All language subtitles for Fantasy.Island.1977.S07E14.Lady.of.the.House-Mrs.Brandells.Favorite.480p.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-squalor_track3_[eng]

(BELL RINGING)

Good morning, Mr. Roarke.

Good morning, Lawrence.

Smiles, everyone. Smiles!

(TROPICAL MUSIC PLAYING)

LAWRENCE: Ah, unabashedly friendly, vivacious,

a woman of quality.

I can tell at a glance.

Yes, Mrs. Esther Brandell,

who tells me she's a retired sorority house mother

from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

-Missus, sir? -Disappointed?

Well, she did get off the plane alone,

so I naturally assumed...

You assumed correctly.

The lady's husband died several years ago,

but she's come to Fantasy Island

to get married again.

And her fantasy is to have her wedding

made truly memorable by having her three favorite

former sorority house girls act as her bridesmaids.

-However... -A problem, sir?

-That remains to be seen. -Oh.

-Sir, is she the only guest? -Yes, Lawrence.

And the lady is not at all what she seems to be

or has told us she is.

In fact, she'll be very lucky if her three favorite girls

don't despise her before her fantasy's over.

My dear guest...

I am Mr. Roarke, your host.

Welcome to Fantasy Island.

I think my heart is gonna pop.

I don't know whether I'm more excited about getting married

or about getting together again

with Colleen, Bebe, and Leanne.

Did you have any trouble finding them?

There was some difficulty, yes, uh-huh.

And you're sure they don't know it was me

who put up the money to get them here?

I am sure, yes.

I followed your instructions explicitly.

Nor are the ladies aware of each other's presence on the island,

also as you instructed.

Okay then, well, let's get this show on the road.

What happens now?

The ladies have been invited to a cocktail party

in exactly one hour.

They each received this invitation.

It's all right. I dictated it, remember?

"Alpha Tau Epsilon invites you to a weekend at Fantasy..."

-Sigma, ma'am. -What?

Alpha Tau Sigma.

You said Epsilon.

Oh, you're right.

I never could get those crazy sorority names straight.

Bebe?

BEBE: Colleen?

Ah!

Oh, Bebe, I don't believe it!

What are you two doing here?

-Leanne! -Bebe, hi.

-Hi. -Hi.

Oh, I don't know what's going on here,

but I think it's great.

The day Brandy got closed down,

I figured we'd never see each other again.

Don't even mention that name.

Girls, what are we doing here?

Yeah, who do you suppose would set up something like this?

I can think of one good possibility.

-Me too. -Brandy.

But why?

Well, we were her favorites, remember?

Maybe she thought getting the three of us together

would be a real kick.

LEANNE: But why after all these years?

Ah, ladies, you are all here. Good.

May I present the lady who is responsible

for your weekend on Fantasy Island,

Mrs. Esther Brandell.

We already guessed.

Well, aren't you glad to see me?

Should we be?

She's got a point, Brandy.

Should we be?

Hey, hey, listen, guys.

It was us against the world, remember?

Maybe we don't want to remember.

There's no "maybe" about it.

I'm sorry, Brandy.

Did you expect something more from them, Mrs. Brandell?

Also, I believe there is something

you neglected to tell me, am I correct?

Yeah.

I got a feeling you already know what it is.

Well, I know you were never a housemother

for the Alpha Tau Sigma sorority,

nor any other sorority for that matter.

In fact, you ran a call-girl service

and these three girls worked for you.

Well, if you want it in plain language...

That's right. That's right, Mr. Roarke.

I was a madam and the three of them...

Were hookers.

It was just a cocktail party for ladies.

What is this Alpha Tau Sigma? You've never been inside

a college, let alone a sorority house.

So what? I had friends who were.

Friends. What kind of a friend pays our way out here,

-puts us up for the weekend... -Don't start this.

...and then invites you, not us, you, to a cocktail party?

What friend does that? Why?

All right, Kurt, let's hear it.

-It's somebody, Leanne. -Oh, stop it! Will ya stop it?

You are making it with somebody.

If I am, it's a habit I picked up from you.

Well, I can always leave!

Oh, baby.

Why do we always do this to each other?

Be nice, huh?

Come on, sweetheart. I need you to be sweet to me.

I want us to have a real good time

while we're here.

Come on. How about it?

Maybe. I'll let you know.

Well, the way I see it is, right after our honeymoon...

Oh, Gordon, please.

I really don't feel like talking about marriage right now.

Bebe, look. I can't stand your saying no anymore.

Don't you understand, I... Oh...

I... Oh...

I think I... No, I am.

I'm... I'm having a heart attack.

Gordon, is this another one of your jokes?

Gordon! Oh...

Oh, my God, Gordon, speak to me.

You do love me, huh? Let's get married.

Oh!

Wait a minute. Hey, can't you take a joke?

Hey, Bebe! Bebe, baby, lighten...

Excuse me, thank you. Lighten up!

Bebe.

Well, whoever arranged this mystery weekend

sure picked a beautiful place.

I just wish I could enjoy it.

Oh, Mark, stop buying trouble.

Channel 6 needs you more than you need them.

They're not gonna boot you out.

Well, your confidence in me is not shared

by the station manager, Colleen.

I'm supposed to be a creative producer, and I haven't come up

with any original programing all season.

Oh, you'll come up with something.

Go in there on Monday and hit him with some new ideas.

That's what I love about you romantic novelists,

you're so in touch with the real world.

You know, Mark, your jealousy

of my career is not one of your more attractive attributes.

Well, at least it's something I'm a success at, right?

I love you. Doesn't that count for something?

Yeah. It does.

Gordon, I believe a relationship

should be based on honesty, don't you?

I mean, if it's gonna last.

Well, yeah. Honesty is the best policy.

That's what you keep telling me.

Well, then there's something I've been meaning to tell you

for a long time.

Ten years ago,

before I became a one-man woman,

like I am now...

There used to be lots of men for money.

You know what I mean?

Baby... Bebe, you mean,

you're trying to tell me that you were a hooker?

I mean, the All-American girl was a hooker?

Right. I used to get paid for sleeping with men.

Right, yeah. I understand.

(CHUCKLING)

Okay. I mean, whatever you say.

Getting back at me for my jokes, aren't you?

Okay, Gordon. Okay, fine. Don't worry.

I'll find some way to prove it to you.

-Okay, fine. -Oh, come...

-No. Bebe, now... -Fine!

(LAUGHING) Oh, come on, gosh.

Ah, Mrs. Brandell.

I hope I didn't keep you waiting too long.

No. Not at all.

Good.

I need your help, Mr. Roarke.

-Yes? -And I would like

to tell you a few things about myself.

It isn't really necessary.

Oh, I know that. I want to.

All right.

You see...

I never had a home as a kid.

Nobody wanted me.

So I started out as just one of the girls.

A plain old hooker.

But then, with a couple of breaks,

I was running my own operation before long, and

I did pretty good too, till the roof fell in.

When the authorities intervened, hmm?

-Yeah. -Yes.

I did three years of hard time.

I paid my dues.

But when I got out, the girls had moved away.

-You tried to find them? -Oh, sure.

I wrote letters.

Most of them came back unopened.

Mr. Roarke, they're ashamed of me.

Of what I remind them of.

And very naturally alarmed

that you will somehow reveal their past.

Oh, I can understand that.

And maybe I was wrong in doing this.

But...

You see, I never had a family.

Those girls were my family, you understand?

And I did everything I could under the circumstances.

Oh, I'm sure you did.

Girls in that racket aren't exactly candidates

for Society Girl of the Year.

Most of them come from broken homes.

They're neglected, abused, the usual.

Take... Take Colleen, for example.

She's a writer, you know.

Oh, a very successful novelist, yes.

When I first met her,

she didn't understand words that were three syllables,

but there was something in her.

So you did something about it.

You bought her books, encouraged her.

Well, you should feel a great sense of achievement,

Mrs. Brandell.

I guess.

Now, Bebe.

Oh, Bebe was just the opposite of Colleen.

Not much one for books

but pretty as a... Thank you.

-You're welcome. -Pretty as a picture,

so I... I pushed her into modeling.

And it took a long time,

but, you know, she's turning up now

in television shows and magazine ads.

-Doing very well, yes. -Yeah.

And your third girl?

Oh, Leanne.

Well, she always thought

she didn't deserve anything better.

About the time I was building up

her self-respect a little, I went to jail.

You are the victim of an irony, Mrs. Brandell.

Although your girls benefited

from the encouragement you gave them,

they now see you as a threat

to their new lives.

Perhaps if you give them a little more time.

Oh, you know I only have this weekend, Mr. Roarke.

Maybe it was selfish of me to ask them

to come to my wedding.

Well, if you'll help me wind this up.

If I can, I will.

These were supposed to be the bride's gifts to her bridesmaids,

but under the circumstances...

You see, I... I held back some of their pay

and invested it.

I did pretty good for 'em, too.

-May I? -Sure.

Well, indeed you did, Mrs. Brandell.

See that they get their checks for me.

Will you please?

I think I have a much better idea than that.

Excuse me, here it is.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

All right, so maybe I still have

some hang-ups from those days,

but I'm not the only one.

Well, that's for sure.

See? No wedding rings on me either.

How come? You always wanted

to get married and have lots of babies.

You love children.

I know. I still do.

So does Gordon.

The problem is, I just haven't

been able to come clean yet.

I know how you feel.

I haven't told Kurt either.

Same with Mark.

It's awful always being frightened

that he's going to find out.

I wish Brandy could understand that.

How must she feel, us giving her the cold shoulder?

Don't look now but here she comes.

Ah, good afternoon, ladies.

Thank you for accepting my invitation to meet me here.

There is something important

Mrs. Brandell wishes to tell you.

Mrs. Brandell.

I really don't think we're interested, Mr. Roarke.

Why don't you wait and see.

All right.

Mrs. Brandell.

I'm sorry things worked out this way.

Really, I am.

But I... I owe y'all something.

Leanne.

Bebe.

Colleen.

What is it?

Well, open them.

Remember my telling you I was going to put

some of your money aside for a rainy day?

Well, I did.

I invested it.

Those checks represent the profits.

Well, I really appreciate it, Brandy.

But what's the big deal about $100?

(GIGGLING)

I suggest you look a little closer at the exact placement

of the decimal point, Ms. DeForest.

(GASPING) $100,000.

If you were so anxious to give us this,

why didn't you just put it in the mail?

That's a fair question.

Uh, number one, you didn't answer my letters.

And, uh...

And number two, I...

Am getting married tomorrow.

Married?

That's wonderful.

Yeah, Brandy. That's terrific.

But what... What does that got to do with us?

Don't you remember how we used to talk?

My saying that if I ever got married again, I wanted my...

My three favorite girls to be my bridesmaids?

I remember.

It would mean so much to me.

Colleen?

I can't.

(SIGHING)

Bebe.

(SIGHING)

I don't know.

Well, if I can't have all of you...

Leanne, having you there would...

Really mean a lot.

Look, you say this money is mine, okay?

(SNIFFLING)

Thanks.

But I got a marriage to protect.

I'm sorry.

(TROPICAL MUSIC PLAYING)

Boy, that was good. Honey, I'll be right back, okay?

(TROPICAL MUSIC PLAYING)

Oh, Brandy, please, go away.

I just wanted to talk to you for a minute.

My husband's going to be back any second.

I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am

if I caused you any trouble.

You know I would never do anything to hurt you.

Please just go away.

-Colleen... -Now.

Seems there are lines everywhere these days.

Hello. Mark Hodges. And you're...

Uh, Mrs. Brandell.

She's a friend of mine from...

From school.

Really? Where is that?

Uh, Oregon State.

I interviewed Brandy for the school newspaper.

Oh, honey, you remember that column I did about people

and the kinds of work that they do.

Oh, yeah, sure.

What kind of work did you do, Mrs. Brandell?

I ran an escort service.

Oh, that's interesting.

Look, Mark, we really have to go.

It was really nice to see you, Brandy.

-I... I've... -No, wait a minute, honey.

Wait a minute.

What kind of service did you provide?

Just the usual kind.

A John would call...

A "John"?

I don't think that's the term they use in computer dating.

Uh, Mrs. Brandell, no offense intended,

but were you a madam?

Was that your line of work?

No, no, no, wait. Mrs. Brandell, I'm...

I'm the Director of Programing

for a television station back home and frankly,

I could use something controversial and exploitive

and I think that an interview with an ex-madam

-just might do the trick. -Oh, Mark...

Why? What's the matter? She's not ashamed of her past.

Could make a terrific spot on the 5:00 news.

Wait... You've made something of your life.

This could be your opportunity to show the world

it's possible to change.

Sure, why not?

Great. Uh, tomorrow morning at 11:00?

-Fine. -Our bungalow?

-Okay. -I'll see you there. Thanks.

I looked into your purse to find

a little tip money for the bartender.

Look what I found.

It's a check for $100,000 made out to you.

You want to explain?

Well?

I never intended to tell you this, Kurt.

Never.

But since you forced me to...

It's about what I was doing before I met you.

As opposed to after you met me?

You've always been wrong about there being other men

after we were married, Kurt.

It was before we were married.

What are you saying?

After we were married, there was only you, Kurt.

But before...

There were salesmen, lawyers,

executives, bank presidents.

(CHUCKLING)

There was even a head of state.

Getting the picture, Kurt?

I was a call girl.

Well, aren't you going to say something?

Yeah.

Thanks.

For what?

For confirming what I've always really known.

Kurt.

I always knew about your humble beginnings.

Those folks had nothing on you.

They were just trash.

Baby, you're garbage.

Here she is.

Brandy, hi.

I've been looking all over for you.

Could do me a favor, please?

I want you to tell Gordon who you are.

I mean, the truth.

Hi, I'm Brandy Brandell.

-Hi. -No.

I mean, what you used to be,

what I used to be.

-I tried to tell Gordon. -Bebe...

Really, I want him to know the truth.

Please?

There are a couple of popular words for it in the dictionary.

One starts with "W" and the other one starts with "P."

What's going on?

GORDON: Look, first of all, Bebe,

you made a very bad choice here.

Look, I understand, she caught you cold.

But the next time Bebe tries

to con you into pretending that you're a madam,

wear a lot of makeup or dye your hair red.

Something, you know?

Excuse us.

You run pretty good. I've been trying to catch you.

-Oh? -I'm Kurt, Leanne's... Beloved.

Oh, well, what do you want?

I've been thinking about this...

This little reunion that you're having with...

Well, what do I call them?

Your cute little tricks.

I've been trying to keep it a big secret.

Have you got a point?

Just that I'm in on the secret.

And?

And if you want to keep it that way,

it's going to cost you.

You can go to hell as far as I'm concerned.

Look at it this way.

You want to see what happens to Leanne

and cute little Bebe and Colleen

when I spread the word around they're all ex-hookers?

You want to see what happens to their neat little lives?

You really are scum, mister.

How much to get you out of Leanne's life?

Just 100 grand.

Let's keep our labels straight, madam.

You, Leanne, the others...

You're the scum.

MARK: Okay, now remember,

there's nothing to be nervous about.

BRANDY: All right. I'm ready when you are.

-Okay, you can roll. -(COUGHING)

Ladies and gentlemen, we're here with Mrs. Brandy Brandell,

who is a very attractive woman, as you can see,

but what may surprise you is her former occupation.

Would you tell us what that was, Mrs. Brandell?

Uh, I was a madam.

I ran a call girl service.

And your girls furnished sexual favors for clients?

A very selective clientele.

I... I did everything I could to protect my girls.

You know, we've all seen beautiful young actresses

lend their personalities and their talents

to the role of prostitute,

and certain young girls might use that as a rationale

to think it's a glamorous and acceptable way of life.

Do you have any comments on that?

I, uh... I suppose that's possible

but, uh, I... I don't think many kids

get into prostitution because of that.

No, most of the ones I knew were just plain victims.

Usually of some man...

Their fathers, stepfather, an uncle, a boyfriend.

But why prostitution?

It's a way of making a living.

And, believe it or not...

Of getting some expression of love.

No matter how degrading that might sound

to an outside viewpoint.

Mrs. Brandell, I think our viewers might be interested

in knowing if that is, in fact, your own story,

if that's how you got started.

(CHUCKLING)

Hell, Mr. Hodges, that's the way we all got started,

more or less.

MAN: Okay, fellas, let's take five.

We got a good take, Mrs. Brandell.

You're doing great.

You know a lot of... A lot of young people have

a rough time when they're kids, right?

Right.

Well, not all them turn to prostitution, why just some?

Oh, for God sakes, will you just leave her alone?

Why? We're into something important here.

It's all right, Colleen. I can handle it.

In other words, why did I do it and some other girls didn't?

That's what you're after, right? The moral issue?

MARK: Exactly.

Well, you see, nobody ever bothered to give me

any kind of standards to judge by.

I was 20 years old before I found some for myself.

For me and my girls.

Were you lucky?

Damn lucky.

A lot of the girls ended up on booze, or drugs,

or dead somewhere in an alley.

Look, this is a very degrading, lousy, dead-end business,

and the only good thing that ever came out of it

was the help I was able to give some of those girls.

Hey, why do you think I'm doing this interview?

If I can give... If I can give

just a little hope to one of those girls,

if I can... If I can help just one of them to get out...

Well, if you did all you say you did,

it sounds to me like you expect a little gratitude.

What? They don't owe my anything.

Oh, sure I protected them, I watched over them.

I... I made sure they didn't do anything crazy.

And I happen to know that all that worrying and caring

paid off because none of them are junkies.

They're alive, they're beautiful,

and they don't owe me anything for that.

Yeah, but no matter how you slice it,

you still hired them out.

You have no right to talk to her like that.

How do you want me to talk to her?

Like a warm, caring human being

with a little understanding and compassion.

I'll leave that to the audience.

Of course, they may come to the conclusion that madams

go looking for these girls wherever they can find them,

promise them all sorts of wonderful things,

and before they know what's happened,

these innocent kids are tramps.

Brandy never did anything like that!

How would you know, Colleen?

Because I was one of those tramps!

Sitting all by yourself on such a beautiful day?

Where's Mr. Mills?

He's over there.

Excuse me, Mr. Roarke.

Would you excuse us for a moment?

There's something I want to talk over with Bebe.

Oh, of course.

Excuse me.

-Uh, Bebe... -Mmm-hmm?

You were telling me the truth, right,

about what you used to be?

Yes.

Well, to prove it, good old Ed over there...

See the guy in the blue blazer?

Uh-huh.

He has agreed to be your client.

Oh, Gordon, I've had enough of your jokes.

No, no. This is for real, Bebe.

See, now you can show me how you used to operate

when you were a call girl.

-(CHUCKLING) -That's sick.

Not as long as we keep laughing

or you decide to call the joke off.

All right.

Ed.

Ed, Bebe. Bebe, Ed.

(MEN CHUCKLING)

250 bucks.

Uh... (CHUCKLING)

Bebe, we are talking principle here.

Oh, oh, I get it. I see.

You want to mess up the deal so that you can get rid of him

and keep your little joke going.

Eh, 250 bucks is okay with me.

Good-bye, Gordon.

-Ed, is it? -Thanks, Gordy.

Oh. (LAUGHING) Hi, Mr. Roarke.

I was just, uh...

So, how you doing?

Very well, thank you, Mr. Mills.

I was hoping Ms. DeForest would be with you.

Is she in the bungalow?

Well, yes, she is, but she's busy.

What I mean is, she's not really busy.

She's just trying to make me believe that she's busy.

I'm not sure I understand.

You want to hear a good one, Mr. Roarke?

That girl in there, you know, who looks like she was born

with "Miss All-American" stamped right on her forehead?

I mean, she's quite a joker, see.

And she's trying to convince me that she used to be

a lady of easy virtue. You know, a hooker.

Indeed.

You'll forgive me, but I'm puzzled.

Just how does she intend to convince you of this?

Well, I called her bluff, see?

And she's going along with the gag.

I mean, I set her up with a guy,

and they're in there together now.

See, it's like a joke.

I think you're going to find out

that it's a very bad joke, Mr. Mills.

Maybe we should talk about it.

Okay.

LEANNE: Kurt, I'm begging you. Don't go.

Don't leave me.

We have had some good times, sweetheart,

but I am out of your life for good.

I'll do anything, anything you want.

Just stay with me.

(CHUCKLING) I've already got what I want.

How'd you get that?

Well, your old boss lady just understands

the value of public relations.

You blackmailed her?

Well, that's a naughty word. Let's just say that she has

a soft spot in her heart for ex-hookers like you.

Kurt, love me. Everything will be all right again

if we just hold each other, if we just love each other.

It won't work anymore, knowing it was all an act.

I was just another John.

That's not true. It wasn't like that with you.

With you it was special.

Oh, well, I'll just have to take your word for that, baby.

You're the expert.

Ed, why don't you have a drink?

Nah, I can have a drink anytime.

Hey, look, what's the problem?

Problem? What makes you think there's a problem?

Well, you still got your clothes on, for one thing.

Of course I do.

I never met a bashful hooker before.

Or is that your little come on?

Uh, Ed, you seem like a nice guy.

Oh, damn nice. Try me.

Yeah, well, that's what I think we ought to talk about,

'cause see, I can't.

I just can't go through with it.

If it's the ante, I'll up it.

No, no, it's not that, and... And it's not you.

It's just... I can't.

I'm sorry.

I can't. I'm sorry.

Leanne, what are you doing here?

Wondering what happened to my husband.

That check you gave him was a one-way ticket out of my life.

Damn it! You had no right to interfere.

Leanne, smarten up.

He would have walked out on you anyway.

The money just hurried things up.

So now I'm alone.

You think that's any better?

You're darn right.

You have such a negative picture of yourself that

a little acceptance from anyone,

even trash like Kurt, is better than nothing.

Now, why are you so hard on yourself?

You know why.

Nobody knows better than you.

Because you're an ex-hooker?

There are a lot of girls

who are ex-hookers who finally accept who they were.

Oh, Leanne, you're hurting, I know.

I know how you feel.

But you've got a lot going for yourself.

Use it, darn it!

I don't know how.

Practice. It's the only way.

Would I steer you wrong, honey?

You taught me to be a whore.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Oh, we'll find a way, honey.

We'll find a way to make things right.

All right.

Let me have it, both barrels. I'm ready.

Brandy, what's wrong with me?

Oh.

Oh, what happened?

Well, I tried to sleep with this guy,

you know, to prove to Gordon that I really was a hooker,

to get things out into the open and...

And you... You're afraid he won't be able to accept it.

No, I'm afraid he will.

What?

Well, remember how I always had this thing

about telling the truth?

Yeah.

Well, I always said I wouldn't get married

until I told Gordon about my past.

That's why I kept saying no to him.

Only now I finally told him and he doesn't believe me,

which is exactly the same as if I never told him at all, so...

Now, maybe I don't want to marry anybody.

Maybe I'm...

Maybe I'm just not a one-man woman.

Bebe, you're not telling me you want to go back to being...

Back to work.

I don't know.

I mean, you never know about things like that.

I realize it's been years.

Ten years.

How long does it take to prove a point?

That John you were telling me about...

You couldn't make it with him, right?

Right.

All I could think about was Gordon.

Well, when you really only want to get it on

with one special guy, like Gordon...

There's a name for that condition.

What?

Love.

(LAUGHING)

Colleen?

Wait a minute, Colleen. Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Look, I've been thinking.

Any way you want to end it is fine with me.

You can have your lawyer handle it.

You don't even have to see me again.

You can have it annulled if you want.

Listen to me.

Everything that Mrs. Brandell and you told me, I already knew.

What are you saying?

I probably would never, ever have mentioned it and...

If Brandy hadn't come into your life,

but I'm glad that she did.

Honey, I know what a nightmare this has been for you.

The fear of me finding out, and your running away from the past.

I wanted you to be free of all of that.

That's why I pursued Brandy...

Because I wanted you to admit what you were

on your own and you've done it.

You've done it.

And now we can both forget it.

I don't believe this.

How long have you known?

I started as an investigative reporter, my love.

And you investigated me?

More by accident than anything else.

A little while after we met, I found one of Mrs. Brandell's

letters that you'd thrown away.

Wait... You knew I was an ex-hooker

almost from the beginning and you married me anyway?

Well, it shook me up.

But I was intrigued to know more about an ex-hooker

who had a higher I.Q. than I did.

Oh, what about the interview with Brandy?

Never be used.

It was just a way to set you free.

Come on.

Don't worry, Mrs. Brandell.

I'm sure the groom will arrive on time.

Suffice it to say, Lawrence, that I don't think

it's the groom's arrival

Mrs. Brandell is concerned about.

He's right.

He'll be here.

The girls...

Well, I guess I can't blame them for not showing up.

Lawrence, looks like I'm going to need a maid of honor.

I'm sorry, madam. I haven't a thing to wear.

However, I am certain Lawrence would be honored

to give the bride away, won't you, Lawrence?

Oh, yes indeed.

In that case, madam, I do have something to wear.

Now, if you'll excuse me.

I hear there's going to be a wedding around here.

Colleen.

-What changed your mind? -Mark. Everything's all right.

MARK: It's more than all right.

Oh, I'm so glad.

Bebe.

-Bebe! -Oh!

Oh, I can't believe it.

If I were any happier it would probably be illegal.

Brandy, this is Gordon, my...

-Oh sure, Gordon, hi! -Yes, we met.

No, no. You didn't let me finish.

What I was going to say is this is Gordon,

my future husband.

How about that? What wonderful news.

-Yeah. -You finally said yes.

Well, actually this time she popped the question,

and I said yes.

Oh.

Mr. Mills, your boutonniere.

-Oh, excuse me. -We'll see ya.

So, tell me, did he finally believe you or what?

All I can say is I'm going to be married in white.

Gordon wants it that way. I'll tell you about it later,

but I guess Mr. Roarke had a long talk with him.

Oh, good for Mr. Roarke.

She came.

I have my two bridesmaids and now I have my maid of honor.

Hi.

Oh, I'm so glad you came.

-Me too. -Come on.

(ALL TALKING)

All right, everybody freeze!

This is a raid.

Lieutenant Fassbinder, what are you doing here?

You're not going to mess things up again for Brandy?

Yeah, she's getting married.

You're telling me!

Oh, darling, you look beautiful. I'm sorry I'm a little late.

-It's all right. -What's going on here?

A wedding, ladies.

After all these years, I've finally convinced

Brandy to take on a new business...

Matrimony.

You're going to marry old Lead Head?

I sure am.

Well, he's retired, I'm retired,

and Lord knows we've spent enough time together.

(LAUGHING)

COLLEEN: Cheers. BEBE: Congratulations.

-I love you. -I love you.

♪ This is the moment

♪ I've waited for

♪ I can hear

♪ My heart singing

♪ Soon bells will be ringing

♪ This is the moment

♪ Of sweet aloha

♪ I will love you longer

♪ Than forever

♪ Promise me that you will

♪ Leave me never

♪ Here and now dear

Who gives this woman in marriage?

I do.

We are gathered to unite

this man and this woman in matrimony.

It is only fitting that here on Fantasy Island,

where dreams so often come true,

a new and joyful reality

has replaced fantasy for both of you.

The rings, please.

And now, with the deepest sense of joy

and by the power vested in me as magistrate of the island,

I pronounce you man and wife.

You may kiss the bride.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

Oh!

FASSBINDER: Here we are. BRANDY: Totally unlikely.

-Come on, darling. -Oh, thank you.

-Watch your step. -All right.

You're a married lady now.

-Oh, come on. -(LAUGHING) Come on.

Oh, come on, everybody. I don't know.

I feel a bit like the Pied Piper.

Listen, the rest of you go on to the plane.

You too, darling.

I want a word with Mr. Roarke.

Okay. Thank you very much.

-Bye-bye, bye-bye. -Bye, Mr. Roarke.

I'll see you in a bit.

Well, Mr. Roarke, things turned out all right, didn't they?

My coming here wasn't such a bad idea after all.

How could anyone possibly construe

your presence anywhere as anything but a good idea?

Well, I appreciate the sentiment, Lawrence.

But ten years ago in my other life,

people would not have thought of me so kindly.

Your other life, madam?

Do you mean he still doesn't know about me?

-No. -That's right, Lawrence.

You see, in my other life calling me "madam" was not

a term of respect, but rather the title of my means of livelihood.

Thank you, Mr. Roarke

for helping me put all that behind me once and for all.

-Good-bye. -Good-bye.

Her means of livelihood, sir?

Yes.

Madam.

Madame.

Madam?