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♪ I'll bet We've been together ♪
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♪ For a million years ♪
3
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♪ And I'll bet
We'll be together ♪
4
00:00:20,754 --> 00:00:23,032
♪ For a million more ♪
5
00:00:23,056 --> 00:00:26,002
♪ Ooh, it's like I
started breathin' ♪
6
00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:28,805
♪ On the night we kissed ♪
7
00:00:28,829 --> 00:00:34,043
♪ And I can't remember
What I ever did before ♪
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00:00:34,067 --> 00:00:36,946
♪ What would we do, baby ♪
9
00:00:36,970 --> 00:00:39,782
♪ Without us? ♪
10
00:00:39,806 --> 00:00:42,419
♪ What would we do, baby ♪
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00:00:42,443 --> 00:00:45,054
♪ Without us? ♪
12
00:00:45,078 --> 00:00:47,691
♪ And there ain't No nothin' ♪
13
00:00:47,715 --> 00:00:49,693
♪ We can't love
Each other through ♪
14
00:00:49,717 --> 00:00:51,094
♪ Ooh-hoo ♪
15
00:00:51,118 --> 00:00:53,863
♪ What would we do, baby ♪
16
00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:56,600
♪ Without us? ♪
17
00:00:56,624 --> 00:01:00,425
♪ Sha-la-la-la ♪
18
00:01:04,765 --> 00:01:06,042
How do I look?
19
00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:07,066
Oh...
20
00:01:08,202 --> 00:01:09,312
You look great.
21
00:01:09,336 --> 00:01:10,313
Well, I...
22
00:01:10,337 --> 00:01:11,881
It's important, Mom.
23
00:01:12,940 --> 00:01:15,217
You look fine. I promise.
24
00:01:15,241 --> 00:01:18,688
Yeah, you look, uh, ju... Uh...
25
00:01:18,712 --> 00:01:20,178
Keep in touch.
26
00:01:22,316 --> 00:01:23,793
Don't take it personally, honey.
27
00:01:23,817 --> 00:01:26,495
Jennifer is turning
into a teenage girl.
28
00:01:26,519 --> 00:01:29,065
You know, an exciting,
wonderful being,
29
00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:30,388
from another planet.
30
00:01:31,858 --> 00:01:34,003
Elyse, this isn't the first
time she's walked into a room
31
00:01:34,027 --> 00:01:35,538
and acted like I wasn't there.
32
00:01:35,562 --> 00:01:37,340
We... We just don't
seem to connect anymore.
33
00:01:37,364 --> 00:01:39,208
We used to have
so much in common.
34
00:01:39,232 --> 00:01:41,211
Well, you still have a
lot of things in common.
35
00:01:41,235 --> 00:01:43,980
She's just not interested
in them anymore.
36
00:01:45,004 --> 00:01:46,116
All right, Mallory.
37
00:01:46,140 --> 00:01:48,840
I am never, ever getting
in a car with you again.
38
00:01:50,044 --> 00:01:52,355
All I did was tell
the truth, Alex.
39
00:01:52,379 --> 00:01:53,857
You did not tell the truth.
40
00:01:53,881 --> 00:01:54,891
I came to a complete stop.
41
00:01:54,915 --> 00:01:56,993
A complete and total stop.
42
00:01:57,017 --> 00:01:58,394
Yeah, you stopped.
43
00:02:00,720 --> 00:02:01,798
What happened?
44
00:02:01,822 --> 00:02:03,299
I'll tell you what happened.
45
00:02:03,323 --> 00:02:05,568
My so-called sister and
I are driving downtown
46
00:02:05,592 --> 00:02:06,802
on... On South High Street.
47
00:02:06,826 --> 00:02:08,571
Right... Right in front
of Lazarus, there.
48
00:02:08,595 --> 00:02:10,873
And for some crazy
reason, I don't know why,
49
00:02:10,897 --> 00:02:13,309
a police officer, one
of Columbus's finest
50
00:02:13,333 --> 00:02:15,912
and least sighted,
pulls me over.
51
00:02:15,936 --> 00:02:18,815
He says I did not come
to a complete stop.
52
00:02:18,839 --> 00:02:22,886
"Officer," I said, "I did
come to a complete stop."
53
00:02:22,910 --> 00:02:25,188
And Mallory says,
54
00:02:25,212 --> 00:02:27,579
"Don't lie, Alex."
55
00:02:30,650 --> 00:02:31,627
Can you believe it?
56
00:02:31,651 --> 00:02:32,928
Can you possibly comprehend it?
57
00:02:32,952 --> 00:02:35,364
"Don't lie, Alex?"
58
00:02:35,388 --> 00:02:39,257
I felt it was my duty as
a citizen of Columbus.
59
00:02:41,128 --> 00:02:43,039
You're gonna be
a citizen of Saturn.
60
00:02:43,063 --> 00:02:45,503
Ah!
61
00:02:45,599 --> 00:02:47,010
I'm gonna fight
this. I don't care.
62
00:02:47,034 --> 00:02:48,978
I'm gonna see
that I am vindicated.
63
00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:51,314
I believe in our
judicial system.
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00:02:51,338 --> 00:02:53,739
I'll bribe someone if I have to.
65
00:02:55,342 --> 00:02:56,819
Does this scarf make it work?
66
00:02:56,843 --> 00:02:58,543
Oh, I like it.
67
00:02:59,112 --> 00:03:00,089
Mom?
68
00:03:00,113 --> 00:03:02,325
I think it's great. Very nice.
69
00:03:02,349 --> 00:03:04,460
Uh, say, Jen, I was thinking
maybe you and I could go over
70
00:03:04,484 --> 00:03:06,863
to Darby Creek Park
later, shoot some baskets.
71
00:03:06,887 --> 00:03:08,298
Oh, no, I can't today, Dad.
72
00:03:08,322 --> 00:03:09,732
Chuck's coming
over and I promised
73
00:03:09,756 --> 00:03:11,434
we'd spend the
afternoon together.
74
00:03:11,458 --> 00:03:12,969
Oh, Chuck.
75
00:03:12,993 --> 00:03:15,026
Well, that's okay. I understand.
76
00:03:16,296 --> 00:03:18,508
Can I talk to you? Chuck
will be here any minute.
77
00:03:18,532 --> 00:03:20,132
Oh sure, honey.
Yeah, what is it?
78
00:03:23,303 --> 00:03:24,414
Oh.
79
00:03:24,438 --> 00:03:25,438
I'm sorry.
80
00:03:27,140 --> 00:03:28,151
Mom, can you...?
81
00:03:32,345 --> 00:03:33,790
Thank you.
82
00:03:33,814 --> 00:03:36,660
Uh, maybe, uh, tonight we'll
shoot some baskets. Or tomorrow.
83
00:03:36,684 --> 00:03:39,428
Hey, you don't have
to let me know now.
84
00:03:39,452 --> 00:03:41,086
Think it over!
85
00:03:42,589 --> 00:03:44,534
Don't feel bad, honey.
She's been looking forward
86
00:03:44,558 --> 00:03:46,903
to being with Chuckie all week.
Ah, I don't feel bad about it.
87
00:03:46,927 --> 00:03:48,571
Don't be silly. If she'd
rather be with a boy
88
00:03:48,595 --> 00:03:51,474
her own age than
with her dad, that's fine.
89
00:03:51,498 --> 00:03:53,599
Seems a little unnatural to me.
90
00:03:55,603 --> 00:03:57,180
Just relax, Steven.
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00:03:57,204 --> 00:03:59,081
I'm relaxed.
92
00:03:59,105 --> 00:04:00,917
What were you two
whispering about?
93
00:04:00,941 --> 00:04:03,119
Oh, nothing really. Just
there are some times
94
00:04:03,143 --> 00:04:05,555
a girl feels more comfortable
talking to her mom, that's all.
95
00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:07,924
No, what were you whispering
about? Please. Tell me.
96
00:04:07,948 --> 00:04:09,326
I don't want to tell you.
97
00:04:09,350 --> 00:04:10,326
Why not?
98
00:04:10,350 --> 00:04:11,928
Because last time this happened,
99
00:04:11,952 --> 00:04:13,563
you didn't react normally.
100
00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:15,732
Now I have to know.
Come on, tell me.
101
00:04:15,756 --> 00:04:17,667
I can't stand it.
Please, tell me.
102
00:04:19,426 --> 00:04:20,903
Okay.
103
00:04:20,927 --> 00:04:24,273
Today, Jennifer is wearing
a bra for the first time.
104
00:04:24,297 --> 00:04:25,909
Why do you tell me these things?
105
00:04:25,933 --> 00:04:26,933
S...
106
00:04:29,035 --> 00:04:30,212
No, Dad, listen to me.
107
00:04:30,236 --> 00:04:31,548
I know policemen.
108
00:04:31,572 --> 00:04:33,783
This guy was not
gonna give me that ticket.
109
00:04:33,807 --> 00:04:35,118
I-I-I could feel it.
110
00:04:35,142 --> 00:04:36,819
I could see it in his eyes.
111
00:04:36,843 --> 00:04:38,955
I could see it
through his glasses.
112
00:04:38,979 --> 00:04:41,957
His thick, thick glasses.
113
00:04:41,981 --> 00:04:44,694
Then why did he stop
you in the first place?
114
00:04:44,718 --> 00:04:47,263
He wanted to get to know me.
115
00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:48,264
I don't know.
116
00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:50,133
I do know that he believed me
117
00:04:50,157 --> 00:04:51,635
when I said I came
to a complete stop.
118
00:04:51,659 --> 00:04:53,102
He believed me.
119
00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:55,105
Until Mallory s-said,
120
00:04:55,129 --> 00:04:56,839
"Don't lie, Alex."
121
00:04:56,863 --> 00:04:59,042
Oh, and... And
Dad, listen to this.
122
00:04:59,066 --> 00:05:00,943
When he... He took
out his notebook
123
00:05:00,967 --> 00:05:03,380
to write me the
ticket, his pen...
124
00:05:03,404 --> 00:05:04,714
You're not gonna believe this.
125
00:05:04,738 --> 00:05:06,782
His pen is dry.
126
00:05:06,806 --> 00:05:08,551
He can't write the ticket.
127
00:05:08,575 --> 00:05:12,087
I mean, he's laughing.
He is gonna let me go.
128
00:05:12,111 --> 00:05:14,346
Mallory lent him her pen.
129
00:05:17,184 --> 00:05:19,984
Then I helped him
spell your name right.
130
00:05:28,729 --> 00:05:30,006
Ooh, what have you got there?
131
00:05:30,030 --> 00:05:33,009
Oh, some old Father's
Day cards from Jennifer,
132
00:05:33,033 --> 00:05:34,633
when I was still her father.
133
00:05:36,235 --> 00:05:37,547
I just don't get it, Elyse.
134
00:05:37,571 --> 00:05:39,616
Hey, Steven, really. You
know, you're acting like
135
00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:42,451
this is the first time one of
our children has grown up.
136
00:05:42,475 --> 00:05:44,187
Jen and I have always
had something special.
137
00:05:44,211 --> 00:05:46,689
I mean, Mallory, uh... Mallory
was shopping by herself
138
00:05:46,713 --> 00:05:48,713
by the time she
was 6 months old.
139
00:05:49,983 --> 00:05:51,394
And Alex...
140
00:05:51,418 --> 00:05:55,431
Well, you can only
get so close to Alex in...
141
00:05:55,455 --> 00:05:58,267
In a non-financial relationship.
142
00:05:59,326 --> 00:06:00,970
But
143
00:06:00,994 --> 00:06:02,305
Jennifer...
144
00:06:03,330 --> 00:06:04,307
I don't know.
145
00:06:04,331 --> 00:06:06,309
Jennifer used to come to me.
146
00:06:06,333 --> 00:06:08,411
I remember she used
to call you her buddy.
147
00:06:08,435 --> 00:06:09,679
Yeah. I used to
call her my buddy.
148
00:06:09,703 --> 00:06:10,680
I'd say, "Hi, Buddy."
149
00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:11,814
And she'd say, "Hi, Buddy."
150
00:06:11,838 --> 00:06:13,449
Heh. Sometimes
we'd get confused.
151
00:06:13,473 --> 00:06:15,673
We wouldn't know who was who.
152
00:06:16,677 --> 00:06:18,822
I'm being ridiculous, aren't I?
153
00:06:18,846 --> 00:06:20,356
No, you're not being ridiculous.
154
00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:21,758
You're being a daddy.
155
00:06:21,782 --> 00:06:23,760
Sometimes the two
are identical twins.
156
00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:28,397
Hi. Oh, hey, guys.
157
00:06:28,421 --> 00:06:30,533
How was your walk?
It was very nice, Dad.
158
00:06:30,557 --> 00:06:33,770
Sorry we're late. We, uh,
stopped and shot some baskets.
159
00:06:33,794 --> 00:06:34,904
Really?
160
00:06:34,928 --> 00:06:37,206
Hardly know this boy.
161
00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:38,574
How about a snack?
162
00:06:38,598 --> 00:06:40,210
Oh, no thanks, Mom.
We're going upstairs.
163
00:06:40,234 --> 00:06:42,111
I wanna show Chuckie something.
164
00:06:42,135 --> 00:06:43,980
Well, there's nothing
you can show him upstairs
165
00:06:44,004 --> 00:06:46,816
that you can't show
him down here.
166
00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:49,686
I want to show him the upstairs.
167
00:06:49,710 --> 00:06:51,721
Wait, Jen. If going upstairs
makes your dad uptight,
168
00:06:51,745 --> 00:06:53,323
what's the point?
Why put him through it?
169
00:06:53,347 --> 00:06:55,546
What would you like
to do, Mr. Keaton?
170
00:06:59,253 --> 00:07:02,432
Well, I don't know. We could,
uh, set up the Ping-Pong table
171
00:07:02,456 --> 00:07:04,166
downstairs in the basement.
172
00:07:04,190 --> 00:07:06,235
Uh, play a couple of games.
Hey, that sounds good.
173
00:07:06,259 --> 00:07:10,106
Well, listen, Ping-Pong's
really a-a-a two-person game,
174
00:07:10,130 --> 00:07:12,411
so, uh... Catch
you later, Chuck.
175
00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:14,432
Dad.
176
00:07:15,402 --> 00:07:16,812
Yeah.
177
00:07:16,836 --> 00:07:20,150
I'll call you back on the other
phone, okay, Debbie? Bye.
178
00:07:20,174 --> 00:07:21,717
Hi, Dad.
179
00:07:21,741 --> 00:07:24,154
Uh, Jen, could we,
uh, talk for a minute?
180
00:07:24,178 --> 00:07:26,956
I've got to call Debbie
right back. It's crucial.
181
00:07:26,980 --> 00:07:28,558
Uh, maybe it could
wait for just a second.
182
00:07:28,582 --> 00:07:31,383
We, uh... We haven't really
done much talking lately.
183
00:07:33,053 --> 00:07:35,231
I miss you.
184
00:07:35,255 --> 00:07:37,166
I miss you too, Dad.
185
00:07:42,996 --> 00:07:44,974
Can I call Debbie back now?
186
00:07:44,998 --> 00:07:46,542
Come on, let's sit
down... Sit down.
187
00:07:46,566 --> 00:07:48,678
Let's talk, buddy to buddy.
188
00:07:48,702 --> 00:07:49,934
Okay.
189
00:07:52,171 --> 00:07:54,183
You know, you used to
call me buddy all the time.
190
00:07:54,207 --> 00:07:55,851
You never call me buddy anymore.
191
00:07:55,875 --> 00:07:57,487
Buddy is so babyish, Dad.
192
00:07:58,745 --> 00:08:00,912
You didn't think that
when you were 3.
193
00:08:03,984 --> 00:08:06,028
What are you reading
there? Seventeen.
194
00:08:06,052 --> 00:08:07,029
Uh, you're only 13.
195
00:08:07,053 --> 00:08:09,131
You shouldn't be reading that.
196
00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:11,436
You shouldn't be reading
that for another four years, Jen.
197
00:08:15,929 --> 00:08:17,740
Well, let's... Let's see.
198
00:08:17,764 --> 00:08:20,410
What have we got here? Ah.
199
00:08:20,434 --> 00:08:24,079
"Twelve Ways to Shape
Up in Time for the Prom."
200
00:08:24,103 --> 00:08:25,447
Too late for me now, huh?
201
00:08:30,310 --> 00:08:31,320
Why don't you...? I'll go...
202
00:08:31,344 --> 00:08:33,024
Call Debbie back.
203
00:08:34,881 --> 00:08:35,925
Hey, Dad.
204
00:08:35,949 --> 00:08:38,227
Where are you off to?
205
00:08:38,251 --> 00:08:39,495
Going downtown.
206
00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:42,064
Take some photographs
of the scene of the crime.
207
00:08:42,088 --> 00:08:44,066
Gonna need some visual
evidence, so I'll have proof
208
00:08:44,090 --> 00:08:47,136
of my innocence
for my day in court.
209
00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:48,360
I like your thinking.
210
00:08:49,629 --> 00:08:52,408
You know, Dad,
did I tell you that, uh,
211
00:08:52,432 --> 00:08:55,344
after that cop
gave me the ticket,
212
00:08:55,368 --> 00:08:58,436
Mallory gave him a donation
for the policeman's ball?
213
00:09:00,473 --> 00:09:02,151
Try to forget all that, Alex.
214
00:09:02,175 --> 00:09:04,854
Put your faith in
the legal system.
215
00:09:04,878 --> 00:09:07,478
She should be in jail, Dad.
216
00:09:08,981 --> 00:09:10,226
Mom, can you go with me
217
00:09:10,250 --> 00:09:11,794
to the Sunflower
Girls troop meeting
218
00:09:11,818 --> 00:09:13,396
after school on Thursday?
219
00:09:13,420 --> 00:09:15,030
On Thursday? Oh, honey, I can't.
220
00:09:15,054 --> 00:09:16,499
I've got a meeting
at the office.
221
00:09:16,523 --> 00:09:19,168
The Kramers want me to go
over the plans for their new house.
222
00:09:19,192 --> 00:09:21,003
Can't you make
that for another day?
223
00:09:21,027 --> 00:09:22,805
Honey, I've already
cancelled it twice.
224
00:09:22,829 --> 00:09:25,141
And if I don't get started
on their plans for their home,
225
00:09:25,165 --> 00:09:27,210
they're gonna want to
move in here with us.
226
00:09:27,234 --> 00:09:28,499
All right.
227
00:09:30,670 --> 00:09:32,148
All right, I'll reschedule it.
228
00:09:32,172 --> 00:09:33,172
Thanks, Mom.
229
00:09:41,314 --> 00:09:42,291
Hm.
230
00:09:42,315 --> 00:09:44,726
"Sunflower Girls Tea.
231
00:09:44,750 --> 00:09:47,263
"Come one, come
all. Come join the fun.
232
00:09:47,287 --> 00:09:49,954
Tea. Talk. Treats."
233
00:09:51,625 --> 00:09:53,001
No, Steven. It's...
It's not for you.
234
00:09:53,025 --> 00:09:54,804
It's for girls.
235
00:09:54,828 --> 00:09:58,196
Not so fast. It says,
"Come one, come all."
236
00:10:00,567 --> 00:10:03,112
Look, honey, I know how much
you want a shared experience
237
00:10:03,136 --> 00:10:05,181
with Jennifer, but...
But this is not it.
238
00:10:05,205 --> 00:10:06,448
You won't fit in.
239
00:10:06,472 --> 00:10:07,984
Oh, really? Well,
what do they do there?
240
00:10:08,008 --> 00:10:09,919
What's so special about
the Sunflowers Girls Tea
241
00:10:09,943 --> 00:10:11,954
that I can't be a part of it?
What goes on there, Elyse.
242
00:10:11,978 --> 00:10:13,256
What do they do?
243
00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:14,623
They sing songs.
244
00:10:14,647 --> 00:10:16,358
Are you implying
that I can't sing songs?
245
00:10:16,382 --> 00:10:17,359
What songs?
246
00:10:17,383 --> 00:10:18,828
What songs do they sing?
247
00:10:18,852 --> 00:10:20,963
"I've Got... I've Got a
Mule and Her Name is Sal."
248
00:10:20,987 --> 00:10:22,699
♪ I've got a mule
And her name is Sal ♪
249
00:10:22,723 --> 00:10:24,734
♪ Fifteen miles
On the Erie Canal ♪
250
00:10:24,758 --> 00:10:26,902
What else do they do?
251
00:10:26,926 --> 00:10:28,237
They talk about things.
252
00:10:28,261 --> 00:10:29,238
What kind of things?
253
00:10:29,262 --> 00:10:30,673
Well, things, Steven.
254
00:10:30,697 --> 00:10:34,243
Uh, hobbies, school,
current events.
255
00:10:34,267 --> 00:10:36,078
Things that go on in their life.
256
00:10:36,102 --> 00:10:38,314
You kn... Girls' talk. Uh...
257
00:10:38,338 --> 00:10:40,282
And then they eat cookies.
258
00:10:40,306 --> 00:10:43,186
Are you implying that I
can't...? Steven, it's a girls' club.
259
00:10:43,210 --> 00:10:44,387
It's not for you.
260
00:10:44,411 --> 00:10:46,189
Y... You'd be putting
yourself in a place
261
00:10:46,213 --> 00:10:48,156
where you have no place.
262
00:10:48,180 --> 00:10:50,359
What place do I have
in her life now, Elyse?
263
00:10:50,383 --> 00:10:52,428
I'm the invisible man.
264
00:10:52,452 --> 00:10:53,796
At least this gives me a shot.
265
00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:56,165
This gives me an identity.
266
00:10:56,189 --> 00:10:58,723
I'm a Sunflower Girl.
267
00:11:04,331 --> 00:11:06,275
I don't want Dad to take me.
268
00:11:06,299 --> 00:11:08,077
I just don't want him to.
269
00:11:08,101 --> 00:11:09,278
Come on, Jen. Keep it down.
270
00:11:09,302 --> 00:11:11,147
You don't want
Dad to hear, do you?
271
00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:12,247
Maybe I do.
272
00:11:12,271 --> 00:11:13,549
You've got to let him go, Jen.
273
00:11:13,573 --> 00:11:15,351
It's part of growing up
female in this house.
274
00:11:15,375 --> 00:11:17,653
He came to Sunflower
Girls with you too?
275
00:11:17,677 --> 00:11:19,711
No. He came on a date with me.
276
00:11:21,580 --> 00:11:23,125
I was, uh, 13-and-a-half,
277
00:11:23,149 --> 00:11:26,395
and Brian Madigan
took me to the movies.
278
00:11:26,419 --> 00:11:30,533
Brian sat on one side of me
and, well, Dad sat on the other.
279
00:11:30,557 --> 00:11:31,801
When Brian put
his arm around me,
280
00:11:31,825 --> 00:11:33,635
Dad put his arm around me too,
281
00:11:33,659 --> 00:11:36,594
and, uh... Well,
they shook hands.
282
00:11:38,564 --> 00:11:40,075
Good morning, everybody.
283
00:11:40,099 --> 00:11:41,377
Except Mallory.
284
00:11:41,401 --> 00:11:42,912
Where are you going?
285
00:11:42,936 --> 00:11:44,546
I'm going down to traffic court.
286
00:11:44,570 --> 00:11:46,148
Good luck.
287
00:11:46,172 --> 00:11:48,784
Wouldn't need luck if
it weren't for you, Mal.
288
00:11:48,808 --> 00:11:50,252
You would not be
going to court, Alex,
289
00:11:50,276 --> 00:11:52,388
if you had just allowed
me to keep driving.
290
00:11:52,412 --> 00:11:54,457
Is that it, Mallory?
291
00:11:54,481 --> 00:11:57,326
That is it. That's it
isn't it? That's right.
292
00:11:57,350 --> 00:12:00,996
The reason that I wouldn't
let you drive anymore
293
00:12:01,020 --> 00:12:03,332
is that my life
294
00:12:03,356 --> 00:12:06,023
was in sudden
and immediate peril.
295
00:12:08,595 --> 00:12:10,038
I mean, you're driving,
296
00:12:10,062 --> 00:12:13,263
and people are leaping off
the street into the bushes.
297
00:12:15,635 --> 00:12:18,436
You drive like
you're playing tag.
298
00:12:19,572 --> 00:12:21,572
Don't lie, Alex.
299
00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:25,354
No.
300
00:12:25,378 --> 00:12:27,990
No, violence has no place here.
301
00:12:28,014 --> 00:12:31,160
I put my faith in our
system of jurisprudence,
302
00:12:31,184 --> 00:12:33,162
and it shall vindicate me.
303
00:12:33,186 --> 00:12:36,399
I have photographs
of the intersection,
304
00:12:36,423 --> 00:12:39,857
of the stop sign, and I
have photographs of you.
305
00:12:45,364 --> 00:12:46,464
As well...
306
00:12:48,100 --> 00:12:50,679
as a report card
307
00:12:50,703 --> 00:12:53,504
and a recent IQ test.
308
00:12:58,945 --> 00:13:01,211
I think the judge
will understand.
309
00:13:02,548 --> 00:13:05,527
No, he won't,
310
00:13:05,551 --> 00:13:08,519
because I'm gonna call him
up and tell him you're lying.
311
00:13:09,089 --> 00:13:10,066
Mom!
312
00:13:10,090 --> 00:13:11,133
Mom!
313
00:13:11,157 --> 00:13:12,335
Hey.
314
00:13:12,359 --> 00:13:13,869
I'm ready for the
meeting, buddy. Heh.
315
00:13:13,893 --> 00:13:14,893
Great, Dad.
316
00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:18,440
And I've been practicing
the Sunflower Salute.
317
00:13:18,464 --> 00:13:19,697
Dad, I told you...
318
00:13:26,405 --> 00:13:29,451
Dad, I told you, we don't
do that salute anymore.
319
00:13:29,475 --> 00:13:31,620
It's in the handbook, Jennifer.
320
00:13:31,644 --> 00:13:33,655
We just shake hands now.
321
00:13:33,679 --> 00:13:34,690
Okay.
322
00:13:35,715 --> 00:13:36,859
Look, I'll be, uh,
323
00:13:36,883 --> 00:13:38,527
back downstairs
in about 15 minutes
324
00:13:38,551 --> 00:13:39,762
to take you to the meeting.
325
00:13:39,786 --> 00:13:41,364
That's fine, Dad,
but just don't do the...
326
00:13:41,388 --> 00:13:43,220
Sunflower Goodbye?
327
00:13:50,063 --> 00:13:52,029
I think Dad needs to be watered.
328
00:13:53,566 --> 00:13:56,344
I'm in big trouble
here, Alex. Help me out.
329
00:13:56,368 --> 00:13:58,180
Well, I could tell you
what I'd do, if I were you.
330
00:13:58,204 --> 00:13:59,348
What?
331
00:13:59,372 --> 00:14:02,951
Well, Dad wants to
spend time with you, right?
332
00:14:02,975 --> 00:14:04,319
Right.
333
00:14:04,343 --> 00:14:05,955
And time is money, right?
334
00:14:05,979 --> 00:14:07,623
Right.
335
00:14:07,647 --> 00:14:09,091
So if Dad wants to
spend time with you,
336
00:14:09,115 --> 00:14:11,126
and time is money,
337
00:14:11,150 --> 00:14:14,596
then he'll spend
money to be with you.
338
00:14:14,620 --> 00:14:17,922
See? So what you do is
you charge him by the hour.
339
00:14:20,393 --> 00:14:22,259
Like, uh,
340
00:14:23,963 --> 00:14:26,708
five bucks for a
walk in the park,
341
00:14:26,732 --> 00:14:29,779
eight bucks for a
game of basketball.
342
00:14:29,803 --> 00:14:31,513
Now, uh... Now, be a
sport and give him half off
343
00:14:31,537 --> 00:14:33,204
on Father's Day.
344
00:14:35,174 --> 00:14:37,886
That's a beautiful
thought, Alex,
345
00:14:37,910 --> 00:14:39,288
but no thanks.
346
00:14:39,312 --> 00:14:40,923
Well, you can do
what you want, buddy.
347
00:14:40,947 --> 00:14:42,914
I've got to go down to court.
348
00:14:49,556 --> 00:14:52,635
♪ Low bridge, everybody down ♪
349
00:14:52,659 --> 00:14:55,338
♪ Low bridge For
we're comin' to a town ♪
350
00:14:55,362 --> 00:14:57,139
♪ And you'll always
know Your neighbor ♪
351
00:14:57,163 --> 00:14:58,541
♪ You'll always know your pal ♪
352
00:14:58,565 --> 00:15:01,944
♪ If you've ever navigated
On the Erie Canal ♪
353
00:15:01,968 --> 00:15:03,045
All right.
354
00:15:08,108 --> 00:15:10,852
Well, what do you say,
Dad? Do you want to go now?
355
00:15:10,876 --> 00:15:13,055
We've been here
three minutes, Jennifer.
356
00:15:13,079 --> 00:15:15,324
All right. That was
very nice singing, girls.
357
00:15:15,348 --> 00:15:17,626
And now, on to the new business.
358
00:15:17,650 --> 00:15:19,595
I would like to
welcome all the moms
359
00:15:19,619 --> 00:15:21,919
and... the dad.
360
00:15:23,789 --> 00:15:25,467
Mr. Keaton, nice that
you could come, sir.
361
00:15:25,491 --> 00:15:27,469
Thank you, Mrs. Carpenter.
I feel very much at home.
362
00:15:27,493 --> 00:15:28,937
In fact, I'd like to, uh,
363
00:15:28,961 --> 00:15:30,272
give you all a warm Sunflower...
364
00:15:30,296 --> 00:15:31,462
Dad.
365
00:15:34,033 --> 00:15:35,344
Well, now it's time
366
00:15:35,368 --> 00:15:38,447
for the roundtable.
Oh, what's that?
367
00:15:38,471 --> 00:15:40,682
Well, once a month, we
discuss some topic of interest
368
00:15:40,706 --> 00:15:42,251
to the Sunflower Girls.
369
00:15:42,275 --> 00:15:45,154
Oh, great. I'm, uh... I'm all
ready. Camping? Boating? Hiking?
370
00:15:45,178 --> 00:15:46,822
Today, we're
gonna talk about sex.
371
00:15:46,846 --> 00:15:48,712
I'm your guy.
372
00:15:49,749 --> 00:15:51,426
Did you say "sex?"
373
00:15:51,450 --> 00:15:52,794
Mm-hm.
374
00:15:52,818 --> 00:15:54,130
Dad, maybe you
should go. Really.
375
00:15:54,154 --> 00:15:57,098
Non... Nonsense, Jennifer.
I'm a Sunflower Dad.
376
00:15:57,122 --> 00:15:58,767
I think I can handle a matu...
377
00:15:58,791 --> 00:16:03,839
A mature discussion
about, uh, what she said.
378
00:16:03,863 --> 00:16:06,041
Now, we're going
to discuss our bodies
379
00:16:06,065 --> 00:16:08,310
as they blossom into womanhood,
380
00:16:08,334 --> 00:16:10,145
and about boys, and their bodies
381
00:16:10,169 --> 00:16:12,336
as they burst into manhood.
382
00:16:17,944 --> 00:16:19,588
I know that some of you
have already gone out
383
00:16:19,612 --> 00:16:20,823
on dates with boys,
384
00:16:20,847 --> 00:16:23,592
and I want to talk
about first experiences.
385
00:16:23,616 --> 00:16:26,495
And I want the younger girls
to benefit from you older girls,
386
00:16:26,519 --> 00:16:28,063
so we're gonna go
around the room,
387
00:16:28,087 --> 00:16:30,421
starting with you, Shelley.
388
00:16:31,424 --> 00:16:33,235
Well, on my first date,
389
00:16:33,259 --> 00:16:34,770
I went out with a
guy in my class.
390
00:16:34,794 --> 00:16:36,138
I'm not gonna name names...
391
00:16:36,162 --> 00:16:37,906
Was it Larry Parker?
392
00:16:37,930 --> 00:16:39,397
That's right.
393
00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:44,046
Anyway, I went out with Larry,
394
00:16:44,070 --> 00:16:46,848
and all he wanted
to do was fool around.
395
00:16:46,872 --> 00:16:48,417
What do you mean
by "fool around?"
396
00:16:48,441 --> 00:16:50,285
I mean, he wanted
to touch my body
397
00:16:50,309 --> 00:16:53,177
as it blossomed into womanhood.
398
00:16:58,417 --> 00:17:01,597
Boys are only interested
in one thing: sex.
399
00:17:01,621 --> 00:17:03,520
Right, Mr. Keaton?
400
00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:10,272
Well... Well, uh... Wha...?
What's your name?
401
00:17:10,296 --> 00:17:12,875
Alice. Well, Alice,
402
00:17:12,899 --> 00:17:14,877
some boys are very
interested in sex.
403
00:17:14,901 --> 00:17:16,100
Were you?
404
00:17:17,603 --> 00:17:19,215
Well, uh, when I was a boy,
405
00:17:19,239 --> 00:17:21,450
I was interested
in a lot of things.
406
00:17:21,474 --> 00:17:23,241
Was sex one of them?
407
00:17:25,644 --> 00:17:29,158
Well, I was interested in, uh,
baseball, basketball, football.
408
00:17:29,182 --> 00:17:30,993
You're not answering
the question.
409
00:17:31,017 --> 00:17:32,950
Get off my back, will you?
410
00:17:36,589 --> 00:17:38,801
I don't want to lie
to you, uh, Alice.
411
00:17:38,825 --> 00:17:43,439
Uh, heh, I admit, there...
There were some, uh, girls,
412
00:17:43,463 --> 00:17:46,241
uh, that, uh...
413
00:17:46,265 --> 00:17:47,676
I remember Marjorie McCracken.
414
00:17:47,700 --> 00:17:50,701
Boy, she had a body on her.
415
00:17:53,405 --> 00:17:55,851
Dad, I can't believe you're
talking about this stuff.
416
00:17:55,875 --> 00:17:58,220
What can I do? She
was hounding me.
417
00:17:58,244 --> 00:17:59,688
Dad, you're really
embarrassing me.
418
00:17:59,712 --> 00:18:01,190
This is not the
place for you to be.
419
00:18:01,214 --> 00:18:03,158
Why do you say that?
Look around you, Dad.
420
00:18:03,182 --> 00:18:05,795
Do you see anyone
else here who shaves?
421
00:18:05,819 --> 00:18:07,796
Jennifer, I just want to
spend some time with you.
422
00:18:07,820 --> 00:18:10,632
I'm sorry, Dad, but
this isn't the right place.
423
00:18:10,656 --> 00:18:13,257
If you don't leave, I will.
424
00:18:27,239 --> 00:18:30,753
Would anyone like to know
how I did in court today?
425
00:18:30,777 --> 00:18:33,422
Well, let's see.
426
00:18:33,446 --> 00:18:34,446
Not good?
427
00:18:37,416 --> 00:18:38,515
I won.
428
00:18:40,286 --> 00:18:42,364
The judge loved me.
429
00:18:42,388 --> 00:18:44,900
Commended me on my thoroughness.
430
00:18:44,924 --> 00:18:47,391
Commiserated with
me about Mallory.
431
00:18:49,795 --> 00:18:51,362
He has a sister.
432
00:18:53,065 --> 00:18:55,565
Not quite as
aggravating, but close.
433
00:18:57,002 --> 00:18:59,014
Anyway, I won. He
tore up the ticket.
434
00:18:59,038 --> 00:19:00,771
That's not good news?
435
00:19:02,575 --> 00:19:04,341
When I went out to the car,
436
00:19:08,314 --> 00:19:10,447
I found a parking ticket.
437
00:19:12,251 --> 00:19:14,997
When I went inside to complain,
438
00:19:15,021 --> 00:19:17,221
I got a jaywalking ticket.
439
00:19:21,694 --> 00:19:24,440
Don't you just love justice?
440
00:19:24,464 --> 00:19:25,996
It's so fair.
441
00:19:27,833 --> 00:19:28,833
Ah!
442
00:19:29,769 --> 00:19:31,009
Mom!
443
00:19:35,408 --> 00:19:37,952
It wasn't a good idea.
444
00:19:37,976 --> 00:19:40,889
Tried to stop me, but
I... I wouldn't listen.
445
00:19:40,913 --> 00:19:43,392
I was wrong. Wrong again.
446
00:19:43,416 --> 00:19:45,327
I'm always wrong.
447
00:19:45,351 --> 00:19:46,461
Wanna tell me what happened?
448
00:19:46,485 --> 00:19:48,863
Maybe in a couple of years.
449
00:19:48,887 --> 00:19:51,200
I'm telling you,
450
00:19:51,224 --> 00:19:52,504
it was really something.
451
00:19:53,959 --> 00:19:57,928
I was talking about my sex
life to the Sunflower Girls.
452
00:20:00,667 --> 00:20:02,433
I'm sorry I missed that.
453
00:20:04,837 --> 00:20:06,982
Jennifer was so embarrassed.
She must think I'm the most
454
00:20:07,006 --> 00:20:10,019
ridiculous excuse for
a father in the world.
455
00:20:10,043 --> 00:20:13,021
Oh. Do you know
what Mark Twain said?
456
00:20:13,045 --> 00:20:15,891
Was he a Sunflower Dad?
457
00:20:15,915 --> 00:20:18,127
No.
458
00:20:18,151 --> 00:20:21,163
He said that... That
when he was 14,
459
00:20:21,187 --> 00:20:22,698
his father was so ignorant,
460
00:20:22,722 --> 00:20:24,899
he couldn't stand
to have him around.
461
00:20:24,923 --> 00:20:27,169
But by the time he
turned 21, he was...
462
00:20:27,193 --> 00:20:28,770
He was astonished at
how much the old man
463
00:20:28,794 --> 00:20:30,905
had learned in just seven years.
464
00:20:30,929 --> 00:20:31,996
Hm.
465
00:20:33,699 --> 00:20:34,976
She'll come back to you, Steven.
466
00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:37,367
It may take seven years,
but she'll come back.
467
00:20:48,914 --> 00:20:50,826
I heard it didn't go so well.
468
00:20:50,850 --> 00:20:52,727
Let's just say that most
of the Sunflower Girls
469
00:20:52,751 --> 00:20:54,385
are still in shock.
470
00:20:55,955 --> 00:20:57,732
Honey,
471
00:20:57,756 --> 00:21:01,836
he only went because he
cares so much about you.
472
00:21:01,860 --> 00:21:03,738
That's hard to believe.
473
00:21:03,762 --> 00:21:05,840
Well, it's true.
474
00:21:05,864 --> 00:21:09,211
And the day will come when
you'll look back on this fondly,
475
00:21:09,235 --> 00:21:11,813
and... And you'll
realize what a...
476
00:21:11,837 --> 00:21:14,070
A wonderful father you have.
477
00:21:21,581 --> 00:21:25,093
Ah, I guess you don't wanna
see the Sunflower Salute, huh?
478
00:21:25,117 --> 00:21:27,729
Not at the moment, no.
479
00:21:27,753 --> 00:21:30,065
I made a mistake, Jen.
I tried to force myself
480
00:21:30,089 --> 00:21:32,601
in somewhere where I, uh...
481
00:21:32,625 --> 00:21:35,136
I didn't belong.
482
00:21:35,160 --> 00:21:36,605
But I only did it
because I missed you.
483
00:21:36,629 --> 00:21:38,640
I...
484
00:21:38,664 --> 00:21:40,609
I miss talking to you,
walking in the park with you,
485
00:21:40,633 --> 00:21:43,245
throwing the ball
back and forth.
486
00:21:43,269 --> 00:21:45,681
You mean, if I would have
gone to the park with you,
487
00:21:45,705 --> 00:21:47,015
none of this would
have happened?
488
00:21:47,039 --> 00:21:48,839
Well, it's not as
simple as that, Jen.
489
00:21:50,510 --> 00:21:52,821
You know, when you were
born, when I picked you up
490
00:21:52,845 --> 00:21:54,223
for the first time,
and our eyes met,
491
00:21:54,247 --> 00:21:56,592
right then, I
signed on for life.
492
00:21:56,616 --> 00:21:58,227
I knew that I would...
493
00:21:58,251 --> 00:22:01,129
I would care for
you, protect you,
494
00:22:01,153 --> 00:22:03,032
teach you,
495
00:22:03,056 --> 00:22:04,566
love you.
496
00:22:04,590 --> 00:22:06,601
And you've done
all those things.
497
00:22:06,625 --> 00:22:08,837
All of a sudden, it seemed like
you didn't need me anymore.
498
00:22:08,861 --> 00:22:11,206
You didn't want to be with me.
499
00:22:11,230 --> 00:22:13,108
Well, it hurt.
500
00:22:13,132 --> 00:22:15,310
I didn't mean to hurt you, Dad.
501
00:22:15,334 --> 00:22:16,545
It's just that I've changed.
502
00:22:16,569 --> 00:22:18,268
I can't help it.
503
00:22:19,438 --> 00:22:21,283
Look at me, Dad.
504
00:22:21,307 --> 00:22:23,885
I'm 13 years old now.
505
00:22:23,909 --> 00:22:26,121
I'm not a little girl anymore.
506
00:22:26,145 --> 00:22:27,889
I know that. I-I'm
just trying to find ways
507
00:22:27,913 --> 00:22:29,992
that I can still
fit into your life.
508
00:22:30,016 --> 00:22:32,382
Well, it's not as
a Sunflower Girl.
509
00:22:34,420 --> 00:22:37,131
I learned that the hard way.
510
00:22:37,155 --> 00:22:39,134
Look, Dad, this is
a hard time for me.
511
00:22:39,158 --> 00:22:44,006
So much is changing at
school and with my friends.
512
00:22:44,030 --> 00:22:46,842
It's just so hard to
keep up with everything.
513
00:22:46,866 --> 00:22:50,479
Well, I only wish I was
able to help you through this.
514
00:22:50,503 --> 00:22:52,481
I think the easiest
thing for you to do
515
00:22:52,505 --> 00:22:54,550
is to not push too hard.
516
00:22:54,574 --> 00:22:57,753
Not a little girl anymore.
517
00:22:57,777 --> 00:23:00,188
I guess I'd better
get used to that, huh?
518
00:23:00,212 --> 00:23:02,924
You've got no choice.
519
00:23:02,948 --> 00:23:05,916
I can't help it. I
just keep growing.
520
00:23:09,055 --> 00:23:10,055
Tsk.
521
00:23:12,091 --> 00:23:14,235
I'm really gonna
miss the old times.
522
00:23:14,259 --> 00:23:16,538
It's not gonna be like
that anymore, huh?
523
00:23:16,562 --> 00:23:20,197
Maybe it'll be better, buddy.
34994
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