All language subtitles for Enlisted.S01E06.Brothers.and.Sister.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DD+5.1.x264-Cinefeel_track3_[eng]

Hey, who buys pickled eggs
these days?

Is it the theater crowd
looking for, like, a quick bite

on the way to the opera?

It's mostly alcoholics.

Can I have, like, a dozen, then?

(chuckles)

DERRICK:
Oh, God.

It's... headstand season.
Excuse me.

Hey, ladies, I'm Randy.

Do you want to see me
do a headstand?

You can put...
your beers on my feet.

DERRICK:
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Sorry, ladies. I'm sorry.

I'm his primary caregiver,
Derrick.

That's my brother,
not my... Oh, head rush.

How's it going?
DERRICK:
Hi. It's not often

we let him out of his cage,
so this is a big deal for him.
WOMEN: Hi.

Yo.

Hey there.
Oh!

Bet you're kind of fired
up for this AFO show.

"Entertainment TBD."

I saw the Foo Fighters
in Kandahar once.

Had a little connection
with Dave Grohl.

You met him?
No, but he saw me in the crowd.
He gave me one of these.

Oh.
Game recognizes game.

Rear D doesn't really draw
the big names.

Oh, sweet, dude,
TBD's playing, man.

What's their
big song again?

Oh, you know,
TBD's song. It's like...

(humming)
Then you go...

* Higher
Take it.
(humming)

* Then you take it down low

* Back down low
Yeah, yeah.

That's right, dude.
You found it

in the end.
By the way,
Yeah.

you owe me a beer for saving you
back there, okay?

What did you save him from?

Uh, well, he was doing
a headstand in a bar,

and he's not nine.

I don't know.
Looked like a team to me.

Randy breaks the ice,
you drive the ship home.

No, that's not how it goes,
okay? We're not a team.

That's a beautiful theory, Jill.
I'm gonna sit with it. Thanks.

Do Pete for me.
Ooh... It's harder
to peg Pete's vibe.

It's buried under a dense fog
of narcissism

and cologne.
Let me break it
down for you:

strong and silent with arms
that can save you from a fire

or wrap you in an embrace
that can start one.

Ew. Don't wink at me.
You're like my brother.

Not looking for a sister,
Jillybean.

Unless you're looking for a
little... brotherly love.

You really want to take that
last one back, don't you? Yeah.
So bad.

CODY:
The Army is filled with troops
on heroic missions,

and then there's us.

We take care of things at home.

We are the Rear Detachment.

Yes, we're soldiers.

So, I'm still working
on the AFO talent booking.

Do you think your troops
would like Kid 'n Play?

I don't know who
that is, so yes.

You may not be aware, but
I've been known to favor

the AFO crowd with a
song or two myself.

I enjoy it. And I
know my troops do.

Sergeant Major Cody
sings a song every year.

Every year. Like taxes.

Or Christmas.

Or a seasonal flu.

Or like a Halloween,
but you're, like,

eight years old
and your dad's drunk again...

This isn't over.

At ease.
Carry on.

Everyone, this is our AFO
director, Jeanie Rotonto.

Pete Hill?

Jeanie...
You guys know each other?

Awesome. I mean,
you seem like a nice lady.

Pete's obviously the best.

How are you?

Not great, Pete.

Not after what you did to me.

(others oohing)

You guys, let's give 'em
some space, okay?

Do not take this
away from me.

Cool your jets, Sergeant Perez.
I want to see

if Sergeant Hill can pull
his beans out of the fire.

We were dating, and then you got
deployed and never called,

wrote, e-mailed
or contacted me in any way.

You just bailed.

Ma'am, this does not
sound like Pete.

It was probably some other
good-looking soldier.

You put me through two years
of hell.

Do you know how much Adele
I had to listen to?

What could you possibly have
to say for yourself?

(beep)

I was in Afghanistan?

Ooh.
Oh, that's weak.

You can't Afghanistan
a relationship.

You'd be surprised
what you can Afghanistan.

(siren whoops)

Sorry, Officer.
It's just that...

there weren't any speed limits
in Afghanistan.

Afghanistan?

Yeah.

Out.
That's in. It hit the edge.

I was in Afghanistan.

In.
In!

So in.

I'm not proud,
but it works.

PEREZ:
Okay, help me out
here, Pete.

So, this girl seems
like a great girl,

and, at one point, she was
actually willing to tolerate

your company. Why would
you walk away from that?

She was a good kid.
(mimics retching)

She wanted to settle down.
I didn't.
Of course not.

You've got another...

30, 40 years of acting
like you're in your 20s.

Hooah.
Don't encourage.

Why wouldn't you just break up
with her?

You mean like,
"Boom, it's over"?

Yes.
I'm a... I'm a fade-out guy.

Huh?
I'm like a classic rock song.

We have some fun,
nice groove...

Wow.
maybe a tasty guitar solo,

and then
I start a nice,

slow fade-out.
You don't even know

it's over until you're halfway
into the next song.

Jeanie noticed. As I'm sure
any woman with a pulse would.

No, no, no. See, we never had
to worry about that.

Because we were all Army brats.

And since
we changed posts

practically every year, it
allowed DJ Fade-Out here

to perfect his
signature move.
Mmm...

So long, Sally.

I'll write you every day, Pete!

So long, Megan.

I'll page you every day, Pete!

Auf Wiedersehen, Inga.

And they all lived
happily ever after. I assume.

Common decency tells me that you
need to apologize to this girl.

She is no saint, either.

The second I got there,
she started with the writing

and the e-mails and the texting,

and then here come
the care packages

and... Wow,

I sound like a monster.
I'll apologize.

Bro, Jill was
right about us.

I'm researching animal facts
with my wildlife index cards...

Randy, you've had those
since you were eight, okay?

When are you gonna
get rid of 'em, pal?

Never. A lot of this knowledge

hasn't made it
to the Internet yet.

When Pete was around,
we were like bonobos.

Bonobos. Okay.
Yes.

We lived together.
We sought food together.

There's also a bunch
of weird hypersexual behavior

with bonobos
that doesn't really apply...

Where you going with this,
and how can I go the other way?

When Pete left,
our dynamic changed.

We evolved

to the hippo...

and the oxpecker.

That's not how evolution works.

I say teach the controversy.

What?
Yes.

There's no denying
how well this hippo

and this bird work together.

You know, I-I get it. The bird
eats from the hippo's teeth.

It gets free food.
The hippo gets free dental.
Teeth. Food. Free dental. Yes.

In the scientific community,
we call it symbiosis.

Sym-bi-o-sis.

I know what it is, but I don't
benefit from you, okay?

I save you from you.
I make the girls feel okay

about your ridiculous
headstand routine.

I'm the hippo. You're the bird.

It's science.

It's a free set of cards
from the zoo.
Fine.

Maybe it's time for this bird
to fly solo.

You just said
you were the hippo.

Maybe it's time...

for this hippo to fly solo.

Hi.

Hi. Okay.

We're working backwards.
Hi. I'm Jill.

What you did for me
was so sweet.

I'm glad you liked it.
What did I do?

Pete told me you're the reason
he apologized.

Someone had to teach him
some manners, right? (chuckles)

And now you can get on
with your life.

(sighs)
Yes, we can.

Wait, what? What?

We got back together.
(chuckles)

(aahing)

I guess what I'm trying to say
is thank you.

Yes, Jill. Thank you for
making this happen.

Yeah. Mmm.

Hey, Randy, hand me the wrench.

Sorry, solo hippos
don't help out solo birds.

I'm not even sure solo hippos
help out other solo hippos.

Hippos are mean.

The card says.

CODY:
Privates,

a word.

It was dead when we found it.

What?
What?

Never mind that.
Look, this is a focus group.

Regarding my singing
at the AFO shows,

how satisfied are you
with my performance?

One, extremely satisfied, two...

(others clamoring positively)
Hey! This is

a no-bull zone.

You have my permission
to speak freely.

Well, when you do
the same thing

every year, people
start to expect it.

Like birthday
husband stuff.

Predictability is
a performer's worst enemy.

Makes it so damn hard to take
an audience's breath away.

How do I... freshen my act?

My aunt has
a housecat

that she paints
like a zebra.

It's very aggressive
with people.

Sergeant Major, have you ever
watched American Idol?

Still remember
where I was

the night Miss Kelly
Clarkson won her title.

What was Kelly's story again?

Simple girl from
Burleson, Texas.

House burnt down,

not a dime to her name,
but she overcame

every obstacle
to give

the performance
of a lifetime.

That's what you
need to do.

I'll torch your house for ten
percent of the insurance money.

I need to get the audience
to invest in my narrative.

Share in my struggles.
I've struggled.

I was born in
a labor camp.

Not now, Private Park.
Uh...

be in my office
at 0900.

Bring your imaginations

and a sense of wonder.

Yes, Sergeant Major!

I have no idea
what we're doing.

Well, I hope
you're happy.

I told you to apologize,
not get back together.

It's gonna be okay.

She's about to go
to Kuwait with the AFO,

and then we...
fade out.

And then what happens when
she comes back from Kuwait?

Who knows where
I'll be then? (laughs)

Everyone but you, Pete.
Huh?

Your post-hopping
days are over.

And you can't...
fade out

if you're not
going anywhere.

Oh, I need to sit down.

You are sitting down.

I need to sit down more.

What am I supposed
to do here?

Two options:
commit to Jeanie...

Nope.

...or you're
a decent human being

and tell her
how you feel.

Hmm...

Yeah, I'm feeling like
there's a third option.

(phone chimes)

She just booked us
at a B and B in Vermont

for leaf-peeping,
fall of 2015.

Oh, God.

Walk me through this
"decent human being" thing.

Okay, troops,

I want that audience
in the palm of my hand.

Make me Kelly Clarkson.

Well, you've milked that fake
foot thing for all it's worth.

What other body parts
are you willing to lose?
You're done.

At the labor camp,

when they separated
me from my mother...

That sounds like a lot of you
and not much me.

Uh... give me something good!

It was a cold winter's day.

Your mother is supposed
to drop you off

at your voice lessons,
but she doesn't show,

because they're putting
your dog down...
Too long.

You beat cancer.
That's too short.

Can I give it another shot,
Sergeant Major?
No!

Well, just because
I came from nothing

doesn't mean I don't have
something to say.

I will burn
your house down

for only five percent
of the insurance money.
No.

Three.
No.

It may be too late
to call it off.

Sergeant Major,
who's this?

Oh, that's my daughter.

Love of my life.

(aahing)

I think we got ourselves
a narrative.

Private Gumble,
roll that tape.

Say she's adopted.

It's a better twist.

Two beers, guys?

Yes, but we're not together,

because Derrick
won't acknowledge

that he's a bird
and I'm a hippo

so it's solo hippo patrol
up in this mamma jamma! Whoa.

We were bonobos.

Now we're no-more-bros.

Think about it. It works.

Do I need
to cut him off?

Wouldn't make
a difference.

There's no stopping
this train wreck.

DERRICK:
There he goes.

They're laughing.
At him.

(Randy singing)
DERRICK:
I can't watch.

They don't seem to mind.

Give them time.
RANDY:
Yep, put it

right on there.

Give them more time.

Maybe he's not the Hill
brother who needs help.

Are you kidding?
Let's, um,

see what you got.
(clicks tongue)

(scoffs)
No.

(clucking
like a chicken)

What are you doing?

That's a chicken.
That is not a chicken.

You would know.
You know what?
I'm gonna do it.

Okay, quick thought.

You're kind of sarcastic--
women hate that.

They do?
Also, I noticed
you never smile.

Try to work one in.
Give me a big smile.

Oh, my God.
Lose the smile.

Now it's creepy.
Okay.

Split the difference.

Go. Perfect.

(exhales)

Hi.

I see you like...
wearing jeans.

I do, too.
(chuckles)

Not always.

(Randy singing)

Wow.

RANDY: * Helicopter, be like me,
I'm a helicopter *

* My name's Randy, whoo!

Oh, yeah, it's
the Idiot-Tron 4000.

It's a prototype.
He's a soft launch.

(laughs)
Friend of yours?
Well, he's...

No. We don't need that guy.

All right?
Forget that guy.

We got this.

Okay, breaking up
is actually pretty simple.

She may get desperate, and
desperate women are not afraid

to use tricks
to keep their men.

Show me what you got.

I'm her; you're you.

Go.

Okay, uh, let's see.
(clears throat)

Uh, Jeanie...
Uh-huh?

I've been thinking about us.

Mm, I' been thinking, too.

About what we're
gonna do tonight.

All the things
I've been afraid to try.

Oh, yeah?
Tricks, Pete!
I told you

there'd be tricks, right?

Try this again.

Look, you are a great person,
Oh...

but I just don't have
feelings for you.

Is that because you feel
unworthy of a great person,

or are you just
placating me?

What? Huh?
What? Huh?

She's not gonna
come back with something
so complicated, all right?

She's not an evil wizard.
You don't know that.

Really?

(sobbing):
What if no one ever loves me?

Hey, hey, I gotcha.
I'm gonna stop you right there.
Do you know what you did?

Was it the hug?
Classic mixed message.

Unless it's your grandma,
a hug is never totally platonic.

I'm doomed.
Let's try this another way.

I'm you; you're her.

(exhales)
And...

Jeanie, it's over.

(quietly):
Come on.

But I still love you.

Love is just an illusion
that distracts us

from the fact
that we all die alone.

Get your stuff out of my
apartment by noon tomorrow,

or it goes to Goodwill.
I've already blocked you

from every
social media site I'm on.

Don't make me
change my number.

Ouch.

(whispers):
Yeah. Yeah.

(Reggaeton playing)
This was my parents'
wedding song.

Really?
No.

Why would you
say that, then?

Because I'm
a sarcastic bastard
with one move.

Later, drunkie.
You're a drunkie.

Shall I, uh...
rope off a VIP area

for you and a few
select lady friends?

RANDY:
Let's get out of here.
He's leaving with them?

Give me a shot of bourbon.
I got an idea. I don't need
Randy to play off of.

I can be my own idiot brother,
and I can make fun of myself.

Ah, that sounds
like a great idea.

Hey! Ladies!

Still want to see me
do a headstand?

How drunk are you?

Drunk enough to do this.

(groans)

How'd it go?

Jeanie...
Yeah?

I am not in love with you,
and this relationship is over.

Can I still sext you?

Have some self-respect.
You're being mean.

I am being honest.
I think I'm gonna cry. (sobs)

Say it.

Your tears aren't my problem
anymore, and neither are you.

Good-bye.
God, I'm good!

Oh, I did it.
Nice!

Now, is there any wiggle room
on the sexting thing?

None. Never.
Right. Yeah, I get it.

PETE:
Man, she looks so hot.

Bet I know what bra
she's wearing, too.

PETE:
What if she's the one?

(groans)
Get it together,
all right?

Oh, Private Hill.
(clears throat)

Do you know where I can get
some hot water and lemon?

Hot water and lemon?!

Did you wake up today
with no voice, Sergeant Major?

But you were gonna
sing tonight.

How will you ever overcome
this hurdle?!

Shh.

I may not be able to.

So say your prayers
for me, okay?

I do every night.

(clears throat)
I wouldn't want the crowd

to get swept up
in my personal drama,

so you, uh...

you keep it to yourself.

Okay.
Pass it on.

Hi...

What are you doing here?

Well, as a millionaire,
it's hard to stay grounded.

Working three jobs
helps me keep it real.

I'd offer you a bourbon,
but we're not serving alcohol.

No, that's very good.

I, uh... I learned
two things last night:

One is that bourbon is
not "good idea juice,"

Oh.
and two is that
I have no game.

(chuckles)

Not everybody likes games.

What does that mean?

Well, last night,

I watched you fail miserably
doing something

most bar jerks do really well.

Kind of makes me think
maybe you're not a jerk.

(laughs) Minority
opinion around here.

Prove me wrong.

You don't know
that that's not fake.

Derrick.
You look well.

Better than when I came home
this morning.

You know you threw up
in your hamper?

I know. I saw the image
you posted online.

You could've "liked" it.

Look, Randy, um,
I was obviously wrong

about what I said, okay?

I need you
more than you need me.

You mean that, Derrick?

As long as there will be no
follow-up questions, then yes.

Copy.

I saw you get that girl's
number without me.
Yeah.

Congrats.

Dude, you got spinach
in your teeth.

Come here.
Mm-hmm.

You're grooming me.

Hippo and bird!
Hippo and bird!

This moment is over!

Thank you. Before we bring out
Kid 'n Play,

I'd like to direct
your attention to the screens.

RYAN SEACREST:
Command Sergeant Major Donald
Cody is a decorated war hero

with 25 years of Army service.

But while he did his duty,

he never turned his back
on his passion for singing.

I had no idea I could sing until
the day my daughter was born.

The moment I laid eyes on her,
I sang with joy.

Does he actually think
this is gonna work?
He's so tender.

SEACREST:
But then the sergeant major
got a diagnosis

that turned
his purple heart blue.

(thunderclap)

When the doctor told me that
I might not be able to sing,

well...

I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
could you...

turn the camera off?

When I told him
it was vocal nodes,

he said, "What can I do?"

My answer...

"Pray."

I asked my Maker for one more
chance to share my gift.

I don't know
if he heard my prayer.

(horn fanfare plays)

Do you believe in miracles?!

(all cheer)

* O beautiful

* For spacious skies

* For amber waves of grain

(sobbing)

* For purple mountain
majesties *

Look at 'em,
they're so majestic.

* America, America

That's your land
and mine...

Wow.

I gotta say
you look amazing.

(hushed):
You don't gotta
say that.

I mean, hmm, can we talk?

We can do more than that.

Jeannie, I don't want
to pick up where we left off.

I... I should've broke up
with you two years ago,

but-but I chickened out because
I didn't want to hurt you.

I was selfish and dumb,
and... I'm sorry.

Well, I-I'm stunned,

but at least
you're honest with me.

Wait-- did she put
you up to this?

No, she said to be way harsher.
Hey.

No, I did not put
him up to this.

She just made it clear that I
needed to break up with you.

No, he was gonna let
you go off to Kuwait

and give you
the fade-out.

Mm-hmm, fade-out.
Who are you?!

Are you trying to steal him
away from me?

Ew! No! I have zero
interest in him.

I have self-esteem.

Not that you don't.
Pete, talk!

She's the reason
I broke up with you.
Stop talking!

Why do you care so much
about his love life?

He...

was in Afghanistan.

CODY:
This night of miracles
is not over.

Together for the first time
since late December, 2011,

Kid 'n Play!

What's up, Captain, what's up?

* Kid 'n Play want to have
a house party, y'all *

* Kid 'n Play want
to have a house party *
Whoop-whoop!

Yeah!

All right, she told me
not to do this,

but come on in
where it's warm.

Come on.
(grunts)

ONLOOKERS:
Ooh...!

Looks like a kerfuffle's
stealing focus.

I gotta save this show.

What's up?

Hey, just follow
my lead.

Yo-yo-yo!
* O beautiful

* For spacious skies

* For amber waves of grain

* For purple mountain
majesties... *

Oh! It's pretty cool you can
use these for bloody noses.

Yeah.
And if I understand
the ads correctly,

I can swim with it, too?

Sadly, I think that's all
you've learned today.

Oh, no, no, you were right.

I should've listened
to you from the beginning.

Listen, you know how
you say you hate me

and that I disgust you
and that the thought

of being with me
makes you physically ill?

Sure.
Well, the only people

that talk to me like that
are my brothers.

So...
Hmm.

...I don't know, I guess
that makes you my, uh...

Your sister.

Well, I was gonna say
"female brother,"

but don't listen to me,
I lost a lot of blood.

Anyway, thanks
for helping me out.
(chuckles)

I told you no hugs!

I'm not your
grandma, idiot!

Oh!
Sisters are weird.

Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org