All language subtitles for Family Ties S01E10 Have Gun_ Will Unravel.DVDRip.NonHI.cc.en.CBS.EN

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,969 --> 00:00:04,714 Well, that was a waste of two hours. 2 00:00:04,738 --> 00:00:06,416 I can't believe that your mother and I 3 00:00:06,440 --> 00:00:08,685 are the only ones who enjoyed A Hard Day's Night. 4 00:00:08,709 --> 00:00:10,653 No, now, I think there were some other old people 5 00:00:10,677 --> 00:00:12,355 in the audience who enjoyed it too. 6 00:00:12,379 --> 00:00:15,224 Yeah, I hear Beatles are big in nursing homes. 7 00:00:15,248 --> 00:00:17,593 Next time let me pick the movie, okay? 8 00:00:17,617 --> 00:00:19,295 Uh, no, we let you pick the movie last time 9 00:00:19,319 --> 00:00:20,630 and it was terrible. 10 00:00:20,654 --> 00:00:24,200 I can't help it if you don't like subtitles. 11 00:00:24,224 --> 00:00:26,402 At least that movie was quiet. You could sleep. 12 00:00:26,426 --> 00:00:28,905 These guys kept breaking into song every five minutes. 13 00:00:28,929 --> 00:00:30,340 Elyse, I'm crushed. 14 00:00:30,364 --> 00:00:32,375 How did we raise three children who don't care 15 00:00:32,399 --> 00:00:36,512 that Eleanor Rigby keeps her face in a jar by the door? 16 00:00:36,536 --> 00:00:38,514 The same way our parents raised kids 17 00:00:38,538 --> 00:00:41,384 who don't care how Stella looked by starlight. 18 00:00:41,408 --> 00:00:44,020 I can't believe you guys used to listen to that music. 19 00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:45,221 It was so boring. 20 00:00:45,245 --> 00:00:48,191 They didn't even break any guitars. 21 00:00:48,215 --> 00:00:50,460 Hey, is that how you judge music today? 22 00:00:50,484 --> 00:00:52,128 By how many guitars get broken? 23 00:00:52,152 --> 00:00:53,863 No, that's how you know when the song is over. 24 00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:55,164 Ah. 25 00:00:55,188 --> 00:00:57,523 Steven! Come in here quickly! 26 00:01:00,494 --> 00:01:02,654 - Honey, what...? - What's going on? 27 00:01:04,731 --> 00:01:07,210 My God. 28 00:01:07,234 --> 00:01:08,411 We've been robbed. 29 00:01:08,435 --> 00:01:09,546 I can't believe it. 30 00:01:09,570 --> 00:01:11,481 People we don't even know came in here, 31 00:01:11,505 --> 00:01:13,850 they tracked mud all over the floor, 32 00:01:13,874 --> 00:01:15,452 they took things that belong to us. 33 00:01:15,476 --> 00:01:17,153 Why would they do that? 34 00:01:17,177 --> 00:01:19,497 They're burglars, Elyse. That's their job. 35 00:01:21,381 --> 00:01:22,758 I'm gonna go check my room. 36 00:01:22,782 --> 00:01:24,360 Me too. 37 00:01:24,384 --> 00:01:26,462 Steven, check the dining room for the silverware. 38 00:01:26,486 --> 00:01:28,664 It's in the top drawer of the breakfront. 39 00:01:28,688 --> 00:01:30,801 Wow, wait until my class hears about this 40 00:01:30,825 --> 00:01:33,769 during show-and-tell. 41 00:01:33,793 --> 00:01:35,071 Oh, Mommy, 42 00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:37,507 would you mind me tying you to this chair for a picture? 43 00:01:37,531 --> 00:01:39,642 The kids at school are hard to impress. 44 00:01:39,666 --> 00:01:41,978 I think the silver's gone, Elyse. 45 00:01:42,002 --> 00:01:43,446 It... It's not in the breakfront? 46 00:01:43,470 --> 00:01:45,748 Hard to tell. They took the breakfront. 47 00:01:45,772 --> 00:01:47,917 They cleaned me out. They... They took everything. 48 00:01:47,941 --> 00:01:49,486 They took my calculator collection. 49 00:01:49,510 --> 00:01:51,354 They took my golf clubs. 50 00:01:51,378 --> 00:01:53,523 At least they didn't touch my Mantovani albums. 51 00:01:53,547 --> 00:01:55,291 That's a relief. 52 00:01:55,315 --> 00:01:57,426 They really made a mess. They went through everything. 53 00:01:57,450 --> 00:01:58,661 Even the linen closet. 54 00:01:58,685 --> 00:02:00,997 Oh, great. Now the entire underworld knows 55 00:02:01,021 --> 00:02:03,266 that my sheets and pillowcases don't match. 56 00:02:03,290 --> 00:02:06,036 It's gone! I can't believe it! 57 00:02:06,060 --> 00:02:08,237 They took my most prized possession! 58 00:02:08,261 --> 00:02:10,873 So we'll get you another mirror. 59 00:02:10,897 --> 00:02:14,043 No, they took my diary. I'm freaking out. 60 00:02:14,067 --> 00:02:15,778 I'm gonna have to leave town. 61 00:02:15,802 --> 00:02:17,047 Don't worry, Mallory. 62 00:02:17,071 --> 00:02:19,304 I had it xeroxed last week. 63 00:02:20,774 --> 00:02:22,885 You xeroxed my diary? 64 00:02:22,909 --> 00:02:26,255 Yeah, and I have a lot of questions. 65 00:02:26,279 --> 00:02:27,857 I'm gonna kill you. 66 00:02:27,881 --> 00:02:29,025 I'm calling the police. 67 00:02:29,049 --> 00:02:30,727 Ma, it's just a figure of speech. 68 00:02:30,751 --> 00:02:32,428 Now, everybody stay calm. 69 00:02:32,452 --> 00:02:35,264 The important thing is that nobody was hurt. 70 00:02:35,288 --> 00:02:36,832 Nothing else matters. 71 00:02:36,856 --> 00:02:39,858 That's easy for you to say. You didn't read her diary. 72 00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:55,385 ♪ I'll bet We've been together ♪ 73 00:02:55,409 --> 00:02:58,521 ♪ For a million years ♪ 74 00:02:58,545 --> 00:03:00,890 ♪ And I'll bet We'll be together ♪ 75 00:03:00,914 --> 00:03:03,927 ♪ For a million more ♪ 76 00:03:03,951 --> 00:03:06,562 ♪ Ooh, it's like I started breathin' ♪ 77 00:03:06,586 --> 00:03:09,732 ♪ On the night we kissed ♪ 78 00:03:09,756 --> 00:03:15,138 ♪ Well, I can't remember What I ever did before ♪ 79 00:03:15,162 --> 00:03:17,941 ♪ What would we do, baby ♪ 80 00:03:17,965 --> 00:03:19,965 ♪ Without us? ♪ 81 00:03:21,067 --> 00:03:23,947 ♪ What would we do, baby ♪ 82 00:03:23,971 --> 00:03:26,949 ♪ Without us? ♪ 83 00:03:26,973 --> 00:03:28,551 ♪ And there ain't No nothin' ♪ 84 00:03:28,575 --> 00:03:32,289 ♪ We can't love Each other through ♪ 85 00:03:32,313 --> 00:03:35,024 ♪ What would we do, baby ♪ 86 00:03:35,048 --> 00:03:37,760 ♪ Without us? ♪ 87 00:03:37,784 --> 00:03:40,785 ♪ Sha-la-la-lahhh ♪ 88 00:04:11,985 --> 00:04:13,429 Ah! Oh. 89 00:04:13,453 --> 00:04:15,598 I'm all right. I'm all right. 90 00:04:15,622 --> 00:04:18,501 I think the broom's dead, though. 91 00:04:18,525 --> 00:04:20,765 Just relax, Dad, okay? I'll check the living room. 92 00:04:29,069 --> 00:04:30,613 It's all clear. Nobody there. 93 00:04:30,637 --> 00:04:32,181 Did you look upstairs? 94 00:04:32,205 --> 00:04:33,650 Upstairs? Yeah, you know, 95 00:04:33,674 --> 00:04:35,374 where we keep the bedrooms. 96 00:04:36,643 --> 00:04:39,455 Uh, no, no. I... I didn't make it up there. 97 00:04:39,479 --> 00:04:41,258 Coward. Look who's talking. 98 00:04:41,282 --> 00:04:42,959 The brave soul who offered me five dollars 99 00:04:42,983 --> 00:04:45,428 to check behind the shower curtain last night. 100 00:04:45,452 --> 00:04:48,831 I did not, I offered you three. You said you'd do it for five. 101 00:04:48,855 --> 00:04:51,668 Mallory, if you're scared, come to me or Daddy. 102 00:04:51,692 --> 00:04:53,069 We don't charge. 103 00:04:53,093 --> 00:04:54,737 I would've, but you were downstairs 104 00:04:54,761 --> 00:04:56,272 frisking the paperboy. 105 00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:58,007 I wasn't frisking him. I was checking his ID. 106 00:04:58,031 --> 00:04:59,442 He... He's new on the route. 107 00:04:59,466 --> 00:05:01,578 All right, look. This is going to have to stop. 108 00:05:01,602 --> 00:05:04,747 I will not have my family afraid in our own home. 109 00:05:04,771 --> 00:05:06,316 Can we go to a motel? 110 00:05:06,340 --> 00:05:09,552 No. I... I think it's time for a family meeting about this. 111 00:05:09,576 --> 00:05:10,987 Yeah. 112 00:05:11,011 --> 00:05:13,289 Not another family meeting. Come on. 113 00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:16,426 Can't we just talk about this without having a formal meeting? 114 00:05:16,450 --> 00:05:18,494 Just because you two want to keep up this charade 115 00:05:18,518 --> 00:05:20,663 of a '60s participatory democracy, 116 00:05:20,687 --> 00:05:22,399 why do we have to be subjected to it? 117 00:05:22,423 --> 00:05:23,733 Yeah. 118 00:05:23,757 --> 00:05:25,668 Because we say so. 119 00:05:25,692 --> 00:05:27,403 Okay Okay. 120 00:05:27,427 --> 00:05:30,139 Assigned seats? Assigned seats. 121 00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:31,841 All right. 122 00:05:31,865 --> 00:05:34,344 This meeting will now come to order. 123 00:05:34,368 --> 00:05:37,446 Uh, we'll... We'll dispense with the minutes. 124 00:05:37,470 --> 00:05:38,881 Any old business? 125 00:05:38,905 --> 00:05:40,049 At the last meeting, 126 00:05:40,073 --> 00:05:42,752 we decided to boycott the following products: 127 00:05:42,776 --> 00:05:45,555 Persian rugs, whale blubber... 128 00:05:45,579 --> 00:05:46,956 Can't we just skip the old business 129 00:05:46,980 --> 00:05:48,891 and get on to the problem at hand? 130 00:05:48,915 --> 00:05:50,860 It's highly irregular. 131 00:05:50,884 --> 00:05:53,362 Oh, okay. Okay, look. 132 00:05:53,386 --> 00:05:55,598 I know the burglary's been hard on everyone, 133 00:05:55,622 --> 00:05:57,266 but we've got to put it past us. 134 00:05:57,290 --> 00:06:00,537 We can't let fear take over and destroy our lives. 135 00:06:00,561 --> 00:06:03,540 Does that mean I have to stop sleeping with my light on? 136 00:06:03,564 --> 00:06:05,441 No, no, you keep your light on as long as you need to 137 00:06:05,465 --> 00:06:07,176 if it makes you feel more comfortable. 138 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:08,733 Can Alex keep his on too? 139 00:06:10,504 --> 00:06:11,781 Jennifer. 140 00:06:11,805 --> 00:06:13,349 You told me to ask. 141 00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:15,351 I explained that to you. I... 142 00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:17,754 I need the light to read by. 143 00:06:17,778 --> 00:06:20,178 You read by a Donald Duck nightlight? 144 00:06:22,448 --> 00:06:25,762 Ah...! All... All... All I'm saying... 145 00:06:25,786 --> 00:06:27,630 All I'm saying is we're going to take some steps 146 00:06:27,654 --> 00:06:30,533 to try and help us feel safe again. 147 00:06:30,557 --> 00:06:32,869 Yeah, I think we should keep the house locked at all times. 148 00:06:32,893 --> 00:06:34,404 And don't let any strangers in. 149 00:06:34,428 --> 00:06:36,972 And if you see anybody acting suspicious, call the police. 150 00:06:36,996 --> 00:06:38,808 We want to know where you are and who you're with 151 00:06:38,832 --> 00:06:40,209 at all times. 152 00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:41,844 At... At all times? 153 00:06:41,868 --> 00:06:43,179 All times. 154 00:06:43,203 --> 00:06:45,415 Well, as a member of this democratic household, 155 00:06:45,439 --> 00:06:48,050 I move we hold a vote on the last issue. 156 00:06:48,074 --> 00:06:49,874 Motion denied. 157 00:06:51,178 --> 00:06:52,488 Do you remember last winter 158 00:06:52,512 --> 00:06:54,924 when we all came down with the cold at the same time? 159 00:06:54,948 --> 00:06:57,727 Yeah, Dad tried to ration tissues to save trees. 160 00:06:57,751 --> 00:06:59,496 Yeah, well, I think getting robbed 161 00:06:59,520 --> 00:07:01,764 is a lot like having a cold. 162 00:07:01,788 --> 00:07:04,567 You don't get over it all at once. It takes a while. 163 00:07:04,591 --> 00:07:06,402 Well, we've all been through this together. 164 00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:08,938 I... I think that we can help each other out. 165 00:07:08,962 --> 00:07:13,376 Well, ever since the robbery, I can't help feeling real weird. 166 00:07:13,400 --> 00:07:15,044 Mm-hm. 167 00:07:15,068 --> 00:07:17,428 That's because you are real weird. 168 00:07:18,872 --> 00:07:21,584 No, now, every time I go into my bedroom, 169 00:07:21,608 --> 00:07:24,187 I feel like there's a stranger watching me. 170 00:07:24,211 --> 00:07:26,956 That's probably Marty Obeck across the street. 171 00:07:26,980 --> 00:07:28,992 - Look, Alex, just because... - All right, look, 172 00:07:29,016 --> 00:07:31,795 I know you're on edge. But let's try and stick together here. 173 00:07:31,819 --> 00:07:33,429 What do you think about organizing 174 00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:35,331 a neighborhood watch meeting, Elyse? 175 00:07:35,355 --> 00:07:37,433 Boy, Dad, you'll do anything to hold a meeting. 176 00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:39,835 The police said they would send someone to speak if we did. 177 00:07:39,859 --> 00:07:40,937 I think it's a real good idea. 178 00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:42,238 Should we hold it here? 179 00:07:42,262 --> 00:07:44,340 Or... Or maybe we should call Phyllis and have it over... 180 00:07:44,364 --> 00:07:46,442 Chrissy's parents had a neighborhood watch meeting, 181 00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:51,180 and every house on the block got robbed that night except theirs. 182 00:07:51,204 --> 00:07:52,770 We'll have it here. 183 00:07:55,943 --> 00:07:58,621 Just remember, nothing's foolproof. 184 00:07:58,645 --> 00:08:00,623 If burglars want to get in badly enough, they will. 185 00:08:00,647 --> 00:08:02,791 The most you can do is make it hard for them 186 00:08:02,815 --> 00:08:05,128 and then maybe they'll go down the block instead, 187 00:08:05,152 --> 00:08:06,629 to your neighbor's house. 188 00:08:08,655 --> 00:08:10,933 Officer. Officer. 189 00:08:10,957 --> 00:08:12,702 Now that you've lost control of this meeting, 190 00:08:12,726 --> 00:08:14,136 do you mind if I say something? 191 00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:16,105 I have a feeling you're going to. 192 00:08:16,129 --> 00:08:18,708 Thank you. My name is Earl Quigley. 193 00:08:18,732 --> 00:08:20,209 I sell insurance. 194 00:08:20,233 --> 00:08:23,279 This should be real subtle and sensitive. 195 00:08:23,303 --> 00:08:25,281 Now, if anybody knows how vulnerable a house can be, 196 00:08:25,305 --> 00:08:26,615 it's yours truly. 197 00:08:26,639 --> 00:08:28,651 Believe me, there isn't an alarm system on this earth 198 00:08:28,675 --> 00:08:31,154 that can't be suckered. Do you want statistics? 199 00:08:31,178 --> 00:08:32,554 I got statistics. 200 00:08:32,578 --> 00:08:34,290 Pick a crime, any crime. 201 00:08:34,314 --> 00:08:36,993 Okay, um, assault and battery. 202 00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:38,560 One of my favorites. 203 00:08:38,584 --> 00:08:40,930 Up 20 percent in this neighborhood over the last year. 204 00:08:42,722 --> 00:08:44,767 We live in a jungle. 205 00:08:44,791 --> 00:08:47,803 At this very moment, there's a crime being committed 206 00:08:47,827 --> 00:08:50,773 somewhere in this neighborhood, within a five-mile radius. 207 00:08:50,797 --> 00:08:53,676 You wouldn't happen to know where, would you? 208 00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:55,110 Let's face it. 209 00:08:55,134 --> 00:08:59,181 The only way to really protect ourselves is to get a G-U-N. 210 00:08:59,205 --> 00:09:03,252 Now, I wouldn't recommend that for most people. 211 00:09:03,276 --> 00:09:06,188 Accidents happen. If you've got a gun, you'd better be careful. 212 00:09:06,212 --> 00:09:08,090 I am. 213 00:09:08,114 --> 00:09:10,326 Well, I gotta be moving on. I hope I haven't made you people 214 00:09:10,350 --> 00:09:11,994 any more frightened than you already were. 215 00:09:12,018 --> 00:09:14,596 Well, we appreciate your honesty. 216 00:09:14,620 --> 00:09:17,233 Burglars are a peculiar breed. 217 00:09:17,257 --> 00:09:19,035 They're not usually satisfied 218 00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:21,470 to hit one house on the block and then move on. 219 00:09:21,494 --> 00:09:22,705 Oh, no. 220 00:09:22,729 --> 00:09:25,575 They'll keep coming back again and again, 221 00:09:25,599 --> 00:09:27,543 picking on a neighborhood. 222 00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:30,179 Picking, picking, picking, 223 00:09:30,203 --> 00:09:32,481 till there's nothing left to pick on. 224 00:09:32,505 --> 00:09:36,285 Leeches, sapping our strength, our blood. 225 00:09:41,281 --> 00:09:42,925 Did I say the wrong thing? 226 00:09:42,949 --> 00:09:45,049 Which time? 227 00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:52,201 Let's remember to keep him out of the locker room at halftime. 228 00:09:52,225 --> 00:09:54,504 Can I help you clean up here a little bit, Elyse? 229 00:09:54,528 --> 00:09:56,639 Thanks, Phyllis. I think I'll just leave it all out 230 00:09:56,663 --> 00:09:57,940 for the burglars. 231 00:09:57,964 --> 00:09:59,909 Well, I can't say this meeting did a whole lot 232 00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:02,011 for my sense of security. 233 00:10:02,035 --> 00:10:05,014 You want security, Keaton? Get yourself a G-U-N. 234 00:10:05,038 --> 00:10:08,050 You don't understand. We don't believe in guns. 235 00:10:08,074 --> 00:10:09,151 Oh, that's fine and dandy 236 00:10:09,175 --> 00:10:11,787 until you come up against somebody who does. 237 00:10:11,811 --> 00:10:12,888 I gotta be going. 238 00:10:12,912 --> 00:10:14,512 Oh, do you have to? 239 00:10:17,684 --> 00:10:19,962 Is that the lock you're going with, Keaton? 240 00:10:25,525 --> 00:10:27,836 Why can't he understand that we can't have a gun in the house? 241 00:10:27,860 --> 00:10:29,605 We've got three children. 242 00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:32,875 I've got four, and I've got a gun. 243 00:10:32,899 --> 00:10:34,343 You, Phyllis? 244 00:10:34,367 --> 00:10:35,544 Yes, me. 245 00:10:35,568 --> 00:10:37,112 Hey, you'd be surprised 246 00:10:37,136 --> 00:10:40,149 how many people like you and me have guns these days. 247 00:10:40,173 --> 00:10:42,285 I'd think about it if I were you. 248 00:10:42,309 --> 00:10:43,786 I'll call you tomorrow, okay? 249 00:10:43,810 --> 00:10:45,388 Yeah, sure. 250 00:10:45,412 --> 00:10:47,712 Good night, Steven. Uh, good... Good night, Phyllis. 251 00:10:48,881 --> 00:10:50,192 Jeez. 252 00:10:50,216 --> 00:10:52,294 I can't believe it. Phyllis Evans has got a gun. 253 00:10:52,318 --> 00:10:54,819 What is going on in this world, Steven? 254 00:10:55,922 --> 00:10:57,099 Steven? 255 00:10:57,123 --> 00:10:59,201 Hm? Oh... Oh... Oh, yeah. 256 00:10:59,225 --> 00:11:01,103 Uh... 257 00:11:01,127 --> 00:11:03,706 Look, I... I didn't like the way they put it, 258 00:11:03,730 --> 00:11:06,909 but, uh, well, I hate to admit it, 259 00:11:06,933 --> 00:11:10,079 but maybe some of what Earl and Phyllis had to say 260 00:11:10,103 --> 00:11:11,213 made some sense. 261 00:11:11,237 --> 00:11:14,483 Maybe we should at least consider buying a... 262 00:11:14,507 --> 00:11:15,773 A G-U... 263 00:11:17,043 --> 00:11:18,020 You know. 264 00:11:18,044 --> 00:11:19,455 You can't even say it. 265 00:11:19,479 --> 00:11:21,057 My vocal cords can be very stubborn. 266 00:11:21,081 --> 00:11:25,027 It took them six months to say President N... Nixon. 267 00:11:25,051 --> 00:11:28,464 Us? A gun? That... That seems so terribly wrong. 268 00:11:28,488 --> 00:11:30,199 I... I know. I know. 269 00:11:30,223 --> 00:11:32,869 I also know the world is changing 270 00:11:32,893 --> 00:11:34,937 and we've got to adjust to it. 271 00:11:34,961 --> 00:11:38,107 Last time you said that, you signed us up for disco lessons. 272 00:11:38,131 --> 00:11:39,809 Ev... Ever since... 273 00:11:39,833 --> 00:11:40,977 Ever since the burglary, 274 00:11:41,001 --> 00:11:42,879 I can't stop myself from thinking about 275 00:11:42,903 --> 00:11:46,215 what might have happened if we'd been home when they broke in. 276 00:11:46,239 --> 00:11:47,950 I know. That thought crossed my mind too, 277 00:11:47,974 --> 00:11:49,385 three or four hundred times. 278 00:11:49,409 --> 00:11:51,287 But i-is a gun the answer? 279 00:11:51,311 --> 00:11:53,889 I don't know. 280 00:11:53,913 --> 00:11:55,558 Will you sleep down here with us? 281 00:11:55,582 --> 00:11:56,892 What's the matter? 282 00:11:56,916 --> 00:11:58,361 We're scared. 283 00:11:58,385 --> 00:12:01,530 I mean, um, they're scared. I'm trying to be supportive. 284 00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:02,932 Su... Sure, sure. 285 00:12:02,956 --> 00:12:04,934 Why don't we all sleep down here? It'll be fun. 286 00:12:04,958 --> 00:12:06,268 Just like camping. 287 00:12:06,292 --> 00:12:08,804 Am I gonna have to go to the bathroom outside? 288 00:12:08,828 --> 00:12:09,905 Not this trip. 289 00:12:09,929 --> 00:12:11,541 You kids wait down here. 290 00:12:11,565 --> 00:12:13,743 Your mother and I will change into our pajamas 291 00:12:13,767 --> 00:12:16,345 and be right back. Yeah. 292 00:12:16,369 --> 00:12:18,513 We will be right back down. 293 00:12:18,537 --> 00:12:19,817 Okay, come on. 294 00:12:35,989 --> 00:12:37,533 I don't know. I think this is a mistake. 295 00:12:37,557 --> 00:12:40,202 Now, we're... We're just here to look at guns, Elyse. 296 00:12:40,226 --> 00:12:42,471 We don't have to buy one. And if it feels like a mistake 297 00:12:42,495 --> 00:12:44,206 we won't. Okay. 298 00:12:44,230 --> 00:12:46,470 There's the gun department over here. 299 00:12:47,367 --> 00:12:49,312 Oh, look, there's a sale on long underwear. 300 00:12:49,336 --> 00:12:51,347 Maybe we should stock up for the kids. 301 00:12:51,371 --> 00:12:53,148 Elyse, we are quite possibly 302 00:12:53,172 --> 00:12:55,351 about to take a major step in our lives. 303 00:12:55,375 --> 00:12:57,219 It involves the security, the safety 304 00:12:57,243 --> 00:12:58,921 and the well-being of our family. 305 00:12:58,945 --> 00:13:00,122 So does underwear. 306 00:13:00,146 --> 00:13:01,657 Now, Elyse. 307 00:13:01,681 --> 00:13:03,714 It's 25 percent off. 308 00:13:04,985 --> 00:13:06,451 I'm coming. 309 00:13:08,455 --> 00:13:10,099 Uh, hi. 310 00:13:10,123 --> 00:13:12,334 Well, what can I do for you folks, today? 311 00:13:12,358 --> 00:13:15,537 W-w-w-well... Well, let's see. Um... Oh, we, uh... 312 00:13:15,561 --> 00:13:17,206 Uh, we need some camping items. 313 00:13:17,230 --> 00:13:19,608 Some, uh, insect repellant, a compass, 314 00:13:19,632 --> 00:13:21,009 a collapsible drinking cup, 315 00:13:21,033 --> 00:13:23,646 a gun, a canteen, electric socks. 316 00:13:23,670 --> 00:13:26,382 Okay, suppose we cut the song and dance. 317 00:13:26,406 --> 00:13:28,372 What kind of gun do you want? 318 00:13:29,776 --> 00:13:33,222 Wha...? Um, what...? Uh, w-w-what are the different kinds? 319 00:13:33,246 --> 00:13:34,390 Depends. 320 00:13:34,414 --> 00:13:35,658 You just want to put a nick in him, 321 00:13:35,682 --> 00:13:38,082 or do you want to blow him away? 322 00:13:41,054 --> 00:13:44,333 W-w-well, a... A nick, I think. What do you think, honey? 323 00:13:44,357 --> 00:13:45,768 A-a nick sounds fine. 324 00:13:45,792 --> 00:13:47,236 Yes, a nick, then. 325 00:13:47,260 --> 00:13:49,638 Uh, do you want that to be a small nick, 326 00:13:49,662 --> 00:13:52,508 middle-sized or the Grand Canyon? 327 00:13:52,532 --> 00:13:54,109 Uh... Uh... Uh, to tell you the truth, 328 00:13:54,133 --> 00:13:56,912 we're not all that sure that we want to buy a gun. 329 00:13:56,936 --> 00:13:58,647 You see... See, actually we're pacifists. 330 00:13:58,671 --> 00:14:01,717 We've marched for peace s-seven... Oh, no, eight times, 331 00:14:01,741 --> 00:14:04,453 if you count that rally in Paris that we thought was for peace 332 00:14:04,477 --> 00:14:07,556 but really it turned out to be to legalize prostitution. 333 00:14:07,580 --> 00:14:09,625 Our French wasn't very good at the time. 334 00:14:09,649 --> 00:14:10,793 When were you robbed? 335 00:14:10,817 --> 00:14:12,661 How did you know we were robbed? 336 00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:15,297 Well, that's what usually gets folks like you in here. 337 00:14:15,321 --> 00:14:16,765 Now, don't be ashamed. 338 00:14:16,789 --> 00:14:19,101 It's no crime to want to protect yourselves. 339 00:14:19,125 --> 00:14:21,337 We just never thought we'd buy a gun. 340 00:14:21,361 --> 00:14:25,073 Well, I think this might be your style. 341 00:14:25,097 --> 00:14:28,232 Most of the pacifists who come in here seem to like it. 342 00:14:29,603 --> 00:14:33,215 Well, I... I... I never... I never h-held a gun before. 343 00:14:33,239 --> 00:14:36,240 This is, uh... Uh, going to take a minute. 344 00:14:41,781 --> 00:14:44,048 Oh, it's you. 345 00:14:46,752 --> 00:14:49,165 They are intimidating, aren't they? 346 00:14:49,189 --> 00:14:52,234 That's what makes them so popular. 347 00:14:52,258 --> 00:14:53,268 What do you think? 348 00:14:53,292 --> 00:14:56,038 I don't know. 349 00:14:56,062 --> 00:14:58,908 Part of me wants to and part of me doesn't. 350 00:14:58,932 --> 00:15:01,199 Which part has the wallet? 351 00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:10,219 Steven, do you realize I...? 352 00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:13,088 I hold in my hand the power to take a human life? 353 00:15:13,112 --> 00:15:17,559 What you're holding is the power to save a life. 354 00:15:17,583 --> 00:15:20,262 Put it down, anyway. 355 00:15:20,286 --> 00:15:23,032 Honey, if... If somebody broke into the house right now, 356 00:15:23,056 --> 00:15:24,967 we wouldn't be helpless. That's important. 357 00:15:24,991 --> 00:15:26,835 Yeah, I know that, but it's... It's like the time 358 00:15:26,859 --> 00:15:29,037 your father sent us that moose head for our anniversary. 359 00:15:29,061 --> 00:15:31,140 It's just not us. 360 00:15:31,164 --> 00:15:35,678 We're not going to hang the gun over the fireplace. 361 00:15:35,702 --> 00:15:38,080 We're not hanging the moose head there, either. 362 00:15:38,104 --> 00:15:39,715 Let's not get into that argument again. 363 00:15:39,739 --> 00:15:41,651 I was wrong about the moose head. 364 00:15:41,675 --> 00:15:43,285 Let it stay in Alex's room. 365 00:15:43,309 --> 00:15:44,720 Okay. 366 00:15:44,744 --> 00:15:46,188 All I'm saying is that 367 00:15:46,212 --> 00:15:49,458 we're going to put the gun in a drawer and forget about it. 368 00:15:49,482 --> 00:15:50,626 Are you with me on this? 369 00:15:50,650 --> 00:15:52,494 I'm willing to try. All right. 370 00:15:52,518 --> 00:15:55,264 I'll keep the gun in my drawer. 371 00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:57,722 We'll keep the bullets in yours. 372 00:16:00,393 --> 00:16:01,926 Well, here I go. 373 00:16:04,030 --> 00:16:06,909 I'm picking up the gun now. 374 00:16:06,933 --> 00:16:11,080 I've got the gun and I'm taking it to the dresser. 375 00:16:11,104 --> 00:16:13,082 Opening the drawer. 376 00:16:13,106 --> 00:16:16,240 And I'm putting the gun inside. 377 00:16:17,777 --> 00:16:19,254 Closing the drawer. 378 00:16:19,278 --> 00:16:20,523 Put the bullets away for me. 379 00:16:20,547 --> 00:16:22,587 My God, Elyse! You could have killed me! 380 00:16:23,984 --> 00:16:25,394 Bullets are only dangerous 381 00:16:25,418 --> 00:16:27,584 when they come directly out of a gun. 382 00:16:35,728 --> 00:16:37,840 Okay, now I'll tell the kids. 383 00:16:37,864 --> 00:16:39,208 You don't have to tiptoe, Steven. 384 00:16:39,232 --> 00:16:42,011 Guns don't go off by themselves. 385 00:16:42,035 --> 00:16:43,955 You'd make a lousy defense lawyer. 386 00:16:44,604 --> 00:16:45,769 Alex, Mallory, Jen... 387 00:16:48,241 --> 00:16:49,785 Hi, Dad. Hi. 388 00:16:49,809 --> 00:16:52,855 Um, we were just coming up to kiss you both good night. 389 00:16:52,879 --> 00:16:54,356 You haven't even had dinner yet. 390 00:16:54,380 --> 00:16:55,557 We might forget. 391 00:16:55,581 --> 00:16:57,226 We didn't want to take any chances. 392 00:16:57,250 --> 00:16:59,728 Why don't you come on in. We wanted to talk to you anyway. 393 00:16:59,752 --> 00:17:01,163 Yeah, we thought something was up 394 00:17:01,187 --> 00:17:03,999 when you two snuck up here with that package and shut the door. 395 00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:05,433 Kids, 396 00:17:05,457 --> 00:17:07,502 what you are about to see 397 00:17:07,526 --> 00:17:10,961 is strictly off-limits to all of you. 398 00:17:12,265 --> 00:17:14,142 And if you weren't mature enough, 399 00:17:14,166 --> 00:17:16,646 I wouldn't let you see it at all. 400 00:17:19,072 --> 00:17:21,617 When did you start wearing colored underwear, Dad? 401 00:17:21,641 --> 00:17:24,019 Uh, oh, wrong drawer. 402 00:17:24,043 --> 00:17:26,563 But, uh, don't touch that stuff either. 403 00:17:30,349 --> 00:17:34,029 Wow, a gun. Can I take that to school for show-and-tell? 404 00:17:34,053 --> 00:17:37,166 Absolutely not. You're never to touch it. 405 00:17:37,190 --> 00:17:38,600 We only showed it to you 406 00:17:38,624 --> 00:17:40,769 because we don't want you to stumble upon it by accident. 407 00:17:40,793 --> 00:17:44,606 But we trust you enough to know that you'll leave it alone. 408 00:17:44,630 --> 00:17:47,576 I don't get it. I thought you two were against guns. 409 00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:49,711 Come over here and sit down. 410 00:17:49,735 --> 00:17:51,413 We'll try and explain it to you. 411 00:17:51,437 --> 00:17:54,550 Uh, this isn't gonna require another family meeting, is it? 412 00:17:54,574 --> 00:17:58,787 No, no, no. Look, Mommy and I love you very much, 413 00:17:58,811 --> 00:18:01,623 and we'll do whatever we have to, to make sure you're safe. 414 00:18:01,647 --> 00:18:04,593 Now, we'd be a lot happier if there were no such things 415 00:18:04,617 --> 00:18:05,661 as guns in the world, 416 00:18:05,685 --> 00:18:07,363 but we can't ignore them. 417 00:18:07,387 --> 00:18:11,132 If a gun will keep someone from hurting us, then, uh, 418 00:18:11,156 --> 00:18:12,935 we'll have to make that concession. 419 00:18:12,959 --> 00:18:15,237 We still believe in everything we've always believed in. 420 00:18:15,261 --> 00:18:18,974 I mean, we haven't changed. It's just the world has changed. 421 00:18:18,998 --> 00:18:20,175 Do you understand? 422 00:18:20,199 --> 00:18:23,279 Is that the biggest gun they had? 423 00:18:23,303 --> 00:18:26,048 Would you prefer a flamethrower and some grenades? 424 00:18:26,072 --> 00:18:27,816 Okay, now, look, 425 00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:31,153 I think we should just try and put the gun out of our minds. 426 00:18:31,177 --> 00:18:33,755 Hopefully we'll never have to take it out of the drawer. 427 00:18:33,779 --> 00:18:35,557 So let's just forget it's there. Okay? 428 00:18:35,581 --> 00:18:36,825 Okay. Yeah. 429 00:18:36,849 --> 00:18:38,760 Okay. What do you say we go downstairs and eat? 430 00:18:38,784 --> 00:18:39,762 Mm. Yeah. 431 00:18:39,786 --> 00:18:41,330 Great. What are we having? 432 00:18:41,354 --> 00:18:43,487 Hamburgers on sesame-seed guns. 433 00:18:44,590 --> 00:18:45,690 Buns. 434 00:18:50,429 --> 00:18:51,429 Going hunting? 435 00:18:52,665 --> 00:18:53,942 I thought you were asleep. 436 00:18:53,966 --> 00:18:56,545 Steven, you've been up four times to check the gun. 437 00:18:56,569 --> 00:18:58,113 I don't think it's going anywhere. 438 00:18:58,137 --> 00:19:01,750 I'm sorry, honey. It's just making me a little nervous. 439 00:19:01,774 --> 00:19:03,552 Do you think mothballs are bad for the gun? 440 00:19:03,576 --> 00:19:06,555 If they are, then we'll just shoot the moths. 441 00:19:06,579 --> 00:19:08,457 I don't know, Elyse. Ever since the robbery 442 00:19:08,481 --> 00:19:10,493 I've been a little extra cautious. 443 00:19:10,517 --> 00:19:12,695 It's affected us all. 444 00:19:12,719 --> 00:19:14,997 I haven't just been worrying about the gun, either. 445 00:19:15,021 --> 00:19:17,299 I checked the kids six times tonight. 446 00:19:17,323 --> 00:19:19,101 Checked the car. 447 00:19:19,125 --> 00:19:20,245 One of the tires is low. 448 00:19:21,661 --> 00:19:23,471 The plants are holding. 449 00:19:23,495 --> 00:19:25,641 I'm worried about Alex too. 450 00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:28,243 Sleeping all the way over at Jimmy Barkham's house. 451 00:19:28,267 --> 00:19:30,379 The Barkhams live next door. 452 00:19:30,403 --> 00:19:32,614 Let's not split hairs, Elyse. He's not in his bed. 453 00:19:32,638 --> 00:19:34,705 Get some rest, sweetie. 454 00:19:52,225 --> 00:19:54,958 Know what I admire most about you, Elyse? 455 00:19:56,962 --> 00:19:59,874 My incomparable charm and beauty? 456 00:19:59,898 --> 00:20:03,545 Your ability to fall asleep in any situation. 457 00:20:03,569 --> 00:20:05,514 That was my next guess. 458 00:20:06,739 --> 00:20:07,850 What was that? 459 00:20:07,874 --> 00:20:08,884 I don't know. 460 00:20:08,908 --> 00:20:10,852 Oh! 461 00:20:10,876 --> 00:20:12,554 Somebody's downstairs. 462 00:20:12,578 --> 00:20:13,755 Stay here. 463 00:20:13,779 --> 00:20:15,178 I'm going down. 464 00:20:26,225 --> 00:20:27,669 Stop where you are! 465 00:20:27,693 --> 00:20:29,071 Come on, get the lights. 466 00:20:29,095 --> 00:20:31,640 Dad! Dad, open up. It's me, Alex. 467 00:20:31,664 --> 00:20:33,497 Your firstborn. 468 00:20:35,868 --> 00:20:37,813 Alex, what are you doing here? 469 00:20:37,837 --> 00:20:39,481 I live here, remember? 470 00:20:39,505 --> 00:20:41,684 But you're supposed to be at Jimmy's. 471 00:20:41,708 --> 00:20:45,788 We had a big fight over social security. 472 00:20:45,812 --> 00:20:47,289 He was for it. ELYSE: Oh! 473 00:20:47,313 --> 00:20:49,457 I... I... I... I felt I couldn't compromise my principles 474 00:20:49,481 --> 00:20:50,592 and stay there. 475 00:20:50,616 --> 00:20:52,093 I dropped some things in the closet. 476 00:20:52,117 --> 00:20:53,862 I hope I didn't wake you. 477 00:20:53,886 --> 00:20:56,831 Wake us? Yeah... Alex, you scared us to death. 478 00:20:56,855 --> 00:20:58,533 We thought you were a prowler. 479 00:20:58,557 --> 00:21:01,058 If you hadn't spoken up I might have... 480 00:21:02,094 --> 00:21:04,394 Challenged me to a game of tennis? 481 00:21:05,598 --> 00:21:07,476 Where is the gun, Steven? 482 00:21:07,500 --> 00:21:10,646 I... I... I... I... I went to get it. I opened the drawer. 483 00:21:10,670 --> 00:21:12,336 I even picked it up. 484 00:21:14,807 --> 00:21:16,318 I just couldn't do it. 485 00:21:16,342 --> 00:21:19,421 I guess I was just afraid somebody would get hurt. 486 00:21:19,445 --> 00:21:21,323 I know, and I love you for it. 487 00:21:21,347 --> 00:21:22,324 Mwah. Well... 488 00:21:22,348 --> 00:21:23,780 So do I. 489 00:21:27,887 --> 00:21:30,532 Lis... Listen, this whole thing has shaken me up a little bit, 490 00:21:30,556 --> 00:21:33,435 so, uh, if you don't mind, I n... I need a drink. 491 00:21:33,459 --> 00:21:36,359 Yeah. I think the Scotch is in... Wait a minute. 492 00:21:38,031 --> 00:21:39,991 Thought I could slip that one by you. 493 00:21:40,733 --> 00:21:42,010 Is it safe to come down now? 494 00:21:42,034 --> 00:21:45,247 Yeah. Yeah. It's safe. It was just Alex. 495 00:21:45,271 --> 00:21:47,249 Did you shoot him, Dad? No. 496 00:21:47,273 --> 00:21:51,253 No. There's going to be no shooting in this house. No guns. 497 00:21:51,277 --> 00:21:53,221 We're taking it back in the morning. Right, Elyse? 498 00:21:53,245 --> 00:21:55,591 Right. When you believed in something as long as we have 499 00:21:55,615 --> 00:21:57,359 you can't change overnight. 500 00:21:57,383 --> 00:21:59,995 I know. I realized that the minute I picked up the gun. 501 00:22:00,019 --> 00:22:01,663 Guns have no place in our lives. 502 00:22:01,687 --> 00:22:03,265 We've worn out too many pairs of sneakers 503 00:22:03,289 --> 00:22:05,400 triyng to get people to put guns down. 504 00:22:05,424 --> 00:22:07,836 Good. I have to admit I haven't real felt comfortable 505 00:22:07,860 --> 00:22:09,137 since we've had it in the house. 506 00:22:09,161 --> 00:22:12,374 Guns aren't the right image for you guys anyway. 507 00:22:12,398 --> 00:22:16,512 Don't you guys still believe that all you need is love? 508 00:22:16,536 --> 00:22:18,714 Careful, Jennifer, don't get them started. 509 00:22:18,738 --> 00:22:20,983 Do you remember when we staged that antiwar sit-in on the... 510 00:22:21,007 --> 00:22:22,985 On the steps of the Justice Department? 511 00:22:23,009 --> 00:22:25,054 Too late. They're back in the '60s. 512 00:22:25,078 --> 00:22:26,788 Of course I remember. That was a great day. 513 00:22:26,812 --> 00:22:28,523 We beat the National Guard 6 to 1 514 00:22:28,547 --> 00:22:29,858 in the Frisbee tournament. 515 00:22:29,882 --> 00:22:31,860 I hope you're satisfied, Jennifer. 516 00:22:31,884 --> 00:22:33,429 Hey, look on the bright side. 517 00:22:33,453 --> 00:22:34,796 At least it's not that story 518 00:22:34,820 --> 00:22:38,233 of how they danced naked in the rain at Woodstock. 519 00:22:38,257 --> 00:22:40,002 Do you remember what you said to me 520 00:22:40,026 --> 00:22:42,537 just before they took us all away? 521 00:22:42,561 --> 00:22:46,641 You said, "The day I pick up a weapon against another man 522 00:22:46,665 --> 00:22:49,105 is the day I admit defeat as a human being." 523 00:22:50,536 --> 00:22:51,546 I said that? 524 00:22:51,570 --> 00:22:53,448 I think it was you. 525 00:22:53,472 --> 00:22:54,850 Were you wearing a plaid shirt? 526 00:22:54,874 --> 00:22:56,551 Oh, Elyse. I... I... I'm teasing. 527 00:22:56,575 --> 00:22:57,953 I know it was you. 528 00:22:57,977 --> 00:23:01,189 But, you know, I remember thinking when you said that, 529 00:23:01,213 --> 00:23:03,580 "This guy is really deep." 530 00:23:06,452 --> 00:23:10,064 Okay, so maybe a... A gun isn't the answer for us. 531 00:23:10,088 --> 00:23:11,733 We'll probably still be scared for a while. 532 00:23:11,757 --> 00:23:14,403 But I'd rather live with that fear than to live with a gun. 533 00:23:14,427 --> 00:23:16,137 Me too. We'll just have to keep searching 534 00:23:16,161 --> 00:23:17,639 for the right thing for us. 535 00:23:17,663 --> 00:23:20,097 Would you consider land mines in the front lawn? 536 00:23:21,233 --> 00:23:22,377 No. 537 00:23:22,401 --> 00:23:24,346 We'll have maps. 538 00:23:24,370 --> 00:23:25,614 How about bodyguards? 539 00:23:25,638 --> 00:23:27,949 The captain of the football team looks real strong. 540 00:23:27,973 --> 00:23:29,384 Nice try. 541 00:23:29,408 --> 00:23:31,019 I've got it! 542 00:23:31,043 --> 00:23:32,154 Killer bees! 38169

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