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♪ I'll bet We've been together ♪
2
00:00:14,515 --> 00:00:17,927
♪ For a million years ♪
3
00:00:17,951 --> 00:00:20,096
♪ And I'll bet
We'll be together ♪
4
00:00:20,120 --> 00:00:23,599
♪ For a million more ♪
5
00:00:23,623 --> 00:00:25,868
♪ Ooh, it's like I
started breathin' ♪
6
00:00:25,892 --> 00:00:28,872
♪ On the night we kissed ♪
7
00:00:28,896 --> 00:00:34,277
♪ And I can't remember
What I ever did before ♪
8
00:00:34,301 --> 00:00:37,180
♪ What would we do, baby ♪
9
00:00:37,204 --> 00:00:38,737
♪ Without us? ♪
10
00:00:40,073 --> 00:00:42,718
♪ What would we do, baby ♪
11
00:00:42,742 --> 00:00:45,355
♪ Without us? ♪
12
00:00:45,379 --> 00:00:48,057
♪ And there ain't No nothin' ♪
13
00:00:48,081 --> 00:00:49,960
♪ We can't love
Each other through ♪
14
00:00:49,984 --> 00:00:51,261
♪ Ooh-hoo ♪
15
00:00:51,285 --> 00:00:54,131
♪ What would we do, baby ♪
16
00:00:54,155 --> 00:00:56,966
♪ Without us? ♪
17
00:00:56,990 --> 00:01:00,359
♪ Sha-la-la-la ♪
18
00:01:04,264 --> 00:01:06,076
Okay, Dad, I'm ready.
19
00:01:06,100 --> 00:01:08,645
I got the ground cloth,
tent, and canteen.
20
00:01:08,669 --> 00:01:11,447
I've got the tackle box,
the lantern, the stove.
21
00:01:11,471 --> 00:01:15,185
The stove? I thought we
were really gonna rough it,
22
00:01:15,209 --> 00:01:17,653
live off the land,
cook on an open fire.
23
00:01:17,677 --> 00:01:19,389
Well, if it were up to
me, Jennifer, we would,
24
00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:20,523
but let's face it,
25
00:01:20,547 --> 00:01:22,125
I don't think your
brother or your sister
26
00:01:22,149 --> 00:01:25,917
share our enthusiasm
for the great outdoors.
27
00:01:30,056 --> 00:01:32,735
All right, let's
get this over with.
28
00:01:32,759 --> 00:01:36,005
We're going to be camping,
Alex, not gathering honey.
29
00:01:36,029 --> 00:01:38,397
Why limit ourselves, Dad?
30
00:01:41,434 --> 00:01:43,213
Can one of you fit this
in your backpack for me?
31
00:01:43,237 --> 00:01:45,115
I don't have any
more room in here.
32
00:01:45,139 --> 00:01:47,150
What are you going to do
with the hair dryer, Mallory?
33
00:01:47,174 --> 00:01:48,918
We're going to be out
in the middle of nowhere.
34
00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:50,386
Where are you gonna plug it in?
35
00:01:50,410 --> 00:01:52,944
Aren't we bringing any outlets?
36
00:01:56,850 --> 00:01:59,551
Uh, why don't you kids
start getting the car packed?
37
00:02:02,589 --> 00:02:04,967
Hey, why don't you bring
every article of clothing you own?
38
00:02:04,991 --> 00:02:06,403
You know, we can
move out of the tent.
39
00:02:06,427 --> 00:02:08,193
You can use it as a closet.
40
00:02:09,596 --> 00:02:11,429
You'd do that for me?
41
00:02:15,268 --> 00:02:16,712
Oh, I'm glad you're still here.
42
00:02:16,736 --> 00:02:18,147
I was afraid I was
gonna miss you.
43
00:02:18,171 --> 00:02:19,749
You're sure to don't
want to come with us?
44
00:02:19,773 --> 00:02:20,917
Oh, honey, I can't.
45
00:02:20,941 --> 00:02:23,419
I got to get this project
finished by Monday.
46
00:02:23,443 --> 00:02:26,089
I've been so tired lately, I
wouldn't be much fun anyway.
47
00:02:26,113 --> 00:02:27,423
I don't know what's wrong.
48
00:02:27,447 --> 00:02:29,659
I just haven't had my
normal energy for weeks.
49
00:02:29,683 --> 00:02:31,594
Maybe the kids and I should
stay home this weekend.
50
00:02:31,618 --> 00:02:32,995
Oh, come on. I... I'm fine.
51
00:02:33,019 --> 00:02:35,365
You guys have been looking
forward to this for a long time.
52
00:02:35,389 --> 00:02:38,268
Well, I would hate
to break Alex's heart.
53
00:02:38,292 --> 00:02:41,103
He does so love the woods.
54
00:02:41,127 --> 00:02:42,539
You go have a good time.
55
00:02:42,563 --> 00:02:44,907
There's nothing to worry about.
I saw Dr. Carlson yesterday,
56
00:02:44,931 --> 00:02:46,809
and she gave me
every test there is.
57
00:02:46,833 --> 00:02:49,078
She said I'm a perfectly
healthy human specimen
58
00:02:49,102 --> 00:02:50,546
at the peak of my womanhood.
59
00:02:50,570 --> 00:02:52,637
My sentiments precisely.
60
00:02:56,476 --> 00:02:58,143
I feel like a piece
of day-old liver.
61
00:02:59,846 --> 00:03:02,959
Don't go getting
me all excited, Elyse.
62
00:03:02,983 --> 00:03:05,294
I've got to take
the kids camping.
63
00:03:05,318 --> 00:03:07,430
Okay, Dad, let's go. I'm
not getting any younger.
64
00:03:07,454 --> 00:03:09,699
All right, I'm ready.
65
00:03:09,723 --> 00:03:11,567
We'll grab some
breakfast on the road.
66
00:03:11,591 --> 00:03:12,969
You sure you can't
come with us, Mom?
67
00:03:12,993 --> 00:03:14,537
Oh, I've got too
much work to do.
68
00:03:14,561 --> 00:03:16,706
All right, well, it's not going
to be the same without you.
69
00:03:16,730 --> 00:03:19,009
Who's gonna chop the firewood?
70
00:03:19,033 --> 00:03:21,265
I will, as usual.
71
00:03:22,636 --> 00:03:24,380
I just want everyone to see
72
00:03:24,404 --> 00:03:27,883
that in the spirit of
getting back to nature,
73
00:03:27,907 --> 00:03:31,676
I've decided to go
with a clear nail polish.
74
00:03:46,827 --> 00:03:48,238
Hello, Mrs. Keaton.
75
00:03:48,262 --> 00:03:50,973
I hope I'm not too late.
76
00:03:50,997 --> 00:03:52,308
Huh?
77
00:03:52,332 --> 00:03:54,577
Mallory invited
me to lunch today.
78
00:03:54,601 --> 00:03:57,081
Oh, Mallory's not here.
She's gone camping.
79
00:03:57,637 --> 00:04:00,183
Camping?
80
00:04:00,207 --> 00:04:01,952
I see.
81
00:04:01,976 --> 00:04:03,853
This is this Saturday, isn't it?
82
00:04:03,877 --> 00:04:07,490
Well, Mallory's been planning
on going camping for weeks.
83
00:04:07,514 --> 00:04:10,694
That explains why
she invited me.
84
00:04:10,718 --> 00:04:12,062
Well, it's all right.
85
00:04:12,086 --> 00:04:14,519
I don't need lunch.
86
00:04:16,156 --> 00:04:18,368
Of course, I didn't
have any breakfast.
87
00:04:18,392 --> 00:04:21,103
You know, breakfast, the
most important meal of the day,
88
00:04:21,127 --> 00:04:22,338
which, of course, lunch becomes
89
00:04:22,362 --> 00:04:25,308
if you haven't
eaten any breakfast,
90
00:04:25,332 --> 00:04:27,811
which I haven't.
91
00:04:27,835 --> 00:04:29,646
How does peanut
butter and jelly sound?
92
00:04:29,670 --> 00:04:33,249
Well, my mother always
says I should have a hot lunch.
93
00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:34,917
I'll heat it for you.
94
00:04:34,941 --> 00:04:37,654
Great. It's really
lonely at my house.
95
00:04:37,678 --> 00:04:40,790
My parents went to Dayton
for a symposium on aging:
96
00:04:40,814 --> 00:04:43,359
"Making the most of
your twilight years."
97
00:04:43,383 --> 00:04:45,895
I can see why you
choose not to join them.
98
00:04:45,919 --> 00:04:47,596
Yeah. I think I got all I could
99
00:04:47,620 --> 00:04:50,166
out of the first
two in the series.
100
00:04:50,190 --> 00:04:52,468
Make yourself at home, Skippy.
101
00:04:52,492 --> 00:04:54,270
Thanks. Yeah, actually,
102
00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:55,438
I'm kind of glad you dropped by.
103
00:04:55,462 --> 00:04:57,040
It was getting a little
lonely here for me
104
00:04:57,064 --> 00:04:58,073
with everybody gone.
105
00:04:58,097 --> 00:04:59,475
Well, Mrs. Keaton,
don't you worry,
106
00:04:59,499 --> 00:05:01,144
I'll make you an
excellent companion.
107
00:05:01,168 --> 00:05:03,613
Would you care for
a game of jacks? No.
108
00:05:03,637 --> 00:05:05,637
Or perhaps some yo-yo tricks?
109
00:05:14,948 --> 00:05:15,948
Hello?
110
00:05:17,184 --> 00:05:19,962
Oh, hi, Dr. Carlson.
How are you?
111
00:05:19,986 --> 00:05:22,346
Oh, you do. Okay,
yeah, go ahead.
112
00:05:23,123 --> 00:05:24,756
No.
113
00:05:25,892 --> 00:05:27,303
What? No.
114
00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:30,172
No, I-I don't believe you.
115
00:05:30,196 --> 00:05:31,329
No!
116
00:05:32,499 --> 00:05:34,344
Doctor, wait a minute, you...
117
00:05:34,368 --> 00:05:35,578
I don't believe this.
118
00:05:35,602 --> 00:05:37,682
Y-y-you said it was
virtually impossible...
119
00:05:39,606 --> 00:05:40,839
We did.
120
00:05:41,942 --> 00:05:44,554
I am.
121
00:05:44,578 --> 00:05:46,255
No.
122
00:05:46,279 --> 00:05:47,745
Really?
123
00:05:51,885 --> 00:05:53,363
Okay, okay.
124
00:05:53,387 --> 00:05:54,486
Bye.
125
00:05:57,190 --> 00:05:58,434
What is it, Mrs. Keaton?
126
00:05:58,458 --> 00:06:00,558
Nothing. Why do you ask?
127
00:06:03,263 --> 00:06:06,008
No reason.
128
00:06:06,032 --> 00:06:08,243
Steve. Steven.
129
00:06:08,267 --> 00:06:09,946
I've got to call Steven.
130
00:06:09,970 --> 00:06:12,047
He's in a tent.
He's in the woods.
131
00:06:12,071 --> 00:06:14,149
Didn't take a phone in the tent.
132
00:06:14,173 --> 00:06:16,952
I don't believe this.
This is incredible.
133
00:06:16,976 --> 00:06:18,521
There must be some mistake.
134
00:06:18,545 --> 00:06:19,556
She's a doctor.
135
00:06:19,580 --> 00:06:20,956
She knows what
she's talking about.
136
00:06:24,317 --> 00:06:26,162
Mrs. Keaton, are you sick?
137
00:06:26,186 --> 00:06:28,465
No. I feel fine.
138
00:06:28,489 --> 00:06:29,688
That's great.
139
00:06:32,592 --> 00:06:35,271
Skippy, you're not
gonna believe this.
140
00:06:35,295 --> 00:06:36,494
What?
141
00:06:38,231 --> 00:06:40,231
We're going to have a baby.
142
00:06:43,570 --> 00:06:45,236
We are?
143
00:06:53,780 --> 00:06:56,180
Gitchee, gitchee,
gitchee, gitchee, gitchee.
144
00:06:56,850 --> 00:06:59,228
Oh, Steven.
145
00:06:59,252 --> 00:07:01,998
Steven. Oh.
146
00:07:02,022 --> 00:07:04,433
Uh, Steven.
147
00:07:04,457 --> 00:07:07,837
Sit down for a second.
Let me tell you something.
148
00:07:07,861 --> 00:07:10,540
Uh, do you remember that weekend
149
00:07:10,564 --> 00:07:13,009
we spent at that bed
and breakfast place
150
00:07:13,033 --> 00:07:15,166
and skipped breakfast?
151
00:07:16,803 --> 00:07:18,336
No.
152
00:07:21,275 --> 00:07:24,942
Steven, how many people
do you think are in this room?
153
00:07:29,215 --> 00:07:30,715
No.
154
00:07:32,552 --> 00:07:34,464
Steven, Steven,
155
00:07:34,488 --> 00:07:36,065
do you remember
how you always said
156
00:07:36,089 --> 00:07:37,967
that we have the
three most wonderful,
157
00:07:37,991 --> 00:07:39,769
thoughtful, considerate children
158
00:07:39,793 --> 00:07:40,793
in the whole world?
159
00:07:41,995 --> 00:07:43,706
Those are the
three most selfish,
160
00:07:43,730 --> 00:07:47,065
spoiled, inconsiderate
children in the world.
161
00:07:48,802 --> 00:07:50,980
What happened? How come
you're home a day early?
162
00:07:51,004 --> 00:07:53,716
Elyse, this is not my
idea of a relaxing drive
163
00:07:53,740 --> 00:07:55,020
up into the mountains:
164
00:07:57,410 --> 00:07:58,410
Oh.
165
00:07:59,946 --> 00:08:01,458
Alex, it's an honest mistake.
166
00:08:01,482 --> 00:08:03,559
It could have
happened to anybody.
167
00:08:03,583 --> 00:08:06,296
Not anybody who walks erect.
168
00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:07,563
What happened?
169
00:08:07,587 --> 00:08:08,964
Well, thanks to Mallory,
170
00:08:08,988 --> 00:08:11,200
we went camping without a tent.
171
00:08:11,224 --> 00:08:12,301
Wait a minute. I saw your dad
172
00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:14,203
put the tent in
the trunk himself.
173
00:08:14,227 --> 00:08:16,472
Yeah, Mom, what you didn't
see was Mallory taking the tent
174
00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:18,941
out of the trunk to make
room for her makeup table.
175
00:08:18,965 --> 00:08:20,677
I didn't think it was
anything important.
176
00:08:20,701 --> 00:08:24,280
I thought it was just
Alex's sleeping bag.
177
00:08:24,304 --> 00:08:27,116
Where was I supposed
to sleep, Mallory, in a tree?
178
00:08:27,140 --> 00:08:28,784
Where's Jennifer?
179
00:08:28,808 --> 00:08:30,619
Well, I told her to
take our gear down
180
00:08:30,643 --> 00:08:31,954
off the luggage rack.
181
00:08:34,881 --> 00:08:36,659
Jennifer, leave the gear!
182
00:08:36,683 --> 00:08:38,449
Just come inside!
183
00:08:40,153 --> 00:08:41,898
Why did you tell her to do that?
184
00:08:41,922 --> 00:08:44,833
Dad, I knew she was
disappointed about the camping trip,
185
00:08:44,857 --> 00:08:46,535
so I thought this was a good way
186
00:08:46,559 --> 00:08:48,993
for her to get some fresh air.
187
00:08:54,901 --> 00:08:56,934
Look at those rosy cheeks.
188
00:08:58,205 --> 00:09:00,016
I couldn't get the
sleeping bag untied.
189
00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:01,717
They were up too high.
190
00:09:01,741 --> 00:09:03,619
Hey, uh, the ladder is
in the garage, Jennifer.
191
00:09:03,643 --> 00:09:04,987
Alex.
192
00:09:05,011 --> 00:09:06,523
Alex, you think you're
the boss over me.
193
00:09:06,547 --> 00:09:08,791
He thinks he's the boss
over everybody, Jennifer.
194
00:09:08,815 --> 00:09:09,815
Now what's the matter?
195
00:09:11,718 --> 00:09:14,230
Hold it! Hold it!
196
00:09:14,254 --> 00:09:16,488
Up to your rooms, now.
197
00:09:29,002 --> 00:09:31,113
Uh, Dad,
198
00:09:31,137 --> 00:09:32,982
I think I'm a little old
199
00:09:33,006 --> 00:09:35,284
to be sent to my room.
200
00:09:35,308 --> 00:09:37,319
You're also too old
to be whining in the car
201
00:09:37,343 --> 00:09:39,188
the whole way back.
202
00:09:39,212 --> 00:09:40,978
I wasn't whining.
203
00:09:42,382 --> 00:09:43,948
Get up there.
204
00:09:48,354 --> 00:09:49,966
Honey. Elyse.
205
00:09:49,990 --> 00:09:53,369
Do you remember how these
camping trips used to be?
206
00:09:53,393 --> 00:09:55,873
Just the two of us
up there in the woods,
207
00:09:56,930 --> 00:10:00,276
with the stars, the
moon, a little fire going.
208
00:10:00,300 --> 00:10:01,477
Mm-hm.
209
00:10:01,501 --> 00:10:03,861
Oh, boy. I miss those days.
210
00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:06,448
I mean, I love the kids,
Elyse, you know that,
211
00:10:06,472 --> 00:10:08,550
but I'll tell you, part of
me is really looking forward
212
00:10:08,574 --> 00:10:10,152
to the day when
the kids are grown
213
00:10:10,176 --> 00:10:12,696
and it'll be just
the two of us again.
214
00:10:14,848 --> 00:10:16,325
Are you really?
215
00:10:16,349 --> 00:10:17,961
I am tired,
216
00:10:17,985 --> 00:10:19,261
I am cranky,
217
00:10:19,285 --> 00:10:22,064
I am fed up.
218
00:10:22,088 --> 00:10:23,933
Just do not mention
the word "kid" to me,
219
00:10:23,957 --> 00:10:24,967
we'll be okay.
220
00:10:24,991 --> 00:10:27,236
God.
221
00:10:27,260 --> 00:10:28,540
Okay, I'll try.
222
00:10:29,663 --> 00:10:32,542
Did you...? Did you
get the test results
223
00:10:32,566 --> 00:10:33,676
from your physical?
224
00:10:33,700 --> 00:10:36,545
You're not making it easy on me.
225
00:10:36,569 --> 00:10:39,203
What did Dr. Carlson
have to say?
226
00:10:41,374 --> 00:10:43,252
Well, my blood
pressure's a little low.
227
00:10:43,276 --> 00:10:45,287
Nothing to worry about.
228
00:10:45,311 --> 00:10:47,945
Uh, triglycerides, never better.
229
00:10:49,382 --> 00:10:51,902
I'm the perfect height
for someone my age.
230
00:10:53,019 --> 00:10:55,831
Oh, I almost forgot,
231
00:10:55,855 --> 00:10:57,121
I'm pregnant.
232
00:11:07,701 --> 00:11:09,812
Well,
233
00:11:09,836 --> 00:11:11,970
anything else happen
while I was gone?
234
00:11:13,473 --> 00:11:15,117
Your suit came back
from the cleaners.
235
00:11:15,141 --> 00:11:18,187
This is a big day.
236
00:11:18,211 --> 00:11:21,657
Um, who else knows about this?
237
00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:23,292
Only you and Skippy.
238
00:11:23,316 --> 00:11:24,316
Oh, of course.
239
00:11:30,123 --> 00:11:32,301
I-I thought you'd be happy.
240
00:11:32,325 --> 00:11:34,870
I'm happy. I'm happy.
241
00:11:34,894 --> 00:11:36,839
Don't I look happy?
242
00:11:36,863 --> 00:11:37,973
You look shocked.
243
00:11:37,997 --> 00:11:39,608
Uh, I am.
244
00:11:39,632 --> 00:11:41,877
I'm shocked and happy.
245
00:11:41,901 --> 00:11:43,033
I'm shappy.
246
00:11:46,006 --> 00:11:47,383
You're babbling.
247
00:11:47,407 --> 00:11:49,018
I am. I'm babbling
248
00:11:49,042 --> 00:11:52,188
and I'm shocked and I'm happy.
249
00:11:52,212 --> 00:11:53,244
I'm bashappy.
250
00:11:56,116 --> 00:11:58,494
We always said we'd
welcome a new baby.
251
00:11:58,518 --> 00:12:00,329
Well, I-I-I know.
252
00:12:00,353 --> 00:12:03,799
I-I just didn't think
we'd get the chance to.
253
00:12:03,823 --> 00:12:06,335
I mean, after Jennifer was born,
254
00:12:06,359 --> 00:12:09,026
the doctor said,
uh, that was it.
255
00:12:12,365 --> 00:12:13,764
I mean, the chances...
256
00:12:15,402 --> 00:12:19,281
The chances of your getting
pregnant again were very slim.
257
00:12:19,305 --> 00:12:23,152
But you do welcome
this baby, don't you?
258
00:12:23,176 --> 00:12:25,587
I do. I do. Of course I do.
259
00:12:25,611 --> 00:12:27,022
It's just I'm, uh...
260
00:12:27,046 --> 00:12:29,258
Bashappy.
261
00:12:30,717 --> 00:12:33,229
It's just beginning
to dawn on me.
262
00:12:33,253 --> 00:12:34,663
A baby.
263
00:12:34,687 --> 00:12:35,831
This is incredible.
264
00:12:35,855 --> 00:12:38,456
This is... This is fantastic.
265
00:12:41,560 --> 00:12:44,306
Uh, Dad, listen,
266
00:12:44,330 --> 00:12:45,574
the three of us were talking
267
00:12:45,598 --> 00:12:46,709
about all that car stuff,
268
00:12:46,733 --> 00:12:48,253
and, well, we're
sorry, you know?
269
00:12:50,670 --> 00:12:53,816
Did you hear that, Elyse?
270
00:12:53,840 --> 00:12:56,307
You're the three most
wonderful children in the world.
271
00:12:58,211 --> 00:13:00,645
Told you I didn't
have to cry, Alex.
272
00:13:03,750 --> 00:13:05,327
Kids, come on over here.
273
00:13:05,351 --> 00:13:07,730
We got to tell you
something real important.
274
00:13:07,754 --> 00:13:08,874
Come on, kids. Sit down.
275
00:13:10,790 --> 00:13:12,100
Is something wrong, Mom?
276
00:13:12,124 --> 00:13:14,437
Oh, no, honey.
Everything's fine.
277
00:13:14,461 --> 00:13:15,461
It's just that, uh,
278
00:13:16,429 --> 00:13:19,697
Well, I'm pregnant.
279
00:13:27,774 --> 00:13:30,185
Pregnant?
280
00:13:30,209 --> 00:13:32,409
You mean... You
mean, like, with a baby?
281
00:13:33,613 --> 00:13:35,991
I know, it's a shock.
282
00:13:36,015 --> 00:13:38,661
Believe me, no one was
more surprised than I was.
283
00:13:38,685 --> 00:13:40,763
Oh, no. Skippy was.
284
00:13:40,787 --> 00:13:43,099
Skippy knows?
285
00:13:43,123 --> 00:13:44,466
You mean, people
outside the house
286
00:13:44,490 --> 00:13:46,535
are gonna know about this?
287
00:13:46,559 --> 00:13:50,005
I'll have to drop out of school.
288
00:13:50,029 --> 00:13:53,142
All right, uh, let
me get this straight.
289
00:13:53,166 --> 00:13:57,613
You and Mom are
gonna have a baby?
290
00:13:57,637 --> 00:13:58,614
Heh. That's right.
291
00:13:58,638 --> 00:14:00,638
And you're pregnant?
292
00:14:02,041 --> 00:14:04,220
You picked the right one.
293
00:14:04,244 --> 00:14:05,888
I see. Uh.
294
00:14:05,912 --> 00:14:09,124
Girls, Mom's pregnant.
295
00:14:09,148 --> 00:14:11,883
Please leave the room.
This is not a topic for females.
296
00:14:13,586 --> 00:14:14,830
Alex.
297
00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:16,632
I can't believe this.
298
00:14:16,656 --> 00:14:19,034
Are you sure, Mom?
299
00:14:19,058 --> 00:14:20,536
Well, that's what
the doctor said.
300
00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:23,005
Well, aren't you kids excited?
301
00:14:23,029 --> 00:14:24,773
Well, it's embarrassing.
You're parents.
302
00:14:24,797 --> 00:14:26,531
You shouldn't be
having children.
303
00:14:28,167 --> 00:14:31,046
Come on, you
guys, Mallory is right.
304
00:14:31,070 --> 00:14:32,681
You're too old.
305
00:14:32,705 --> 00:14:35,150
You're too kind.
306
00:14:35,174 --> 00:14:36,985
I'm just being realistic, Mom.
307
00:14:37,009 --> 00:14:38,153
You're not going to be able
308
00:14:38,177 --> 00:14:40,378
to do the things that...
That younger parents do.
309
00:14:41,781 --> 00:14:43,125
Who is, uh...?
310
00:14:43,149 --> 00:14:46,361
Who is going to toss
a football with this kid?
311
00:14:46,385 --> 00:14:48,819
Old Gramps here?
312
00:14:52,191 --> 00:14:54,036
Alex, it might not be
someone who likes football,
313
00:14:54,060 --> 00:14:55,426
it might even be a girl.
314
00:15:00,700 --> 00:15:02,511
Wait a minute.
315
00:15:02,535 --> 00:15:05,314
Nobody said anything
about having a girl.
316
00:15:05,338 --> 00:15:08,717
No, sir, that is
where I draw the line.
317
00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:11,041
I am definitely against
you having a girl.
318
00:15:16,383 --> 00:15:18,743
This baby is gonna
change all our lives.
319
00:15:23,222 --> 00:15:26,235
Just think they should have
asked us how we felt about it.
320
00:15:26,259 --> 00:15:28,304
You know, we should
try and look at this thing
321
00:15:28,328 --> 00:15:30,038
from their point of view.
322
00:15:30,062 --> 00:15:32,975
They're not exactly a couple
of spring chickens, you know.
323
00:15:32,999 --> 00:15:36,445
This is, uh... This is
their last grasp at youth.
324
00:15:36,469 --> 00:15:37,913
It's their last chance
325
00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:41,650
to feel like a functioning
part of nature's fertility cycle
326
00:15:41,674 --> 00:15:44,107
before they shrivel up,
join bowling leagues.
327
00:15:45,778 --> 00:15:48,190
I just can't help thinking
another brother or sister's
328
00:15:48,214 --> 00:15:51,960
gonna upset the delicate
balance of give and take,
329
00:15:51,984 --> 00:15:55,152
the balance of space we've
established in this family.
330
00:15:58,558 --> 00:16:00,836
That's quite an
advanced thought, Mallory.
331
00:16:00,860 --> 00:16:03,272
I, uh... I didn't know you
had such an understanding
332
00:16:03,296 --> 00:16:04,440
of group dynamics.
333
00:16:04,464 --> 00:16:06,731
I was talking
about closet space.
334
00:16:08,501 --> 00:16:11,112
I don't know what you
guys are complaining about.
335
00:16:11,136 --> 00:16:12,148
I'm the youngest.
336
00:16:12,172 --> 00:16:14,583
I should feel the
most threatened.
337
00:16:14,607 --> 00:16:16,585
You know, Jennifer is right.
338
00:16:16,609 --> 00:16:19,255
Look, this thing is
gonna be hardest on her.
339
00:16:19,279 --> 00:16:21,323
She's used to being
the baby of the family,
340
00:16:21,347 --> 00:16:22,891
getting all the attention.
341
00:16:22,915 --> 00:16:24,293
Mwah.
342
00:16:24,317 --> 00:16:25,883
Now she's going to be ignored.
343
00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:30,732
A virtual nobody.
One of the crowd.
344
00:16:30,756 --> 00:16:33,068
A piece of driftwood.
345
00:16:33,092 --> 00:16:35,938
Mere flotsam washed
up on the shores of life.
346
00:16:35,962 --> 00:16:38,140
I get the point, Alex.
347
00:16:38,164 --> 00:16:40,409
Okay, girls, you're just gonna
have to be mature about this.
348
00:16:40,433 --> 00:16:42,945
Now, there is going to be
another member of this family,
349
00:16:42,969 --> 00:16:46,015
and you're both going to
have to make sacrifices.
350
00:16:46,039 --> 00:16:47,649
What about you?
351
00:16:47,673 --> 00:16:49,185
I'm the oldest son.
352
00:16:49,209 --> 00:16:52,154
There are certain inalienable
rights to that position.
353
00:16:52,178 --> 00:16:54,356
You can't pull rank
on this one, Alex.
354
00:16:54,380 --> 00:16:56,358
When the baby cries
at 3:00 in the morning,
355
00:16:56,382 --> 00:17:00,429
it's gonna wake everyone
up. Even the first-born son.
356
00:17:00,453 --> 00:17:04,187
Can you imagine Alex
changing a diaper?
357
00:17:05,491 --> 00:17:08,404
Or Alex going
gitchee, gitchee, goo?
358
00:17:08,428 --> 00:17:11,039
I can go "gitchee,
gitchee, goo," Mallory.
359
00:17:11,063 --> 00:17:12,975
I just don't think infants
should be spoken to
360
00:17:12,999 --> 00:17:14,376
in that manner.
361
00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:17,880
What would you say to the
baby if it were crying, Alex?
362
00:17:17,904 --> 00:17:20,015
I would, uh...
363
00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:22,784
I would walk over to
the edge of the crib,
364
00:17:22,808 --> 00:17:25,955
and I would
explain to the infant
365
00:17:25,979 --> 00:17:29,758
that crying is merely
an instinctive reaction
366
00:17:29,782 --> 00:17:32,894
to transitory,
albeit unpleasant,
367
00:17:32,918 --> 00:17:34,118
environmental stimuli.
368
00:17:35,721 --> 00:17:37,655
Why does that sound so familiar?
369
00:17:44,597 --> 00:17:48,043
To which I would
add, parenthetically,
370
00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:50,901
uh, "gitchee, uh, gitchee, goo."
371
00:17:53,773 --> 00:17:56,418
I just had a scary thought.
372
00:17:56,442 --> 00:17:59,621
We could have another
little Alex on our hands.
373
00:17:59,645 --> 00:18:02,257
You're making me
very nervous, Mallory.
374
00:18:02,281 --> 00:18:03,926
Well, you should be nervous.
375
00:18:03,950 --> 00:18:06,962
Think about all the
negatives to the situation.
376
00:18:06,986 --> 00:18:09,698
Babies cry at night when
you're trying to sleep.
377
00:18:09,722 --> 00:18:11,834
They have bad table manners.
378
00:18:11,858 --> 00:18:13,902
They're bald.
379
00:18:13,926 --> 00:18:16,071
They never pick
up after themselves.
380
00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:17,640
They have runny noses.
381
00:18:17,664 --> 00:18:20,565
When you stand them
up, they fall right over.
382
00:18:25,238 --> 00:18:26,537
They can't hold their liquor.
383
00:18:30,243 --> 00:18:32,521
Then again, they
cuddle up in your arms.
384
00:18:32,545 --> 00:18:34,390
They smell good.
385
00:18:34,414 --> 00:18:35,791
They gurgle and coo.
386
00:18:35,815 --> 00:18:37,692
They idolize
their older brother.
387
00:18:40,519 --> 00:18:42,531
Of course, who could blame them?
388
00:18:42,555 --> 00:18:45,233
You know, I can't
recall which of you girls
389
00:18:45,257 --> 00:18:47,569
looked up to me more
when you were babies.
390
00:18:47,593 --> 00:18:49,938
Or should I say worshipped?
391
00:18:49,962 --> 00:18:51,128
Ow!
392
00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:55,277
Are you okay?
393
00:18:55,301 --> 00:18:56,934
Hm? Oh, sure. I'm fine.
394
00:18:58,270 --> 00:19:02,384
I just couldn't sleep.
I was so excited.
395
00:19:02,408 --> 00:19:04,052
How you two feeling?
396
00:19:04,076 --> 00:19:05,153
Fine.
397
00:19:05,177 --> 00:19:06,455
Fine, how are you?
398
00:19:07,714 --> 00:19:10,325
I had a little trouble sleeping.
399
00:19:10,349 --> 00:19:12,427
I, uh... I can't stop thinking.
400
00:19:12,451 --> 00:19:14,084
About what?
401
00:19:16,122 --> 00:19:17,622
I mean, about what specifically?
402
00:19:18,825 --> 00:19:20,503
Elyse, I'm 40 years old.
403
00:19:20,527 --> 00:19:24,306
I'm about to become
a father again.
404
00:19:24,330 --> 00:19:28,176
Last time I changed a diaper,
Richard Nixon was president.
405
00:19:28,200 --> 00:19:30,120
Thought I'd seen the
last of both of them.
406
00:19:31,804 --> 00:19:32,948
You know what I keep realizing?
407
00:19:32,972 --> 00:19:34,249
What?
408
00:19:34,273 --> 00:19:36,719
We have to start watching
Sesame Street again.
409
00:19:36,743 --> 00:19:40,355
Romper Room. Mister Rogers'.
410
00:19:40,379 --> 00:19:42,346
I like Mister Rogers'.
411
00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:50,699
Have to start going to the zoo.
412
00:19:50,723 --> 00:19:52,534
Pony rides.
413
00:19:52,558 --> 00:19:54,269
Birthday parties.
414
00:19:54,293 --> 00:19:55,871
Sterilizing baby bottles.
415
00:19:55,895 --> 00:19:57,239
Tripping over toys.
416
00:19:57,263 --> 00:19:58,307
Before you know it,
417
00:19:58,331 --> 00:20:00,075
the terrible twos
will be upon us.
418
00:20:00,099 --> 00:20:02,310
Remember when Alex used to
run around the house all the time
419
00:20:02,334 --> 00:20:03,334
going, "Mine! Mine!"?
420
00:20:04,704 --> 00:20:06,824
He never really
outgrew that, did he?
421
00:20:10,309 --> 00:20:12,454
Seems like such a long time ago.
422
00:20:12,478 --> 00:20:15,223
I know. I've been
doing some calculations.
423
00:20:15,247 --> 00:20:18,560
When the baby's 10, I'll be 50.
424
00:20:18,584 --> 00:20:21,530
When the baby's 20, I'll be 60.
425
00:20:21,554 --> 00:20:24,254
When the baby's 30, I'll be 70.
426
00:20:25,959 --> 00:20:28,459
70 is a little old to
have a baby, isn't it?
427
00:20:30,796 --> 00:20:32,630
It won't be a baby when it's 30.
428
00:20:33,900 --> 00:20:35,765
I guess you're right.
429
00:20:40,639 --> 00:20:43,199
When the baby's
40, Jennifer will be 51.
430
00:20:44,277 --> 00:20:46,188
Steven. Cut it out.
431
00:20:46,212 --> 00:20:49,057
I'm sorry. I'm just
not used to the idea.
432
00:20:49,081 --> 00:20:51,227
Neither am I.
433
00:20:51,251 --> 00:20:53,161
It's a nice idea to
get used to, isn't it?
434
00:20:53,185 --> 00:20:55,163
I wish the kids
were more excited.
435
00:20:55,187 --> 00:20:56,398
Oh, they'll come around.
436
00:20:56,422 --> 00:21:00,001
Who could not love a
beautiful newborn baby?
437
00:21:00,025 --> 00:21:01,870
Besides, it gives us
someone else to pick on.
438
00:21:02,895 --> 00:21:05,307
You know, uh,
439
00:21:05,331 --> 00:21:07,075
there's one other
thing about this
440
00:21:07,099 --> 00:21:08,477
we haven't mentioned.
441
00:21:08,501 --> 00:21:10,779
It's gonna be real expensive.
442
00:21:10,803 --> 00:21:14,472
I find this absolutely the
sexiest thing in the world.
443
00:21:15,975 --> 00:21:18,386
Aw, hey, hey, hey.
Come on. Cut it out.
444
00:21:18,410 --> 00:21:20,122
Don't you know that's
how you got into trouble
445
00:21:20,146 --> 00:21:22,591
in the first place?
446
00:21:22,615 --> 00:21:24,559
Alex, what are you doing up?
447
00:21:24,583 --> 00:21:26,095
How am I supposed to sleep, Mom?
448
00:21:26,119 --> 00:21:28,831
I'm about to become a
brother for the third time.
449
00:21:28,855 --> 00:21:31,366
It's not gonna
happen tonight, Alex.
450
00:21:31,390 --> 00:21:33,123
It's not, is it, Elyse?
451
00:21:35,361 --> 00:21:37,205
I can almost guarantee it.
452
00:21:37,229 --> 00:21:38,807
What's in the package?
453
00:21:38,831 --> 00:21:42,065
Oh, uh, it's something I
picked up for the little guy.
454
00:21:43,435 --> 00:21:44,413
Oh, it's so cute.
455
00:21:44,437 --> 00:21:46,604
Yeah, uh, pull the string.
456
00:21:48,107 --> 00:21:49,651
I love Alex.
457
00:21:49,675 --> 00:21:50,808
Aw.
458
00:21:53,279 --> 00:21:55,357
Isn't that sweet?
459
00:21:55,381 --> 00:21:56,858
Oh, my...
460
00:21:56,882 --> 00:21:59,442
Yeah, you know, I think I need
to get one of these for myself.
461
00:22:02,188 --> 00:22:04,488
This is going to be
a long nine months.
462
00:22:07,360 --> 00:22:09,805
We thought about having
a little brother or sister,
463
00:22:09,829 --> 00:22:12,641
and we decided that
it could be a lot of fun.
464
00:22:12,665 --> 00:22:15,510
Yeah, the family needs a
little shaking up anyway.
465
00:22:17,469 --> 00:22:19,469
Thank you, honey.
This is beautiful.
466
00:22:23,076 --> 00:22:24,419
Look at that.
467
00:22:26,078 --> 00:22:27,689
Well, it's getting pretty late.
468
00:22:27,713 --> 00:22:29,558
I think we'd better
call it a night, huh?
469
00:22:29,582 --> 00:22:30,559
Oh, yeah.
470
00:22:30,583 --> 00:22:31,682
Come on.
31272
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