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1
00:00:00,666 --> 00:00:02,033
[theme music]
2
00:00:11,033 --> 00:00:14,000
[indistinct shouting]
3
00:00:20,433 --> 00:00:23,400
[screaming]
4
00:00:27,866 --> 00:00:29,833
[laughing]
5
00:00:46,266 --> 00:00:49,233
[upbeat music]
6
00:00:51,200 --> 00:00:54,133
[indistinct chatter]
7
00:01:04,566 --> 00:01:06,866
Let's do it. Wait.
8
00:01:06,933 --> 00:01:09,900
[music continues]
9
00:01:13,066 --> 00:01:14,033
Here we go.
10
00:01:19,733 --> 00:01:22,233
- Yeah! Alright!
- Alright.
11
00:01:22,300 --> 00:01:23,600
You know, I think
we got a pretty good shot
12
00:01:23,666 --> 00:01:25,800
against Wickman Insurance
this year.
13
00:01:28,666 --> 00:01:30,800
'Huh, guess they're
big hockey fans.'
14
00:01:30,866 --> 00:01:33,466
Hey, Gordon, Gordon, Gordon,
catch this.
15
00:01:33,533 --> 00:01:35,466
They're on their knees.
16
00:01:35,533 --> 00:01:38,500
[laughing]
17
00:01:41,133 --> 00:01:42,100
(Gordon)
'Wow, look at Angela.'
18
00:01:42,166 --> 00:01:43,166
'She's got
the rest of those girls'
19
00:01:43,233 --> 00:01:44,666
'so outclassed.'
20
00:01:44,733 --> 00:01:46,700
She's beautiful and smart.
21
00:01:48,133 --> 00:01:49,800
[sighs]
'The way she glides
around out there'
22
00:01:49,866 --> 00:01:50,833
'it's like she's dancing.'
23
00:01:50,900 --> 00:01:52,766
'Every single move
is so graceful.'
24
00:01:52,833 --> 00:01:54,866
(Freddy)
'Oh, please.'
25
00:01:54,933 --> 00:01:57,600
(Gordon)
'I mean it. She's like, watching
a ballerina. She's perfect.'
26
00:01:57,666 --> 00:02:01,033
'Like a work of art,
like something out of a dream.'
27
00:02:01,100 --> 00:02:02,700
(Freddy)
'You know, I'm surprised,
she can skate it all'
28
00:02:02,766 --> 00:02:04,633
'on that poor pedestal
you got her on.'
29
00:02:04,700 --> 00:02:06,533
'A girl like that
deserves to be the pedestal.'
30
00:02:08,500 --> 00:02:10,966
Oh, would you forget her?
31
00:02:11,033 --> 00:02:13,200
'She's just, she's just another
girl, not some Goddess.'
32
00:02:13,266 --> 00:02:15,900
(Gordon)
'You don't know her.'
33
00:02:15,966 --> 00:02:17,633
(Freddy)
'I-I keep forgetting
how tight you two are.'
34
00:02:17,700 --> 00:02:20,366
We have a very special
relationship.
35
00:02:20,433 --> 00:02:23,466
Hey, you asked her out twice,
and she turned you down twice.
36
00:02:23,533 --> 00:02:25,000
'You know, I'm-I'm
no big expert on romance'
37
00:02:25,066 --> 00:02:27,433
'but I think she may be trying
to tell you something.'
38
00:02:27,500 --> 00:02:28,833
It's just that,
you know, she doesn't go out
39
00:02:28,900 --> 00:02:30,200
with guys at work, that's all.
40
00:02:30,266 --> 00:02:33,100
'She doesn't want people
to think that she's, you know..'
41
00:02:33,166 --> 00:02:34,500
(Freddy)
'Dating her way to the top?'
42
00:02:34,566 --> 00:02:36,533
(Gordon)
'She's got a reputation
to think of.'
43
00:02:38,800 --> 00:02:39,933
Oh, then I guess Schneider's got
44
00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:41,600
some kind of executive
exemption.
45
00:02:43,033 --> 00:02:45,366
How could she do this?
He's suck a jerk.
46
00:02:45,433 --> 00:02:48,266
(Freddy)
'Yeah, but he's a jerk
with a future.'
47
00:02:48,333 --> 00:02:49,966
'Why bother with a couple
of juniors sales reps'
48
00:02:50,033 --> 00:02:51,866
when you can have
the vice president?
49
00:02:51,933 --> 00:02:56,033
He's nothing but
a brown-nosing corporate creep.
50
00:02:56,100 --> 00:02:57,233
(Freddy)
'I know, well she's just going'
51
00:02:57,300 --> 00:02:59,966
for the gold,
like everybody else.
52
00:03:00,033 --> 00:03:02,800
I'm sure they all want
a sensitive, caring kind of guy.
53
00:03:02,866 --> 00:03:04,500
Mostly the sensitive,
caring kind of guy
54
00:03:04,566 --> 00:03:05,800
who earn six figures a year.
55
00:03:05,866 --> 00:03:08,833
[music continues]
56
00:03:11,100 --> 00:03:12,433
What do you want
with an uptight secretary
57
00:03:12,500 --> 00:03:13,666
when we have
creatures like that?
58
00:03:13,733 --> 00:03:16,133
Oh, yeah, look at her.
59
00:03:16,200 --> 00:03:19,600
Young and healthy.
And she can really skate.
60
00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:20,933
Hmm.
61
00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:27,533
Oh, I'd like to slip my puck
past her little blue line.
62
00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:29,466
'That's one natural
and one free spirit'
63
00:03:29,533 --> 00:03:31,500
'and earthy andveryi
64
00:03:33,766 --> 00:03:35,566
'Well, that takes
incredible muscle control.'
65
00:03:35,633 --> 00:03:37,000
'And-and a certain amount
of courage.'
66
00:03:37,066 --> 00:03:38,166
(Gordon)
'Courage?'
67
00:03:38,233 --> 00:03:39,633
(Freddy)
'Yeah, hey,
this is a public place.'
68
00:03:39,700 --> 00:03:41,633
'It takes guts to be
that free and open.'
69
00:03:44,833 --> 00:03:46,800
Hey, pal.
This is your lucky night.
70
00:03:48,500 --> 00:03:50,433
'She can come on
to you for weeks.'
71
00:03:53,666 --> 00:03:55,433
She's not my type.
72
00:03:55,500 --> 00:03:57,033
Oh, well, excuse me.
73
00:03:57,100 --> 00:03:58,366
I'm sorry, I forgot
you wouldn't be content
74
00:03:58,433 --> 00:04:00,800
with just a...better
than average looking chick.
75
00:04:00,866 --> 00:04:01,966
You have to have Miss Perfect.
76
00:04:02,033 --> 00:04:04,300
It's just
a personal preference, okay?
77
00:04:04,366 --> 00:04:06,533
Oh, sure, if you're
fightin' 'em off.
78
00:04:06,600 --> 00:04:07,833
But you're not.
79
00:04:09,300 --> 00:04:11,500
Look, face it. The girls
you want, don't want you.
80
00:04:12,933 --> 00:04:14,566
Thanks, pal.
81
00:04:14,633 --> 00:04:16,466
Hey, look,
I'm being your friend.
82
00:04:16,533 --> 00:04:18,633
Just kiss your fantasy goodbye
and get real.
83
00:04:19,700 --> 00:04:21,100
Get..
84
00:04:22,300 --> 00:04:23,666
'Now t-that's real.'
85
00:04:23,733 --> 00:04:25,866
'But-but no, you gotta keep
looking for a blonde Goddess'
86
00:04:25,933 --> 00:04:28,300
'so perfect that she'd have to
be programed by a computer.'
87
00:04:30,700 --> 00:04:32,633
[crickets chirping]
88
00:04:37,666 --> 00:04:40,633
[instrumental music]
89
00:04:51,200 --> 00:04:52,200
[car door slams]
90
00:05:13,866 --> 00:05:16,833
[intense music]
91
00:05:29,233 --> 00:05:30,700
[burps]
92
00:05:34,700 --> 00:05:38,400
Hope he didn't buy off
more than he can chew.
93
00:05:40,033 --> 00:05:42,000
[laughing]
94
00:05:47,633 --> 00:05:49,166
So you're looking
for an attractive young woman
95
00:05:49,233 --> 00:05:50,333
to share your life with.
96
00:05:50,400 --> 00:05:53,066
Someone who is willing
to commit themselves
97
00:05:53,133 --> 00:05:55,933
to a loving but
monogamous relationship.
98
00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:57,300
Yeah.
99
00:05:57,366 --> 00:05:59,333
On the weekends, anyway.
100
00:06:01,966 --> 00:06:04,233
If you'll come right over here,
Gordon..
101
00:06:04,300 --> 00:06:08,033
Gordon, Gordo? Gordy.
Yes, that's much better.
102
00:06:08,100 --> 00:06:09,733
Sit down, right over here, Gordy
103
00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:12,400
so we can do
a video presentation.
104
00:06:12,466 --> 00:06:14,166
Is this extra?
105
00:06:14,233 --> 00:06:15,933
The video
and all the other extras
106
00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:18,500
are included in
our "Saturday Night Special."
107
00:06:21,100 --> 00:06:24,366
Now, we don't get a second
chance at first impression
108
00:06:24,433 --> 00:06:26,400
so it's very important
109
00:06:26,466 --> 00:06:30,033
that we show you
in your very best light.
110
00:06:34,833 --> 00:06:36,100
Relax.
111
00:06:40,266 --> 00:06:42,166
Just look into the camera.
112
00:06:42,233 --> 00:06:44,200
[sighs]
113
00:06:45,466 --> 00:06:47,333
Sit straight, not stiff.
114
00:06:47,400 --> 00:06:48,400
That's it.
115
00:06:49,700 --> 00:06:51,033
Smile.
116
00:06:54,566 --> 00:06:56,033
Too much.
117
00:06:58,400 --> 00:06:59,800
Good.
118
00:07:03,166 --> 00:07:05,733
You're squinting, Gordy.
Don't squint.
119
00:07:08,100 --> 00:07:10,700
'Now, you're gonna tell us
all about your life.'
120
00:07:10,766 --> 00:07:14,133
'Very naturally. Just as if you
were sitting in your own home.'
121
00:07:16,133 --> 00:07:17,733
We're rolling tape.
122
00:07:17,800 --> 00:07:19,000
Okay, um..
123
00:07:21,633 --> 00:07:24,000
[clears throat]
Hi, I'm Gordon.
124
00:07:25,133 --> 00:07:26,466
Gordy.
125
00:07:26,533 --> 00:07:29,200
Okay. Hi, I'm Gordy.
126
00:07:30,066 --> 00:07:31,700
Hi, I'm Gordy.
127
00:07:31,766 --> 00:07:33,900
And I work for, um
128
00:07:33,966 --> 00:07:35,800
Springwood Mutual Causality
And Life--
129
00:07:35,866 --> 00:07:38,966
- Cut.
- What?
130
00:07:39,033 --> 00:07:41,066
I think we can do
better than that.
131
00:07:41,133 --> 00:07:43,000
But that's what I do,
I sell insurance.
132
00:07:43,066 --> 00:07:45,100
'But that's not what
you'd really like to be doing.'
133
00:07:45,166 --> 00:07:47,500
That's not who
you'd really like to be.
134
00:07:47,566 --> 00:07:49,833
No! No, I would rather be,
uh, Van Halen.
135
00:07:49,900 --> 00:07:52,866
Traveling around the country,
and-and-and playing drums
136
00:07:52,933 --> 00:07:54,233
and fighting off groupies.
137
00:07:54,300 --> 00:07:55,800
Heavy metal.
138
00:07:55,866 --> 00:07:57,066
No, that's a wrong image.
139
00:07:57,133 --> 00:07:59,633
What? Even my-my fantasies
aren't classy enough?
140
00:08:00,566 --> 00:08:02,533
Not for the kind of girl
you want.
141
00:08:02,600 --> 00:08:04,533
'Of course these things
are negotiable'
142
00:08:04,600 --> 00:08:06,866
but only to a certain point.
143
00:08:06,933 --> 00:08:08,600
'If you want a thoroughbred'
144
00:08:08,666 --> 00:08:10,733
'you have to be willing to pay
for thoroughbred.'
145
00:08:10,800 --> 00:08:12,466
So you want me to lie?
146
00:08:12,533 --> 00:08:14,100
You're a salesman, Gordy.
147
00:08:14,166 --> 00:08:16,066
You're a professional liar
148
00:08:16,133 --> 00:08:17,766
Your job is to convince people
149
00:08:17,833 --> 00:08:19,466
that they want things,
they don't really need
150
00:08:19,533 --> 00:08:20,500
and they can't really afford.
151
00:08:20,566 --> 00:08:22,100
Well, yeah, but this doe..
152
00:08:22,166 --> 00:08:24,500
This is different.
This does not seem ethical.
153
00:08:24,566 --> 00:08:26,233
Unlike selling life insurance
154
00:08:26,300 --> 00:08:28,033
betting the customers gonna live
155
00:08:28,100 --> 00:08:31,066
while you con them
into paying monthly premiums
156
00:08:31,133 --> 00:08:33,800
on the chance,
he might just get lucky
157
00:08:33,866 --> 00:08:35,033
and die.
158
00:08:35,100 --> 00:08:37,033
That's some jackpot.
159
00:08:39,266 --> 00:08:41,000
So, let's see if we can come up
160
00:08:41,066 --> 00:08:43,633
with something
a little more upscale.
161
00:08:43,700 --> 00:08:47,333
Something that requires
a Harvard degree.
162
00:08:47,400 --> 00:08:50,966
But I didn't even graduate from
Springwood Community College.
163
00:08:51,033 --> 00:08:53,000
I mean,
what do you want me to say?
164
00:08:53,066 --> 00:08:56,700
And then, after graduating
from the University of Minnesota
165
00:08:57,766 --> 00:09:00,733
with degrees
in Business and Law..
166
00:09:02,033 --> 00:09:03,633
...I was drafted by
the Canadian Hockey League
167
00:09:03,700 --> 00:09:05,433
where I played for Montreal.
168
00:09:05,500 --> 00:09:08,733
And...although I love the game..
169
00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:12,633
...and our neighbors
to the north..
170
00:09:12,700 --> 00:09:14,300
...I knew that
I had to return home.
171
00:09:14,366 --> 00:09:16,933
I knew, that I had to make
172
00:09:18,166 --> 00:09:20,133
my American dream come true.
173
00:09:21,866 --> 00:09:25,066
And that's when I started my
international banking business.
174
00:09:25,133 --> 00:09:26,600
That doesn't even look like me.
175
00:09:26,666 --> 00:09:29,166
You're right.
Lying can do wonders.
176
00:09:29,233 --> 00:09:32,200
...financial empire
is a success.
177
00:09:32,266 --> 00:09:33,966
I've realized that..
178
00:09:34,033 --> 00:09:37,300
...no matter
how many millions...I make
179
00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:40,933
'I can only drive
one Porsche at a time.'
180
00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:42,900
[exhales]
181
00:09:42,966 --> 00:09:45,233
And sometimes..
182
00:09:45,300 --> 00:09:47,700
...the view from my penthouse
183
00:09:47,766 --> 00:09:49,466
is lonely
184
00:09:49,533 --> 00:09:52,133
without someone
to share it with.
185
00:09:53,433 --> 00:09:55,400
Without that special someone..
186
00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:01,933
'...who will love me
for what I am.'
187
00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:03,233
Perfect.
188
00:10:04,733 --> 00:10:06,466
I can't believe
I said all that stuff.
189
00:10:06,533 --> 00:10:09,433
What's important is that
special someone believes it.
190
00:10:09,500 --> 00:10:11,100
She's out there, waiting.
191
00:10:11,166 --> 00:10:13,666
Waiting for a man, just like
the man that's on that video.
192
00:10:13,733 --> 00:10:16,133
Waiting for you.
193
00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:18,100
And with the help
of Rendezvous patented
194
00:10:18,166 --> 00:10:20,800
date-make computer technology
195
00:10:20,866 --> 00:10:22,833
we're gonna find
the girl of your dreams.
196
00:10:23,633 --> 00:10:25,033
[instrumental music]
197
00:10:25,100 --> 00:10:26,233
[exhales]
198
00:10:31,666 --> 00:10:33,633
[birds chirping]
199
00:10:38,900 --> 00:10:40,533
[groans]
200
00:10:46,233 --> 00:10:47,700
Hey, Gordy.
201
00:10:49,300 --> 00:10:51,633
[instrumental music]
202
00:10:51,700 --> 00:10:54,733
Well, you sure
weren't shy last night.
203
00:10:54,800 --> 00:10:58,000
I don't usually play
those kinds of games.
204
00:10:58,066 --> 00:11:00,466
But I've always wanted to.
205
00:11:00,533 --> 00:11:03,900
I've never been
the aggressive type.
206
00:11:03,966 --> 00:11:05,266
[breathes heavily]
207
00:11:05,333 --> 00:11:06,466
Not till now.
208
00:11:06,533 --> 00:11:09,466
[music continues]
209
00:11:09,533 --> 00:11:11,733
Can't say no to me, Gordy.
210
00:11:11,800 --> 00:11:13,733
You just can't.
211
00:11:15,633 --> 00:11:17,600
[moaning]
212
00:11:25,633 --> 00:11:27,800
[clock buzzing]
213
00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:30,400
[buzzing stops]
214
00:11:37,500 --> 00:11:39,433
[clock ticking]
215
00:11:43,500 --> 00:11:45,600
[telephone rings]
216
00:11:48,333 --> 00:11:50,266
Hello?
217
00:11:50,333 --> 00:11:52,066
(woman on phone)
'Is this Gordy?'
218
00:11:52,133 --> 00:11:54,300
- Yeah.
- 'Uh, hi.'
219
00:11:54,366 --> 00:11:56,200
'My name's Lana.'
220
00:11:56,266 --> 00:11:58,500
'I got your number
from Rendezvous Dating.'
221
00:11:58,566 --> 00:12:00,633
'Mr. Bangor said
he'd given you mine, but..'
222
00:12:00,700 --> 00:12:03,066
'...then,
when you didn't call, well..'
223
00:12:03,133 --> 00:12:06,666
'...I figured I'd have to be
the one to make the first move.'
224
00:12:06,733 --> 00:12:08,766
'I can't believe
I'm actually doing this.'
225
00:12:08,833 --> 00:12:09,800
'I've always wanted to'
226
00:12:09,866 --> 00:12:11,433
'but I've never been'
227
00:12:11,500 --> 00:12:13,133
'the aggressive type.'
228
00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:15,133
'Not till now, anyway.'
229
00:12:16,633 --> 00:12:19,033
Oh, huh, uh, yeah,
Lana. Oh, yeah, I remember.
230
00:12:19,100 --> 00:12:22,300
I do and, uh, um, uh..
231
00:12:22,366 --> 00:12:26,033
'Well...would you like
to go out sometime?'
232
00:12:27,766 --> 00:12:31,266
'Come on, you can't say no,
you just can't.'
233
00:12:31,333 --> 00:12:34,633
Well, no.
I mean, uh, yes. I mean, um..
234
00:12:37,600 --> 00:12:41,033
- How's Saturday night?
- 'Great.'
235
00:12:41,100 --> 00:12:44,533
'I'm really looking forward
to meeting you, Gordy.'
236
00:12:44,600 --> 00:12:46,733
'I hope you're
not disappointed.'
237
00:12:49,533 --> 00:12:52,133
[ticking continues]
238
00:12:53,433 --> 00:12:54,900
[sighs]
239
00:13:02,733 --> 00:13:04,700
[instrumental music]
240
00:13:07,700 --> 00:13:09,000
[sighs]
241
00:13:22,266 --> 00:13:25,500
Hi...I'm Gordon.
242
00:13:25,566 --> 00:13:27,300
Gordy.
243
00:13:27,366 --> 00:13:28,666
(Lana)
'Mary, if that's Gordon'
244
00:13:28,733 --> 00:13:30,333
'tell him I'll be right there.'
245
00:13:31,733 --> 00:13:33,333
Thank you.
246
00:13:33,400 --> 00:13:36,266
So, you're Mary.
247
00:13:36,333 --> 00:13:39,033
Had you worried there
for a minute.
248
00:13:39,100 --> 00:13:40,933
Worried, no, no.
249
00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:42,633
[laughs]
250
00:13:42,700 --> 00:13:45,233
You're not as good a liar
as Lana's other dates.
251
00:13:47,200 --> 00:13:48,833
But you're shorter.
252
00:13:48,900 --> 00:13:51,266
Hi!
253
00:13:51,333 --> 00:13:52,800
Hi.
254
00:13:52,866 --> 00:13:55,366
Well, am I what you expected?
255
00:13:55,433 --> 00:13:56,433
[chuckles]
256
00:13:56,500 --> 00:13:58,933
You're exactly
what I expected.
257
00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:02,733
- Then you're not disappointed.
- Not any more.
258
00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:05,133
It was nice to meet you, Mary.
259
00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:06,633
(Mary)
'You too, Gordy.'
260
00:14:07,933 --> 00:14:09,900
[saxophone music]
261
00:14:20,800 --> 00:14:24,200
Uh, so, umm, I sent..
262
00:14:24,266 --> 00:14:26,166
...the Ferrari to the shop..
263
00:14:26,233 --> 00:14:27,266
...to be painted.
264
00:14:27,333 --> 00:14:29,900
- What color?
- And...the Ferrari?
265
00:14:31,333 --> 00:14:33,866
- Red.
- Oh, I love red.
266
00:14:33,933 --> 00:14:35,933
- You do?
- Yeah.
267
00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:38,600
Great, um, well, then of course
it goes out from under me
268
00:14:38,666 --> 00:14:40,400
you know,
the damn carburetor and..
269
00:14:40,466 --> 00:14:41,500
And it's new?
270
00:14:41,566 --> 00:14:43,433
Brand, right off
the showroom floor
271
00:14:43,500 --> 00:14:47,333
so they stuck me
with this lousy loaner.
272
00:14:47,400 --> 00:14:50,333
You know, Gordy, I maybe blonde,
but I'm not dumb.
273
00:14:50,400 --> 00:14:51,500
'They stopped
putting carburetors'
274
00:14:51,566 --> 00:14:53,733
'in the European models
in 1973'
275
00:14:53,800 --> 00:14:56,533
and in the American models
since '71.
276
00:14:56,600 --> 00:14:59,033
Besides I can really
see you driving around
277
00:14:59,100 --> 00:15:01,100
in a beat-up old loaner.
278
00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:04,933
[car door closed]
279
00:15:10,933 --> 00:15:12,633
Not a guy like you, Gordy.
280
00:15:13,700 --> 00:15:15,633
[instrumental music]
281
00:15:23,866 --> 00:15:26,633
(Lana)
'This restaurant is supposed
to be the best.'
282
00:15:26,700 --> 00:15:29,966
'Everyone says the food
is absolutely fabulous.'
283
00:15:30,033 --> 00:15:32,733
'The owners brought the chef
all the way over from Europe.'
284
00:15:32,800 --> 00:15:34,300
Romania, I think.
285
00:15:36,100 --> 00:15:37,700
Yeah, great glasses.
286
00:15:39,333 --> 00:15:42,066
Oh, this is beautiful, Gordy.
287
00:15:42,133 --> 00:15:44,133
So romantic.
288
00:15:44,200 --> 00:15:46,433
I hear the food here
is wonderful.
289
00:15:46,500 --> 00:15:49,433
Oh, I've never
been here before.
290
00:15:49,500 --> 00:15:51,833
Oh, I like a man who's
not afraid to try something new.
291
00:15:54,433 --> 00:15:55,400
Oh.
292
00:16:02,266 --> 00:16:04,800
Gordy, could we have
some champagne?
293
00:16:04,866 --> 00:16:07,233
Umm, huh?
294
00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:08,966
- Oh, champagne?
- Uh-huh.
295
00:16:09,033 --> 00:16:09,966
Yeah, oh..
296
00:16:10,033 --> 00:16:11,400
Mademoiselle..
297
00:16:11,466 --> 00:16:13,400
[speaking in French]
298
00:16:22,833 --> 00:16:24,800
[speaking in French]
299
00:16:29,400 --> 00:16:30,500
Ooh, la, la.
300
00:16:30,566 --> 00:16:33,100
I didn't know
you spoke French.
301
00:16:33,166 --> 00:16:36,033
- French?
- Uh-huh.
302
00:16:36,100 --> 00:16:38,966
Well, you just sort of pic
that kind of thing up..
303
00:16:39,033 --> 00:16:42,066
...when...you play hockey
for Montreal.
304
00:16:42,133 --> 00:16:44,933
I had to do all of my
Stanley Cup interviews
305
00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:47,000
in English
and
306
00:16:47,066 --> 00:16:49,266
(Lana)
'Oh, you know, it amazes me
how guys like you'
307
00:16:49,333 --> 00:16:51,300
'always know just
the right thing to say.'
308
00:16:52,700 --> 00:16:54,133
Yeah, well,
you sort of get used to that
309
00:16:54,200 --> 00:16:55,766
when you...when you make
310
00:16:55,833 --> 00:16:58,400
umm, uh, small talk.
311
00:16:59,900 --> 00:17:02,033
Although, franc
and the pound are obsolete
312
00:17:02,100 --> 00:17:03,366
in a world run by
the dollar and the yen.
313
00:17:03,433 --> 00:17:04,733
[cork pops]
314
00:17:04,800 --> 00:17:06,733
[screaming]
315
00:17:08,300 --> 00:17:11,333
- Oh, no, this is silk.
- Silk..
316
00:17:12,100 --> 00:17:13,033
[giggles]
317
00:17:19,600 --> 00:17:22,033
Gordy, what are you
staring at?
318
00:17:22,100 --> 00:17:24,200
Sorry.
319
00:17:24,266 --> 00:17:27,266
Well, with a neckline like that,
it's hard not to see.
320
00:17:27,333 --> 00:17:28,800
Oh, no, no, no,
when she opened the bottle
321
00:17:28,866 --> 00:17:31,266
the, the cork,
it-it-it, it..
322
00:17:31,333 --> 00:17:32,766
and then it got
all over your dress
323
00:17:32,833 --> 00:17:36,633
and, and, and,
if-if that stains..
324
00:17:36,700 --> 00:17:38,766
...you can send me
the dry-cleaning bill.
325
00:17:38,833 --> 00:17:41,600
You are so thoughtful.
326
00:17:41,666 --> 00:17:42,866
[blows nose]
327
00:17:42,933 --> 00:17:46,766
Our first date.
328
00:17:46,833 --> 00:17:50,433
I hope that I can make
all your dreams come true.
329
00:18:01,233 --> 00:18:03,433
Uh..
330
00:18:03,500 --> 00:18:05,100
You know, Gordy,
that Rendezvous computer
331
00:18:05,166 --> 00:18:08,033
may turn out to be
a...pretty good matchmaker.
332
00:18:08,100 --> 00:18:10,433
You know, I just, I-I don't
understand what a pretty girl
333
00:18:10,500 --> 00:18:13,266
like you is doing
at a computer dating service.
334
00:18:13,333 --> 00:18:14,933
Pretty girls get lonely too.
335
00:18:16,833 --> 00:18:19,033
I spent lots of Saturday
nights at home.
336
00:18:19,100 --> 00:18:21,033
[indistinct chatter]
337
00:18:27,600 --> 00:18:29,800
Well, it's just lucky
I'm not the jealous type.
338
00:18:34,133 --> 00:18:36,166
Becauseyouare the ki
339
00:18:36,233 --> 00:18:37,866
a girl would kill for.
340
00:18:37,933 --> 00:18:39,933
[intense music]
341
00:18:40,733 --> 00:18:42,833
[screaming]
342
00:18:42,900 --> 00:18:44,166
Oh, my God!
343
00:18:44,233 --> 00:18:45,533
(female #1)
'Ow!'
344
00:18:46,200 --> 00:18:48,300
'Oh!'
345
00:18:50,533 --> 00:18:52,466
Gordy? Are you alright?
346
00:18:52,533 --> 00:18:53,800
[breathing heavily]
347
00:19:03,500 --> 00:19:04,633
Uh..
348
00:19:06,700 --> 00:19:09,166
I-I, uh, I guess I just..
349
00:19:09,233 --> 00:19:11,800
[coughing]
...had a little
too much champagne.
350
00:19:12,666 --> 00:19:14,066
Well, you know what they say.
351
00:19:14,133 --> 00:19:16,433
The more expensive the champagne
352
00:19:16,500 --> 00:19:18,133
the pinker the elephants.
353
00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:19,233
[chuckles]
354
00:19:19,300 --> 00:19:20,566
Right.
355
00:19:20,633 --> 00:19:21,566
[exhales deeply]
356
00:19:21,633 --> 00:19:22,866
You know, Gordy
357
00:19:22,933 --> 00:19:25,033
you've made me feel so special.
358
00:19:25,100 --> 00:19:27,533
The way you thought of no one,
but me all night.
359
00:19:28,933 --> 00:19:31,100
Hah.
360
00:19:31,166 --> 00:19:33,633
I think it's only fair
that, after dinner
361
00:19:33,700 --> 00:19:35,633
we do something you like.
362
00:19:38,633 --> 00:19:41,433
Something I know you do
better than anyone else.
363
00:19:43,466 --> 00:19:44,900
Hmm.
364
00:19:56,266 --> 00:19:57,533
[intense music]
365
00:19:59,133 --> 00:20:00,900
[car engine revving]
366
00:20:04,633 --> 00:20:06,733
How did you get us
in here after hours?
367
00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:08,533
I have my ways.
368
00:20:09,400 --> 00:20:10,600
Ahh.
369
00:20:10,666 --> 00:20:12,000
Isn't it great?
370
00:20:12,066 --> 00:20:14,166
So cool and refreshing.
371
00:20:14,233 --> 00:20:15,733
Freezing's more like it.
372
00:20:16,866 --> 00:20:18,600
Lana, it's late.
373
00:20:19,666 --> 00:20:20,833
Come on, Gordy.
374
00:20:22,700 --> 00:20:24,600
Don't you wanna go to a movie?
375
00:20:26,366 --> 00:20:28,833
I can go to a movie
with any guy, Gordy.
376
00:20:28,900 --> 00:20:30,500
But you're not any guy.
377
00:20:31,133 --> 00:20:32,600
You're special.
378
00:20:36,500 --> 00:20:38,366
Well, you know, um..
379
00:20:38,433 --> 00:20:41,300
I might be a little rusty
from sitting on a desk.
380
00:20:49,700 --> 00:20:51,933
I wouldn't bet
your Stanley Cup on it.
381
00:20:57,300 --> 00:20:59,233
[instrumental music]
382
00:21:26,866 --> 00:21:29,500
[music continues]
383
00:21:29,566 --> 00:21:31,566
You know, Gordy,
I was beginning to think
384
00:21:31,633 --> 00:21:33,700
you didn't like me.
385
00:21:33,766 --> 00:21:35,966
Oh, I like you just fine.
386
00:21:36,033 --> 00:21:39,133
Right now, I'd trade every
Stanley Cup I ever won for you.
387
00:21:39,200 --> 00:21:42,033
Sure, till you've had
your fun with me.
388
00:21:42,100 --> 00:21:43,700
Used me.
389
00:21:43,766 --> 00:21:45,466
I know what guys like you
are like, Gordy.
390
00:21:45,533 --> 00:21:47,933
Always going after
the next girl, the next trophy.
391
00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:49,766
Believe me, Lana.
392
00:21:49,833 --> 00:21:50,933
I'm not like that.
393
00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:52,400
Not now, Gordy.
394
00:21:52,466 --> 00:21:54,000
Why not?
395
00:21:56,866 --> 00:22:00,033
Because, it'sgame time!
396
00:22:00,100 --> 00:22:01,166
Come on, Gordy.
397
00:22:01,233 --> 00:22:03,933
Show me those famous
flashing blades.
398
00:22:05,533 --> 00:22:08,733
I'm-I-m really not very good,
I mean, I-I've got weak ankles!
399
00:22:08,800 --> 00:22:12,733
Let's go, Gordy. You're a pro.
A world champion.
400
00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:17,866
[nervous laughter]
Well, you know, not-not really.
401
00:22:17,933 --> 00:22:21,000
I, uh, maybe I exaggerated
the truth, you know just
402
00:22:21,066 --> 00:22:22,600
'a little bit.'
403
00:22:25,033 --> 00:22:26,300
I've never won a Stanley Cup
404
00:22:26,366 --> 00:22:28,400
and I sure as hell
don't speak French.
405
00:22:28,466 --> 00:22:30,833
Oh. Noparlez vous
406
00:22:30,900 --> 00:22:33,266
No! No! And I sell insurance.
407
00:22:33,333 --> 00:22:35,233
Uh, on commission.
408
00:22:35,300 --> 00:22:38,266
I mean, I could never afford
to-to-to flaunt those fancy cars
409
00:22:38,333 --> 00:22:40,666
'and the, and the apartment on
what Springwood Mutual paid me.'
410
00:22:40,733 --> 00:22:43,300
Are you telling me
you lied, Gordy?
411
00:22:43,366 --> 00:22:44,933
Yes! I lied!
412
00:22:46,800 --> 00:22:48,700
[screaming]
No!
413
00:22:48,766 --> 00:22:50,100
But they were just..
414
00:22:51,600 --> 00:22:52,766
...little lies.
415
00:22:52,833 --> 00:22:55,533
I mean, I-I, um..
416
00:22:55,600 --> 00:22:57,533
...I do it all the time,
everybody does.
417
00:22:57,600 --> 00:22:59,633
But it's not like..
418
00:22:59,700 --> 00:23:02,500
It's...it's not like..
419
00:23:02,566 --> 00:23:04,100
...anybody got hurt.
420
00:23:05,933 --> 00:23:07,900
[engine revving]
421
00:23:13,966 --> 00:23:16,233
Lana, please!
422
00:23:16,866 --> 00:23:18,333
Lana!
423
00:23:19,800 --> 00:23:21,433
'Lana!'
424
00:23:22,700 --> 00:23:24,800
Lana? Lana?
425
00:23:24,866 --> 00:23:26,600
Please, Lana?
426
00:23:27,433 --> 00:23:29,133
Lana?
427
00:23:29,200 --> 00:23:31,833
'Okay, okay, I lied, but
that's-that's not a crime.'
428
00:23:31,900 --> 00:23:34,233
'Well, okay, maybe it is,
but it's a misdemeanor.'
429
00:23:34,300 --> 00:23:36,233
'It's definitely not a felony
and this is definitely cruel'
430
00:23:36,300 --> 00:23:37,933
'unusual punishment!'
431
00:23:39,533 --> 00:23:41,033
Help, Lan-Lana.
432
00:23:42,033 --> 00:23:44,000
[breathing heavily]
433
00:23:44,900 --> 00:23:46,066
Help!
434
00:23:46,133 --> 00:23:47,200
Lana!
435
00:23:47,266 --> 00:23:49,000
[intense music]
436
00:23:51,166 --> 00:23:53,400
Isn't this a wonderful machine?
437
00:23:53,466 --> 00:23:55,666
It does everything it promises.
438
00:23:55,733 --> 00:23:58,633
It makes the ice
so clean and shiny.
439
00:23:59,900 --> 00:24:02,000
You can almost
see yourself in it.
440
00:24:06,066 --> 00:24:08,033
[screaming]
441
00:24:17,100 --> 00:24:19,033
[intense music]
442
00:24:24,400 --> 00:24:25,566
[car horn blaring]
443
00:24:25,633 --> 00:24:28,533
[screeching]
444
00:24:32,166 --> 00:24:34,100
[intense music]
445
00:25:02,400 --> 00:25:04,333
[music continues]
446
00:25:05,566 --> 00:25:08,366
When it comes to flesh..
447
00:25:08,433 --> 00:25:11,233
...the first cut's
always the deepest.
448
00:25:14,600 --> 00:25:15,800
Voila.
449
00:25:15,866 --> 00:25:17,800
[evil laughter]
450
00:25:21,366 --> 00:25:22,533
[theme music]
451
00:25:31,366 --> 00:25:32,800
[instrumental music]
452
00:25:34,066 --> 00:25:36,033
[moaning]
453
00:25:47,866 --> 00:25:49,800
[moaning]
454
00:25:59,666 --> 00:26:01,700
[music continues]
455
00:26:08,400 --> 00:26:10,333
[banging]
456
00:26:12,066 --> 00:26:13,533
[grunting]
457
00:26:14,800 --> 00:26:16,266
What is going on in here?
458
00:26:16,333 --> 00:26:18,800
All that screaming and beating
on this poor machine.
459
00:26:22,400 --> 00:26:24,000
Well, if you're trying
to get fired
460
00:26:24,066 --> 00:26:25,500
you can just forget it.
461
00:26:25,566 --> 00:26:27,733
Because I'm not gonna get stuck
paying your half of the rent
462
00:26:27,800 --> 00:26:29,933
while you're out tryin'
to find another job.
463
00:26:33,100 --> 00:26:34,533
There.
464
00:26:35,966 --> 00:26:37,133
You're always letting
the stupidest
465
00:26:37,200 --> 00:26:39,400
little things upset you.
466
00:26:39,466 --> 00:26:42,200
[sighs]
Ah! I broke a nail.
467
00:26:42,266 --> 00:26:43,733
Oh! Tsk. Wha..
468
00:26:43,800 --> 00:26:45,300
I thought I heard screaming.
469
00:26:45,366 --> 00:26:47,466
Are you alright?
Should we call for help?
470
00:26:47,533 --> 00:26:48,833
Well, unfortunately
my manicurist
471
00:26:48,900 --> 00:26:50,100
doesn't make house calls.
472
00:26:50,166 --> 00:26:51,366
Oh!
473
00:26:51,433 --> 00:26:53,800
Well, you go get that fixe
right away
474
00:26:53,866 --> 00:26:56,300
and take the afternoon off
if you have to.
475
00:26:56,366 --> 00:26:58,133
We wanna make sure
the hand that greets
476
00:26:58,200 --> 00:27:00,900
our Springwood Properties'
clients is a pretty one.
477
00:27:01,866 --> 00:27:03,800
Whatever you say, Mr. Fadiman.
478
00:27:06,700 --> 00:27:08,400
- Oh, Lana.
- Mm-hm.
479
00:27:09,900 --> 00:27:13,133
Mr. Rawley will be flying in
from the coast Saturday night
480
00:27:13,200 --> 00:27:15,633
to sign the escrow papers
on the Welman estate.
481
00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:21,633
That was Milly Stern's listing.
482
00:27:21,700 --> 00:27:23,366
Mrs. Stern made the deal
483
00:27:23,433 --> 00:27:26,033
'with Rawley's construction
company over the phone.'
484
00:27:26,100 --> 00:27:27,533
He'd never guess by the sound
of her voice
485
00:27:27,600 --> 00:27:29,600
she was a grandmother.
486
00:27:29,666 --> 00:27:31,866
I'd like you to close that deal.
487
00:27:31,933 --> 00:27:34,700
Get Rawley that
special personal attention
488
00:27:34,766 --> 00:27:38,033
that the Springwood Realty
is so famous for.
489
00:27:39,233 --> 00:27:41,200
It would be my pleasure.
490
00:27:44,100 --> 00:27:45,733
[phone rings]
491
00:27:47,533 --> 00:27:48,666
(Mr. Fadiman)
'Miss Kelly.'
492
00:27:48,733 --> 00:27:50,600
[typewriter keys clacking]
493
00:27:50,666 --> 00:27:53,133
(female #1)
'Alright, let's set it up
for tomorrow.'
494
00:27:53,200 --> 00:27:54,166
(Mr. Fadiman)
'Where are the copies of my'
495
00:27:54,233 --> 00:27:56,000
Springwood beautification
report?
496
00:27:56,066 --> 00:27:58,900
I need them for tomorrow's
town's council meeting.
497
00:27:58,966 --> 00:28:01,233
I'll have them for you
by the end of the day.
498
00:28:01,300 --> 00:28:03,300
As you can see things have been
499
00:28:03,366 --> 00:28:04,766
pretty busy around here lately.
500
00:28:04,833 --> 00:28:06,033
It's about time
501
00:28:06,100 --> 00:28:08,766
the market went soft
after that Kruger business.
502
00:28:08,833 --> 00:28:10,500
But people are finally
starting to see
503
00:28:10,566 --> 00:28:12,866
that Springwood's
just like any other town.
504
00:28:12,933 --> 00:28:14,500
Only with affordable housing.
505
00:28:14,566 --> 00:28:16,366
'And Rawley building
his shopping center'
506
00:28:16,433 --> 00:28:17,766
'on the Welman estate'
507
00:28:17,833 --> 00:28:20,733
won't hurt the town's new
upwardly mobile image either.
508
00:28:20,800 --> 00:28:24,333
He's gonna tear down
that beautiful old house?
509
00:28:24,400 --> 00:28:26,966
Beauty is in the eye
of the deed holder.
510
00:28:27,033 --> 00:28:28,900
'Anyway it was condemned
weeks ago.'
511
00:28:28,966 --> 00:28:32,200
'Rawley just saved us the price
and the trouble of a bulldozer.'
512
00:28:32,266 --> 00:28:35,533
I wish we could get rid of all
this town's eyesores so easily.
513
00:28:38,866 --> 00:28:40,800
[machine whirring]
514
00:28:44,000 --> 00:28:45,933
[intense music]
515
00:28:51,866 --> 00:28:52,900
[chuckles]
516
00:28:52,966 --> 00:28:55,066
Copier copier in the hall.
517
00:28:55,133 --> 00:28:57,700
Who's the fairest
of them all?
518
00:28:57,766 --> 00:28:59,866
Ain't me.
519
00:28:59,933 --> 00:29:01,933
[evil laughter]
520
00:29:09,800 --> 00:29:11,733
[instrumental music]
521
00:29:36,333 --> 00:29:38,033
What do you think?
522
00:29:45,166 --> 00:29:47,100
'It's not too tight, is it?'
523
00:29:48,366 --> 00:29:49,633
[sighs]
524
00:29:49,700 --> 00:29:51,733
I feel like an elephant
after eating that big dinner
525
00:29:51,800 --> 00:29:53,666
atLe
526
00:29:53,733 --> 00:29:56,400
Is it as nice as everyone says?
527
00:29:56,466 --> 00:29:57,900
The food is good.
528
00:29:57,966 --> 00:29:59,933
The service is kinda spotty.
529
00:30:01,533 --> 00:30:03,766
I was gonna buy it in red but..
530
00:30:03,833 --> 00:30:06,100
...I figured black would be more
appropriate for the office.
531
00:30:06,166 --> 00:30:08,400
You bought that for the office?
532
00:30:08,466 --> 00:30:10,566
Well, my meeting with Rawley
is on company time.
533
00:30:10,633 --> 00:30:12,666
Anyway Fadiman paid for it.
534
00:30:12,733 --> 00:30:15,133
You should've told him
to stick it.
535
00:30:15,200 --> 00:30:18,200
I thought I'd give Mr. Rawley
first chance at this hot
536
00:30:18,266 --> 00:30:21,500
little property, that's
currently on the market...me!
537
00:30:21,566 --> 00:30:26,133
You think your Mr. Rawley is
in the market for a Mrs. Rawley?
538
00:30:26,200 --> 00:30:27,933
I'm not into job titles
539
00:30:28,000 --> 00:30:29,933
so long as the salary's right.
540
00:30:31,966 --> 00:30:34,600
I know, I know.
541
00:30:34,666 --> 00:30:36,600
A woman should be valued
for who she is
542
00:30:36,666 --> 00:30:39,100
and not what
she looks like, right?
543
00:30:39,166 --> 00:30:40,466
'The way I see it'
544
00:30:40,533 --> 00:30:42,833
life's just
one big beauty pageant.
545
00:30:42,900 --> 00:30:44,766
Like it or not we are all
contestants from the minut
546
00:30:44,833 --> 00:30:47,200
they slap your butt and tell
your daddy, it's a girl.
547
00:30:48,400 --> 00:30:50,466
The only choice we have..
548
00:30:50,533 --> 00:30:52,966
...is weather to be winners..
549
00:30:53,033 --> 00:30:54,466
...or losers.
550
00:30:54,533 --> 00:30:56,533
Not everybody has that choice.
551
00:30:58,100 --> 00:30:59,733
Everybody has a choice.
552
00:30:59,800 --> 00:31:01,800
'You can look like
anybody you want.'
553
00:31:02,766 --> 00:31:04,400
Pick a face, any face.
554
00:31:04,466 --> 00:31:06,666
And a whole new body.
555
00:31:06,733 --> 00:31:09,800
I know a guy who can mix
and match 'em however you want.
556
00:31:09,866 --> 00:31:13,200
His name wouldn't happen to be
Dr. Frankenstein, would it?
557
00:31:13,266 --> 00:31:14,600
[chuckles]
558
00:31:14,666 --> 00:31:17,533
Very funny!
No, his name is Tony.
559
00:31:17,600 --> 00:31:19,300
'The guy's a miracle worker.'
560
00:31:20,700 --> 00:31:23,000
To make me beautiful,
he'd have to be.
561
00:31:24,500 --> 00:31:26,533
It's too late to make
a big decision tonight.
562
00:31:28,033 --> 00:31:30,066
[sighs]
563
00:31:30,133 --> 00:31:32,266
So you just think about it and..
564
00:31:32,333 --> 00:31:34,133
...let me know in the morning.
565
00:31:34,200 --> 00:31:36,133
[instrumental music]
566
00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:46,933
[instrumental music]
567
00:31:50,400 --> 00:31:51,700
Lana..
568
00:31:53,000 --> 00:31:55,200
...I'm not
so sure about this.
569
00:31:55,266 --> 00:31:56,833
Hmm.
570
00:31:56,900 --> 00:31:59,133
What price beauty?
571
00:31:59,200 --> 00:32:01,166
Just put it
on your credit card.
572
00:32:01,233 --> 00:32:03,200
It's not just the money.
573
00:32:04,333 --> 00:32:06,166
What if it doesn't
turn out right?
574
00:32:06,233 --> 00:32:08,733
Mary, let's be honest.
575
00:32:08,800 --> 00:32:10,833
What have you got to lose?
576
00:32:10,900 --> 00:32:12,866
You'll love Tony.
He's the best.
577
00:32:12,933 --> 00:32:15,366
The absolute best.
578
00:32:15,433 --> 00:32:17,000
Relax.
579
00:32:17,066 --> 00:32:19,100
There's nothing
to be afraid of.
580
00:32:19,166 --> 00:32:20,133
[scream]
581
00:32:20,200 --> 00:32:21,633
[laughing]
582
00:32:23,500 --> 00:32:25,466
I told you, didn't I?
583
00:32:25,533 --> 00:32:27,033
You're beautiful.
584
00:32:27,100 --> 00:32:29,566
Now give it a toss.
585
00:32:29,633 --> 00:32:31,966
Yeah, that's it.
586
00:32:32,033 --> 00:32:34,300
See how the hair
brings out the eyes
587
00:32:34,366 --> 00:32:37,366
'and frames those
exquisite cheek bones'
588
00:32:37,433 --> 00:32:39,233
and that cute little nose.
589
00:32:39,300 --> 00:32:40,700
[grunts]
590
00:32:40,766 --> 00:32:43,333
Oh, this is what
it's all about for me.
591
00:32:43,400 --> 00:32:45,933
[music continues]
592
00:32:46,000 --> 00:32:47,300
Making women happy.
593
00:32:47,366 --> 00:32:48,633
[chuckles]
594
00:32:55,633 --> 00:32:58,433
So...you must be Mary.
595
00:33:00,833 --> 00:33:02,600
She's a little nervous.
596
00:33:04,100 --> 00:33:06,533
Well, you're standing right
next to some of my best work.
597
00:33:08,266 --> 00:33:10,733
So, Mary, are you ready?
598
00:33:12,033 --> 00:33:13,300
Go on.
599
00:33:17,233 --> 00:33:19,200
[intense music]
600
00:33:26,666 --> 00:33:28,600
Okay, Mary,
what'll it be?
601
00:33:30,700 --> 00:33:33,233
Make me pretty.
602
00:33:33,300 --> 00:33:35,600
Well, pretty is,
as pretty does.
603
00:33:37,866 --> 00:33:39,766
Make me beautiful.
604
00:33:39,833 --> 00:33:41,266
Babe..
605
00:33:41,333 --> 00:33:43,333
...beauty's only skin deep
606
00:33:43,400 --> 00:33:46,166
The stuff that really counts,
that's inside.
607
00:33:46,233 --> 00:33:47,233
Yeah, well, I'd kinda like to
608
00:33:47,300 --> 00:33:49,433
try it on the outside
for a while.
609
00:33:49,500 --> 00:33:50,900
Okay.
610
00:33:50,966 --> 00:33:53,100
You're the one who's gotta shave
in the morning.
611
00:33:54,400 --> 00:33:56,433
To me..
612
00:33:56,500 --> 00:33:59,066
...you're perfect.
613
00:33:59,133 --> 00:34:01,466
But if you wanna be different..
614
00:34:01,533 --> 00:34:03,033
...I'll make you different
615
00:34:04,200 --> 00:34:06,133
I know exactly what I want
616
00:34:07,300 --> 00:34:08,433
Baby..
617
00:34:08,500 --> 00:34:10,000
...you and the rest
of the female race
618
00:34:10,066 --> 00:34:12,533
haven't the slightest
idea what you want.
619
00:34:14,533 --> 00:34:17,833
I can remember when
all the women wanted in life
620
00:34:17,900 --> 00:34:20,466
was to be somebody's wife.
621
00:34:20,533 --> 00:34:24,166
Mrs. Anybody
was better than being Miss..
622
00:34:24,233 --> 00:34:26,466
Unless it was Miss America.
623
00:34:26,533 --> 00:34:29,966
Now, she doesn't want to be
Miss America at all.
624
00:34:30,033 --> 00:34:31,633
She wants to be President.
625
00:34:31,700 --> 00:34:33,133
Or better yet..
626
00:34:33,200 --> 00:34:35,033
...the President's wife.
627
00:34:35,100 --> 00:34:36,700
All the power..
628
00:34:36,766 --> 00:34:39,466
...and none
of the responsibilities.
629
00:34:39,533 --> 00:34:42,966
You just wanted
to be taken care of.
630
00:34:43,033 --> 00:34:44,900
Then you wanted your space.
631
00:34:44,966 --> 00:34:46,466
And not too much space.
632
00:34:46,533 --> 00:34:48,200
Because what you really wanted..
633
00:34:48,266 --> 00:34:50,166
...was intimacy.
634
00:34:50,233 --> 00:34:52,200
[Mary groaning]
635
00:34:55,433 --> 00:34:57,400
[instrumental music]
636
00:35:00,100 --> 00:35:02,533
'You told us, you wanted a man'
637
00:35:02,600 --> 00:35:05,200
who would let you be free.
638
00:35:07,333 --> 00:35:09,933
But not unless, he was willing
to make a commitment.
639
00:35:10,000 --> 00:35:11,933
[groaning]
640
00:35:12,866 --> 00:35:15,733
'Now, I like pretty girls.'
641
00:35:15,800 --> 00:35:16,866
'But it's like..'
642
00:35:16,933 --> 00:35:18,866
'...looking at the Mona Lisa.'
643
00:35:18,933 --> 00:35:22,833
'Oh, sure,
it's a great painting, but uh..'
644
00:35:22,900 --> 00:35:24,833
'...I don't wanna
take her home.'
645
00:35:26,633 --> 00:35:28,066
(Mary)
'Ah!'
646
00:35:28,133 --> 00:35:29,300
I like, uh..
647
00:35:29,366 --> 00:35:30,700
...smart women.
648
00:35:30,766 --> 00:35:32,133
A woman who'd know
how to listen.
649
00:35:33,400 --> 00:35:35,100
And uh..
650
00:35:35,166 --> 00:35:36,300
...funny women.
651
00:35:36,366 --> 00:35:38,333
Women who make me laugh.
652
00:35:39,533 --> 00:35:42,133
'Now, the new
woman is different.'
653
00:35:42,200 --> 00:35:45,133
'She's not about to change her
name when she gets married.'
654
00:35:46,400 --> 00:35:48,900
'Yet, she doesn't think twice'
655
00:35:48,966 --> 00:35:51,600
'about changing
her face and body.'
656
00:35:51,666 --> 00:35:53,700
- Ow!
- 'Anything and everything.'
657
00:35:54,800 --> 00:35:56,800
- 'And all of it for love.'
- Ah!
658
00:35:56,866 --> 00:35:58,833
[Mary screaming]
659
00:36:03,733 --> 00:36:06,133
God, I love women.
660
00:36:06,200 --> 00:36:08,133
[laughing]
661
00:36:14,233 --> 00:36:15,700
[gasps]
662
00:36:15,766 --> 00:36:17,800
Oh, Mary,
you're beautiful.
663
00:36:19,100 --> 00:36:21,300
Really beautiful!
664
00:36:21,366 --> 00:36:22,966
And you!
665
00:36:23,033 --> 00:36:24,400
You're a genius!
666
00:36:24,466 --> 00:36:26,433
Well, I'm just here
to make you happy.
667
00:36:27,400 --> 00:36:29,866
This is what my life is about.
668
00:36:29,933 --> 00:36:32,066
I just can't help it.
669
00:36:32,133 --> 00:36:33,433
I love women.
670
00:36:33,500 --> 00:36:34,933
Thanks.
671
00:36:36,733 --> 00:36:38,700
[chuckling]
672
00:36:41,633 --> 00:36:44,500
She didn't even
leave a tip.
673
00:36:44,566 --> 00:36:47,133
I still can't believe
it's really me.
674
00:36:47,200 --> 00:36:50,066
It's just the way
I dreamed it.
675
00:36:50,133 --> 00:36:51,533
Now, that you're different
everything's going
676
00:36:51,600 --> 00:36:52,966
to be different.
677
00:36:53,033 --> 00:36:55,133
It's just the way
I dreamed it.
678
00:36:56,200 --> 00:36:57,333
Now..
679
00:36:57,400 --> 00:37:00,500
...I have one more
little surprise for you.
680
00:37:00,566 --> 00:37:02,200
You have a date
tomorrow night
681
00:37:02,266 --> 00:37:03,933
with Mr. Rawley.
682
00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:05,333
What?
683
00:37:05,400 --> 00:37:07,533
Well, what else can you
give a girl who has everything
684
00:37:07,600 --> 00:37:08,933
except a man.
685
00:37:10,233 --> 00:37:12,033
[sighs]
Fadiman will kill us.
686
00:37:12,100 --> 00:37:13,866
We'll both get fired.
687
00:37:13,933 --> 00:37:16,933
All he cares about is keeping
the customers satisfied.
688
00:37:18,900 --> 00:37:22,333
And I think Mr. Rawley
will be very satisfied.
689
00:37:24,133 --> 00:37:25,866
Do you really think so?
690
00:37:25,933 --> 00:37:28,200
Of course he will.
691
00:37:28,266 --> 00:37:30,700
When everyone was all upset
about the ol' Welman estate
692
00:37:30,766 --> 00:37:33,933
being torn down because
it was special and unique.
693
00:37:34,000 --> 00:37:35,833
Mr. Rawley was the one
with the vision to see
694
00:37:35,900 --> 00:37:38,766
that these things
just weren't important.
695
00:37:38,833 --> 00:37:41,466
As part of the Springwood
beautification project.
696
00:37:41,533 --> 00:37:43,600
It had to go.
697
00:37:43,666 --> 00:37:45,200
Buildings, people.
698
00:37:45,833 --> 00:37:47,833
Pretty is pretty.
699
00:37:47,900 --> 00:37:50,000
And you're beautiful.
700
00:37:54,000 --> 00:37:56,900
Lana, I don't know
how to thank you.
701
00:37:56,966 --> 00:38:00,266
Don't thank me.
You did it.
702
00:38:00,333 --> 00:38:01,866
'You knew what you wanted.'
703
00:38:01,933 --> 00:38:04,166
You wanted to be perfect.
704
00:38:04,233 --> 00:38:06,100
And now you are.
705
00:38:06,166 --> 00:38:07,600
'So enjoy yourself.'
706
00:38:09,033 --> 00:38:10,900
You deserve it.
707
00:38:10,966 --> 00:38:14,000
You know, I used to think
that you just kept me around
708
00:38:14,066 --> 00:38:17,533
so you'd look even more
beautiful by comparison.
709
00:38:18,333 --> 00:38:20,400
But I was wrong.
710
00:38:21,900 --> 00:38:24,433
[instrumental music]
711
00:38:50,200 --> 00:38:52,533
[music continues]
712
00:39:14,033 --> 00:39:15,333
[sighs]
713
00:39:19,100 --> 00:39:20,200
[moans]
714
00:39:32,100 --> 00:39:33,900
Lana, Lana!
715
00:39:33,966 --> 00:39:37,433
Aren't you gonna introduce me
to your friend?
716
00:39:37,500 --> 00:39:40,933
It's me,
Mr. Fadiman. Mary.
717
00:39:41,000 --> 00:39:43,933
Of course. Mary.
718
00:39:44,000 --> 00:39:46,433
I told her
no one would recognize her.
719
00:39:46,500 --> 00:39:49,733
It's amazing
what a new hairdo and, uh..
720
00:39:49,800 --> 00:39:51,566
...a little makeup will do.
721
00:39:51,633 --> 00:39:52,966
Amazing.
722
00:39:53,033 --> 00:39:54,333
Oh, well,
I better get back to work.
723
00:39:54,400 --> 00:39:55,933
Wait, wait, Mary. Wait.
724
00:39:56,000 --> 00:39:58,600
But don't you need those copies
of your beautification reports.
725
00:39:58,666 --> 00:40:00,233
I think it's time
726
00:40:00,300 --> 00:40:03,166
you started working out here
on the floor.
727
00:40:03,233 --> 00:40:05,400
We could even get you
your own desk.
728
00:40:05,466 --> 00:40:07,766
Yes, right here by the window.
729
00:40:07,833 --> 00:40:11,600
AndI
your first clients for you
730
00:40:11,666 --> 00:40:13,966
Mary, this is
Mr. and Mrs. Winters
731
00:40:14,033 --> 00:40:16,300
and their
two adorable children.
732
00:40:16,366 --> 00:40:18,266
I know Mary will be able
to find you
733
00:40:18,333 --> 00:40:20,533
the house of your dreams.
734
00:40:20,600 --> 00:40:22,200
I'm sure you'll be
every bit as happy
735
00:40:22,266 --> 00:40:24,066
in Springwood as I have been.
736
00:40:24,133 --> 00:40:25,966
[telephone ringing]
737
00:40:26,033 --> 00:40:29,433
Mr. Rawley's plane was due
in over an hour ago.
738
00:40:29,500 --> 00:40:31,600
He'll be here.
739
00:40:31,666 --> 00:40:33,966
Are you sure this is alright
with Fadiman?
740
00:40:34,033 --> 00:40:36,833
Mary, there's no sense
in being beautiful
741
00:40:36,900 --> 00:40:40,066
if you're not gonna
start acting like it.
742
00:40:40,133 --> 00:40:42,366
(Rawley)
Hello!
743
00:40:42,433 --> 00:40:43,900
Hello, Mr. Rawley.
744
00:40:43,966 --> 00:40:46,166
I'm Lana.
This is my associate Mary.
745
00:40:46,233 --> 00:40:47,833
She's gonna help you
with the paperwork.
746
00:40:47,900 --> 00:40:50,433
'So you can close the escrow
on the Welman property.'
747
00:40:50,500 --> 00:40:53,200
But Mr. Fadiman told me
I would be dealing with you.
748
00:40:54,766 --> 00:40:58,766
But I think this arrangement
is going to work out just fine.
749
00:40:58,833 --> 00:41:00,466
All we want
here at Springwood Properties
750
00:41:00,533 --> 00:41:03,600
is to make sure the clients
leaves completely satisfied.
751
00:41:04,766 --> 00:41:06,133
Mary, would you mind terribly
752
00:41:06,200 --> 00:41:07,400
if we went over
some of this paperwork
753
00:41:07,466 --> 00:41:09,066
back at my hotel room?
754
00:41:09,133 --> 00:41:10,600
Hm. Alright.
755
00:41:21,766 --> 00:41:23,033
[honking]
756
00:41:31,266 --> 00:41:33,400
(Rawley)
'Aren't you hungry?'
757
00:41:33,466 --> 00:41:35,733
(Mary)
'I thought I was.'
758
00:41:35,800 --> 00:41:37,666
(Rawley)
I was gonna have him send up
a couple of steaks
759
00:41:37,733 --> 00:41:40,566
but you said
you loved caviar.
760
00:41:40,633 --> 00:41:42,366
I do.
761
00:41:42,433 --> 00:41:44,566
It just didn't taste
very good to me tonight.
762
00:41:44,633 --> 00:41:47,400
That stuff never taste
any good.
763
00:41:47,466 --> 00:41:49,833
But then I really
didn't have much of an appetite.
764
00:41:52,166 --> 00:41:53,666
You're probably bored
with men telling you
765
00:41:53,733 --> 00:41:55,733
how beautiful you are.
766
00:41:55,800 --> 00:41:57,300
I don't know how anybody
could ever get tired
767
00:41:57,366 --> 00:41:59,333
of hearing
a thing like that.
768
00:42:02,900 --> 00:42:04,933
Is that a no?
769
00:42:05,700 --> 00:42:08,266
You just surprised me.
770
00:42:08,333 --> 00:42:09,566
Well, then..
771
00:42:09,633 --> 00:42:11,700
Shall we get down to business?
772
00:42:22,933 --> 00:42:24,433
Come on, relax.
773
00:42:27,633 --> 00:42:30,100
You can't tell me
that doesn't feel good.
774
00:42:30,166 --> 00:42:31,733
What?
775
00:42:31,800 --> 00:42:33,166
That.
776
00:42:33,233 --> 00:42:34,733
[sighs]
777
00:42:40,300 --> 00:42:42,666
- Am I hurting you?
- No.
778
00:42:42,733 --> 00:42:45,233
I just don't feel anything
779
00:42:45,300 --> 00:42:48,200
Oh. Maybe
I'm not hurting you enough.
780
00:42:53,200 --> 00:42:54,500
What are those?
781
00:42:59,333 --> 00:43:01,100
I have seen
some bad boob jobs
782
00:43:01,166 --> 00:43:02,800
but those are the worst.
783
00:43:02,866 --> 00:43:04,866
You really ought to
get your money back.
784
00:43:04,933 --> 00:43:07,700
No offence,
but they just don't look real.
785
00:43:09,433 --> 00:43:11,766
In fact you should sue,
that's malpractice.
786
00:43:11,833 --> 00:43:13,466
'You should be compensated.'
787
00:43:13,533 --> 00:43:16,000
'I'll put you in touch
with my attorney if you like.'
788
00:43:16,733 --> 00:43:19,433
[gasps]
No! No!
789
00:43:20,533 --> 00:43:22,266
Come on, calm down.
790
00:43:22,333 --> 00:43:24,100
Take it easy, honey.
They can fix it.
791
00:43:24,166 --> 00:43:26,100
They can fix anything.
792
00:43:27,800 --> 00:43:29,233
'Take it easy.
What are you doing with that?'
793
00:43:29,300 --> 00:43:33,100
'Don't be crazy!
Stop that, for God's sake!'
794
00:43:33,166 --> 00:43:34,533
'I'm sorry.'
795
00:43:41,600 --> 00:43:43,766
I told you,
once you were different
796
00:43:43,833 --> 00:43:45,966
everything would be different.
797
00:43:46,033 --> 00:43:48,300
But you wanted to be perfect.
798
00:43:48,366 --> 00:43:50,566
And now you are..
799
00:43:50,633 --> 00:43:52,633
...so enjoy yourself.
800
00:43:54,433 --> 00:43:56,000
(as Freddy)
You deserve it.
801
00:44:01,633 --> 00:44:03,833
[grunts]
802
00:44:03,900 --> 00:44:05,400
[glass shattering]
803
00:44:11,066 --> 00:44:13,300
I swear to you,
I didn't do it.
804
00:44:13,366 --> 00:44:15,700
Call Fadiman at
Springwood Properties again.
805
00:44:15,766 --> 00:44:17,933
If he's not there,
call her friend Lana.
806
00:44:18,000 --> 00:44:20,366
God, I don't even know
her last name.
807
00:44:20,433 --> 00:44:22,200
[indistinct]
808
00:44:23,933 --> 00:44:26,366
(male #1)
'A piece of mirror sliced right
through her jugular.'
809
00:44:26,433 --> 00:44:28,633
(male #2)
'Yeah, not much
of a looker, huh?'
810
00:44:28,700 --> 00:44:30,433
(male #1)
'You ever seen
a good-lookin' corpse?'
811
00:44:30,500 --> 00:44:32,533
(male #2)
'Uh, yeah.'
812
00:44:34,833 --> 00:44:36,900
[dramatic music]
813
00:44:44,133 --> 00:44:49,033
Remember, beauty's
only skin-deep.
814
00:44:55,400 --> 00:44:57,333
'All that really counts..'
815
00:45:00,233 --> 00:45:02,300
...is what's inside.
816
00:45:02,366 --> 00:45:04,000
[laughing]
817
00:45:11,733 --> 00:45:13,000
[theme music]
818
00:45:17,333 --> 00:45:19,300
[theme music]
56455
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