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1
00:00:03,630 --> 00:00:05,150
Hayley. Hayley, wake up.
2
00:00:05,200 --> 00:00:06,760
It's a horrible family emergency!
3
00:00:06,810 --> 00:00:08,290
What?! God what?!
4
00:00:08,330 --> 00:00:10,770
The emergency is your life
isn't going anywhere,
5
00:00:10,810 --> 00:00:12,160
so we're going to
get you some drive.
6
00:00:12,200 --> 00:00:13,940
We're going for a drive?
7
00:00:13,990 --> 00:00:15,080
In a car?
8
00:00:15,120 --> 00:00:17,080
No, we're going for a walk.
9
00:00:17,120 --> 00:00:19,780
In our bodies.
10
00:00:19,820 --> 00:00:21,780
As you know, every day
I leap out of bed
11
00:00:21,820 --> 00:00:23,430
and fly into my slippers.
12
00:00:23,480 --> 00:00:25,000
Of course, your "leap of faith."
13
00:00:25,040 --> 00:00:26,910
It shakes the whole house.
14
00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:30,090
But what you don't know is
every morning before my leap,
15
00:00:30,130 --> 00:00:32,830
I take a brisk walk around
Langley's historic
16
00:00:32,880 --> 00:00:34,970
Gaslamp District
to get the blood up
17
00:00:35,010 --> 00:00:36,620
and the laziness down.
18
00:00:36,660 --> 00:00:38,840
You go on this walk
and then get back in bed?
19
00:00:38,880 --> 00:00:40,970
This healthy routine
gives me the drive
20
00:00:41,010 --> 00:00:42,930
I need to have
a successful career.
21
00:00:42,970 --> 00:00:44,450
I want that for you, too.
22
00:00:44,500 --> 00:00:47,330
But I already have
a successful career at SubHub.
23
00:00:47,370 --> 00:00:49,630
They even trust me enough
to let me have a key.
24
00:00:49,680 --> 00:00:50,810
A key to where?
25
00:00:50,850 --> 00:00:52,460
The bathroom.
26
00:00:52,500 --> 00:00:54,110
Just as I feared.
27
00:00:54,160 --> 00:00:55,860
The room so awful
it's where we hide
28
00:00:55,900 --> 00:00:57,290
our disgusting toilets.
29
00:00:57,340 --> 00:00:59,380
Hayley, SubHub is not a career.
30
00:00:59,420 --> 00:01:02,380
It's a dead-end.
But I'm showing you a way out,
31
00:01:02,430 --> 00:01:04,040
complete with breakfast
at a little place
32
00:01:04,080 --> 00:01:05,300
I like to call...
33
00:01:05,340 --> 00:01:07,000
Johnny Fifties!
34
00:01:08,350 --> 00:01:10,130
I remember this place!
35
00:01:10,170 --> 00:01:11,520
We used to come here all the time.
36
00:01:11,570 --> 00:01:12,830
Johnny, my man!
37
00:01:12,870 --> 00:01:14,050
Gimme a piece of toast,
38
00:01:14,090 --> 00:01:15,960
and mash up these peas for me.
39
00:01:16,010 --> 00:01:18,970
But only if you promise
not to charge me for the peas.
40
00:01:19,010 --> 00:01:20,360
They're my property, Johnny.
41
00:01:20,400 --> 00:01:24,140
I won't pay for what's
already mine, Johnny.
42
00:01:24,190 --> 00:01:26,970
Again, Stan, my name is Sal.
43
00:01:27,020 --> 00:01:28,670
The restaurant is Johnny Fif...
44
00:01:28,710 --> 00:01:29,890
I'll have a shortstack of pan...
45
00:01:29,930 --> 00:01:31,540
No, the food is terrible.
46
00:01:31,590 --> 00:01:34,500
You just come to soak up
that authentic 1990s-style
47
00:01:34,550 --> 00:01:36,160
'50s atmosphere.
48
00:01:36,200 --> 00:01:38,990
Stan, I've got some bad news.
We're closing.
49
00:01:39,030 --> 00:01:40,900
Closing?! How could this be?!
50
00:01:40,940 --> 00:01:44,860
Well, people just don't care
about 1950s nostalgia anymore.
51
00:01:44,900 --> 00:01:47,730
Or maybe we'd have survived if,
I dunno, every day
52
00:01:47,780 --> 00:01:49,780
you bought something
more expensive than toast.
53
00:01:49,820 --> 00:01:51,350
Johnny, 86 the toast.
54
00:01:51,390 --> 00:01:52,780
You can't expect people to eat
55
00:01:52,830 --> 00:01:54,740
after getting terrible
news like that!
56
00:01:56,920 --> 00:01:58,610
No! No! Stop the music!
57
00:01:58,660 --> 00:02:00,700
Not today, big brass band!
58
00:02:00,750 --> 00:02:02,010
Shut up! Shut up!
59
00:02:02,050 --> 00:02:04,180
You okay up there, Mr. Smith?
60
00:02:04,230 --> 00:02:06,190
Johnny Fifties is going under.
61
00:02:06,230 --> 00:02:08,710
It's bad news,
or to put it in terms
62
00:02:08,750 --> 00:02:10,890
you'll understand, bad music.
63
00:02:10,930 --> 00:02:12,800
Well,
if you love the place so much,
64
00:02:12,850 --> 00:02:14,410
maybe you could give them a loan?
65
00:02:14,460 --> 00:02:16,720
I just don't know where
I'd find the money.
66
00:02:16,760 --> 00:02:18,810
Anyway, you and the boys
take the rest of the week off,
67
00:02:18,850 --> 00:02:21,030
fully paid of course.
68
00:02:21,070 --> 00:02:23,640
Well it's official, gang.
69
00:02:23,680 --> 00:02:25,730
I have Hep C.
70
00:02:25,770 --> 00:02:28,210
I think it's time for some
major lifestyle changes...
71
00:02:28,250 --> 00:02:29,950
Red alert! Family emergency!
72
00:02:29,990 --> 00:02:31,430
What?! God what?!
73
00:02:31,470 --> 00:02:33,740
I'm too upset to say
what the emergency is.
74
00:02:33,780 --> 00:02:35,610
I must carve it.
75
00:02:38,440 --> 00:02:40,660
J...
76
00:02:40,700 --> 00:02:42,660
O...
77
00:02:42,700 --> 00:02:45,050
Oh, it's about Johnny Fifties closing.
78
00:02:45,100 --> 00:02:46,750
I heard him tell the Bandleader.
79
00:02:46,790 --> 00:02:49,270
Oh, yeah, Johnny Fifties!
80
00:02:49,320 --> 00:02:51,100
Their food sucks.
81
00:02:51,140 --> 00:02:52,970
And no Shock Top.
82
00:02:53,020 --> 00:02:54,670
Okay, my fingers hurt.
83
00:02:54,710 --> 00:02:56,280
It's Johnny Fifties.
84
00:02:56,320 --> 00:02:58,240
I cannot let
this restaurant close.
85
00:02:58,280 --> 00:02:59,850
- Why?
- Well, for one thing,
86
00:02:59,890 --> 00:03:01,420
it's part of my morning routine.
87
00:03:01,460 --> 00:03:02,940
But also, let's be honest.
88
00:03:02,980 --> 00:03:04,940
I'm a '50s kind of guy.
89
00:03:04,980 --> 00:03:06,590
Exhibit A... My suit.
90
00:03:06,640 --> 00:03:10,250
Oh, yeah,
your suit is sort of '50s.
91
00:03:10,290 --> 00:03:12,600
For a '50s guy like me,
letting Johnny Fifties
92
00:03:12,640 --> 00:03:15,170
close would be like admitting
the '50s were over.
93
00:03:15,210 --> 00:03:17,610
But the '50s are over!
94
00:03:17,650 --> 00:03:20,130
Don't you get it?!
If you're truly nostalgic,
95
00:03:20,170 --> 00:03:21,780
nothing is ever over!
96
00:03:21,830 --> 00:03:23,660
As someone who was alive back then
97
00:03:23,700 --> 00:03:26,880
with a Wolfman Jack-type
radio DJ persona
98
00:03:26,920 --> 00:03:30,010
and a number-one doo wop hit,
I think Stan's onto something.
99
00:03:30,050 --> 00:03:31,620
Look around this house, guys.
100
00:03:31,660 --> 00:03:32,970
Not a lot of love for the '50s.
101
00:03:33,010 --> 00:03:34,800
He's right. No Jell-O molds.
102
00:03:34,840 --> 00:03:36,280
No hula hoops!
103
00:03:36,320 --> 00:03:40,370
Plus, you're not watching
TV while you eat!
104
00:03:40,410 --> 00:03:43,200
And even if you were,
Happy Days is never on!
105
00:03:43,240 --> 00:03:44,890
There it is, but it's a bad one,
106
00:03:44,940 --> 00:03:46,201
doesn't count... too much Potsie.
107
00:03:46,240 --> 00:03:47,850
That's it! If I'm going to
108
00:03:47,900 --> 00:03:49,030
save the restaurant...
109
00:03:49,070 --> 00:03:50,460
You have to improve the food?
110
00:03:50,510 --> 00:03:53,160
I need to get people to love
the '50s again!
111
00:03:53,210 --> 00:03:55,690
There's no time to lose!
112
00:03:55,730 --> 00:03:59,040
Did you know glory holes were
much, much larger in the '50s?
113
00:03:59,080 --> 00:04:01,040
One time me and both
Everly Brothers
114
00:04:01,080 --> 00:04:02,300
stuck our junk in one together
115
00:04:02,350 --> 00:04:03,740
all at the same time.
116
00:04:03,780 --> 00:04:05,070
And you know who was
on the other side?
117
00:04:05,090 --> 00:04:06,650
The Big Bopper.
118
00:04:06,700 --> 00:04:08,483
At least that's what it felt
like, I never saw him.
119
00:04:09,700 --> 00:04:12,270
What? Never seen
a successful person before?
120
00:04:13,710 --> 00:04:15,320
Is this supposed to be like Dad's
121
00:04:15,360 --> 00:04:16,930
"leap of faith" out of bed?
122
00:04:16,970 --> 00:04:19,320
It's a natural expression
of drive.
123
00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:21,230
The Regional Manager's
coming to SubHub today
124
00:04:21,280 --> 00:04:23,720
and I am gonna show him, and Dad,
125
00:04:23,760 --> 00:04:25,760
that I've got
what it takes to get ahead.
126
00:04:27,410 --> 00:04:30,160
Mr. S throws our food
on the ground
127
00:04:30,200 --> 00:04:32,160
and she jumps all over the table?
128
00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:34,510
Someone's gotta say it.
129
00:04:34,550 --> 00:04:37,560
They made a mockery of breakfast.
130
00:04:40,120 --> 00:04:42,470
As your regional manager, I'm here
131
00:04:42,520 --> 00:04:45,390
because by now, most of you
have seen the leaked documents
132
00:04:45,430 --> 00:04:47,520
referring to your positions
as "dead-end jobs."
133
00:04:47,570 --> 00:04:49,050
What documents?
134
00:04:49,090 --> 00:04:50,610
It doesn't matter.
135
00:04:50,660 --> 00:04:54,050
The point here is
your jobs are not dead-ends.
136
00:04:54,090 --> 00:04:55,180
Yes, dead-ender in the back.
137
00:04:55,230 --> 00:04:56,700
So are we allowed to drink
138
00:04:56,750 --> 00:04:58,050
the Oranginas or what?
139
00:04:58,100 --> 00:04:59,530
Give me a promotion!
140
00:04:59,580 --> 00:05:01,100
I've got the keys to success!
141
00:05:01,140 --> 00:05:03,970
Or should I say the bathroom?
142
00:05:04,020 --> 00:05:07,060
Pee pee? Poo pee?
What's your pleasure?
143
00:05:07,110 --> 00:05:08,720
Tell me what you need,
what SubHub needs,
144
00:05:08,760 --> 00:05:10,240
and I am on it.
145
00:05:10,280 --> 00:05:12,890
Well, we would like
to open a new location
146
00:05:12,940 --> 00:05:15,010
in the hugely-desirable-
nearly-impossible-to-find-
147
00:05:15,030 --> 00:05:17,120
an-open-space-in Gaslamp District.
148
00:05:17,160 --> 00:05:20,120
I know just the place.
149
00:05:21,430 --> 00:05:24,910
Johnny Fifties is closing
and SubHub can take its place!
150
00:05:24,950 --> 00:05:26,390
Great idea!
151
00:05:26,430 --> 00:05:27,560
You're promoted!
152
00:05:27,610 --> 00:05:29,390
The rest of you... demoted!
153
00:05:29,430 --> 00:05:32,220
You live here now
and get paid in pepperoni.
154
00:05:32,260 --> 00:05:33,790
According to math,
155
00:05:33,830 --> 00:05:36,270
Johnny Fifties can stay afloat
for eight weeks.
156
00:05:36,310 --> 00:05:37,920
And we're gonna need
every minute of it
157
00:05:37,960 --> 00:05:39,920
to get people
to love the '50s again.
158
00:05:39,970 --> 00:05:41,750
'Cause you really have to
love the '50s
159
00:05:41,790 --> 00:05:44,580
to stomach your signature
nauseating burgers.
160
00:05:44,620 --> 00:05:45,930
I mean you no disrespect, Johnny.
161
00:05:45,970 --> 00:05:47,410
My name is Sal.
162
00:05:47,450 --> 00:05:50,320
I call it "Operation '50s Heat Up:
163
00:05:50,370 --> 00:05:53,810
Get 'Em Interested In The '50s
And Save Johnny Fifties!"
164
00:05:53,850 --> 00:05:57,160
What if we call it
"Operation '50s Fever?"
165
00:05:57,200 --> 00:06:00,160
Horrible idea.
Klaus, you're going to Milwaukee
166
00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:02,030
to get the statue
of Arthur Fonzarelli,
167
00:06:02,070 --> 00:06:03,990
aka The Bronze Fonz.
168
00:06:04,030 --> 00:06:05,250
I need it! Go now!
169
00:06:08,650 --> 00:06:10,260
I don't really need
the Fonz statue.
170
00:06:10,300 --> 00:06:11,690
We just can't have Klaus around
171
00:06:11,740 --> 00:06:13,260
sloshing his bowl water all over
172
00:06:13,300 --> 00:06:14,830
everyone's classic cars.
173
00:06:14,870 --> 00:06:17,130
Everyone will have classic cars?
174
00:06:17,180 --> 00:06:18,830
And more! Here's some concept art
175
00:06:18,870 --> 00:06:20,880
I had made to inspire us.
176
00:06:20,920 --> 00:06:24,490
Cruisin' cars, lawn darts,
asbestos chunks,
177
00:06:24,530 --> 00:06:28,140
Johnny Fifties bursting with
hungry Fonzie impersonators.
178
00:06:28,190 --> 00:06:31,500
Stan, you seem to be leaning
pretty heavily on Fonzie.
179
00:06:31,540 --> 00:06:34,670
People also like,
I don't know, Elvis?
180
00:06:34,720 --> 00:06:37,280
Oh, you mean Singing Fonzie.
Good idea!
181
00:06:37,330 --> 00:06:39,460
I always wanted to be
like Marilyn Monroe
182
00:06:39,500 --> 00:06:41,680
and have an air vent
blow my dress up!
183
00:06:41,720 --> 00:06:43,680
You'll do it!
And Roger, you do your old
184
00:06:43,720 --> 00:06:45,640
Wolfman Jack DJ persona.
185
00:06:45,680 --> 00:06:48,080
That persona was unforgettable.
186
00:06:48,120 --> 00:06:50,210
What was his name again?
Wolfman Puck?
187
00:06:50,250 --> 00:06:51,470
No, that's not it. Don't worry,
188
00:06:51,520 --> 00:06:52,730
it'll come to me on the air.
189
00:06:52,780 --> 00:06:54,210
Jeff, you're a beatnik,
190
00:06:54,260 --> 00:06:57,170
and Steve, you can be a nerd
or "square."
191
00:06:57,220 --> 00:06:59,870
Easy. True to the time period,
192
00:06:59,910 --> 00:07:02,530
I'll put tape on my glasses
to make them appear broken...
193
00:07:02,570 --> 00:07:04,220
No need!
194
00:07:04,270 --> 00:07:06,530
Just like James Dean,
I pulled my punch
195
00:07:06,570 --> 00:07:07,920
so I only hurt the glasses.
196
00:07:07,970 --> 00:07:09,190
No you didn't!
197
00:07:09,230 --> 00:07:11,580
Hayley, you can be Spudnik.
198
00:07:11,620 --> 00:07:13,840
He was a very famous potato.
199
00:07:13,890 --> 00:07:17,370
Dad, you won't believe this.
Your walk gave me drive.
200
00:07:17,410 --> 00:07:21,240
And that drive got me a job
as manager of a new SubHub
201
00:07:21,280 --> 00:07:23,330
opening where Johnny Fifties
used to be!
202
00:07:23,370 --> 00:07:26,070
But Johnny Fifties is where
Johnny Fifties used to be.
203
00:07:26,110 --> 00:07:28,030
Not for long. After I told them
204
00:07:28,070 --> 00:07:31,030
it was closing,
SubHub sweet-talked the landlord
205
00:07:31,080 --> 00:07:33,430
into taking over
the lease in two days!
206
00:07:33,470 --> 00:07:36,210
But two days isn't nearly
enough time for my plan!
207
00:07:36,260 --> 00:07:37,690
Aren't you happy for me?
208
00:07:37,740 --> 00:07:39,690
Happy? You betrayed me.
209
00:07:39,740 --> 00:07:42,040
You're trying to destroy
a place I love.
210
00:07:42,090 --> 00:07:43,550
So, you don't like it
when I don't have drive,
211
00:07:43,570 --> 00:07:45,700
and you don't like
when I do have drive.
212
00:07:45,740 --> 00:07:47,050
What even is this?
213
00:07:47,090 --> 00:07:49,360
"Operation '50s Fever"?
214
00:07:49,400 --> 00:07:51,050
My original idea.
Klaus was never here.
215
00:07:51,100 --> 00:07:53,270
Blueprints for a leather jacket?
216
00:07:53,320 --> 00:07:56,100
A list of places
for Beaver to leave it?
217
00:07:56,140 --> 00:07:59,240
This plan is so stupid.
218
00:07:59,280 --> 00:08:01,540
Thank God I commissioned
concept art
219
00:08:01,590 --> 00:08:03,890
for every possible betrayal.
220
00:08:03,940 --> 00:08:07,070
This is exactly how I feel,
right down to my giant ass!
221
00:08:07,110 --> 00:08:08,590
I can't let her do this to me.
222
00:08:08,640 --> 00:08:09,940
New plan!
223
00:08:09,980 --> 00:08:12,250
Oh, good, that one
was kinda stupid...
224
00:08:12,290 --> 00:08:14,250
The old plan, faster!
225
00:08:14,290 --> 00:08:17,730
We'll do "Operation '50s Fever"
in 48 hours!
226
00:08:17,780 --> 00:08:20,390
Why have I pinned my hopes
on this fool?
227
00:08:20,430 --> 00:08:23,260
Would a fool get concept art
of himself
228
00:08:23,300 --> 00:08:25,650
dressed as a court jester
pleading with the king
229
00:08:25,700 --> 00:08:27,570
not to cut his head off
for not having enough bells
230
00:08:27,610 --> 00:08:29,090
on his jester hat?
231
00:08:29,130 --> 00:08:31,620
I'm a goner! Welp, lesson learned.
232
00:08:31,660 --> 00:08:33,270
Shoulda had more bells.
233
00:08:33,660 --> 00:08:35,880
Big Daddy Stan
needs Langley to catch
234
00:08:35,920 --> 00:08:38,060
a bad case of '50s Fever
235
00:08:38,100 --> 00:08:39,800
or else Hayley
will be proven right
236
00:08:39,840 --> 00:08:42,100
that Stan's plan
to save Johnny Fifties
237
00:08:42,150 --> 00:08:44,930
is a stupid, stupid plan.
238
00:08:44,980 --> 00:08:46,850
You heard it from me,
239
00:08:46,890 --> 00:08:48,200
what's my name again?
240
00:08:48,240 --> 00:08:49,890
The '50s was so long ago.
241
00:08:49,940 --> 00:08:52,550
Wolfboy... George?
242
00:08:52,590 --> 00:08:54,810
Did I mention Hayley thinks
Stan's plan is stupid?
243
00:08:56,510 --> 00:08:59,820
I feel betrayed
by Hayley all over again!
244
00:08:59,860 --> 00:09:01,560
- And by you!
- Why me?!
245
00:09:01,600 --> 00:09:03,470
Because you're here
talking my ear off
246
00:09:03,520 --> 00:09:05,130
when you should be
buying extra food
247
00:09:05,170 --> 00:09:07,430
for when I ignite '50s Fever!
248
00:09:08,610 --> 00:09:10,390
But Stan, I'm bankrupt...
249
00:09:10,440 --> 00:09:12,700
You don't say
you're "bankrupt," Daddy-O.
250
00:09:12,740 --> 00:09:14,270
You say you're "on the skids."
251
00:09:16,400 --> 00:09:18,180
I like your plan.
252
00:09:18,230 --> 00:09:20,930
And I love not wearing seatbelts.
253
00:09:22,060 --> 00:09:24,060
The CIA's Cuban Operations
254
00:09:24,100 --> 00:09:26,670
really came through with these
classic cars on short notice.
255
00:09:26,710 --> 00:09:28,500
Paging Mr. Bega,
256
00:09:28,540 --> 00:09:31,330
can you say "Mambo Number '50s"?
257
00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:35,640
Plenty more where that came from.
258
00:09:35,680 --> 00:09:37,160
Like a greaser, I've got goodies
259
00:09:37,200 --> 00:09:38,900
rolled up all over my body.
260
00:09:38,940 --> 00:09:40,120
Pack of raisins.
261
00:09:40,160 --> 00:09:42,210
Box of Goobers in my waistband.
262
00:09:48,560 --> 00:09:50,080
Where are all the contestants?!
263
00:09:50,130 --> 00:09:52,260
You had one simple job, Steve.
264
00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:54,610
To gather 500 to 600 professional
265
00:09:54,650 --> 00:09:56,960
Fonzie impersonators
on an hour's notice.
266
00:09:57,000 --> 00:09:58,960
How was I supposed
to get the word out?
267
00:09:59,010 --> 00:10:00,530
You won't let me use my computer!
268
00:10:00,570 --> 00:10:02,140
Before there was e-mail,
269
00:10:02,180 --> 00:10:04,530
there was just plain tell-e-grams.
270
00:10:04,580 --> 00:10:07,800
And we attached them to the
infamously dangerous lawn darts.
271
00:10:07,840 --> 00:10:11,240
Infamously dangerously fun.
272
00:10:12,590 --> 00:10:14,850
Have faith, son.
Trends always start with
273
00:10:14,890 --> 00:10:17,550
one single brave cool guy.
274
00:10:17,590 --> 00:10:19,770
But this time it's not James Dean.
275
00:10:19,810 --> 00:10:21,590
It's James Me...
276
00:10:23,900 --> 00:10:25,560
Enough of these faulty toothpicks!
277
00:10:25,600 --> 00:10:29,390
It's time to show Hayley
just how wrong she is.
278
00:10:29,430 --> 00:10:30,430
Okay, one more try.
279
00:10:35,700 --> 00:10:37,350
Oh, Marilyn!
280
00:10:37,390 --> 00:10:39,660
Time to walk
over that normal vent!
281
00:10:40,700 --> 00:10:42,920
I'm in a hurry! Outta my way!
282
00:10:42,960 --> 00:10:45,710
The air's so hot!
283
00:10:45,750 --> 00:10:46,790
My genitals!
284
00:10:46,840 --> 00:10:48,620
Agh!
285
00:10:52,760 --> 00:10:53,970
Hey, let's play chicken!
286
00:10:57,200 --> 00:10:59,590
Someone shred that guy
and slather him
287
00:10:59,630 --> 00:11:00,980
in hot mayonnaise
and marshmallows,
288
00:11:01,030 --> 00:11:02,550
because he's a chicken,
289
00:11:02,590 --> 00:11:04,720
and that's my recipe
for Chicken Ambrosia.
290
00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:11,690
Here's one that never fails
to spark '50s Fever...
291
00:11:11,730 --> 00:11:14,170
passing a milkshake between cars.
292
00:11:14,780 --> 00:11:16,080
I can't reach you!
293
00:11:16,130 --> 00:11:17,870
I like bongos!
294
00:11:20,260 --> 00:11:21,480
Too thick!
295
00:11:21,520 --> 00:11:23,350
The way it used to be!
296
00:11:27,790 --> 00:11:31,100
Ribs broken by steering column...
297
00:11:31,140 --> 00:11:33,140
the way it used to be.
298
00:11:35,150 --> 00:11:36,450
Yes!
299
00:11:36,500 --> 00:11:38,850
Yay!
300
00:11:38,890 --> 00:11:40,980
With '50s Fever failing to catch,
301
00:11:41,020 --> 00:11:43,810
it looks like SubHub's
new location is all
302
00:11:43,850 --> 00:11:46,590
but a certainty, which means...
303
00:11:46,640 --> 00:11:48,200
I'm really gonna be a manager!
304
00:11:48,250 --> 00:11:50,160
With a manager's salary.
305
00:11:50,200 --> 00:11:52,950
And a manager's mansion.
306
00:11:52,990 --> 00:11:56,080
Who is this
concept artist everyone's using?
307
00:11:56,120 --> 00:11:59,390
None of this would be possible
without you.
308
00:11:59,430 --> 00:12:01,610
My rod is too hot!
309
00:12:01,650 --> 00:12:03,350
And the Goobers in my pants
melted!
310
00:12:05,390 --> 00:12:06,830
Yeah.
311
00:12:06,870 --> 00:12:08,920
None of this would be possible
without me.
312
00:12:08,960 --> 00:12:11,490
You feel bad for a man
who doesn't want his daughter
313
00:12:11,530 --> 00:12:12,790
to live in a mansion?
314
00:12:12,840 --> 00:12:14,230
The best type of house?!
315
00:12:14,270 --> 00:12:17,100
It's all Hayley's fault!
316
00:12:17,140 --> 00:12:19,410
I should've known
she'd mess up having drive
317
00:12:19,450 --> 00:12:22,540
like she has everything
else in her life.
318
00:12:22,590 --> 00:12:24,240
That's it.
319
00:12:24,280 --> 00:12:26,890
You're live on the air with...
320
00:12:26,940 --> 00:12:28,110
some kinda wolf...
321
00:12:28,160 --> 00:12:29,640
Dad, I know you're listening,
322
00:12:29,680 --> 00:12:31,120
and I want you to know
323
00:12:31,160 --> 00:12:33,330
I'm with people who appreciate
my drive
324
00:12:33,380 --> 00:12:35,690
so much I'm getting a mansion.
325
00:12:35,730 --> 00:12:37,560
For our listeners who don't know,
326
00:12:37,600 --> 00:12:39,820
that's the best type of house.
327
00:12:39,860 --> 00:12:42,560
So just give up now
and stop embarrassing yourself!
328
00:12:43,820 --> 00:12:45,650
Another caller!
329
00:12:45,700 --> 00:12:47,000
This isn't over, Hayley.
330
00:12:47,040 --> 00:12:48,790
The fever is catching.
331
00:12:48,830 --> 00:12:50,480
It's the loser '50s guy!
332
00:12:50,530 --> 00:12:52,570
He's cheating
and using a cellphone!
333
00:12:52,620 --> 00:12:54,970
Loser? Maybe free asbestos
334
00:12:55,010 --> 00:12:56,270
will change your mind!
335
00:12:56,310 --> 00:12:58,800
The miracle molecule of the '50s!
336
00:12:58,840 --> 00:13:00,750
And...
337
00:13:00,800 --> 00:13:03,580
it's only gonna get more
feverish when people see,
338
00:13:06,720 --> 00:13:08,670
a James Dean type like me
339
00:13:08,720 --> 00:13:12,070
in a classic teenage knife fight
up at the old observatory!
340
00:13:12,110 --> 00:13:14,510
DJ, play a song of betrayal.
341
00:13:14,550 --> 00:13:17,510
I wanna dedicate it
to my daughter.
342
00:13:17,550 --> 00:13:20,770
♪ Betrayal is a terrible thing ♪
343
00:13:20,820 --> 00:13:23,250
♪ The pain can last so long ♪
344
00:13:23,300 --> 00:13:26,130
♪ Oh, the devil's gonna poke
you in your giant ass ♪
345
00:13:26,170 --> 00:13:29,650
♪ And your daughter's
gonna cheer him on ♪
346
00:13:32,570 --> 00:13:34,220
Watch out, teens!
347
00:13:34,270 --> 00:13:37,790
This rebel's gonna cause you
to love the '50s!
348
00:13:39,270 --> 00:13:40,660
Oh, my God!
349
00:13:40,710 --> 00:13:42,360
You stabbed me!
350
00:13:42,400 --> 00:13:44,230
It's just a nick! Please like this
351
00:13:44,280 --> 00:13:45,890
so I can prove my daughter wrong!
352
00:13:45,930 --> 00:13:47,500
Please, I beg you!
353
00:13:47,540 --> 00:13:48,710
I'm not crazy!
354
00:13:48,760 --> 00:13:50,760
I just really love a restaurant.
355
00:13:52,680 --> 00:13:54,810
That's him! The Bowzer
from Sha Na Na lookalike
356
00:13:54,850 --> 00:13:56,420
who pooped his pants!
357
00:13:56,460 --> 00:13:58,990
James Dean... Goobers.
358
00:13:59,030 --> 00:14:00,940
Yeah, that's what they all say.
359
00:14:00,990 --> 00:14:03,640
We've got a warrant for your
arrest and plenty of witnesses.
360
00:14:07,430 --> 00:14:10,690
Before you arrest me,
I just want to say
361
00:14:10,740 --> 00:14:12,740
none of that stuff I did was wrong
362
00:14:12,780 --> 00:14:15,050
in the '50s.
You could get away with
363
00:14:15,090 --> 00:14:17,610
all kinds of
crazy stuff because...
364
00:14:17,660 --> 00:14:20,570
♪ We didn't know
that was bad yet ♪
365
00:14:20,620 --> 00:14:22,270
♪ We didn't know
that could kill ya ♪
366
00:14:24,790 --> 00:14:27,490
♪ Turn back the page
to an innocent age ♪
367
00:14:27,540 --> 00:14:29,930
♪ We didn't know it was wrong ♪
368
00:14:29,970 --> 00:14:31,930
You threw a lawn dart in my skull!
369
00:14:31,980 --> 00:14:33,450
♪ We didn't know it was wrong! ♪
370
00:14:33,500 --> 00:14:34,850
You stabbed my son!
371
00:14:34,890 --> 00:14:36,110
♪ We didn't know, we didn't know ♪
372
00:14:36,150 --> 00:14:37,810
You threw asbestos in my face!
373
00:14:37,850 --> 00:14:39,290
♪ Now you're insulated, dude ♪
374
00:14:39,330 --> 00:14:40,680
My genitals!
375
00:14:40,720 --> 00:14:42,290
♪ Wow, you're Howdy Doody smooth ♪
376
00:14:42,330 --> 00:14:45,080
♪ Turn back the page
to an innocent age ♪
377
00:14:45,120 --> 00:14:47,600
♪ We didn't know it was wrong ♪
378
00:14:47,640 --> 00:14:49,120
But what if someone gets hurt?
379
00:14:49,170 --> 00:14:50,780
The nurses all wear funny hats!
380
00:14:50,820 --> 00:14:53,650
What about the rampant sexism
and racism?
381
00:14:53,690 --> 00:14:55,090
It was wrong then
and it is wrong now
382
00:14:55,130 --> 00:14:56,610
and in our new '50s,
it isn't allowed!
383
00:14:57,740 --> 00:14:59,260
The Fonzies came!
384
00:14:59,310 --> 00:15:02,480
- ♪ Ay ♪
- ♪ Ay ♪
385
00:15:02,530 --> 00:15:05,310
♪ We're Fonzies
and we're here to say ♪
386
00:15:05,360 --> 00:15:08,320
- ♪ Ay ♪
- ♪ Ay ♪
387
00:15:08,360 --> 00:15:11,620
♪ '50s fever's here to stay ♪
388
00:15:11,670 --> 00:15:14,800
I get it! The '50s were about
willful ignorance!
389
00:15:14,840 --> 00:15:16,450
Now you're razzin' my berries!
390
00:15:16,500 --> 00:15:18,670
So I don't have to go to school?
391
00:15:18,720 --> 00:15:20,150
♪ That was the opposite of cool ♪
392
00:15:20,200 --> 00:15:21,720
And I can litter on the ground?
393
00:15:21,760 --> 00:15:22,880
♪ I call it nature's
lost and found ♪
394
00:15:22,900 --> 00:15:24,640
And I can eat trans fats?
395
00:15:24,680 --> 00:15:25,840
♪ Some say that's where
the flavor's at ♪
396
00:15:25,860 --> 00:15:27,420
So I can stab my son?
397
00:15:27,470 --> 00:15:28,990
♪ It's just a nick,
and yes, it's fun! ♪
398
00:15:29,030 --> 00:15:30,510
So I can drink and drive?
399
00:15:30,560 --> 00:15:31,860
♪ Fonzie did it all the time ♪
400
00:15:31,900 --> 00:15:33,470
Ay!
401
00:15:33,510 --> 00:15:35,950
♪ Turn back the page
to an innocent age ♪
402
00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:38,480
♪ We didn't know it was wrong ♪
403
00:15:40,570 --> 00:15:43,520
Now that you've ignited
'50s Fever, what's next, Stan?
404
00:15:43,570 --> 00:15:46,050
Going to Johnny Fifties,
saving it at long last?
405
00:15:47,880 --> 00:15:49,750
Too soon.
406
00:15:49,790 --> 00:15:51,710
These people aren't
hungry enough yet to choke down
407
00:15:51,750 --> 00:15:52,800
that wretched slop.
408
00:15:52,840 --> 00:15:54,580
Everyone, to the Sock Hop!
409
00:15:54,620 --> 00:15:56,320
It's over, Hayley.
410
00:15:56,360 --> 00:15:58,370
Everyone can't have '50s Fever.
411
00:15:58,410 --> 00:16:00,670
My god, it's happening in here!
412
00:16:00,720 --> 00:16:03,720
Wail on that black forest ham,
big daddy!
413
00:16:04,890 --> 00:16:06,900
Welp, we're throwing in the towel.
414
00:16:06,940 --> 00:16:09,860
SubHub Corporate is as quick to
give up as we are to celebrate.
415
00:16:09,900 --> 00:16:11,730
Why would he do this to me?
416
00:16:11,770 --> 00:16:14,210
He wanted me to have drive.
417
00:16:14,250 --> 00:16:15,380
Wait...
418
00:16:15,430 --> 00:16:16,860
drive...
419
00:16:16,910 --> 00:16:20,210
Time to fight '50s with '50s.
420
00:16:28,660 --> 00:16:30,830
Now that you've danced
yourselves ravenous
421
00:16:30,880 --> 00:16:34,050
and would eat trash
like wild boars, let's go...
422
00:16:34,100 --> 00:16:35,580
save Johnny Fift...
423
00:16:35,620 --> 00:16:38,230
I challenge you to a drag race!
424
00:16:39,320 --> 00:16:40,800
If I win the race,
425
00:16:40,840 --> 00:16:43,890
SubHub takes over Johnny Fifties.
426
00:16:43,930 --> 00:16:45,540
Why would I accept that
427
00:16:45,590 --> 00:16:47,280
when I already have
everything I want?
428
00:16:47,330 --> 00:16:51,110
Because... '50s Honor demands it.
429
00:16:54,940 --> 00:16:56,080
Okay! Okay!
430
00:16:56,120 --> 00:16:58,080
'50s Honor,
which I've just heard of,
431
00:16:58,120 --> 00:17:00,120
is everything to me!
432
00:17:00,170 --> 00:17:02,300
Let's drag!
433
00:17:02,650 --> 00:17:06,430
Everyone's finally tuning
into me, Dogboy Chuck,
434
00:17:06,480 --> 00:17:09,610
as we all wonder
who will win the big drag race.
435
00:17:09,650 --> 00:17:11,090
It's Stan vs. Hayley,
436
00:17:11,130 --> 00:17:13,180
Johnny Fifties vs. SubHub,
437
00:17:13,220 --> 00:17:14,530
past vs. future,
438
00:17:14,570 --> 00:17:17,400
today's glory holes vs. giant '50s
439
00:17:17,440 --> 00:17:19,010
Looney Tunes sized glory holes
440
00:17:19,060 --> 00:17:20,750
where you can just wave
at the guy or the gal
441
00:17:20,800 --> 00:17:21,800
on the other side.
442
00:17:24,930 --> 00:17:27,320
Hayley, before I win,
443
00:17:27,370 --> 00:17:29,330
I should finally be
honest with you.
444
00:17:29,370 --> 00:17:31,500
I wish Fonzie was my daughter.
445
00:17:31,550 --> 00:17:33,030
You're sick, Dad.
446
00:17:33,070 --> 00:17:35,940
And Fonzie is really more
of a '70s icon!
447
00:17:35,990 --> 00:17:38,425
Fonzie, Chachi, Potsie, Richie,
Fonzie, Chachi, Potsie, Richie!
448
00:17:40,030 --> 00:17:42,820
Don't! These cars are death traps!
449
00:17:42,860 --> 00:17:44,040
Don't worry, Steve.
450
00:17:44,080 --> 00:17:45,860
I've had my mechanics
working all night.
451
00:17:45,910 --> 00:17:47,610
Show 'em, boys!
452
00:17:47,650 --> 00:17:49,300
Ay!
453
00:17:49,350 --> 00:17:51,440
Safe enough for ya, Steve?
454
00:17:51,480 --> 00:17:55,220
And I'm DJ Apeman Snack,
the voice of a generation
455
00:17:55,270 --> 00:17:57,010
and the face of a genera...
456
00:17:57,050 --> 00:17:59,230
Damn it, you can't see
my face on the radio.
457
00:17:59,270 --> 00:18:00,880
I'll text you all a picture
of my face
458
00:18:00,920 --> 00:18:02,660
using AMBER Alert technology.
459
00:18:02,710 --> 00:18:04,140
Look at it even if you're driving.
460
00:18:06,150 --> 00:18:08,060
Sorry if my dick is also
in the picture.
461
00:18:08,100 --> 00:18:09,630
Don't let that
shock you off the road.
462
00:18:09,670 --> 00:18:12,240
And take off those seatbelts,
it's the '50s!
463
00:18:12,280 --> 00:18:14,370
Vietnam's around the corner
and it's gonna git ya!
464
00:18:18,460 --> 00:18:21,070
And now the song
you've all been waiting for,
465
00:18:21,120 --> 00:18:24,420
my very own number-one hit
from 1958,
466
00:18:24,470 --> 00:18:26,470
"Drag Race Angels"!
467
00:18:26,510 --> 00:18:29,780
This one's dedicated
to Stan and Hayley.
468
00:18:29,820 --> 00:18:32,960
♪ Drag race angels ♪
469
00:18:34,350 --> 00:18:36,480
♪ A father who's mean ♪
470
00:18:36,520 --> 00:18:38,830
♪ Drag race angels ♪
471
00:18:41,050 --> 00:18:43,230
♪ A daughter who dreams ♪
472
00:18:43,270 --> 00:18:45,230
Wait a second, I know this song.
473
00:18:45,270 --> 00:18:47,010
It was our song!
474
00:18:50,190 --> 00:18:53,280
♪ Remember when Hayley ♪
475
00:18:53,320 --> 00:18:56,940
♪ Was just a little girl? ♪
476
00:18:56,980 --> 00:19:00,240
♪ You'd eat at Johnny Fifties ♪
477
00:19:00,290 --> 00:19:02,590
♪ And drink a Malt
with two straws ♪
478
00:19:02,640 --> 00:19:04,810
♪ You love these memories ♪
479
00:19:04,860 --> 00:19:07,470
♪ Not the '50s,
you crazy drag race angel ♪
480
00:19:07,510 --> 00:19:10,430
This song really takes me back.
481
00:19:10,470 --> 00:19:13,470
And a lot of the lyrics
make more sense now than ever.
482
00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:16,000
I loved Johnny Fifties
because of the time
483
00:19:16,040 --> 00:19:17,780
I spent there with Hayley.
484
00:19:17,830 --> 00:19:19,650
But I can spend time with her now!
485
00:19:19,700 --> 00:19:22,130
Must kill Dad!
486
00:19:22,180 --> 00:19:24,220
Eesh. Or maybe I can't.
487
00:19:24,270 --> 00:19:26,530
Man, how would Fonzie fix this?
488
00:19:27,840 --> 00:19:29,400
Ay!
489
00:19:31,620 --> 00:19:33,620
Nay!
490
00:19:40,540 --> 00:19:42,590
The Bronze Fonz, Stan!
491
00:19:42,630 --> 00:19:44,290
I took some '50s-style benzos
492
00:19:44,330 --> 00:19:46,680
and drove to Milwaukee
and back in one day!
493
00:19:51,030 --> 00:19:53,250
Johnny Fifties is saved!
494
00:20:02,170 --> 00:20:04,000
Oh, my God! Dad, are you okay?
495
00:20:04,050 --> 00:20:05,740
Oh, Hayley, forgive me.
496
00:20:05,790 --> 00:20:08,530
I haven't been James Dean
or James Me.
497
00:20:08,570 --> 00:20:11,050
I've been plain old James Mean.
498
00:20:11,100 --> 00:20:13,270
Dad, you... you might have
brain damage.
499
00:20:13,320 --> 00:20:15,540
One of your pupils is so big.
500
00:20:15,580 --> 00:20:18,630
That's because I'm looking
at someone I love so big.
501
00:20:18,670 --> 00:20:21,060
Hayley, I want you to know
I support you
502
00:20:21,110 --> 00:20:23,070
wherever your drive
takes you next,
503
00:20:23,110 --> 00:20:24,720
SubHub or no SubHub.
504
00:20:26,550 --> 00:20:28,330
The toothpicks are back!
505
00:20:28,370 --> 00:20:31,860
I'm gonna drive you
to the hospital.
506
00:20:31,900 --> 00:20:34,030
I spy with my little eye...
507
00:20:34,080 --> 00:20:35,510
A table!
508
00:20:35,560 --> 00:20:38,380
It's our table!
509
00:20:39,170 --> 00:20:41,000
♪ Table angels ♪
510
00:20:43,520 --> 00:20:45,090
♪ They love each other now ♪
511
00:20:45,130 --> 00:20:49,310
♪ Don't worry about Sal ♪
512
00:20:49,350 --> 00:20:51,480
♪ He sells Chicken Ambrosia, ♪
513
00:20:51,530 --> 00:20:52,700
♪ He's a billionaire ♪
514
00:20:56,400 --> 00:20:57,530
Bye-bye! See you soon!
37363
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