Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:27,334 --> 00:00:29,871
Subtitles: swsub.com (1.01)
Transcript: SimonP
2
00:00:37,259 --> 00:00:39,287
You wouldn't steal a handbag.
3
00:00:40,191 --> 00:00:41,917
You wouldn't steal a car.
4
00:00:42,923 --> 00:00:45,007
You wouldn't steal a baby.
5
00:00:46,165 --> 00:00:48,095
You wouldn't shoot a policeman...
6
00:00:48,264 --> 00:00:49,888
and then steal his helmet.
7
00:00:51,331 --> 00:00:53,794
You wouldn't
go to the toilet in his helmet...
8
00:00:55,211 --> 00:00:58,751
And then send it to the
policeman's grieving widow...
9
00:00:59,731 --> 00:01:01,415
And then steal it again!
10
00:01:04,746 --> 00:01:07,300
Downloading films is stealing.
11
00:01:07,741 --> 00:01:11,262
If you do it,
you will face the consequences.
12
00:01:16,767 --> 00:01:19,441
Man, these anti-piracy ads
are getting really mean.
13
00:01:19,654 --> 00:01:21,686
I think we're sitting
too close to the screen.
14
00:01:21,826 --> 00:01:25,107
- The floor's all sticky over here.
- Allright, let's move back then.
15
00:01:33,912 --> 00:01:36,877
- I still think we're too close.
- Well, then sit in the sink.
16
00:01:37,017 --> 00:01:38,982
I'm not sitting in the sink again.
17
00:01:39,483 --> 00:01:40,973
OK, princess.
18
00:01:41,745 --> 00:01:43,842
Your flat is way too
small for this telly...
19
00:01:43,982 --> 00:01:45,467
That's fantastic.
20
00:01:48,780 --> 00:01:51,035
- What's wrong, now?
- I need to go to the toilet.
21
00:01:51,175 --> 00:01:52,545
Well, then go.
22
00:01:57,555 --> 00:01:58,851
I'll hold it in.
23
00:02:03,358 --> 00:02:04,734
- Hello?
- Hello, Roy.
24
00:02:04,876 --> 00:02:06,645
- Hello, Jeff.
- No, Roy,
25
00:02:06,785 --> 00:02:08,834
you know I changed my name
by deed poll...
26
00:02:08,974 --> 00:02:11,992
- I'm not calling you Dominator.
- But I am Dominator!
27
00:02:12,252 --> 00:02:14,665
- Whatever. I'm not calling you it.
- Forget it.
28
00:02:14,805 --> 00:02:18,416
Now... listen, I was just wondering,
have you seen the new Tarantino film?
29
00:02:18,707 --> 00:02:21,943
- I'm just about to watch it, Jeff.
- I have already seen it!
30
00:02:23,673 --> 00:02:26,500
Anyway, at the end,
there's a very unusual twist.
31
00:02:30,946 --> 00:02:32,420
Now I know there's a twist.
32
00:02:32,560 --> 00:02:35,907
I'm gonna spend the whole film guessing
what it is. Damn you, Dominator.
33
00:02:36,188 --> 00:02:39,714
- Just try and forget there's a twist.
- How can you forget there's a twist?
34
00:02:40,770 --> 00:02:43,738
What's wrong with it now? Come on.
35
00:02:44,324 --> 00:02:47,144
If I don't see this film today,
Jeff'll find out some way
36
00:02:47,316 --> 00:02:50,258
of telling me what the twist is,
I know he will. Come on!
37
00:02:51,017 --> 00:02:52,125
Work!
38
00:02:54,291 --> 00:02:55,940
Look, I have to go.
39
00:02:56,749 --> 00:02:57,763
Moss?
40
00:03:00,376 --> 00:03:02,707
- What's up with you?
- I can't do this anymore!
41
00:03:02,850 --> 00:03:05,387
Do what? What are you talking about?
Let me help...
42
00:03:06,230 --> 00:03:08,906
- Back off.
- We're just watching the film, Moss.
43
00:03:09,236 --> 00:03:11,604
- Come on, can't you see it?
- See what, Moss?
44
00:03:11,810 --> 00:03:14,590
We go to a film, sometimes the pub,
maybe get some dinner,
45
00:03:14,744 --> 00:03:18,118
but it just goes on and on,
year in, year out. We're stagnating!
46
00:03:18,258 --> 00:03:20,478
You make it sound like
we're an old married couple.
47
00:03:20,620 --> 00:03:23,229
But we are. Can't you see?
You're my wife, Roy!
48
00:03:23,491 --> 00:03:25,051
You're my wife. My wife!
49
00:03:25,193 --> 00:03:27,820
We should have married ladies
but we married each other.
50
00:03:27,971 --> 00:03:30,031
- You're my wife!
- Stop calling me your wife.
51
00:03:30,179 --> 00:03:32,772
You're my wife, Roy,
and I can't take it any more.
52
00:03:37,824 --> 00:03:40,242
If anything, I'm the husband.
53
00:04:31,344 --> 00:04:33,189
What's this? What's this?
54
00:04:33,502 --> 00:04:35,965
- Come on.
- We don't even have ventilation here.
55
00:04:36,105 --> 00:04:38,167
- I'll stand over here.
- I don't care.
56
00:04:39,154 --> 00:04:41,980
I don't wanna go out on the street.
It's too...
57
00:04:42,675 --> 00:04:43,989
Soviet out there.
58
00:04:44,998 --> 00:04:46,073
- Soviet?
- Yes.
59
00:04:46,213 --> 00:04:48,488
It's cold, everyone looks oppressed.
60
00:04:48,628 --> 00:04:51,082
You know,
I remember when smoking was fun.
61
00:04:51,222 --> 00:04:52,861
All the cool kids were doing it.
62
00:04:53,001 --> 00:04:56,006
Every time I want a cigarette now
I have to go to Gorky Park.
63
00:04:57,291 --> 00:04:58,750
- Don't answer that!
- Why?
64
00:04:58,890 --> 00:05:00,793
I know who it is.
It's a man called Dominator
65
00:05:00,935 --> 00:05:04,187
who wants to tell me the twist in a film
I've been waiting to see for ages.
66
00:05:04,333 --> 00:05:05,922
- Don't answer it.
- Dominator?
67
00:05:06,064 --> 00:05:08,495
- His name is Jeff Hawthorne.
- We must answer the phone.
68
00:05:08,635 --> 00:05:10,884
No, we don't.
Look, he'll give up in a second.
69
00:05:11,024 --> 00:05:15,027
I know Jeff. He'll need to go
to the toilet in about another 2 rings.
70
00:05:22,687 --> 00:05:25,655
- We're answering the phone.
- We are not answering the phones.
71
00:05:33,711 --> 00:05:35,767
- You all right, Moss?
- I've got the blues, Jen.
72
00:05:36,853 --> 00:05:37,853
Why?
73
00:05:38,017 --> 00:05:41,027
Well, Roy and I are becoming
like an old married couple.
74
00:05:41,167 --> 00:05:43,239
Will you please stop saying that?
75
00:05:43,542 --> 00:05:44,753
And I'm the husband!
76
00:05:45,429 --> 00:05:47,901
We just seem to do the same thing
day in, day out.
77
00:05:48,041 --> 00:05:51,129
I'm stagnating, Jen,
like a packet of crisps on the roof.
78
00:05:51,452 --> 00:05:54,794
It seems to me the problem is that
you two spend too much time together.
79
00:05:54,935 --> 00:05:56,954
You should get out there
meet other people.
80
00:05:57,660 --> 00:05:58,928
Other people?
81
00:05:59,753 --> 00:06:00,753
Yes.
82
00:06:02,777 --> 00:06:05,293
You mean people other than Roy?
83
00:06:05,678 --> 00:06:06,805
Well, yes.
84
00:06:07,012 --> 00:06:10,313
And these "other people",
where do they congregate?
85
00:06:10,511 --> 00:06:13,088
I don't know, you could do
an evening class or something.
86
00:06:13,228 --> 00:06:15,618
Hold on a second.
What exactly am I supposed to do
87
00:06:15,760 --> 00:06:18,445
while she's out gallivanting
at her night classes and whatnot?
88
00:06:18,593 --> 00:06:20,427
You could meet other people as well.
89
00:06:20,593 --> 00:06:23,013
Yeah. I don't like people.
90
00:06:23,601 --> 00:06:26,584
Well, now that's not fair, Roy.
Have you met all of them?
91
00:06:26,724 --> 00:06:28,107
I've met enough of them.
92
00:06:28,894 --> 00:06:30,064
People!
93
00:06:30,496 --> 00:06:32,625
What a bunch of bastards!
94
00:06:35,758 --> 00:06:37,665
Stephanie? Yes, hello.
95
00:06:38,451 --> 00:06:40,324
Of course... OK. Bye.
96
00:06:41,693 --> 00:06:42,707
I'm off.
97
00:06:42,850 --> 00:06:45,142
- Douglas is coming down.
- Douglas? Why?
98
00:06:45,734 --> 00:06:48,448
Well, to be honest with you,
he's been making advances.
99
00:06:48,601 --> 00:06:50,010
You know, things like
100
00:06:50,157 --> 00:06:52,668
asking me if I wanna go
for a ride in his helicopter.
101
00:06:52,819 --> 00:06:56,091
- I wanna go for a ride in a helicopter.
- Well, grow a pair of tits.
102
00:06:57,695 --> 00:06:59,888
Tell you what, if I did have tits,
I wouldn't mind
103
00:07:00,028 --> 00:07:02,953
letting someone have a go on them
for a ride in a helicopter.
104
00:07:05,080 --> 00:07:06,545
Look who it is, everyone.
105
00:07:06,701 --> 00:07:08,038
It's only me.
106
00:07:09,183 --> 00:07:10,516
Jen, do you have a moment?
107
00:07:10,664 --> 00:07:13,664
No, I'm very busy. I don't wanna
go for a ride in a helicopter.
108
00:07:14,399 --> 00:07:17,396
- That wasn't what I was gonna ask.
- What d'you want, then?
109
00:07:19,344 --> 00:07:21,485
Something work-related?
110
00:07:22,179 --> 00:07:25,128
- What department is this?
- Sorry?
111
00:07:25,312 --> 00:07:28,964
If it's work-related, obviously,
you'll know what department this is.
112
00:07:29,226 --> 00:07:30,668
What department is this?
113
00:07:32,480 --> 00:07:35,112
Some sort of homosexual department?
114
00:07:35,418 --> 00:07:36,567
It's IT!
115
00:07:37,100 --> 00:07:39,191
IT. I knew that, yes.
116
00:07:39,331 --> 00:07:40,879
That's what I wanted, actually.
117
00:07:41,025 --> 00:07:45,297
You see, my computer's broken
and I need someone to fix it.
118
00:07:45,881 --> 00:07:47,299
Roy's your man.
119
00:07:50,611 --> 00:07:52,941
How do you fellas get any work done
with a hot piece
120
00:07:53,089 --> 00:07:54,996
of finger-licking chicken like that?
121
00:07:56,094 --> 00:07:59,261
Me? I'd be a 24-hour tripod.
122
00:08:00,710 --> 00:08:02,128
Watch this, it looks good.
123
00:08:03,592 --> 00:08:06,144
I've actually been
looking forward to seeing this.
124
00:08:06,284 --> 00:08:08,849
Yeah? You wanna come round to mine?
We can watch it there.
125
00:08:09,018 --> 00:08:11,135
I gotta pretty nifty home cinema system.
126
00:08:11,275 --> 00:08:14,236
Mine is broken but I think
that maybe I'll just watch it...
127
00:08:14,376 --> 00:08:16,883
Excellent, that's settled!
Seven o'clock tonight.
128
00:08:17,024 --> 00:08:20,141
I'll get my PA to phone you
with my name and address.
129
00:08:22,819 --> 00:08:23,819
Whoa, there.
130
00:08:24,780 --> 00:08:26,147
That's not my office.
131
00:08:29,610 --> 00:08:32,023
Well, what's good for the goose
is good for the gander.
132
00:08:32,459 --> 00:08:33,746
And I'm the gander!
133
00:08:42,142 --> 00:08:44,996
I hear the ballet in Prague
is excellent this season.
134
00:08:45,766 --> 00:08:48,236
- Hello, Yorg.
- Hello, Jen.
135
00:08:49,412 --> 00:08:52,375
Terrible isn't it?
Every year it gets worse.
136
00:08:52,515 --> 00:08:54,661
First they take away
our smoking room,
137
00:08:55,056 --> 00:08:56,839
then they push us outside.
138
00:08:56,979 --> 00:09:00,318
I wonder when they will decide
to get it over with and kill us.
139
00:09:00,458 --> 00:09:01,925
Yorg...
140
00:09:02,611 --> 00:09:04,217
Such a pessimist.
141
00:09:07,289 --> 00:09:08,801
- Has he gone?
- Has who gone?
142
00:09:09,101 --> 00:09:10,106
Bruce Wayne.
143
00:09:10,576 --> 00:09:13,496
He's long gone, although
Roy's got a man date with him.
144
00:09:14,739 --> 00:09:16,359
It is not a man date.
145
00:09:16,499 --> 00:09:20,382
I am not a man-woman,
we are not married, I am not your wife!
146
00:09:21,368 --> 00:09:23,218
You'd willingly spend time
with Douglas?
147
00:09:23,358 --> 00:09:26,072
I really have to see this film soon.
148
00:09:29,544 --> 00:09:32,141
By the way, I took your advice
about those evening classes.
149
00:09:32,281 --> 00:09:35,579
- I'm gonna learn how to cook.
- Oh, I'm so pleased, Moss!
150
00:09:35,873 --> 00:09:37,869
And I have to say women do love a cook.
151
00:09:38,009 --> 00:09:39,686
Well, answered an ad online.
152
00:09:39,826 --> 00:09:43,254
This time next month, when you want
German cuisine, I'm your man.
153
00:09:44,690 --> 00:09:45,822
German cuisine?
154
00:09:46,132 --> 00:09:48,010
Is German cuisine not good?
155
00:09:48,198 --> 00:09:49,785
No. Sounds fine.
156
00:09:49,986 --> 00:09:52,880
There's nothing more romantic
than a glass of wine and some...
157
00:09:53,029 --> 00:09:54,222
... Schweinefleisch.
158
00:09:55,714 --> 00:09:59,610
Good, because usually when I try
something new it ends up a disaster.
159
00:10:02,024 --> 00:10:04,203
I got a reply to my advertisement.
160
00:10:04,493 --> 00:10:06,108
Maurice Moss.
161
00:10:07,789 --> 00:10:09,654
He sounds delicious!
162
00:10:43,023 --> 00:10:44,950
Guten Abend. I mean hello.
163
00:10:45,110 --> 00:10:47,988
- Hello. I'm Moss.
- Yes, yes. I'm Johann.
164
00:10:48,218 --> 00:10:49,598
Come in, come in.
165
00:10:50,307 --> 00:10:51,626
Nice TV.
166
00:10:51,859 --> 00:10:53,597
Good distance from the sofa.
167
00:10:55,999 --> 00:10:57,813
Would you like a drink?
168
00:10:58,194 --> 00:10:59,557
White Russian, please.
169
00:10:59,712 --> 00:11:02,293
- I don't know that. How do you make it?
- I don't know.
170
00:11:03,278 --> 00:11:04,905
We might as well get to it.
171
00:11:05,261 --> 00:11:06,553
Really? Gosh.
172
00:11:06,712 --> 00:11:08,499
So eager, so brave.
173
00:11:08,984 --> 00:11:12,436
Well, once I've made up my mind
to do something, that's it.
174
00:11:12,583 --> 00:11:15,849
- That's very admirable.
- So just do whatever you want with me,
175
00:11:15,989 --> 00:11:17,609
I'm ready for anything.
176
00:11:18,152 --> 00:11:21,450
Well, right! I will I suppose...
Take your clothes off,
177
00:11:21,590 --> 00:11:23,645
- and we'll get started.
- Right.
178
00:11:26,187 --> 00:11:28,875
- So how long does this course last?
- Sorry?
179
00:11:29,038 --> 00:11:31,699
- How long does this course last?
- Course, what course?
180
00:11:32,885 --> 00:11:35,308
- Hang on, take my clothes off?
- Yes.
181
00:11:36,866 --> 00:11:39,466
- Sorry. I'm confused.
- Well, so am I.
182
00:11:39,909 --> 00:11:41,421
What did you think this was?
183
00:11:41,732 --> 00:11:44,139
Well, I was going to eat you.
184
00:11:48,772 --> 00:11:50,772
I may have misheard you there.
185
00:11:52,237 --> 00:11:54,638
Did you just say
that you were going to eat me?
186
00:11:54,864 --> 00:11:56,676
- Right, you did say that.
- Yes.
187
00:11:57,253 --> 00:12:00,398
- Yeah, no, I'm here for the cookery.
- No, this is the cookery.
188
00:12:01,141 --> 00:12:03,371
Look, I've got your advert here.
189
00:12:04,479 --> 00:12:05,766
I printed it out.
190
00:12:08,049 --> 00:12:09,465
"I want to cook with you."
191
00:12:10,231 --> 00:12:12,522
No, my English is not so good...
192
00:12:14,721 --> 00:12:17,518
You want to cook with me,
using me, you mean.
193
00:12:18,120 --> 00:12:20,049
Ah yes! Yes. You see.
194
00:12:20,580 --> 00:12:23,766
I see where the confusion was.
I thought this was a cookery course.
195
00:12:26,359 --> 00:12:29,687
But you wanted someone who would
agree to let you kill and eat them.
196
00:12:30,832 --> 00:12:32,527
Ja! You see?
197
00:12:32,669 --> 00:12:34,091
That is funny.
198
00:12:36,389 --> 00:12:38,996
So you're not interested?
199
00:12:39,191 --> 00:12:40,890
No, thanks, it's not for me.
200
00:12:48,228 --> 00:12:49,641
How disappointing.
201
00:12:51,201 --> 00:12:54,118
I'm sorry, Johann,
this must be such a let down.
202
00:12:56,636 --> 00:12:59,620
Had my tonsils out last month,
I could have kept them.
203
00:13:03,098 --> 00:13:04,930
I feel like such a turnip.
204
00:13:07,117 --> 00:13:09,364
- Do you want to watch a film?
- OK.
205
00:13:09,598 --> 00:13:12,314
- I have Ocean's Eleven.
- Original or remake?
206
00:13:14,563 --> 00:13:17,926
Well, yeah, you could come over here,
we could put on some music,
207
00:13:18,226 --> 00:13:20,792
I could give you a back rub,
see what happens.
208
00:13:21,615 --> 00:13:24,747
Oh, no, wait, I've got this guy
coming over to watch a DVD.
209
00:13:24,940 --> 00:13:26,533
Another time, maybe. OK.
210
00:13:26,745 --> 00:13:28,948
And some chicken wings, please.
Thank you.
211
00:13:33,319 --> 00:13:35,105
There's somebody at the door!
212
00:13:35,328 --> 00:13:36,894
There's somebody at the door!
213
00:13:37,274 --> 00:13:39,159
There's somebody at the door!
214
00:13:42,703 --> 00:13:44,137
Hey, it's my G!
215
00:13:46,181 --> 00:13:49,402
- I'm really sorry I was late. It was...
- It's cool.
216
00:13:50,120 --> 00:13:52,665
You know, we should
do this sort of thing more often.
217
00:13:52,913 --> 00:13:55,754
I hate the whole boss/employee
thing, don't you?
218
00:13:56,347 --> 00:13:58,900
- Yeah.
- You wanna seal the deal with a high 5?
219
00:14:00,630 --> 00:14:01,634
Yes.
220
00:14:06,474 --> 00:14:08,213
So, what are we watching?
221
00:14:08,372 --> 00:14:11,709
It's a Tarantino produced,
South Korean zombie movie.
222
00:14:12,221 --> 00:14:15,867
I didn't know there was a South Korea.
OK, put it on.
223
00:14:17,887 --> 00:14:21,100
I've ordered pizza and chicken wings
and there's a cooler beside you,
224
00:14:21,256 --> 00:14:23,860
- so help yourself to beer.
- Don't mind if I do?
225
00:14:35,556 --> 00:14:38,724
I've heard of this flick.
There's a twist in it, isn't there?
226
00:14:40,034 --> 00:14:43,037
Yeah. Just... just try and forget that
227
00:14:43,763 --> 00:14:46,246
and hopefully we'll still be able
to enjoy it.
228
00:14:46,749 --> 00:14:48,377
I bet he's a woman, that bloke.
229
00:14:48,784 --> 00:14:52,059
No, you think it's the future,
but it's actually set in the past.
230
00:14:52,660 --> 00:14:53,881
It's not Earth.
231
00:14:54,518 --> 00:14:56,598
- It's all a dream.
- Oh, could you not...
232
00:14:56,739 --> 00:14:58,511
Could you not try
233
00:14:59,286 --> 00:15:03,461
and guess what the twist is? It's just
that might get a little annoying.
234
00:15:04,172 --> 00:15:07,125
But isn't that half the fun,
trying to guess the twist?
235
00:15:08,086 --> 00:15:11,901
Personally, I think it...
It kind of, it ruins the fun.
236
00:15:13,069 --> 00:15:14,892
Well, I think it makes it more fun.
237
00:15:15,769 --> 00:15:18,412
- It's just I don't.
- Well, I do,
238
00:15:19,388 --> 00:15:21,164
and I'm the boss.
239
00:15:22,131 --> 00:15:23,689
I'm your boss.
240
00:15:31,831 --> 00:15:34,593
They're all clones.
He's his own brother.
241
00:15:35,182 --> 00:15:36,504
Everyone's a ghost.
242
00:15:37,856 --> 00:15:39,960
Have you still not seen the film yet?
243
00:15:41,411 --> 00:15:42,668
What's that?
244
00:15:43,146 --> 00:15:44,153
What?
245
00:15:44,336 --> 00:15:46,832
It's cold and I'm going out
for a cigarette.
246
00:15:48,319 --> 00:15:50,283
Morning. You must be Jen's mother.
247
00:15:52,079 --> 00:15:53,708
What a night I had last night.
248
00:15:53,938 --> 00:15:57,814
- Yes, the cookery, how was it?
- I am so embarrassed,
249
00:15:58,238 --> 00:16:01,203
- I cannot tell you.
- What happened?
250
00:16:01,802 --> 00:16:03,961
It wasn't a cookery class at all.
251
00:16:04,722 --> 00:16:06,802
- What was it?
- He wrote it down wrong,
252
00:16:06,943 --> 00:16:09,594
- cause his English isn't very good.
- Always the way.
253
00:16:09,734 --> 00:16:13,253
And it turns out he didn't want
to teach me how to cook...
254
00:16:14,423 --> 00:16:16,492
He wanted to cook me!
255
00:16:22,852 --> 00:16:23,861
What?
256
00:16:25,258 --> 00:16:26,817
He wanted to eat me!
257
00:16:27,251 --> 00:16:31,019
I know egg and my face
were in alignment.
258
00:16:34,481 --> 00:16:36,277
- He wanted to eat you?
- Yes.
259
00:16:37,990 --> 00:16:40,149
He's one of those German cannibals.
260
00:16:41,353 --> 00:16:43,512
He is and he was such a nice man.
261
00:16:43,848 --> 00:16:45,097
- Was he?
- Yeah.
262
00:16:45,286 --> 00:16:47,251
He was a Fine Young Cannibal.
263
00:16:49,433 --> 00:16:51,058
Hang on...
264
00:16:51,253 --> 00:16:52,850
He wanted to eat you?
265
00:16:53,007 --> 00:16:54,246
Yeah, keep up Jen.
266
00:16:55,649 --> 00:16:57,712
So we had a laugh about it
and in the end,
267
00:16:57,889 --> 00:17:01,358
I didn't really feel like being eaten,
so we just watched Ocean's Eleven.
268
00:17:01,641 --> 00:17:03,127
Original or remake?
269
00:17:03,345 --> 00:17:06,088
Is that really the most
important question? I... hang on,
270
00:17:06,229 --> 00:17:08,682
- You watched a film with him?
- Yes.
271
00:17:08,866 --> 00:17:11,406
- With the man that wanted to eat you?
- Who else?
272
00:17:11,583 --> 00:17:14,521
- Why didn't you call the police?
- Why would I call the police?
273
00:17:14,701 --> 00:17:16,117
He wanted to eat you!
274
00:17:16,388 --> 00:17:19,911
Only with my consent and, believe me,
my consent was not forthcoming.
275
00:17:20,503 --> 00:17:22,078
- Good for you, Moss.
- But...
276
00:17:22,644 --> 00:17:24,573
eating people is illegal!
277
00:17:25,032 --> 00:17:27,811
- Only without their consent.
- No, Moss, no.
278
00:17:27,979 --> 00:17:31,465
- It's a grey area, give me that.
- I knew something was askew.
279
00:17:31,810 --> 00:17:33,457
Who ever heard of German food?
280
00:17:34,668 --> 00:17:36,729
You should see his place,
it's incredible.
281
00:17:36,870 --> 00:17:38,772
He's got a great system, 50" TV.
282
00:17:39,308 --> 00:17:40,317
Really?
283
00:17:43,437 --> 00:17:45,384
Maybe we could watch the film
at his place!
284
00:17:45,649 --> 00:17:46,696
I don't know,
285
00:17:46,836 --> 00:17:49,430
he's only really interested
in people he can eventually eat.
286
00:17:50,800 --> 00:17:53,466
- Tell him he can eat me!
- Are... you insane?
287
00:17:53,625 --> 00:17:55,255
You've got to call the police.
288
00:17:55,397 --> 00:17:58,264
Jen, don't be such
an old fuddy-duddy.
289
00:17:59,149 --> 00:18:00,831
The world has changed.
290
00:18:00,984 --> 00:18:04,648
If two grown men can't make
a pervert happy for a few minutes
291
00:18:05,037 --> 00:18:07,673
in order to watch a film
about zombies,
292
00:18:07,813 --> 00:18:10,539
then maybe we should all just move
to Iran.
293
00:18:12,043 --> 00:18:15,378
I don't know, Roy. It does seem
a little immoral to mislead him.
294
00:18:15,538 --> 00:18:17,502
But then, as Jen pointed out earlier,
295
00:18:17,661 --> 00:18:19,652
being a cannibal's
a little immoral too.
296
00:18:21,416 --> 00:18:23,083
I'm in an ethical pickle.
297
00:18:24,574 --> 00:18:27,391
Turns out meeting new people
is a lot more complicated
298
00:18:27,534 --> 00:18:29,215
than I'd originally thought.
299
00:18:35,727 --> 00:18:36,931
- Yen!
- Yorg.
300
00:18:37,249 --> 00:18:39,400
What are you doing?
You cannot smoke here.
301
00:18:39,577 --> 00:18:41,453
They are moving us
to a new smoking area.
302
00:18:41,860 --> 00:18:45,152
- So the rumours were true...
- Quickly, before they see you.
303
00:19:39,608 --> 00:19:40,882
What are you doing?
304
00:19:41,089 --> 00:19:42,487
It's over, Yorg.
305
00:19:43,184 --> 00:19:44,830
We must fight them, Yen.
306
00:19:44,989 --> 00:19:48,653
We must all fight them. We must
keep smoking until the bitter end!
307
00:19:49,002 --> 00:19:52,243
Yorg. Yorg, such fire.
308
00:19:53,926 --> 00:19:56,475
I am too tired for revolution.
309
00:19:57,731 --> 00:19:59,547
And we've walked f****** miles.
310
00:20:02,477 --> 00:20:03,717
Goodbye, Yorg.
311
00:20:09,194 --> 00:20:10,220
Taxi!
312
00:20:12,650 --> 00:20:14,483
- Let's not fight again.
- No.
313
00:20:14,890 --> 00:20:17,446
And look, we're out,
we're meeting people.
314
00:20:17,634 --> 00:20:18,634
Yes.
315
00:20:24,794 --> 00:20:27,313
- You were a bit wonky.
- Thanks, dear.
316
00:20:28,146 --> 00:20:29,609
Hello!
317
00:20:29,951 --> 00:20:31,784
Hello! How wonderful!
318
00:20:31,951 --> 00:20:34,118
Johann, this is Roy. Roy, this is Johann.
319
00:20:34,284 --> 00:20:36,366
Hello Johann. I brought dessert!
320
00:20:37,477 --> 00:20:39,792
Come in. Come in. Ja.
321
00:20:41,366 --> 00:20:42,922
- This is lovely!
- Yes!
322
00:20:43,255 --> 00:20:44,607
Yes. Lovely.
323
00:20:48,384 --> 00:20:49,690
Isn't this nice!
324
00:20:50,004 --> 00:20:52,902
So we'll watch the film, then
I'll tell him I changed my mind.
325
00:20:53,680 --> 00:20:54,841
Lovely and...
326
00:20:56,588 --> 00:20:58,094
Now, that's a guitar.
327
00:20:59,552 --> 00:21:00,922
So, Roy,
328
00:21:01,237 --> 00:21:03,830
has Moss explained to you...
329
00:21:04,846 --> 00:21:06,772
- ... my desires?
- He has indeed.
330
00:21:06,991 --> 00:21:09,714
- And are you interested?
- I'm very interested.
331
00:21:10,547 --> 00:21:11,584
Splendid!
332
00:21:12,269 --> 00:21:14,458
Moss, if you will excuse us?
333
00:21:14,732 --> 00:21:16,973
- Do you eat in here?
- Yes, this way, please.
334
00:21:18,475 --> 00:21:21,141
But didn't you want to watch
the film that I have here?
335
00:21:23,548 --> 00:21:25,225
I'd completely forgotten.
336
00:21:25,392 --> 00:21:29,184
There was that film that I wanted
to watch before Johann ate me.
337
00:21:30,670 --> 00:21:32,810
- That's right.
- There it is there now.
338
00:21:32,957 --> 00:21:35,309
- Yes.
- So you want to watch a film?
339
00:21:35,511 --> 00:21:37,292
- Yes, thanks.
- Is that OK?
340
00:21:38,362 --> 00:21:40,854
- Yes, of course.
- I'll put it on.
341
00:21:45,711 --> 00:21:47,018
Is it very long?
342
00:21:47,703 --> 00:21:48,821
Two hours, 20.
343
00:21:54,281 --> 00:21:55,633
No, I'll wait.
344
00:21:58,544 --> 00:22:01,061
- You wouldn't steal a handbag...
- These piracy warnings...
345
00:22:02,197 --> 00:22:03,540
Tell me about it.
346
00:22:04,598 --> 00:22:05,614
What now?
347
00:22:08,910 --> 00:22:12,481
You wouldn't shoot a policeman,
then steal his helmet...
348
00:22:12,728 --> 00:22:14,990
Hello, there. Yes, can I help you?
349
00:22:15,157 --> 00:22:17,338
Police! Don't move!
350
00:22:22,886 --> 00:22:25,701
If my mother thinks I'm a cannibal,
I'll be for the high jump.
351
00:22:25,868 --> 00:22:28,460
For once, can we please
not bring your mother into it.
352
00:22:28,627 --> 00:22:29,792
Here we go again!
353
00:22:36,033 --> 00:22:37,163
Well, boys,
354
00:22:38,496 --> 00:22:41,162
we're in a bit of a
sticky situation, aren't we?
355
00:22:46,685 --> 00:22:48,148
Where d'you get this film?
356
00:22:50,333 --> 00:22:53,525
This is an illegal copy of a film.
357
00:22:58,303 --> 00:23:00,590
Are you not worried
that we might be cannibals?
358
00:23:01,016 --> 00:23:02,016
Cannibals?
359
00:23:02,508 --> 00:23:04,230
The man who was with us
360
00:23:04,915 --> 00:23:06,471
is a cannibal.
361
00:23:07,205 --> 00:23:09,980
- He was going to eat me.
- Well, it's not really my area.
362
00:23:10,499 --> 00:23:12,849
I do copyright violation,
that sort of thing,
363
00:23:13,016 --> 00:23:14,395
but I'll let someone know.
364
00:23:14,571 --> 00:23:16,052
Anyway!
365
00:23:16,969 --> 00:23:18,368
Where d'you get this?
366
00:23:22,132 --> 00:23:23,559
Interesting film.
367
00:23:24,744 --> 00:23:28,322
Who'd have thought at the end
that bloke turned out to be the...
0
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
www.tvsubtitles.net
28408
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Swedish
Tajik
Tamil
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof