invaded your kingdom.
463
00:19:22,492 --> 00:19:24,494
Offer to pay him
With the jewel.
464
00:19:24,494 --> 00:19:29,499
When that doesn't work,
I want you to tell him this --
465
00:19:29,499 --> 00:19:31,050
I feel like you should be
Writing this down.
466
00:19:31,050 --> 00:19:33,463
I will remember it.
It's a bit long.
467
00:19:33,463 --> 00:19:35,054
I'd really just
Be more comfortable
If you wrote it down.
468
00:19:35,054 --> 00:19:37,217
I will remember it.
Like a steel trap.
469
00:19:37,217 --> 00:19:39,299
Always had a wonderful memory,
This one.
470
00:19:39,299 --> 00:19:40,510
Fine.
471
00:19:40,510 --> 00:19:43,102
You tell him
That king richard is a...
472
00:19:43,102 --> 00:19:45,305
...Is a cruel
And vicious man.
473
00:19:45,305 --> 00:19:47,186
Four months
I hid in that cellar.
474
00:19:47,186 --> 00:19:49,188
He and his queen
Slept right above me.
475
00:19:49,188 --> 00:19:52,612
And you tell him
That every night,
476
00:19:52,612 --> 00:19:54,023
You would listen while
He screamed at his queen...
477
00:19:54,023 --> 00:19:57,196
...Screamed at his queen,
And each night I would be left
478
00:19:57,196 --> 00:19:59,869
With only the sobs
Of that poor woman.
479
00:19:59,869 --> 00:20:03,243
Every night, she would cry out,
"I made the wrong choice.
480
00:20:03,243 --> 00:20:06,666
I'm so sorry, gals.
I'm so sorry."
481
00:20:06,666 --> 00:20:09,038
She must have left
Some maidens back home.
482
00:20:09,038 --> 00:20:10,790
Never knew
What she meant.
483
00:20:10,790 --> 00:20:12,792
"I'm so sorry, gals."
484
00:20:14,384 --> 00:20:17,387
[ echoing ]
I love you, gal.
485
00:20:17,387 --> 00:20:20,009
"I'm so sorry, gal."
486
00:20:20,009 --> 00:20:23,393
She was saying,
"I'm so sorry, gal."
487
00:20:24,804 --> 00:20:28,227
We leave tomorrow
At sunrise.
488
00:20:28,227 --> 00:20:32,021
Pack lightly.
There's a long journey ahead.
489
00:20:35,855 --> 00:20:37,857
Narrator:
♪ and so begins our plot ♪
490
00:20:37,857 --> 00:20:39,449
♪ of which there's quite a lot ♪
491
00:20:39,449 --> 00:20:42,822
♪ with isabella
Stringing galavant ♪
492
00:20:42,822 --> 00:20:45,995
♪ and with the evil king
Prepared to do his thing ♪
[ groans ]
493
00:20:45,995 --> 00:20:49,499
♪ and with the queen
Still pretty sure he can't ♪
494
00:20:49,499 --> 00:20:52,712
♪ and, with gal
About to start his journey ♪
495
00:20:52,712 --> 00:20:56,135
♪ one both twisty
And immensely turny ♪
496
00:20:56,135 --> 00:20:58,298
♪ oh, it's lots of plot,
We know! ♪
497
00:20:58,298 --> 00:21:00,139
♪ but anyway, hi ho! ♪
498
00:21:00,139 --> 00:21:01,801
♪ we're off and here we go! ♪
499
00:21:01,801 --> 00:21:03,803
♪ come back
For our next show ♪
500
00:21:03,803 --> 00:21:12,021
♪ to see what's next
For galava-a-a-a-nt! ♪
501
00:21:12,021 --> 00:21:14,193
Oh, for god's sake,
Jester!
502
00:21:14,193 --> 00:21:15,194
Stop with the singing
503
00:21:15,194 --> 00:21:16,696
And get back
To what you're good at.
504
00:21:16,696 --> 00:21:17,947
Knock, knock.
505
00:21:17,947 --> 00:21:19,569
Not that.
506
00:21:19,569 --> 00:21:21,361
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
[ laughs ]
507
00:21:21,361 --> 00:21:23,112
Oh, jester!
35983
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