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1
00:00:01,702 --> 00:00:04,505
PLATOON (chanting):
Go, go, go, go...
(quick, deep breaths)
2
00:00:04,538 --> 00:00:06,874
(chanting continues)
3
00:00:06,907 --> 00:00:09,710
Who's laughing now, Daddy?
(growls)
4
00:00:09,743 --> 00:00:11,912
(continue chanting)
5
00:00:14,048 --> 00:00:18,018
(quick breaths)
Ooh.
6
00:00:18,052 --> 00:00:20,854
Oh, yeah, greaseballing, son!
Randy.
7
00:00:20,888 --> 00:00:22,323
Ooh, ooh.
8
00:00:22,356 --> 00:00:24,492
You slicked up Chubowski
and bowled with him?
9
00:00:24,525 --> 00:00:25,926
(whispers) Why didn't
you come get me?
10
00:00:25,959 --> 00:00:27,495
(Chubowski
groans)
And stop it.
11
00:00:27,528 --> 00:00:29,230
Permission to succumb
to my wounds, sir.
12
00:00:29,263 --> 00:00:31,099
(everyone groans)
13
00:00:31,132 --> 00:00:32,866
Hey, brother, we're just
making a safety video
14
00:00:32,900 --> 00:00:35,103
about the dangers of grease.
No chance that's true.
15
00:00:35,136 --> 00:00:37,037
No chance that's true at all.
We're making stupid videos
16
00:00:37,071 --> 00:00:38,606
for the Internet.
But before you get mad...
17
00:00:38,639 --> 00:00:41,008
Too late.
Our audience
is going to love it.
18
00:00:41,041 --> 00:00:43,077
Is your audience a guy that can
make you do push-ups all days?
19
00:00:43,111 --> 00:00:44,678
It's more like
12-year-olds.
Mm-hmm?
20
00:00:44,712 --> 00:00:46,947
Randy, this is not just
a kids' video, okay?
21
00:00:46,980 --> 00:00:48,416
This is free-form art.
22
00:00:48,449 --> 00:00:51,185
Now, Pete, please look
into the camera and say,
23
00:00:51,219 --> 00:00:53,354
"Now, that's what I call
a slippery situation."
24
00:00:53,387 --> 00:00:54,888
No. All right?
25
00:00:54,922 --> 00:00:57,391
I don't care how much fun it is.
It's over.
26
00:00:57,425 --> 00:00:58,726
(whooping, cheering)
27
00:00:58,759 --> 00:01:01,795
(loud thud)
Yeah!
28
00:01:01,829 --> 00:01:03,797
(whooping)
29
00:01:03,831 --> 00:01:06,734
All right, now it's over.
That's it.
30
00:01:06,767 --> 00:01:08,536
(groans)
31
00:01:08,569 --> 00:01:10,471
Oh.
He's fine.
He's fine.
32
00:01:10,504 --> 00:01:12,406
He's still breathing.
Medic!
33
00:01:12,440 --> 00:01:15,909
CODY:
The Army is filled with troops
on heroic missions,
34
00:01:15,943 --> 00:01:17,445
and then there's us.
35
00:01:17,478 --> 00:01:19,480
We take care of things at home.
36
00:01:19,513 --> 00:01:21,815
We are the Rear Detachment.
37
00:01:21,849 --> 00:01:24,318
Yes, we're soldiers.
38
00:01:45,506 --> 00:01:47,175
PETE:
Good morning, everyone.
39
00:01:47,208 --> 00:01:49,443
Chubowski is still injured
and covered in toxic grease,
40
00:01:49,477 --> 00:01:51,145
but the rest of us
have work to do.
41
00:01:51,179 --> 00:01:54,482
We are gonna resupply the snack
machine in the mess hall.
42
00:01:54,515 --> 00:01:55,849
That is gonna rock, huh?
43
00:01:55,883 --> 00:01:57,251
Who's with me?
44
00:01:57,285 --> 00:01:58,786
You heard Sergeant Hill.
Get up for snacks.
45
00:01:58,819 --> 00:02:01,689
Tasty snack, icy
cold lemonade...
I feel weird.
46
00:02:01,722 --> 00:02:03,991
DERRICK:
What's with the positive
attitude, Rachel Ray?
47
00:02:04,024 --> 00:02:05,993
You hate Rear D. Oh...
48
00:02:06,026 --> 00:02:07,861
You're on one of your
realizations again, aren't you?
49
00:02:07,895 --> 00:02:09,597
Pete wakes up with these
realizations, like...
50
00:02:09,630 --> 00:02:11,599
kale's a super food. And, uh,
51
00:02:11,632 --> 00:02:13,133
social media's tearing us apart.
52
00:02:13,167 --> 00:02:14,868
People used to have
conversations.
53
00:02:14,902 --> 00:02:16,604
Whatever your latest realization
is, just don't expect us
54
00:02:16,637 --> 00:02:19,006
to buy into it, okay?
I buy into it,
Pete. What is it?
55
00:02:19,039 --> 00:02:20,508
When I was deployed...
DERRICK:
Here we go.
56
00:02:20,541 --> 00:02:22,042
the only way to get
through a bad mission
57
00:02:22,075 --> 00:02:24,044
was to embrace the suck.
58
00:02:24,077 --> 00:02:26,547
Now, I realize that Rear D
is no different.
I'm glad I bought into that.
59
00:02:26,580 --> 00:02:29,383
You're damn right you are.
And kale is a super food.
It's showing up on every menu.
60
00:02:29,417 --> 00:02:31,118
You can't even get a real
Caesar salad anymore.
61
00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:32,686
You got to embrace the suck.
62
00:02:32,720 --> 00:02:34,622
You know how many fences
in Afghanistan that I built,
63
00:02:34,655 --> 00:02:35,823
then blew up and then rebuilt?
64
00:02:35,856 --> 00:02:37,225
How many?
Ten, 20, 40, 100, 200...
65
00:02:37,258 --> 00:02:38,826
Should I go by hundreds?
300, 400...
66
00:02:38,859 --> 00:02:40,894
You can't embrace
this job, all right?
1,000.
67
00:02:40,928 --> 00:02:42,730
There's no
"whistle while you work" here,
68
00:02:42,763 --> 00:02:44,965
unless you count the sound that
Dobkiss makes when he's tired.
69
00:02:44,998 --> 00:02:47,301
A donkey kicked me in my
esophagus when I was six.
70
00:02:47,335 --> 00:02:49,036
Huh.
I so embrace our job.
71
00:02:49,069 --> 00:02:51,872
We maintain the base,
we take care of its families.
72
00:02:51,905 --> 00:02:55,543
Our job is like a majestic
bald eagle you just want to hug.
73
00:02:55,576 --> 00:02:57,345
And eagle clawed my eyeballs
when I was ten.
74
00:02:57,378 --> 00:02:59,513
How are you still alive?
Part of me died a long time ago.
75
00:02:59,547 --> 00:03:01,415
At ease.
CODY:
Carry on.
76
00:03:01,449 --> 00:03:04,151
Do you like
tablet computers?
77
00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:05,253
I do.
Yeah.
Yeah, sure.
78
00:03:05,286 --> 00:03:06,254
Me, too.
79
00:03:06,287 --> 00:03:07,588
In bed or on the go.
80
00:03:07,621 --> 00:03:09,357
I get to watch dumb crap.
81
00:03:09,390 --> 00:03:10,591
(whooping, cheering)
82
00:03:10,624 --> 00:03:12,593
(loud thud) Yeah!
83
00:03:12,626 --> 00:03:14,562
(whooping)
84
00:03:14,595 --> 00:03:16,697
GUMBLE'S VOICE:
Now, that's what I call
a slippery situation. Whoa!
85
00:03:16,730 --> 00:03:19,500
Dude.
I really nailed
that framing.
86
00:03:19,533 --> 00:03:20,834
Pete, your voice sounds weird.
87
00:03:20,868 --> 00:03:22,336
There will be no more
making of videos
88
00:03:22,370 --> 00:03:23,604
on this post.
(platoon groaning)
89
00:03:23,637 --> 00:03:25,005
As for your
corrective training...
90
00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:27,074
There's a deployed
soldier's husband
91
00:03:27,107 --> 00:03:29,076
who needs a little work
around the house.
92
00:03:29,109 --> 00:03:31,111
We take care of our own here.
93
00:03:31,144 --> 00:03:32,946
I don't know if you've
heard, but I'm going to be
94
00:03:32,980 --> 00:03:34,181
an awesome Rear D
soldier now.
95
00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:35,616
Well, that's super duper.
96
00:03:35,649 --> 00:03:37,518
Feel like you're
being sarcastic.
(knocking)
97
00:03:37,551 --> 00:03:39,186
Sergeant Major?
One moment, Sergeant Perez.
98
00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:41,889
Sergeant Hill has actually
decided to try at his job.
99
00:03:41,922 --> 00:03:43,223
So we're celebrating.
(pop)
100
00:03:43,257 --> 00:03:45,058
Hooray.
101
00:03:45,092 --> 00:03:47,861
Why do you have those
in your desk?
I'm a festive man.
102
00:03:47,895 --> 00:03:49,563
I was wondering if you'd
considered my application
103
00:03:49,597 --> 00:03:50,964
for the advanced
leader course.
104
00:03:50,998 --> 00:03:53,133
I'm headed to town
for coffee in an hour.
105
00:03:53,166 --> 00:03:54,268
Join me. We'll talk.
106
00:03:54,302 --> 00:03:55,636
I would love that.
Thank you.
107
00:03:55,669 --> 00:03:57,571
Hey. I like coffee.
108
00:03:57,605 --> 00:03:59,072
If it looks like I'm
playing favorites,
109
00:03:59,106 --> 00:04:00,908
well, it's because
she is my favorite.
110
00:04:00,941 --> 00:04:03,043
It's nothing personal.
It's just that she's a person
111
00:04:03,076 --> 00:04:04,845
who I like more than I like you.
112
00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:07,748
When Sergeant Major
approves me for ALC,
113
00:04:07,781 --> 00:04:09,249
I'll be in line
for a promotion
114
00:04:09,283 --> 00:04:10,784
and I will finally
get some respect.
115
00:04:10,818 --> 00:04:12,119
Oh, you crave that, too?
116
00:04:12,152 --> 00:04:14,154
'Cause I just had a popper
go off in my face.
117
00:04:14,187 --> 00:04:15,623
(chuckles) And that
was a great moment.
118
00:04:15,656 --> 00:04:17,090
But it's
different for me.
119
00:04:17,124 --> 00:04:18,559
When people see
you, they say,
120
00:04:18,592 --> 00:04:20,060
"There goes a
brave soldier."
121
00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:21,929
People see me, they say,
"Look, a lady one."
122
00:04:21,962 --> 00:04:24,332
Oh, come on, you're way more
than just a lady one.
123
00:04:24,365 --> 00:04:25,733
Here it comes.
124
00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:27,401
Yeah, you're also
a rules freak, a suck-up.
125
00:04:27,435 --> 00:04:28,436
You smell like
pancakes sometimes.
126
00:04:28,469 --> 00:04:29,503
Now, that's not
a bad thing.
127
00:04:29,537 --> 00:04:31,071
It's just worth
commenting on.
128
00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:33,240
Yes, I am good at my job
and I smell like America.
129
00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:34,908
You know, I feel
sorry for whatever
130
00:04:34,942 --> 00:04:37,010
Army wife you're about to
release this charisma on.
131
00:04:37,044 --> 00:04:39,313
Mm. Joke's on you,
'cause it is a dude.
132
00:04:39,347 --> 00:04:41,915
Name's Rodney Spratz.
133
00:04:41,949 --> 00:04:44,952
Rodney. (laughs)
134
00:04:44,985 --> 00:04:45,953
Why are you laughing?
135
00:04:45,986 --> 00:04:48,689
What up, brosephs?
Oh, boy.
136
00:04:48,722 --> 00:04:50,458
Come on in, guys.
I'll show you around.
137
00:04:50,491 --> 00:04:52,426
Well, this over here, now,
this is my man cave. Right?
138
00:04:52,460 --> 00:04:53,827
PETE: Yeah.
Hey, look, I got
139
00:04:53,861 --> 00:04:54,862
two Scarfa posters over there.
140
00:04:54,895 --> 00:04:56,830
Now, one of 'em's real...
141
00:04:56,864 --> 00:04:58,131
one has my face.
142
00:04:58,165 --> 00:04:59,967
That is awesome.
Which is which?
143
00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:00,868
Hey, that's my boy, Tim.
144
00:05:00,901 --> 00:05:01,935
RANDY:
Hey, Timbo.
145
00:05:01,969 --> 00:05:03,203
Hi, Tim.
Say hello
146
00:05:03,236 --> 00:05:04,605
to your dad's new
friends, Timbo.
147
00:05:04,638 --> 00:05:06,474
We're out of eggs, Rodney.
Well, I-I'll
148
00:05:06,507 --> 00:05:07,641
get right on that.
149
00:05:07,675 --> 00:05:09,309
'Cause I am your dad.
150
00:05:09,343 --> 00:05:10,544
So call me Dad.
(chuckles)
151
00:05:10,578 --> 00:05:12,780
Okay.
He's great, yeah.
152
00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:13,981
So, Rodney...
Yeah?
153
00:05:14,014 --> 00:05:15,115
...what do you need?
154
00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:16,517
I just converted
my laundry room
155
00:05:16,550 --> 00:05:18,452
into a closet to
age my home brew.
156
00:05:18,486 --> 00:05:21,221
So I need a new place
to put the washer and dryer.
157
00:05:21,254 --> 00:05:24,324
So let's float
this puppy upstairs!
158
00:05:24,358 --> 00:05:26,794
If anybody needs me,
I'll be making nachos.
159
00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:29,863
So... Rodney sucks.
Come on, guys,
160
00:05:29,897 --> 00:05:31,131
we can do this.
161
00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:32,866
Oh, yeah? What are
you thinking here,
162
00:05:32,900 --> 00:05:34,668
teleportation, or just some
good old-fashioned wizardry?
163
00:05:34,702 --> 00:05:36,136
None of those
are real, Derrick.
164
00:05:36,169 --> 00:05:37,671
Look, I appreciate
that you're committed
165
00:05:37,705 --> 00:05:39,206
to this whole
"Rear D's awesome" realization,
166
00:05:39,239 --> 00:05:41,709
but I give you about ten minutes
before you turn into T-man.
167
00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:45,212
I am not gonna turn
into Temper Man.
168
00:05:45,245 --> 00:05:47,347
Why'd you bring up
T-man, Derrick?
169
00:05:47,381 --> 00:05:48,549
Nobody said T-man, Pete.
170
00:05:48,582 --> 00:05:50,050
I just said it,
but don't listen.
171
00:05:50,083 --> 00:05:51,585
Okay, I haven't turned
in to T-man in, like...
172
00:05:51,619 --> 00:05:52,986
Two weeks?
When you punched that colonel
173
00:05:53,020 --> 00:05:54,321
and got kicked out
of Afghanistan?
174
00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:55,689
On international soil.
It doesn't count.
175
00:05:55,723 --> 00:05:57,224
It's international soil.
It doesn't count.
176
00:05:57,257 --> 00:05:58,926
How about when you lost State
and threw
177
00:05:58,959 --> 00:06:00,428
that second-place trophy
through a plate-glass window?
178
00:06:00,461 --> 00:06:01,929
I was just trying to put
the trophy in the case,
179
00:06:01,962 --> 00:06:03,664
and it slipped.
It was slippery.
180
00:06:03,697 --> 00:06:04,898
What about the time you beat up
the cotton candy machine
181
00:06:04,932 --> 00:06:06,233
'cause you were too short
to ride
182
00:06:06,266 --> 00:06:07,668
the log flume
at that amusement park?
183
00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:09,770
You know I was taller
than that bear's paw!
184
00:06:09,803 --> 00:06:10,871
Oh, T-man?
185
00:06:10,904 --> 00:06:12,706
Ah...
Hey, are you in there?
186
00:06:12,740 --> 00:06:14,341
I'm not turning into T-man.
You know why?
187
00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:16,376
'Cause I got
a new attitude, pal.
188
00:06:16,410 --> 00:06:17,878
I am a Rear D man now,
189
00:06:17,911 --> 00:06:21,415
and a Rear D man
embraces his suck.
190
00:06:21,449 --> 00:06:24,685
All right, now that we've chased
these unpleasant memories
191
00:06:24,718 --> 00:06:26,687
to the darkness
where they belong,
192
00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:29,189
let's get our suck on!
193
00:06:29,222 --> 00:06:32,225
Let's embrace getting our
suck on! I feel weird. Let's go.
194
00:06:32,259 --> 00:06:34,695
So, the advanced
leader course would
195
00:06:34,728 --> 00:06:36,029
really speed along
my promotion.
196
00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:38,499
Very good.
(chuckles)
197
00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:41,101
Sergeant Major?
198
00:06:41,134 --> 00:06:44,572
You know, kids
are a son of a bitch.
199
00:06:44,605 --> 00:06:46,206
Come again now?
200
00:06:46,239 --> 00:06:47,875
I gotta tell you,
201
00:06:47,908 --> 00:06:49,977
I am having a lot of trouble
with my teenage daughter.
202
00:06:50,010 --> 00:06:51,545
She's going through
"the change."
203
00:06:51,579 --> 00:06:54,114
I don't think that means
what you think it means.
204
00:06:54,147 --> 00:06:55,549
She used to be so sweet.
205
00:06:55,583 --> 00:06:57,718
Now she's a moody
little mini-woman.
206
00:06:57,751 --> 00:06:59,953
Uh, have you tried,
uh, talking to her?
207
00:06:59,987 --> 00:07:01,154
I try,
208
00:07:01,188 --> 00:07:03,223
but she's all,
"Don't go there."
209
00:07:03,256 --> 00:07:04,391
I'm, like, "Go where?"
210
00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:05,626
I don't know where I'm going.
211
00:07:05,659 --> 00:07:08,395
I'm sorry about that,
Sergeant Major.
212
00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:11,999
So... about that
leadership course...
213
00:07:12,032 --> 00:07:15,302
Um, you want to go
someplace else? You hungry?
214
00:07:17,471 --> 00:07:20,240
PETE:
Push, push, push!
215
00:07:20,273 --> 00:07:22,576
Derrick, are you
pushing down?
216
00:07:22,610 --> 00:07:24,077
Oh, no, I'm not doing
anything at all.
217
00:07:24,111 --> 00:07:26,146
Hang on there.
218
00:07:26,179 --> 00:07:28,281
Oh, these are still wet.
219
00:07:28,315 --> 00:07:30,117
Carry on.
220
00:07:30,150 --> 00:07:33,220
There's a damn carpet
in here!
221
00:07:34,121 --> 00:07:36,456
There we go.
There we go.
222
00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:38,792
(grunts)
223
00:07:38,826 --> 00:07:40,427
(all gasp)
224
00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:42,530
Unbelievable pain.
225
00:07:45,666 --> 00:07:47,034
Oh, yeah!
226
00:07:47,067 --> 00:07:48,936
Hey, uh, has anyone
seen T-man?
227
00:07:48,969 --> 00:07:50,437
RANDY:
No, I haven't
seen him at all.
228
00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:52,973
Because he is dead
and gone.
229
00:07:53,006 --> 00:07:54,542
Oh, no!
230
00:07:54,575 --> 00:07:56,143
I'm not going to the funeral,
231
00:07:56,176 --> 00:07:57,611
but I'll send white flowers
and an oversized card.
232
00:07:57,645 --> 00:07:59,847
I mean, I will make a donation
to his favorite charity.
233
00:07:59,880 --> 00:08:01,481
Hey, we did it!
234
00:08:01,515 --> 00:08:03,383
You know what
I always tell my men:
235
00:08:03,416 --> 00:08:04,852
"Embrace the task."
236
00:08:04,885 --> 00:08:07,120
So, remember, if there's
ever anything you need,
237
00:08:07,154 --> 00:08:09,623
we're here for you.
Anything.
238
00:08:09,657 --> 00:08:11,725
Welcome to my backyard!
239
00:08:11,759 --> 00:08:13,627
(laughs)
I've always wanted
240
00:08:13,661 --> 00:08:16,063
to turn this into a sports court
for me and Timbo.
241
00:08:16,096 --> 00:08:18,799
I'm talking about batting cage
and a mini ab station.
242
00:08:18,832 --> 00:08:20,568
Hey, you know what?
I'll get my sketches.
243
00:08:20,601 --> 00:08:22,970
Oh, not gonna go that way.
There's thorns over there.
244
00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:24,905
Oh, and there's a snake
that lives down there.
245
00:08:24,938 --> 00:08:26,239
I think she just had babies.
246
00:08:26,273 --> 00:08:27,675
Real protective
right now.
247
00:08:27,708 --> 00:08:28,842
Just be careful. Okay.
248
00:08:28,876 --> 00:08:30,744
I just want to say
for the record
249
00:08:30,778 --> 00:08:32,546
that none of this
would have happened
250
00:08:32,580 --> 00:08:34,682
if not for Pete's new attitude.
So, well done.
251
00:08:34,715 --> 00:08:35,849
Yeah, well done, Pete.
252
00:08:35,883 --> 00:08:37,117
I was being sarcastic.
253
00:08:40,253 --> 00:08:42,389
Maybe we can just
get a flamethrower
254
00:08:42,422 --> 00:08:43,691
and torch Rodney's yard.
255
00:08:43,724 --> 00:08:45,158
Are we seriously getting
a flamethrower?
256
00:08:45,192 --> 00:08:46,760
Are we really building
this guy a sports court?
257
00:08:46,794 --> 00:08:48,328
Derrick, do not
get us off topic.
258
00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:49,529
So, about this
flamethrower?
259
00:08:49,563 --> 00:08:50,898
Part of embracing the suck
260
00:08:50,931 --> 00:08:52,766
is to not give up
when things get suckier.
261
00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:55,268
So if I'm to understand, this
flamethrower is still in play.
262
00:08:55,302 --> 00:08:56,269
Randy,
263
00:08:56,303 --> 00:08:57,705
there is no flamethrower.
264
00:08:57,738 --> 00:08:59,172
This has been
one big roller coaster ride.
265
00:08:59,206 --> 00:09:00,340
Okay.
Come on.
It's just us.
266
00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:01,408
Admit that you hate this.
267
00:09:01,441 --> 00:09:02,743
We're Rear D
soldiers.
268
00:09:02,776 --> 00:09:04,111
We're gonna do
what we got to do,
269
00:09:04,144 --> 00:09:05,278
and we're gonna do it
with a smile.
270
00:09:05,312 --> 00:09:06,614
You are so full of...
Wisdom?
271
00:09:06,647 --> 00:09:07,748
Confidence?
A passion for excellence?
272
00:09:07,781 --> 00:09:08,882
Crap, Randy.
273
00:09:08,916 --> 00:09:10,383
You can't keep this up.
I-I bet
274
00:09:10,417 --> 00:09:12,052
we see T-man
before the day is done.
275
00:09:12,085 --> 00:09:14,087
(chuckles)
I will take that bet,
and I will take it
276
00:09:14,121 --> 00:09:16,223
with a smile.
I will watch you
lose that bet
277
00:09:16,256 --> 00:09:17,591
with a smile.
Pete's gonna win,
278
00:09:17,625 --> 00:09:18,892
we're all gonna smile,
279
00:09:18,926 --> 00:09:20,260
Rodney's gonna get
a sports court--
280
00:09:20,293 --> 00:09:22,129
it's gonna be a really
great day all around.
281
00:09:22,162 --> 00:09:24,598
Ready? Break!
(mimics explosion)
282
00:09:24,632 --> 00:09:26,967
You just got exploded.
283
00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:29,803
(quietly):
Boom.
284
00:09:29,837 --> 00:09:32,906
Teenage girls act crazy because
of their hormones, right?
285
00:09:32,940 --> 00:09:34,307
That's probably fair to say.
286
00:09:34,341 --> 00:09:37,110
Can I stop them?
Can you stop... hormones?
287
00:09:37,144 --> 00:09:39,079
Does spicy food have any effect?
288
00:09:39,112 --> 00:09:40,413
What about the moon?
289
00:09:40,447 --> 00:09:41,581
Friend or foe?
290
00:09:41,615 --> 00:09:43,083
(groans)
Sergeant Major,
291
00:09:43,116 --> 00:09:44,785
did you get into the Internet?
292
00:09:44,818 --> 00:09:46,119
Ever since my wife and I split,
293
00:09:46,153 --> 00:09:48,455
I don't have a woman
to turn to for help.
294
00:09:48,488 --> 00:09:49,890
Sergeant Major,
while I'm happy...
295
00:09:49,923 --> 00:09:51,124
What I'm really worried about
296
00:09:51,158 --> 00:09:52,660
is this guy
my daughter's dating.
297
00:09:53,694 --> 00:09:54,895
Just look at him!
298
00:09:54,928 --> 00:09:56,329
Look at who?
299
00:09:56,363 --> 00:09:58,265
Have we been spying
300
00:09:58,298 --> 00:09:59,432
on your daughter's date?
301
00:09:59,466 --> 00:10:00,768
I've been spying.
302
00:10:00,801 --> 00:10:02,636
You've been picking
at some jambalaya.
303
00:10:02,670 --> 00:10:04,471
Let's go.
They're on the move.
304
00:10:04,504 --> 00:10:07,474
What do you want me to do?
Blend in. Duh.
305
00:10:09,142 --> 00:10:12,312
The trees, bushes, plants--
they all got to be cleared out.
306
00:10:12,345 --> 00:10:15,683
Oh, FYI, the fire ants have
kind of taken over back here.
307
00:10:15,716 --> 00:10:17,751
No Biggie Smalls.
Just wear gloves.
308
00:10:17,785 --> 00:10:20,120
Oh, but check the gloves
because fire ants love
309
00:10:20,153 --> 00:10:21,121
hanging out in gloves.
310
00:10:21,154 --> 00:10:23,090
There's the silver lining.
311
00:10:23,123 --> 00:10:25,092
It's pretty cool your dad's
new buds are helping out, right?
312
00:10:25,125 --> 00:10:26,860
They're not your buds.
313
00:10:26,894 --> 00:10:28,595
(chuckling):
Oh, snap.
314
00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:31,031
Classic burn about us not being
your dad's buds, Tim!
315
00:10:31,064 --> 00:10:32,666
(chuckles)
Which we are!
316
00:10:32,700 --> 00:10:34,434
I wanted to make it
less awkward.
317
00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:36,469
Did you say less
or three times more?
Less.
318
00:10:36,503 --> 00:10:38,305
See, that's why
I need the sports court.
319
00:10:38,338 --> 00:10:39,973
I got to get Timbo out
of his room
320
00:10:40,007 --> 00:10:41,308
and doing some real guy stuff,
321
00:10:41,341 --> 00:10:42,676
you know?
Trying to raise
322
00:10:42,710 --> 00:10:44,277
that kid alone
while his mom is deployed
323
00:10:44,311 --> 00:10:45,946
has not been easy.
324
00:10:45,979 --> 00:10:48,281
We get it. Our mom raised us
while our dad was deployed.
325
00:10:48,315 --> 00:10:50,283
Well, she had some help.
I stepped in a lot
326
00:10:50,317 --> 00:10:51,451
to raise these knuckleheads.
327
00:10:51,484 --> 00:10:53,020
Knuckleheads.
And here we are,
328
00:10:53,053 --> 00:10:54,722
cutting down trees,
a job they make prisoners do.
329
00:10:54,755 --> 00:10:56,289
So you did a spectacular job.
330
00:10:56,323 --> 00:10:58,525
Well, Rodney,
this is one Rear D soldier
331
00:10:58,558 --> 00:11:00,560
who's ready to embrace
this task.
332
00:11:00,593 --> 00:11:02,162
Who's with me?
Hooah!
333
00:11:02,195 --> 00:11:03,797
I got one!
Dude, with me on three.
334
00:11:03,831 --> 00:11:05,032
Okay.
One, two, three.
335
00:11:05,065 --> 00:11:06,466
Hooah!
Hooah!
How do you say it?
336
00:11:06,499 --> 00:11:08,035
Hooah!
Yeah, it's guttural,
you know?
337
00:11:08,068 --> 00:11:09,336
Hooah!
Let's get started.
We're gonna get this.
338
00:11:09,369 --> 00:11:10,904
Feels good. It gets you
pumped up for anything.
339
00:11:10,938 --> 00:11:13,240
*
340
00:11:14,842 --> 00:11:16,076
(clangs)
341
00:11:16,109 --> 00:11:17,577
Found a bathtub!
342
00:11:17,610 --> 00:11:19,546
Hey, you guys can make
a planter out of that.
343
00:11:19,579 --> 00:11:22,082
Just trying to focus
on the sports court, buddy.
344
00:11:22,115 --> 00:11:23,183
DERRICK:
Hey, Peter.
345
00:11:23,216 --> 00:11:24,351
You look a little
frustrated.
346
00:11:24,384 --> 00:11:25,585
Why don't you take a break,
347
00:11:25,618 --> 00:11:26,987
have a little tea... man?
348
00:11:27,020 --> 00:11:28,856
(laughs)
Look, I'm actually
349
00:11:28,889 --> 00:11:30,891
having a great time, because
I know that you're miserable.
350
00:11:30,924 --> 00:11:32,993
Which is fine, because we're all
miserable, too. Right, guys?
351
00:11:33,026 --> 00:11:34,694
I have ten fire ant bites!
352
00:11:34,728 --> 00:11:36,529
I don't do well in the sun.
353
00:11:36,563 --> 00:11:38,431
I am badly burned.
354
00:11:38,465 --> 00:11:40,934
It's like my boob sweat
is cousins with my back sweat
355
00:11:40,968 --> 00:11:42,936
and they're having a
Thanksgiving dinner downstairs.
356
00:11:42,970 --> 00:11:44,537
Yeah, that's...
that's disgusting.
357
00:11:44,571 --> 00:11:45,939
We're all right here with you.
358
00:11:45,973 --> 00:11:47,074
So come on, man.
359
00:11:47,107 --> 00:11:48,541
Let T-man out of his cage.
360
00:11:48,575 --> 00:11:50,077
It's gonna feel so good!
361
00:11:50,110 --> 00:11:51,912
T-man. T-man...
362
00:11:51,945 --> 00:11:53,914
ALL (chanting):
T-man, T-man,
363
00:11:53,947 --> 00:11:55,883
T-man, T-man...
364
00:11:55,916 --> 00:11:57,517
Come on, boo-boo, let T-man out.
365
00:11:57,550 --> 00:11:58,685
Let him out!
366
00:11:58,718 --> 00:11:59,787
It's not gonna work, guys.
367
00:11:59,820 --> 00:12:00,954
All right?
368
00:12:00,988 --> 00:12:02,222
T-man doesn't live here anymore.
369
00:12:02,255 --> 00:12:04,391
Tell 'em, Randy.
370
00:12:04,424 --> 00:12:06,126
Aw.
371
00:12:06,159 --> 00:12:07,627
Where's my hype man?
372
00:12:10,430 --> 00:12:11,564
Psst, little boy.
373
00:12:11,598 --> 00:12:12,900
I'm right
behind you.
Ah!
374
00:12:12,933 --> 00:12:14,201
It's okay.
375
00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:15,769
I have been watching
you for a long time.
376
00:12:15,803 --> 00:12:17,104
Let me start
that over.
377
00:12:17,137 --> 00:12:18,238
What are you
watching?
378
00:12:18,271 --> 00:12:19,572
Funny videos?
379
00:12:19,606 --> 00:12:21,608
Oh, those
are funny.
380
00:12:21,641 --> 00:12:23,610
Type in "Awesome
Soldier Lipsynch."
381
00:12:23,643 --> 00:12:24,945
(typing)
382
00:12:24,978 --> 00:12:27,447
* Ay, me gusta
383
00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:29,216
* Dat booty...
384
00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:31,051
Yeah, that's me.
What's up?
385
00:12:31,084 --> 00:12:32,585
(both laughing)
386
00:12:32,619 --> 00:12:34,822
Hey, since
I'm right here,
387
00:12:34,855 --> 00:12:36,156
did you ever think
about maybe
388
00:12:36,189 --> 00:12:37,257
cutting your dad
some slack?
389
00:12:37,290 --> 00:12:38,758
Why?
My dad's lame.
390
00:12:38,792 --> 00:12:39,927
That's a great point.
391
00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:40,994
But look,
392
00:12:41,028 --> 00:12:42,295
when my dad
was deployed,
393
00:12:42,329 --> 00:12:44,131
my mom had a real
tough time,
394
00:12:44,164 --> 00:12:45,598
so I understand...
395
00:12:45,632 --> 00:12:47,267
All right,
that's cool.
396
00:12:47,300 --> 00:12:49,736
It's probably
breezy. Um...
397
00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:51,939
I'll come around
if you want to talk.
398
00:12:53,140 --> 00:12:54,942
Now I get what
you're doing.
399
00:12:58,145 --> 00:12:59,947
She randomly
started screaming at us.
400
00:12:59,980 --> 00:13:01,314
I can't believe
I'm doing this.
401
00:13:01,348 --> 00:13:02,782
That boy has
a chain wallet.
402
00:13:02,816 --> 00:13:05,352
It's probably full of
condoms and reefer.
403
00:13:05,385 --> 00:13:07,620
(giggling):
I thought that was really funny.
404
00:13:08,788 --> 00:13:10,757
She said she wants
a tattoo of a daisy.
405
00:13:10,790 --> 00:13:13,160
Is that code
for anything?
406
00:13:13,193 --> 00:13:15,028
Mine isn't.
407
00:13:15,062 --> 00:13:17,330
(gunfire, machinery whirring)
408
00:13:17,364 --> 00:13:19,666
Who takes a girl to see
a giant robot movie?
409
00:13:19,699 --> 00:13:21,268
Can we please talk
about my career?
410
00:13:21,301 --> 00:13:24,104
First, let's talk
about pads.
411
00:13:24,137 --> 00:13:25,338
Let's never
talk about pads!
412
00:13:25,372 --> 00:13:27,507
What are you...
413
00:13:27,540 --> 00:13:29,809
(whispering):
Hey, guys. Hi.
414
00:13:32,579 --> 00:13:35,582
(whispers): Were you serious
about not talking about pads?
415
00:13:38,151 --> 00:13:40,253
(wheezing)
416
00:13:45,558 --> 00:13:47,394
He literally dug his own grave.
417
00:13:47,427 --> 00:13:48,661
(grunting)
418
00:13:50,998 --> 00:13:52,565
(sighs)
419
00:13:52,599 --> 00:13:54,667
(speaking Korean)
420
00:13:54,701 --> 00:13:56,536
Finished, huh?
421
00:13:56,569 --> 00:13:59,672
I dedicate this court to
T-man, God rest his soul.
422
00:13:59,706 --> 00:14:01,341
Dobkiss,
423
00:14:01,374 --> 00:14:02,775
you still in that hole?
424
00:14:04,544 --> 00:14:05,979
Thanks, bros!
425
00:14:06,013 --> 00:14:08,215
Looks great! I don't see
my ab station anywhere,
426
00:14:08,248 --> 00:14:11,218
but, eh, you know what,
I like my curves.
427
00:14:11,251 --> 00:14:13,486
If you're happy,
we're happy, Rodney.
(chuckling): Yeah.
428
00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:14,922
Hey, it's a good
thing you only
429
00:14:14,955 --> 00:14:16,423
had to do some
yard stuff, right?
430
00:14:16,456 --> 00:14:18,025
It's not like
you had to do
431
00:14:18,058 --> 00:14:20,027
any real soldier work,
am I right? (chuckles)
432
00:14:20,060 --> 00:14:22,529
(whispers):
Welcome to the rodeo.
433
00:14:22,562 --> 00:14:24,664
So, um...
434
00:14:24,697 --> 00:14:26,199
we're not real soldiers?
435
00:14:26,233 --> 00:14:27,534
It's not like you're deployed.
436
00:14:27,567 --> 00:14:28,835
(whistles)
437
00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:30,870
(chuckling)
438
00:14:33,273 --> 00:14:37,077
I mean, it's hard to tell
what's real sometimes, right?
439
00:14:37,110 --> 00:14:39,246
I mean, what is real?
(chuckles)
440
00:14:39,279 --> 00:14:42,015
Am I real?
(sputters) Who knows?
441
00:14:42,049 --> 00:14:43,550
(chuckles)
Is she real?
442
00:14:43,583 --> 00:14:45,618
I'm really real.
What about this bench?
443
00:14:45,652 --> 00:14:47,420
Is this bench real?
Let's find out.
444
00:14:47,454 --> 00:14:49,056
(grunts)
Oh!
445
00:14:49,089 --> 00:14:51,358
(grunts, shouts)
Oh!
446
00:14:51,391 --> 00:14:52,559
Sergeant Hill,
what are you doing?!
447
00:14:52,592 --> 00:14:53,526
DERRICK:
Whoa, whoa,
whoa, let's...
448
00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:54,527
let the fire burn.
449
00:14:54,561 --> 00:14:55,795
ROBINSON:
Oh, it's burning.
450
00:14:55,828 --> 00:14:58,231
(grunting)
Oh, there it goes.
451
00:14:58,265 --> 00:15:00,800
T-man's kind of
uncoordinated.
452
00:15:00,833 --> 00:15:02,269
PARK:
Sergeant Hill?
453
00:15:02,302 --> 00:15:03,803
Yeah, get it over that fence,
Pete! Good stuff!
454
00:15:03,836 --> 00:15:06,406
(whirring)
455
00:15:06,439 --> 00:15:07,640
(shouting)
456
00:15:07,674 --> 00:15:09,076
Hey! Hey!
457
00:15:09,109 --> 00:15:11,278
(shouting continues)
458
00:15:11,311 --> 00:15:14,147
I'm out of the hospital
and ready to work!
459
00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:18,218
(groaning)
That doesn't
seem fair.
460
00:15:18,251 --> 00:15:19,586
You know what is real, Rodney?
461
00:15:21,488 --> 00:15:23,190
You're a giant pain in the ass.
462
00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:29,729
The only thing worse
than being yelled at by Cody
463
00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:31,798
is the anticipation
of it.
464
00:15:31,831 --> 00:15:33,800
It's like... opposite Christmas.
465
00:15:33,833 --> 00:15:35,002
Are you kidding?
466
00:15:35,035 --> 00:15:36,569
T-man chucked a batting cage.
467
00:15:36,603 --> 00:15:37,937
This is like super Christmas.
468
00:15:37,971 --> 00:15:39,606
You just love chaos.
469
00:15:39,639 --> 00:15:42,309
I do. You can call me the Joker.
Then that makes me Batman.
470
00:15:42,342 --> 00:15:43,776
If you're Batman,
you're-you're crappy Batman.
471
00:15:43,810 --> 00:15:45,245
You're George Clooney Batman,
all right?
472
00:15:45,278 --> 00:15:46,846
You sank the franchise.
473
00:15:46,879 --> 00:15:48,781
(à la Christian Bale):
But then I rose again.
(sighs)
474
00:15:48,815 --> 00:15:50,083
Isn't that right, Robin?
475
00:15:50,117 --> 00:15:52,085
I'm just eating my eggs
over here.
476
00:15:52,119 --> 00:15:54,287
MAN:
At ease!
Carry on.
477
00:15:54,321 --> 00:15:56,356
Sergeant Hill.
Here we go.
478
00:15:56,389 --> 00:15:58,591
Here we go.
Rodney called.
479
00:15:58,625 --> 00:16:00,193
(laughing):
Rodney.
Yeah.
480
00:16:00,227 --> 00:16:01,694
To thank me for your work.
481
00:16:01,728 --> 00:16:03,496
Seems like your new attitude
is the real deal.
482
00:16:03,530 --> 00:16:07,200
You've earned yourself
one of these.
483
00:16:07,234 --> 00:16:09,002
What is that?
That's a real smile.
484
00:16:09,036 --> 00:16:11,171
Ah.
It's the same as the fake smile.
485
00:16:12,005 --> 00:16:14,041
Yes!
486
00:16:14,074 --> 00:16:15,775
Looks like Rodney's too afraid
to rat us out.
487
00:16:15,808 --> 00:16:17,477
What do you say about that,
Robin? Up top.
488
00:16:17,510 --> 00:16:19,979
Robin only works for a hero.
489
00:16:20,013 --> 00:16:21,314
You're no hero.
490
00:16:21,348 --> 00:16:23,350
You're a dick.
491
00:16:24,651 --> 00:16:28,121
* Deck the halls with boughs
of holly *
492
00:16:28,155 --> 00:16:29,356
Shut up.
Other soldiers.
493
00:16:29,389 --> 00:16:34,027
* Fa la la la la la la la la!
494
00:16:36,396 --> 00:16:37,730
Oh, Sergeant Perez.
495
00:16:37,764 --> 00:16:39,666
Look, I just got a text
from my daughter,
496
00:16:39,699 --> 00:16:41,734
but I don't think
it was meant for me.
497
00:16:41,768 --> 00:16:44,537
Uh, "Wut up
Dinkie-do? Lulz."
498
00:16:44,571 --> 00:16:46,973
Smiley face, smiley face,
picture of a rainbow.
499
00:16:47,006 --> 00:16:48,641
Does that mean
she's on drugs?
500
00:16:48,675 --> 00:16:50,543
Sergeant Major,
I spent most of yesterday
501
00:16:50,577 --> 00:16:52,745
spying on your daughter,
and you didn't talk
502
00:16:52,779 --> 00:16:54,547
about the leadership course
once.
503
00:16:54,581 --> 00:16:57,150
I just thought that... as
a woman, you could help me out.
504
00:16:57,184 --> 00:17:00,320
It's bad enough when a civilian
sees me as just that.
505
00:17:00,353 --> 00:17:03,523
It's a lot worse from you.
506
00:17:04,424 --> 00:17:06,059
Ooh, a lady one.
507
00:17:06,093 --> 00:17:07,960
I will end you!
508
00:17:09,562 --> 00:17:10,997
All right.
509
00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:12,565
What's going on?
510
00:17:12,599 --> 00:17:14,101
I think I made it clear,
Sergeant.
511
00:17:14,134 --> 00:17:15,535
You're a slang word
for genitals.
512
00:17:15,568 --> 00:17:17,104
Ooh.
That slang word
513
00:17:17,137 --> 00:17:19,339
is a crazy disrespectful thing
to call a superior,
514
00:17:19,372 --> 00:17:22,175
Randy, but... gonna ignore it
'cause I'm your brother,
515
00:17:22,209 --> 00:17:23,543
and I want to know
what's going on.
516
00:17:23,576 --> 00:17:25,412
Look, sure,
Rodney abused the system.
517
00:17:25,445 --> 00:17:26,779
And, yes, he's annoying.
518
00:17:26,813 --> 00:17:28,081
But remember
how hard
519
00:17:28,115 --> 00:17:29,949
it was for Mom
while Dad was deployed?
520
00:17:29,982 --> 00:17:31,684
Yeah. It was hard.
521
00:17:31,718 --> 00:17:33,386
It's got to be hard
for Rodney, too,
522
00:17:33,420 --> 00:17:35,522
maybe harder because
we like our mom.
523
00:17:35,555 --> 00:17:38,258
Rodney's kid thinks he's a dork,
and you had to go off on him
524
00:17:38,291 --> 00:17:40,460
and justify everything
that kid thought.
525
00:17:42,295 --> 00:17:43,763
Man,
526
00:17:43,796 --> 00:17:46,599
I am a slang word for genitals.
527
00:17:46,633 --> 00:17:49,136
Yeah, you are.
I don't feel good
about today anymore.
528
00:17:49,169 --> 00:17:50,570
You want to apologize?
No, no, of course not.
529
00:17:50,603 --> 00:17:51,638
Right.
530
00:17:51,671 --> 00:17:53,540
You need to go apologize, Pete.
531
00:17:53,573 --> 00:17:55,375
Embrace your own suck.
532
00:17:55,408 --> 00:17:56,576
(Derrick whistles)
533
00:17:56,609 --> 00:17:57,977
Pretty profound stuff from a guy
534
00:17:58,010 --> 00:17:59,546
whose favorite food
used to be pennies.
535
00:17:59,579 --> 00:18:00,780
He did love pennies.
Yep.
536
00:18:00,813 --> 00:18:02,415
DERRICK:
But he's right.
I mean...
537
00:18:02,449 --> 00:18:04,083
look, you always try to set
a good example for us--
538
00:18:04,117 --> 00:18:05,118
not that I'd ever follow it--
539
00:18:05,152 --> 00:18:06,819
but, at the
very least,
540
00:18:06,853 --> 00:18:09,055
it's what Mom would want you
to do.
541
00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:11,491
She's a great mom, huh?
542
00:18:11,524 --> 00:18:12,792
Amazing.
Yeah.
543
00:18:12,825 --> 00:18:14,494
She's the best mom in the world.
544
00:18:14,527 --> 00:18:16,429
I'm not gonna cry.
545
00:18:17,797 --> 00:18:19,432
I am. I love you, Mom.
546
00:18:19,466 --> 00:18:20,400
I love her, too.
547
00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:21,434
I love her the most.
548
00:18:21,468 --> 00:18:22,735
Don't make it a competition.
549
00:18:22,769 --> 00:18:25,505
(crying):
I love you, Mom, so much.
550
00:18:25,538 --> 00:18:27,640
GUMBLE:
Keep crying, ladies.
This is great.
551
00:18:27,674 --> 00:18:30,343
Our tears are private, Private!
552
00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:35,014
Sergeant Major, before
you say anything,
553
00:18:35,047 --> 00:18:36,949
I know I was out of line.
You weren't.
554
00:18:36,983 --> 00:18:38,818
I got you something.
555
00:18:38,851 --> 00:18:40,119
It's a thermos.
556
00:18:40,153 --> 00:18:41,921
Keeps cold things cold
and hot things hot.
557
00:18:41,954 --> 00:18:44,791
The salesman assured me
that it was gender-neutral.
558
00:18:44,824 --> 00:18:45,792
Ah.
559
00:18:45,825 --> 00:18:47,427
Please.
Mmm.
560
00:18:47,460 --> 00:18:50,197
Look, I've got a bad habit
of putting what I want first.
561
00:18:50,230 --> 00:18:52,765
At least,
that's what my ex-wife says.
562
00:18:52,799 --> 00:18:55,134
(chuckles)
It's just...
563
00:18:55,168 --> 00:18:58,037
I don't feel like a good dad.
564
00:19:01,541 --> 00:19:03,310
All you can
do is care.
565
00:19:03,343 --> 00:19:06,646
My parents weren't there
for me, like... like, ever.
566
00:19:06,679 --> 00:19:07,814
My dad was in jail,
567
00:19:07,847 --> 00:19:09,216
my mom wasn't home,
568
00:19:09,249 --> 00:19:11,050
my Uncle Rico was beaten
to death
569
00:19:11,083 --> 00:19:12,452
with a sock full of oranges.
570
00:19:12,485 --> 00:19:13,453
Or was it doorknobs?
571
00:19:13,486 --> 00:19:14,654
No, it was oranges.
572
00:19:14,687 --> 00:19:15,855
His corpse was sticky.
573
00:19:15,888 --> 00:19:17,056
Stop telling me things.
574
00:19:17,089 --> 00:19:18,725
Sorry. I'm just saying
575
00:19:18,758 --> 00:19:20,527
I had no one.
576
00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:22,529
Your daughter has someone great.
577
00:19:22,562 --> 00:19:25,465
Thanks.
578
00:19:25,498 --> 00:19:27,700
Look,
579
00:19:27,734 --> 00:19:31,304
you may not have had anyone
who cared back then,
580
00:19:31,338 --> 00:19:33,740
but you've got someone
who cares now.
581
00:19:37,043 --> 00:19:38,345
Thanks for talking.
582
00:19:38,378 --> 00:19:39,912
We can still talk, but...
583
00:19:39,946 --> 00:19:42,549
maybe after we discuss
the leadership course.
584
00:19:42,582 --> 00:19:44,817
Oh, I've already approved that.
585
00:19:44,851 --> 00:19:46,853
You deserve it.
Thank you, Sergeant Major.
586
00:19:46,886 --> 00:19:48,588
So...
587
00:19:48,621 --> 00:19:51,258
oranges? Really?
588
00:19:51,291 --> 00:19:53,860
Yeah, so the key is you put 'em
in the freezer the night before,
589
00:19:53,893 --> 00:19:55,895
so they get really nice and
solid and then you can just...
590
00:19:55,928 --> 00:19:57,530
Go back
to not telling me things.
591
00:19:57,564 --> 00:19:59,999
I'm really sorry,
Rodney.
592
00:20:00,032 --> 00:20:01,834
I was totally
out of line.
593
00:20:01,868 --> 00:20:03,536
Well, thank you.
594
00:20:03,570 --> 00:20:05,605
Cheers.
595
00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:10,710
Oh, this beer's gelatinous.
596
00:20:11,578 --> 00:20:12,712
Am I tasting pork?
597
00:20:12,745 --> 00:20:13,780
This is Rodney's
598
00:20:13,813 --> 00:20:15,248
Summer Pig
Roast Ale.
599
00:20:15,282 --> 00:20:17,750
And it sucks.
Yeah.
600
00:20:17,784 --> 00:20:19,619
I'm lame and I can't even
make good beer.
601
00:20:19,652 --> 00:20:21,120
Hey, don't beat yourself up.
602
00:20:21,153 --> 00:20:23,189
My son doesn't
even respect me.
That's not true.
603
00:20:23,222 --> 00:20:24,924
He sits in his room all
day long. That's why
604
00:20:24,957 --> 00:20:26,726
I thought that sports court
was a good idea.
605
00:20:26,759 --> 00:20:28,961
Yeah, I'm not so sure he'd be
into a sports court anyway.
606
00:20:28,995 --> 00:20:31,030
Listen, I was
talking
607
00:20:31,063 --> 00:20:34,401
to Randy, and...
I may have an idea.
608
00:20:34,434 --> 00:20:36,102
(dramatic music playing)
609
00:20:42,275 --> 00:20:44,110
*
610
00:20:47,614 --> 00:20:50,917
(whooshing)
611
00:20:53,453 --> 00:20:54,387
Wow!
612
00:20:54,421 --> 00:20:57,156
*
613
00:21:00,126 --> 00:21:01,093
Hi-ya!
614
00:21:01,127 --> 00:21:03,129
(crackling)
615
00:21:10,136 --> 00:21:11,304
I really believe
that's happening!
616
00:21:11,338 --> 00:21:13,440
*
617
00:21:15,442 --> 00:21:17,877
(whip crack sound effect)
618
00:21:19,312 --> 00:21:20,613
(chuckles)
619
00:21:20,647 --> 00:21:22,982
Thank you, guys.
620
00:21:23,015 --> 00:21:24,484
Aw, it's no problem, Rodney.
621
00:21:24,517 --> 00:21:26,519
Rear D takes care
of its own.
622
00:21:26,553 --> 00:21:28,020
Really?
623
00:21:28,054 --> 00:21:30,423
I had to walk back
from the hospital twice. Twice!
624
00:21:30,457 --> 00:21:32,625
Eh, let's watch it again.
(others agreeing)
625
00:21:32,659 --> 00:21:34,794
(laughter)
626
00:21:34,827 --> 00:21:37,464
Captioned by
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