All language subtitles for Klassikokkutulek.2016

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Joonas, put your sneakers away.

Everything okay? - Yeah.

The cheap toilet paper you bought,
makes your butt tender.

If you want girls to like you,
try to look more like a man.

You, old clutch, don't know
the first thing about this.

What? - When you last scored,
mobile phones weighed, like, 12 kg.

Does it have to be so dim here?

What sort of a scribble is this?

How rude! They knew it goes
to a gentleman over 40.

Let me read it.

"Hello, graduates"
"of the most wicked class."

It's 25 years from graduation
and we invite you to a reunion.

There'll be a reunion.

Everyone has been assigned a task.

You have the best one. A speech.
I'll have to give a speech? - Yes.

They've even included a class photo.

Let me see.

Where are you? - An old hazy photo.

See, I'm here. - That kind of hairdo.

You're so young and cheerful.

Look, Toomas and Andres, too.
We were mad guys. Oh dear.

Jesus, 25 years... - Yep, 25 years.

Double my life and even more.

How's that? - You're an old clutch.

You calculate wrong, boy! Damned!

Mart... - Yes, boss.

When I came to lead this office,

I thought I'll bring some life,
some sparkle, but hey...

Come on, dude. What is this?

This rocket of yours will not launch.

Doesn't rip out of the atmosphere.
It falls back to this ocean of shit.

Ocean of shit? - It has to be sexier.

We're making ads, not obituaries.

It's a description of loan terms.
Small print. - Still too dry.

So, anyway. Find a new gear and...
Try to keep pace.

Try to keep pace! New gear! A kid!

Hello, Mart!

You are Mart, right? A classmate.

You're so wrinkled!

It's good that you were young
and handsome when I met you.

What? - Kidding!

You mean I would have
no chance with you now? - Mart!

That's what you meant! - Stop it.

Wait! Let me enter again

and you look at me
as if for the first time.

Ready? - Yes.

I'm coming.

Tell me, how is it. But honestly.

That man should relax a bit,
or he'll get cramps.

I'm not exciting you anymore.
Too old. - You're not!

You're just not a boy anymore.
No reason for a midlife crisis.

What midlife crisis? - Good.

I don't want to go that reunion.

What sall I say to them?

You have haemorrhoids.
Normal for a man of your age.

It's just too crude toilet paper.

I'll take a look deeper, too,
while we are at it.

Relax, I can't move my finger.

Everything gets dafter with time.

Eyesight weakens, and hearing,
now you mess up shitting, too.

Relax, I can't pull out my finger.

I'll prescribe you an ointment.

Then prescribe antidepressants, too.

They don't make you any younger.

You'll be in the very same hole,
but number. - So what should I do?

Apply it twice a day. With finger.
The deeper the better. Here you go.

I don't see, hear or excite.
Now there's a finger up my ass, too.

Nice to get signed properly again.

Again? Have we met before? - Yeah.

In Tartu. An after-party of a show.

Gas station. WC. Changing table.

You have a new hairdo or what? - No.

Oh, now I remember you.

Fell asleep or what? - No.

Just getting started, sweetie.

Hello.
Let's be quiet. Good boy.

Good morning. - Hello, Lea.

You were here and didn't wake me?

Where are you going?

I thought I'll go get some pastries.
To have with coffee. - Toomas...

Yeah.

Take me a cinnamon roll.
- Okay.

Astronaut!
- Tom! You startled me.

You need a helmet for these pastries?
- Better safe than sorry.

What can I get you?
- One moment...

I'll...
- Three buns, please.

See? I just don't exist.
As if I'm ashes spilled into the sea.

What would you like?
- One moment.

Hey. A ciabatta and four croissants.

Did you hear about Andres?
- What?

Anything else? - Yeah!
These buns down there...

It didn't work out for him and Anne.

He was on online porn
and she took up Pilates.

So Anne split with the instructor.

The young slimeball
twisted legs behind head and...

A Pilates instructor stole Anne?

A 29-year-old guy.
Name's Ken Priidik. - Bastard.

What's down there?
- Spelta rolls.

I don't want any.
- We'll take two.

25 years of marriage gone.

Don't think he comes to the reunion.

Hey man, what are you doing there?

Chillax. Weren't you young once, too?

I didn't piss on every wall then.

Mart, let him be.
- What? It's gross.

What's going on with you?
- I don't know.

I think I'm starting to grasp
that I'll be just an old guy soon.

Probably already am.

Wow, man. Really, wow.

You have to get more fresh air.

Haven't been out for a while now.

Your machinery needs exercise.
Or it'll get rusty down there.

I don't cheat on Juta.
- Listen...

You can't rely solely on marriage.

Says a guy who has never had
a steady relationship.

Look what's going on around us.
Everyone in our age is divorcing.

As we are fed up of each other.

Steady relationship!

We need to feel sexy. Wanted.

Then your relationship stays erect.

I don't want to.
- Think of Andres.

I'm not coming to the reunion.

Can't give your speech?
- About what? My haemorrhoids?

Or that my wife doesn't want me?

Or that my kids think of me
as an useless home appliance

that's not WiFi-controlled? - Relax.

You know what?

We'll go out for a good old palooza.

Like old times. The three of us.
A serious party.

Next day, we storm the reunion
like three young studs.

And you give your grand speech.

Hey, let's do it for Andres.

Dickhead.
- Now we're talking.

Pervert!
- We'll rock!

Your haemorrhoid ointment.
- Thanks.

Daddy! - Wait one second.

It does not open!

What is it? - My cap's in there.
The lock must be broken. - Daddy!

A moment, please, sweetie.

I'ts dark, too, as in a mole hole.

See, I told you.

Silly, right? I'm not going.
- Daddy!

Wait! I'll make a fool of myself.

Daddy! - Will you leave me alone?

Sorry.

That was not nice, Mart. - I know.

Mart, you must do something!

Toomas! Wait. Take this, too.

To show to the others
when they brag with their kids.

Thanks.
- Have a good party.

Hey, Mart.

This can won't get us any chicks.

Hey, Lea!

Dudes! Hello!

Everything okay?
- Bleeding okay.

Step on it, geezer.
Farewell, reason!

What's the story with this thing?

Helium, for balloons. And you?
Surprise! I'll have to sing.

Mart will give a speech. - Congrats!

I couldn't have thought of anything
nice to say to these vultures.

Thanks, much better now to write it.

So you're with Lea again?
We're not together.

How come? - Just like...

What's that? - Put it away.

What's this here for? - Put it away.

To steer and reep your nose hair?

Sometimes, there's a longer...
Put it away. - No, I'll need it.

I have antennas in my canyon.
- Give it to me. - Alright...

Is Anne coming, too?

I don't know. I'm not talking to her.
- At all? - No.

And what about your son?
- That's the worst thing.

I'm seeing him twice less.
Women!

A Pilates ball,
sweaty tanned ape and that's it.

But it sort of gives you freedom.

Don't have to mess around
with your wife and son. - Toomas!

Unlike you, I like children.
- I don't? - You don't have any!

Fucking kindergarten!

Stop it!

I didn't signal.

Tell them your mean schlong slipped.

That you are a mean fucker.
- Shut the fuck up!

Friends...

It's green. Drive, fucker.

Drive!

We'll have guests.

Hitting babes or driving, eh?

Hitting babes and driving.

Three horny old scumbags
on a Berlingo. Cool!

Sod off before I get mad.

He gets mad... Fucking faggot.

Andres, where are you going?

Don't like horny old men or what?

I'll show you horny! - Andres...

Fucking greasy rubberface!
Stealing our women and pissing...

Quite a pretty girl.

Got your song in my phone. - Yeah?

Should you like to hear it live,
you know my room number.

I'm in the same room, by the way.

I have to think about my speech.

You'll have time. Don't worry.

Listen, I have a brilliant plan.
We'll tune our shape for the evening.

I'm okay, but you have to.
Or you spoil my chances, too.

You have this to get rid of
and you have to put on a bit.

I had a muscle. Just have to find it.
- An ultrasound will not find mine.

Hard candies.

This chick is pretty hot.

Not overdoing it with weights?

Some time back, it was easy.

Is it Lea? - No, not Lea.

Crazy chick. You don't want to know.

Why couldn't you live with Lea?
Make a pile of nice babies and...

I'll drink some water.

What do you think, what's wrong?

What if Lea doesn't want kids?

I don't know. Generally, women...

They want.

Are you planning for some more?

We are planning sterilizing me.

What the fuck? Why?

Two's enough.
Juta will be 40, too.

I'm not talking about that.
Why are you hitting that woman?

I said that I liked her first.

I thought I'll test the...
readiness of the machinery.

That's not fair!

A friend does not blink
his horny lights to the window

where I have just pointed
my charming candlelight!

Maybe you should relax, too.
Before looking for a wife. - Yeah.

And leave all the babes
for you and Toomas? No way.

High school has made us
almost brothers in arms.

The endless tests, the parties...

Would this suit the speech?

High school made pathetic
scared midlifers out of us.

What are you pouting about?

We'll dance ourselves free.

It's doomed to be a fiasco for me.
Too strong stink of a loser.

I was left like a rabid guinea pig.

God! - What?

You have shaved your groin?

Of course.

These old school fur sacks
will not score you anything.

I'm wondering if this
Pilates instructor of Anne...

This Ken Priidik. Is he shaven, too?
- He's, like, 29, right?

Positively shaven.
- Fucking slippery slime.

The other option is that this kid
does not grow any hair down there.

Hairy used to be more masculine.

You know who are hairy these days?
Hipsters and bums.

Neither are hunting women.

Shit, pubic hair is retro, too?
Like cassettes and vinyls. - Exactly!

You shave, you score.
You don't, you dry your bush alone.

What'd you say? - What?

Well, I'm in, but only if you are.

Yeah, very good.
Let's trim your bunches and...

Shit, I'll hit the loo first.

We're not going to... - Wait!

Think what it would mean
for him to get a woman!

It's for a friend, man!
- I should shave my groin for a friend?

It's an ultimate act of friendship.

What shall I say to my wife?

I think she'll be very happy.

A bit suspicious, too.
Shaved my balls for a reunion.

How far to the crack should I reach?

Up to you entirely.

You can leave some patches.
It's more punk, too. - Shit.

Like after banging a porcupine.

What are you doing? - Disinfecting.

Hey, listen... I meant the shaver.
- This is the end.

So you pouched them. Dork.

Roll these smooth boys
straight to a sex arena.

Shall we take a selfie, too?

Damn it...
Like two fried eggs between legs.

A sauna fixes everything.

Have you heard?
Mart's about to get sterilized.

You out of your mind? - So what?

What sort of a man will you be then?

A cap gun is not Kalashnikov.

That's crap.
- What do you mean?

If everything's in ship-shape there,

why do you want to become
a cowboy with a plastic gun?

Oh yeah, now I get it.

What? - You can't have children.

Come on! - That's why it bothers you.

We are friends. You can talk.

We used to share everything.
Three rubles to seal it.

Well, you don't have to.

Whatever.

Well, okay... I don't...

I don't know.

It may be a genetic disorder, too.

My father didn't have children, too.

It's quite a miracle
that my mother got preagnant.

Why do you think you don't have?

I don't know. I just think so.

You have never talked about it.

Not the best ice breaker, is it?

But the older you get,
the lesser your chances.

The sperms will get old, too.

You have to do something. - What?

Just leave it there. Gossips.

You can get your semen tested.
Find out what's wrong and act.

You can adopt. - Sperm scientists!

You're afraid? - Of what?

Nothing embarrassing about that!
- I just have other things going on.

I can tell that you're afraid.

I could test any time. - So let's!
Or are you afraid?

Right now? - You are afraid.
- The fuck I am. - So take a test!

I'm afraid of a test?

Guys! Hey! Wait!

Damned. - Haemorrhoids?

No. - What happened?

Balls got stuck between planks.

It's all because of your cream.

Damned... - Well, I mean,
what comes in, must come out.

Soon, the blood will not circulate
and my balls will swell.

Then the sauna has to be torn down.

Good that you'll be sterilized,
this'll sure get it done.

Oh shit!

What is it?

Only one way out of here. - What?

What way? - Relax.

So, bottom sticking to the bench?

Some cold water and get dressed!

How's it working in the sperm lab?

You'll have to do your own...

A cup, a porn... Piece of cake.

I haven't done it for 30 years.

Sex with yourself is a quality time
with a person you love the most.

Take it medically. - Medically?
Medically I don't get it up at all!

Jesus Christ!

Hello.

Hello. You see...

Me and my friends, we have... a bet.

Or rather in terms of a joke...

Came to see how the tiny creatures...

Understood.
Follow me.

Where are you going?
- I can't sit with my hands idle.

Would you like to test, too? - No.

I just came along... To cheer.
Or, as they say, fingers crossed.

Can I help you? - Thanks.

I'm a copywriter.
Have to change it often at work.

And now...

Coming!

Christ!
Squirted right at your face.

Bleeding nonsense!

Here, let me.

What are you doing?

My balls are already sour.

You'll have to fix both ends.

You'll have a fresh chance
with Tushy-Eva at the reunion!

Last time, she just cried
at the graduation party.

You were the only guy
who didn't score. Remember? - Yeah.

Had to flash your ass
in front of the retirement home.

So what? - May well happen again.
If you show up all swollen and inky.

Can't come like this. - You have to!
You have to give your speech.

God, that, too!

The results are here. - Thanks.

Well, open it! Show it. - Later.

Let's go to the disco first. - Wait!

It does not come off. - Waterproof.

I'm like a human inksplash.

Robert de Niro has a spot there.

De Niro! A sex symbol!

I have a tanker size spot.

No one will see you, the club's dark.

Be confident and everything's okay.

Went into a wrong hole, didn't it?

That's it. You go to your disco,
I'll stay here and finish my speech.

Hold on. Stop it.

We do everything together.

Like old times.

If you don't go, we don't go. - Yeah!

Wait! Tell this to my little guy,

that it will not land inside a woman
because of an inky swollen ball!

My sex drive is tuned to perfection!

Yeah. - Hi, darling.
- Hello, sweetie.

How are you doing? What's up?
- Had a pillow fight with Saara.

She's asleep now. - Very sweet.

Saara said that she misses you.

You are very dear to me. - You, too.

Sorry for being like this last time.
- Don't worry, Mart.

I'm actually worried about Joonas.

His grades are faltering,
he's absent-minded.

Mart, do you hear me?
- Yeah, I do, sure.

I'll read you a piece of the speech.
Would you give some feedback?

You are unbelievably self-centered!

I've been working on it for days
and ask for only a brief feedback.

Alright, I'm listening.

Was this worth coming?
To watch news on TV.

Fine entertainment. News, weather...
Bed with your warm water bottle.

What has come out of our dreams?

It's sticky. - You think?

Some elderly nonsense.
- Guys didn't say so.

I take criticism very well,
but this is ridiculous!

Saara's waking up. I have to go.

Wait! Juta!

I don't know. I can't talk to her.
What's wrong with me?

Okay. I don't care if I look gross.

Let's get some fresh air.
Or my brain will swell, too.

I knew you're not an utter dork!

And he who does not score tonight,
will flash his ass again.

We keep traditions! - Sure.
Guys! It's not fair!

So, drinks! Get pissed, apes!

Oh, guys, here's some action!

Shit, I'll have to drink myself cool.

I'm feeling like a grandpa.
- Better that than grandma.

Could've, if your ball trick in sauna
would've been less fortunate.

Very comforting. Thanks.

This guy in waistcoat back there?

It's the Pilates guy.
Ken Priidik.

The one who took Anne. - Seriously?

What are you doing?
- Remember how we pinched Olle?

Remember how I slapped your head?

Snotfaces! Dance till you're
limp, and then I will enter.

The old experienced sex angel.
And get all tits and tushies!

I'm Mart. - If you like.

Yo, Mart! You should be
reported to the police.

What? - You stole my groovy moves.

So, how's it going? - Very well.

Is someone taking the bait?
Or you think about online porn?

Fertility Clinic. Is it some STD?

Let's say that I have, at least,
I've thrown a hook. - Hook's good.

I go check on my nets.

Take some. - Leave me alone!

No, take! - Hey, move away!

Shut up and take it!

Girl! We agreed that you'll be home
by 1 am! Right?

What are you waiting for? Go!

What do you think the time is?

Underage...

Thanks, dad.

Do I really have to go home now?

You can stay for 30 more minutes.
But I'll keep an eye on you!

Let me introduce.
Jane. Andres.

Hi, Jane. - Hello.

I get some drinks.

Hey, you!

You stole my wife, bastard!
- It was Anne's decision!

Fucking Pilates whore!

Bewitched her with your yoga buns!

You didn't make each other happy!
It could have been anyone!

You don't know the first thing!
Fucking Ken Priidik! Moron!

Anne talked about it for hours
while stretching. - Fucking hell!

What's so fantastic about you?
Shaven balls? Me, too!

Coming many times in a row?
What's your secret? Tell me!

What made her fall in love?

Please. It's getting embarrassing.

Let's end this once and for all!

Where's Andres? - I don't know.

What's with the spot on your face?

Does not come off. - Sure does.

I have my cosmetics set with me.
Let's go to your place, clean you up.

Come out, dammit!

You have to to control your anger.
Balance your mind and body.

Let's deal with your body, first!

I whip the mind out of it,
there's your balance!

Anger is always a result. - Shut up!
Fucking charlatan! Come out!

Fucking robots!
Have you never been left?

He's with me. Everything's okay.

Hey, look at the positive side of it.

As long as this Pilates dick is here,
he's not doing splits on Anne' belly.

Guess who! Hi!

Hi! Hi!

Well, don't remember me?

Hey... Rabarock Festival.

Game feeder behind the tents.

Oh, yeah. Hi. - Hi!

What's this?

Tom's worried if he's
fully operational down there.

Shut up, idiot. Everything's fine.

Hey! Let's go to my place!
I make you feel good!

Some magnet you are!
I don't score like that even online!

You getting old or what?
Little Tom kicking a bucket?

Crap party here. Let's go.

Are you coming?
- Me? Where are we going?

You have smile wrinkles.

The two outermost are smile wrinkles,
the rest is pure decomposition.

Such negative vibes.

Maybe you need something like this?

What is it? - It makes you happy.

Have you taken one? - Yeah.

Why do you need something like this?

Makes you forget all this bullshit.

You're young and beautiful,
what bullshit could you have?

Boyfriend left me.
Fell out of university.

I don't know what I should do now.
- And this makes your life meaningful?

No! just helps to forget.

I'll skip that.

Then keep it for a bad day.

Wait, what are you doing?

I'm married. See? - I know.

We're not doing anything bad.
Just comforting each other.

Is it that bad?
Oh, shit.

When do you learn
that booze and pills do not mix?

Out of the way, Mart! Taxi coming!

What's going on? - What's going on...

Behind the shop, there's a kiosk.

You get drinks from there.

And there was this woman, too.
But Tom blacked out before his time.

And the broad split, too.

And Tom is in a whiny mood
because of his child shit.

Where is he?

Where is he?

He's here!

Christ!

Hey, put him there.

Go there, go.

At least someone has tried
to save the day.

That someone has had
a way too long day.

I miss Lea so much.

She has the softest cheeks of all.

I love her so much.

So why don't you move in with her?
- I can't make her happy.

How do you know?
You haven't opened your sperm letter.

Can't you see, I'm firing blanks!

I'm a clown with a cap pistol,
not a real Zorro!

Maybe it's not a problem for Lea.
If you really can't. - You know...

But I have a load of these blanks.

What are you doing? That's not Lea!
That's not Lea.

Who is it, then? Andres?
Quite appetizing when shaved.

It's Juta... No, Jane!

Yeah, very nice!

I was left. I need a new woman.

My self-esteem is so far up the ass,
it can see light shining from throat.

And you are wrinkling sheets
with some chick in my bed!

Right! That's not what friends do.

It's a friend's trick!

Fucking tricksters.

Who are you jelaous for? - You!

You always get the prettiest chicks.

Nonsense. I don't.
- Who got Tushy-Eva, eh?

I didn't. She started to cry.

You got Juta. Juta the Bunny.
And kids and family.

I'll sleep on the couch.
Won't fall into this desecrated bed!

So. This is the end of the pill race.

Now that 25 years have passed,
dear school... classmates. Damn.

Dear...

Shit, guys, you have to help me.
It has to be ready in four hours.

Come on, my brain is still upgrading.
There's only this grey line now.

If I can't do this,
I'm truly a decomposing geezer.

Welcome to the team.
- What's wrong with you, guys?

You used to be nice, cheerful chaps,

now you are human heartburns.

Everything's itching down there.
Thank you, Toomas! - Same here.

I'll get some juice.

What are you wriggling?
They'll call exterminators.

What happened? - It's bitter.

Hold on, uncle has a candy for you.
Here.

Better?
It will be soon.

Damned...

Who's a human heartburn now?

You'll not know if you can have kids
if you don't open the letter.

Open the damn letter!
- Hey, we have a party tonight!

Burying head in sand doesn't help.

Lea'll lose her patience one day.

I can manage my own sperm.

What is it? - They gave me candy.

Hi! - These uncles?

Let's finish this somewhere else.

Hey, now we're talking.

Shall I read it?
- Not if it's depressing elderly shit.

Depressive old Estonian men...

I will take a brighter approach.

You can adorn the truth a bit.

I thought I'll go like this.

Time has made us wiser. Better.

The seed sowed at school
has now blossomed.

And the right objectives
have made our lives respectable.

Rich. Spicy.

When you start to throw clich? s,
don't forget 'like a good wine'.

Come on, I'm serious. - Yeah, right.

You are a real pro bullshit operator.
- Copywriter of the year!

Haven't you considered politics?

Welcome, dear classmates!

I'm not here to soak
my swollen sack with tears,

as everything is just peachy.

Damn, I'll have to read it myself!

Don't worry. I'll warm up people
and then it's you, and your speech!

The main attraction! - Thanks!

Now I'm really upset. - Don't worry!

Think who's there. Strict teachers,
super successful former classmates.

My hands are already shaking!

Take a drink and everything's fine.

I was so stressed about writing it
that I forgot giving it altogether.

It's hundred times worse!

I have to go to toilet. - Do that!
Or you coff it into your pants!

Hey, cheer up! - Everything's chill!

Damn, I'd like to see everyone.

Not everyone everyone.

You don't have to be with Anne.

Find yourself a woman and that's it.

Maybe you'll make up with Anne?

I'm not going to talk to her!

Is someone definitely not coming?

Lauri's not coming.

The big guy who wore shorts
the whole year? What happened?

Kicked the bucket last summer.

What happened?
- Stroked out in amusement park.

With bells and whistles at least.
- Bang, and you're gone!

Feeling alright? - Everything's fine!

Damn, guys...

How I love you! My darlings.

Maybe Eva will come, too.
- That Tushy-Eva, right?

Well, Tushy-Eva... My Eva...

Won't make her cry this time. - Good.

And I won't flash my ass
at a retirement home this time.

A reunion is for hitting the girl
you didn't get back then.

Big hitting reunion. - Yeah.

You said you'll be faithful to Juta.
- I will. Next 25 years after that.

But tonight, we get a little prize.

No wandering into my hunting area!

After my speech,
all the game will rush to my area.

That's the attitude!
No regrets!

Seems that everyone has fallen ill
and sent their parents instead.

Nice hum, isn't it?

Take these. I'll mingle.

What shall I do with these balloons?

Let's send Anne up to the ceiling
and see if anyone shoots her down.

You make cool music. - Thanks.

Were we classmates? - Yeah, right.

Now this party is promising
to turn out alright after all.

But Lea?

Well, sexy beasts!
How's it hanging?

Buenos dias, guys!

I just had a little chat with Anne,
heard that you have divorced.

Took some time, didn't it?

And what about you, Mart?

Have you done something
or still dreaming about your Eva?

I'm fine. Proper pay, wife, kids...

So Eva is forgotten?
- Impossible to forget her.

Cool.
And you are still...

Yeah, cool.

And how am I doing?
Let me tell you.

Just sold my company to Danes.
So I have much more time for sailing.

Superb deal. Seven figures!

Okay, guys. See you around.

Really glad you're doing that well.

Let me hug you.
Really nice to meet again.

Seven figures...
Slimy bastard.

Welcome, friends, classmates.

Cool. Over the top groovy, even,
is to see all of you here.

The dinner is served,
please feel free to shovel.

Shovel... Right...

In addition to the grand meal,
we'll have some entertainment.

And we'll have an awesome speech.
It's all prepared. - Me! It's me!

Sit down! Later. - Sit down?

So you can grab all women
and I'll flash my ass alone?

Forget it.
I'll go and find Eva.

Oh, shit. - Damn!

No problem! - No problem?
You're like a fish in tomato sauce.

What are you doing?
- Taking this off. So hot here anyway.

What are you doing? Are you nuts?

Eva! - Hold on! Let's go.

It's clean. - What are you doing?
It's soaking wet! - So what?

Look at me.
You hear me? Look into my eyes.

What is it? - What have you smoked?

Jane gave me a happy drag? e.

You are high!
You took Ecstasy?

Don't know what it was, but it works!

Should order it from Gay-P... GP.

Oh shit!

Hello.

You don't recognise me?

Ouch. A little hint, maybe?

If I say 'a green gym mat'...

Oh, Tiina!

No... - Luule.
- Luule, right! Luule alright!

You really don't recognise?
- Something's dawning.

I was more like my daughter then.

Maybe this sight helps to remember?
My daughter. Waits here tonight.

She's 25. - This is your daughter?

I have two sons, too.

Siim, 12, Kaspar, 8,
and adopted daughter Mia.

Very cool.

How many do you have?

I have one... dog.

I'll be right back. Sorry.

Mart is high. - Where?
- On drugs. Properly. - What?

Mart! Come here!

Let's take this shirt off.

Oh, you mean, naked speech?
Damn good idea! Cool!

Let's find something for you.

Why do I have to wear something?

Hey, this is very good.

This is good!

This shirt and my brilliant speech!
Elvis is alive again!

This is my seat.

Hey, sailor, plenty of room here.

I just want to be close to Eva.
- Kindergarten!

You're much prettier than in school.
- A clear overstatement, but thanks.

Are you married? - No.

Any children?

A spouse?

You are very blunt. - That's me.

Blunt, sexy, with big... heart.

I'll get something to drink.

Thanks.

Don't drink on top of that. - Relax!

I've always listened to other people. Juta,
kids, you. Today, I'm doing what I will.

It's Mart's time, Mart's Day.

I want to drink today and I will.

Peace. Everything's okay.

Where's he going?

We have to be ready to split. - Yeah.

In a moment.

I have to do Luule's daughter first.

Hat trick, you know.

What? You have to make
Luule's mother happy first.

You mean you have slept
with this girl's grandmother?

She wasn't a grandmother back then.

Anne! Act as if we have so much fun.

Good to see you're so over Anne.
- Am I? - You're not!

Guys, I'll show to you, too.

My family's little paradise
in Southern France. - Very nice.

C? te d'Azur. My wife.
Turns 30 next month. Breasts.

That's good! - No, they're natural.
What's so funny?

I'll go onstage. - These are real!

Andres...

Don't bother. He won't talk to you.

Very adult. - I'm afraid so.
Is that right? Yeah.

But at least he's a nice hairball.

I just wanted to ask how's he doing.
- Well, I think. Right?

We went out last night.
I think we had loads of fun.

And you? At least you don't have
to see his limp butt anymore.

Nothing wrong with Andres's butt.

But the instructor boy,
he has it a bit tighter, right?

That Ken Suusik. - Shithead!

I didn't divorce because of his butt.

I left, because our life together
had become pointless.

By the way, even that said,
Andres is the best dad in the world.

Your life is screwed.
But at least it's not your butt's fault.

Hey, not bad, right?

Eva...

Do I have a better chance today
than 25 years ago?

Yes or no?

Fucking hog with a mike.

I know what you are thinking.
- What is it?

Is this grumpy auntie in
the mirror really me?

I'm 10-15 years younger
than this unhappy woman.

I'm just a bit tired. - Let me see...

I'm not climbing the career ladder
men don't look at me,

I'm wondering how could I raise
my self-esteem a little bit.

But wait! This is where I step in.

I'll show that everything works.

Tom!
Where's Mart?

How should I know?
- Wait! Wait up!

You said you love Lea. - Yeah, I do.

What are you doing with this, then?

It's a hat trick, unique opportunity.

You're afraid Lea will leave you.

Want to be a real man! - Fuck you!

Do you have guts to face the truth?

Open your fucking test envelope.
Come out of this fuck coma.

You've read women's magazines?

A real man does read them.
As he knows what he wants from life.

You have just moved in
with your right hand.

Fucking marital advisor. - Sucker!

Go find Mart!

So where? Biology class? Or math?

Stop it. - Why? What is it?

You're married. With children.
I don't have much to brag with.

If you agree, you've got me.

That's what a reunion is.
Injecting life into each other.

What is it?

And now...

It's time for the speech of the day.

Mart, will you give your speech.

Mart, where are you?
Mart has disappeared.

He hasn't done his homework!

But let's call Mart all together.

Speech! Speech...

Go to the stage, buy some time.
- Me? What shall I do?

Improvise.
I'll find Mart.

Speech! Speech!

Andres?

While we're waiting for Mart's speech,

I'd like to say something...

personal.

About sexy lingerie under the suit?
- No.

I wanted to say that...

I regret.

That I'm sorry that...

That my marriage with Anne
didn't work out.

But I wish that

at least our separation
would be a success.

And that we could be...
good friends.

If not for anything else,
than for our son... Viktor.

I'm trying to live with the fact
that we screwed up the opportunity.

And keep my fingers crossed for you.

And your new companion, Ken...

Ken Priidik!

And I'm sorry

that you'll never know...
That I'm shaving, too.

I have everything smooth down there.
Yep.

So I'll find someone for myself,
if it's bound to happen.

And that's all I wanted to say.

I'm available.

And the real speech will come, too.
So...

I'm yours, use me! - Dear God!

Mart! Pull your pants up,
people are waiting for your speech.

I'm expected to go onstage?
Speech! Yes! Of course!

I'I give the speech first,
then it's game time. You'll see, Eva.

Let's cancel the speech.

The speech is my secret weapon!
- No, don't...

Speech! Speech...

Okay, okay...

Need reading glasses, old man?

No, I don't.

25 years have passed since we last...

Things have happened since!

In 30 years, even more
would have happened. But...

25 years have passed.

Now I'll show you something funny.

If you find my voice a tad weird...

Then it's true,

as all of my machinery got caught
between planks in sauna lately.

One moment...

Hi!

What I wanted to say, is that...

Oh, yeah! I wanted to...
To console all those limp asses here.

We are the foundation of the society.

Although we start to get wrinkles and
hair in our noses... And everywhere.

What sort of a porridge is this?

Can't even drink as much
as back in school times.

Everything is getting somewhat fuzzy.
Especially the eyesight.

And you're just a slipping clutch.

Honestly, just a smoking clutch.

And you don't admit it!

And you are just a fool,

as you think that shaving your balls
will make you be someone else.

Hip and shiny and...

Shit, I'll start the car. - Wait.

Pretty good.

Good to tell the truth for a while.

I had a speech prepared, too.
Bullshit.

About how cool we are and so on.

But who are we kidding, eh?

Now raise your hands
who would like to see haemorrhoids.

Now we're off.

Well...

Dear ol' Mart.
How did it turn out for you?

Sometimes they say
it could have been worse, but...

I guess we can't say that now.
- Now there's nothing at all to say.

Terrible homesickness.
- Dork.

I really look like shit.

But at the same time,
you only reek slightly of vomit.

Hell, guys, I'll do it. - What?

I'll give it to Lea, no matter what.

Good man. - Okay, bye.

Keep it up.

And I'm going to get myself glasses.

I want to see my wife and kids.

And I'll take up Pilates.

Shit!

There's something still to be done.

This boy with haemorrhoids...
I have taught History to him.

But the rightmost...
I shagged him once.