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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:12,413 --> 00:00:14,491 ♪ I'll bet We've been together ♪ 2 00:00:14,515 --> 00:00:17,894 ♪ For a million years ♪ 3 00:00:17,918 --> 00:00:20,263 ♪ And I'll bet We'll be together ♪ 4 00:00:20,287 --> 00:00:23,566 ♪ For a million more ♪ 5 00:00:23,590 --> 00:00:25,868 ♪ Ooh, it's like I started breathin' ♪ 6 00:00:25,892 --> 00:00:28,839 ♪ On the night we kissed ♪ 7 00:00:28,863 --> 00:00:30,773 ♪ And I can't remember ♪ 8 00:00:30,797 --> 00:00:34,377 ♪ What I ever did before ♪ 9 00:00:34,401 --> 00:00:37,180 ♪ What would we do, baby ♪ 10 00:00:37,204 --> 00:00:38,737 ♪ Without us? ♪ 11 00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:42,685 ♪ What would we do, baby ♪ 12 00:00:42,709 --> 00:00:45,355 ♪ Without us? ♪ 13 00:00:45,379 --> 00:00:48,024 ♪ And there ain't No nothin' ♪ 14 00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:49,960 ♪ We can't love Each other through ♪ 15 00:00:49,984 --> 00:00:51,361 ♪ Ooh-hoo ♪ 16 00:00:51,385 --> 00:00:54,131 ♪ What would we do, baby ♪ 17 00:00:54,155 --> 00:00:56,966 ♪ Without us? ♪ 18 00:00:56,990 --> 00:01:00,359 ♪ Sha-la-la-la ♪ 19 00:01:03,430 --> 00:01:05,275 So, uh, basically, what we're looking for 20 00:01:05,299 --> 00:01:06,977 is one more helping hand around the house 21 00:01:07,001 --> 00:01:08,545 while my wife is off her feet. 22 00:01:08,569 --> 00:01:10,413 Then help with the baby after it's born. 23 00:01:10,437 --> 00:01:13,049 Uh, light housework, uh, 24 00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:15,085 shopping, errands, cooking, that kind of thing. 25 00:01:15,109 --> 00:01:17,976 I believe the, uh, salary is listed there in the ad. 26 00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:21,680 I thought it was a misprint. 27 00:01:26,286 --> 00:01:29,032 Uh, no, that's... That's the right figure. 28 00:01:29,056 --> 00:01:32,068 But you have three children, Mr. Keaton. 29 00:01:32,092 --> 00:01:33,669 What you're offering me is barely enough 30 00:01:33,693 --> 00:01:35,671 if you have two children. 31 00:01:35,695 --> 00:01:37,207 Either you'll have to pay me more, 32 00:01:37,231 --> 00:01:39,764 or get rid of one of your children. 33 00:01:43,303 --> 00:01:46,416 Um, I, uh, take it you don't like children? 34 00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:48,651 Children make messes, 35 00:01:48,675 --> 00:01:50,353 all kinds of messes. 36 00:01:50,377 --> 00:01:52,055 And messes make germs, 37 00:01:52,079 --> 00:01:55,625 nasty little germs. 38 00:01:55,649 --> 00:01:58,094 And germs carry disease, 39 00:01:58,118 --> 00:02:01,331 disease which erodes the living tissue, 40 00:02:01,355 --> 00:02:03,522 the very fiber of life. 41 00:02:08,294 --> 00:02:09,728 We'll be in touch. 42 00:02:14,535 --> 00:02:16,901 Believe me, this has been a pleasure. 43 00:02:21,875 --> 00:02:23,241 I liked her. 44 00:02:24,645 --> 00:02:26,590 Dad, there's one more person left to interview. 45 00:02:26,614 --> 00:02:27,757 All right. 46 00:02:27,781 --> 00:02:29,392 Maybe we'll be lucky this time, Alex. 47 00:02:29,416 --> 00:02:31,327 Uh, send her in, Jen. 48 00:02:31,351 --> 00:02:32,384 Come on in. 49 00:02:37,091 --> 00:02:39,202 Show him your tattoo, Max. 50 00:02:39,226 --> 00:02:40,570 My pleasure. 51 00:02:40,594 --> 00:02:42,605 Uh, we really don't need to see it. 52 00:02:42,629 --> 00:02:44,440 You sure? No charge. 53 00:02:44,464 --> 00:02:47,243 I'm sure. Uh, girls, why don't you go upstairs, 54 00:02:47,267 --> 00:02:48,511 keep Mom company? 55 00:02:48,535 --> 00:02:50,680 Oh, okay. Bye, Max. 56 00:02:50,704 --> 00:02:51,947 Bye, doll face. 57 00:02:54,909 --> 00:02:57,053 I'm, uh, Steven Keaton, 58 00:02:57,077 --> 00:02:58,855 and this is, uh, my son Alex. 59 00:02:58,879 --> 00:03:00,356 Max Schneider. Charmed. 60 00:03:00,380 --> 00:03:02,460 Yeah, uh, please sit down. 61 00:03:02,783 --> 00:03:05,862 So, um, you want to be a housekeeper? 62 00:03:05,886 --> 00:03:08,019 That's right. Housekeeper and nanny. 63 00:03:11,325 --> 00:03:12,605 And can you cook? 64 00:03:13,327 --> 00:03:15,394 Julia Child is my aunt. 65 00:03:17,431 --> 00:03:19,676 Um, how are you with children? 66 00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:22,601 Great. I got kids all over the world. 67 00:03:24,804 --> 00:03:28,117 Uh, now, these are just routine questions. 68 00:03:28,141 --> 00:03:29,953 Uh, let's, uh... 69 00:03:29,977 --> 00:03:32,497 Have you ever been in prison? 70 00:03:33,314 --> 00:03:35,079 Six years. 71 00:03:37,785 --> 00:03:40,063 Well, we'll be in touch. 72 00:03:40,087 --> 00:03:41,397 Hey, you know, 73 00:03:41,421 --> 00:03:44,034 I got really good vibes about you people. 74 00:03:44,058 --> 00:03:47,203 This here could finally be my niche. 75 00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:50,095 Well, uh, thank you very much for coming, Mr. Schneider. 76 00:03:52,032 --> 00:03:55,544 Did I mention that I know how to operate a drill press? 77 00:03:55,568 --> 00:03:57,513 Uh, n-no, no. No, you didn't. 78 00:03:57,537 --> 00:03:59,148 Put it down, kid, huh? 79 00:03:59,172 --> 00:04:00,238 Take care. 80 00:04:02,509 --> 00:04:03,775 I think... 81 00:04:06,914 --> 00:04:08,858 I think I've had about enough of this for one night. 82 00:04:08,882 --> 00:04:11,060 You can screen anyone else who comes along. 83 00:04:11,084 --> 00:04:14,397 If you see anyone good, uh, I'll be upstairs working. 84 00:04:14,421 --> 00:04:17,033 Give me a call. Okay, Dad. 85 00:04:17,057 --> 00:04:18,468 Whoa. 86 00:04:18,492 --> 00:04:20,325 Coming, coming. 87 00:04:24,331 --> 00:04:26,843 Hello, I'm Karen Nicholson. 88 00:04:26,867 --> 00:04:29,033 I've come to apply for the housekeeping position. 89 00:04:34,240 --> 00:04:35,785 You have? 90 00:04:35,809 --> 00:04:36,908 Yes. 91 00:04:37,977 --> 00:04:40,077 Uh, come in, come in. 92 00:04:42,048 --> 00:04:43,215 Uh, here. 93 00:04:45,485 --> 00:04:46,585 Thank you. 94 00:04:48,455 --> 00:04:50,895 Won't you please sit down? 95 00:04:54,695 --> 00:04:55,772 Okay. 96 00:04:55,796 --> 00:04:57,940 I, uh, have a few questions here 97 00:04:57,964 --> 00:04:59,898 I must ask you. 98 00:05:01,435 --> 00:05:02,701 Uh... 99 00:05:04,504 --> 00:05:07,064 Uh, do you have any references? 100 00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:09,152 No. 101 00:05:09,176 --> 00:05:11,521 Uh, do you, uh, have any experience 102 00:05:11,545 --> 00:05:13,456 a-a-as a housekeeper? 103 00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:14,813 No. 104 00:05:16,383 --> 00:05:17,360 Okay. 105 00:05:17,384 --> 00:05:18,795 Uh, can you cook? 106 00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:20,897 Uh, cook? 107 00:05:20,921 --> 00:05:22,286 No. 108 00:05:25,192 --> 00:05:27,637 So you, uh... You have no experience, 109 00:05:27,661 --> 00:05:28,772 uh, no references, 110 00:05:28,796 --> 00:05:30,673 and, uh... And you can't cook. 111 00:05:30,697 --> 00:05:32,130 That's right. 112 00:05:35,769 --> 00:05:37,034 You're hired. 113 00:05:38,339 --> 00:05:40,483 Congratulations. 114 00:05:40,507 --> 00:05:43,385 Come on, Dad, have a little faith in my judgment, okay? 115 00:05:43,409 --> 00:05:44,688 As soon as you get to know her, 116 00:05:44,712 --> 00:05:46,656 you will realize that I made the correct decision. 117 00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:47,790 That is not the point, Alex. 118 00:05:47,814 --> 00:05:49,225 You had no right to hire anyone 119 00:05:49,249 --> 00:05:50,593 without consulting me first. 120 00:05:50,617 --> 00:05:52,529 Well, Dad, I knew you were working, 121 00:05:52,553 --> 00:05:55,164 and I didn't see any point in bothering you. 122 00:05:55,188 --> 00:05:57,333 Besides, Dad, in my wildest imaginations, 123 00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:59,490 I couldn't dream of a better woman... 124 00:06:03,329 --> 00:06:04,829 for the job. 125 00:06:06,133 --> 00:06:08,211 Is that Miss Nicholson here yet? 126 00:06:08,235 --> 00:06:10,079 Nope, nope, not yet. 127 00:06:10,103 --> 00:06:13,817 I hope you didn't hire some dumpy-looking old lady, Alex. 128 00:06:13,841 --> 00:06:15,418 Jennifer, you shouldn't be so concerned 129 00:06:15,442 --> 00:06:17,308 with the way a person looks. 130 00:06:20,847 --> 00:06:23,047 How can you be so shallow? 131 00:06:25,018 --> 00:06:26,362 I hired the person 132 00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:28,163 who I thought was best for the job. 133 00:06:28,187 --> 00:06:30,722 I don't even remember what she looked like. 134 00:06:32,759 --> 00:06:34,604 Hi, Alex. 135 00:06:34,628 --> 00:06:35,727 Hi, Karen. 136 00:06:37,865 --> 00:06:40,345 Is it coming back to you, Alex? 137 00:06:41,201 --> 00:06:43,546 Uh, ahem, Dad, Jennifer, Mallory, 138 00:06:43,570 --> 00:06:47,049 I would like you to meet our new housekeeper. 139 00:06:47,073 --> 00:06:49,485 It's nice to meet all of you. I'm Karen Nicholson. 140 00:06:49,509 --> 00:06:50,920 Hi. Our pleasure. 141 00:06:50,944 --> 00:06:53,490 Alex didn't mention he had two sisters. 142 00:06:53,514 --> 00:06:54,612 I forgot. 143 00:06:56,016 --> 00:06:57,459 Oh, that's for us. 144 00:06:57,483 --> 00:06:58,495 Bye. Bye. 145 00:06:58,519 --> 00:06:59,896 It was nice meeting you. Thank you. 146 00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:01,164 Yeah, um, see you later. 147 00:07:01,188 --> 00:07:02,788 Okay, bye. 148 00:07:03,991 --> 00:07:05,101 Well, hey, uh, 149 00:07:05,125 --> 00:07:06,836 why don't we all get better acquainted, huh? 150 00:07:06,860 --> 00:07:09,305 Let's... Let's sit down. Good idea. Come on, Karen. 151 00:07:09,329 --> 00:07:11,663 Ah, I'll get that, Dad. 152 00:07:13,066 --> 00:07:14,677 There we go. 153 00:07:14,701 --> 00:07:16,579 Mr. Keaton... Watch the table, Karen. 154 00:07:16,603 --> 00:07:18,415 It's a little wobbly. Oh, yeah. 155 00:07:18,439 --> 00:07:21,383 Mr. Keaton, I just want to thank you so much for this job. 156 00:07:21,407 --> 00:07:23,620 You have no idea how much it means to me. 157 00:07:23,644 --> 00:07:25,955 Well, uh, Alex told me how well the interview went 158 00:07:25,979 --> 00:07:29,125 and, uh, based on that, I have complete confidence in you. 159 00:07:29,149 --> 00:07:31,227 I am so relieved to hear you say that. 160 00:07:31,251 --> 00:07:32,995 You know, in your ad, you said you were looking 161 00:07:33,019 --> 00:07:34,930 for someone with experience as a housekeeper. 162 00:07:34,954 --> 00:07:37,588 When I read that I didn't figure I had a shot. 163 00:07:43,129 --> 00:07:44,808 Uh, you, uh... You have no experience? 164 00:07:44,832 --> 00:07:48,244 Well, Dad, she means she has no experience 165 00:07:48,268 --> 00:07:50,713 in the literal sense. 166 00:07:50,737 --> 00:07:52,681 But as Jean-Paul Sartre said, 167 00:07:52,705 --> 00:07:55,051 isn't the act of simply being alive, 168 00:07:55,075 --> 00:07:56,219 you know, suffering through 169 00:07:56,243 --> 00:07:58,621 the existential angst that is life, 170 00:07:58,645 --> 00:08:02,392 isn't that...? 171 00:08:02,416 --> 00:08:05,683 Isn't that the best kind of experience... 172 00:08:07,520 --> 00:08:09,754 for being a housekeeper? 173 00:08:17,697 --> 00:08:19,664 You ever see Sartre's house? 174 00:08:24,538 --> 00:08:26,381 I'm a quick learner, Mr. Keaton, you'll see, 175 00:08:26,405 --> 00:08:28,852 and I'm very eager to get started. 176 00:08:28,876 --> 00:08:31,521 Well, there is something to be said for enthusiasm. 177 00:08:31,545 --> 00:08:32,722 Absolutely. 178 00:08:32,746 --> 00:08:35,791 It's the most important trait in a housekeeper. 179 00:08:35,815 --> 00:08:38,082 That, and a little button nose. 180 00:08:43,590 --> 00:08:46,168 I do have something you can do, uh, Karen. 181 00:08:46,192 --> 00:08:47,870 My wife should be getting up soon 182 00:08:47,894 --> 00:08:49,505 and she's going to want some breakfast. 183 00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:51,474 I've got to get going here, so would you mind? 184 00:08:51,498 --> 00:08:52,642 What does she like to eat? 185 00:08:52,666 --> 00:08:54,510 Well, a couple of eggs, usually. 186 00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:56,745 Eggs. No problem. 187 00:08:56,769 --> 00:08:58,136 Eggs... 188 00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:01,373 Eggs? 189 00:09:02,175 --> 00:09:04,108 In the refrigerator. 190 00:09:07,146 --> 00:09:08,306 Hey. 191 00:09:10,350 --> 00:09:11,828 How...? How does she like them? 192 00:09:11,852 --> 00:09:13,785 Uh, a little boiled. Okay. 193 00:09:15,556 --> 00:09:17,716 There we go. Thanks. 194 00:09:17,791 --> 00:09:19,157 Okay. 195 00:09:23,329 --> 00:09:24,773 That's not right, is it? 196 00:09:24,797 --> 00:09:26,175 No, no, no, that's... That's okay. 197 00:09:26,199 --> 00:09:28,011 I mean, some people boil eggs one way, 198 00:09:28,035 --> 00:09:30,079 and some people... 199 00:09:30,103 --> 00:09:31,670 boil them another. 200 00:09:32,939 --> 00:09:35,417 That's what makes America great. 201 00:09:35,441 --> 00:09:36,986 I could tape it up. 202 00:09:37,010 --> 00:09:39,055 Uh, n... 203 00:09:39,079 --> 00:09:40,657 Uh, no, no, um, 204 00:09:40,681 --> 00:09:42,781 she doesn't like them taped. 205 00:09:44,051 --> 00:09:45,861 Well, here, I'd better start over again. 206 00:09:45,885 --> 00:09:46,951 Oh! 207 00:09:50,424 --> 00:09:52,256 I'll get that tape. 208 00:09:55,695 --> 00:09:57,272 I'm having so much fun. 209 00:09:57,296 --> 00:09:59,742 This is the first load of laundry I've ever done here. 210 00:09:59,766 --> 00:10:01,243 Come to think of it, it's the first load 211 00:10:01,267 --> 00:10:02,378 of laundry I've ever done. 212 00:10:02,402 --> 00:10:03,513 I don't believe it. 213 00:10:03,537 --> 00:10:04,880 You've never done laundry before? 214 00:10:04,904 --> 00:10:06,115 That's right. 215 00:10:06,139 --> 00:10:07,505 I believe her. 216 00:10:14,547 --> 00:10:16,281 Those were Dad's. 217 00:10:19,853 --> 00:10:21,693 We'll just give them to Alex. 218 00:10:24,291 --> 00:10:25,668 Hi. 219 00:10:25,692 --> 00:10:27,069 Alex, I'm glad you're here. 220 00:10:27,093 --> 00:10:29,105 Karen, I'm glad you're here. 221 00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:30,673 I need you to help me carry the table. 222 00:10:30,697 --> 00:10:32,909 I... I took it outside to even up the legs a little bit. 223 00:10:32,933 --> 00:10:34,276 Oh, great. Hey, let's celebrate. 224 00:10:34,300 --> 00:10:36,460 How about, uh, dinner and a show? 225 00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:40,049 Yeah, I love having Karen around. 226 00:10:40,073 --> 00:10:42,285 She's like the big sister I never had. 227 00:10:42,309 --> 00:10:44,275 Yeah, I feel the same way. 228 00:10:50,183 --> 00:10:52,094 I... I mean, uh, 229 00:10:52,118 --> 00:10:54,718 the even bigger sister I've never had. 230 00:10:56,389 --> 00:10:57,533 Okay, watch your back. 231 00:10:57,557 --> 00:10:58,667 Here we go. 232 00:10:58,691 --> 00:10:59,902 I hope this will be all right. 233 00:10:59,926 --> 00:11:01,170 I worked on it all day. 234 00:11:01,194 --> 00:11:03,639 Oh, I'm sure it'll be fine, Karen. 235 00:11:03,663 --> 00:11:04,774 Here we go. Thanks. 236 00:11:04,798 --> 00:11:06,064 There we go. 237 00:11:15,007 --> 00:11:17,553 Maybe it'll look okay with the good china on it. 238 00:11:17,577 --> 00:11:19,221 - Ah, that'll do it. - Hey, good idea. 239 00:11:19,245 --> 00:11:21,545 Great idea. Okay. 240 00:11:27,253 --> 00:11:29,399 Think Dad will notice? 241 00:11:29,423 --> 00:11:31,968 Only if he keeps his eyes open. 242 00:11:31,992 --> 00:11:33,202 Karen is so nice. 243 00:11:33,226 --> 00:11:35,338 I don't want her to get into trouble. 244 00:11:35,362 --> 00:11:36,572 Now, now, she doesn't have to. 245 00:11:36,596 --> 00:11:38,441 Not... Not if the three of us stick together 246 00:11:38,465 --> 00:11:40,776 and help her through this little crisis. 247 00:11:40,800 --> 00:11:42,645 I think she's great. 248 00:11:42,669 --> 00:11:44,046 All right. Okay, then it's settled. 249 00:11:44,070 --> 00:11:46,315 Listen, why don't we go help her with that china, okay? 250 00:11:49,643 --> 00:11:51,283 Oops. 251 00:12:12,298 --> 00:12:15,166 Uh, hey, hi, Dad. Have a good day? 252 00:12:16,903 --> 00:12:19,114 Fine. What happened to the table? 253 00:12:19,138 --> 00:12:21,884 The, uh... The what? 254 00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:22,951 The table. 255 00:12:22,975 --> 00:12:26,322 That table used to be a lot higher. 256 00:12:26,346 --> 00:12:29,391 May... May... Maybe you just shot up at work, Dad. 257 00:12:29,415 --> 00:12:31,782 You wear lifts? Uh-huh. All right. 258 00:12:33,319 --> 00:12:34,930 Hi, Mr. Keaton. How was your day? 259 00:12:34,954 --> 00:12:36,499 Uh, not... Not too bad. 260 00:12:36,523 --> 00:12:38,033 Say, Karen, would you happen to know...? 261 00:12:38,057 --> 00:12:41,103 Oh, Daddy, we love you so much. 262 00:12:41,127 --> 00:12:42,938 Where did you get that tailored? 263 00:12:42,962 --> 00:12:44,240 It looks great. Okay, fine. 264 00:12:44,264 --> 00:12:46,409 Would... Would you happen to know 265 00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:48,076 what happened to that table? 266 00:12:48,100 --> 00:12:50,067 Oh, I fixed it. 267 00:12:52,372 --> 00:12:53,750 You fixed it? 268 00:12:53,774 --> 00:12:56,052 Let's, uh, set the table, girls. 269 00:12:56,076 --> 00:12:57,586 Mr. Keaton, I just want you to know 270 00:12:57,610 --> 00:12:59,889 this has been the best day of my life. 271 00:12:59,913 --> 00:13:01,290 I spent three hours with your wife. 272 00:13:01,314 --> 00:13:03,526 I can tell you she's a wonderful woman. 273 00:13:03,550 --> 00:13:04,727 Thank you. 274 00:13:04,751 --> 00:13:06,662 And Mallory and... And Jenny here, 275 00:13:06,686 --> 00:13:08,764 I just feel like I've known them all day. 276 00:13:08,788 --> 00:13:11,634 Of course, I have. 277 00:13:11,658 --> 00:13:12,768 And this boy here... 278 00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:15,359 Oh, he's like the brother I never had. 279 00:13:16,896 --> 00:13:18,996 Don't... Don't think of me as your brother. 280 00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:23,079 Think... Think of me as a guy. 281 00:13:23,103 --> 00:13:26,282 The... The... The guy you never had. 282 00:13:26,306 --> 00:13:28,405 Actually, the guy you could have. 283 00:13:29,943 --> 00:13:31,708 Come on, everybody, let's eat. - Great. 284 00:13:33,112 --> 00:13:36,926 Okay. Boy, I'm looking forward to this, Karen. 285 00:13:36,950 --> 00:13:38,449 This is gonna be good. 286 00:13:39,652 --> 00:13:41,664 I know you're really gonna love this salad. 287 00:13:47,226 --> 00:13:49,104 Yum. 288 00:13:49,128 --> 00:13:50,962 Boy, looks good. 289 00:13:52,432 --> 00:13:54,832 Got to admit, Dad. She's working out, huh? 290 00:14:00,373 --> 00:14:01,383 Yo. 291 00:14:01,407 --> 00:14:02,684 Hey, Dad. 292 00:14:02,708 --> 00:14:04,075 Hi, Alex. 293 00:14:06,179 --> 00:14:08,290 How...? Uh, how did things go around the house today? 294 00:14:08,314 --> 00:14:09,625 Oh, great. Great, Dad. 295 00:14:09,649 --> 00:14:11,494 Karen is doing great. 296 00:14:11,518 --> 00:14:13,396 You know, she only broke the, uh, vacuum, 297 00:14:13,420 --> 00:14:16,098 the blender and the TV. 298 00:14:16,122 --> 00:14:18,301 She's getting better. 299 00:14:18,325 --> 00:14:20,536 Yeah, and she... She fixed the stuff she broke yesterday. 300 00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:23,673 The, uh, toaster, sink and washing machine. 301 00:14:23,697 --> 00:14:25,274 So... So we're not gaining any ground, 302 00:14:25,298 --> 00:14:27,218 but, uh, we're not losing any. 303 00:14:28,067 --> 00:14:29,767 We're holding steady, Dad. 304 00:14:31,838 --> 00:14:34,783 Hey, hey, can I fix you a cold drink? 305 00:14:34,807 --> 00:14:36,485 Uh, the ice maker's not working, Alex. 306 00:14:36,509 --> 00:14:38,087 Karen broke it a week ago. No, no, no, no. 307 00:14:38,111 --> 00:14:39,688 She told me that she took care of it today. 308 00:14:39,712 --> 00:14:41,912 I'll get it myself, Alex. Thanks. 309 00:14:52,491 --> 00:14:55,259 So, uh, how was your day at school, Alex? 310 00:14:56,630 --> 00:14:58,174 Real good. Real good, Dad. 311 00:14:58,198 --> 00:15:02,178 No, no. I... I mean specifically that, uh, that English class. 312 00:15:02,202 --> 00:15:05,169 You, uh... You said you were having a little trouble with it. 313 00:15:10,844 --> 00:15:13,022 Doing great, Dad. I'm doing great. 314 00:15:13,046 --> 00:15:14,411 Here, uh, hang on a sec. 315 00:15:15,581 --> 00:15:16,881 Take a look at that. 316 00:15:30,196 --> 00:15:33,542 So, uh... So how are the rest of your classes? 317 00:15:33,566 --> 00:15:36,345 Good, Dad, good. I am, uh, really glad I chose Leland. 318 00:15:36,369 --> 00:15:37,980 You know, and the Economics department's 319 00:15:38,004 --> 00:15:40,364 everything I hoped it would be. 320 00:15:50,116 --> 00:15:51,749 Who are we kidding, Alex? 321 00:15:55,588 --> 00:15:57,700 She's not working out. 322 00:15:57,724 --> 00:15:59,802 She's totally incompetent. 323 00:15:59,826 --> 00:16:01,270 She has got to go. 324 00:16:01,294 --> 00:16:04,095 Dad, will you quit being such a perfectionist? 325 00:16:08,768 --> 00:16:12,248 Alex, Alex... 326 00:16:12,272 --> 00:16:13,837 Alex, look around you. 327 00:16:16,776 --> 00:16:18,476 I'm afraid to, Dad. 328 00:16:19,846 --> 00:16:23,792 Alex, this woman cannot do one thing we need her to do. 329 00:16:23,816 --> 00:16:25,261 Okay, well, Dad, let's keep thinking 330 00:16:25,285 --> 00:16:27,229 until we think of something that she can do. 331 00:16:27,253 --> 00:16:28,297 Wha...? 332 00:16:28,321 --> 00:16:29,465 We have to fire her, Alex, 333 00:16:29,489 --> 00:16:30,999 for our own safety. 334 00:16:31,023 --> 00:16:32,023 Look... 335 00:16:32,792 --> 00:16:33,912 look. 336 00:16:35,695 --> 00:16:37,862 If this had been a Pop-Tart, 337 00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:42,299 we'd be dead now. 338 00:16:43,870 --> 00:16:45,648 Dad... 339 00:16:45,672 --> 00:16:48,651 Dad, look, think of Mallory and Jennifer. 340 00:16:48,675 --> 00:16:50,052 They... They love Karen. 341 00:16:50,076 --> 00:16:53,088 Th-this is gonna be very upsetting to them, 342 00:16:53,112 --> 00:16:55,545 not to mention my fantasy life. 343 00:16:59,652 --> 00:17:01,930 We had a fabulous day. 344 00:17:01,954 --> 00:17:05,322 Yeah, I've never seen so many fat, naked women in my life. 345 00:17:06,526 --> 00:17:08,325 Where did you go, the Y? 346 00:17:09,662 --> 00:17:11,574 We saw the Rubens Exhibit at the Art Institute. 347 00:17:11,598 --> 00:17:13,309 It was great. 348 00:17:13,333 --> 00:17:16,145 Yeah, Karen took us out for ice cream afterwards. 349 00:17:16,169 --> 00:17:17,546 We had so much junk food today, 350 00:17:17,570 --> 00:17:20,304 we could go without eating for a week. 351 00:17:21,807 --> 00:17:23,285 Good planning, Karen. 352 00:17:23,309 --> 00:17:24,720 Thank you. 353 00:17:24,744 --> 00:17:26,655 Karen, uh, 354 00:17:26,679 --> 00:17:28,824 I'm glad you had a nice time with the girls. 355 00:17:28,848 --> 00:17:30,025 Oh, it was fantastic. 356 00:17:30,049 --> 00:17:31,193 But, uh... 357 00:17:31,217 --> 00:17:32,961 Well, you've got some responsibilities 358 00:17:32,985 --> 00:17:34,596 in the house too. 359 00:17:34,620 --> 00:17:36,698 I know, that's what I love about this job. 360 00:17:36,722 --> 00:17:39,601 See, I can be indoors or outdoors. 361 00:17:39,625 --> 00:17:41,370 Well, excuse me, I'm gonna go tell Mrs. Keaton 362 00:17:41,394 --> 00:17:43,314 about all the fun we had today. 363 00:17:45,365 --> 00:17:47,799 You make every day fun, Karen. 364 00:17:49,969 --> 00:17:51,402 Alex. 365 00:17:54,107 --> 00:17:56,718 I know, Dad. She's got to go. 366 00:17:56,742 --> 00:18:00,122 I just wanted to get one last compliment in. 367 00:18:00,146 --> 00:18:03,392 W-w-we have to fire her. We have no choice. 368 00:18:03,416 --> 00:18:05,361 All right, Dad, okay, 369 00:18:05,385 --> 00:18:07,529 but let's do it as humanely as possible, okay? 370 00:18:07,553 --> 00:18:09,064 All right. I've got an idea. 371 00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:10,499 Look, 372 00:18:10,523 --> 00:18:13,269 let's have the two of us take her out to dinner. 373 00:18:13,293 --> 00:18:15,333 Probably the only way we'll get something to eat. 374 00:18:16,796 --> 00:18:18,874 You know, we'll... We'll... We'll show her a good time, 375 00:18:18,898 --> 00:18:21,343 uh, and, uh, kinda squeeze the firing in 376 00:18:21,367 --> 00:18:24,946 between, "pass the salt" and "check, please." 377 00:18:24,970 --> 00:18:26,982 Pass the salt, please, Alex. 378 00:18:27,006 --> 00:18:28,806 So soon, Dad? 379 00:18:31,243 --> 00:18:34,123 Karen, um, I'd like to talk to you about your work. 380 00:18:34,147 --> 00:18:36,525 Oh, you know, I'm enjoying myself so much at my new job, 381 00:18:36,549 --> 00:18:38,469 it doesn't even seem like work to me. 382 00:18:40,219 --> 00:18:43,232 It doesn't seem like work to us, either. 383 00:18:43,256 --> 00:18:45,167 Good evening. 384 00:18:45,191 --> 00:18:47,636 Oh, hey. It's the Keatons. 385 00:18:47,660 --> 00:18:49,972 Dad, it's him. It's the... 386 00:18:49,996 --> 00:18:51,239 Convict, huh? 387 00:18:51,263 --> 00:18:52,708 Is that what you were gonna say? 388 00:18:52,732 --> 00:18:55,711 No. I was gonna say, "Dad, it's him, 389 00:18:55,735 --> 00:18:56,900 the nanny." 390 00:18:59,305 --> 00:19:00,449 You know each other? 391 00:19:00,473 --> 00:19:02,217 Yeah, I applied for a job 392 00:19:02,241 --> 00:19:04,587 as their housekeeper, but they turned me down. 393 00:19:04,611 --> 00:19:05,921 Oh, really? 394 00:19:05,945 --> 00:19:08,991 I feel so guilty. They hired me. 395 00:19:09,015 --> 00:19:11,415 I wonder why they took you instead of me. 396 00:19:13,519 --> 00:19:15,452 What did you wear to the interview? 397 00:19:16,723 --> 00:19:18,868 I wore my blue dress with black heels. 398 00:19:18,892 --> 00:19:20,290 Heels! 399 00:19:24,263 --> 00:19:25,629 I knew it, I knew it. 400 00:19:27,233 --> 00:19:29,778 I guess you got a lot of experience as a housekeeper. 401 00:19:29,802 --> 00:19:31,880 No. I've had no experience. 402 00:19:31,904 --> 00:19:34,738 Well, we all know what Sartre says about experience. 403 00:19:40,346 --> 00:19:43,025 Karen, uh, we need to talk. 404 00:19:43,049 --> 00:19:44,360 I know. We do. 405 00:19:44,384 --> 00:19:46,195 You're a very nice person. 406 00:19:46,219 --> 00:19:48,597 Nice? Come on, Dad. You're more than nice. 407 00:19:48,621 --> 00:19:49,965 Excuse me, I have to interrupt you. 408 00:19:49,989 --> 00:19:52,000 I'm really starting to feel guilty, here. 409 00:19:52,024 --> 00:19:53,168 What do you mean? 410 00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:54,537 Well, you take me out to dinner 411 00:19:54,561 --> 00:19:56,961 at a wonderful medium-priced restaurant. 412 00:19:58,864 --> 00:20:00,442 You treat me like one of your family 413 00:20:00,466 --> 00:20:02,511 and now you're saying all these nice things about me, 414 00:20:02,535 --> 00:20:04,914 but I've let you down. 415 00:20:04,938 --> 00:20:06,382 You have? 416 00:20:06,406 --> 00:20:09,751 I know I've probably kept it hidden from you, 417 00:20:09,775 --> 00:20:12,843 but I'm not a good housekeeper. 418 00:20:14,313 --> 00:20:16,325 Really? 419 00:20:16,349 --> 00:20:18,060 It's been bothering me ever since I started. 420 00:20:18,084 --> 00:20:20,029 I never should have taken this job. 421 00:20:20,053 --> 00:20:22,397 I came into your house and ruined everything. 422 00:20:22,421 --> 00:20:23,465 Well, not everything. 423 00:20:23,489 --> 00:20:24,866 Look, let's face it, okay? 424 00:20:24,890 --> 00:20:26,501 I'm a failure. I'm not good at anything, 425 00:20:26,525 --> 00:20:27,703 and I never will be. 426 00:20:27,727 --> 00:20:30,406 Karen, stop putting yourself down like this. 427 00:20:30,430 --> 00:20:33,275 This isn't the first job that hasn't worked out for me. 428 00:20:33,299 --> 00:20:36,378 Don't feel bad. I... I'll just move on to something else. 429 00:20:36,402 --> 00:20:39,737 Oh, no, no, no, no, Karen, please stay. 430 00:20:47,213 --> 00:20:48,457 It's been wonderful, 431 00:20:48,481 --> 00:20:50,225 but I can't do this any longer. 432 00:20:50,249 --> 00:20:51,682 Karen... 433 00:20:53,819 --> 00:20:56,520 Boy, having a housekeeper is hard work. 434 00:20:57,590 --> 00:20:58,767 I know, but it's worth it 435 00:20:58,791 --> 00:21:00,703 to keep Karen around though. 436 00:21:00,727 --> 00:21:02,070 Hi. 437 00:21:02,094 --> 00:21:03,405 Uh, hi. 438 00:21:03,429 --> 00:21:04,974 Hi. 439 00:21:04,998 --> 00:21:06,775 Uh, where's Karen? 440 00:21:06,799 --> 00:21:08,566 Uh, girls, sit down. 441 00:21:09,802 --> 00:21:13,448 Uh, look, um, Karen, uh... 442 00:21:13,472 --> 00:21:15,317 Karen won't be working for us anymore. 443 00:21:15,341 --> 00:21:16,919 You fired her? 444 00:21:16,943 --> 00:21:20,122 No. 445 00:21:20,146 --> 00:21:22,657 Certainly not. 446 00:21:22,681 --> 00:21:23,992 Pfft. 447 00:21:24,016 --> 00:21:26,316 They think that we would fire Karen. 448 00:21:28,254 --> 00:21:30,933 We... We tried to fire her. 449 00:21:30,957 --> 00:21:33,535 She quit before we got around to it. 450 00:21:33,559 --> 00:21:34,837 And you let her quit? 451 00:21:34,861 --> 00:21:37,539 She knew that she wasn't doing a good job. 452 00:21:37,563 --> 00:21:39,541 So, what does that have to do with anything? 453 00:21:39,565 --> 00:21:41,276 She was my friend. 454 00:21:41,300 --> 00:21:42,644 She was all of our friends. 455 00:21:42,668 --> 00:21:45,113 I know, I know, 456 00:21:45,137 --> 00:21:46,615 but we set out to find a housekeeper, 457 00:21:46,639 --> 00:21:47,983 not a friend. 458 00:21:48,007 --> 00:21:50,508 Well, I'm really gonna miss seeing her. 459 00:21:51,944 --> 00:21:53,644 That goes triple for me. 460 00:21:57,016 --> 00:22:00,662 Everything in this kitchen reminds me of her. 461 00:22:00,686 --> 00:22:02,531 Yeah. This is the stove, 462 00:22:02,555 --> 00:22:04,187 she didn't know how to use. 463 00:22:06,359 --> 00:22:09,759 And the sink where she used to always break our dishes. 464 00:22:11,063 --> 00:22:13,797 And the toaster where she started a fire. 465 00:22:15,467 --> 00:22:16,934 I think I'm gonna cry. 466 00:22:18,571 --> 00:22:21,082 Well, it's gonna be tough breaking this to your mom. 467 00:22:21,106 --> 00:22:22,584 She was in the middle of teaching Karen 468 00:22:22,608 --> 00:22:24,175 how to roll socks. 469 00:22:29,148 --> 00:22:32,527 Well, look who's here. 470 00:22:32,551 --> 00:22:34,696 Good to see you, Karen. 471 00:22:34,720 --> 00:22:36,497 Uh, Mr. Keaton, 472 00:22:36,521 --> 00:22:39,735 I've been doing a lot of thinking. 473 00:22:39,759 --> 00:22:41,091 Alex. 474 00:22:42,628 --> 00:22:44,572 Mr. Keaton, 475 00:22:44,596 --> 00:22:47,643 I've been doing a lot of thinking, and... 476 00:22:47,667 --> 00:22:49,011 Well, see, I've spent my whole life 477 00:22:49,035 --> 00:22:50,378 running away from things, 478 00:22:50,402 --> 00:22:52,914 and I've decided it's time for me to stop running. 479 00:22:52,938 --> 00:22:55,316 I really want to make a success of this job, 480 00:22:55,340 --> 00:22:56,517 and you want me to stay, 481 00:22:56,541 --> 00:22:59,922 so I think it would be wrong for me to leave. 482 00:22:59,946 --> 00:23:03,247 Nothing could be wronger, right, Dad? 483 00:23:04,951 --> 00:23:06,428 Let's give it another try. 484 00:23:06,452 --> 00:23:08,196 Yay! Hey, Karen. 485 00:23:08,220 --> 00:23:10,032 Oh, thanks, Mr. Keaton. 486 00:23:10,056 --> 00:23:12,000 I want you to know I'm really gonna try to improve. 487 00:23:12,024 --> 00:23:14,302 I know I wasn't doing a good job before, 488 00:23:14,326 --> 00:23:16,438 but that's gonna change. You'll be surprised. 489 00:23:16,462 --> 00:23:18,240 Great. Well, you can start again tomorrow. 490 00:23:18,264 --> 00:23:19,474 No, no. I wanna start right now. 491 00:23:19,498 --> 00:23:20,709 I know I ruined your dinner, 492 00:23:20,733 --> 00:23:22,811 so I'd like to make you all something to eat. 493 00:23:22,835 --> 00:23:24,315 No! 32123

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