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1
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Subtitle: swsub.com (1.00)
2
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I've just won four hundred
and fifty grand playing poker!
3
00:00:40,009 --> 00:00:41,018
Well done!
4
00:00:41,239 --> 00:00:43,680
I saw that one coming, Mickey73!
5
00:00:44,261 --> 00:00:47,014
That's my rent sorted this month!
And I can buy that new...
6
00:00:47,459 --> 00:00:49,004
Oh, no, I've lost it all again...
7
00:00:53,152 --> 00:00:55,007
Philip! Hello, hi.
8
00:00:55,774 --> 00:00:57,306
This is Philip, from sixth.
9
00:00:57,932 --> 00:01:00,150
This is Moss, this is... Roy.
10
00:01:00,634 --> 00:01:02,020
- Hi.
- Hiya.
11
00:01:03,315 --> 00:01:05,514
So, what brings you to my lair?
12
00:01:06,724 --> 00:01:08,602
Not that I'm some sort of animal!
13
00:01:10,250 --> 00:01:11,645
Or... maybe I am...
14
00:01:12,896 --> 00:01:14,570
Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear!
15
00:01:15,679 --> 00:01:17,643
I was just...
16
00:01:17,878 --> 00:01:20,906
wondering if you had...
17
00:01:21,145 --> 00:01:22,208
the latest Heat?
18
00:01:23,142 --> 00:01:24,655
Yes, yes. There it is.
19
00:01:24,816 --> 00:01:26,188
Thanks.
20
00:01:27,136 --> 00:01:29,637
Sorry about this.
I don't suppose, maybe...
21
00:01:30,585 --> 00:01:33,431
you'd like to come to theatre
tomorrow night, maybe, or...
22
00:01:33,996 --> 00:01:35,244
I'd be delighted!
23
00:01:38,915 --> 00:01:40,982
- He means me, Moss.
- He was looking at me.
24
00:01:43,257 --> 00:01:44,279
No, he wasn't.
25
00:01:44,421 --> 00:01:45,576
I think he was!
26
00:01:45,825 --> 00:01:47,555
You're not even in his eye line!
27
00:01:47,729 --> 00:01:50,048
Philip, who were you talking to?
Me or Jen?
28
00:01:50,711 --> 00:01:53,640
- Do you like the theatre?
- Never been!
29
00:01:53,811 --> 00:01:56,834
But I've always liked the idea
of the theatre.
30
00:01:57,237 --> 00:01:58,489
The smell of the grease,
31
00:01:58,631 --> 00:01:59,891
the roar of the paint!
32
00:02:00,814 --> 00:02:03,495
I've often thought
if I hadn't ended up in computers,
33
00:02:03,637 --> 00:02:05,119
I would've gone into the theatre.
34
00:02:05,587 --> 00:02:07,157
But you've never been to see a play?
35
00:02:07,343 --> 00:02:08,649
- No.
- Why not?
36
00:02:09,380 --> 00:02:10,590
Never had the interest.
37
00:02:12,302 --> 00:02:13,802
Are there any famous people in it?
38
00:02:14,501 --> 00:02:16,167
It's a pass for me then, thank you.
39
00:02:17,067 --> 00:02:19,925
- You haven't been invited anyways.
- Wait...
40
00:02:20,120 --> 00:02:21,302
Laura Nightly's in it.
41
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Laura Nightly from The Build?
42
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She's gorgeous!
43
00:02:26,170 --> 00:02:28,429
You know what?
I will come, Philip. Thank you!
44
00:02:29,135 --> 00:02:31,570
There's no invitation!
Show me the invitation...
45
00:02:31,764 --> 00:02:33,853
I guess you guys could come too
if you wanted.
46
00:02:34,018 --> 00:02:36,184
I know people in the show,
tickets won't be a problem.
47
00:02:36,326 --> 00:02:37,605
Great! That's settled then.
48
00:02:37,782 --> 00:02:39,784
Great! I will give you a call
49
00:02:39,926 --> 00:02:41,739
and then give you the details.
How's that?
50
00:02:41,881 --> 00:02:43,575
That is perfect in itself, Philip!
51
00:02:43,734 --> 00:02:45,339
Thanks for coming down, man!
52
00:02:45,772 --> 00:02:46,772
Catch you later!
53
00:02:47,634 --> 00:02:50,404
That could have been a date, there...
54
00:02:51,039 --> 00:02:52,460
Now, it's...
55
00:02:53,210 --> 00:02:54,534
a work outing!
56
00:02:56,007 --> 00:02:57,736
Sorry! I forgot the Heat!
57
00:02:58,991 --> 00:03:00,648
It's... it's...
58
00:03:09,722 --> 00:03:10,722
What?
59
00:03:10,940 --> 00:03:13,269
He actually did want
to borrow the copy of Heat.
60
00:03:17,708 --> 00:03:20,080
- So?
- Well, it's just... you know...
61
00:03:21,238 --> 00:03:23,524
- No, I don't. What?
- I'm just surprised.
62
00:03:24,326 --> 00:03:25,326
Why?
63
00:03:25,893 --> 00:03:29,069
It's just I don't know
many heterosexual men who read Heat.
64
00:03:31,467 --> 00:03:33,729
What? He's gay
65
00:03:34,087 --> 00:03:36,161
just because he reads Heat magazine?
66
00:03:37,340 --> 00:03:40,208
Well, he's either gay
or a woman in her early twenties.
67
00:03:42,828 --> 00:03:45,364
Why else would he ask me out on a date?
68
00:03:46,302 --> 00:03:48,232
Are you sure he meant it
as a date "date"?
69
00:03:48,514 --> 00:03:51,229
Are you sure you're not going along
as his gal pal?
70
00:03:52,431 --> 00:03:54,750
If you're talking about
who I think you're talking about,
71
00:03:54,891 --> 00:03:56,752
then the answer is yes, he is gay.
72
00:03:58,181 --> 00:03:59,383
How do you know?
73
00:04:00,036 --> 00:04:01,729
Everyone knows. And once more,
74
00:04:01,871 --> 00:04:03,707
he's been gay, since Wham.
75
00:04:08,524 --> 00:04:09,882
We were talking about Philip!
76
00:04:10,500 --> 00:04:11,785
He borrowed Heat.
77
00:04:12,261 --> 00:04:13,302
He borrowed Heat?
78
00:04:15,279 --> 00:04:17,210
And he knows people in the theatre.
79
00:04:17,352 --> 00:04:21,834
That's not a euphemism. He actually
does know people in the theatre.
80
00:04:22,434 --> 00:04:24,605
Anyway, it's a date. I'm sure it is.
81
00:04:24,880 --> 00:04:26,423
Why else would he ask me out?
82
00:04:27,156 --> 00:04:29,168
Well, don't take this the wrong way,
but...
83
00:04:29,432 --> 00:04:31,109
could he have thought you were a man?
84
00:04:34,705 --> 00:04:37,143
- Let's get a taxi.
- It's a ten minute walk.
85
00:04:37,319 --> 00:04:38,733
No. I don't like walking.
86
00:04:38,874 --> 00:04:41,533
Why do you just not come,
then you wouldn't have to walk anywhere?
87
00:04:41,674 --> 00:04:44,182
I won't spoil your romantic evening
with the gay man.
88
00:04:44,341 --> 00:04:45,488
He's not a gay man!
89
00:04:45,642 --> 00:04:46,930
He reads Heat!
90
00:04:48,024 --> 00:04:49,524
Hey, where are you lot off to?
91
00:04:49,841 --> 00:04:51,315
Look! Richmond's still alive!
92
00:04:52,921 --> 00:04:55,047
We're going to the theatre.
Do you wanna come?
93
00:04:55,965 --> 00:04:57,676
No, thanks. And you shouldn't go either.
94
00:04:57,817 --> 00:04:58,629
Why not?
95
00:04:59,526 --> 00:05:01,044
A new wind is blowing!
96
00:05:02,615 --> 00:05:06,797
Last night, I was stood from my slumber
by a crow calling three times.
97
00:05:12,012 --> 00:05:13,759
Well, you know what a crow sounds like.
98
00:05:13,936 --> 00:05:15,445
Passing to my window,
99
00:05:15,622 --> 00:05:17,157
I trod on a piece of Lego.
100
00:05:17,492 --> 00:05:19,010
Oh, it went right in the heel!
101
00:05:20,469 --> 00:05:21,916
Turning on my television set,
102
00:05:22,057 --> 00:05:23,716
I noticed the reception wasn't great.
103
00:05:23,857 --> 00:05:25,534
Not terrible, just not great.
104
00:05:26,687 --> 00:05:27,692
Hear me well!
105
00:05:27,834 --> 00:05:30,122
No good can come of your trip
to the theatre tonight!
106
00:05:30,334 --> 00:05:31,604
No good at all!
107
00:05:31,803 --> 00:05:32,919
And if you ask me...
108
00:05:37,481 --> 00:05:38,774
That's just bloody rude!
109
00:05:41,456 --> 00:05:42,585
Where is my Heat?
110
00:05:51,504 --> 00:05:52,616
A gay musical,
111
00:05:53,022 --> 00:05:54,292
called "Gay".
112
00:05:55,439 --> 00:05:57,028
That's quite gay...
113
00:05:59,168 --> 00:06:01,303
Gay musical? Aren't all musicals gay?
114
00:06:02,124 --> 00:06:04,453
This must be like the gayest musical
ever made!
115
00:06:05,571 --> 00:06:07,126
It's got some pretty good reviews!
116
00:06:13,745 --> 00:06:16,399
"The story of a young man
trying to find his sexuality
117
00:06:16,586 --> 00:06:18,378
"in the uncaring Thatcher years.
118
00:06:18,792 --> 00:06:22,414
"Warning. Includes scenes
of graphic homo eroticism."
119
00:06:24,867 --> 00:06:26,509
It's set in the 80's!
120
00:06:27,753 --> 00:06:29,461
Graphic homo eroticism?
121
00:06:29,804 --> 00:06:31,121
Are they gonna get them out?
122
00:06:31,262 --> 00:06:33,029
You're not comfortable
with your sexuality?
123
00:06:33,170 --> 00:06:34,668
I'm comfortable with my sexuality.
124
00:06:34,810 --> 00:06:37,511
I don't wanna be slapped in the face
with their sexuality.
125
00:06:38,008 --> 00:06:39,543
Look! There is Philip!
126
00:06:39,950 --> 00:06:41,829
Look! He's leching at that lady!
127
00:06:42,093 --> 00:06:43,187
Thank God for that!
128
00:06:43,434 --> 00:06:45,446
He's just an ordinary ignored man!
129
00:06:48,579 --> 00:06:50,027
Hey! You're already here!
130
00:06:51,262 --> 00:06:53,185
What are we doing, Roy? This isn't us.
131
00:06:53,388 --> 00:06:55,550
It takes place in the past!
132
00:06:55,727 --> 00:06:56,821
Forget the play.
133
00:06:56,988 --> 00:06:58,558
Philip knows the cast!
134
00:06:58,735 --> 00:07:00,697
It's all about the backstage party
afterwards.
135
00:07:00,838 --> 00:07:02,020
Those things are great.
136
00:07:02,170 --> 00:07:03,936
You go to them telling
they were brilliant
137
00:07:04,095 --> 00:07:05,463
and it's free wine all night.
138
00:07:05,586 --> 00:07:07,404
Besides, I really wanna meet
Laura Nightly.
139
00:07:08,084 --> 00:07:09,690
Hey there, guys!
140
00:07:11,472 --> 00:07:13,043
It's great, isn't it?
141
00:07:13,537 --> 00:07:15,389
Great. We should really pick up
our tickets.
142
00:07:21,553 --> 00:07:23,724
I know someone who gets the tickle!
143
00:07:25,047 --> 00:07:26,583
Sorry, I love doing that to him!
144
00:07:28,713 --> 00:07:30,813
This is Jerome.
He does publicity for the show.
145
00:07:30,972 --> 00:07:32,137
He got us our tickets.
146
00:07:32,278 --> 00:07:33,284
Great, thanks.
147
00:07:33,443 --> 00:07:35,331
This is Jen, and Moss and Roy.
148
00:07:36,584 --> 00:07:37,607
How is it going?
149
00:07:37,749 --> 00:07:39,125
My God, you're Irish!
150
00:07:39,354 --> 00:07:40,430
I love Irish people!
151
00:07:40,572 --> 00:07:42,909
They're just mad, aren't they?
They're just mad!
152
00:07:43,889 --> 00:07:45,089
We're all insane, yeah.
153
00:07:45,283 --> 00:07:46,959
You'll love this!
154
00:07:47,101 --> 00:07:48,618
It's great crack!
155
00:07:50,965 --> 00:07:52,360
I'm mad for crack!
156
00:07:53,613 --> 00:07:55,748
Quick everyone!
The show's about to start!
157
00:08:06,053 --> 00:08:08,899
I hope Laura Nightly isn't gonna be
dressed up like toyer or something.
158
00:08:09,041 --> 00:08:11,802
- Who is she in The Build again?
- She plays that heroin addict
159
00:08:11,944 --> 00:08:14,598
- who gets stabbed in the face?
- She is lovely.
160
00:08:14,863 --> 00:08:15,939
Isn't she lovely?
161
00:08:16,857 --> 00:08:17,951
Oh God, here we go.
162
00:08:18,264 --> 00:08:19,681
It might be right.
163
00:08:21,498 --> 00:08:22,792
How bad can it be?
164
00:08:29,928 --> 00:08:31,111
Welcome...
165
00:08:31,976 --> 00:08:34,659
to the United...
166
00:08:35,618 --> 00:08:36,913
Queendom!
167
00:08:40,127 --> 00:08:41,190
Brilliant!
168
00:08:41,831 --> 00:08:43,472
United Queendom!
169
00:08:43,684 --> 00:08:45,713
He can't say that, can he?
170
00:09:03,842 --> 00:09:05,395
Check that asses!
171
00:09:08,308 --> 00:09:10,019
I'm a friend of Dorothy!
172
00:09:10,213 --> 00:09:11,714
I'm a friend of Dorothy!
173
00:09:11,986 --> 00:09:14,422
She is my friend!
174
00:09:14,818 --> 00:09:17,557
This is insanely brilliant!
175
00:09:22,709 --> 00:09:24,553
Hold my hand.
176
00:09:26,785 --> 00:09:27,786
No,
177
00:09:28,568 --> 00:09:30,950
that's not my hand!
178
00:09:37,040 --> 00:09:39,437
I love willies!
179
00:09:40,222 --> 00:09:41,863
Okay, I'm completely satisfied!
180
00:09:42,463 --> 00:09:43,928
Don't leave! It's rude!
181
00:09:44,087 --> 00:09:46,575
It's too gay for me. I thought
I could handle it, but I can't.
182
00:09:46,716 --> 00:09:48,118
There'll be the interval soon.
183
00:09:48,260 --> 00:09:49,603
I'm captivated, Roy.
184
00:09:49,972 --> 00:09:52,407
Calm down.
At least, it can't get any worse.
185
00:09:54,456 --> 00:09:56,520
All right, get them houselights up
186
00:09:56,661 --> 00:09:59,203
and let's have a look at you!
187
00:09:59,574 --> 00:10:01,604
Are you wearing that shirt for a bet?
188
00:10:02,035 --> 00:10:03,827
Audience participation! Go, go!
189
00:10:05,159 --> 00:10:06,711
What have we...
190
00:10:07,205 --> 00:10:08,847
- here!
- Hello!
191
00:10:10,365 --> 00:10:13,612
Tell me! Who wears the trousers
in this relationship?
192
00:10:14,513 --> 00:10:16,488
What? Oh, no.
193
00:10:16,629 --> 00:10:18,173
We're not homosexuals.
194
00:10:18,367 --> 00:10:19,823
We're just very good friends.
195
00:10:19,981 --> 00:10:21,287
So, you never had a look?
196
00:10:21,463 --> 00:10:24,084
- At what?
- His bob!
197
00:10:24,605 --> 00:10:25,840
I've seen it,
198
00:10:26,307 --> 00:10:28,883
when he thrusts it in front of my desk,
199
00:10:29,448 --> 00:10:31,698
or, should he bend over
to pick something up.
200
00:10:31,966 --> 00:10:34,631
I'd love to work in that office...
201
00:10:34,851 --> 00:10:37,303
There's nothing sexual going on.
202
00:10:37,445 --> 00:10:40,374
I do like Roy, but I'm not "curious".
203
00:10:43,709 --> 00:10:45,104
What were you engaging him for?
204
00:10:45,686 --> 00:10:47,935
He was asking me questions,
I couldn't just ignore him.
205
00:10:48,090 --> 00:10:49,277
It's a bit rude, Roy.
206
00:10:49,639 --> 00:10:50,980
So what do you think of it?
207
00:10:51,156 --> 00:10:52,674
I think it's fabulous.
208
00:10:52,850 --> 00:10:54,950
Every value I've ever held
is being questioned,
209
00:10:55,091 --> 00:10:56,415
and I'm loving it.
210
00:10:57,658 --> 00:10:59,123
You don't like it, do you?
211
00:10:59,370 --> 00:11:00,711
The songs are good.
212
00:11:01,276 --> 00:11:02,599
No, they're not!
213
00:11:02,952 --> 00:11:04,205
Hum one of the songs.
214
00:11:05,734 --> 00:11:08,236
Willies, willies! I like willies!
215
00:11:08,378 --> 00:11:09,578
It's "I love willies".
216
00:11:09,862 --> 00:11:12,093
- I love willies!
- Sir, could you keep it down?
217
00:11:14,846 --> 00:11:16,840
- I'm not going back in there!
- Oh yes, you are!
218
00:11:16,999 --> 00:11:18,411
No. I'll wait out here for you,
219
00:11:18,587 --> 00:11:21,426
but there's no way
I'm going anywhere near that thing.
220
00:11:21,568 --> 00:11:24,585
You can't leave me alone in there.
I don't know what the hell is going on!
221
00:11:24,726 --> 00:11:27,677
He's laughing like an idiot
at every single gay reference!
222
00:11:27,997 --> 00:11:30,944
- Why didn't he come off for a drink?
- He doesn't wanna miss anything!
223
00:11:33,044 --> 00:11:34,332
I need to wee wee.
224
00:11:34,906 --> 00:11:36,088
Yeah, me too.
225
00:11:40,172 --> 00:11:42,078
- What's wrong?
- They've got a toilet guy.
226
00:11:43,066 --> 00:11:44,478
I hate toilet guys!
227
00:11:45,700 --> 00:11:47,005
Let's just get over with.
228
00:12:20,666 --> 00:12:21,672
Thank you.
229
00:12:25,219 --> 00:12:26,260
Cheers, dude.
230
00:12:29,401 --> 00:12:31,120
- Did you go?
- No. Did you?
231
00:12:31,407 --> 00:12:32,695
No! How could I?
232
00:12:33,136 --> 00:12:34,707
Block stood looking at us!
233
00:12:34,848 --> 00:12:37,265
What was that?
It's not my fault he works in a toilet!
234
00:12:37,407 --> 00:12:39,083
- How much did you give him?
- A pound.
235
00:12:39,330 --> 00:12:41,783
I just paid a pound
not to go to the toilet.
236
00:12:42,497 --> 00:12:43,854
He's a terrible toilet guy!
237
00:12:43,996 --> 00:12:46,523
He should work where people
don't want to go to the toilet.
238
00:12:46,665 --> 00:12:47,812
I'll use the disabled.
239
00:12:47,953 --> 00:12:49,935
- You can't use the disabled!
- What? Why not?
240
00:12:50,164 --> 00:12:52,034
You're not disabled!
You'll get in trouble!
241
00:12:52,846 --> 00:12:55,175
It's not like a parking space, Moss.
242
00:12:55,669 --> 00:12:57,751
I think. I think it's okay, isn't it?
243
00:12:57,892 --> 00:12:59,816
It's okay.
I'm always using the disabled.
244
00:13:00,434 --> 00:13:01,534
It's illegal!
245
00:13:03,278 --> 00:13:04,316
I don't think so.
246
00:13:36,262 --> 00:13:37,427
You all right in there?
247
00:13:39,217 --> 00:13:40,470
Do you need help?
248
00:13:41,670 --> 00:13:42,670
I'm disabled!
249
00:13:42,828 --> 00:13:44,406
He sounds disoriented.
250
00:13:44,935 --> 00:13:45,800
Move back
251
00:13:45,949 --> 00:13:47,353
- from the door!
- What? No!
252
00:13:51,782 --> 00:13:54,023
- What are you doing?
- Don't panic!
253
00:13:59,907 --> 00:14:01,742
What... What's happening?
254
00:14:02,024 --> 00:14:03,595
Someone's had an accident.
255
00:14:04,442 --> 00:14:06,286
Well, you'd better keep going then.
256
00:14:11,747 --> 00:14:12,911
My God, what happened?
257
00:14:13,335 --> 00:14:14,870
I fell off the toilet.
258
00:14:16,502 --> 00:14:19,008
Well, come on. Let's get you upright.
259
00:14:19,818 --> 00:14:20,824
Thank you.
260
00:14:23,692 --> 00:14:25,174
So, what happened?
261
00:14:26,639 --> 00:14:28,474
- I'm disabled.
- How?
262
00:14:29,946 --> 00:14:30,758
How what?
263
00:14:31,305 --> 00:14:32,611
How are you disabled?
264
00:14:34,287 --> 00:14:35,329
Leg disabled.
265
00:14:35,567 --> 00:14:38,567
Wait, where's your...
Do you have a wheelchair?
266
00:14:41,127 --> 00:14:42,133
Where?
267
00:14:44,391 --> 00:14:45,397
Stolen!
268
00:14:46,950 --> 00:14:48,344
But how did they get in?
269
00:14:50,091 --> 00:14:51,221
I don't know!
270
00:14:51,874 --> 00:14:53,515
All right. It's gonna be okay.
271
00:14:54,017 --> 00:14:55,521
Let's get you out of here. Come on.
272
00:14:55,663 --> 00:14:57,833
Come on. Give me a hand.
There you go.
273
00:14:58,028 --> 00:14:59,925
There you go, there you go, mate.
274
00:15:00,075 --> 00:15:01,817
All right, you're all right.
275
00:15:15,606 --> 00:15:17,493
- Easy, mate.
- Hold him tight that way.
276
00:15:20,418 --> 00:15:21,545
Easy.
277
00:15:23,549 --> 00:15:25,821
All right. Bring him carefully!
278
00:15:29,001 --> 00:15:30,978
Excuse me! This is a staff toilet!
279
00:15:34,026 --> 00:15:35,248
I'm staff!
280
00:15:38,232 --> 00:15:39,656
I really am feeling much better.
281
00:15:40,627 --> 00:15:41,998
You can all go, now.
282
00:15:42,891 --> 00:15:46,177
We're not going anywhere
until we've got you sorted out.
283
00:15:48,455 --> 00:15:50,396
Here's Paul with the wheelchair.
284
00:15:50,538 --> 00:15:52,254
All right. What?
285
00:15:53,033 --> 00:15:56,019
I keep one in the office
for emergencies. Let's get you up!
286
00:15:56,218 --> 00:15:58,791
Nice and carefully now.
That's it, there we go.
287
00:16:00,443 --> 00:16:02,068
There we are, there.
288
00:16:04,921 --> 00:16:05,962
Oh, the police!
289
00:16:06,580 --> 00:16:07,798
Is everything all right?
290
00:16:07,957 --> 00:16:09,074
I'm disabled!
291
00:16:11,741 --> 00:16:14,438
- So, someone stole you...
- My wheelchair.
292
00:16:15,649 --> 00:16:16,832
I'm disabled.
293
00:16:17,792 --> 00:16:20,190
Some lazy bastard just waltzed in there.
294
00:16:20,332 --> 00:16:21,444
Can you describe him?
295
00:16:21,586 --> 00:16:24,201
- It was all over so quick!
- Just tell me just what you can.
296
00:16:25,490 --> 00:16:27,078
Caucasian male...
297
00:16:28,331 --> 00:16:30,239
Bearded.
298
00:16:31,758 --> 00:16:33,354
Red hair...
299
00:16:34,293 --> 00:16:35,523
Glasses.
300
00:16:36,680 --> 00:16:38,051
Possibly disguised, I...
301
00:16:38,445 --> 00:16:39,600
All right, thank you.
302
00:16:40,173 --> 00:16:41,694
Do you need any help getting home?
303
00:16:41,840 --> 00:16:44,173
No, I'm fine, I'm with people.
304
00:16:44,652 --> 00:16:46,037
Here they are, now!
305
00:16:47,232 --> 00:16:48,326
Hey, fellas!
306
00:16:50,567 --> 00:16:53,223
- No, I'll take it from here.
- Nonsense. It's the least I can do.
307
00:16:53,408 --> 00:16:54,397
Okay...
308
00:16:59,070 --> 00:17:00,482
Are you slacking off in there?
309
00:17:01,588 --> 00:17:02,940
Go and get changed!
310
00:17:06,546 --> 00:17:08,482
Excuse me, sir. Can I have a word?
311
00:17:08,867 --> 00:17:11,154
Amazing! Super powerful!
312
00:17:11,404 --> 00:17:12,481
Thanks.
313
00:17:12,698 --> 00:17:13,947
That...
314
00:17:14,205 --> 00:17:15,895
The grit of it!
315
00:17:17,143 --> 00:17:18,327
Five stars!
316
00:17:19,577 --> 00:17:20,892
So what did you think?
317
00:17:21,230 --> 00:17:23,850
- Of the musical?
- Did you not just love it?
318
00:17:24,019 --> 00:17:25,068
Well, no,
319
00:17:25,671 --> 00:17:27,005
- sorry.
- Why not?
320
00:17:27,199 --> 00:17:28,382
I don't know, just...
321
00:17:28,605 --> 00:17:30,670
Maybe, you have to be...
322
00:17:31,552 --> 00:17:32,331
gay.
323
00:17:33,104 --> 00:17:34,404
I loved it!
324
00:17:35,163 --> 00:17:37,687
I guess it's more of a gay thing.
325
00:17:39,280 --> 00:17:40,868
You know, you have to be gay.
326
00:17:41,874 --> 00:17:42,941
A gay man.
327
00:17:44,018 --> 00:17:45,131
A homosexual.
328
00:17:45,286 --> 00:17:48,344
But all I know is I loved
every last second of it.
329
00:17:48,563 --> 00:17:49,689
And I'm not...
330
00:17:50,358 --> 00:17:51,849
usually a fan of musicals.
331
00:17:52,249 --> 00:17:53,696
Do you want to meet the cast?
332
00:17:54,173 --> 00:17:55,037
Come on!
333
00:17:55,231 --> 00:17:57,794
The thing is I have to meet
Moss and Roy.
334
00:18:20,658 --> 00:18:23,534
Listen, I told the cast
about what happened,
335
00:18:23,711 --> 00:18:26,075
and they told me to get you all
to come back and meet them!
336
00:18:28,899 --> 00:18:30,575
Come on everybody! Off the van!
337
00:18:37,981 --> 00:18:40,067
Hey, James!
338
00:18:40,314 --> 00:18:41,906
Wow, Edgar!
339
00:18:42,235 --> 00:18:42,946
Hi!
340
00:18:45,114 --> 00:18:46,114
Brilliant!
341
00:18:47,047 --> 00:18:47,814
Jeremy!
342
00:18:48,840 --> 00:18:51,178
How do you know all these... young...
343
00:18:51,865 --> 00:18:52,888
good looking men?
344
00:18:53,065 --> 00:18:54,617
You know, just from my route.
345
00:18:54,842 --> 00:18:56,222
Hey, Jerome!
346
00:18:56,541 --> 00:18:57,542
Come here, you!
347
00:18:57,963 --> 00:18:59,067
Great show.
348
00:18:59,419 --> 00:19:00,903
Hello, darling!
349
00:19:01,112 --> 00:19:02,630
Listen, I can't talk at the moment.
350
00:19:02,806 --> 00:19:05,045
The disabled are coming for a chat.
Here they are now.
351
00:19:22,789 --> 00:19:24,192
He's had quite an evening.
352
00:19:24,404 --> 00:19:25,745
Someone stole his wheelchair.
353
00:19:27,927 --> 00:19:28,783
Really?
354
00:19:30,993 --> 00:19:32,221
Did you see who it was?
355
00:19:33,627 --> 00:19:34,633
Red bearded man.
356
00:19:37,023 --> 00:19:38,888
How long have you been disabled?
357
00:19:40,909 --> 00:19:42,947
- Ten years.
- Ten years!
358
00:19:43,469 --> 00:19:46,099
And how did it happen,
if that's not a rude question?
359
00:19:49,842 --> 00:19:50,649
Acid.
360
00:19:53,241 --> 00:19:55,335
What are the chances
of that happening?
361
00:19:56,311 --> 00:19:57,636
A hundred to one.
362
00:19:59,144 --> 00:20:01,535
- You're like you could do with a drink.
- Whisky.
363
00:20:01,870 --> 00:20:03,356
Please. Double.
364
00:20:03,957 --> 00:20:05,377
- Excuse me?
- Yes, miss?
365
00:20:15,339 --> 00:20:18,641
Can I have a double whisky, please?
366
00:20:18,923 --> 00:20:19,947
Double whisky.
367
00:20:20,194 --> 00:20:21,508
And a glass of white wine.
368
00:20:21,666 --> 00:20:22,813
A glass of white wine.
369
00:20:24,518 --> 00:20:25,833
You're very welcome, madam.
370
00:20:38,830 --> 00:20:41,299
- Hello, Laura Nightly.
- How are you?
371
00:20:42,126 --> 00:20:43,187
I'm disabled!
372
00:20:43,593 --> 00:20:46,297
It must be so difficult
being gay and disabled.
373
00:20:47,771 --> 00:20:48,954
Very difficult.
374
00:20:53,315 --> 00:20:55,027
Come here, my little soldier.
375
00:20:56,872 --> 00:20:58,787
- What's the matter?
- I don't know.
376
00:21:00,910 --> 00:21:03,072
- You're from telly!
- I am.
377
00:21:03,766 --> 00:21:07,524
And you know, a little birdy told me
that you couldn't make the show tonight.
378
00:21:07,757 --> 00:21:09,910
So, I've got you two tickets
for tomorrow.
379
00:21:13,037 --> 00:21:14,040
Brilliant!
380
00:21:14,850 --> 00:21:16,445
- You're doing so well!
- Yeah.
381
00:21:16,587 --> 00:21:18,306
- High five!
- High five!
382
00:21:20,467 --> 00:21:21,760
A couple of photos?
383
00:21:24,057 --> 00:21:25,627
Is he from a newspaper?
384
00:21:25,817 --> 00:21:28,296
- Yes, he's from The Standard.
- Oh, God!
385
00:21:30,444 --> 00:21:31,591
What... What's...
386
00:21:32,248 --> 00:21:33,573
I get it!
387
00:21:34,173 --> 00:21:36,259
Very funny, you Irish!
388
00:21:36,849 --> 00:21:39,573
I'm a bit tired!
Can I have a wheelchair too?
389
00:21:40,706 --> 00:21:41,712
Hilarious!
390
00:21:42,746 --> 00:21:44,427
Me legs don't work!
391
00:21:44,762 --> 00:21:46,597
Help, pal! I need a wheelchair!
392
00:21:46,756 --> 00:21:48,824
Come on, get out! Come on!
393
00:21:49,027 --> 00:21:51,199
Stop buzzing around, all right, Gary?
394
00:21:59,671 --> 00:22:01,878
Well, I guess this is good night.
395
00:22:16,811 --> 00:22:19,179
For God sake, are you gay?
Are you a gay man?
396
00:22:19,724 --> 00:22:20,759
- Are you?
- No!
397
00:22:20,901 --> 00:22:22,354
So brilliant, dude! That's...
398
00:22:22,531 --> 00:22:24,542
'Cause that's all I wanted to know.
I don't mind,
399
00:22:24,701 --> 00:22:26,730
one way or another, you know.
it's just I like...
400
00:22:26,889 --> 00:22:28,548
being clear. I don't want any...
401
00:22:29,260 --> 00:22:30,296
ambiguity.
402
00:22:30,455 --> 00:22:32,434
What on earth made you think I was gay?
403
00:22:33,363 --> 00:22:35,636
Well, you know... I didn't just...
404
00:22:35,946 --> 00:22:37,288
pull it out of the air.
405
00:22:37,542 --> 00:22:40,809
You know, you just brought me
to a gay musical called "Gay",
406
00:22:41,321 --> 00:22:43,106
You've been laughing like mad
at every...
407
00:22:43,281 --> 00:22:45,253
at every gay reference. Your friends,
408
00:22:45,938 --> 00:22:47,704
more of whom are gay,
409
00:22:48,004 --> 00:22:49,875
say hello by tickling you!
410
00:22:51,189 --> 00:22:53,502
In what century are you living in?
Do you think
411
00:22:53,661 --> 00:22:56,325
that a man has to be gay
to like a gay musical?
412
00:22:56,517 --> 00:22:59,153
Can a straight man
not have homosexual friends?
413
00:22:59,859 --> 00:23:02,276
And since when was tickling gay?
414
00:23:02,432 --> 00:23:04,200
I missed that meaning, Jen!
415
00:23:05,843 --> 00:23:07,899
- Come here.
- I'm sorry, I guess
416
00:23:08,041 --> 00:23:10,043
you astray me when you borrowed
that copy of Heat.
417
00:23:10,185 --> 00:23:11,840
Oh God, it's true,
418
00:23:12,018 --> 00:23:13,433
it's true, I'm gay!
419
00:23:13,575 --> 00:23:16,445
I'm a gay man!
I tried to run from it tonight
420
00:23:16,587 --> 00:23:18,666
but I can't, I can't!
421
00:23:18,843 --> 00:23:21,595
Jen, what am I gonna do?
422
00:23:23,130 --> 00:23:25,708
I thought
I could make it work between us,
423
00:23:25,911 --> 00:23:28,322
because you looked a bit like a man!
424
00:23:38,323 --> 00:23:39,431
Taxi!
425
00:24:00,658 --> 00:24:01,914
Hello, there.
426
00:24:03,474 --> 00:24:05,211
I didn't see you on the way out.
427
00:24:06,482 --> 00:24:08,939
All right, lads!
Let's get a sing song coming!
428
00:24:09,211 --> 00:24:11,051
It's a long way back to Manchester!
429
00:24:21,464 --> 00:24:23,318
- 'Night, Steve.
- 'Night, Moss.
430
00:24:23,460 --> 00:24:25,970
- 'Night Melly, you be good!
- Mind if I can't help it.
431
00:24:32,773 --> 00:24:33,937
Ah, the theatre....
0
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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