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www.tvsubtitles.net
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Okay, so what's the show?
Let's just toss things out.
3
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- What if I'm the president?
- Of what planet?
4
00:00:16,840 --> 00:00:18,273
We'll take it slow.
5
00:00:18,375 --> 00:00:22,210
I will take it any way you want
6
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to give it to me.
7
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You and Merc?
8
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In fact...
9
00:00:26,877 --> 00:00:28,616
What's this?
10
00:00:28,718 --> 00:00:30,299
I don't know what I'm gonna tell her.
11
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You're gonna tell her nothing.
12
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That's what you're gonna tell her.
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There's a reason "hug the messenger"
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is not an expression.
15
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Are you okay?
16
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Uh-huh.
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00:00:50,919 --> 00:00:57,412
Synced & corrected by -robtor-
www.addic7ed.com
18
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Hey.
19
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Oh, this is so nice.
20
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I can't remember
the last time we were here.
21
00:01:39,918 --> 00:01:42,914
Or the last time I saw you
in big-girl shoes.
22
00:01:42,939 --> 00:01:43,986
Oh, I know.
23
00:01:44,011 --> 00:01:45,355
My feet were like,
24
00:01:45,380 --> 00:01:47,457
"Are we getting laid tonight or what?"
25
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By the way, this is on me.
26
00:01:51,963 --> 00:01:53,296
- Oh, no, no, no.
- Yes, yes.
27
00:01:53,397 --> 00:01:55,030
I want to do this.
28
00:01:55,132 --> 00:01:56,732
It's my thank-you lunch.
29
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For?
30
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For being an amazing friend.
31
00:01:59,837 --> 00:02:01,770
Well, I don't know how amazing...
32
00:02:01,872 --> 00:02:03,739
Bullshit.
33
00:02:03,841 --> 00:02:06,508
I could not have gotten
through this without you.
34
00:02:06,688 --> 00:02:07,687
And Prozac.
35
00:02:07,712 --> 00:02:09,021
- And Prozac.
- And weed.
36
00:02:09,046 --> 00:02:10,212
Well, sure, but...
37
00:02:10,314 --> 00:02:11,612
I can't take weed to lunch.
38
00:02:11,715 --> 00:02:13,414
I'm sure if we went through your purse,
39
00:02:13,439 --> 00:02:15,539
we'd find that's not true.
40
00:02:15,719 --> 00:02:17,724
I also have a little bit of...
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- Hi.
- Hi.
42
00:02:18,655 --> 00:02:19,704
I'm AJ.
43
00:02:19,729 --> 00:02:21,304
- I'll be your waiter today.
- Yeah, hi, AJ.
44
00:02:21,329 --> 00:02:23,691
- Can you just give us a sec?
- Absolutely.
45
00:02:23,793 --> 00:02:25,443
- Whenever you're ready.
- Thank you.
46
00:02:27,429 --> 00:02:29,563
I also have a little bit of news.
47
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- You broke up with Merc.
- What? No.
48
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All right, well, you go.
49
00:02:34,837 --> 00:02:37,537
Actually, that part is going great.
50
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Great.
51
00:02:39,541 --> 00:02:41,453
I might be pregnant.
52
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God, it feels so weird
to hear it out loud.
53
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I haven't told Merc yet.
54
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You're the first.
55
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Not even my shrink.
56
00:02:52,453 --> 00:02:54,366
He should probably be looped in.
57
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The thing is, I think...
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Okay, do not freak.
59
00:03:02,187 --> 00:03:03,538
I think I want to keep it.
60
00:03:03,563 --> 00:03:04,662
Definitely talk to your shrink.
61
00:03:04,765 --> 00:03:05,897
I know, I know.
62
00:03:05,999 --> 00:03:08,317
I always said I never wanted one,
63
00:03:09,357 --> 00:03:10,675
but now, I'm thinking...
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Why not?
65
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You know?
66
00:03:14,408 --> 00:03:16,875
I mean, I'm almost 37.
67
00:03:16,900 --> 00:03:18,399
- I'm 39.
- Mm-hmm.
68
00:03:18,577 --> 00:03:21,945
And Merc and I are in such a good place.
69
00:03:21,970 --> 00:03:23,337
Okay.
70
00:03:23,516 --> 00:03:27,451
It's like this was kind of meant to be.
71
00:03:28,788 --> 00:03:33,457
May I just play devil's advocate here?
72
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Merc is screwing Morning Randolph.
73
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What?
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00:03:38,035 --> 00:03:39,962
And they're engaged. I'm sorry.
75
00:03:40,598 --> 00:03:42,498
Ooh, tha...
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That's not possible.
77
00:03:44,035 --> 00:03:45,968
Not yet, AJ.
78
00:03:48,573 --> 00:03:51,641
I spoke with her.
79
00:03:51,743 --> 00:03:52,941
I saw the ring.
80
00:03:53,043 --> 00:03:54,843
There's a ring?
81
00:03:54,945 --> 00:03:56,545
I'm sorry.
82
00:03:57,781 --> 00:04:00,107
- Is it big?
- Does it matter?
83
00:04:00,132 --> 00:04:01,991
- How big?
- Don't do this to yourself.
84
00:04:02,016 --> 00:04:03,618
- How big?
- Like...
85
00:04:03,720 --> 00:04:05,487
That's, like, Mariah Carey big.
86
00:04:05,589 --> 00:04:08,490
- All right, not that big, but...
- Jesus, that's still big!
87
00:04:08,592 --> 00:04:09,424
I don't know.
88
00:04:09,525 --> 00:04:10,491
It looked big to me,
89
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and it... sparkled a lot.
90
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I'm so sorry.
91
00:04:24,887 --> 00:04:25,986
How long?
92
00:04:26,088 --> 00:04:27,163
Have they been engaged?
93
00:04:27,188 --> 00:04:28,755
How long have you known?
94
00:04:30,692 --> 00:04:31,858
Not long.
95
00:04:32,038 --> 00:04:33,003
How long?
96
00:04:33,028 --> 00:04:35,602
Uh, hmm...
97
00:04:36,865 --> 00:04:38,131
A week.
98
00:04:38,232 --> 00:04:40,389
A week?
99
00:04:41,136 --> 00:04:43,002
You've known for a week?
100
00:04:43,104 --> 00:04:44,602
I wanted to tell you.
101
00:04:44,705 --> 00:04:46,171
I felt so awful.
102
00:04:46,273 --> 00:04:47,305
Aww.
103
00:04:47,330 --> 00:04:50,031
- Seriously, AJ.
- Come on, AJ.
104
00:04:51,672 --> 00:04:52,571
Look.
105
00:04:52,813 --> 00:04:54,012
I get it.
106
00:04:54,114 --> 00:04:56,715
But it's Merc who's the villain here.
107
00:04:56,817 --> 00:04:58,684
Don't be mad at me. Be mad at him.
108
00:04:58,709 --> 00:05:01,415
I think... yeah...
109
00:05:01,462 --> 00:05:04,088
I think there's enough mad
for both of you.
110
00:05:04,113 --> 00:05:06,179
Well, be madder at him.
111
00:05:06,358 --> 00:05:07,324
A week?
112
00:05:09,395 --> 00:05:10,695
Well, don't...
113
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You know, if you're ever
114
00:05:12,198 --> 00:05:13,798
just sittin' around, thinkin',
115
00:05:13,900 --> 00:05:16,867
"What are the cruelest
things I never got to do?"
116
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Off your bucket list.
117
00:05:20,205 --> 00:05:21,905
Jesus, AJ!
118
00:05:27,012 --> 00:05:28,311
Right.
119
00:05:28,413 --> 00:05:30,113
Is there anything
we've talked about so far
120
00:05:30,138 --> 00:05:31,014
that we actually like?
121
00:05:31,039 --> 00:05:32,082
Anything worth pursuing?
122
00:05:32,398 --> 00:05:33,897
I still like Whores.
123
00:05:34,356 --> 00:05:36,719
So Netflix is doing it. So what?
124
00:05:36,821 --> 00:05:39,888
There were two Capotes. Two Steve Jobs.
125
00:05:39,990 --> 00:05:42,891
Are you really comparing
Truman Capote and Steve Jobs
126
00:05:42,993 --> 00:05:44,226
to Whores?
127
00:05:44,328 --> 00:05:45,660
No, you're right.
128
00:05:45,763 --> 00:05:46,895
I'd watch Whores.
129
00:05:46,997 --> 00:05:49,765
They're already doing it.
130
00:05:49,867 --> 00:05:51,200
Fuckin' Netflix.
131
00:05:51,301 --> 00:05:52,372
It's just crazy to invest
132
00:05:52,401 --> 00:05:53,735
all our time in a show
133
00:05:53,760 --> 00:05:54,635
that's already being done.
134
00:05:54,738 --> 00:05:56,370
Yeah, yeah.
135
00:05:58,174 --> 00:06:00,208
I just like Whores so much.
136
00:06:06,182 --> 00:06:07,258
My father's girlfriend.
137
00:06:07,283 --> 00:06:08,982
Just ignore it.
138
00:06:09,084 --> 00:06:10,583
Okay, so...
139
00:06:10,608 --> 00:06:11,607
Maybe it's important.
140
00:06:12,755 --> 00:06:15,789
Pain in the ass. Yo.
141
00:06:15,891 --> 00:06:17,924
So, I'm sitting in
the kitchen with your father,
142
00:06:18,026 --> 00:06:19,893
and I say to him, "Do you want lunch?
143
00:06:19,995 --> 00:06:21,599
I've got egg salad.
144
00:06:21,624 --> 00:06:22,590
I've got tuna salad."
145
00:06:22,615 --> 00:06:23,581
And he says,
146
00:06:23,606 --> 00:06:25,732
"I don't like your tuna salad."
147
00:06:25,833 --> 00:06:27,699
So I go, "Since when?
148
00:06:27,802 --> 00:06:29,001
You love my tuna salad."
149
00:06:29,103 --> 00:06:30,069
And he says,
150
00:06:30,171 --> 00:06:31,336
"Not since you started using
151
00:06:31,438 --> 00:06:33,239
that shitty light mayonnaise."
152
00:06:33,340 --> 00:06:34,840
- Linda...
- Let me finish.
153
00:06:34,942 --> 00:06:36,341
So he says, "I'm not eating it
154
00:06:36,443 --> 00:06:37,810
with that crap in it."
155
00:06:37,912 --> 00:06:39,044
So we get in the car,
156
00:06:39,147 --> 00:06:40,913
we schlepp over to Target...
157
00:06:41,015 --> 00:06:41,947
- Linda!
- What?
158
00:06:42,049 --> 00:06:43,314
Is there a point to this?
159
00:06:43,772 --> 00:06:45,150
He's dead.
160
00:06:47,224 --> 00:06:48,920
- What?
- He's dead.
161
00:06:49,022 --> 00:06:51,122
- Dear Lord.
- Oh, my God.
162
00:06:51,224 --> 00:06:54,759
- Wait, my father is dead?
- Dead.
163
00:06:54,861 --> 00:06:57,128
So, he's picking up a jar of mayonnaise.
164
00:06:57,230 --> 00:06:59,130
One of those stupid big ones.
165
00:06:59,232 --> 00:07:00,463
Even if he lived, he'd be dead
166
00:07:00,565 --> 00:07:02,132
by the time we finished that thing.
167
00:07:02,234 --> 00:07:03,733
And all of a sudden, he goes...
168
00:07:05,337 --> 00:07:07,838
The jar drops.
There's mayonnaise everywhere.
169
00:07:07,940 --> 00:07:10,107
He just falls over, and I'm thinking,
170
00:07:10,209 --> 00:07:12,086
"Now we're gonna have to pay for that."
171
00:07:13,879 --> 00:07:16,113
- Dead?
- Yes! Dead!
172
00:07:16,215 --> 00:07:17,914
Why is this so difficult?
173
00:07:18,016 --> 00:07:20,249
- So where is he now?
- I don't know.
174
00:07:20,351 --> 00:07:22,251
The ambulance people came
and took him away.
175
00:07:22,353 --> 00:07:23,853
- Where?
- How do I know?
176
00:07:23,955 --> 00:07:27,190
- They just took him.
- Jesus Christ.
177
00:07:27,214 --> 00:07:28,858
Oh, and the best part is,
178
00:07:28,960 --> 00:07:30,480
I'm stuck here now.
179
00:07:31,018 --> 00:07:32,105
What?
180
00:07:32,130 --> 00:07:33,829
Yeah, the car keys were in his pocket.
181
00:07:33,931 --> 00:07:35,831
So now he's dead,
182
00:07:35,933 --> 00:07:38,399
and I'm standing here
at Target like a schmuck.
183
00:07:38,501 --> 00:07:41,515
What... so did they say what we do now?
184
00:07:41,617 --> 00:07:43,771
What we do now is
you come and pick me up!
185
00:07:43,874 --> 00:07:45,250
I'm not coming to pick you up.
186
00:07:45,275 --> 00:07:47,142
I got to find his body. Call a cab.
187
00:07:47,244 --> 00:07:48,606
I can't call a cab.
188
00:07:48,632 --> 00:07:50,398
He had the money. I have no money.
189
00:07:50,500 --> 00:07:51,731
Who are you? The Queen?
190
00:07:51,833 --> 00:07:53,180
How do you leave
the house without money?
191
00:07:53,282 --> 00:07:55,749
Next time,
I'll remember to bring my wallet
192
00:07:55,852 --> 00:07:57,384
in case my husband drops dead
193
00:07:57,486 --> 00:07:59,854
and leaves me stranded at Target.
194
00:07:59,956 --> 00:08:01,055
He's not your husband.
195
00:08:01,157 --> 00:08:02,389
Oh, go fuck yourself, okay?
196
00:08:02,491 --> 00:08:03,824
Just go fuck yourself.
197
00:08:03,926 --> 00:08:05,960
This is the worst day of my life!
198
00:08:06,062 --> 00:08:07,828
Yeah. Yeah.
199
00:08:07,929 --> 00:08:09,695
I'll try to track him down. Hang on.
200
00:08:09,797 --> 00:08:10,897
Call her an Uber.
201
00:08:10,999 --> 00:08:12,768
- I got to do this.
- Of course.
202
00:08:14,269 --> 00:08:15,835
Hello, Mrs. LeBlanc...
203
00:08:15,937 --> 00:08:17,036
She's not Mrs. LeBlanc.
204
00:08:17,138 --> 00:08:18,371
Tell him to go fuck himself.
205
00:08:18,473 --> 00:08:19,939
As often as I can.
206
00:08:20,041 --> 00:08:21,174
Who is this?
207
00:08:21,276 --> 00:08:22,308
Actually, we've met.
208
00:08:22,410 --> 00:08:24,410
This is Beverly Lincoln.
209
00:08:24,512 --> 00:08:25,844
The one with the hair?
210
00:08:26,497 --> 00:08:28,280
That could certainly be me.
211
00:08:28,382 --> 00:08:30,148
What do you want?
212
00:08:30,251 --> 00:08:32,918
Matt has asked us to help you get home.
213
00:08:33,020 --> 00:08:33,919
Where are you?
214
00:08:35,222 --> 00:08:36,791
In condiments.
215
00:08:37,571 --> 00:08:39,892
No, I mean, where is the store situated?
216
00:08:39,917 --> 00:08:41,741
We need to give them the coordinates.
217
00:08:41,843 --> 00:08:44,461
Oh, I remember you now.
218
00:08:44,563 --> 00:08:46,635
I'm at Target.
219
00:08:47,400 --> 00:08:48,609
Okay, which Target?
220
00:08:48,634 --> 00:08:49,967
La Cienega.
221
00:08:50,069 --> 00:08:51,468
The Target on La Cienega.
222
00:08:51,570 --> 00:08:53,337
I heard her.
223
00:08:53,439 --> 00:08:55,206
Okay, go wait in front of the store.
224
00:08:55,308 --> 00:08:57,275
- We're gonna get you an Uber.
- A what?
225
00:08:57,377 --> 00:08:58,942
- An Uber.
- An ubah?
226
00:08:59,044 --> 00:09:00,510
- An Uber.
- An ubah?
227
00:09:00,612 --> 00:09:03,346
Say it without the accent.
228
00:09:03,448 --> 00:09:06,482
- Uber.
- Oh, Jesus.
229
00:09:06,584 --> 00:09:08,551
I'm gonna turn you over to Sean.
230
00:09:08,653 --> 00:09:11,021
He can give you the details.
231
00:09:11,123 --> 00:09:12,255
Hello, Mrs. LeBlanc.
232
00:09:12,357 --> 00:09:14,157
She's not Mrs. LeBlanc!
233
00:09:14,259 --> 00:09:15,258
Fuck you!
234
00:09:15,360 --> 00:09:17,993
Your driver's name is Amjad.
235
00:09:18,095 --> 00:09:19,461
- What?
- Amjad.
236
00:09:19,563 --> 00:09:21,530
- Amjad?
- Amjad.
237
00:09:21,632 --> 00:09:24,099
- That's a person?
- He'll be there in six minutes.
238
00:09:24,201 --> 00:09:25,901
- How do you know?
- It's on my phone.
239
00:09:26,003 --> 00:09:28,337
- I'm on your phone.
- I have another phone.
240
00:09:28,439 --> 00:09:29,871
Who has two phones?
241
00:09:29,974 --> 00:09:31,473
No, I... don't...
242
00:09:31,575 --> 00:09:34,375
The point is your Uber driver, Amjad...
243
00:09:34,477 --> 00:09:35,543
Ubah. Amjad.
244
00:09:35,645 --> 00:09:36,911
Just put Matt on.
245
00:09:37,013 --> 00:09:38,346
Just put him back on!
246
00:09:38,448 --> 00:09:39,646
Hang on.
247
00:09:41,561 --> 00:09:43,594
All right, I found the body.
248
00:09:43,619 --> 00:09:45,519
Now I got to get a funeral
home to go pick it up.
249
00:09:45,621 --> 00:09:47,055
She's insisting on speaking to you.
250
00:09:47,157 --> 00:09:48,889
She doesn't seem to understand Uber,
251
00:09:48,992 --> 00:09:51,224
and she has issues
with her driver Amjad.
252
00:09:51,327 --> 00:09:53,060
She's clearly distraught.
253
00:09:53,162 --> 00:09:54,328
Let me handle it.
254
00:09:54,430 --> 00:09:55,228
Linda.
255
00:09:55,331 --> 00:09:56,629
Take the fucking Uber.
256
00:09:57,044 --> 00:09:57,910
Done.
257
00:10:01,036 --> 00:10:02,035
I'm so sorry.
258
00:10:02,137 --> 00:10:03,570
Yeah, she's a pain in the ass.
259
00:10:03,672 --> 00:10:06,039
No, about your father.
260
00:10:06,141 --> 00:10:08,140
Oh. That.
261
00:10:08,242 --> 00:10:09,608
Well, what're you gonna do?
262
00:10:12,345 --> 00:10:15,647
So, we'll get out of your hair
and let you deal with this.
263
00:10:15,749 --> 00:10:17,984
No, no, no. Stay.
I just need, like, a second.
264
00:10:18,009 --> 00:10:19,375
Then we can get back to work.
265
00:10:20,588 --> 00:10:22,521
Matt LeBlanc on one.
266
00:10:22,623 --> 00:10:23,589
Hey, bud. What's up?
267
00:10:23,691 --> 00:10:24,622
Hey, uh...
268
00:10:24,724 --> 00:10:26,324
My father just died.
269
00:10:26,426 --> 00:10:29,160
- Aw, no.
- Dropped dead at Target.
270
00:10:29,262 --> 00:10:31,629
Oh! Jesus, that is sad
on so many levels.
271
00:10:31,731 --> 00:10:33,498
So I, uh,
272
00:10:33,523 --> 00:10:35,177
I need a funeral home to go and
pick up the body.
273
00:10:35,202 --> 00:10:36,304
- Can you...
- I'm on it.
274
00:10:36,329 --> 00:10:37,617
Text me the info, and if there's
275
00:10:37,642 --> 00:10:38,544
anything else I can...
276
00:10:38,569 --> 00:10:39,899
Yeah, get me a Marvel franchise.
277
00:10:40,001 --> 00:10:43,107
One thing at a time.
278
00:10:44,166 --> 00:10:46,233
Okay, where were we?
279
00:10:46,412 --> 00:10:48,678
Are you sure you're up for this?
280
00:10:48,780 --> 00:10:50,247
Sure, yeah, why not?
281
00:10:50,272 --> 00:10:53,017
Well, I'm sorry,
but you just lost your father.
282
00:10:53,119 --> 00:10:55,461
You must be feeling... something.
283
00:10:55,486 --> 00:10:57,019
I feel stuff.
284
00:10:57,356 --> 00:10:58,587
I feel annoyed...
285
00:10:58,689 --> 00:11:00,656
that I have to handle this shit.
286
00:11:00,758 --> 00:11:02,025
I feel relieved...
287
00:11:02,127 --> 00:11:03,926
that stupid Linda's off the phone.
288
00:11:04,029 --> 00:11:05,495
I feel angry...
289
00:11:05,596 --> 00:11:06,733
at Netflix.
290
00:11:07,733 --> 00:11:08,899
And I'm also a little hungry.
291
00:11:09,204 --> 00:11:10,333
Probably all that mayonnaise talk.
292
00:11:10,435 --> 00:11:11,600
Anyone want a sandwich?
293
00:11:11,702 --> 00:11:14,703
You're not really eating mayonnaise now?
294
00:11:14,805 --> 00:11:16,138
Yep.
295
00:11:16,240 --> 00:11:18,787
I'm gonna look death in the face...
296
00:11:19,209 --> 00:11:21,076
and then I'm gonna
spread it on whole wheat
297
00:11:21,101 --> 00:11:22,067
with some turkey and Swiss.
298
00:11:24,148 --> 00:11:26,114
I've got to say, so far today,
299
00:11:26,711 --> 00:11:28,250
this is the best idea you've had.
300
00:11:28,545 --> 00:11:30,478
It's the mayonnaise.
301
00:11:32,732 --> 00:11:34,098
Let's say
302
00:11:34,123 --> 00:11:36,357
you could turn on your TV right now
303
00:11:36,736 --> 00:11:38,035
and watch anything you wanted.
304
00:11:38,568 --> 00:11:39,596
What would it be?
305
00:11:39,621 --> 00:11:41,228
- And it can't be Whores.
- Oh.
306
00:11:41,330 --> 00:11:43,264
Anything at all.
307
00:11:45,801 --> 00:11:48,635
- Hmm.
- What?
308
00:11:48,737 --> 00:11:50,303
I should probably call my mother.
309
00:11:50,405 --> 00:11:52,539
Really? Now? When we're on a roll?
310
00:11:52,640 --> 00:11:54,607
Yeah, well, I should let her know.
311
00:11:54,709 --> 00:11:56,176
Technically, they're still married.
312
00:11:56,278 --> 00:11:57,477
- You're joking.
- Nope.
313
00:11:57,579 --> 00:11:59,345
40 years she wouldn't
give him a divorce.
314
00:11:59,448 --> 00:12:02,615
She was all about
"till death do us part."
315
00:12:02,717 --> 00:12:04,317
So today's quite the payoff.
316
00:12:04,419 --> 00:12:06,985
Just two seconds. Keep going.
317
00:12:14,661 --> 00:12:16,395
- Hello?
- Ma?
318
00:12:16,497 --> 00:12:18,163
- Hello?
- Ma?
319
00:12:18,265 --> 00:12:19,131
- Hello?
- Ma.
320
00:12:19,233 --> 00:12:20,614
Put your hearing aids in.
321
00:12:20,639 --> 00:12:21,743
Put your hearing aids in.
322
00:12:21,768 --> 00:12:25,236
Hold on, I'm putting my hearing aids in.
323
00:12:27,773 --> 00:12:28,573
Hello?
324
00:12:28,674 --> 00:12:29,850
Ma. Feedback.
325
00:12:29,875 --> 00:12:31,142
Hold on.
326
00:12:31,244 --> 00:12:32,410
I can't hear.
327
00:12:32,512 --> 00:12:34,126
Feedback. Ma?
328
00:12:34,151 --> 00:12:35,613
I hate these damn things.
329
00:12:35,715 --> 00:12:37,315
Ma?
330
00:12:39,352 --> 00:12:41,451
- Hello?
- Can you hear me now?
331
00:12:41,553 --> 00:12:43,052
- Hello?
- Ma?
332
00:12:43,155 --> 00:12:45,655
- I took it out.
- Put it back.
333
00:12:50,596 --> 00:12:51,661
Hold on.
334
00:12:51,763 --> 00:12:53,663
Jesus Christ. Adjust it.
335
00:12:53,765 --> 00:12:55,108
Adjust it!
336
00:12:56,935 --> 00:12:59,602
- Better?
- Yeah. Yeah, better.
337
00:12:59,627 --> 00:13:00,460
Huh.
338
00:13:00,638 --> 00:13:03,205
So, what's new?
339
00:13:03,307 --> 00:13:04,706
Dad's dead.
340
00:13:06,544 --> 00:13:08,277
- What?
- He's dead.
341
00:13:08,379 --> 00:13:09,478
What?
342
00:13:09,580 --> 00:13:10,513
- Dead.
343
00:13:10,615 --> 00:13:12,181
He's so shut down.
344
00:13:12,283 --> 00:13:14,349
You're assuming there's
something there to shut.
345
00:13:14,451 --> 00:13:16,498
You saw what they were like together.
346
00:13:16,523 --> 00:13:18,186
No, I know, but it's his father.
347
00:13:20,490 --> 00:13:21,694
- Linda.
- Fuck.
348
00:13:21,797 --> 00:13:22,823
I can't do it. I can't.
349
00:13:22,925 --> 00:13:26,461
- I was last up.
- Oohh.
350
00:13:26,563 --> 00:13:27,762
Fine, fine, fine, fine.
351
00:13:27,864 --> 00:13:30,198
Argh! Hello.
352
00:13:30,300 --> 00:13:32,633
What's-his-name's still not here yet.
353
00:13:32,734 --> 00:13:35,402
Hang on. That's Sean's department.
354
00:13:36,539 --> 00:13:37,604
Hello, Linda.
355
00:13:37,706 --> 00:13:39,273
He's still not here.
356
00:13:39,375 --> 00:13:41,775
- Hang on, let me check.
- I'm starting to melt.
357
00:13:41,877 --> 00:13:44,478
- It says he should be there.
- Well, tell it he's not.
358
00:13:44,580 --> 00:13:46,346
- He's in a Kia.
- IKEA?
359
00:13:46,448 --> 00:13:47,781
I told you Target!
360
00:13:47,883 --> 00:13:51,684
- Target!
- He's in a Kia.
361
00:13:51,786 --> 00:13:53,519
- A what?
- A Kia.
362
00:13:53,621 --> 00:13:55,788
- A Kia?
- A Kia.
363
00:13:55,890 --> 00:13:56,889
A Kia?
364
00:13:56,991 --> 00:13:58,324
Hang on. Let me call him.
365
00:13:58,349 --> 00:13:59,248
Here's Beverly.
366
00:14:00,828 --> 00:14:02,228
Hello again.
367
00:14:02,330 --> 00:14:03,743
Ugh.
368
00:14:04,299 --> 00:14:05,697
Hello, Amjad?
369
00:14:05,799 --> 00:14:08,289
What type of Kia is it?
370
00:14:08,768 --> 00:14:10,768
It's a white Kia Rio.
371
00:14:10,870 --> 00:14:12,671
It's a white Kia Rio.
372
00:14:12,772 --> 00:14:15,173
- A Kiario?
- No.
373
00:14:15,275 --> 00:14:18,013
The model of the Kia is a Rio,
374
00:14:18,115 --> 00:14:20,645
and the color is white.
375
00:14:20,747 --> 00:14:23,447
Do you see a white car?
376
00:14:23,549 --> 00:14:24,682
Yeah.
377
00:14:24,783 --> 00:14:26,149
I'm standing right next to one.
378
00:14:26,252 --> 00:14:27,184
Wave to her.
379
00:14:28,854 --> 00:14:30,221
That's a Kia Rio?
380
00:14:30,323 --> 00:14:31,888
Yes, that's a Kia Rio,
381
00:14:31,990 --> 00:14:33,724
- and the gentleman...
- Oh, Jesus.
382
00:14:33,826 --> 00:14:34,791
I have no key.
383
00:14:34,893 --> 00:14:36,393
He had the keys in his pocket.
384
00:14:36,495 --> 00:14:37,728
I can't get into the house.
385
00:14:37,830 --> 00:14:40,196
I'm not sure what to tell you.
386
00:14:40,298 --> 00:14:41,797
God damn it. Tell Matt I'm locked out.
387
00:14:41,899 --> 00:14:43,499
I need his key.
388
00:14:43,602 --> 00:14:45,768
I'm afraid he's on with his mother.
389
00:14:45,870 --> 00:14:48,605
- Is she locked out?
- I don't think so.
390
00:14:48,707 --> 00:14:50,640
Then fuck her. Just put him on.
391
00:14:50,742 --> 00:14:52,408
Hang on.
392
00:14:52,510 --> 00:14:53,743
I just wanted you to know.
393
00:14:53,768 --> 00:14:54,800
- I don't know.
- I'm so sorry.
394
00:14:54,825 --> 00:14:56,288
It's, uh, Linda.
395
00:14:56,313 --> 00:14:58,452
She says she's locked out
and she needs your key.
396
00:14:58,554 --> 00:14:59,430
I don't have a key.
397
00:14:59,455 --> 00:15:00,820
How do you not have a key?
398
00:15:00,922 --> 00:15:02,386
How do you not have a key?
399
00:15:02,488 --> 00:15:04,319
- You live there.
- Would you like the phone?
400
00:15:04,421 --> 00:15:05,854
No, call in a fucking locksmith.
401
00:15:05,956 --> 00:15:07,556
Absolutely.
402
00:15:07,658 --> 00:15:09,625
It only gets better.
403
00:15:09,727 --> 00:15:10,859
Get who a locksmith?
404
00:15:10,961 --> 00:15:12,160
Linda.
405
00:15:12,263 --> 00:15:14,080
- Who?
- Linda.
406
00:15:14,105 --> 00:15:16,664
I don't believe I know
anyone by that name.
407
00:15:16,766 --> 00:15:17,898
All right, Ma.
408
00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:19,667
Ooh, that whore.
409
00:15:19,769 --> 00:15:21,902
Anyway, that's the news.
410
00:15:21,927 --> 00:15:22,991
Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait,
411
00:15:23,016 --> 00:15:24,372
how's he getting back here?
412
00:15:24,397 --> 00:15:25,563
- Who?
- Your father, who.
413
00:15:25,742 --> 00:15:27,608
- For what?
- His funeral.
414
00:15:27,710 --> 00:15:30,610
- What funeral?
- "What funeral?"
415
00:15:30,712 --> 00:15:32,845
After everything that asshole did?
416
00:15:32,947 --> 00:15:34,414
He's still my husband.
417
00:15:34,516 --> 00:15:36,783
I get to put him in the ground.
418
00:15:37,852 --> 00:15:39,352
Fine, I'll...
419
00:15:39,454 --> 00:15:41,345
I'll figure out a way to ship him back.
420
00:15:41,370 --> 00:15:42,269
Good.
421
00:15:42,294 --> 00:15:44,116
Now, I got to go to Costco.
422
00:15:44,141 --> 00:15:45,792
- What should I get you?
- For what?
423
00:15:45,894 --> 00:15:47,359
Well, you're coming in for this.
424
00:15:47,461 --> 00:15:49,067
- No, I'm not.
- He's your father.
425
00:15:49,168 --> 00:15:50,562
How's it gonna look?
426
00:15:50,665 --> 00:15:53,365
How'd it look 40 years ago
when he walked out on us?
427
00:15:53,467 --> 00:15:55,401
Oh, let it go, Matthew.
428
00:15:55,503 --> 00:15:56,568
He's dead.
429
00:15:56,671 --> 00:15:58,270
He's with God.
430
00:15:58,772 --> 00:16:00,272
I doubt that.
431
00:16:00,297 --> 00:16:01,239
Hello?
432
00:16:01,342 --> 00:16:03,642
- In here!
- Hey, babe.
433
00:16:03,744 --> 00:16:07,845
So, I've got some big news.
434
00:16:07,947 --> 00:16:09,180
Big big?
435
00:16:09,282 --> 00:16:10,848
Oh, pretty darn big.
436
00:16:10,950 --> 00:16:12,317
Hmm. Intriguing.
437
00:16:12,419 --> 00:16:16,654
Guess who's engaged to Morning Randolph?
438
00:16:20,059 --> 00:16:22,559
What?
439
00:16:22,661 --> 00:16:24,695
Obviously, no one told you,
440
00:16:24,797 --> 00:16:26,697
or you would've said something to me.
441
00:16:26,799 --> 00:16:29,232
But I guess... congratulations!
442
00:16:30,101 --> 00:16:32,369
Okay, that is crazy.
443
00:16:32,471 --> 00:16:34,738
Seriously loony tunes crazy.
444
00:16:34,840 --> 00:16:36,473
Just tellin' you what I heard.
445
00:16:36,575 --> 00:16:37,907
- From who?
- Not important.
446
00:16:38,009 --> 00:16:40,008
That I am engaged to Morning Randolph?
447
00:16:40,110 --> 00:16:43,011
This person was pretty sure.
She saw a ring.
448
00:16:43,113 --> 00:16:44,613
A ring? Jesus.
449
00:16:44,716 --> 00:16:46,582
I don't even know what to do with that.
450
00:16:46,607 --> 00:16:48,540
Either someone is fucking with you,
451
00:16:48,565 --> 00:16:50,831
or they're just nuts.
452
00:16:50,856 --> 00:16:52,556
Look, I totally get why you'd flip out.
453
00:16:52,581 --> 00:16:55,129
But I swear, it is not true.
454
00:16:55,159 --> 00:16:58,760
I swear on the lives of my children.
455
00:16:58,862 --> 00:17:00,862
First of all, engaged?
456
00:17:00,964 --> 00:17:01,929
Me?
457
00:17:02,031 --> 00:17:04,366
I'm still paying off the first three.
458
00:17:04,468 --> 00:17:06,934
And if I was ever gonna do it again,
459
00:17:06,959 --> 00:17:08,947
you know... you know...
460
00:17:08,972 --> 00:17:10,538
I love you.
461
00:17:10,640 --> 00:17:14,441
And Morning Randolph?
Are you kidding me?
462
00:17:14,543 --> 00:17:17,745
She's been around since,
like, Truman was president.
463
00:17:17,847 --> 00:17:20,280
Seriously, I think
they named planes after her
464
00:17:20,305 --> 00:17:21,482
in World War II.
465
00:17:21,507 --> 00:17:22,673
I mean...
466
00:17:30,057 --> 00:17:31,858
Okay.
467
00:17:31,959 --> 00:17:33,926
Okay, this... this is not fair.
468
00:17:36,163 --> 00:17:39,565
Look, clearly, I have a problem.
469
00:17:39,667 --> 00:17:42,568
I-I-I'm a deeply damaged person.
470
00:17:42,670 --> 00:17:44,704
It's-It's a sickness.
471
00:17:44,806 --> 00:17:47,672
There's something
profoundly wrong with me.
472
00:17:47,775 --> 00:17:52,544
But it's only because of how
much I care for you both
473
00:17:52,646 --> 00:17:53,812
that I haven't been able to...
474
00:17:53,914 --> 00:17:55,190
By the way, that stuff about
475
00:17:55,215 --> 00:17:56,981
the lives of my children...
476
00:17:57,083 --> 00:17:58,884
that's just an expression.
477
00:17:58,909 --> 00:18:00,188
God knows that.
478
00:18:01,187 --> 00:18:03,788
And can I just say,
I don't know how much you heard,
479
00:18:03,890 --> 00:18:05,523
but that crap about World War II,
480
00:18:05,625 --> 00:18:08,592
you know me, I just...
"blah, blah, blah."
481
00:18:08,694 --> 00:18:10,994
I mean, you know how much I care for...
482
00:18:11,096 --> 00:18:12,797
Which is, you know, not to take
483
00:18:12,899 --> 00:18:15,666
anything away from...
484
00:18:22,941 --> 00:18:25,041
Yeah, I got nothing.
485
00:18:31,616 --> 00:18:33,382
All right, I'm erasing Whores.
486
00:18:33,485 --> 00:18:35,117
Ooh.
487
00:18:35,219 --> 00:18:37,920
- What about racing whores?
- What?
488
00:18:37,945 --> 00:18:40,511
Whores in cars, competing.
489
00:18:40,578 --> 00:18:41,790
No!
490
00:18:41,892 --> 00:18:42,888
Why not?
491
00:18:42,921 --> 00:18:44,460
Because it's not a show.
492
00:18:44,562 --> 00:18:45,427
Yet.
493
00:18:46,730 --> 00:18:48,697
- Oh, come on.
- Seriously?
494
00:18:49,900 --> 00:18:51,399
- Roger.
- Linda.
495
00:18:51,502 --> 00:18:53,602
- I got to do this one.
- Oh, come on.
496
00:18:53,704 --> 00:18:54,936
What, you think I'm having fun?
497
00:18:55,037 --> 00:18:56,904
Well, imagine what it's like for us.
498
00:18:58,140 --> 00:19:00,775
Yo. We got to ship the body to Boston.
499
00:19:00,877 --> 00:19:01,851
Your turn.
500
00:19:03,580 --> 00:19:04,663
Hello, Linda.
501
00:19:04,700 --> 00:19:06,747
There's still no locksmith.
502
00:19:06,850 --> 00:19:07,875
Hang on.
503
00:19:07,900 --> 00:19:10,451
Beverly made those arrangements.
504
00:19:13,088 --> 00:19:15,021
- Hello again.
- Locksmith.
505
00:19:15,123 --> 00:19:16,401
Is on his way.
506
00:19:16,503 --> 00:19:18,091
He should be there any minute.
507
00:19:18,193 --> 00:19:21,728
He's from All-A Locksmith,
508
00:19:21,830 --> 00:19:24,698
and his name is... God, help me...
509
00:19:24,800 --> 00:19:25,765
Yarl.
510
00:19:25,868 --> 00:19:27,701
- Yarl?
- Yarl.
511
00:19:27,803 --> 00:19:29,902
No. No, no. Put Matt on.
512
00:19:30,004 --> 00:19:31,153
I want to talk to Matt.
513
00:19:31,178 --> 00:19:32,905
I'm afraid right now
he's making arrangements
514
00:19:33,007 --> 00:19:35,608
to ship the body to Boston.
515
00:19:35,710 --> 00:19:37,409
What? Stop him.
516
00:19:37,512 --> 00:19:38,410
Just put him on.
517
00:19:38,513 --> 00:19:39,912
God damn it, put him on!
518
00:19:42,149 --> 00:19:44,650
God damn it, she wants you.
519
00:19:44,752 --> 00:19:45,917
I'll call you back.
520
00:19:47,020 --> 00:19:47,863
What?
521
00:19:47,888 --> 00:19:49,453
You cannot bury him.
522
00:19:49,556 --> 00:19:50,522
What are you talking about?
523
00:19:50,624 --> 00:19:52,156
He's got to be cremated.
524
00:19:52,258 --> 00:19:53,825
- Who says?
- He says.
525
00:19:53,927 --> 00:19:55,159
He wants to be cremated,
526
00:19:55,261 --> 00:19:57,257
and he wants his ashes scattered at sea.
527
00:19:57,359 --> 00:19:58,696
At sea?
528
00:19:58,798 --> 00:20:01,566
The only thing he ever did
in the sea was piss in it.
529
00:20:01,591 --> 00:20:02,633
It's in his will.
530
00:20:02,735 --> 00:20:05,035
Fuck me. Fine.
531
00:20:06,271 --> 00:20:07,738
Call Roger back.
532
00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:09,573
Tell him the body needs to be cremated.
533
00:20:09,675 --> 00:20:11,008
Pain in my ass.
534
00:20:19,117 --> 00:20:20,716
Hello?
535
00:20:20,818 --> 00:20:22,652
- Adjust.
- What?
536
00:20:22,677 --> 00:20:24,510
Adjust.
537
00:20:25,657 --> 00:20:26,989
- Better?
- Better.
538
00:20:27,091 --> 00:20:28,925
So, you change your mind?
539
00:20:29,027 --> 00:20:29,859
You coming in?
540
00:20:29,961 --> 00:20:31,226
No, I'm not coming,
541
00:20:31,328 --> 00:20:32,895
and there's not gonna be a funeral.
542
00:20:32,997 --> 00:20:34,129
What does that mean?
543
00:20:34,231 --> 00:20:36,131
Apparently, he wants to be cremated.
544
00:20:36,233 --> 00:20:37,231
He wants?
545
00:20:37,333 --> 00:20:38,833
Who cares what he wants?
546
00:20:38,936 --> 00:20:40,802
For once, let him do what I want.
547
00:20:40,904 --> 00:20:43,237
- It's in his will.
- Oh, Jesus.
548
00:20:43,339 --> 00:20:45,574
So what am I supposed to do
with the casket?
549
00:20:45,676 --> 00:20:46,808
What casket?
550
00:20:46,910 --> 00:20:48,910
I just bought a casket at Costco.
551
00:20:49,012 --> 00:20:50,645
They sell caskets at Costco?
552
00:20:50,747 --> 00:20:53,181
- Next to the tires.
- So just return it.
553
00:20:53,283 --> 00:20:54,782
What if they won't take it back?
554
00:20:54,884 --> 00:20:56,584
What am I supposed to do with it?
555
00:20:56,686 --> 00:20:58,185
I don't know. Stick it in the garage.
556
00:20:58,287 --> 00:20:59,687
You're gonna need it eventually.
557
00:21:01,190 --> 00:21:02,756
- Hello?
- Get me Matt.
558
00:21:02,858 --> 00:21:04,847
Tell him it's about the ashes.
559
00:21:05,628 --> 00:21:06,760
Cherry poplar
560
00:21:06,862 --> 00:21:07,695
with a champagne velvet interior.
561
00:21:07,797 --> 00:21:08,929
Guess who?
562
00:21:09,025 --> 00:21:11,024
She wants to talk about the ashes.
563
00:21:11,055 --> 00:21:12,008
What?
564
00:21:12,033 --> 00:21:13,833
When am I getting them?
565
00:21:13,935 --> 00:21:15,668
That whore's not getting the ashes.
566
00:21:15,770 --> 00:21:18,071
- Those are my ashes!
- Why do you get 'em?
567
00:21:18,172 --> 00:21:20,239
I thought they were supposed
to be scattered at sea.
568
00:21:20,341 --> 00:21:21,741
At sea?
569
00:21:21,843 --> 00:21:23,009
What is he, a Kennedy?
570
00:21:23,111 --> 00:21:25,945
I'm supposed to be the scatterer!
571
00:21:26,047 --> 00:21:26,913
Bullshit!
572
00:21:27,015 --> 00:21:28,246
He's my husband.
573
00:21:28,271 --> 00:21:31,116
You keep your hands off him.
We got water here.
574
00:21:31,218 --> 00:21:33,981
- I'm scattering.
- I'm scattering.
575
00:21:34,006 --> 00:21:35,081
Bullshit!
I'm scattering! I'm scattering!
576
00:21:35,106 --> 00:21:36,981
It's Roger. There's a problem.
577
00:21:37,014 --> 00:21:38,956
- Oh, God. Hold on!
- Fuck you.
578
00:21:38,981 --> 00:21:39,992
You whore, fuck you.
579
00:21:40,094 --> 00:21:41,660
What?
580
00:21:41,762 --> 00:21:43,194
I just got off with the mortuary.
581
00:21:43,296 --> 00:21:46,296
They can't cremate him
for at least a couple of weeks.
582
00:21:46,398 --> 00:21:47,475
Weeks?
583
00:21:47,500 --> 00:21:49,066
Apparently, there's some big backlog.
584
00:21:49,091 --> 00:21:50,144
Did you play the Friends card?
585
00:21:50,169 --> 00:21:51,674
Of course I played the Friends card.
586
00:21:51,714 --> 00:21:53,214
I offered them tickets to the The Box.
587
00:21:53,214 --> 00:21:54,646
I said you would take
a picture with them.
588
00:21:54,748 --> 00:21:56,688
- Well, let's not go crazy.
- They did tell me...
589
00:21:56,726 --> 00:21:59,052
And this is totally off the record...
590
00:21:59,154 --> 00:22:01,878
There might be
a little bit of wiggle room
591
00:22:01,980 --> 00:22:05,360
if the ashes... don't have to be his.
592
00:22:05,462 --> 00:22:08,174
Well, shit, if they don't
have to be his...
593
00:22:10,201 --> 00:22:12,635
- Doorbell.
- Oh, can you let him in?
594
00:22:12,737 --> 00:22:14,771
It's the guy from the prop house.
595
00:22:18,242 --> 00:22:20,241
Hey, thanks so much for doing this.
596
00:22:20,343 --> 00:22:21,944
Hey. For you? Pfft.
597
00:22:22,046 --> 00:22:23,178
- Wow, these look great.
- They should.
598
00:22:23,280 --> 00:22:25,246
This one was used in Harold and Maude.
599
00:22:25,348 --> 00:22:27,049
It was also in the first Godfather.
600
00:22:27,150 --> 00:22:28,650
- Terms of Endearment.
- Wow.
601
00:22:28,752 --> 00:22:30,285
It's got better credits than you.
602
00:22:30,387 --> 00:22:31,920
The other one's mostly done TV.
603
00:22:32,022 --> 00:22:33,221
It started off in Quincy.
604
00:22:33,323 --> 00:22:35,057
- You remember...
- Jack Klugman. Sure.
605
00:22:35,158 --> 00:22:36,156
Well, they look great.
606
00:22:36,258 --> 00:22:37,825
And they're for what again?
607
00:22:37,927 --> 00:22:40,127
I'm helping my nephew out
with a student film thing.
608
00:22:40,229 --> 00:22:42,563
Ah-huh. You're a good uncle.
609
00:22:42,665 --> 00:22:44,264
I need them back in, like, two weeks.
610
00:22:44,366 --> 00:22:45,700
Yeah. Absolutely. No problem.
611
00:22:45,802 --> 00:22:46,734
Thanks again.
612
00:22:49,285 --> 00:22:50,361
You're never gonna return those.
613
00:22:50,386 --> 00:22:51,518
What, are they gonna arrest me?
614
00:22:51,543 --> 00:22:52,806
Come on. Steaks are getting cold.
615
00:22:55,944 --> 00:22:57,343
It's weird.
616
00:22:57,445 --> 00:22:59,913
Every time I make a steak,
I think about my father.
617
00:23:00,015 --> 00:23:02,616
Like a big, thick, juicy...
618
00:23:02,718 --> 00:23:04,985
you know, the kind of steak
even a cow would go,
619
00:23:05,087 --> 00:23:07,687
"Nope, that's fair. I totally get it."
620
00:23:07,789 --> 00:23:09,089
And why your father?
621
00:23:09,190 --> 00:23:11,665
He made me my first great steak.
622
00:23:12,093 --> 00:23:14,093
I was, like, five,
623
00:23:14,194 --> 00:23:15,928
and he came home with this big box
624
00:23:16,030 --> 00:23:18,130
of these unbelievable rib eyes.
625
00:23:18,232 --> 00:23:20,341
He got 'em from my "Uncle" Lou.
626
00:23:20,868 --> 00:23:23,886
Apparently, the box had
"fallen off the truck."
627
00:23:25,106 --> 00:23:28,006
These steaks were so fucking amazing.
628
00:23:28,108 --> 00:23:29,184
Well, there you go.
629
00:23:29,209 --> 00:23:31,075
So your father did do
something positive.
630
00:23:31,177 --> 00:23:32,944
Yeah, wait.
631
00:23:33,046 --> 00:23:34,912
After dinner, I go to give our dog Tippy
632
00:23:35,015 --> 00:23:36,313
one of the bones.
633
00:23:36,415 --> 00:23:38,582
Do not tell me you were eating Tippy.
634
00:23:38,685 --> 00:23:40,584
What? No. Jesus.
635
00:23:40,687 --> 00:23:42,053
Sorry, but the way you said it.
636
00:23:42,155 --> 00:23:44,320
- No, I went there too.
- No!
637
00:23:44,422 --> 00:23:47,724
My father traded Tippy
for the box of steaks.
638
00:23:47,826 --> 00:23:49,159
But he was alive.
639
00:23:49,261 --> 00:23:51,128
He gave away my dog.
640
00:23:51,229 --> 00:23:52,796
You were five. Who does that?
641
00:23:52,898 --> 00:23:53,930
Yeah, no, obviously it's terrible.
642
00:23:53,955 --> 00:23:54,998
- Ohh!
- Stop being relieved!
643
00:23:55,100 --> 00:23:56,031
No, I get it.
644
00:23:56,056 --> 00:23:57,768
Yeah, yeah, totally.
645
00:24:00,838 --> 00:24:02,672
Is no one else troubled by this at all?
646
00:24:02,774 --> 00:24:03,873
What?
647
00:24:03,975 --> 00:24:05,808
You're making two ladies very happy.
648
00:24:05,910 --> 00:24:08,711
And hopefully they stop fucking calling.
649
00:24:08,736 --> 00:24:11,870
And you don't worry they'll
notice a vague sirloin-y aroma?
650
00:24:12,050 --> 00:24:14,583
Hey, if they're sniffing
a dead guy's ashes,
651
00:24:14,686 --> 00:24:15,951
they got bigger problems.
652
00:24:19,056 --> 00:24:22,957
So did your father really
do nothing good? At all?
653
00:24:23,060 --> 00:24:24,859
Not one nice memory?
654
00:24:25,996 --> 00:24:27,996
He once took us to Disney World.
655
00:24:28,098 --> 00:24:29,630
- Well, okay.
- That's something.
656
00:24:29,733 --> 00:24:31,933
Except he didn't want to wait
in any of the lines,
657
00:24:32,035 --> 00:24:34,102
so he gets this used child's wheelchair.
658
00:24:34,204 --> 00:24:35,335
- Come on!
- He did not.
659
00:24:35,437 --> 00:24:36,804
Then he shaved my head.
660
00:24:36,906 --> 00:24:38,038
- No.
- Oh, stop it.
661
00:24:38,140 --> 00:24:40,074
Swear to God.
I got pictures with Mickey.
662
00:24:42,044 --> 00:24:43,643
You realize that's your show.
663
00:24:44,008 --> 00:24:45,634
What's my show?
664
00:24:46,015 --> 00:24:47,848
The father is a con man.
665
00:24:47,950 --> 00:24:49,416
Shifty. Conniving.
666
00:24:49,518 --> 00:24:50,818
But still charming.
667
00:24:50,997 --> 00:24:52,495
You thought my father was charming?
668
00:24:52,520 --> 00:24:53,820
- Mm-hmm.
- In his way.
669
00:24:53,922 --> 00:24:55,855
Twinkle in his eye. But still a bastard.
670
00:24:55,957 --> 00:24:59,391
The son is very different.
Let's say he's a cop.
671
00:24:59,493 --> 00:25:03,096
Maybe a detective who goes
after people like his father.
672
00:25:03,198 --> 00:25:04,697
Right.
673
00:25:04,799 --> 00:25:06,866
And it's all about their
incredibly complicated
674
00:25:06,968 --> 00:25:08,667
love/hate/hate/hate relationship.
675
00:25:10,096 --> 00:25:11,161
I kind of like that.
676
00:25:11,433 --> 00:25:12,804
I could see me playing a cop.
677
00:25:12,906 --> 00:25:14,339
Oh, no, no, no. No, you're the father.
678
00:25:14,441 --> 00:25:17,831
What? No fuckin' way.
I'm not playing that asshole.
679
00:25:17,856 --> 00:25:19,622
It's the better part.
680
00:25:19,913 --> 00:25:21,379
Yeah, I'm the father.
681
00:25:31,836 --> 00:25:33,101
Hey.
682
00:25:33,126 --> 00:25:35,659
So, the guy from
the mortuary called back.
683
00:25:35,762 --> 00:25:38,829
Turns out, uh, his wife's
a big fan of your show.
684
00:25:38,931 --> 00:25:40,064
- Yeah?
- Promised him a ton of tickets.
685
00:25:40,166 --> 00:25:41,431
VIP tour. The whole deal.
686
00:25:41,533 --> 00:25:43,299
You will have to take a picture.
687
00:25:43,401 --> 00:25:44,619
Fine.
688
00:25:44,644 --> 00:25:47,811
But it got your dad bumped
to the front of the line.
689
00:25:48,614 --> 00:25:50,240
They did him this afternoon.
690
00:25:52,477 --> 00:25:55,078
- This is him?
- This is him.
691
00:26:00,084 --> 00:26:01,835
- Jesus.
- Yeah.
692
00:26:03,020 --> 00:26:05,120
- He's heavy.
- I know.
693
00:26:07,591 --> 00:26:10,125
- You want a drink or something?
- I'm late for a dinner.
694
00:26:10,227 --> 00:26:11,578
- With who?
- Just a client.
695
00:26:11,680 --> 00:26:12,727
- Who?
- A client.
696
00:26:12,830 --> 00:26:15,430
- Bradley Cooper?
- Why do you do this?
697
00:26:15,609 --> 00:26:16,875
I love you, bud.
698
00:26:16,900 --> 00:26:18,032
All right?
699
00:26:46,962 --> 00:26:48,929
Fine.
700
00:28:33,295 --> 00:28:34,360
Fucker!
701
00:28:34,462 --> 00:28:35,395
Ugh!
702
00:28:41,702 --> 00:28:43,336
Ugh!
703
00:28:45,340 --> 00:28:46,272
Ugh!
704
00:29:08,863 --> 00:29:09,896
There's really nothing in
705
00:29:10,030 --> 00:29:12,366
- the television landscape...
- Hey, my vests are here!
706
00:29:12,433 --> 00:29:14,334
Parakeets have a longer attention span.
707
00:29:15,869 --> 00:29:17,970
- Thank you very much.
- I say we move forward
708
00:29:18,037 --> 00:29:20,005
- with this.
- You don't want to have a
709
00:29:20,073 --> 00:29:24,075
- baby in a Grey area.
- You also don't want to have
710
00:29:24,143 --> 00:29:26,779
- a baby when you're stressed!
- Matt wants a
711
00:29:26,847 --> 00:29:28,714
shared "created by" credit.
712
00:29:28,782 --> 00:29:30,816
They're being and I'm going to tell 'em.
713
00:29:34,928 --> 00:29:41,985
Synced & corrected by -robtor-
www.addic7ed.com
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