Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:03:00,624 --> 00:03:04,301
We repeat: The flying gimp
has been destroyed.
2
00:03:04,302 --> 00:03:06,159
You may return to your homes.
3
00:03:07,503 --> 00:03:11,427
And now back
to The Skye Daley Show
4
00:03:11,428 --> 00:03:15,172
with tonight's special guest
Ricky Coogin.
5
00:03:18,227 --> 00:03:20,941
Ricky, after your
hideous disfigurement,
6
00:03:20,942 --> 00:03:22,656
you're showing
incredible courage
7
00:03:22,657 --> 00:03:26,116
by agreeing to finally
show yourself in public.
8
00:03:26,230 --> 00:03:28,069
Thanks.
9
00:03:28,363 --> 00:03:32,219
America has watched you grow up
in television and in movies.
10
00:03:32,363 --> 00:03:35,112
For years, you were everyone's
favorite little brother
11
00:03:35,113 --> 00:03:37,571
in that hits series,
The Baker's Dozen.
12
00:03:37,572 --> 00:03:40,315
Aw.
13
00:03:40,316 --> 00:03:42,669
And of course as the star
14
00:03:42,670 --> 00:03:45,859
of those hilarious
Ghost Dude movies.
15
00:03:46,136 --> 00:03:48,462
Well, you got
the entire country saying,
16
00:03:48,487 --> 00:03:51,767
- "boo, dude!"
- Boo, dude!
17
00:03:51,768 --> 00:03:53,104
But now...
18
00:03:53,128 --> 00:03:55,508
after your horrific ordeal,
19
00:03:55,813 --> 00:03:57,624
the very mention of your name
20
00:03:57,625 --> 00:04:00,393
makes children scream in terror.
21
00:04:01,678 --> 00:04:04,115
Ricky Coogin...
22
00:04:04,116 --> 00:04:06,838
the world is waiting
to hear your story.
23
00:04:07,973 --> 00:04:11,683
Well, it's kind of long,
but... okay.
24
00:04:12,022 --> 00:04:15,020
It all started when I was
approached to be spokesman
25
00:04:15,021 --> 00:04:17,918
for a multinational
corporation called E.E.S.
26
00:04:17,919 --> 00:04:20,009
Oh, the everything
except shoes people.
27
00:04:20,010 --> 00:04:21,939
Right. I was
at their headquarters
28
00:04:21,940 --> 00:04:24,201
to meet the chairman
and the board of directors.
29
00:04:24,202 --> 00:04:27,588
They wanted to send me to South America
to promote a controversial fertilizer
30
00:04:27,589 --> 00:04:29,468
called Zygrot-24.
31
00:04:29,469 --> 00:04:31,717
You are the only one
who can stand up
32
00:04:31,718 --> 00:04:33,615
to these radicals
who are trying to keep
33
00:04:33,616 --> 00:04:36,264
Zygrot-24
from the struggling farmers
34
00:04:36,265 --> 00:04:38,608
whose very future depends on it.
35
00:04:39,036 --> 00:04:40,854
Wasn't that stuff banned?
36
00:04:41,021 --> 00:04:42,337
Only in the U.S.
37
00:04:42,957 --> 00:04:44,202
And Europe.
38
00:04:44,897 --> 00:04:45,613
Uh-uh.
39
00:04:45,767 --> 00:04:47,870
I heard that shit's lethal.
40
00:04:47,871 --> 00:04:50,454
All right.
You need proof. Fine.
41
00:04:50,754 --> 00:04:52,369
Please, sit down.
42
00:04:53,008 --> 00:04:53,362
Hmm.
43
00:04:53,363 --> 00:04:57,771
I would like you to meet the head of our
South American research facility,
44
00:04:58,047 --> 00:05:00,217
Señor Juan Valdez.
45
00:05:00,829 --> 00:05:03,548
My name is George Ramirez.
46
00:05:03,787 --> 00:05:04,787
Whatever.
47
00:05:05,125 --> 00:05:07,105
He's been working
with Zygrot-24 every day
48
00:05:07,106 --> 00:05:08,957
for the last five years,
49
00:05:08,958 --> 00:05:11,544
and look at him. He's in fine shape.
50
00:05:11,968 --> 00:05:12,968
Aren't you...
51
00:05:13,712 --> 00:05:14,850
Juan?
52
00:05:20,338 --> 00:05:21,532
Yes.
53
00:05:22,521 --> 00:05:24,189
I am fine.
54
00:05:25,923 --> 00:05:28,612
I want you to know
that me and my team
55
00:05:28,613 --> 00:05:31,034
- in Santa Flan—
- Santa Flan?
56
00:05:31,035 --> 00:05:33,963
What kind of shitty name
for a country is that?
57
00:05:36,186 --> 00:05:38,493
It is named for the patron saint
58
00:05:38,494 --> 00:05:40,744
of creamy desserts.
59
00:05:41,843 --> 00:05:43,340
As I was saying,
60
00:05:43,867 --> 00:05:47,945
we have worked very closely
with Zygrot-24.
61
00:05:47,976 --> 00:05:51,295
I have personally supervised
its development.
62
00:05:51,548 --> 00:05:54,602
No potential danger
was left uninvestigated.
63
00:05:54,603 --> 00:05:57,231
The environmentalists
are crackpots!
64
00:05:57,232 --> 00:06:00,479
All of them!
This is ridiculous, I tell you!
65
00:06:00,480 --> 00:06:02,913
Totally ridiculous!
66
00:06:03,311 --> 00:06:05,681
Thank you, Valdez.
That will be all.
67
00:06:06,842 --> 00:06:10,292
- Hey, wait a minute.
- Ricky, this is important.
68
00:06:10,293 --> 00:06:12,796
We are talking
about a major threat
69
00:06:12,797 --> 00:06:14,732
to the E.E.S. image.
70
00:06:17,805 --> 00:06:20,970
How does $2 million
plus expenses sound?
71
00:06:21,622 --> 00:06:23,021
Oh, Dick,
72
00:06:23,022 --> 00:06:25,309
$2 million sounds great...
73
00:06:26,306 --> 00:06:27,132
but...
74
00:06:27,277 --> 00:06:28,491
I hear you.
75
00:06:29,984 --> 00:06:31,650
Let's make it $5 million.
76
00:06:32,992 --> 00:06:34,561
Well, that is
if the board agrees.
77
00:06:34,562 --> 00:06:36,448
Gentlemen, all those in favor.
78
00:06:36,449 --> 00:06:39,240
Good. It's unanimous.
79
00:06:40,637 --> 00:06:42,965
Well, Ricky, what do you say?
80
00:06:42,966 --> 00:06:46,548
Are you E.E.S.'s man
in Santa Flan?
81
00:06:47,247 --> 00:06:48,247
Mmm.
82
00:06:50,829 --> 00:06:51,829
Hmm.
83
00:07:02,586 --> 00:07:04,379
So the deal was done.
84
00:07:04,552 --> 00:07:07,623
I was Ricky Coogin,
toxic chemical salesman.
85
00:07:07,833 --> 00:07:11,181
Me and my buddy Ernie hopped on
the next plane for Santa Flan.
86
00:07:11,182 --> 00:07:12,424
Oh, did they show a movie?
87
00:07:12,425 --> 00:07:15,553
- "Return to The Blue Lagoon."
- Oh, I heard that sucked.
88
00:07:16,032 --> 00:07:19,173
Where the hell is Ernie?
89
00:07:20,048 --> 00:07:23,258
Ladies! All I wanted
was a manicure!
90
00:07:23,704 --> 00:07:25,616
Hey, I'm kidding.
What is that, gravy?
91
00:07:29,569 --> 00:07:30,712
Where did you get that?
92
00:07:30,858 --> 00:07:32,927
I don't know, Coog.
It started as a pimple,
93
00:07:32,928 --> 00:07:35,679
and then I scratched it.
94
00:07:37,250 --> 00:07:39,878
Can I get either of you gentlemen
a pillow or a blanket?
95
00:07:39,879 --> 00:07:41,052
Yes, please.
96
00:07:48,072 --> 00:07:49,782
Is that your luggage up there?
97
00:07:49,783 --> 00:07:53,296
- Yeah.
- Is that your ugly little troll?
98
00:07:53,515 --> 00:07:55,402
Stuey Gluck!
99
00:07:55,445 --> 00:07:58,025
Rick!
100
00:07:58,335 --> 00:08:00,472
Look!
I got a rare still
101
00:08:00,473 --> 00:08:03,037
from your first season
on The Baker's Dozen!
102
00:08:03,130 --> 00:08:06,882
Could you sign it
for me, please?
103
00:08:07,067 --> 00:08:08,822
Baker's Dozen. I liked
the mom on that show.
104
00:08:08,823 --> 00:08:10,330
- I porked her.
- Cool.
105
00:08:10,658 --> 00:08:12,065
Hello!
106
00:08:12,183 --> 00:08:13,183
Rick!
107
00:08:17,603 --> 00:08:21,200
Rick, it says here
Zygrot-24 is dangerous.
108
00:08:21,290 --> 00:08:23,914
Why are you lending
your name to it, Rick?
109
00:08:23,993 --> 00:08:25,699
You used to be good,
110
00:08:25,700 --> 00:08:29,058
and now, I just don't know.
111
00:08:43,046 --> 00:08:44,817
Don't cry, Stuey.
112
00:08:45,363 --> 00:08:49,064
Deep down, I'm still good.
113
00:08:51,611 --> 00:08:55,239
Yes! He-he-he.
114
00:09:10,137 --> 00:09:11,719
May I take your bomb, sir?
115
00:09:11,743 --> 00:09:12,894
Captain Benway here.
116
00:09:12,895 --> 00:09:16,339
To the right of the aircraft you can see a
terrific view of the Grand Canyon,
117
00:09:16,473 --> 00:09:19,690
and to the left you can see a
panic-stricken little troll.
118
00:09:20,479 --> 00:09:25,180
Rick!
119
00:09:29,415 --> 00:09:30,441
You gonna eat
your peanuts, Ernie?
120
00:09:30,442 --> 00:09:31,969
- No, you can have 'em.
- Thanks.
121
00:09:42,827 --> 00:09:45,005
Hey, I'm okay!
122
00:09:45,036 --> 00:09:46,036
Ow!
123
00:09:49,512 --> 00:09:51,731
{\an8}Here we are, Ernie. Santa Spam,
124
00:09:51,756 --> 00:09:54,165
{\an8}world-famous for loud music
and hot sex.
125
00:09:54,166 --> 00:09:55,967
- It is?
- Give me a few hours.
126
00:09:58,872 --> 00:10:00,444
Sure glad that wasn't our plane.
127
00:10:03,750 --> 00:10:05,416
Take your toxic crap away!
128
00:10:05,417 --> 00:10:08,808
E.E.S. musn't stay!
Take your toxic crap away!
129
00:10:15,966 --> 00:10:18,729
Jesus, we'd better find the limo
right now
130
00:10:18,732 --> 00:10:22,117
before these whale-kissers
chop us up and sell us for parts.
131
00:10:22,245 --> 00:10:23,856
Ooh...
132
00:10:26,011 --> 00:10:27,752
I got a better idea.
133
00:10:28,785 --> 00:10:31,224
If I can just find
the right disguise.
134
00:10:33,814 --> 00:10:35,397
Oh. Oh!
135
00:10:35,986 --> 00:10:38,639
Take these.
136
00:10:39,301 --> 00:10:41,197
Give me back my crutches,
you monster!
137
00:10:41,199 --> 00:10:43,263
Oh, it hurts!
Oh God!
138
00:10:47,283 --> 00:10:48,466
Are you okay?
139
00:10:49,062 --> 00:10:51,255
- Ah! Oh.
- Let me help you.
140
00:10:51,256 --> 00:10:53,625
Thanks. Oh, don't
worry about me.
141
00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:58,034
What's one man's pain weighed against
the global injustice
142
00:10:58,035 --> 00:11:01,665
of corporate tyrants
like E.E.S.? Go!
143
00:11:02,072 --> 00:11:04,273
The fight must continue!
144
00:11:04,274 --> 00:11:05,384
Wow!
145
00:11:06,803 --> 00:11:09,544
My name's Julie.
- Josh.
146
00:11:09,871 --> 00:11:11,005
Josh Tavern.
147
00:11:11,658 --> 00:11:13,453
Mother Teresa.
Glad to meet you.
148
00:11:15,361 --> 00:11:17,312
- Give me those, you ape!
- Ow!
149
00:11:17,542 --> 00:11:19,788
Josh, a busload of us are headed
150
00:11:19,789 --> 00:11:22,570
over to Maracas
to protest Zygrot-24
151
00:11:22,571 --> 00:11:25,094
and pelt Ricky Coogin
with cow shit.
152
00:11:25,102 --> 00:11:28,365
Hmm, same here.
You can ride with us!
153
00:11:28,373 --> 00:11:30,694
Us? You're with him?
154
00:11:30,928 --> 00:11:33,633
Oh, Ernie? Eh, he's okay.
155
00:11:33,977 --> 00:11:36,005
- You ever heard of an idiot savant?
- Sure.
156
00:11:36,006 --> 00:11:38,596
Oh, that's Ernie,
except for the savant part.
157
00:11:43,956 --> 00:11:45,844
Yeah, well,
one thing's for sure...
158
00:11:45,860 --> 00:11:48,911
that Coogin guy sure
is an asshole, huh?
159
00:11:48,912 --> 00:11:51,784
I'll say!
What a total piece of shit!
160
00:11:51,785 --> 00:11:53,952
I mean— don't
you think so, Josh?
161
00:11:53,965 --> 00:11:56,759
Well um... he's got a few problems.
162
00:11:56,760 --> 00:12:01,081
And what a lousy actor! I mean,
can you believe all that Ghost Dude crap?
163
00:12:01,082 --> 00:12:02,392
Oh, come on!
With a script that bad,
164
00:12:02,393 --> 00:12:04,821
he deserves an oscar for coming off as
good as he did.
165
00:12:05,443 --> 00:12:07,985
- Well, he's no Christian Slater.
- Slater?!
166
00:12:08,317 --> 00:12:11,568
Now, come on, I can act circles around
that one-note hack!
167
00:12:13,934 --> 00:12:16,970
And you think Slater can
improv like this?! Huh?
168
00:12:19,750 --> 00:12:20,811
Ugh!
169
00:12:21,412 --> 00:12:22,412
Damn it!
170
00:12:24,029 --> 00:12:25,167
So...
171
00:12:25,594 --> 00:12:26,594
Julie...
172
00:12:26,769 --> 00:12:29,638
you like Swedish films?
173
00:12:38,377 --> 00:12:41,630
You don't even wanna hear the truth
about Zygrot-24, do you, Coogin?
174
00:12:41,768 --> 00:12:43,797
I mean, look, I am not saying
this stuff is gonna
175
00:12:43,798 --> 00:12:45,216
turn anyone into some kind of...
176
00:12:45,217 --> 00:12:46,551
"Human worm"?
177
00:12:46,575 --> 00:12:49,964
Exactly! A human worm.
I mean, that's just absurd!
178
00:12:49,965 --> 00:12:52,403
- The point is that this product—
- "Dawgboy"?
179
00:12:52,713 --> 00:12:55,512
Yeah, or a dog boy.
That's stupid.
180
00:12:55,523 --> 00:12:58,810
- The point is, is it's a very—
- "Hideous frawgman"?
181
00:12:58,811 --> 00:13:01,094
Okay, now you're
just being silly.
182
00:13:01,477 --> 00:13:04,228
Human suffering is a big joke to you,
isn't it, Coogin?
183
00:13:04,239 --> 00:13:06,927
- What?
- You are so sick.
184
00:13:08,737 --> 00:13:10,874
Cool!
A freak show!
185
00:13:11,323 --> 00:13:12,490
Let's check it out!
186
00:13:13,501 --> 00:13:15,797
Kinda like a family reunion
for you, huh?
187
00:13:15,806 --> 00:13:18,432
Hey, lighten up, Coog.
Could be a goof.
188
00:13:30,020 --> 00:13:31,055
Freekz® is a registered
trademark of
189
00:13:31,056 --> 00:13:33,065
Elijah C. Skuggs Enterprises.
Any unauthorized reproduction
190
00:13:33,066 --> 00:13:35,146
is strictly prohibited without
prior written consent.
191
00:14:15,317 --> 00:14:17,392
Welcome to Freek Land,
192
00:14:17,401 --> 00:14:21,618
home of nature's
most repulsive mistakes.
193
00:14:21,830 --> 00:14:23,603
Don't forget to visit
our snack bar,
194
00:14:23,604 --> 00:14:25,592
and please, no spitting.
195
00:14:27,707 --> 00:14:29,212
Isn't this great?
196
00:14:31,264 --> 00:14:32,829
It is so...
197
00:14:33,856 --> 00:14:35,156
real.
198
00:14:35,400 --> 00:14:37,190
Real stupid.
199
00:14:44,571 --> 00:14:46,695
Let's go, Ernie.
This place is dead.
200
00:14:46,696 --> 00:14:48,336
Yeah, where's all the weirdoes?
201
00:14:48,337 --> 00:14:52,230
There are no weirdoes here!
202
00:14:55,663 --> 00:14:56,793
Mutants?
203
00:14:57,206 --> 00:14:58,206
Yes.
204
00:14:59,051 --> 00:15:01,007
Genetic nightmares?
205
00:15:01,426 --> 00:15:02,809
Definitely.
206
00:15:03,372 --> 00:15:05,087
Children of hell,
207
00:15:05,112 --> 00:15:08,529
twisted masses
of living, breathing...
208
00:15:09,028 --> 00:15:10,815
tormented flesh?
209
00:15:11,202 --> 00:15:12,279
Certainly.
210
00:15:13,048 --> 00:15:15,673
But as for weirdoes...
211
00:15:20,160 --> 00:15:21,597
Not a one.
212
00:15:22,238 --> 00:15:23,975
Unless, of course...
213
00:15:25,332 --> 00:15:26,808
you count me.
214
00:15:28,819 --> 00:15:33,125
Nah. You seem like a regular dumbshit
old redneck to me.
215
00:15:35,596 --> 00:15:37,260
I'm Julie, and you are?
216
00:15:37,360 --> 00:15:39,228
I am Elijah C. Skuggs,
217
00:15:39,229 --> 00:15:43,103
proud proprietor of Skuggs' fabulous
Freek Land and Mutant Emporium,
218
00:15:43,104 --> 00:15:45,356
but you already knew that!
219
00:15:45,357 --> 00:15:49,501
After all, you have ventured miles away
from civilization...
220
00:15:49,714 --> 00:15:52,606
hospitals, telephones,
221
00:15:53,527 --> 00:15:55,404
police!
222
00:15:57,064 --> 00:15:58,576
How may I help you?
223
00:15:58,879 --> 00:15:59,879
Drop dead.
224
00:16:00,932 --> 00:16:04,075
We would love to
see your freak show.
225
00:16:04,076 --> 00:16:07,223
You see, you have
built a monument
226
00:16:07,224 --> 00:16:09,311
to the variety and...
227
00:16:09,335 --> 00:16:11,163
innovation of nature.
228
00:16:13,144 --> 00:16:16,846
It reminds us to respect
the fragile complexity
229
00:16:16,847 --> 00:16:18,909
of our global ecosystem.
230
00:16:19,170 --> 00:16:22,224
And you come to me looking for weirdoes.
231
00:16:23,584 --> 00:16:25,534
Hey? Hey!
232
00:16:25,910 --> 00:16:28,074
Ugh!
233
00:16:28,215 --> 00:16:30,088
Ew!
234
00:16:33,963 --> 00:16:35,657
Hello.
235
00:16:35,658 --> 00:16:38,441
Mr. Toad
is my assistant.
236
00:16:39,023 --> 00:16:42,284
As for the show, I'm afraid the next
parade of deformity
237
00:16:42,285 --> 00:16:43,495
isn't until tomorrow evening.
238
00:16:43,519 --> 00:16:44,814
- Aww.
- However...
239
00:16:45,190 --> 00:16:46,696
I do have a...
240
00:16:47,005 --> 00:16:48,348
private exhibit...
241
00:16:48,692 --> 00:16:49,751
in my...
242
00:16:50,087 --> 00:16:51,117
shed...
243
00:16:51,854 --> 00:16:53,350
you might be interested in.
244
00:16:53,375 --> 00:16:56,903
I don't usually share it with
the general public.
245
00:16:56,904 --> 00:16:59,949
Well, we're... deeply
honored, but...
246
00:17:00,094 --> 00:17:00,808
no thanks.
247
00:17:01,027 --> 00:17:02,732
Yeah, we're really...
248
00:17:03,808 --> 00:17:05,090
Alright.
249
00:17:06,473 --> 00:17:09,667
I used to blow up toads
with firecrackers, pal!
250
00:17:10,117 --> 00:17:11,839
So watch it!
251
00:17:11,840 --> 00:17:12,847
The sideshow tradition
252
00:17:12,848 --> 00:17:15,349
has been completely
misrepresented by the media.
253
00:17:15,350 --> 00:17:16,181
Ooh, yes.
254
00:17:16,193 --> 00:17:18,721
I mean, you don't
traffic in human misery.
255
00:17:18,722 --> 00:17:22,198
You show society a part of itself it
just doesn't want to look at.
256
00:17:22,199 --> 00:17:23,531
Mm-hmm.
257
00:17:23,805 --> 00:17:25,220
You getting this?
258
00:17:25,705 --> 00:17:27,142
What the hell, huh?
259
00:17:27,143 --> 00:17:28,287
You know, we'll see some pickled
260
00:17:28,311 --> 00:17:29,812
dog brains.
261
00:17:29,828 --> 00:17:32,049
Maybe some pictures
of women with, you know...
262
00:17:32,203 --> 00:17:34,239
added equipment, eh?
263
00:17:34,240 --> 00:17:36,305
- Huh?
- Why not?
264
00:17:57,254 --> 00:18:00,939
I just love The Family Circus.
265
00:18:01,221 --> 00:18:03,697
Are you out of your mind?!
266
00:18:03,713 --> 00:18:07,741
I do admit they—they use the
same joke over and over again.
267
00:18:07,742 --> 00:18:11,688
I'm just a sucker for this little moppet's
shenanigans, that's all.
268
00:18:12,732 --> 00:18:15,788
Perhaps I should tell you
a little bit more...
269
00:18:15,906 --> 00:18:17,816
about what I do.
270
00:18:18,747 --> 00:18:20,361
You see...
271
00:18:20,385 --> 00:18:22,891
I not only exhibit freaks...
272
00:18:24,557 --> 00:18:26,524
I make them.
273
00:18:26,610 --> 00:18:28,993
Just like Michelangelo
274
00:18:29,006 --> 00:18:31,223
saw the Angel in the stone,
275
00:18:31,881 --> 00:18:34,007
I can look at a guy like...
276
00:18:34,358 --> 00:18:35,920
Kevin Costner
277
00:18:36,207 --> 00:18:38,594
and see a giant peach grub
278
00:18:38,595 --> 00:18:41,798
who can fart The Blue Danube.
279
00:18:43,335 --> 00:18:45,366
Behold!
280
00:18:45,452 --> 00:18:49,254
The tasty freaks machine!
281
00:18:50,777 --> 00:18:53,587
My God!
He's using Zygrot-24!
282
00:18:53,673 --> 00:18:55,982
Hey, you're not supposed
to have that stuff!
283
00:18:55,983 --> 00:18:58,583
Well, then I guess I'm not
supposed to have these either!
284
00:19:01,221 --> 00:19:03,650
Who wants to get freaked first?
285
00:19:03,651 --> 00:19:05,692
- Ladies first!
- Go screw yourself!
286
00:19:05,693 --> 00:19:06,667
If I were you, I would.
287
00:19:06,667 --> 00:19:07,565
Oh!
288
00:19:07,566 --> 00:19:08,751
Oh God!
289
00:19:10,055 --> 00:19:11,090
Hmm.
290
00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:17,424
Let's see now. What should we do
with these two?
291
00:19:17,449 --> 00:19:21,143
Well, let's see.
Ain't it always, huh?
292
00:19:21,463 --> 00:19:24,594
Do we make them deformed?
293
00:19:24,875 --> 00:19:26,591
Michael Jackson.
294
00:19:27,539 --> 00:19:30,151
Yeah, that's like yin and yang.
295
00:19:30,373 --> 00:19:32,283
AC, DC.
296
00:19:33,613 --> 00:19:36,235
Two birds with one stone.
297
00:19:37,345 --> 00:19:39,103
That's pretty darn good, really.
298
00:19:40,491 --> 00:19:43,093
Let 'er rip, Toad!
299
00:19:45,401 --> 00:19:46,401
Uh...
300
00:20:10,605 --> 00:20:13,806
Wait, wait.
301
00:20:14,057 --> 00:20:15,584
Wait a second!
302
00:20:15,608 --> 00:20:17,575
You're really gonna
rub that stuff on us
303
00:20:17,576 --> 00:20:19,230
and mutate our body parts?
304
00:20:20,082 --> 00:20:21,194
Correct.
305
00:20:21,355 --> 00:20:22,061
Well...
306
00:20:22,085 --> 00:20:24,493
then could you give me like
a really big rodney?
307
00:20:24,951 --> 00:20:26,880
I'm a mad scientist, pal...
308
00:20:27,197 --> 00:20:28,940
not a miracle worker.
309
00:20:29,093 --> 00:20:30,536
No!
310
00:20:44,415 --> 00:20:47,152
Gumby!
Put that thing away!
311
00:20:53,223 --> 00:20:56,239
Feast your eyes!
312
00:21:02,484 --> 00:21:03,612
Oh, well...
313
00:21:03,785 --> 00:21:06,201
at least I'll never have to go far
for a piece of tail.
314
00:21:06,763 --> 00:21:08,102
Pig!
315
00:21:08,869 --> 00:21:10,553
- Ow!
- Toad...
316
00:21:10,918 --> 00:21:12,797
take them to their quarters.
317
00:21:19,551 --> 00:21:20,719
A mere...
318
00:21:21,551 --> 00:21:22,991
party trick.
319
00:21:23,796 --> 00:21:25,131
But you—
320
00:21:26,419 --> 00:21:27,681
You're gonna be...
321
00:21:28,333 --> 00:21:29,880
special.
322
00:22:03,086 --> 00:22:06,451
Laughing Man, this is Red Swan.
323
00:22:08,783 --> 00:22:10,805
Fine, thank you, and you?
324
00:22:10,818 --> 00:22:13,561
Listen, I have created
325
00:22:13,562 --> 00:22:15,960
the ultimate freak— sort of.
326
00:22:17,660 --> 00:22:18,881
Yes. Well, see,
that's just it...
327
00:22:18,882 --> 00:22:20,917
he's not quite...
328
00:22:20,941 --> 00:22:21,921
finished.
329
00:22:21,922 --> 00:22:24,124
I'm gonna need some more
of that...
330
00:22:24,148 --> 00:22:25,891
Zygrot-24.
331
00:22:31,661 --> 00:22:33,484
Could you spell that?
332
00:22:33,676 --> 00:22:36,664
- Ha. Ho. Hee.
- Yes.
333
00:22:36,942 --> 00:22:38,558
Hey. Hoo.
334
00:22:39,901 --> 00:22:43,022
Got it.
335
00:22:43,313 --> 00:22:45,288
Yes, uh...
336
00:22:45,289 --> 00:22:48,197
well, you—you take it easy too, laughing...
337
00:22:50,005 --> 00:22:51,475
Asshole.
338
00:22:55,945 --> 00:22:57,856
Wakey, wakey.
339
00:22:58,023 --> 00:23:00,025
Eggs and bakey.
340
00:23:00,941 --> 00:23:04,893
Time to meet and greet
the brand new you.
341
00:23:12,338 --> 00:23:14,993
Oh God! This was
my good side!
342
00:23:14,994 --> 00:23:17,048
Still is, if you ask me.
343
00:23:17,062 --> 00:23:20,879
Hell, wait till see what I've got planned
for the other side.
344
00:23:22,091 --> 00:23:25,088
Welcome to your spacious
accommodations.
345
00:23:33,674 --> 00:23:35,595
Great use of the space.
346
00:23:35,627 --> 00:23:38,977
Yeah, yeah. I learned it all
from Bob Vila.
347
00:23:39,195 --> 00:23:42,052
You know, you could expose
these rusted beams
348
00:23:42,053 --> 00:23:45,749
and put in a skylight
over just one weekend, Elijah.
349
00:23:45,949 --> 00:23:47,707
Give it a rest, Bob.
350
00:23:58,366 --> 00:24:00,990
One of these days I gotta put a
shitter in there.
351
00:24:00,991 --> 00:24:03,153
No problem, Elijah,
it's all right here
352
00:24:03,154 --> 00:24:05,374
in my new book,
"Bedrooms and Bathrooms."
353
00:24:05,399 --> 00:24:07,078
In fact, if you take
this one on...
354
00:24:11,744 --> 00:24:12,942
Ernie.
355
00:24:14,117 --> 00:24:16,929
- Julie.
- Over here, Coog.
356
00:24:17,545 --> 00:24:20,556
- Are you alright?
- Oh, I know that voice.
357
00:24:20,582 --> 00:24:24,589
That's the voice that said, "cool!
A freak show! Let's check it out!"
358
00:24:24,590 --> 00:24:28,155
Oh, sure. Blame the woman!
Typical.
359
00:24:28,474 --> 00:24:31,996
"It's so real!" Is this real enough
for you?!
360
00:24:31,997 --> 00:24:33,809
I'm friggin' Quasimodo!
361
00:24:34,112 --> 00:24:35,580
Lighten up, Coog.
362
00:24:37,722 --> 00:24:40,933
You're talking to the original tag team
of ugly pukes here.
363
00:24:41,682 --> 00:24:43,076
Look at this outfit.
364
00:24:43,485 --> 00:24:44,485
Come on...
365
00:24:44,612 --> 00:24:46,984
- step into the light.
- Okay.
366
00:24:47,737 --> 00:24:49,213
Here I come.
367
00:24:56,368 --> 00:24:58,260
Oh, jeez.
368
00:24:59,160 --> 00:25:00,391
Well...
369
00:25:00,849 --> 00:25:02,657
it's not so revolting.
370
00:25:02,732 --> 00:25:05,080
I mean...
371
00:25:05,104 --> 00:25:06,809
I mean, after all,
372
00:25:07,196 --> 00:25:11,346
physical beauty is merely
a socially enforced myth that...
373
00:25:13,188 --> 00:25:14,976
Oh shit.
374
00:25:18,246 --> 00:25:21,674
Yeah? Well, you're
no Mona Lisa's yourself.
375
00:25:21,848 --> 00:25:24,096
You're lucky I got
a strong stomach.
376
00:25:24,215 --> 00:25:25,627
And you are lucky
I do not bite you!
377
00:25:25,896 --> 00:25:26,455
Huh?
378
00:25:26,456 --> 00:25:28,008
Get away from me,
379
00:25:28,009 --> 00:25:30,466
- you— you—
- Freak?
380
00:25:32,879 --> 00:25:36,297
I am Ortiz, the dog boy.
381
00:25:36,496 --> 00:25:38,524
Leader of the freaks.
382
00:25:38,978 --> 00:25:40,883
Kind of like the top dog.
383
00:25:41,307 --> 00:25:43,825
Welcome to hell, Rick.
384
00:25:44,596 --> 00:25:45,984
Shake.
385
00:25:46,078 --> 00:25:47,011
No thanks,
386
00:25:47,012 --> 00:25:48,948
I don't plan on staying long.
387
00:25:49,024 --> 00:25:50,292
Huh?
388
00:25:50,565 --> 00:25:52,129
Shh, shh. Hey. No.
389
00:25:52,977 --> 00:25:54,843
How many of you
are there in here, anyway?
390
00:25:54,844 --> 00:25:58,540
First, I have a question
for you, Ricardo.
391
00:25:58,584 --> 00:26:02,104
Who starred in the film...
392
00:26:03,035 --> 00:26:05,740
- "Exorcist II: The Heretic"?
- Huh?
393
00:26:05,741 --> 00:26:09,067
Well, perhaps we
should ask The Worm?
394
00:26:11,458 --> 00:26:14,320
Who starred in "The Exorcist II:
The Heretic"?
395
00:26:14,743 --> 00:26:19,118
- Olivia Newton-John.
- Olivia Newton-John.
396
00:26:19,530 --> 00:26:21,763
Rick, do you agree or disagree?
397
00:26:21,905 --> 00:26:24,769
This is nuts!
This is crazy!
398
00:26:25,093 --> 00:26:27,654
- Besides, it was Linda Blair.
- Very good.
399
00:26:27,655 --> 00:26:29,963
It was Linda Blair!
400
00:26:29,964 --> 00:26:33,163
Circle gets the square!
401
00:26:33,167 --> 00:26:34,567
All right, that's cool.
That's cool.
402
00:26:34,687 --> 00:26:35,876
Okay.
403
00:26:36,205 --> 00:26:37,205
Julie-Ernie,
404
00:26:37,443 --> 00:26:40,397
who's it going to be?
Nosey the Noseman?
405
00:26:40,398 --> 00:26:43,850
What?!
406
00:26:43,851 --> 00:26:46,336
- Cowboy!
- Howdy.
407
00:26:46,482 --> 00:26:48,078
The Bearded Lady.
408
00:26:49,418 --> 00:26:50,324
How you doing?
409
00:26:50,325 --> 00:26:53,191
- Sockhead.
- Hi.
410
00:26:53,449 --> 00:26:55,134
The Eternal Flame!
411
00:26:56,103 --> 00:26:59,234
- Fire in the hole. Yeah!
- Rosie, the Pinhead.
412
00:27:01,503 --> 00:27:05,346
The Hideous Frogman.
413
00:27:05,879 --> 00:27:10,496
And of course, in the center square,
Mr. Paul Lynde!
414
00:27:12,038 --> 00:27:15,219
Well, who will it be?
415
00:27:15,220 --> 00:27:17,646
Call me old fashioned,
but I'll go with Paul Lynde.
416
00:27:17,647 --> 00:27:19,114
- Don't be an idiot!
- He's funny.
417
00:27:19,115 --> 00:27:20,115
Oh!
418
00:27:24,490 --> 00:27:26,082
Don't you see, Rick?
419
00:27:26,170 --> 00:27:29,028
Just because we are freaks,
420
00:27:29,029 --> 00:27:31,824
does not mean we do not know how
to have some fun, huh?
421
00:27:32,098 --> 00:27:33,543
Get away from me!
422
00:27:33,813 --> 00:27:35,005
Get away!
423
00:27:35,463 --> 00:27:38,072
I'm not like you!
You hear me?!
424
00:27:38,229 --> 00:27:41,549
I am Ricky Coogin.
I am not a freak!
425
00:27:48,834 --> 00:27:50,149
What a joke!
426
00:27:51,458 --> 00:27:54,173
Freak! Freak! Freak!
427
00:28:00,435 --> 00:28:02,367
Poor kid.
428
00:28:06,808 --> 00:28:08,686
This sucks.
429
00:28:10,206 --> 00:28:13,871
Hmm. I wonder if they're still
casting Gremlins 3.
430
00:28:13,962 --> 00:28:15,991
I'll call my agent
in the morning.
431
00:28:17,001 --> 00:28:20,819
Look, Rick, all the freaks
have been through this anguish.
432
00:28:20,827 --> 00:28:23,736
At first, I was blinded by my anger.
I admit that.
433
00:28:23,872 --> 00:28:26,730
I wanted to ring your neck
for getting us into this, but...
434
00:28:27,245 --> 00:28:28,552
I got over it.
435
00:28:29,061 --> 00:28:32,460
Ortiz taught me to channel my anger
for the common good.
436
00:28:32,587 --> 00:28:34,391
You wanted to see
the freak show.
437
00:28:34,554 --> 00:28:36,366
I thought I told you to shut up!
438
00:28:37,729 --> 00:28:39,090
Let go of me!
439
00:28:41,088 --> 00:28:43,225
- Ernie!
- Oh.
440
00:28:43,953 --> 00:28:48,162
Sorry, Coog. For a second there,
I was— was a total man-hater.
441
00:28:50,416 --> 00:28:51,416
Here.
442
00:28:51,683 --> 00:28:52,922
Take it.
443
00:28:53,865 --> 00:28:57,404
"So you're a hideous mutant freak.
Now what?"
444
00:28:57,605 --> 00:29:01,656
I don't need this! I'm not like those other
god-forsaken animals.
445
00:29:01,839 --> 00:29:05,071
You're mistaken, Rick.
You're exactly like us.
446
00:29:06,079 --> 00:29:09,718
We were all normal, healthy folk before
we made the fateful mistake
447
00:29:09,719 --> 00:29:12,007
of coming to this hellhole
at an off hour.
448
00:29:12,793 --> 00:29:16,895
When I first came here,
I was a professor of lacrophylogy...
449
00:29:17,156 --> 00:29:19,440
The study of worms, of course.
450
00:29:19,441 --> 00:29:22,278
I was on the trail
of the fat, pudgy worm.
451
00:29:22,279 --> 00:29:25,129
Mr. Skuggs said he had
just such worm in his shed.
452
00:29:25,130 --> 00:29:26,848
How could I have
possibly surmised
453
00:29:26,849 --> 00:29:30,280
that the specimen and myself should
ultimately prove to be one and the same.
454
00:29:33,404 --> 00:29:34,404
At first...
455
00:29:34,775 --> 00:29:36,838
the transformation was fabulous.
456
00:29:37,272 --> 00:29:40,249
I truly understood the worm's
ethos like never before.
457
00:29:41,167 --> 00:29:43,596
But those early days
of fascination are over.
458
00:29:44,090 --> 00:29:48,301
Now in retrospect, I think the whole thing
is a fucking headache.
459
00:29:48,822 --> 00:29:52,178
I'd sell my soul just to be
able to wipe my own ass.
460
00:29:56,585 --> 00:29:59,808
Hmm— I first came here
as a tourist.
461
00:29:59,809 --> 00:30:02,132
Looking for some fun—
Nice place.
462
00:30:05,487 --> 00:30:07,833
Then Elijah turned me
into a sock.
463
00:30:10,743 --> 00:30:13,906
I'm sorry. I'm—I'm not
much for stories.
464
00:30:17,553 --> 00:30:19,266
When I first arrived here...
465
00:30:19,290 --> 00:30:21,103
I was nothing like I am now.
466
00:30:24,840 --> 00:30:26,230
I was confused—
467
00:30:26,762 --> 00:30:28,772
- A walking contradiction...
- All right.
468
00:30:28,773 --> 00:30:30,195
So full of questions.
469
00:30:30,305 --> 00:30:32,456
You know, you'd be better off
without a dick.
470
00:30:32,457 --> 00:30:35,220
Hey! You can keep the beard.
471
00:30:35,795 --> 00:30:38,076
Oh.
472
00:30:39,321 --> 00:30:40,793
Hallelujah!
473
00:30:41,196 --> 00:30:42,857
But now I know who I am.
474
00:30:42,858 --> 00:30:44,307
I can say it to the world:
475
00:30:44,331 --> 00:30:46,317
"Hey, this is me."
476
00:30:46,364 --> 00:30:48,937
"I am woman,
and I like me."
477
00:31:09,638 --> 00:31:11,909
Man, that's rough.
478
00:31:13,894 --> 00:31:16,974
You're one of us now, Rick,
whether you admit it or not.
479
00:31:17,439 --> 00:31:18,775
It's irrefutable.
480
00:31:21,407 --> 00:31:22,612
Hmm...
481
00:31:24,506 --> 00:31:28,144
Come on, you can do it. You can do it.
482
00:31:30,378 --> 00:31:31,378
Hey!
483
00:31:31,574 --> 00:31:33,375
- Mind your business!
- Sorry, sorry.
484
00:31:39,437 --> 00:31:40,538
- Wow!
- Ortiz.
485
00:31:40,539 --> 00:31:42,655
Ortiz, that's me.
That's me, Ortiz!
486
00:31:42,656 --> 00:31:44,833
Ortiz, Ortiz, you're on me.
487
00:31:44,834 --> 00:31:47,537
- Oh, oh, I am not cleaning this up.
- Oh jeez.
488
00:31:47,543 --> 00:31:49,049
Ortiz, down!
Get out—
489
00:31:49,217 --> 00:31:52,248
Well, those E.E.S. guys
should rescue me any minute...
490
00:31:52,541 --> 00:31:54,428
Then it's back
to sunny old L.A.
491
00:31:54,429 --> 00:31:56,482
and straight
to the plastic surgeon.
492
00:31:56,851 --> 00:32:00,029
I wonder how many of my
anatomically-correct girlfriends
493
00:32:00,030 --> 00:32:01,258
will be waiting for me.
494
00:32:01,282 --> 00:32:03,632
I'll be waiting for you, Rick!
495
00:32:03,633 --> 00:32:04,774
Thanks, Stuey.
496
00:32:05,637 --> 00:32:08,554
Ah! It's the troll!
497
00:32:09,297 --> 00:32:11,996
Go home!
What are you doing here?
498
00:32:12,271 --> 00:32:15,363
Seein' phantom trolls, Rick?
499
00:32:16,264 --> 00:32:17,217
Nope.
500
00:32:17,218 --> 00:32:20,563
Sounds to me like you've developed
a telepathic bond.
501
00:32:20,650 --> 00:32:22,413
Don't mean you're nuts
or nothing.
502
00:32:22,414 --> 00:32:25,718
Heck, old nosey, why,
he can smell the future.
503
00:32:26,025 --> 00:32:28,288
Lots of us freaks
got E.S.P.,
504
00:32:28,296 --> 00:32:30,906
and Sockhead,
he's got E.S.P.N.
505
00:32:30,982 --> 00:32:33,499
- Bodyslam the Hulk!
- Watch out, Hulkster!
506
00:32:33,500 --> 00:32:35,420
He's gonna try
the skull-cracker!
507
00:32:36,693 --> 00:32:39,132
Shucks, Rick, you're lucky.
508
00:32:39,133 --> 00:32:43,454
Telepathy like yours only occurs between
real soul mates.
509
00:32:43,455 --> 00:32:45,989
A bond like that
should be cherished.
510
00:32:45,990 --> 00:32:48,686
Wow, I'm Ricky Coogin's
soul mate!
511
00:32:48,687 --> 00:32:51,724
In your dreams!
Now get lost, troll.
512
00:32:51,725 --> 00:32:54,286
Wait till I tell the kids at school!
513
00:32:54,287 --> 00:32:56,892
- I love you, Rick.
- Shucks, Rick,
514
00:32:56,893 --> 00:32:59,757
it don't make sense
to spurn your soul mate.
515
00:33:00,049 --> 00:33:02,415
I reckon that troll
could help you,
516
00:33:02,416 --> 00:33:05,086
if you just
let him into your heart.
517
00:33:10,843 --> 00:33:13,290
Once America sees
what happened to Ricky,
518
00:33:13,291 --> 00:33:17,261
they'll probably send the whole F.B.I.
down to save him.
519
00:33:17,544 --> 00:33:20,855
I'll probably win a Pulitzer prize
for this scoop,
520
00:33:20,856 --> 00:33:23,023
and I'll dedicate it to Rick!
521
00:33:37,474 --> 00:33:38,895
Ow!
522
00:33:39,699 --> 00:33:42,795
Of course I'll print it!
America needs to know!
523
00:33:42,796 --> 00:33:46,102
Burt, give Mr. Gluck his fee and
show him the way out!
524
00:33:46,148 --> 00:33:48,276
That's okay!
I know the way out.
525
00:33:50,865 --> 00:33:53,981
"Freaky deaky!
Ricky Coogin's a mutant
526
00:33:53,982 --> 00:33:57,619
and in South America!"
By Stuartus Gluck."
527
00:33:57,964 --> 00:33:59,303
That's me!
528
00:34:01,488 --> 00:34:04,832
No, you've got it all wrong!
I don't know anything about that!
529
00:34:04,842 --> 00:34:07,898
You gotta believe me!
530
00:34:11,484 --> 00:34:13,335
Ladies and gentlemen!
531
00:34:13,855 --> 00:34:16,067
Get ready for the glamour!
532
00:34:16,229 --> 00:34:18,387
Get ready for the glitz!
533
00:34:18,388 --> 00:34:20,808
Get ready to pelt
the physically challenged
534
00:34:20,809 --> 00:34:22,577
with rotten vegetables,
535
00:34:22,727 --> 00:34:25,910
'cause it's showtime!
536
00:34:33,689 --> 00:34:36,282
Yeah, I bet you weigh about...
537
00:34:37,138 --> 00:34:39,345
107!
538
00:34:39,952 --> 00:34:43,327
A one, two, three...
539
00:34:57,420 --> 00:35:00,890
What keeping those
damn E.E.S. guys?
540
00:35:00,909 --> 00:35:03,896
Something's troubling you,
my boy. What is it?
541
00:35:04,844 --> 00:35:07,187
- Take a wild guess.
- Oh...
542
00:35:07,188 --> 00:35:09,416
I think I know
what you're going through.
543
00:35:09,417 --> 00:35:12,561
You see, I too had
an eating disorder.
544
00:35:17,516 --> 00:35:19,457
Quiet, please.
545
00:35:21,001 --> 00:35:21,928
Thank you.
546
00:35:21,929 --> 00:35:24,937
Ladies and gentlemen!
547
00:35:25,281 --> 00:35:27,700
Tonight, you are
about to witness
548
00:35:27,701 --> 00:35:29,871
a cavalcade of atrocities
549
00:35:29,872 --> 00:35:31,281
so horrific...
550
00:35:31,305 --> 00:35:33,582
that I advise
the more sensitive members
551
00:35:33,583 --> 00:35:37,880
of our audience
to leave the premises at this time.
552
00:35:42,651 --> 00:35:45,391
Tonight, I am proud to announce
553
00:35:45,392 --> 00:35:49,188
several new
and original monstrosities
554
00:35:49,189 --> 00:35:53,530
including our star attraction—
The Beast Boy!
555
00:35:53,531 --> 00:35:55,405
Ooh!
556
00:35:55,406 --> 00:35:56,410
But first!
557
00:35:56,434 --> 00:35:58,905
A perennial
favorite here at Freek Land.
558
00:35:58,906 --> 00:36:03,486
Sit back and snuggle up
to the musical stylings of...
559
00:36:03,487 --> 00:36:06,878
Rosie The Pinhead!
560
00:36:21,832 --> 00:36:23,489
Sing out, dear...
561
00:36:24,025 --> 00:36:25,666
from the diaphragm.
562
00:36:29,398 --> 00:36:30,803
- Hey, Julie,
563
00:36:30,804 --> 00:36:33,374
how many feminists
does it take to screw in a light bulb?
564
00:36:33,375 --> 00:36:35,073
- How many?
- Two...
565
00:36:35,074 --> 00:36:38,139
one to screw it in,
and one to ride my rodney!
566
00:36:38,140 --> 00:36:40,118
Oaf!
567
00:36:47,936 --> 00:36:49,266
Bravo!
568
00:36:52,175 --> 00:36:54,730
If your coloring is in
the autumn range like Maria,
569
00:36:54,731 --> 00:36:57,377
I would suggest you try
the earth-tone eye makeup.
570
00:36:57,384 --> 00:37:00,498
Now as you can see, I've done a lovely
french braid on Maria.
571
00:37:00,499 --> 00:37:04,219
But I encourage everyone
to experiment and use your imagination.
572
00:37:04,220 --> 00:37:06,559
The main thing is
just have fun with it.
573
00:37:10,707 --> 00:37:13,876
Feel good!
Wow! Yeah!
574
00:37:13,877 --> 00:37:16,972
Check this out, huh?!
575
00:37:17,463 --> 00:37:19,962
Hey! What?!
576
00:37:19,963 --> 00:37:22,914
Hey! That—
You piece of shit!
577
00:37:25,532 --> 00:37:29,473
All right! Way to go!
578
00:37:44,879 --> 00:37:48,625
Thank you! My people! Thank you.
579
00:37:48,626 --> 00:37:50,220
Thank you,
you've been a great crowd.
580
00:37:53,483 --> 00:37:56,995
- Oh!
- Hey, he's got a hand under there!
581
00:37:56,996 --> 00:37:58,171
- It's a hoax!
582
00:38:00,538 --> 00:38:04,546
Hey, come on!
Ooh! Ah!
583
00:38:05,999 --> 00:38:07,157
Bite me!
584
00:38:07,498 --> 00:38:09,428
Puppeteering is an admirable skill
585
00:38:09,429 --> 00:38:11,406
in it's own right, now...
586
00:38:11,677 --> 00:38:12,754
give him his due!
587
00:38:12,755 --> 00:38:14,770
Beast Boy! Beast Boy!
588
00:38:14,771 --> 00:38:17,081
Calm down! He'll be
out here in a moment!
589
00:38:17,169 --> 00:38:19,111
And when I won first prize,
590
00:38:19,112 --> 00:38:21,579
they never called me
pudding head again.
591
00:38:21,580 --> 00:38:23,533
- So?
- Don't you see?
592
00:38:23,534 --> 00:38:26,408
You must turn your hardship
into inspiration.
593
00:38:26,409 --> 00:38:27,787
You're an actor, Rick.
594
00:38:27,788 --> 00:38:30,390
Your body is your instrument,
and with it,
595
00:38:30,391 --> 00:38:33,577
you must play your tragic symphony
for all the world.
596
00:38:33,578 --> 00:38:35,165
They're going nuts
for you, beast boy.
597
00:38:35,166 --> 00:38:36,990
You better get out here now.
598
00:38:36,991 --> 00:38:38,387
I'll be right there.
599
00:38:39,123 --> 00:38:42,373
Thank you, Worm.
I don't know how to repay you for this.
600
00:38:42,374 --> 00:38:43,831
You could wipe my ass.
601
00:38:45,077 --> 00:38:47,953
What a comedian!
602
00:38:49,395 --> 00:38:50,405
Nosey...
603
00:38:50,585 --> 00:38:51,600
have I ever told you
604
00:38:51,601 --> 00:38:55,073
- what a gifted artist you are?
- Huh?
605
00:39:04,925 --> 00:39:06,127
Now...
606
00:39:06,547 --> 00:39:07,986
is the winter
607
00:39:08,480 --> 00:39:10,872
of our discontent.
608
00:39:11,607 --> 00:39:14,848
Made glorious summer
by this son of york.
609
00:39:14,849 --> 00:39:17,364
I didn't write this.
What is this crap?
610
00:39:17,365 --> 00:39:19,912
But I'm not shaped
for sport of tricks,
611
00:39:20,464 --> 00:39:23,658
nor made to court
an amorous looking glass.
612
00:39:24,329 --> 00:39:25,329
High—
613
00:39:26,086 --> 00:39:27,196
{\an8}If you're having trouble
614
00:39:27,197 --> 00:39:29,575
{\an8}understanding Mr. Coogin's
brilliant reading
615
00:39:29,576 --> 00:39:31,904
{\an8}of the soliloquy
from Richard III,
616
00:39:31,905 --> 00:39:33,243
please take advantage
617
00:39:33,244 --> 00:39:36,435
of the handy subtitles
for the culturally illiterate.
618
00:39:36,436 --> 00:39:38,091
- Shh!
- Wild figure...
619
00:39:38,651 --> 00:39:39,999
Deformed,
620
00:39:40,434 --> 00:39:42,945
sent before my time
621
00:39:43,473 --> 00:39:45,570
into this breathing world,
622
00:39:45,571 --> 00:39:47,696
{\an8}scarce half made up.
623
00:39:50,001 --> 00:39:52,115
Why I...
624
00:39:52,567 --> 00:39:55,826
in this weak piping
time of peace
625
00:39:57,252 --> 00:39:58,948
have no delight
626
00:39:59,139 --> 00:40:01,164
{\an8}to pass away the time?
627
00:40:08,702 --> 00:40:09,791
Thank you!
628
00:40:19,661 --> 00:40:22,814
- Beautiful!
- Thank you, thank you.
629
00:40:22,815 --> 00:40:24,586
They seem to like it.
630
00:40:34,226 --> 00:40:35,966
My God.
631
00:40:36,293 --> 00:40:37,636
Too kind.
632
00:40:37,661 --> 00:40:39,994
- It is him.
- Yes!
633
00:40:41,560 --> 00:40:44,681
Thank God for E.E.S.!
634
00:40:45,552 --> 00:40:46,689
Oh, yeah, yeah, Rick.
Look, look.
635
00:40:46,690 --> 00:40:50,873
I— I really love this new look
you've got going for yourself.
636
00:40:50,878 --> 00:40:54,174
It's fresh, it's hip,
the kids will love it,
637
00:40:54,175 --> 00:40:58,612
but back at E.E.S., I don't think the
big boys upstairs are gonna get it.
638
00:40:59,141 --> 00:41:01,832
- What are you saying?
- Well, Rick, what I'm...
639
00:41:01,833 --> 00:41:03,694
trying to say is th-that...
640
00:41:03,718 --> 00:41:04,969
well, um...
641
00:41:05,389 --> 00:41:09,593
you're ugly enough
to burn the nose hairs off a dead nun.
642
00:41:21,276 --> 00:41:23,100
What a putz!
643
00:41:33,289 --> 00:41:35,054
Eat shit!
644
00:41:38,662 --> 00:41:39,976
Rick...
645
00:41:40,000 --> 00:41:41,730
now you're just being childish.
646
00:41:45,243 --> 00:41:47,403
Run for your lives!
647
00:41:52,910 --> 00:41:56,287
What's the matter?
Afraid of a little rough stuff?
648
00:41:56,447 --> 00:41:59,727
Welcome to show
business, morons!
649
00:41:59,728 --> 00:42:01,103
You're all going to hell.
650
00:42:17,511 --> 00:42:20,386
Now that's entertainment.
651
00:42:29,286 --> 00:42:30,933
Gotta get the hell out of here.
652
00:42:34,151 --> 00:42:35,947
That's against the law.
653
00:42:43,320 --> 00:42:45,963
Psst. Hey, you, milkman.
654
00:42:46,720 --> 00:42:47,327
Me?
655
00:42:47,328 --> 00:42:49,852
Yeah, you. I've got
something to show you.
656
00:42:51,708 --> 00:42:53,714
Come around to this
little trapdoor.
657
00:42:58,224 --> 00:43:00,262
- What is it?
- I've just laid a turd
658
00:43:00,263 --> 00:43:02,405
that's the spittin' image
of Kim Basinger.
659
00:43:02,430 --> 00:43:04,832
Boy, if I had a dime
for every time I heard that.
660
00:43:04,833 --> 00:43:06,876
- She's naked, too.
- Really?
661
00:43:09,292 --> 00:43:10,718
This I gotta see.
662
00:43:18,524 --> 00:43:20,488
Nah, that's just a regular turd.
663
00:43:20,489 --> 00:43:22,138
Looks kind of like
Winona Rider, but—
664
00:43:22,139 --> 00:43:23,479
Oof.
665
00:43:42,321 --> 00:43:43,414
Shit!
666
00:43:58,296 --> 00:43:59,477
Damn eyes!
667
00:44:03,081 --> 00:44:04,230
Damn lock.
668
00:44:08,346 --> 00:44:10,047
The Club!
669
00:44:11,430 --> 00:44:12,693
What the hell?
670
00:44:16,591 --> 00:44:20,090
Stop in the name
of Haile M. Selassie.
671
00:44:20,175 --> 00:44:23,729
Don't move, milkman, yeah.
672
00:44:23,730 --> 00:44:25,542
Good work, Eye and Eye.
673
00:44:25,543 --> 00:44:28,402
Rastafar-eye.
674
00:44:28,403 --> 00:44:30,251
Now send the Beast Boy
675
00:44:30,252 --> 00:44:31,527
to my...
676
00:44:32,309 --> 00:44:33,309
den.
677
00:44:35,699 --> 00:44:37,563
Go to the den, mon.
678
00:44:37,572 --> 00:44:38,985
Them go in, them never come out.
679
00:44:38,986 --> 00:44:41,044
Yeah, mon,
into the den with you.
680
00:44:53,723 --> 00:44:54,896
Diet soda?
681
00:44:55,468 --> 00:44:57,788
- No thanks.
- Fiddle faddle?
682
00:44:58,599 --> 00:45:00,166
All right.
683
00:45:06,972 --> 00:45:08,567
Mmm, delicious.
684
00:45:10,141 --> 00:45:11,141
So...
685
00:45:11,552 --> 00:45:14,086
aren't you gonna
kill me or something?
686
00:45:14,795 --> 00:45:16,745
Sure, it'd be fun, but...
687
00:45:16,746 --> 00:45:18,317
The Beast Boy's a hit!
688
00:45:18,340 --> 00:45:20,019
Look, Elijah...
689
00:45:20,033 --> 00:45:22,199
I've been in show business
all my life.
690
00:45:22,200 --> 00:45:26,691
The public does not wanna see
disgusting, depraved, violent filth.
691
00:45:26,692 --> 00:45:27,692
Oh...?
692
00:45:27,943 --> 00:45:30,925
And I suppose "Jake and The Fat Man"
was just a fluke!
693
00:45:34,377 --> 00:45:37,130
Hello.
694
00:45:37,805 --> 00:45:41,997
Listen, I'm all set to roll here.
695
00:45:42,553 --> 00:45:44,611
You've got it.
696
00:45:46,973 --> 00:45:49,173
Ciao to you too.
697
00:45:50,947 --> 00:45:53,182
Jolly son of a bitch.
698
00:45:53,710 --> 00:45:56,749
We'll see who has the last laugh,
you jerk-off.
699
00:45:56,750 --> 00:45:58,705
All right, Coogin.
700
00:45:58,939 --> 00:45:59,919
- Listen up.
- Hmm?
701
00:45:59,920 --> 00:46:03,687
You're gonna be a hideous
killing machine.
702
00:46:03,688 --> 00:46:06,854
Tomorrow night I'm gonna finish
the job onstage,
703
00:46:07,095 --> 00:46:09,486
and then you're gonna slaughter
all the old freaks
704
00:46:09,487 --> 00:46:12,990
and from their ashes
you'll rise...
705
00:46:13,308 --> 00:46:15,160
like a mighty phoenix...
706
00:46:15,360 --> 00:46:16,676
only a lot uglier...
707
00:46:16,815 --> 00:46:18,872
and then the whole world will...
708
00:46:18,958 --> 00:46:20,558
Hey!
709
00:46:20,559 --> 00:46:23,026
I told you, enough!
710
00:46:23,908 --> 00:46:26,315
So Elijah was going
to send you to Phoenix?
711
00:46:26,482 --> 00:46:29,631
No, he was talking
about a huge bird.
712
00:46:29,799 --> 00:46:32,617
The mythical creature?
It's just a metaphor.
713
00:46:32,895 --> 00:46:33,895
Oh.
714
00:46:34,074 --> 00:46:34,752
The point is...
715
00:46:34,753 --> 00:46:37,220
Elijah wanted to turn me
into a blood-thirsty monster
716
00:46:37,221 --> 00:46:39,235
and have me kill
all my fellow freaks.
717
00:46:39,387 --> 00:46:42,581
But what he didn't know was that I left
his den with an important clue.
718
00:46:48,878 --> 00:46:50,672
Hmm... yeah!
719
00:46:53,242 --> 00:46:55,592
Come back!
720
00:47:00,037 --> 00:47:02,002
Look, another milkman!
721
00:47:04,019 --> 00:47:07,424
Hey, Rick, couldn't you come up
with your own escape plan?
722
00:47:07,425 --> 00:47:08,960
You gotta be kidding me.
723
00:47:08,961 --> 00:47:10,602
A dozen milkmen?
724
00:47:10,603 --> 00:47:12,586
Isn't that a little unusual?
725
00:47:12,587 --> 00:47:15,328
12 milkmen is
theoretically possible.
726
00:47:15,329 --> 00:47:18,514
- Yeah! Yeah!
- 13 is silly.
727
00:47:18,515 --> 00:47:19,120
Silly!
728
00:47:19,144 --> 00:47:20,737
Looks like one milkman
729
00:47:20,761 --> 00:47:23,137
too many, Coogin!
730
00:47:23,642 --> 00:47:25,714
- Freaks!
- Fine then!
731
00:47:25,736 --> 00:47:27,087
Go ahead!
732
00:47:27,519 --> 00:47:30,311
Hope you like reggae,
you flea-bitten bastard.
733
00:47:30,631 --> 00:47:32,389
Be very quiet.
734
00:47:35,318 --> 00:47:37,116
Ah shit.
735
00:47:37,966 --> 00:47:40,121
Look, you'll all be killed.
736
00:47:40,122 --> 00:47:43,830
You don't know about Elijah's
giant rasta eyeballs with machine guns!
737
00:47:43,831 --> 00:47:45,100
Poor boy's gone off the deep end.
738
00:47:45,124 --> 00:47:46,637
It's suicide,
739
00:47:46,638 --> 00:47:48,186
and I can't let you do it!
740
00:47:48,187 --> 00:47:51,535
And I cannot let you stop us.
741
00:47:54,013 --> 00:47:56,027
Come on, Ortiz.
742
00:47:56,269 --> 00:47:57,786
Come on, you little pansy.
743
00:47:57,787 --> 00:48:00,234
Be careful, he's
rabid, he's a rabid dog!
744
00:48:01,199 --> 00:48:04,040
- Stick and move. Stick and move!
- Really swift!
745
00:48:04,048 --> 00:48:06,660
You're gonna poke an eye out!
746
00:48:09,209 --> 00:48:11,438
Kill him!
Sorry.
747
00:48:13,332 --> 00:48:16,455
That's a lot of milkmen
on the same route.
748
00:48:16,649 --> 00:48:18,595
No wonder they fight.
749
00:48:31,035 --> 00:48:32,358
Squirrel!
750
00:48:37,273 --> 00:48:40,913
- Yah, rastafar-eye!
- Holy shit!
751
00:48:41,223 --> 00:48:44,858
Two giant rasta eyeballs
just like Rick said.
752
00:48:50,816 --> 00:48:52,651
Gosh, if it wasn't for Rick,
753
00:48:52,962 --> 00:48:54,780
we'd all be dead.
754
00:48:54,781 --> 00:48:57,810
Hey! Thanks. Ricky's good.
755
00:48:57,826 --> 00:48:59,551
- Yeah!
- Much obliged.
756
00:48:59,740 --> 00:49:01,376
Come on, you heard
the Beast Boy,
757
00:49:01,377 --> 00:49:03,758
- back to the freak house.
- Yeah!
758
00:49:05,597 --> 00:49:06,933
- Um...
- Now!
759
00:49:06,934 --> 00:49:07,934
Ah!
760
00:49:08,321 --> 00:49:10,403
All I wanted was a hug.
761
00:49:11,022 --> 00:49:13,205
Maybe I was wrong
about you, Coogin.
762
00:49:16,934 --> 00:49:19,750
Not again!
763
00:49:20,666 --> 00:49:23,955
Oh, well, at least we'll
get to try a new position.
764
00:49:24,125 --> 00:49:26,749
Says it's strong enough for a man!
765
00:49:26,750 --> 00:49:29,672
- But it's made for a woman!
- Give me!
766
00:49:29,710 --> 00:49:31,422
Hey!
767
00:49:31,655 --> 00:49:32,655
Rick.
768
00:49:32,880 --> 00:49:34,631
- What's up?
- Read this.
769
00:49:34,645 --> 00:49:36,826
I grabbed it from Skuggs' den.
770
00:49:37,489 --> 00:49:40,254
"Buy more fiddle faddle,
tape Donahue,
771
00:49:40,255 --> 00:49:42,301
renew subscription
to Beaver World."
772
00:49:42,302 --> 00:49:44,207
Beaver world?!
Let me see that?
773
00:49:45,782 --> 00:49:47,308
After that.
774
00:49:48,916 --> 00:49:50,957
"Prepare demonstration
for Laughing Man,
775
00:49:50,958 --> 00:49:54,246
receive 5,000 barrels
of Zygrot-24"?!
776
00:49:54,633 --> 00:49:56,565
Elijah's up for something big.
777
00:49:56,566 --> 00:49:57,969
We have to stop him.
778
00:49:58,867 --> 00:50:00,696
We're done for!
We're done for!
779
00:50:00,697 --> 00:50:03,088
I don't wanna die!
It's the end of the world!
780
00:50:03,089 --> 00:50:05,855
The apocalypse!
781
00:50:05,978 --> 00:50:07,784
I haven't said anything yet.
782
00:50:07,808 --> 00:50:10,935
Sorry. I'm—I'm not much for timing.
783
00:50:12,142 --> 00:50:13,257
Look,
784
00:50:15,776 --> 00:50:18,225
I'll be turned
into an evil superfreak
785
00:50:18,235 --> 00:50:20,169
and forced to kill you all,
786
00:50:20,649 --> 00:50:23,420
but we might have a chance
if we act fast.
787
00:50:23,743 --> 00:50:25,689
And I'm prepared to be...
788
00:50:25,965 --> 00:50:27,861
your new leader.
789
00:50:28,554 --> 00:50:30,631
- I say we kill him.
- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
790
00:50:30,663 --> 00:50:33,694
And I've got a plan!
791
00:50:34,044 --> 00:50:36,543
- I still say we kill him!
- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
792
00:50:36,544 --> 00:50:38,658
If we can just get
to Elijah's lab,
793
00:50:38,663 --> 00:50:40,222
- maybe we can—
- Of course!
794
00:50:40,497 --> 00:50:43,286
Design an ointment to turn you
into a good superfreak
795
00:50:43,287 --> 00:50:47,098
and program it to make you destroy
Elijah instead of us!
796
00:50:47,614 --> 00:50:49,559
- Brilliant!
- Oh.
797
00:50:49,560 --> 00:50:51,947
- Well, actually, I was—
- How do we get to the lab?
798
00:50:52,002 --> 00:50:55,284
- Uh—
- Right, the Worm can dig a tunnel.
799
00:50:55,570 --> 00:50:58,008
My god, it's so crazy
it just might work.
800
00:50:58,009 --> 00:51:00,305
But you need Zygrot-24
to make the freak sludge
801
00:51:00,315 --> 00:51:01,616
and Elijah told us himself
802
00:51:01,617 --> 00:51:04,122
- he's run out of it.
- Oh! Oh, yeah.
803
00:51:04,129 --> 00:51:06,534
- Well, what if we just—
- Yes, exactly!
804
00:51:06,535 --> 00:51:09,245
If they've been using Zygrot-24 as a
fertilizer around here,
805
00:51:09,246 --> 00:51:11,287
then the entire ecosystem
must be soaked with it.
806
00:51:11,288 --> 00:51:13,867
All we need is a way to extract it
from the vegetation.
807
00:51:13,868 --> 00:51:15,866
- Ideally in a liquid form.
- Right.
808
00:51:15,867 --> 00:51:20,624
Golly! So that's why my milk comes out
that weird blue color.
809
00:51:20,625 --> 00:51:23,199
I thought the grass
tasted funny.
810
00:51:23,642 --> 00:51:27,413
- Wow, Rick, you're a genius!
811
00:51:27,429 --> 00:51:29,004
- All right.
- Good thinking, Rick!
812
00:51:31,653 --> 00:51:34,645
That's cool, Rick.
Tell me, how do you think of such a plan?
813
00:51:35,409 --> 00:51:37,327
Well... actually,
814
00:51:37,581 --> 00:51:40,314
I was gonna suggest
we send away for sea monkeys,
815
00:51:40,315 --> 00:51:42,879
train them to fire guns
and make a break for it.
816
00:51:43,899 --> 00:51:47,783
But if you— if you wanna go with this
good superfreak thing, I...
817
00:51:48,208 --> 00:51:49,571
I guess that's okay.
818
00:52:22,826 --> 00:52:26,112
Hey! Turn off
that goddamn music!
819
00:52:30,549 --> 00:52:33,701
Sorry!
820
00:52:33,728 --> 00:52:36,127
What a jerk!
821
00:52:50,370 --> 00:52:52,117
I hate it when you do that.
822
00:53:00,821 --> 00:53:03,442
- Hey, look at this.
- What?
823
00:53:09,611 --> 00:53:14,001
Good lord, it's the lost city
of Nod!
824
00:53:14,002 --> 00:53:15,832
Wow!
825
00:53:17,531 --> 00:53:21,280
- It's old faithful.
- Ooh!
826
00:53:23,639 --> 00:53:26,168
- It's my aunt Gertie and uncle Sid.
- Oh.
827
00:53:27,090 --> 00:53:30,369
- It's my bar mitzvah!
- Come on, Ernie, let's go.
828
00:53:30,394 --> 00:53:31,665
Wait, wait. You gotta see
the one
829
00:53:31,666 --> 00:53:34,853
where Rabbi Katz laughed so hard
noodle pudding came out his nose.
830
00:53:34,854 --> 00:53:35,854
- It was—
- Stooge!
831
00:53:43,780 --> 00:53:45,345
Nice digging, Worm.
832
00:53:48,465 --> 00:53:50,348
Back off, okay?
833
00:53:50,364 --> 00:53:53,300
I have got a real short fuse today.
I am cranky,
834
00:53:53,301 --> 00:53:55,913
I am bloated and I have
a wicked case of cramps.
835
00:53:55,914 --> 00:53:57,181
Don't ask why!
836
00:53:57,205 --> 00:53:58,530
PMS?
837
00:53:59,146 --> 00:54:01,143
Caught ya, freaks!
838
00:54:01,409 --> 00:54:04,897
Ha, I fooled you. You didn't know
I did impressions, did you?
839
00:54:07,078 --> 00:54:09,117
Hey, guys, mission accomplished.
840
00:54:09,118 --> 00:54:12,007
They've got the Zygrot-24 and they've
broken through into the lab.
841
00:54:16,525 --> 00:54:18,751
No! Can't you see?!
842
00:54:18,757 --> 00:54:20,834
We're digging our own grave!
It's nuts!
843
00:54:20,835 --> 00:54:23,803
That's what it is, nuts!
Well maybe you've all got a death wish,
844
00:54:23,804 --> 00:54:26,843
but you can count me out!
I'm getting the hell out of here!
845
00:54:36,910 --> 00:54:39,943
Nobody move, nobody get hurt.
846
00:54:43,910 --> 00:54:45,721
Out of my way!
847
00:55:01,732 --> 00:55:03,846
Dat sock full of holes, mon.
848
00:55:10,214 --> 00:55:11,665
What a mess.
849
00:55:16,215 --> 00:55:18,954
I just want to say...
850
00:55:20,536 --> 00:55:22,063
What is it, kid?
851
00:55:23,739 --> 00:55:25,739
Aw, forget it.
852
00:55:25,955 --> 00:55:28,680
I'm not much for dying.
853
00:55:30,244 --> 00:55:32,654
Aw, he's better off.
854
00:55:33,463 --> 00:55:34,888
It's a blessing.
855
00:55:38,916 --> 00:55:41,273
I've hacked into Elijah's
superfreak program.
856
00:55:41,963 --> 00:55:44,468
My God, it's complex.
857
00:55:48,051 --> 00:55:50,229
Okay, guys,
we've got a job to do.
858
00:55:50,230 --> 00:55:53,075
Let's do it
and keep quiet, okay?
859
00:56:10,027 --> 00:56:11,404
Oops.
860
00:56:11,949 --> 00:56:14,126
Now look, from now on,
861
00:56:14,127 --> 00:56:16,278
no more screw-ups, okay?
862
00:56:19,589 --> 00:56:21,723
Styrofoam cup?
863
00:56:29,141 --> 00:56:31,312
Here it comes. It's working.
864
00:56:33,770 --> 00:56:35,084
Somebody's comin'.
865
00:56:38,547 --> 00:56:40,092
It's plugged up.
866
00:56:40,093 --> 00:56:42,969
This is your fault.
I will wring your wormy neck!
867
00:56:43,117 --> 00:56:45,030
Preposterous!
I have no neck,
868
00:56:45,031 --> 00:56:46,842
I'm a worm, imbecile!
869
00:56:55,584 --> 00:56:57,039
God damn!
870
00:56:57,586 --> 00:56:59,677
Buttered popcorn on my...
871
00:57:05,662 --> 00:57:08,148
The tunnel walls are
about to collapse!
872
00:57:08,832 --> 00:57:10,471
You go ahead. I'll catch up.
873
00:57:10,472 --> 00:57:12,125
- But Rick—
- Go!
874
00:57:12,126 --> 00:57:14,892
Yeah, go.
I'll stay here with Rick.
875
00:57:14,897 --> 00:57:16,731
Come on, let's...
876
00:57:42,442 --> 00:57:43,442
Hmm.
877
00:57:52,683 --> 00:57:55,332
Bad for the environment.
878
00:58:00,784 --> 00:58:01,896
I think I see him!
879
00:58:01,897 --> 00:58:03,813
- It's close.
- Rick!
880
00:58:03,823 --> 00:58:06,549
Come on, Rick!
881
00:58:07,532 --> 00:58:11,109
- Just made it.
- Okay, everybody, listen up.
882
00:58:11,639 --> 00:58:13,913
Now, we cracked the code and made
the ointment we need
883
00:58:13,938 --> 00:58:17,299
- to bring Skuggs down for good.
- All right!
884
00:58:17,300 --> 00:58:20,569
But... I left it in the lab.
885
00:58:22,409 --> 00:58:24,722
Wait! Wait! Wait!
886
00:58:24,875 --> 00:58:27,979
I found some macaroons
and there's plenty for all of us!
887
00:58:31,357 --> 00:58:33,642
I hate macaroons.
888
00:59:00,087 --> 00:59:03,760
E.E.S. is in bed
with Elijah C. Skuggs.
889
00:59:07,020 --> 00:59:09,136
Damn!
890
00:59:10,721 --> 00:59:12,918
It's nice to see you
in the flesh...
891
00:59:13,197 --> 00:59:14,375
Laughing Man.
892
00:59:15,766 --> 00:59:18,367
I think we can dispense
with the codenames, Elijah.
893
00:59:18,368 --> 00:59:19,685
We're all friends here.
894
00:59:21,272 --> 00:59:23,459
And to prove it,
we brought you a little present.
895
00:59:27,895 --> 00:59:30,667
- Rick, is that you?!
- Who's the troll?
896
00:59:30,668 --> 00:59:32,593
He was asking
questions about Coogin,
897
00:59:32,594 --> 00:59:34,650
causing trouble.
We figured he was one of yours.
898
00:59:34,654 --> 00:59:37,925
Well, I make freaks, all right,
but come on, fellas,
899
00:59:37,926 --> 00:59:39,325
this thing is pathetic!
900
00:59:39,349 --> 00:59:43,271
Well you're no Julio Iglesias
yourself, mister!
901
00:59:44,957 --> 00:59:46,819
Rick!
902
00:59:47,971 --> 00:59:50,446
Oh no, not now, Stuey!
903
00:59:51,291 --> 00:59:54,008
Hey, where are you?
904
00:59:54,023 --> 00:59:56,338
I'm in the lab!
I'm in the lab!
905
00:59:56,339 --> 00:59:59,612
- I'm in the lab!
- Not only ugly, he's...
906
01:00:00,090 --> 01:00:01,419
crazy too.
907
01:00:01,834 --> 01:00:02,974
Toad.
908
01:00:17,230 --> 01:00:18,287
Gentlemen...
909
01:00:19,206 --> 01:00:20,962
I'm not gonna bullshit you.
910
01:00:21,897 --> 01:00:24,135
I know my setup
here at Freek Land
911
01:00:24,136 --> 01:00:26,745
looks like small potatoes,
912
01:00:27,266 --> 01:00:30,477
but thanks to your Zygrot-24
and my genius
913
01:00:30,478 --> 01:00:33,789
tonight, I'm gonna turn Ricky Coogin
into a freak so hideous,
914
01:00:33,790 --> 01:00:36,504
it'll be enough to make your stomach
turn inside-out,
915
01:00:36,505 --> 01:00:38,798
it'll boil your brain
in its own juices
916
01:00:38,799 --> 01:00:41,162
and it'll make a cold sore that you
thought had healed up
917
01:00:41,163 --> 01:00:44,133
- starts bugging you again.
- Hmm.
918
01:00:44,583 --> 01:00:47,623
It's the dawning of a new age.
919
01:00:47,624 --> 01:00:49,489
A new beginning!
920
01:00:50,511 --> 01:00:52,134
Behold!
921
01:00:52,511 --> 01:00:57,506
Supra-mega Freek World!
922
01:01:00,048 --> 01:01:01,712
It's really something, huh?
923
01:01:04,976 --> 01:01:06,652
Very impressive.
924
01:01:07,427 --> 01:01:10,294
We'll kick Disney's dead ass.
925
01:01:10,893 --> 01:01:13,658
Stuey. Stuey,
can you hear me?
926
01:01:13,659 --> 01:01:16,752
I want you to try and escape.
927
01:01:16,753 --> 01:01:19,063
Bring me the can on the floor near
the blast furnace.
928
01:01:19,165 --> 01:01:21,074
I like your spirit, Skuggs,
929
01:01:21,437 --> 01:01:23,095
but Disney?
Come on.
930
01:01:23,461 --> 01:01:24,589
I like "Bambi."
931
01:01:24,613 --> 01:01:25,953
"Bambi" sucked.
932
01:01:25,954 --> 01:01:27,851
What about the part
where the mother got shot?
933
01:01:27,852 --> 01:01:29,971
Yeah—yeah I liked that part.
934
01:01:29,972 --> 01:01:32,035
- Well, I liked it too.
- Yeah.
935
01:01:36,902 --> 01:01:39,386
We here at E.E.S.
have plans
936
01:01:39,387 --> 01:01:41,432
for your gene machine
that include everything.
937
01:01:41,433 --> 01:01:44,340
- Hmm?
- Well, everything except shoes, of course.
938
01:01:47,996 --> 01:01:50,447
Oh, I'd love to see your plans.
939
01:01:51,117 --> 01:01:53,180
Well, I'd love
to show 'em to you.
940
01:01:53,591 --> 01:01:55,968
Bill, would you do the honors?
941
01:02:08,446 --> 01:02:11,684
What does today's
businessman want?
942
01:02:12,095 --> 01:02:13,183
Well...
943
01:02:14,255 --> 01:02:15,715
How about a receptionist
944
01:02:15,716 --> 01:02:19,705
with six arms, three mouths
and a knockout figure?
945
01:02:19,706 --> 01:02:21,940
That would sure speed things up,
wouldn't it?
946
01:02:22,214 --> 01:02:23,826
Or, down at the factory,
947
01:02:23,827 --> 01:02:25,862
how do we fight
the rising problem
948
01:02:25,863 --> 01:02:28,906
of sagging productivity
from lazy workers?
949
01:02:29,261 --> 01:02:32,504
How about a worker
with 12 busy hands,
950
01:02:32,505 --> 01:02:35,021
no mouth to talk back,
no genitalia
951
01:02:35,022 --> 01:02:37,930
or gastro-intestinal system
to distract him from his work?
952
01:02:37,931 --> 01:02:41,226
Sure, it's what we all dream about,
isn't it?
953
01:02:41,340 --> 01:02:45,485
Well, with this Skuggs-based
Zygrot technology,
954
01:02:45,486 --> 01:02:47,483
these things
are not only possible,
955
01:02:47,689 --> 01:02:50,102
they are only the beginning.
956
01:02:50,103 --> 01:02:51,703
We're poised on the edge
957
01:02:51,704 --> 01:02:52,851
of a new frontier
958
01:02:52,852 --> 01:02:55,287
limited only
by our imaginations.
959
01:02:56,085 --> 01:03:00,222
Of course, what happened to our
expensive spokesman Ricky Coogin
960
01:03:00,223 --> 01:03:02,370
was an unfortunate coincidence.
961
01:03:02,554 --> 01:03:05,434
On the other hand,
profits from these new markets
962
01:03:05,880 --> 01:03:08,365
could total in the billions.
963
01:03:08,967 --> 01:03:10,329
Ricky who?
964
01:03:14,160 --> 01:03:15,089
Hey!
965
01:03:15,113 --> 01:03:16,117
Now hold on.
966
01:03:16,433 --> 01:03:19,663
Secretaries, worker drones...
967
01:03:19,895 --> 01:03:21,266
where's the fun, huh?
968
01:03:21,267 --> 01:03:23,029
Where— where's the spark?
969
01:03:23,450 --> 01:03:25,869
Where's the—
The unspeakable evil?
970
01:03:26,058 --> 01:03:27,769
I was just getting to that.
971
01:03:27,770 --> 01:03:30,173
We are gonna impact
every field...
972
01:03:30,174 --> 01:03:33,157
cosmetics, military,
novelty house pets.
973
01:03:33,158 --> 01:03:35,492
And why should we stop
at consumer products?
974
01:03:35,493 --> 01:03:38,120
Hell, we can design
a whole new consumer.
975
01:03:38,186 --> 01:03:41,600
A few well-placed drops in the
water supply and bingo!
976
01:03:41,798 --> 01:03:43,841
It's a whole new master race,
977
01:03:44,132 --> 01:03:46,191
and we own the copyright!
978
01:03:46,207 --> 01:03:48,204
This guy is good.
979
01:03:48,510 --> 01:03:50,706
We lured him away from Pepsi.
980
01:03:50,707 --> 01:03:53,121
Right here, right now,
981
01:03:53,122 --> 01:03:55,245
we are building
a better tomorrow
982
01:03:55,246 --> 01:03:59,304
for those who uphold
the vision of E.E.S.!
983
01:03:59,338 --> 01:04:01,806
Bill, if I could
just add one thing?
984
01:04:02,856 --> 01:04:04,459
Those who dare oppose us
985
01:04:04,460 --> 01:04:08,217
will stand knee-deep in the blood
of their children.
986
01:04:20,267 --> 01:04:21,734
And now
987
01:04:21,735 --> 01:04:23,906
the moment
you've all been waiting for,
988
01:04:23,907 --> 01:04:25,613
ladies and gentlemen,
989
01:04:25,767 --> 01:04:28,325
the Beast Boy!
990
01:04:33,713 --> 01:04:34,829
Rick!
991
01:04:35,830 --> 01:04:38,330
- Over here, Rick!
- Where?
992
01:04:38,383 --> 01:04:42,215
With this remarkable
ointment of my own design,
993
01:04:42,216 --> 01:04:46,126
I am going to transform
this half-finished ghoul
994
01:04:46,127 --> 01:04:49,901
into the ultimate
stomach-turning superfreak
995
01:04:50,153 --> 01:04:52,802
dedicated to evil.
996
01:04:53,728 --> 01:04:54,892
Here I am, Rick!
997
01:04:54,893 --> 01:04:57,232
Goddamn it, kid,
would you sit down?
998
01:05:01,499 --> 01:05:05,028
- Oh no!
- Aw shit. Move down.
999
01:05:06,764 --> 01:05:08,600
What the hell?
1000
01:05:10,770 --> 01:05:13,190
You got a problem, mister?
1001
01:05:19,148 --> 01:05:21,980
Yah!
1002
01:05:23,503 --> 01:05:26,339
Your ass is mine, Skuggs!
1003
01:05:26,503 --> 01:05:28,739
This kid looks pissed.
1004
01:05:30,118 --> 01:05:32,211
Eye and Eye, kill him!
1005
01:05:32,212 --> 01:05:36,162
Ugly, ugly, ugly boy.
1006
01:05:36,165 --> 01:05:38,637
Big ugly boy.
1007
01:05:42,007 --> 01:05:43,595
Damn my eyes!
1008
01:05:44,262 --> 01:05:46,045
- Toad!
- What?
1009
01:05:48,080 --> 01:05:50,728
Ooh, I'm shakin'!
1010
01:05:50,729 --> 01:05:52,504
Ah! Help!
1011
01:05:55,807 --> 01:05:56,807
Huh?
1012
01:05:59,213 --> 01:06:00,940
Shit.
1013
01:06:06,800 --> 01:06:09,995
Help! I'm in a zoo!
1014
01:06:13,717 --> 01:06:16,121
It looks like it's time
to bring out the big gun.
1015
01:06:16,746 --> 01:06:18,793
- Sayonara, kiddo.
- No!
1016
01:06:23,332 --> 01:06:24,332
Rick!
1017
01:06:32,841 --> 01:06:34,923
What a waste of 12 bucks.
1018
01:06:35,378 --> 01:06:36,895
Let's get the machine and go.
1019
01:06:38,008 --> 01:06:40,354
- Come on!
- Right now!
1020
01:06:40,643 --> 01:06:43,033
Wait, Rick! Could you
sign this first?
1021
01:06:43,034 --> 01:06:45,069
Time to die, troll!
1022
01:06:45,903 --> 01:06:47,785
Fight! Fight! Fight!
1023
01:06:47,786 --> 01:06:50,238
Let's go, dickhead!
1024
01:07:04,136 --> 01:07:06,368
Give him the skull cracker,
you big oaf!
1025
01:07:06,431 --> 01:07:09,117
No way!
The skull cracker is an illegal move!
1026
01:07:09,429 --> 01:07:10,156
Ooh!
1027
01:07:10,249 --> 01:07:12,346
I'm number one!
1028
01:07:12,370 --> 01:07:14,286
I'm number one!
1029
01:07:14,309 --> 01:07:17,208
I'm betting my
bar mitzvah money!
1030
01:07:17,216 --> 01:07:19,863
Let's get this over with.
Hey, Dick!
1031
01:07:24,472 --> 01:07:26,021
What the hell are you doing?
1032
01:07:26,983 --> 01:07:29,278
This machine is now
the sole property
1033
01:07:29,303 --> 01:07:31,666
of the Everything
Except Shoes corporation.
1034
01:07:31,667 --> 01:07:34,278
- What?!
- Eat shit, yokel.
1035
01:07:38,703 --> 01:07:42,158
I knew I couldn't trust
you corporate greaseballs!
1036
01:07:47,264 --> 01:07:49,281
Move that thing!
1037
01:07:50,522 --> 01:07:52,641
Eat this, Dick!
1038
01:07:57,573 --> 01:08:00,738
Head for the hills!
Before he gets all of us!
1039
01:08:03,244 --> 01:08:04,519
Oof! Ow!
1040
01:08:04,520 --> 01:08:07,673
Boy, I haven't seen
a stampede like this
1041
01:08:07,674 --> 01:08:10,387
since the opening night
of "Ishtar!"
1042
01:08:18,742 --> 01:08:21,873
Now, I rip freaks to pieces!
1043
01:08:21,874 --> 01:08:25,000
Kill Nosey! You always hated Nosey!
1044
01:08:30,973 --> 01:08:33,730
Please! Rick, no, Rick!
1045
01:08:33,731 --> 01:08:34,989
Please!
1046
01:08:35,010 --> 01:08:36,370
Oof. What the...
1047
01:08:43,965 --> 01:08:47,150
Now that's a really big shoe.
1048
01:08:54,129 --> 01:08:55,257
Rick.
1049
01:08:55,258 --> 01:08:57,479
Would you kill him, please?
1050
01:08:58,768 --> 01:09:00,265
- Kill him! Kill him!
1051
01:09:00,266 --> 01:09:01,220
Kill him!
1052
01:09:01,231 --> 01:09:03,371
- Then just as I—
- Sorry to interrupt you, Rick,
1053
01:09:03,395 --> 01:09:05,342
but you've been talking
for almost 90 minutes
1054
01:09:05,366 --> 01:09:07,732
and we really have got
to go to a commercial.
1055
01:09:07,933 --> 01:09:09,840
Oh, sorry.
1056
01:09:11,881 --> 01:09:14,081
You like being a man.
1057
01:09:14,093 --> 01:09:16,346
That's why you'll like...
1058
01:09:16,507 --> 01:09:20,306
Macheesmo!
Real cheese for real men.
1059
01:09:20,307 --> 01:09:21,989
Now in a handy
aluminum dispenser.
1060
01:09:24,527 --> 01:09:27,097
And now back
to the exciting conclusion
1061
01:09:27,098 --> 01:09:29,965
of Ricky Coogin's
incredible story.
1062
01:09:30,548 --> 01:09:34,239
Let's see, it seemed like nothing could
stop me from shoving a spear
1063
01:09:34,240 --> 01:09:35,521
through Stuey's skull.
1064
01:09:35,956 --> 01:09:36,995
When all of a sudden—
1065
01:09:36,996 --> 01:09:38,929
- No, Rick, no!
- I heard a voice.
1066
01:09:38,946 --> 01:09:41,258
I reckon that troll can help you
1067
01:09:41,259 --> 01:09:43,827
if you just let him
into your heart.
1068
01:09:44,134 --> 01:09:47,338
Your heart, your heart...
1069
01:09:47,339 --> 01:09:51,819
Your heart, your heart,
your heart.
1070
01:09:57,669 --> 01:10:01,753
I... love... you.
1071
01:10:04,316 --> 01:10:06,389
You did it, Rick.
1072
01:10:06,390 --> 01:10:08,139
- Atta boy, Coog.
- Oh.
1073
01:10:10,441 --> 01:10:11,622
A dose of...
1074
01:10:11,751 --> 01:10:13,039
sentimental claptrap.
1075
01:10:20,195 --> 01:10:22,789
Beast Boy!
I gave you an order!
1076
01:10:22,790 --> 01:10:26,153
- And you better obey it, damn it!
- It's over, Skuggs!
1077
01:10:26,154 --> 01:10:28,398
You were nothing
before I found you!
1078
01:10:28,513 --> 01:10:30,637
I made you!
1079
01:10:30,964 --> 01:10:32,438
And I can break you!
1080
01:10:32,855 --> 01:10:34,646
You think I made you strong?!
1081
01:10:34,647 --> 01:10:37,543
Ha! I've got my DNA
cranked so high,
1082
01:10:37,817 --> 01:10:39,566
you won't know what hit you!
1083
01:10:39,567 --> 01:10:41,435
I'm a wrecking machine!
1084
01:10:59,137 --> 01:11:01,180
Ow!
Oh!
1085
01:11:04,560 --> 01:11:07,023
I think you crushed
my spinal cord.
1086
01:11:08,475 --> 01:11:10,451
I can't feel anything
in my fingers.
1087
01:11:10,452 --> 01:11:12,560
Maybe you'll feel this.
1088
01:11:12,561 --> 01:11:14,123
No, wait a minute!
Wait, wait, wait!
1089
01:11:14,124 --> 01:11:18,198
If you kill me, you'll never find
the antidote.
1090
01:11:18,199 --> 01:11:20,599
- What antidote?
- Aha ha.
1091
01:11:21,531 --> 01:11:23,534
A time-release serum.
1092
01:11:23,556 --> 01:11:26,339
I baked it into
a delicious batch...
1093
01:11:26,830 --> 01:11:28,579
of macaroons.
1094
01:11:28,959 --> 01:11:30,559
- Hmm.
- Macaroons! Nice.
1095
01:11:30,560 --> 01:11:32,418
That is so cool.
1096
01:11:33,413 --> 01:11:36,028
If you ask me,
you skimped on the coconut.
1097
01:11:45,801 --> 01:11:47,426
Oh!
1098
01:12:00,572 --> 01:12:02,860
Freeze! F.B.I.!
1099
01:12:05,132 --> 01:12:07,074
Looks like they took care
of Skuggs, chief.
1100
01:12:07,075 --> 01:12:08,884
Nice work, Ricky.
1101
01:12:09,580 --> 01:12:11,755
You'll get a medal from the
Vice President for this.
1102
01:12:11,765 --> 01:12:13,744
Great, but how did you...
1103
01:12:13,745 --> 01:12:15,940
We've been following
skuggs for years.
1104
01:12:16,536 --> 01:12:18,962
Then when we saw
Mr. Gluck's article,
1105
01:12:19,248 --> 01:12:20,822
we knew it was time to move.
1106
01:12:20,823 --> 01:12:23,421
- So what took you so long?
- Well, first, there was that
1107
01:12:24,216 --> 01:12:26,496
Satan's child thing
on page three.
1108
01:12:26,497 --> 01:12:27,853
- Oh.
- Yeah, I read that.
1109
01:12:27,854 --> 01:12:28,484
Then...
1110
01:12:28,759 --> 01:12:30,994
there was the case of the house
that dripped blood.
1111
01:12:30,995 --> 01:12:32,314
Ew!
1112
01:12:35,633 --> 01:12:37,251
Whoa!
Look at that thing!
1113
01:12:37,808 --> 01:12:41,231
- Holy shit!
- It can't be.
1114
01:12:42,347 --> 01:12:44,916
What the hell are you looking at?!
1115
01:12:44,917 --> 01:12:46,533
Dead meat.
1116
01:12:50,946 --> 01:12:53,172
And that's my story.
1117
01:12:54,249 --> 01:12:56,988
It was so exciting.
1118
01:12:56,991 --> 01:12:58,577
We fixed Coogin's light!
1119
01:12:58,578 --> 01:13:01,481
Oh, it's about time.
Turn it on.
1120
01:13:03,037 --> 01:13:04,685
- That's better.
- I'll say.
1121
01:13:04,810 --> 01:13:07,723
How about it, folks?
Let's hear it for Ricky Coogin
1122
01:13:07,724 --> 01:13:09,357
and his freaky friends.
1123
01:13:09,370 --> 01:13:11,425
The Bearded Lady!
1124
01:13:14,097 --> 01:13:15,933
- How you doing?
- Rosie!
1125
01:13:16,177 --> 01:13:18,606
- The Eternal Flame!
- Yeah!
1126
01:13:18,607 --> 01:13:20,707
Lights out, baby!
1127
01:13:20,708 --> 01:13:23,624
Cowboy!
Frogman!
1128
01:13:23,625 --> 01:13:26,562
Nosey!
1129
01:13:26,563 --> 01:13:28,199
Get off! Get off!
1130
01:13:29,365 --> 01:13:30,885
And the Worm.
1131
01:13:31,910 --> 01:13:35,336
Ridiculous. Just because a man
doesn't like macaroons.
1132
01:13:37,285 --> 01:13:38,409
Hey!
1133
01:13:39,027 --> 01:13:40,612
- Ho!
- Hi oh!
1134
01:13:43,169 --> 01:13:44,075
Gotcha!
1135
01:13:44,076 --> 01:13:45,544
Damn, it's about time!
1136
01:13:45,573 --> 01:13:47,375
Ortiz!
1137
01:13:47,376 --> 01:13:50,213
Hey!
Hermanos!
1138
01:13:52,516 --> 01:13:54,776
That's just great.
1139
01:13:54,946 --> 01:13:57,516
What a story,
and what an ending.
1140
01:13:57,517 --> 01:13:59,775
Elijah transformed by the goop,
1141
01:13:59,776 --> 01:14:01,132
and he actually looked like...
1142
01:14:01,133 --> 01:14:05,076
Exactly like you, Skye, I swear.
Same face, same outfit,
1143
01:14:05,289 --> 01:14:08,132
except he had these really
big hideous feet.
1144
01:14:11,147 --> 01:14:15,004
I'm gonna drink your blood!
1145
01:14:22,535 --> 01:14:25,214
- Oh, Rick, it's finally over.
- Yes.
1146
01:14:25,215 --> 01:14:26,522
Yes, it is.
1147
01:14:27,613 --> 01:14:28,488
Rick!
1148
01:14:28,489 --> 01:14:30,784
Hey, Rick!
1149
01:14:30,785 --> 01:14:32,432
Stuey!
1150
01:14:40,267 --> 01:14:42,880
Well, like that wasn't
totally predictable.
1151
01:14:44,919 --> 01:14:47,093
- Hi, Stuey.
- Well now, it's really over.
1152
01:14:47,312 --> 01:14:48,382
Thank God.
1153
01:14:48,539 --> 01:14:49,665
You know...
1154
01:14:50,154 --> 01:14:52,238
this whole thing has
taught me something.
1155
01:14:52,766 --> 01:14:55,942
That when man starts impinging on
the subtle perfection
1156
01:14:55,943 --> 01:14:57,593
of the earth's natural order,
1157
01:14:58,248 --> 01:15:00,076
the only thing he'll create...
1158
01:15:00,418 --> 01:15:01,459
is havoc.
1159
01:15:01,465 --> 01:15:03,038
Right, Coog.
1160
01:15:03,353 --> 01:15:04,879
I learned something too.
1161
01:15:05,338 --> 01:15:07,571
That men and women
truly are equals.
1162
01:15:07,572 --> 01:15:09,538
That the human spirit
1163
01:15:09,539 --> 01:15:12,370
transcends gender
and physical appearance.
1164
01:15:12,371 --> 01:15:15,699
And thus, it is immune
to the petty degradations
1165
01:15:15,859 --> 01:15:17,683
- men may devise.
- So true.
1166
01:15:17,697 --> 01:15:20,147
- Yeah, I believe it was Molière—
- Oh, shut up!
1167
01:15:20,148 --> 01:15:20,641
Ah!
1168
01:15:20,642 --> 01:15:21,733
Oh!
1169
01:15:24,486 --> 01:15:25,815
Aw!
1170
01:15:27,459 --> 01:15:29,398
Good night, everybody!
1171
01:15:29,404 --> 01:15:32,020
Good night!
82431
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
