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1
00:00:15,332 --> 00:00:19,184
The age of dinosaurs was over.
2
00:00:19,854 --> 00:00:21,795
- Aw!
- Fiddlesticks!
3
00:00:21,947 --> 00:00:24,639
20,000 years ago,
Ice Age humans lived
4
00:00:24,750 --> 00:00:27,084
under constant threat
from deadly predators.
5
00:00:28,604 --> 00:00:29,936
Freezing temperatures.
6
00:00:31,590 --> 00:00:32,814
And smells.
7
00:00:35,703 --> 00:00:37,778
Primordial!
8
00:00:37,930 --> 00:00:41,448
For our ancestors, survival
required constant vigilance.
9
00:00:41,542 --> 00:00:44,526
Even the slightest distraction
could prove deadly.
10
00:00:44,545 --> 00:00:47,437
What do you mean I have
to take the toys off our lawn?
11
00:00:47,531 --> 00:00:50,365
I didn't even know we had
a homeowner's association.
12
00:00:50,384 --> 00:00:54,035
In our modern world,
true danger is rare.
13
00:00:54,055 --> 00:00:58,282
Yet, our Ice Age instincts
remain... ever on high alert.
14
00:00:58,284 --> 00:01:00,041
Fine. I'll pick up the toys
15
00:01:00,061 --> 00:01:02,377
when you take
your Christmas decorations down,
16
00:01:02,471 --> 00:01:04,137
i.e. never!
17
00:01:04,214 --> 00:01:06,290
Marge, the children are trying
18
00:01:06,308 --> 00:01:08,125
to learn facts
about the Ice Age.
19
00:01:08,127 --> 00:01:09,551
Sorry. Sorry.
20
00:01:09,570 --> 00:01:13,297
As if the distant past
has anything to do with us.
21
00:01:53,021 --> 00:01:55,614
There is literally nothing
to eat here.
22
00:01:55,765 --> 00:01:58,175
You know, there are
some children in this world
23
00:01:58,193 --> 00:02:00,527
- who don't have enough...
- Bored!
24
00:02:00,679 --> 00:02:03,104
Bart, incredible news!
25
00:02:03,124 --> 00:02:05,624
You know how my dad got a job
at the sports arena?
26
00:02:05,775 --> 00:02:07,609
They were changing the floor,
27
00:02:07,628 --> 00:02:09,444
and he got trapped
between the hockey ice
28
00:02:09,538 --> 00:02:12,372
and the basketball court
for two days.
29
00:02:13,300 --> 00:02:15,634
Okay, that's
a double dribble. I felt it!
30
00:02:15,861 --> 00:02:18,470
When he agreed not to sue,
they gave him four tickets
31
00:02:18,622 --> 00:02:20,881
to see Violencia Gigante
32
00:02:21,033 --> 00:02:23,642
- in concert!
- My God!
33
00:02:23,793 --> 00:02:25,960
Do you think they'll do one
of their songs about drugs?
34
00:02:26,054 --> 00:02:27,663
Hey, as long as they do the one
35
00:02:27,665 --> 00:02:30,131
about drowning guys
in prison toilets.
36
00:02:30,151 --> 00:02:32,359
"Baño Muerte"!
37
00:02:35,322 --> 00:02:37,047
So can I go to the concert?
38
00:02:37,065 --> 00:02:39,049
I don't know.
You're awfully young.
39
00:02:39,142 --> 00:02:40,808
What if you get jostled?
40
00:02:40,886 --> 00:02:42,736
Yes, I'm young,
but I'm responsible.
41
00:02:42,888 --> 00:02:44,997
Really?
42
00:02:47,893 --> 00:02:50,818
Bart, save yourself.
43
00:02:50,838 --> 00:02:52,838
Okay.
44
00:02:53,065 --> 00:02:54,506
You got to let me go
to the show!
45
00:02:54,658 --> 00:02:57,250
They rap in Spanish.
It's educational!
46
00:02:57,344 --> 00:03:00,328
Say, Mom, to inform
your parenting choices,
47
00:03:00,422 --> 00:03:03,407
why don't you listen
to one of their songs?
48
00:03:03,500 --> 00:03:05,425
Great idea, sis.
49
00:03:18,941 --> 00:03:21,091
Well, it can't be
that offensive.
50
00:03:21,109 --> 00:03:22,926
He barely says anything.
51
00:03:22,945 --> 00:03:25,704
Ha! He's playing
the clean version.
52
00:03:25,931 --> 00:03:27,188
Here's the original.
53
00:03:27,208 --> 00:03:29,857
And the translation
of the lyrics.
54
00:03:30,026 --> 00:03:32,044
She doesn't need
to hear and see that!
55
00:03:33,863 --> 00:03:35,121
My. My God.
56
00:03:35,274 --> 00:03:39,033
My God! ¡Dios mío!
57
00:03:39,127 --> 00:03:41,461
There's no way
you're going to that concert.
58
00:03:41,613 --> 00:03:43,613
I forbid it!
59
00:03:43,632 --> 00:03:45,115
Why did you sell me out?
60
00:03:45,117 --> 00:03:47,284
Great question.
Why'd I do it,
61
00:03:47,302 --> 00:03:51,379
Mutilated Malibu Stacey
with melted-on dog toy for head?
62
00:03:53,125 --> 00:03:55,141
Van Houten residence.
63
00:03:55,236 --> 00:03:56,977
Breadwinner speaking.
64
00:03:57,129 --> 00:03:59,980
Luann. Just the young woman
I wanted to talk to.
65
00:04:00,132 --> 00:04:02,407
I was really hoping
you could convince my mom
66
00:04:02,559 --> 00:04:05,577
that it's okay for me to go
to this concert with Milhouse.
67
00:04:05,729 --> 00:04:07,153
I'm sorry, Bart.
68
00:04:07,248 --> 00:04:08,896
There must have been
a misunderstanding.
69
00:04:08,916 --> 00:04:10,415
You're not invited.
70
00:04:10,567 --> 00:04:12,492
But Milhouse said I was.
71
00:04:12,644 --> 00:04:14,978
That was before
you coerced my son
72
00:04:14,997 --> 00:04:16,997
into misbehaving
on his field trip.
73
00:04:17,149 --> 00:04:19,499
But you don't understand.
I really want to go.
74
00:04:19,668 --> 00:04:22,577
My parenting group workshopped
the most compassionate way
75
00:04:22,671 --> 00:04:23,987
for me to phrase this.
76
00:04:24,080 --> 00:04:26,372
Bart, you're a bad friend,
and you're beyond hope.
77
00:04:26,433 --> 00:04:27,915
Be well.
78
00:04:58,040 --> 00:05:00,132
Luann said what to you?!
79
00:05:00,283 --> 00:05:03,318
That I'm a bad friend,
and I'm beyond hope.
80
00:05:07,624 --> 00:05:09,457
How dare she!
After all the times
81
00:05:09,476 --> 00:05:11,568
we've let her...
I'm just gonna say it...
82
00:05:11,570 --> 00:05:14,980
Dweeb of a son dweeb it up
in our house.
83
00:05:15,131 --> 00:05:16,982
Always making me
watch him moonwalk,
84
00:05:17,133 --> 00:05:20,043
and if I don't clap,
he hides in the bathroom.
85
00:05:20,062 --> 00:05:21,820
No one uninvites my son
86
00:05:21,971 --> 00:05:24,656
to the concert
he's not allowed to go to.
87
00:05:24,808 --> 00:05:27,050
Get up! You and I are going
to go have a little chat
88
00:05:27,219 --> 00:05:28,994
with the Van Houtens.
89
00:05:29,221 --> 00:05:31,646
Ask your father
to come watch the kids.
90
00:06:08,260 --> 00:06:10,702
Took you long enough.
What did you do, crawl here?
91
00:06:10,854 --> 00:06:14,280
I had to walk... in the rain.
Ooh!
92
00:06:14,375 --> 00:06:17,191
Yeah, yeah, you're a real hero.
93
00:06:18,194 --> 00:06:22,881
Did you think for one second how
your words would make Bart feel?
94
00:06:23,108 --> 00:06:24,958
Everything I said was true,
Marge.
95
00:06:25,052 --> 00:06:26,701
Hoo, boy.
96
00:06:26,795 --> 00:06:29,036
- Was it?
- Here we go.
97
00:06:29,172 --> 00:06:30,630
You know how Bart is.
98
00:06:30,782 --> 00:06:32,465
No. I don't.
99
00:06:32,559 --> 00:06:35,285
Why don't you tell me
how my son is?
100
00:06:35,378 --> 00:06:36,878
Man.
101
00:06:36,897 --> 00:06:38,546
It is so on.
102
00:06:38,640 --> 00:06:40,637
Bart and Milhouse have had
their issues in the past,
103
00:06:40,717 --> 00:06:43,143
but we all thought
Bart would get better.
104
00:06:43,295 --> 00:06:46,071
He's getting worse, Marge.
It's just a fact.
105
00:06:46,298 --> 00:06:47,631
Did you hear that, Homer?
106
00:06:47,649 --> 00:06:48,890
Our son is getting worse.
107
00:06:48,909 --> 00:06:50,967
That's so good to know.
108
00:06:50,986 --> 00:06:53,895
Um, if I could just turn
the heat down a little bit here.
109
00:06:53,989 --> 00:06:55,730
I think what Luann is trying
to say, Marge,
110
00:06:55,824 --> 00:06:58,992
is that nobody thinks
that you're a bad mother.
111
00:06:59,144 --> 00:07:01,068
Bad... mother?!
112
00:07:01,163 --> 00:07:03,146
Marge is the greatest mother
on Earth.
113
00:07:03,165 --> 00:07:05,406
She mothers circles
around you freaky,
114
00:07:05,426 --> 00:07:09,261
attachment parenting,
co-sleeping, co-bathing psychos!
115
00:07:09,430 --> 00:07:11,488
Let's go.
It's clear these people have
116
00:07:11,506 --> 00:07:14,641
an all-consuming vendetta
against our son.
117
00:07:16,103 --> 00:07:18,311
I need you to buy Bart
four concert tickets.
118
00:07:18,497 --> 00:07:20,272
On the floor, first ten rows.
119
00:07:20,499 --> 00:07:22,274
I don't care how much they cost.
120
00:07:22,501 --> 00:07:24,501
I... I thought
you didn't want Bart to go?
121
00:07:24,519 --> 00:07:28,697
If that woman wants a fight,
she's going to get one.
122
00:08:06,228 --> 00:08:08,320
Nothing. Still nothing.
123
00:08:08,471 --> 00:08:10,714
Nope. Nada.
124
00:08:10,732 --> 00:08:12,807
N-Nope.
125
00:08:12,901 --> 00:08:14,384
Did you find amazing seats
for Bart?
126
00:08:14,477 --> 00:08:15,494
Not yet.
127
00:08:15,645 --> 00:08:17,904
And I'm checking Stub Dork,
Seat Dweeb,
128
00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:19,739
Ticket Chump, Venue Idiot...
129
00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:22,149
Don't give up, or our son dies!
130
00:08:22,227 --> 00:08:24,836
Socially, amongst his peers.
131
00:08:35,924 --> 00:08:38,575
Row 30. Not good enough.
132
00:08:38,668 --> 00:08:40,577
Nothing. Still nothing.
133
00:08:40,670 --> 00:08:42,169
Finger cramping.
134
00:08:42,189 --> 00:08:44,731
Pain moderate, but...
worth mentioning.
135
00:08:56,278 --> 00:08:58,444
You got the tickets!
136
00:08:58,597 --> 00:09:00,280
It's a VIP package
with admission
137
00:09:00,432 --> 00:09:02,374
to the Front Row Club.
138
00:09:02,601 --> 00:09:06,436
Look. Here's a video of the
Beckham kids throwing up in it.
139
00:09:06,529 --> 00:09:09,105
Ooh, Homer, you actually did it!
140
00:09:09,124 --> 00:09:10,957
Bart is saved!
141
00:09:16,631 --> 00:09:20,392
So I figure before the concert,
we'll pre-game at my pad.
142
00:09:20,543 --> 00:09:24,545
Take some edibles...
Goldfish, pretzel nubs.
143
00:09:24,565 --> 00:09:25,713
- All right!
- Fire!
144
00:09:25,732 --> 00:09:27,340
So dope.
145
00:09:27,492 --> 00:09:28,972
Looking forward
to the big show, guys?
146
00:09:29,127 --> 00:09:31,477
Good for you.
Hey, if I can see your seats
147
00:09:31,630 --> 00:09:34,147
from where I'm sitting...
The Front Row Club...
148
00:09:34,299 --> 00:09:35,648
I'll shoot you a wave.
149
00:09:35,742 --> 00:09:37,300
The Front Row Club?!
150
00:09:37,319 --> 00:09:40,412
That's a perk usually reserved
for industry insiders.
151
00:09:40,581 --> 00:09:42,581
I wanted to ask you three
to come with,
152
00:09:42,732 --> 00:09:44,157
but I'm sure you'd say "no."
153
00:09:44,251 --> 00:09:45,825
You're doing the right thing,
154
00:09:45,919 --> 00:09:47,660
sticking
with your buddy Milhouse.
155
00:09:47,754 --> 00:09:51,906
It's hard, but that's how
you build character.
156
00:09:51,983 --> 00:09:56,152
No! You guys can't bail just
'cause he has way better seats.
157
00:09:56,245 --> 00:09:58,763
Milhouse, don't feel bad
about the bailing.
158
00:09:58,840 --> 00:10:00,581
Just feel happy
that for a few days,
159
00:10:00,601 --> 00:10:03,993
I pretended to like you
for your tickets.
160
00:10:04,087 --> 00:10:07,063
I'll take my "haw-haw" now.
161
00:10:12,613 --> 00:10:15,021
Mom, are you okay?
162
00:10:15,173 --> 00:10:16,948
I'm better than okay.
163
00:10:17,100 --> 00:10:20,343
I spent money we don't have
to show who's the better mother.
164
00:10:20,436 --> 00:10:22,954
Love it. Why don't you do
something for me?
165
00:10:23,106 --> 00:10:25,515
Take a deep breath in.
166
00:10:30,205 --> 00:10:32,372
Boy.
Yeah, that's what I thought.
167
00:10:32,466 --> 00:10:36,617
Mom, your primitive brain
is running the show right now.
168
00:10:36,711 --> 00:10:39,863
One of your "cubs," if you will,
has been threatened,
169
00:10:39,956 --> 00:10:41,865
but in a 21st-century
sort of way.
170
00:10:41,883 --> 00:10:45,143
In response, your body
has entered a state of arousal
171
00:10:45,370 --> 00:10:47,312
called "fight-or-flight."
172
00:10:47,463 --> 00:10:50,649
I'm not in a state.
These are my calm veins.
173
00:10:50,876 --> 00:10:55,695
Remember, you have access
to higher brain function.
174
00:11:00,476 --> 00:11:03,903
So, breathe in
the expensive candle...
175
00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:05,813
exhale the tension.
176
00:11:07,167 --> 00:11:09,242
There is no threat.
177
00:11:09,394 --> 00:11:11,836
Your cubs are safe.
178
00:11:11,988 --> 00:11:16,232
Smell the
"Fresh Morning Airport"?
179
00:11:16,251 --> 00:11:17,567
Ew.
180
00:11:17,585 --> 00:11:20,737
There's no threat.
Bart is okay.
181
00:11:20,830 --> 00:11:21,905
That's right.
182
00:11:21,923 --> 00:11:24,683
No need to fight or flee.
183
00:11:24,834 --> 00:11:26,685
No threat.
184
00:11:28,246 --> 00:11:30,747
No threat at all.
185
00:11:39,032 --> 00:11:40,940
We have a motion
186
00:11:41,092 --> 00:11:43,034
from a concerned parent
to ban all books
187
00:11:43,186 --> 00:11:47,288
about "fallen women"
from the library.
188
00:11:48,266 --> 00:11:50,357
So, motion denied.
189
00:11:50,452 --> 00:11:52,377
I'm pulling my boy
from this school.
190
00:11:52,528 --> 00:11:54,787
It didn't have to go down
like this.
191
00:11:57,384 --> 00:12:00,367
I move to dismiss Marge Simpson
from this board
192
00:12:00,387 --> 00:12:03,780
for bullying my son.
193
00:12:26,471 --> 00:12:29,155
Bullying?
You want to talk about bullying?
194
00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:32,083
She went out of her way
to make my son feel excluded,
195
00:12:32,235 --> 00:12:34,902
less than and othered.
196
00:12:36,164 --> 00:12:39,332
That's the worst thing there be.
197
00:12:45,323 --> 00:12:46,580
Look at what her son did
198
00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:49,509
to the third-grade production
of West Side Story.
199
00:12:51,162 --> 00:12:53,997
That's the kind of behavior
you learn in the home.
200
00:12:56,668 --> 00:12:58,501
You're criticizing my home?
201
00:12:58,594 --> 00:13:00,336
You ever been
to her dusty house?
202
00:13:00,429 --> 00:13:03,323
You think nature
abhors a vacuum?
203
00:13:04,843 --> 00:13:06,509
Look up the word "no," Marge.
204
00:13:06,602 --> 00:13:09,204
Trust me,
it can do wonders with children.
205
00:13:11,349 --> 00:13:14,867
Well, you could learn
how to say yes, to a lice comb.
206
00:13:15,903 --> 00:13:17,854
She grocery-shops
at the Kwik-E-Mart.
207
00:13:17,872 --> 00:13:20,447
Swedish Fish are not a protein.
208
00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:23,359
At least Bart likes my lunches.
209
00:13:23,378 --> 00:13:27,305
Milhouse is the most frequent
lunch trader in the cafeteria.
210
00:13:29,717 --> 00:13:30,934
That is a lie.
211
00:13:32,037 --> 00:13:34,145
I pack an extra lunch
for Milhouse
212
00:13:34,297 --> 00:13:37,390
because I feel sorry for him.
213
00:13:49,237 --> 00:13:52,922
Okay, a lot of big feelings.
214
00:13:52,982 --> 00:13:54,815
I do love mess.
215
00:13:54,835 --> 00:13:56,150
This isn't over.
216
00:13:56,169 --> 00:13:59,587
Not by a long shot, sister.
217
00:14:29,260 --> 00:14:32,686
My God,
look who Milhouse had to bring.
218
00:14:32,706 --> 00:14:34,706
Kindergartners.
219
00:14:36,601 --> 00:14:39,961
You said we were going
to see Cocomelon.
220
00:14:51,040 --> 00:14:52,706
Evening, ma'am.
What brings you here?
221
00:14:52,800 --> 00:14:53,892
Parking, I bet.
222
00:14:54,119 --> 00:14:55,785
We're in the Front Row Club.
223
00:14:55,803 --> 00:14:58,253
I believe parking is included?
224
00:14:58,255 --> 00:15:00,306
We don't accept paper tickets.
225
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:03,292
- You have to use the app.
- What app?
226
00:15:03,311 --> 00:15:05,144
The app it says
you're required to use,
227
00:15:05,296 --> 00:15:09,315
right here on this piece
of paper that is not a ticket.
228
00:15:09,484 --> 00:15:11,801
Homer, the moustache man
who has every job
229
00:15:11,819 --> 00:15:14,612
says we need the app you used
to buy the tickets.
230
00:15:14,764 --> 00:15:17,974
I deleted that app
the second I printed them out.
231
00:15:17,992 --> 00:15:19,400
Can I download the app?
232
00:15:19,494 --> 00:15:21,310
Well, you'll need his password.
233
00:15:21,329 --> 00:15:23,421
It's in my password wallet.
234
00:15:23,572 --> 00:15:25,314
But I deleted that, too.
235
00:15:25,333 --> 00:15:27,408
Why do you keep deleting apps?
236
00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:29,335
I like the way
they jiggle in fear
237
00:15:29,487 --> 00:15:32,513
right before you drop
the hammer.
238
00:15:36,102 --> 00:15:38,844
Come on, Home-slice,
it's your pick.
239
00:15:38,997 --> 00:15:41,013
Are you with Kirk?
240
00:15:41,166 --> 00:15:44,517
Um, well, it's our
fantasy football draft.
241
00:15:44,669 --> 00:15:46,852
After everything those people
have done to Bart?
242
00:15:47,005 --> 00:15:48,780
Traitor!
243
00:15:49,007 --> 00:15:51,574
You are dead to me.
244
00:16:22,390 --> 00:16:27,819
Pull forward and turn
your car around, pally.
245
00:16:27,970 --> 00:16:30,304
Aww, you can't get in?
Well, don't worry.
246
00:16:30,473 --> 00:16:33,974
We'll post pics so Bart can see
all the fun he's missing.
247
00:16:47,732 --> 00:16:50,733
- Have you lost your mind?
- I'm going to save you.
248
00:16:50,752 --> 00:16:52,585
How is this saving me?
249
00:17:14,034 --> 00:17:16,159
Follow me.
250
00:17:55,466 --> 00:17:56,982
Tickets, please.
251
00:17:57,077 --> 00:18:00,578
Some of these people
are carrying outside food.
252
00:18:00,805 --> 00:18:03,331
Outside food! Outside food!
253
00:18:20,100 --> 00:18:23,676
We're either leaving here
in $50 T-shirts or handcuffs.
254
00:18:23,770 --> 00:18:27,980
Perhaps a third course of action
will present itself?
255
00:18:37,008 --> 00:18:38,616
Look, guys, we made it.
256
00:18:38,767 --> 00:18:40,343
The Front Row Club!
257
00:18:40,436 --> 00:18:42,027
Maybe you should take us home.
258
00:18:42,180 --> 00:18:45,123
I don't think anybody's that
psyched for the concert anymore.
259
00:18:45,274 --> 00:18:47,867
Go home? And let Luann win?
260
00:18:47,961 --> 00:18:50,870
Why don't you ask that lady
what she thinks?
261
00:18:52,615 --> 00:18:54,190
Now you know
what we're all thinking.
262
00:18:54,208 --> 00:18:56,617
Not me. I'm cool with you.
263
00:18:56,711 --> 00:18:59,470
Sweetie, I'm so, so sorry.
264
00:18:59,697 --> 00:19:02,381
I've just been feeling
the whole range of emotions:
265
00:19:02,533 --> 00:19:06,218
anger, rage, fury, even miffed.
266
00:19:06,371 --> 00:19:08,888
But I swear,
it was all because I never want
267
00:19:09,040 --> 00:19:11,707
anything bad
to ever happen to you.
268
00:19:11,726 --> 00:19:13,133
I can handle bad.
269
00:19:13,153 --> 00:19:15,895
I can't handle losing
the one good parent I've got.
270
00:19:54,510 --> 00:19:57,436
Why couldn't you just
let me invite Bart?
271
00:19:57,530 --> 00:19:59,680
Honey, but think
of how jealous and miserable
272
00:19:59,699 --> 00:20:00,865
he must be right now.
273
00:20:01,092 --> 00:20:04,017
- Isn't that satisfying?
- It mostly isn't.
274
00:20:04,186 --> 00:20:06,019
I know Bart's a bad influence,
275
00:20:06,188 --> 00:20:09,448
but he's the only kid
who wants to influence me.
276
00:20:09,600 --> 00:20:11,876
He's all I got.
277
00:20:12,103 --> 00:20:13,544
The Front Row Club
won't be much fun
278
00:20:13,771 --> 00:20:16,297
without Bart's best friend.
279
00:21:29,271 --> 00:21:30,621
Shh!
280
00:21:30,701 --> 00:21:32,701
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