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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:12,279 --> 00:00:14,357 ♪ I'll bet We've been together ♪ 2 00:00:14,381 --> 00:00:17,794 ♪ For a million years ♪ 3 00:00:17,818 --> 00:00:20,730 ♪ And I'll bet We'll be together ♪ 4 00:00:20,754 --> 00:00:23,032 ♪ For a million more ♪ 5 00:00:23,056 --> 00:00:26,002 ♪ Ooh, it's like I started breathin' ♪ 6 00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:28,805 ♪ On the night we kissed ♪ 7 00:00:28,829 --> 00:00:34,043 ♪ And I can't remember What I ever did before ♪ 8 00:00:34,067 --> 00:00:36,946 ♪ What would we do, baby ♪ 9 00:00:36,970 --> 00:00:39,782 ♪ Without us? ♪ 10 00:00:39,806 --> 00:00:42,419 ♪ What would we do, baby ♪ 11 00:00:42,443 --> 00:00:45,054 ♪ Without us? ♪ 12 00:00:45,078 --> 00:00:47,691 ♪ And there ain't No nothin' ♪ 13 00:00:47,715 --> 00:00:49,693 ♪ We can't love Each other through ♪ 14 00:00:49,717 --> 00:00:51,094 ♪ Ooh-hoo ♪ 15 00:00:51,118 --> 00:00:53,863 ♪ What would we do, baby ♪ 16 00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:56,600 ♪ Without us? ♪ 17 00:00:56,624 --> 00:01:00,425 ♪ Sha-la-la-la ♪ 18 00:01:04,765 --> 00:01:06,042 How do I look? 19 00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:07,066 Oh... 20 00:01:08,202 --> 00:01:09,312 You look great. 21 00:01:09,336 --> 00:01:10,313 Well, I... 22 00:01:10,337 --> 00:01:11,881 It's important, Mom. 23 00:01:12,940 --> 00:01:15,217 You look fine. I promise. 24 00:01:15,241 --> 00:01:18,688 Yeah, you look, uh, ju... Uh... 25 00:01:18,712 --> 00:01:20,178 Keep in touch. 26 00:01:22,316 --> 00:01:23,793 Don't take it personally, honey. 27 00:01:23,817 --> 00:01:26,495 Jennifer is turning into a teenage girl. 28 00:01:26,519 --> 00:01:29,065 You know, an exciting, wonderful being, 29 00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:30,388 from another planet. 30 00:01:31,858 --> 00:01:34,003 Elyse, this isn't the first time she's walked into a room 31 00:01:34,027 --> 00:01:35,538 and acted like I wasn't there. 32 00:01:35,562 --> 00:01:37,340 We... We just don't seem to connect anymore. 33 00:01:37,364 --> 00:01:39,208 We used to have so much in common. 34 00:01:39,232 --> 00:01:41,211 Well, you still have a lot of things in common. 35 00:01:41,235 --> 00:01:43,980 She's just not interested in them anymore. 36 00:01:45,004 --> 00:01:46,116 All right, Mallory. 37 00:01:46,140 --> 00:01:48,840 I am never, ever getting in a car with you again. 38 00:01:50,044 --> 00:01:52,355 All I did was tell the truth, Alex. 39 00:01:52,379 --> 00:01:53,857 You did not tell the truth. 40 00:01:53,881 --> 00:01:54,891 I came to a complete stop. 41 00:01:54,915 --> 00:01:56,993 A complete and total stop. 42 00:01:57,017 --> 00:01:58,394 Yeah, you stopped. 43 00:02:00,720 --> 00:02:01,798 What happened? 44 00:02:01,822 --> 00:02:03,299 I'll tell you what happened. 45 00:02:03,323 --> 00:02:05,568 My so-called sister and I are driving downtown 46 00:02:05,592 --> 00:02:06,802 on... On South High Street. 47 00:02:06,826 --> 00:02:08,571 Right... Right in front of Lazarus, there. 48 00:02:08,595 --> 00:02:10,873 And for some crazy reason, I don't know why, 49 00:02:10,897 --> 00:02:13,309 a police officer, one of Columbus's finest 50 00:02:13,333 --> 00:02:15,912 and least sighted, pulls me over. 51 00:02:15,936 --> 00:02:18,815 He says I did not come to a complete stop. 52 00:02:18,839 --> 00:02:22,886 "Officer," I said, "I did come to a complete stop." 53 00:02:22,910 --> 00:02:25,188 And Mallory says, 54 00:02:25,212 --> 00:02:27,579 "Don't lie, Alex." 55 00:02:30,650 --> 00:02:31,627 Can you believe it? 56 00:02:31,651 --> 00:02:32,928 Can you possibly comprehend it? 57 00:02:32,952 --> 00:02:35,364 "Don't lie, Alex?" 58 00:02:35,388 --> 00:02:39,257 I felt it was my duty as a citizen of Columbus. 59 00:02:41,128 --> 00:02:43,039 You're gonna be a citizen of Saturn. 60 00:02:43,063 --> 00:02:45,503 Ah! 61 00:02:45,599 --> 00:02:47,010 I'm gonna fight this. I don't care. 62 00:02:47,034 --> 00:02:48,978 I'm gonna see that I am vindicated. 63 00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:51,314 I believe in our judicial system. 64 00:02:51,338 --> 00:02:53,739 I'll bribe someone if I have to. 65 00:02:55,342 --> 00:02:56,819 Does this scarf make it work? 66 00:02:56,843 --> 00:02:58,543 Oh, I like it. 67 00:02:59,112 --> 00:03:00,089 Mom? 68 00:03:00,113 --> 00:03:02,325 I think it's great. Very nice. 69 00:03:02,349 --> 00:03:04,460 Uh, say, Jen, I was thinking maybe you and I could go over 70 00:03:04,484 --> 00:03:06,863 to Darby Creek Park later, shoot some baskets. 71 00:03:06,887 --> 00:03:08,298 Oh, no, I can't today, Dad. 72 00:03:08,322 --> 00:03:09,732 Chuck's coming over and I promised 73 00:03:09,756 --> 00:03:11,434 we'd spend the afternoon together. 74 00:03:11,458 --> 00:03:12,969 Oh, Chuck. 75 00:03:12,993 --> 00:03:15,026 Well, that's okay. I understand. 76 00:03:16,296 --> 00:03:18,508 Can I talk to you? Chuck will be here any minute. 77 00:03:18,532 --> 00:03:20,132 Oh sure, honey. Yeah, what is it? 78 00:03:23,303 --> 00:03:24,414 Oh. 79 00:03:24,438 --> 00:03:25,438 I'm sorry. 80 00:03:27,140 --> 00:03:28,151 Mom, can you...? 81 00:03:32,345 --> 00:03:33,790 Thank you. 82 00:03:33,814 --> 00:03:36,660 Uh, maybe, uh, tonight we'll shoot some baskets. Or tomorrow. 83 00:03:36,684 --> 00:03:39,428 Hey, you don't have to let me know now. 84 00:03:39,452 --> 00:03:41,086 Think it over! 85 00:03:42,589 --> 00:03:44,534 Don't feel bad, honey. She's been looking forward 86 00:03:44,558 --> 00:03:46,903 to being with Chuckie all week. Ah, I don't feel bad about it. 87 00:03:46,927 --> 00:03:48,571 Don't be silly. If she'd rather be with a boy 88 00:03:48,595 --> 00:03:51,474 her own age than with her dad, that's fine. 89 00:03:51,498 --> 00:03:53,599 Seems a little unnatural to me. 90 00:03:55,603 --> 00:03:57,180 Just relax, Steven. 91 00:03:57,204 --> 00:03:59,081 I'm relaxed. 92 00:03:59,105 --> 00:04:00,917 What were you two whispering about? 93 00:04:00,941 --> 00:04:03,119 Oh, nothing really. Just there are some times 94 00:04:03,143 --> 00:04:05,555 a girl feels more comfortable talking to her mom, that's all. 95 00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:07,924 No, what were you whispering about? Please. Tell me. 96 00:04:07,948 --> 00:04:09,326 I don't want to tell you. 97 00:04:09,350 --> 00:04:10,326 Why not? 98 00:04:10,350 --> 00:04:11,928 Because last time this happened, 99 00:04:11,952 --> 00:04:13,563 you didn't react normally. 100 00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:15,732 Now I have to know. Come on, tell me. 101 00:04:15,756 --> 00:04:17,667 I can't stand it. Please, tell me. 102 00:04:19,426 --> 00:04:20,903 Okay. 103 00:04:20,927 --> 00:04:24,273 Today, Jennifer is wearing a bra for the first time. 104 00:04:24,297 --> 00:04:25,909 Why do you tell me these things? 105 00:04:25,933 --> 00:04:26,933 S... 106 00:04:29,035 --> 00:04:30,212 No, Dad, listen to me. 107 00:04:30,236 --> 00:04:31,548 I know policemen. 108 00:04:31,572 --> 00:04:33,783 This guy was not gonna give me that ticket. 109 00:04:33,807 --> 00:04:35,118 I-I-I could feel it. 110 00:04:35,142 --> 00:04:36,819 I could see it in his eyes. 111 00:04:36,843 --> 00:04:38,955 I could see it through his glasses. 112 00:04:38,979 --> 00:04:41,957 His thick, thick glasses. 113 00:04:41,981 --> 00:04:44,694 Then why did he stop you in the first place? 114 00:04:44,718 --> 00:04:47,263 He wanted to get to know me. 115 00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:48,264 I don't know. 116 00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:50,133 I do know that he believed me 117 00:04:50,157 --> 00:04:51,635 when I said I came to a complete stop. 118 00:04:51,659 --> 00:04:53,102 He believed me. 119 00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:55,105 Until Mallory s-said, 120 00:04:55,129 --> 00:04:56,839 "Don't lie, Alex." 121 00:04:56,863 --> 00:04:59,042 Oh, and... And Dad, listen to this. 122 00:04:59,066 --> 00:05:00,943 When he... He took out his notebook 123 00:05:00,967 --> 00:05:03,380 to write me the ticket, his pen... 124 00:05:03,404 --> 00:05:04,714 You're not gonna believe this. 125 00:05:04,738 --> 00:05:06,782 His pen is dry. 126 00:05:06,806 --> 00:05:08,551 He can't write the ticket. 127 00:05:08,575 --> 00:05:12,087 I mean, he's laughing. He is gonna let me go. 128 00:05:12,111 --> 00:05:14,346 Mallory lent him her pen. 129 00:05:17,184 --> 00:05:19,984 Then I helped him spell your name right. 130 00:05:28,729 --> 00:05:30,006 Ooh, what have you got there? 131 00:05:30,030 --> 00:05:33,009 Oh, some old Father's Day cards from Jennifer, 132 00:05:33,033 --> 00:05:34,633 when I was still her father. 133 00:05:36,235 --> 00:05:37,547 I just don't get it, Elyse. 134 00:05:37,571 --> 00:05:39,616 Hey, Steven, really. You know, you're acting like 135 00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:42,451 this is the first time one of our children has grown up. 136 00:05:42,475 --> 00:05:44,187 Jen and I have always had something special. 137 00:05:44,211 --> 00:05:46,689 I mean, Mallory, uh... Mallory was shopping by herself 138 00:05:46,713 --> 00:05:48,713 by the time she was 6 months old. 139 00:05:49,983 --> 00:05:51,394 And Alex... 140 00:05:51,418 --> 00:05:55,431 Well, you can only get so close to Alex in... 141 00:05:55,455 --> 00:05:58,267 In a non-financial relationship. 142 00:05:59,326 --> 00:06:00,970 But 143 00:06:00,994 --> 00:06:02,305 Jennifer... 144 00:06:03,330 --> 00:06:04,307 I don't know. 145 00:06:04,331 --> 00:06:06,309 Jennifer used to come to me. 146 00:06:06,333 --> 00:06:08,411 I remember she used to call you her buddy. 147 00:06:08,435 --> 00:06:09,679 Yeah. I used to call her my buddy. 148 00:06:09,703 --> 00:06:10,680 I'd say, "Hi, Buddy." 149 00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:11,814 And she'd say, "Hi, Buddy." 150 00:06:11,838 --> 00:06:13,449 Heh. Sometimes we'd get confused. 151 00:06:13,473 --> 00:06:15,673 We wouldn't know who was who. 152 00:06:16,677 --> 00:06:18,822 I'm being ridiculous, aren't I? 153 00:06:18,846 --> 00:06:20,356 No, you're not being ridiculous. 154 00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:21,758 You're being a daddy. 155 00:06:21,782 --> 00:06:23,760 Sometimes the two are identical twins. 156 00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:28,397 Hi. Oh, hey, guys. 157 00:06:28,421 --> 00:06:30,533 How was your walk? It was very nice, Dad. 158 00:06:30,557 --> 00:06:33,770 Sorry we're late. We, uh, stopped and shot some baskets. 159 00:06:33,794 --> 00:06:34,904 Really? 160 00:06:34,928 --> 00:06:37,206 Hardly know this boy. 161 00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:38,574 How about a snack? 162 00:06:38,598 --> 00:06:40,210 Oh, no thanks, Mom. We're going upstairs. 163 00:06:40,234 --> 00:06:42,111 I wanna show Chuckie something. 164 00:06:42,135 --> 00:06:43,980 Well, there's nothing you can show him upstairs 165 00:06:44,004 --> 00:06:46,816 that you can't show him down here. 166 00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:49,686 I want to show him the upstairs. 167 00:06:49,710 --> 00:06:51,721 Wait, Jen. If going upstairs makes your dad uptight, 168 00:06:51,745 --> 00:06:53,323 what's the point? Why put him through it? 169 00:06:53,347 --> 00:06:55,546 What would you like to do, Mr. Keaton? 170 00:06:59,253 --> 00:07:02,432 Well, I don't know. We could, uh, set up the Ping-Pong table 171 00:07:02,456 --> 00:07:04,166 downstairs in the basement. 172 00:07:04,190 --> 00:07:06,235 Uh, play a couple of games. Hey, that sounds good. 173 00:07:06,259 --> 00:07:10,106 Well, listen, Ping-Pong's really a-a-a two-person game, 174 00:07:10,130 --> 00:07:12,411 so, uh... Catch you later, Chuck. 175 00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:14,432 Dad. 176 00:07:15,402 --> 00:07:16,812 Yeah. 177 00:07:16,836 --> 00:07:20,150 I'll call you back on the other phone, okay, Debbie? Bye. 178 00:07:20,174 --> 00:07:21,717 Hi, Dad. 179 00:07:21,741 --> 00:07:24,154 Uh, Jen, could we, uh, talk for a minute? 180 00:07:24,178 --> 00:07:26,956 I've got to call Debbie right back. It's crucial. 181 00:07:26,980 --> 00:07:28,558 Uh, maybe it could wait for just a second. 182 00:07:28,582 --> 00:07:31,383 We, uh... We haven't really done much talking lately. 183 00:07:33,053 --> 00:07:35,231 I miss you. 184 00:07:35,255 --> 00:07:37,166 I miss you too, Dad. 185 00:07:42,996 --> 00:07:44,974 Can I call Debbie back now? 186 00:07:44,998 --> 00:07:46,542 Come on, let's sit down... Sit down. 187 00:07:46,566 --> 00:07:48,678 Let's talk, buddy to buddy. 188 00:07:48,702 --> 00:07:49,934 Okay. 189 00:07:52,171 --> 00:07:54,183 You know, you used to call me buddy all the time. 190 00:07:54,207 --> 00:07:55,851 You never call me buddy anymore. 191 00:07:55,875 --> 00:07:57,487 Buddy is so babyish, Dad. 192 00:07:58,745 --> 00:08:00,912 You didn't think that when you were 3. 193 00:08:03,984 --> 00:08:06,028 What are you reading there? Seventeen. 194 00:08:06,052 --> 00:08:07,029 Uh, you're only 13. 195 00:08:07,053 --> 00:08:09,131 You shouldn't be reading that. 196 00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:11,436 You shouldn't be reading that for another four years, Jen. 197 00:08:15,929 --> 00:08:17,740 Well, let's... Let's see. 198 00:08:17,764 --> 00:08:20,410 What have we got here? Ah. 199 00:08:20,434 --> 00:08:24,079 "Twelve Ways to Shape Up in Time for the Prom." 200 00:08:24,103 --> 00:08:25,447 Too late for me now, huh? 201 00:08:30,310 --> 00:08:31,320 Why don't you...? I'll go... 202 00:08:31,344 --> 00:08:33,024 Call Debbie back. 203 00:08:34,881 --> 00:08:35,925 Hey, Dad. 204 00:08:35,949 --> 00:08:38,227 Where are you off to? 205 00:08:38,251 --> 00:08:39,495 Going downtown. 206 00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:42,064 Take some photographs of the scene of the crime. 207 00:08:42,088 --> 00:08:44,066 Gonna need some visual evidence, so I'll have proof 208 00:08:44,090 --> 00:08:47,136 of my innocence for my day in court. 209 00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:48,360 I like your thinking. 210 00:08:49,629 --> 00:08:52,408 You know, Dad, did I tell you that, uh, 211 00:08:52,432 --> 00:08:55,344 after that cop gave me the ticket, 212 00:08:55,368 --> 00:08:58,436 Mallory gave him a donation for the policeman's ball? 213 00:09:00,473 --> 00:09:02,151 Try to forget all that, Alex. 214 00:09:02,175 --> 00:09:04,854 Put your faith in the legal system. 215 00:09:04,878 --> 00:09:07,478 She should be in jail, Dad. 216 00:09:08,981 --> 00:09:10,226 Mom, can you go with me 217 00:09:10,250 --> 00:09:11,794 to the Sunflower Girls troop meeting 218 00:09:11,818 --> 00:09:13,396 after school on Thursday? 219 00:09:13,420 --> 00:09:15,030 On Thursday? Oh, honey, I can't. 220 00:09:15,054 --> 00:09:16,499 I've got a meeting at the office. 221 00:09:16,523 --> 00:09:19,168 The Kramers want me to go over the plans for their new house. 222 00:09:19,192 --> 00:09:21,003 Can't you make that for another day? 223 00:09:21,027 --> 00:09:22,805 Honey, I've already cancelled it twice. 224 00:09:22,829 --> 00:09:25,141 And if I don't get started on their plans for their home, 225 00:09:25,165 --> 00:09:27,210 they're gonna want to move in here with us. 226 00:09:27,234 --> 00:09:28,499 All right. 227 00:09:30,670 --> 00:09:32,148 All right, I'll reschedule it. 228 00:09:32,172 --> 00:09:33,172 Thanks, Mom. 229 00:09:41,314 --> 00:09:42,291 Hm. 230 00:09:42,315 --> 00:09:44,726 "Sunflower Girls Tea. 231 00:09:44,750 --> 00:09:47,263 "Come one, come all. Come join the fun. 232 00:09:47,287 --> 00:09:49,954 Tea. Talk. Treats." 233 00:09:51,625 --> 00:09:53,001 No, Steven. It's... It's not for you. 234 00:09:53,025 --> 00:09:54,804 It's for girls. 235 00:09:54,828 --> 00:09:58,196 Not so fast. It says, "Come one, come all." 236 00:10:00,567 --> 00:10:03,112 Look, honey, I know how much you want a shared experience 237 00:10:03,136 --> 00:10:05,181 with Jennifer, but... But this is not it. 238 00:10:05,205 --> 00:10:06,448 You won't fit in. 239 00:10:06,472 --> 00:10:07,984 Oh, really? Well, what do they do there? 240 00:10:08,008 --> 00:10:09,919 What's so special about the Sunflowers Girls Tea 241 00:10:09,943 --> 00:10:11,954 that I can't be a part of it? What goes on there, Elyse. 242 00:10:11,978 --> 00:10:13,256 What do they do? 243 00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:14,623 They sing songs. 244 00:10:14,647 --> 00:10:16,358 Are you implying that I can't sing songs? 245 00:10:16,382 --> 00:10:17,359 What songs? 246 00:10:17,383 --> 00:10:18,828 What songs do they sing? 247 00:10:18,852 --> 00:10:20,963 "I've Got... I've Got a Mule and Her Name is Sal." 248 00:10:20,987 --> 00:10:22,699 ♪ I've got a mule And her name is Sal ♪ 249 00:10:22,723 --> 00:10:24,734 ♪ Fifteen miles On the Erie Canal ♪ 250 00:10:24,758 --> 00:10:26,902 What else do they do? 251 00:10:26,926 --> 00:10:28,237 They talk about things. 252 00:10:28,261 --> 00:10:29,238 What kind of things? 253 00:10:29,262 --> 00:10:30,673 Well, things, Steven. 254 00:10:30,697 --> 00:10:34,243 Uh, hobbies, school, current events. 255 00:10:34,267 --> 00:10:36,078 Things that go on in their life. 256 00:10:36,102 --> 00:10:38,314 You kn... Girls' talk. Uh... 257 00:10:38,338 --> 00:10:40,282 And then they eat cookies. 258 00:10:40,306 --> 00:10:43,186 Are you implying that I can't...? Steven, it's a girls' club. 259 00:10:43,210 --> 00:10:44,387 It's not for you. 260 00:10:44,411 --> 00:10:46,189 Y... You'd be putting yourself in a place 261 00:10:46,213 --> 00:10:48,156 where you have no place. 262 00:10:48,180 --> 00:10:50,359 What place do I have in her life now, Elyse? 263 00:10:50,383 --> 00:10:52,428 I'm the invisible man. 264 00:10:52,452 --> 00:10:53,796 At least this gives me a shot. 265 00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:56,165 This gives me an identity. 266 00:10:56,189 --> 00:10:58,723 I'm a Sunflower Girl. 267 00:11:04,331 --> 00:11:06,275 I don't want Dad to take me. 268 00:11:06,299 --> 00:11:08,077 I just don't want him to. 269 00:11:08,101 --> 00:11:09,278 Come on, Jen. Keep it down. 270 00:11:09,302 --> 00:11:11,147 You don't want Dad to hear, do you? 271 00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:12,247 Maybe I do. 272 00:11:12,271 --> 00:11:13,549 You've got to let him go, Jen. 273 00:11:13,573 --> 00:11:15,351 It's part of growing up female in this house. 274 00:11:15,375 --> 00:11:17,653 He came to Sunflower Girls with you too? 275 00:11:17,677 --> 00:11:19,711 No. He came on a date with me. 276 00:11:21,580 --> 00:11:23,125 I was, uh, 13-and-a-half, 277 00:11:23,149 --> 00:11:26,395 and Brian Madigan took me to the movies. 278 00:11:26,419 --> 00:11:30,533 Brian sat on one side of me and, well, Dad sat on the other. 279 00:11:30,557 --> 00:11:31,801 When Brian put his arm around me, 280 00:11:31,825 --> 00:11:33,635 Dad put his arm around me too, 281 00:11:33,659 --> 00:11:36,594 and, uh... Well, they shook hands. 282 00:11:38,564 --> 00:11:40,075 Good morning, everybody. 283 00:11:40,099 --> 00:11:41,377 Except Mallory. 284 00:11:41,401 --> 00:11:42,912 Where are you going? 285 00:11:42,936 --> 00:11:44,546 I'm going down to traffic court. 286 00:11:44,570 --> 00:11:46,148 Good luck. 287 00:11:46,172 --> 00:11:48,784 Wouldn't need luck if it weren't for you, Mal. 288 00:11:48,808 --> 00:11:50,252 You would not be going to court, Alex, 289 00:11:50,276 --> 00:11:52,388 if you had just allowed me to keep driving. 290 00:11:52,412 --> 00:11:54,457 Is that it, Mallory? 291 00:11:54,481 --> 00:11:57,326 That is it. That's it isn't it? That's right. 292 00:11:57,350 --> 00:12:00,996 The reason that I wouldn't let you drive anymore 293 00:12:01,020 --> 00:12:03,332 is that my life 294 00:12:03,356 --> 00:12:06,023 was in sudden and immediate peril. 295 00:12:08,595 --> 00:12:10,038 I mean, you're driving, 296 00:12:10,062 --> 00:12:13,263 and people are leaping off the street into the bushes. 297 00:12:15,635 --> 00:12:18,436 You drive like you're playing tag. 298 00:12:19,572 --> 00:12:21,572 Don't lie, Alex. 299 00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:25,354 No. 300 00:12:25,378 --> 00:12:27,990 No, violence has no place here. 301 00:12:28,014 --> 00:12:31,160 I put my faith in our system of jurisprudence, 302 00:12:31,184 --> 00:12:33,162 and it shall vindicate me. 303 00:12:33,186 --> 00:12:36,399 I have photographs of the intersection, 304 00:12:36,423 --> 00:12:39,857 of the stop sign, and I have photographs of you. 305 00:12:45,364 --> 00:12:46,464 As well... 306 00:12:48,100 --> 00:12:50,679 as a report card 307 00:12:50,703 --> 00:12:53,504 and a recent IQ test. 308 00:12:58,945 --> 00:13:01,211 I think the judge will understand. 309 00:13:02,548 --> 00:13:05,527 No, he won't, 310 00:13:05,551 --> 00:13:08,519 because I'm gonna call him up and tell him you're lying. 311 00:13:09,089 --> 00:13:10,066 Mom! 312 00:13:10,090 --> 00:13:11,133 Mom! 313 00:13:11,157 --> 00:13:12,335 Hey. 314 00:13:12,359 --> 00:13:13,869 I'm ready for the meeting, buddy. Heh. 315 00:13:13,893 --> 00:13:14,893 Great, Dad. 316 00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:18,440 And I've been practicing the Sunflower Salute. 317 00:13:18,464 --> 00:13:19,697 Dad, I told you... 318 00:13:26,405 --> 00:13:29,451 Dad, I told you, we don't do that salute anymore. 319 00:13:29,475 --> 00:13:31,620 It's in the handbook, Jennifer. 320 00:13:31,644 --> 00:13:33,655 We just shake hands now. 321 00:13:33,679 --> 00:13:34,690 Okay. 322 00:13:35,715 --> 00:13:36,859 Look, I'll be, uh, 323 00:13:36,883 --> 00:13:38,527 back downstairs in about 15 minutes 324 00:13:38,551 --> 00:13:39,762 to take you to the meeting. 325 00:13:39,786 --> 00:13:41,364 That's fine, Dad, but just don't do the... 326 00:13:41,388 --> 00:13:43,220 Sunflower Goodbye? 327 00:13:50,063 --> 00:13:52,029 I think Dad needs to be watered. 328 00:13:53,566 --> 00:13:56,344 I'm in big trouble here, Alex. Help me out. 329 00:13:56,368 --> 00:13:58,180 Well, I could tell you what I'd do, if I were you. 330 00:13:58,204 --> 00:13:59,348 What? 331 00:13:59,372 --> 00:14:02,951 Well, Dad wants to spend time with you, right? 332 00:14:02,975 --> 00:14:04,319 Right. 333 00:14:04,343 --> 00:14:05,955 And time is money, right? 334 00:14:05,979 --> 00:14:07,623 Right. 335 00:14:07,647 --> 00:14:09,091 So if Dad wants to spend time with you, 336 00:14:09,115 --> 00:14:11,126 and time is money, 337 00:14:11,150 --> 00:14:14,596 then he'll spend money to be with you. 338 00:14:14,620 --> 00:14:17,922 See? So what you do is you charge him by the hour. 339 00:14:20,393 --> 00:14:22,259 Like, uh, 340 00:14:23,963 --> 00:14:26,708 five bucks for a walk in the park, 341 00:14:26,732 --> 00:14:29,779 eight bucks for a game of basketball. 342 00:14:29,803 --> 00:14:31,513 Now, uh... Now, be a sport and give him half off 343 00:14:31,537 --> 00:14:33,204 on Father's Day. 344 00:14:35,174 --> 00:14:37,886 That's a beautiful thought, Alex, 345 00:14:37,910 --> 00:14:39,288 but no thanks. 346 00:14:39,312 --> 00:14:40,923 Well, you can do what you want, buddy. 347 00:14:40,947 --> 00:14:42,914 I've got to go down to court. 348 00:14:49,556 --> 00:14:52,635 ♪ Low bridge, everybody down ♪ 349 00:14:52,659 --> 00:14:55,338 ♪ Low bridge For we're comin' to a town ♪ 350 00:14:55,362 --> 00:14:57,139 ♪ And you'll always know Your neighbor ♪ 351 00:14:57,163 --> 00:14:58,541 ♪ You'll always know your pal ♪ 352 00:14:58,565 --> 00:15:01,944 ♪ If you've ever navigated On the Erie Canal ♪ 353 00:15:01,968 --> 00:15:03,045 All right. 354 00:15:08,108 --> 00:15:10,852 Well, what do you say, Dad? Do you want to go now? 355 00:15:10,876 --> 00:15:13,055 We've been here three minutes, Jennifer. 356 00:15:13,079 --> 00:15:15,324 All right. That was very nice singing, girls. 357 00:15:15,348 --> 00:15:17,626 And now, on to the new business. 358 00:15:17,650 --> 00:15:19,595 I would like to welcome all the moms 359 00:15:19,619 --> 00:15:21,919 and... the dad. 360 00:15:23,789 --> 00:15:25,467 Mr. Keaton, nice that you could come, sir. 361 00:15:25,491 --> 00:15:27,469 Thank you, Mrs. Carpenter. I feel very much at home. 362 00:15:27,493 --> 00:15:28,937 In fact, I'd like to, uh, 363 00:15:28,961 --> 00:15:30,272 give you all a warm Sunflower... 364 00:15:30,296 --> 00:15:31,462 Dad. 365 00:15:34,033 --> 00:15:35,344 Well, now it's time 366 00:15:35,368 --> 00:15:38,447 for the roundtable. Oh, what's that? 367 00:15:38,471 --> 00:15:40,682 Well, once a month, we discuss some topic of interest 368 00:15:40,706 --> 00:15:42,251 to the Sunflower Girls. 369 00:15:42,275 --> 00:15:45,154 Oh, great. I'm, uh... I'm all ready. Camping? Boating? Hiking? 370 00:15:45,178 --> 00:15:46,822 Today, we're gonna talk about sex. 371 00:15:46,846 --> 00:15:48,712 I'm your guy. 372 00:15:49,749 --> 00:15:51,426 Did you say "sex?" 373 00:15:51,450 --> 00:15:52,794 Mm-hm. 374 00:15:52,818 --> 00:15:54,130 Dad, maybe you should go. Really. 375 00:15:54,154 --> 00:15:57,098 Non... Nonsense, Jennifer. I'm a Sunflower Dad. 376 00:15:57,122 --> 00:15:58,767 I think I can handle a matu... 377 00:15:58,791 --> 00:16:03,839 A mature discussion about, uh, what she said. 378 00:16:03,863 --> 00:16:06,041 Now, we're going to discuss our bodies 379 00:16:06,065 --> 00:16:08,310 as they blossom into womanhood, 380 00:16:08,334 --> 00:16:10,145 and about boys, and their bodies 381 00:16:10,169 --> 00:16:12,336 as they burst into manhood. 382 00:16:17,944 --> 00:16:19,588 I know that some of you have already gone out 383 00:16:19,612 --> 00:16:20,823 on dates with boys, 384 00:16:20,847 --> 00:16:23,592 and I want to talk about first experiences. 385 00:16:23,616 --> 00:16:26,495 And I want the younger girls to benefit from you older girls, 386 00:16:26,519 --> 00:16:28,063 so we're gonna go around the room, 387 00:16:28,087 --> 00:16:30,421 starting with you, Shelley. 388 00:16:31,424 --> 00:16:33,235 Well, on my first date, 389 00:16:33,259 --> 00:16:34,770 I went out with a guy in my class. 390 00:16:34,794 --> 00:16:36,138 I'm not gonna name names... 391 00:16:36,162 --> 00:16:37,906 Was it Larry Parker? 392 00:16:37,930 --> 00:16:39,397 That's right. 393 00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:44,046 Anyway, I went out with Larry, 394 00:16:44,070 --> 00:16:46,848 and all he wanted to do was fool around. 395 00:16:46,872 --> 00:16:48,417 What do you mean by "fool around?" 396 00:16:48,441 --> 00:16:50,285 I mean, he wanted to touch my body 397 00:16:50,309 --> 00:16:53,177 as it blossomed into womanhood. 398 00:16:58,417 --> 00:17:01,597 Boys are only interested in one thing: sex. 399 00:17:01,621 --> 00:17:03,520 Right, Mr. Keaton? 400 00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:10,272 Well... Well, uh... Wha...? What's your name? 401 00:17:10,296 --> 00:17:12,875 Alice. Well, Alice, 402 00:17:12,899 --> 00:17:14,877 some boys are very interested in sex. 403 00:17:14,901 --> 00:17:16,100 Were you? 404 00:17:17,603 --> 00:17:19,215 Well, uh, when I was a boy, 405 00:17:19,239 --> 00:17:21,450 I was interested in a lot of things. 406 00:17:21,474 --> 00:17:23,241 Was sex one of them? 407 00:17:25,644 --> 00:17:29,158 Well, I was interested in, uh, baseball, basketball, football. 408 00:17:29,182 --> 00:17:30,993 You're not answering the question. 409 00:17:31,017 --> 00:17:32,950 Get off my back, will you? 410 00:17:36,589 --> 00:17:38,801 I don't want to lie to you, uh, Alice. 411 00:17:38,825 --> 00:17:43,439 Uh, heh, I admit, there... There were some, uh, girls, 412 00:17:43,463 --> 00:17:46,241 uh, that, uh... 413 00:17:46,265 --> 00:17:47,676 I remember Marjorie McCracken. 414 00:17:47,700 --> 00:17:50,701 Boy, she had a body on her. 415 00:17:53,405 --> 00:17:55,851 Dad, I can't believe you're talking about this stuff. 416 00:17:55,875 --> 00:17:58,220 What can I do? She was hounding me. 417 00:17:58,244 --> 00:17:59,688 Dad, you're really embarrassing me. 418 00:17:59,712 --> 00:18:01,190 This is not the place for you to be. 419 00:18:01,214 --> 00:18:03,158 Why do you say that? Look around you, Dad. 420 00:18:03,182 --> 00:18:05,795 Do you see anyone else here who shaves? 421 00:18:05,819 --> 00:18:07,796 Jennifer, I just want to spend some time with you. 422 00:18:07,820 --> 00:18:10,632 I'm sorry, Dad, but this isn't the right place. 423 00:18:10,656 --> 00:18:13,257 If you don't leave, I will. 424 00:18:27,239 --> 00:18:30,753 Would anyone like to know how I did in court today? 425 00:18:30,777 --> 00:18:33,422 Well, let's see. 426 00:18:33,446 --> 00:18:34,446 Not good? 427 00:18:37,416 --> 00:18:38,515 I won. 428 00:18:40,286 --> 00:18:42,364 The judge loved me. 429 00:18:42,388 --> 00:18:44,900 Commended me on my thoroughness. 430 00:18:44,924 --> 00:18:47,391 Commiserated with me about Mallory. 431 00:18:49,795 --> 00:18:51,362 He has a sister. 432 00:18:53,065 --> 00:18:55,565 Not quite as aggravating, but close. 433 00:18:57,002 --> 00:18:59,014 Anyway, I won. He tore up the ticket. 434 00:18:59,038 --> 00:19:00,771 That's not good news? 435 00:19:02,575 --> 00:19:04,341 When I went out to the car, 436 00:19:08,314 --> 00:19:10,447 I found a parking ticket. 437 00:19:12,251 --> 00:19:14,997 When I went inside to complain, 438 00:19:15,021 --> 00:19:17,221 I got a jaywalking ticket. 439 00:19:21,694 --> 00:19:24,440 Don't you just love justice? 440 00:19:24,464 --> 00:19:25,996 It's so fair. 441 00:19:27,833 --> 00:19:28,833 Ah! 442 00:19:29,769 --> 00:19:31,009 Mom! 443 00:19:35,408 --> 00:19:37,952 It wasn't a good idea. 444 00:19:37,976 --> 00:19:40,889 Tried to stop me, but I... I wouldn't listen. 445 00:19:40,913 --> 00:19:43,392 I was wrong. Wrong again. 446 00:19:43,416 --> 00:19:45,327 I'm always wrong. 447 00:19:45,351 --> 00:19:46,461 Wanna tell me what happened? 448 00:19:46,485 --> 00:19:48,863 Maybe in a couple of years. 449 00:19:48,887 --> 00:19:51,200 I'm telling you, 450 00:19:51,224 --> 00:19:52,504 it was really something. 451 00:19:53,959 --> 00:19:57,928 I was talking about my sex life to the Sunflower Girls. 452 00:20:00,667 --> 00:20:02,433 I'm sorry I missed that. 453 00:20:04,837 --> 00:20:06,982 Jennifer was so embarrassed. She must think I'm the most 454 00:20:07,006 --> 00:20:10,019 ridiculous excuse for a father in the world. 455 00:20:10,043 --> 00:20:13,021 Oh. Do you know what Mark Twain said? 456 00:20:13,045 --> 00:20:15,891 Was he a Sunflower Dad? 457 00:20:15,915 --> 00:20:18,127 No. 458 00:20:18,151 --> 00:20:21,163 He said that... That when he was 14, 459 00:20:21,187 --> 00:20:22,698 his father was so ignorant, 460 00:20:22,722 --> 00:20:24,899 he couldn't stand to have him around. 461 00:20:24,923 --> 00:20:27,169 But by the time he turned 21, he was... 462 00:20:27,193 --> 00:20:28,770 He was astonished at how much the old man 463 00:20:28,794 --> 00:20:30,905 had learned in just seven years. 464 00:20:30,929 --> 00:20:31,996 Hm. 465 00:20:33,699 --> 00:20:34,976 She'll come back to you, Steven. 466 00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:37,367 It may take seven years, but she'll come back. 467 00:20:48,914 --> 00:20:50,826 I heard it didn't go so well. 468 00:20:50,850 --> 00:20:52,727 Let's just say that most of the Sunflower Girls 469 00:20:52,751 --> 00:20:54,385 are still in shock. 470 00:20:55,955 --> 00:20:57,732 Honey, 471 00:20:57,756 --> 00:21:01,836 he only went because he cares so much about you. 472 00:21:01,860 --> 00:21:03,738 That's hard to believe. 473 00:21:03,762 --> 00:21:05,840 Well, it's true. 474 00:21:05,864 --> 00:21:09,211 And the day will come when you'll look back on this fondly, 475 00:21:09,235 --> 00:21:11,813 and... And you'll realize what a... 476 00:21:11,837 --> 00:21:14,070 A wonderful father you have. 477 00:21:21,581 --> 00:21:25,093 Ah, I guess you don't wanna see the Sunflower Salute, huh? 478 00:21:25,117 --> 00:21:27,729 Not at the moment, no. 479 00:21:27,753 --> 00:21:30,065 I made a mistake, Jen. I tried to force myself 480 00:21:30,089 --> 00:21:32,601 in somewhere where I, uh... 481 00:21:32,625 --> 00:21:35,136 I didn't belong. 482 00:21:35,160 --> 00:21:36,605 But I only did it because I missed you. 483 00:21:36,629 --> 00:21:38,640 I... 484 00:21:38,664 --> 00:21:40,609 I miss talking to you, walking in the park with you, 485 00:21:40,633 --> 00:21:43,245 throwing the ball back and forth. 486 00:21:43,269 --> 00:21:45,681 You mean, if I would have gone to the park with you, 487 00:21:45,705 --> 00:21:47,015 none of this would have happened? 488 00:21:47,039 --> 00:21:48,839 Well, it's not as simple as that, Jen. 489 00:21:50,510 --> 00:21:52,821 You know, when you were born, when I picked you up 490 00:21:52,845 --> 00:21:54,223 for the first time, and our eyes met, 491 00:21:54,247 --> 00:21:56,592 right then, I signed on for life. 492 00:21:56,616 --> 00:21:58,227 I knew that I would... 493 00:21:58,251 --> 00:22:01,129 I would care for you, protect you, 494 00:22:01,153 --> 00:22:03,032 teach you, 495 00:22:03,056 --> 00:22:04,566 love you. 496 00:22:04,590 --> 00:22:06,601 And you've done all those things. 497 00:22:06,625 --> 00:22:08,837 All of a sudden, it seemed like you didn't need me anymore. 498 00:22:08,861 --> 00:22:11,206 You didn't want to be with me. 499 00:22:11,230 --> 00:22:13,108 Well, it hurt. 500 00:22:13,132 --> 00:22:15,310 I didn't mean to hurt you, Dad. 501 00:22:15,334 --> 00:22:16,545 It's just that I've changed. 502 00:22:16,569 --> 00:22:18,268 I can't help it. 503 00:22:19,438 --> 00:22:21,283 Look at me, Dad. 504 00:22:21,307 --> 00:22:23,885 I'm 13 years old now. 505 00:22:23,909 --> 00:22:26,121 I'm not a little girl anymore. 506 00:22:26,145 --> 00:22:27,889 I know that. I-I'm just trying to find ways 507 00:22:27,913 --> 00:22:29,992 that I can still fit into your life. 508 00:22:30,016 --> 00:22:32,382 Well, it's not as a Sunflower Girl. 509 00:22:34,420 --> 00:22:37,131 I learned that the hard way. 510 00:22:37,155 --> 00:22:39,134 Look, Dad, this is a hard time for me. 511 00:22:39,158 --> 00:22:44,006 So much is changing at school and with my friends. 512 00:22:44,030 --> 00:22:46,842 It's just so hard to keep up with everything. 513 00:22:46,866 --> 00:22:50,479 Well, I only wish I was able to help you through this. 514 00:22:50,503 --> 00:22:52,481 I think the easiest thing for you to do 515 00:22:52,505 --> 00:22:54,550 is to not push too hard. 516 00:22:54,574 --> 00:22:57,753 Not a little girl anymore. 517 00:22:57,777 --> 00:23:00,188 I guess I'd better get used to that, huh? 518 00:23:00,212 --> 00:23:02,924 You've got no choice. 519 00:23:02,948 --> 00:23:05,916 I can't help it. I just keep growing. 520 00:23:09,055 --> 00:23:10,055 Tsk. 521 00:23:12,091 --> 00:23:14,235 I'm really gonna miss the old times. 522 00:23:14,259 --> 00:23:16,538 It's not gonna be like that anymore, huh? 523 00:23:16,562 --> 00:23:20,197 Maybe it'll be better, buddy. 34994

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