All language subtitles for Slaves.Of.New.York.1989.1080p.WEBRip.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX]

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You happy?
You're happy.

Come on.

Ow!

You wanna go that way?
Sure, we can go that way.

[GROANING]

Okay, little bit
of pot roast.

Home.

Come on.

Great.
Thanks.

We made it.

Ah. Don't you let me
drop these.

Don't you let me drop these.

Home!

Home.

Gonna see Stash.

Oh, you're
all excited.

Gonna see Stash now.

Let's find Stash.

Okay, you ready?

Go.

[DOG BARKS]

Yeah.

What's all that
white stuff?

What the hell
is it?

What's this?

The okay symbol?

This is a flea.
That's what it is.

It's a goddamn flea.

Stash, can I come in?

No! Don't come in.

Eleanor, look at my leg.

[SIGHS]

Do you see
these red dots?

I see a tiny
red dot.

Why are you being
so difficult?

This is not a tiny red dot.
These are six red dots.

These are fleabites.

The house is infested
with fleas.

I came home
this afternoon,

and I found
a flea on my arm.

I told you not to take
the dog to the pier.

If you're gonna take
the dog out, I told you,

don't bring him to where
there's garbage
and rats and fleas.

Stash, I didn't--
Eleanor.

Don't try and argue
with me.

You're a lousy liar.

Now I'm gonna bring you
the laundry bag.

And don't
come in until

you've taken
your clothes off.

They're invested.
What?

You want me to take
my clothes off in the hall?

What if Mr. Lewinsky
comes home? I ca--

[TURNS ON TV]

ANNOUNCER:
--continues to squirt away
from Coleman.

Vince really didn't appear
to think that--

What about all this
white stuff?

We can't live
in this.

We'll die.

I have to kill
the fleas, don't I?

It's flea
powder.

Well, let's go out
or something.
We can't stay here.

There's this girl I met,
I told you,

she's giving a housewarming
party tonight.

I wanna watch the game.

Yeah, but...

remember how I said that
I was going to be different...

and make some new friends,

and be an outgoing
type of person?

Well, this girl,
she might be
a friend for me.

I said, I'm watching the game.

[CROWD CHEERING ON TV]

Kill him, Lenny!

[BUZZER RINGS]

Mona, hi.
Hello.

I'm Eleanor.

We met
at an opening.

This is your new house.
It looks terrific.

Excuse me,
where did we meet?

It was a group show
at Victor Okrent's gallery,

and my boyfriend
had paintings in it.

Oh, yeah. You go out
with Stash Stotz.

Yeah.
Oh, okay.

Come on in.

[CROWD TALKING, LAUGHING]

I mean, we haven't even
had time to unpack
all the boxes yet,

but Max and I thought,
you know,

we said we were gonna
have a housewarming party

and we invited a lot
of people, so probably
we should do it.

[BUZZER RINGS]

Um, there's food
in there.

[AMBITIOUS LOVERS'
"ADMIT IT" PLAYING ON STEREO]

Admit it
You know you're beautiful

Hi.
Hi.

Hi.
Come on in.

Admit it

You know you're beautiful

Oh, the damage you do

You've got no reception

Excuse me. Is anyone
sitting here?

I'm Mona's
mother.

This is Mona's
stepfather Harry.

Oh. Well, it looks like
it's gonna be great.

Mona seemed
to think

this place
was a real find.

It is.

It is.

It was our wedding
present to them.

Them?

Are you an old friend
of Mona's?

No.
No, actually.

Um...

D-do you know where
the bathroom is?

Ask Max.

I think he has to
show you how to use it.

Are you Max?

No, that's him.

Max.
Yeah.

Could you show me
the bathroom?

It's not fixed up yet.

I mean, I put the toilet in
this afternoon,

but there's
no door.
Oh.

I'll tell you
what, though.

Uh, why don't you
just come up.

I'll put the door up

and, uh,
you can call me

when you want
to come out, okay?

God, you guys
were lucky
to find this place.

Uh... Whoa.
Uh, yeah.

Well, you know, it's
got a huge mortgage.

But Mona's parents
are helping us out, thank God.

You--? You go with
Stash Stotz, don't you?

Yeah.

God, a whole
house.

I never knew anybody
with a whole house.

Do you know if, uh,
Victor is looking at,

like, new work
at the moment?

I don't know.

Well, could you
ask him?

Yeah. Sure.

You're an artist?

Yeah, well,
I'm working on

some sculptures
at the moment.

It'd be incredibly cool if
I could work at it full time,

but, you know,
I've got to make money,

so I'm renovating a loft
for some people downtown.

It's great.

I mean,
it's big.

Big bathroom.

If you could ask Stash
about Victor,

that would be
really great.

Could I help you?

Do you want a drink
or something?

Uh, yeah.
Do you have a beer?

[LAUGHS
UNCOMFORTABLY]

[GROANS]

[KICKS BOTTOM OF DOOR]

Should I just call
when I want to come out?

[MUSIC CONTINUES
FROM DOWNSTAIRS]

You know you're beautiful

Admit it

You know you're beautiful

[INNER CITY'S "GOOD LIFE"
PLAYING]

Do you want the good life
Or not?

Max.

Ma-- Max.

[SIGHS]

Good life

[KNOCKS]

Hello, someone.

...ecstasy with
this guy and...
ELEANOR: Hello.

Total stalker,
right?

[KNOCKING]

Hello.

I could have
a crush on anyone,

but Max just never
gets jealous.
Anybody!

Yeah, because you've
got the power.

Hello.

[CLATTERING, POUNDING]

Hello, hello, hello!

[POUNDING]

Help!

Help me.
I'm stuck in here.

Help!

[GRUNTS]

Oh.

God,
I'm sorry.

I didn't--
Listen, it wasn't
my fault.

The door
wasn't attached.

And I didn't know what to do.
And I was banging on it, and--

Are you all right?
Are you damaged?

Are you sure
you're not bleeding?

I'm-- I'm fine.
It's okay.

I hurt you.
Are you all right?
Do you want an aspirin?

No, I'm fine.

I'm very sorry.
Look, I...

I'm okay.
Don't worry.

I'm so ashamed.

[CHUCKLES]

[STAMMERS]

I'll be okay.

I'll, uh, put the door back.

I'll just, uh, get...

[MUMBLES]

We got to stay
in the deluxe suite,

which had a fully stocked
liquor bar.

We gave cocktail parties
for the whole group

every night
for two weeks.

Where were you?

There was liquor of every
possible kind imaginable.

And we'd just
finish it off,

and the next day,
they'd replace everything.

Oh. It sounds
fascinating.

It was
fascinating.

Do you mind
if I sit here?

It was the most
fascinating trip
I've been on.

No.

It was
a package deal.

You paid for it once,
and everything-- Oh!

Oh, are you--?
I'm sorry, I didn't know.

It's not my house.
This is not my chair.

The chair was broken.
I'm very sorry.

You, like, can't really
sit on that chair.

Don't sit
on that chair.

I should have
put a sign on it
or something.

Try this.
Try this.

Thanks.

Oh, have you
had any chicken?

I was just about to,
and the chair--

What'd you think?
Well, it--

You know, Max and I made
these dipping sauces.

And I was gonna
make the chicken,
but then...

I thought, "Fuck it,"
and I sent him to
Kentucky Fried Chicken.

I mean, I figured
no one's gonna know
the difference.

What do I have to go
to all the trouble for?

So I told Max,
"Take it out of the box

"and put it
in a napkin
in a basket,

and they'll
think we got it
at Balducci's."

Right?

It's great.
I'm gonna have some.

I think this one
is okay.

...friends
and relatives,

and that
was kind of fun.

And then
we traveled around.

But I think the thing
that really makes
a trip is the people.

I'm Mikell Silker.

Are you an actor?

[LAUGHS]

Actually, I'm a writer.

Where are you from?

South Africa.
Johannesburg.

You know,
this is really stupid,

but...I know somebody
from Johannesburg.
Oh.

Yeah. His name
is Jimmy Guinn.

I know Jimmy Guinn.

Oh, yeah.

Seriously. I went to
school with him.

You know Jimmy Guinn?

A very tall, skinny guy.

Yeah, yeah.
That's Jimmy.

Where do you know
Guinny from?

I met him in a bar
in New Haven.

This is crazy.

What kind of writer are you?

Fiction. Stories and stuff,
you know?

What are you doing?

She knows
Jimmy Guinn.

ELEANOR:
Yeah, I know
Jimmy Guinn.

He's from--
He's tall.

You know, my friend
from South Africa.

I-I told you
about him.

No, you didn't.

Yes, I did.

No, you didn't.

Hi.
I'm Eleanor.

Great.

Look, um, I'm gonna
go try to find Mona

and say goodbye,
okay?

Yeah.

It was nice
to meet you.

What's her name?

That's B.

Listen, can I
give you a call?

We could have coffee
or something.

MRS. WHEELER:
Did you say you were

a friend
of Mona's or Max's?

I really don't know
either of them.

WOMAN:
Mrs. Wheeler, are you
going to China...?

So did you
come here
all by yourself?

I don't know anybody.

[LAUGHS]

[WAS (NOT WAS)'S "DAD,
I'M IN JAIL" PLAYING]

Hello, Dad
I'm in jail

Hi, Dad

I'm calling you
From jail

Hi, Dad
Happy birthday

I'm in jail

Jail, jail

Hi, Dad

All those years
I'm in jail now

I'm in jail
I'm in jail

I'm in jail
I like it here

It's nice
I like it

Hello, Dad
I'm in jail

Hello
Hello, Dad

Hi, I'm in jail

Say hi to Mom
From jail

[SONG FADES OUT]

[CAMPER VAN BEETHOVEN'S
"CHANGE YOUR MIND" PLAYING]

Walk

Definitely.
Definitely.

Oh, walk away

Hey, excuse me.
Do you work here?

Yes. Do you know how
to spell "definitely"?
Yeah, sure.

Look, what I need is an
advance copy of the paper.

I need the classifieds
section before
anybody else.

I gotta find an apartment,
a loft.

Well, the paper doesn't
come out till tomorrow.

But you can get it
for me sooner,
couldn't you?

You work here,
right?
Yeah.

Uh, I think
if you--

What if I give you
half a sandwich or something?

Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.

There's something
in my shoe.

You know anything
about athlete's foot?

Have you ever
had it?

No.

Ha!

I had a rock
in my shoe.

I don't think having
a rock in your shoe

is like having
athlete's foot, do you?

Do you know what
athlete's foot
looks like?

Maybe you ought to take a look
at my foot anyway,
to make sure.

No, I don't want to
look at it.

You could write
about it.

I-I'm not
a writer.

No?

[SCOFFS]

Jesus.

Could you take
your foot off...?

How did we ever get on this
subject in the first place?

Hey, are you
a reporter?

Because I have a story
that would definitely
interest you. See...

I'm trying to raise
money to build my chapel--

The Chapel of Jesus Christ
as a Woman--

adjacent to
the Vatican,

complete with her own
Stations of the Cross.

Are you a priest?

She'll be washing
the dishes,

changing the diapers,
fixing a picnic for lunch,
et cetera.

I'm going to Rome
to build it.

It's just a question
of funding.

Excuse me
for a second.

You know,
I-I've seen you before.

Would you model
for me?

I want you to be
La Christa.

I already have a cross
and everything.

I'm not a model,
and, uh...

I'm not a reporter.

Um...

You don't know how to spell
"definitely," do you?

WOMAN:
Ooh.

[LAUGHS]

Ooh.

This one
is gorgeous.

What do you
call it?

Ode to Hero
of the Future
Number 5.

You see, in times
of antiquity,

there were
real heroes

known for their
great achievements.

But in today's
world,

all we have
are celebrities,

people known for
their well-known-ness.

You see,
a century ago,

men were more heroic
than people of today.

And some guys
in antiquity
were even more heroic.

While in the times
of prehistory,

there were real gods,
like me.

This one.

This one...

This one...

This one is the weakest
of the three.

Actually...

it's no good
at all.

What are you
talking about?

You're wrong.

Uh!

Goddamn it, Marley,
I just bought
those chairs.

Sorry.

The chair just broke
by itself.

You should
return it.

On Wednesday...

you're meeting
Chuck Dade Dolger

for breakfast.

He's picking
you up.

Don't forget...
he likes a big eater.

Maybe he'll buy
a painting.

Buy a painting?

You said he was gonna
give me a grant

to build my chapel
in Rome.

I didn't
say that.

I never said that,
Marley.

He's an important
collector.

It's enough if he buys
a painting.

Please, I beg of you,

don't bring up
the chapel.

There's just
one thing
I wanna say.

What's that?

I have a great idea
for when I get rich.

I'm gonna hire John Lennon,
Shakespeare, Puccini

and Jimi Hendrix
to write an opera.

Isn't that
a great idea?

They're dead,
Marley.

Don't forget
breakfast.

Excuse me, but I'm
a little nervous.

Um, I just want to
get one thing clear.

This isn't a date,
right?

A date?

Yeah, because I live
with someone and I--

Me too.
I live with B.

Oh.

So how's it going?

What?

Living with
someone.

Fine.

Just wish...

What?

Well...

nothing.

Stash is a genius,

and so, of course,
he's a little eccentric.

And...I'm the type of person
who mates for life.

You know, like a goose.

[CHUCKLES]

So do you like cooking?

Yeah, I'm a good cook.
Yeah.

Um...stuffed cabbage.

But Stash
doesn't approve.

I mean, he gets mad
because he says he'd rather

just get a piece of pizza
on the way home.

He's very busy.

But I think if you're
going to live together...

then you should
eat together.

[SMALL WHIMPER]

[WHINES]

So, what else do you do
besides not cooking?

To make some money,
I work part-time

at an East Village newspaper
doing copyediting.

But I don't know how long
it's going to last.

The paper?
No, the job.

I really
can't spell.

[LAUGHS]

[GIGGLES]

But the real thing
that I do is design hats.

I think my hats
are pretty good.

They're different,
anyway.

Do you, um...?
Do you actually sell them?

I mean, the one you've
got on is fairly unusual.

Well, I don't know.

The problem is,
I really don't know
how to sew,

so they don't look so good.

What I need is a manufacturer.

But when they see them,

they tell me to go away.

But, I mean...

a lot of designers
can't sew.

Coco Chanel,

for example.

Coco Chanel couldn't sew?

I don't know.

What about you?

How's your relationship?

It's fine. Fine.

There's just
one small problem.

We fight all the time.

But...it's her apartment.

Listen...

could I
call you again?

We could be friends.

Hm. Friends?

[LAUGHS]
Oop. Yeah.

Sure.
If you wanna be.

Great.

Could you sign
your book for me?

Sure.

And write down
your phone number.
Okay.

MAN [ON TV]:
--combining business
with pleasure, is there?

I've never found
that there was.

WOMAN:
They have a lovely place,
Johnny, just outside of Paris.

MAN:
A week in London,
a week in Paris,

10 days in the south
of France, ideal.

Then you could sail from
Genoa and return by the--

WOMAN:
He wants me to start making
some financial contribution,

but he still doesn't
want to marry me.

So, of course,

now is when Bruce,
the old flame,
reappears and--

And he wants me
to live with him.

Well, what are
you gonna do?

Well, I know Bruce
is a jerk, but...

I thought I'd
live with him

and then fly up to teach
one day a week in Boston,

and maybe I'd meet somebody
I like better than Bruce
in New York.

Abby, I'm
telling you,

don't do it.

In the old days marriages were
arranged by the parents.

And you could end up
with a jerk,

but at least you had
the security of marriage.

No one can dump you
out on the street.

In today's world,
it's a slave system.

You live with this guy
in New York,
you'll be a slave.

And what would happen
if you two have a fight,

and he tells you
to move out?

HAIRDRESSER:
With your salary, you'll never
be able to find an apartment.

Well, I thought
I would be with Bruce

while I looked
for someone else.

Abby...forget it.

You think you'll be making
an improvement,

but that's
not the case.

It's not the same
in other cities.

The rents aren't
so high.

Roger doesn't have
the same power over you

if you threaten to move out,
get your own place in Boston.

Are you sure there are
no available men in New York?

There are
hundreds of women.

They are out on the prowl.

And the men
are all gay

or in the slave class
themselves.

Your only solution
is to get rich

so you can have
your own apartment.

Then you can have
your own slave.

He would be poor,
but amenable.

ABBY:
Well, these women,
the ones that are prowling,

are they attractive?

ELEANOR:
Abby, this is New York.

They all have
$150 haircuts and--

ABBY:
Hundred-and-fifty-dollar
haircuts?

How much are these
gonna cost?

Don't worry
about it.

I traded Francine
some of my hats for them.

Didn't you
see when we came in?

They're over here.

Oh, those are yours?
Show me.

Wow.

Oh, these are
terrific.

Oh, that's wonderful.

Have you sold
a lot of 'em?

Uh, not yet,
but...

Thank you.

Francine said that
one almost sold last week.

God, Eleanor,
you're so lucky.

I mean, you get to
live in New York,

you have a boyfriend
who's a famous artist,

an interesting life.

Yeah, I'm really crazy
about him.

Sometimes it
surprises me,

because all I ever wanted
was an ordinary life.

[SIGHS]

Come on.
Let's go.

Andrew needs
his walkies.

And, uh...

Oh, thanks.
Thanks.
Sure.

I've gotta
fix dinner.

MAGOO [ON TV]:
By George, I'll get him.

ELEANOR: Had coffee today
with this really interesting
guy. You'd like him.

STASH:
What guy?

[POLAROID CLICKS, WHIRS]

ELEANOR:
This guy. He lives near here
with his girlfriend, B.

She's an artist,
he's a writer.

Maybe the four of us
could all go out sometime.

Here he comes.

[POLAROID CLICKS, WHIRS]

Easier than
I thought.

What? Y-you went out
for coffee with a man?

Yeah...coffee.

He talked about
his book

and he gave me
a copy.

He seems nice.

It'd be nice if we
had some new friends.

Here, I'll show you
what he wrote.

BOY:
Were you naughty?

WALDO:
Uh, well, you know,
it's kind of like...

MAGOO:
Waldo, my boy.

As soon as we get home,
you must get a haircut.

I-I can't...

I can't--
I can't even...

believe...

Listen, Eleanor...

why don't you
just move out,

start sleeping
with this guy.

What?!

Pff.

How dare you.

How dare you
bring home

little love notes
from some cretin.

Are you
kidding?

What are you
talking about?

Don't give me
that dumb act.

What?

I wouldn't have
told you

if there were anything
going on.

All I did was
talk to Mikell
about you,

and how great
you are.

And he talked
about B.

Don't give me that.

That's how
it begins.

How what begins?

Go out for coffee,
talk about relationships,

and then you jump
into bed with each other.

You're not serious,
are you?

[SIGHS]

WALDO:
Hang on. I got a rock
stuck in my shoe.

MAGOO:
Waldo, why don't you
take it out.

WALDO:
Yeah. That's
a good idea.

Why don't you just go
fuck this guy?

But I don't want to.

I mean, are you
provoking this

because you want me
to move out?

If you want me
to move out,

then just
say so.

You know how much
I love you.

I can't understand
your reaction.

[INHALES DEEPLY]

Then there's something
wrong with you.

MAGOO:
Genuine albino
gorillas africanus.

Good work, Waldo.

What is it that
I hate about you most?

My messiness.

[POLAROID CLICKS, WHIRS]

No.

My personality.

Nope.

It's your insecurity.

That's what I hate
most about you.

You're so damn insecure.

Why don't you stop?

I know I'm insecure,
but I don't understand

how my having coffee
with a man illustrates

this particular
character defect.

Oh, yeah?

Well...

you just think about it,
Eleanor.

Just think
about it.

[POLAROID CLICKS, WHIRS]

MAGOO:
He must have been
running fast

when he hit your wall.
Ha! Ha!

[ALL LAUGHING]

I, uh...

I made a painting
for you, Daria.

I was thinking
for a while

that I'd like you
to have one.

I just
finished it.

It's a...

It's a kind of
a new direction.

Caviar?

Uh...

So...

what do you
think?

Hey, did I
tell you?

Ginger says my work
might be at the Biennale.

Really?

She got a call
last week.

SHERMAN:
Jesus Christ,
Marley.

I'm just
gonna quit.

They're trying to
break my spleen.

I've known
Ginger Booth
for 14 years.

She promised me this year
she was gonna represent me.

Aaah, my leg!

Jesus.

Are you all right?

SHERMAN:
Yeah.

Listen,
I gotta go.

I told Ginger I'd finish
some new stuff and--

And bring it over.

You're not
gonna quit, Sherman.

You'll get a break
one of these days.

Just hang
in there.

Bye, Marley.

Bye.

Anyway...

this is your painting.

If you want me
to unstretch it,

I could probably
carry it for you.

Maybe you should rethink
what you're trying to do.

Rethink what
I'm trying to do?

Yeah.

Well, I was just about to
ask you to marry me,

but now I won't.

How many times can you
not ask me to marry you?

I'd never
marry you anyway.

Don't be so sure.

You might, if you got
desperate enough.

Never.

You know, a porcupine
will follow a trail
of Tums anywhere

because it's desperate
for calcium.

But I'm not gonna
follow you again.

[DOOR OPENS,
CLOSES]

[SOUND OF ENGINE REVVING]

["SAY HI TO YOUR GUY"
PLAYING]

Say hey

FEMALE CHORUS:
Ahhhh

Say hi to your guy for me

Send him my love

Send him my sympathy

I-yah-hay

Ahhhh

Saw him the other day

Sorry.
Hey, man.

I didn't know what to say

He looked the other waaaaaay

Does he whisper
When he's with you?

[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]

Does he call out my name?

Does he tell you
That he loves you

As he walks in the rain?

Does he take you
To Lovers'

La-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-ane

Yeah-hey

Does he still
Play the guitar?

What was that tune?

Let me tell you something,
Marley,

I'm a very desirable person.

There's a lot of women
who'd be...

happy to have me around.

It doesn't happen often

that two people
love each other that much.

Does he always
Keep you waitin'?

In the night
In the day-hay?

Or does he send you flowers?

With your hair
Does he like to play?

With his eyes
Does he start to say

"Can't you see
What I'm tryin' to

Sa-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-ay?"

Yeah-wah-oh

Ohhhh

You'll see
That your guy is for me

SHERMAN:
God, I'm so depressed.

I'm who he loves

I mean, what the hell
am I doing here?

What the fuck is all this
supposed to be?

[SCOFFS]

[GUITAR SOLO PLAYING]

MARLEY:
See you in a while.

[THUNDER RUMBLES]

[MAXI PRIEST'S "SOME GUYS
HAVE ALL THE LUCK" PLAYING]

Oh, God, there he is.
Hey. Hey, Marley!

Marley.
Hey.

Hi. Listen,

I'm locked out,
and I can't find my keys.

Can I come up with you?

Sure. Come on.

Bye.

Good night.

I will.

There's love everywhere
Yet there's none for you

Some guys have
All the luck

CHORUS:
Some guys have
All the luck

[SNORING]

Some guys have
All the pain

Some guys have
All the pain

Some guys have a little
Sunshine in their lives

[WHIMPERS]

My life is
Always filled with rain

[MOANS]
[SNORING]

Someone to take on
A walk by the lake

[CAR ALARM BLARING]

[BLARING STOPS]

God, how could I have
done this to Sherman?

The guy's
my best friend.

[WHIMPERS]

[GROANS]

Well, I'll just
tell Sherman

that it's over
between him and me.

No. Don't do that.

Please don't say
anything to him.

[CLATTERING]

[BANGING]

[WATER SPLASHING]

MARLEY:
Oh, shit.

[SPLASHING CONTINUES]

[SIGHS]

Lookit, Daria...

you're a great girl
and everything...

but my friendship with Sherman
is kinda more important.

I tell you what.

How would you like
one of my paintings?

Would you really let me have
one of your paintings?

Could you also...

show my slides
to your dealer?

I don't have
a gallery.

Mantello!

[BANGING ON DOOR]

Mr. Mantello,
what is going on
in there?

How do you do
these things?

I didn't do anything.
I just turned on the sink.

You are my least
favorite human.

You are nothing but bullshit.

Now, why don't you
get lost.

[BANGING ON DOOR]

[DOORKNOB RATTLES]

[BANGING ON DOOR]

Mantello!

Hey! Look, look!

Taxi!

Hold it!

[WOMAN SHRIEKS]

Come on.

You scared the hell
out of that woman.

Yeah, you think so?

I remember
when I first met you

how I was attracted
to you

because you looked
so dangerous.

[CHUCKLES]

Well, that's
definitely a symptom

of immaturity
on your part, Eleanor.

Stash,
don't let's fight.

Okay, okay.
We'll be friends.

Really?

Mm-hmm.

God, Stash.
But...

please don't pick on me
every second of my existence.

Makes me feel like
I'm a fly,

and you're picking
the wings off me.

Oh, don't give me

that "wings picked off"
business, Eleanor.

Bzzzzz.

[LAUGHS]

[CLUCKING]

[SQUAWKS]

Chocolates! Whoo!

[AMBITIOUS LOVERS'
"LOVE OVERLAP" PLAYING]

[POPS]

[LAUGHS]

What a loud
little mouth.

Can we
go home soon?

WOMAN:
Cigarettes, anybody?

Daria.

Hello, Mooshka.
How are you?

[RUSSIAN ACCENT]
Happy birthday,
darling.

Happy birthday to you.

Thank you.
Good luck.

Into overdrive
Then you tell me

She looks very nice.

Godzilla.

You work me out

Which one of you guys
gave me this?

You say my kissing

We did.

Is nothing but overbreath

What's he do?

Here.

It's from me and Eleanor.

It's a lighter.

How does it work?

He does this:

[BEEPS]

[SNARLS]

[BLOWS]

Which one's Eleanor?

Overpriced
You underline...

Me.

["LOVE OVERLAP" FADES]

[BROODING CLASSICAL THEME
PLAYING]

Want some cake?

Oh.

Hmm?

[MAN YELLS]

[VOCALIZING]

Henry, do you want
some of my cake?

[CHUCKLES]

I made this one.

Then I'll have to
try it.

That little Daria,
she's such a flirt.

Sometimes I think,

"How did a daughter of mine
become such a femme fatale?"

And then I realize,
she takes after her mother.

You look pensive.

Henry will pour us
some champagne,

and you'll stop pensing.

Come this way.

Come on.

["LOVE OVERLAP" RESUMES]

Whoa, you don't have
any champagne.

Have
some champagne.

Henry, here's
your cake.

Come on, this is a party.

Show me your smile.

You don't look
very happy.

Actually, I was just planning
my boyfriend's funeral.

Oh, my God.
I'm sorry, I didn't know.

No, no, no.
He's not dead.

But you know how
you get mad at someone,

and you think,
"Gee, what a--

What a tragedy it would be
if he died."

And how-- How, uh--
What the funeral would be like

and how nice everyone
would be to you afterwards.

And I'm a hat designer.
I design hats.

And I was thinking,
"What kind of hat
would I wear?"

And I thought
something big, kind of--

Kind of Anna Magnani.

And-- But flat,
something flat, you know.

I think a flat hat
would be appropriate,

and of course
it would be black.

And I was thinking,
"Well, the funeral could have

lots of little people
dressed up as ducks"

because he's a painter.
So I was thinking--

Excuse me. Excuse me.

[LAUGHS]

Thank you.

MAN:
This is going to be
so much fun.

Who are you
talking about?

I always wanted
to be the wife.

It was due to me
his painting received
favorable reviews

Let me know
if he gets tired of you.

I always wanted
to be a wife.

I have all
the cleaning supplies
right here in my bag.

But you've heard the story of
how I fixed the sewage system?

You don't happen
to have a Valium?

No, I'm sorry,
I don't.

The story of how I fixed
the sewage system?

Do you know what
happened today?

I don't think
I heard that story.

It was so much fun.
I met Eddie Fisher.

Oh, Eddie Fisher!

Who's that guy
on the bed?

I don't know
what you're talking about.

I think I'm
falling in love.

He's my boyfriend.

He's not
that attractive.

Well... Oh, you write
art criticism?

Don't be stupid. No.

I think that--
Oh, goodbye.

It's been very nice
talking to you.

See you later.

So, um,

what do you think
of Daria's art?

Oh, I think it's wonderful,
you know.

Reminds you of
decoration one can see

in some Italian restaurants
in Brooklyn.

Yes, or, like,

something at one of those
summer-camp crafts projects.

No. Not at all.

Where are you from,
originally, I mean?

Where am I from?
Yes.

Where am I from?

What kind of question
is that?

Oh, gee, I'm sorry.

I-I don't know where you're
from to-- To ask such things.

I'm sorry.

I'll just take you
to meet him, then.

[NENEH CHERRY'S
"BUFFALO STANCE" PLAYING]

Anyway, I'll call you
tomorrow, okay?

All right.

Good night, Eleanor.
Bye, Stash.

You look weird.

What was that about?

What?

That...

she was going to
call you tomorrow.

I'm gonna try
and find her a gallery.

Oh.

Maybe Victor
will take her.

Her stuff is good,
don't you think?

It looks like
what you'd find

in Italian restaurants
in Brooklyn.

Hold on a second.
Let me sit down.

[EXHALES HEAVILY]

[GASPS]

What's wrong?

Oh, nothing.
I'm just--

I felt a little dizzy
there for a second.

Okay, I'm all right now.

Let's go.

I'm not too good.

Let's just lean
on that car over there.

How much champagne
did you drink, Eleanor?

One glass.

[WEAKLY]
I just can't continue.

Well, don't take
off your clothes.

Oh. If you don't
feel good,

let's at least wait
till we get home.

Can't move.

If I stand up...

I'm going to faint.

What are you doing?
We can't just stay here.

I can't walk.

STASH:
We'd better go see my doctor.

[ELEANOR GASPING]

STASH:
If I hadn't been
with you tonight,

and you were lying across
the sidewalk alone,

you could've been
in big trouble.

[ELEVATOR WHIRRING]

Are you gonna go see
my doctor tomorrow?

That does it. We're going
to the emergency room
right now.

ELEANOR:
No!

I'll go see a doctor tomorrow.

[SIGHS]

I'm feeling
much better now.

Now, could you please
walk the dog tonight?

I don't think
I can make it.

[PHONE RINGING]

MAN:
Hi, this is Emily.

This is Marley Mantello's
private secretary.

He's not here--

Fred, stop that.
I'm not in the mood.

I'm trying to leave
a message here.

He's not in right now. Have--

Fred, don't touch me there.
Not right now.

Uh...

[GASPS]

[MOANS]

[SQUEALS]

Anyway, after the beep,
please.

[MACHINE BEEPS]

GINGER:
Goddamn it, Marley, wake up.

I know you're there.

Look, we are coming by
in 15 minutes, so shape up.

And don't touch any food.

Not a morsel, not a crumb.

[LINE CLICKS]

[TIRES SCREECHING]

In you go, Princess.

You know, to tell you
the truth,

I was never much
interested in art.

Come along, Princess.

Here you go,
darlin'.

Here you go.

There.

Then one day,
at the age of 52,
I looked at a painting.

It was by accident,
more or less,

and I couldn't breathe.

I thought I was
having a heart attack

for that one minute.

So one thing
led to another...

and now I got
a man in Montana

who calls himself
an environmental artist

who is moving
piles of mud

from one part
of Montana to another.

And I've got me a gal

chained to a Korean

and a Doberman pinscher

who is videotaping
every moment

of their year
chained together.

And it's costing me
a bundle.

I bought that picture
to embarrass my mother.

She died last year,
age 87.

I can laugh about it now.

Listen, I can make you
more famous

than anybody
since the Medici.

You could have
your own chapel,

the Chuck Dade
Dolger Chapel.

Maybe, just maybe.

Let's get going
with those fixin's.

Could you try not to
alienate him, Marley?

I know how difficult
it is.

Who, me?

[GEORGE JONES' "GRAND TOUR"
PLAYING]

Step right up
Come on in

If you'd like to take
The grand tour

Oatmeal?

No. I'll just have
the grapefruit.

Just
the grapefruit?

I'll have the oatmeal
after I finish this.

Gotta tell you something,
Marley.

I'm thinking about buying
one of your goddamn paintings.

Mmmm.

Which one?

Eat, Marley. Don't talk, eat.
What the hell's wrong
with you?

How can you expect to paint
if you can't eat?

I don't have much faith
in any man today

except your true
Renaissance man.

Now, you take your
average man of today...

why, he's expected
to be a specialist.

And that's no better
than some lower
form of nature.

Here, have some more eggs
and some more sausage.

There you go.

Your work is a pretty thing.

Well, not so much these,
maybe.

What the hell
is going with--?

What's this
supposed to be?

It's a party
of beauty.

It's a big get-together
of all the beautiful people.

Venus of Milo, Aphrodite,
Hebe, the Graces,

Cupid, Apollo,
Hyperion, Narcissus.

Well,
I don't care for it much,

but that small one
in her office.

Oh, you mean
Geoffrey Chaucer's
First Date.

Mm-hm.

That painting displays
as fine a representation

of a pair of lady's breasts
as I have ever seen.

Do you use
a live model?

Dirty magazines.

Oh, Marley,
keep your voice down.

We don't want Ginger
and Princess to take offense
at that, do we?

Now, uh,

let me ask you
something, Marley.

That old Geoffrey Chaucer
on His First Date.

Now, that's what I'd call
overpriced, wouldn't you say?

Chuck,

that is between
you and me.

You have no business
bringing that up with Marley.

You rich collectors are always
looking for bargains.

Listen, that painting is cheap
at twice the price.

At 10 times the price.

GINGER:
Shut up. Eat.

You brought me here
to kill me.

You collectors
are just waiting

for me to die.

Then you'll have
your field day,
like with Géricault,

Gauguin and Van Gogh.

Look at this.

I got here an hour ago
and I found this.

They slashed my
Dudley Do-Right painting

and they stole
the Donald Duck.

Were they gonna be
in the show?

Yes, they were gonna be
in the show.

What the fuck am I
supposed to do now?

They slashed
the Dudley Do-Right,

but they stole Donald.

I guess they like Donald
better than Dudley.

No, I like the Dudley.

I thought
the Dudley was terrific.

I don't know what the fuck
I'm gonna do!

Okay, okay.

How many paintings
do you have left?

Fourteen.

And how many
do you need for the show?

Twenty.

Well, couldn't you
just have fewer?

Dudley Do-Right
and the Donald Duck

were the best paintings
and the show was designed

around them.

And the watercolors
were stolen.

I was gonna show them
downstairs.

Look, these look
like watercolors.

Oh, yeah,
these are the watercolors.

Let me see them.
I never saw them.

This is called
The Wisdom of Solomon.

Oh.

Oh, they're nice.

You don't--
Oh, look at that.

-I love them.
-This is Moses
in the Bulrushes.

Tom as little Moses.

Cleopatra's played by Jerry.

Cleopatra?

Yeah.

Nice.

Oh, Stash,
these are great.

You-- Oh, God.

You really must have
been working hard.

These are wonderful.

DARIA:
Stash.

STASH:
Oh, Daria, great.

You can help me
take my stuff
down to Victor's.

Hi, Eleanor. I didn't
expect to see you here.

I want this stuff out of here.
I was burglarized.

What about your show?

I guess this means
you won't be able
to come with me.

Well, I can't now, Eleanor.
Just go without me.

Just tell Wilfredo
who you are.

I traded a painting
to Wilfredo Sylvain

for a dress for Eleanor.

Lucky you.

What are you gonna get?

I don't know.

Maybe one of those dresses
that look like cotton candy.

Why can't you paint those
missing paintings over again?

When would I have time
to do it between now
and next week?

Don't you
have an assistant?

I could probably help.

You? You can't even
glue a feather on right.

Well,
I'm not doing anything.

Yeah? Maybe.

Are you sure?
I mean, we'd have
to work all night.

I stay up all night
anyway.

-Putting on more makeup,
Eleanor?
-No.

Actually, I'm just checking to
make sure that I'm still here.

Did you ever get the feeling
that you didn't exist?

I started to feel
that way since--

Since yesterday.

I couldn't get an appointment
till the day after tomorrow.

What's wrong?

Nothing,
I just faint occasionally.

I fainted right after
your birthday party.

Maybe you drank too much.

[ZIGGY MARLEY & THE MELODY
MAKERS "TUMBLIN' DOWN"
PLAYING]

The load gonna come
Tumblin' down

The load gonna come
Tumblin', tumblin'

Load gonna come

Tumblin' down

Load gonna come
Whoa

Tumblin' down

Load gonna come
Tumblin' down

The load gonna come
Tumblin' down

The load gonna come...

WOMAN:
He's been showing...

[WOMAN SPEAKING
INDISTINCTLY]

Oh, no.

What?!

What is this?

I can't believe it.
Uta's show is still hanging.

How can I come here
and hang my show?

Zoe, where is Victor?

In the office.

Stash?

DARIA:
Stash?

Stash.

What are you doing here?

Victor,
I can't believe this.

Stash...

You told me last week
Uta's show would be down

and you'd get
the walls repainted!

Stash, not now.

Come back in an hour.

How you gonna get
the walls repainted in time?

Stash--!

STASH:
I can't go through this again!

Stash, be calm long enough

to meet these men
from Japanese television.

Kyoshi Matsudo.
How are you?

Hi. How are you?

[SPEAKING JAPANESE]

Eleanor, uh... Sorry,
I forgot your last name.

Victor.

Victor!

-Come in.

You're from
Japanese television?

You can be part
of the interview.
Come on in.

Ladies,
please.

And I love
that whole aesthetic.

Later, we'll talk.

Oh, God.

Please, gentlemen, step in.

[COUGHS]

Victor,
they broke into my studio,

and the two
biggest paintings:

How many times
have I told you?

Never leave your
finished work in the studio.

I have told you a hundred
times.

Send the new work down here
as soon as it's finished.

Then you say
you have no room for it!

You don't listen to me, Stash!

When I tell--!

[MEN SPEAKING JAPANESE]

Please continue.

When I tell you

that I'm in the middle
of an important interview

and having you cause
a scene!

Look at you!

You sound incoherent!

I sound incoherent?

I'm sorry.

I cannot deal with you
when you operate

from this position
of insecurity.

I don't need
to take this shit.

You coming,
Eleanor?

No, she's going
to pick out her dress.

Me and you
are going to work.

Bye.
Nice to meet you.

DARIA:
Stash?

Please, gentlemen,
please excuse his behavior.

They all get nervous
before their shows.

I'll speak
to him later.

Where did he go,
Eleanor?

That girl is going to help him
duplicate his paintings.

This is all exhausting for me.
It's like a constant battle.

Can't you talk to him,
Eleanor?

I'm trying
to run a gallery here.

This is about planning
for the future.

When he bursts in--

I gotta go. I-- I--

I'll try and tell him.

I don't wanna be
in home movies.

I can't sleep.
I'm up all night.

Now this, now that.

I've been to his place...
They're following--

...four times
in the last six months...

I don't wanna--

And he acts as if he has no--
No respect for me.

Now,
that's really why I came--

[LES RITA MITSOUKO'S "TONGUE
DANCE" PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

Now it's out
So do the tongue dance...

I'm Eleanor.
I came to pick out a dress.

My boyfriend,
Stash Stotz,

he traded a painting
for a dress for me.

I don't know
anything about it.
You don't?

Enjoy it
The wave motion...

Is Wilfredo around?

Wilfredo, hi.

I'm Eleanor,
Stash's girlfriend.

He was gonna come with me,
but his studio--

Oh, yeah.
How you doing?

Came to pick up
a coat, right?
A dress.

Yeah, I got a really great
coat for you in the back.

But, uh, just one problem
with it,

which is why they're
not that popular.

It's not fireproof,
if you know what I mean.

So just stay away from
cigarettes when you wear it.

Where did you get
that hat?

I made it.

Yeah? It's really cool.

I make hats.

Yeah? You sell them?

Um... Uh...

Not yet, not really.

Huh.

You got more?
Yeah.

Maybe sometime
I can take a look at them?

Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
I'd love to show you.

Here you go.
Linda.

Oh, wow.

Do the snake
Round and round...

It's got a tail.

It kind of goes
with your hat, huh?

Yeah, really. It's great.

So, uh...I'll give you
a call about those hats.

Fantastic.

Just remember
to keep away from fire

when you wear this coat,
all right?

Do you really think Victor's
done all that much for you?

STASH:
I mean, I don't know
where else I'd show

if I wasn't with Victor.

This whole thing is my fault.

He told me not to leave
my work in the studio
before the show.

FEMALE VOICE:
Become aware of the many

unconsciously negative things
you say about yourself.

I'm aware of it.
Daria.

Learn to be your
own best friend.

I am negative.

Tell yourself only
positive things.

I've got a dog.

When you stand up
your boss...

He took out
a lot of big ads.

I screwed up.

I don't know
what I'd do without him.

I feel stupid
sometimes.

"I'm hopeless and inept..."

This is gonna be
really neat-looking.

I am stupid.

Reprogram yourself
whenever you do this.

Put some glitter.

I, Roberta--

I, Eleanor.

Feel good
about myself.

"I am a valuable...

I think it's gonna
turn out even better.

"--esteemed as
a unique individual."

God, it's freezing
in here, Marley.

Here, have some.

It's been I think
freezing I'll call it...
for months.

That's why I stopped
paying the rent.

And now the son-of-a-bitch
landlord

is evicting me.

God, my heart is broken.
I think I'm dying.

I don't understand
how she could have

the nerve to reject me.

[PEOPLE SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY
OVER TV]

SUPER: Who is it?
Emergency.

It's the New York City
Health Department.

Open the door.

Mantello, you're
my least favorite human.

I got a friend upstairs
who's dying.

Turn on the heat.

You're evicted.

You are not existing
any longer.

Many months you have
bounced the checks.

Now we have
this water disaster.

You're the responsibility.

I hate you.

The man is insane.

I'd call up
the NewsWatch hotline,

but they don't give a fuck
about a starving artist.

No, they just care
about the rich people
in this city.

God,
my heart's broken.

Tell you what.

I'm gonna show you some stuff
I've been thinking about.

Well, what
do you think?

[SIGHS]

What is it?

What do you mean,
what is it?

It's Ulysses
arriving home.

This is the part
where he's being

greeted by his filthy
old beagle.

Don't you think
that Ulysses shit

has been painted
enough already?

You don't understand.

See, Ulysses is gonna be
this little derelict.

His wife dumped him.

He spent 20 years
hanging around bars,

talking about art
and never making it.

You're talking about me,
aren't you?

That's the way you think
I'm gonna turn out.

Anyway, Ulysses
gets home.

His wife is living
in a sort of Cape Cod
beach house.

He comes over to see
if she's got a couple dollars

she could loan him.

We're talking
modern tragedy here.

You're not exactly in sync
with the times.

Now, maybe you know
something that I don't know,

but your work looks a lot like

a ton of stuff
done in the late '60s.

[PHONE RINGING]

Hey, look, man.
I didn't mean
to turn on you.

It's just, every time
you start talking,

[HANGS UP]

I start thinking
about Daria.

Couldn't you just hire her
as your assistant...

[PHONE RINGS]

...and, you know, sit around
and say nice things about me?

Yeah, who is it?

Hey, man.

I'm just across the street,
and I thought I'd come over.

Uh, I don't think that's--

You know, I've been thinking
about you a lot lately.

Really?
What?

When was the last time
anybody seduced you?

Marley.

Shit.

Ooh!

I bought you a chicken.

Can I come up?

What?

And some chocolates.

Uh, you can't come up.

Oh! Oh.

Oh, yeah.

Mm. Mmm.

Oh, yeah, you look
adorable today.

Oh, yeah.

Well, I thought
you'd like this chicken.

Hey, I can't--
Listen.

["GLU$CK, DAS MIR VERBLIEB"
PLAYING]

This isn't gonna work out,
Daria. I'm sorry.

You don't want me
coming upstairs?

Did you say
you have chocolates?

Truffles.

I'll just taste one.

Whoo!

Uh, you don't want
that chicken?

It's for you.

Well, I don't want
the chicken to go to waste.

Well, gotta go.

Hey.

Wait a sec--

You don't mind me
spending the night,

and now you don't want me
coming upstairs?

What about that painting
you promised me?

["GLU$CK, DAS MIR VERBLIEB"
CONTINUES PLAYING]

Marley.

Marley.

Marley?

[YELLS]

[SCREAMING]

[CRASH]

["GLU$CK, DAS MIR VERBLIEB"
FADES OUT]

[JOE LEEWAY'S "MOTHER DEAREST"
PLAYING]

All right!

Hey, I heard
you got broken into.

What's happening
with your show?

It's fucked!

But I'm gonna have it anyway.

I'm just gonna
repaint the stuff over.

Yeah, man, it's a drag.

I got a call
out of L.A...

Must reach for love bones

Before the dog does

In your mom's eye
You were just so cool

Don't ya believe that
You know it goes to

It's tough to build it

FRITZ:
--and I go, "What about
my fur coat?" And he goes:

"No, they didn't take
your fur coat, but they
drank your orange juice."

So I go--

Hi, Beauregard,
how are you?

Fine.

Fritz.

What?
My name is Fritz.

Fritz. I'm sorry, I...

Eleanor, why don't you
go get us some drinks.

Here is a...

20.

What are you having,
Fritz?

FRITZ:
Um, make it an Absolut
on the rocks.

Give me a beer.

I don't feel so good.
I feel weird.

Okay, okay.

So anyway,
I ask him,

"What about the VCR
and the television?"

You give me motion

You put the rhythm
Into my livin'

Oh, well, I'm so glad
I have to go back

Too loose to greet ya

You wretched creature

Some chains on my wrist
Will take away

Your pride, pride

Pride, pride, pride, pride,
Pride, pride, pride

You held me
Like a piece of cake

Now eat it

Time

With all my body
And all my mind

Time

Two thoughts and mostly
I saw one kind...

I'm very sorry.
I'm going to faint.

Well, here, here.
Sit up here.

Are you, uh...
You pregnant or something?

No. No, I'm not.
I just feel faint. I'm...

I feel--
I know I'm gonna be okay

because I'm in a chair now.

Thanks.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

I was just leaving anyway.

All right.
Thank you.

I'm going to faint.

Listen, on Sunday,

we're having the baseball
first of the season.

You want me to play?

Yeah.

I'll try and make it.

Hi.

Mooshka.

Bill, do you know Mooshka?

Listen, I can't
tell you how I feel.

Look at my important
accident.

Your face, what happened?

My eyebrows, my eyelashes
and most of my hair

was blown off because I put
my head in the oven
for testing,

and then the explosion.

ELEANOR:
That's terrible.

I want to look at you
in the stronger light of day.

[LAUGHS]

Come with me
into the bathroom.

Excuse me.

Do you wanna do it?
Do you wanna do it?

Do you wanna do it?
Do you wanna do it?

Doesn't he watch out for you,
take care of you?

Mikell, what are you
doing here?

I just came out for
the evening.
This is a public nightclub.

How much money have you got?

Five dollars.

No, I mean in general.

A thousand dollars.

Well, that's enough.

For what?

For you and me
to get out of here.

We can start a new life.

Or at least have
dinner together.

Oh...

That's very nice of you,

but you wouldn't want me
once you got to know me.

I'm not interesting.
I lack social skills.

I don't exercise.

Oh, shut up.

I think about you
all the time.

Oh, shit, here comes B.

Well, isn't that nice.

You.

Listen, you go ahead
and do what you want.

You will anyway.
I just wanna say one thing.

I'm sick of living
in a goddamn city

where the women do nothing
to support each other.

The men hate women,
and the women hate women.

Hold it, B. I think
you're overreacting.

Oh, please.

I don't know what the hell
you'd want him for, anyway.

I'm really sorry
I got you into this.

Stash.

Stash, this is Mikell.
Mikell, this is Stash.

Hi.

I'll give you a call
when things settle down.

I've gotta go
and find her.

You couldn't be a little
more subtle about it?

You have to meet
this guy in public?

I fainted.
Mikell picked me up.

I don't care if you do
have an affair.

I just think it's disgusting
if you do it at my expense.

Stash.

Oh!

Stash, can we talk about this?

You're acting like
a Neanderthal.

Why can't we talk about this?

I don't wanna talk about it.
Look at you, you're a mess.

I'm taking you home.

Oh, my God, it's you.

La Christa,
where have you been?

You promised to pose
for the nude Polaroids
on the cross.

No, I didn't.
No, I didn't.

What the hell's this?

Please. Stay and talk
to me for a minute.

You're out to get me.
I can't believe this.

Fine, I'll see you later.

Stash.

You remember the stone
in the shoe?

The athlete's foot,

the cross,
La Christa in Rome.

The priest who gave me
a sandwich.

What is this?

Please, please.

Please just let me
get into the car.

Do you have a number?

I can't.

STASH:
Mott and Houston,
let's go.

Wait.

Can't we just meet for coffee?
It's nothing personal.

You never asked me
to pose for you once.

Not ever.

[TYPEWRITER CLATTERING]

I don't normally go
to doctors. The only doctor
I ever went to

was my family doctor,
Dr. Hennessey,

and he was at least
80 years old,

and he used to beg me
not to take off my clothes.

Uh...

Anyway, the point is,
I wouldn't be here

if I didn't think
something was wrong.

You take some drugs?

No. No,
I never take drugs.

I mean, I would take drugs
if they made me feel good,

but I tried some drugs
a couple of years ago,

and they made me feel lousy.

I'm normal.
I'm a normal person.

I'm trying to achieve
the middle class.

[PHONE RINGING]

Excuse me, Dr. Pandiya,

is there something
wrong with me?

Your blood pressure is low.

Probably, if you get up
too quickly after
a few drinks,

you'll feel dizzy.

But I didn't have a
few drinks.
I fainted in a nightclub.

You wouldn't believe how many
people I treat in nightclubs.

People faint all the time.
Vasovagal syncope.

You must not have
too much fun in clubs.

In my country,

there are women known

for their great strength
and endurance

who are no stronger
than you are, my dear.

But...

[SITAR PLAYING]

...they have
something in common
which you have not.

What's that?

Smelling salts.

And so in honor of your
sensitivity and delicacy,

I present you with this.

Wow!

[GASPS]

[VIDEO GAME CHIMING
AND BLEEPING IN DISTANCE]

[MOANS]

[SIGHS]

Oh, God, Stash,
you're so brilliant.

You think I could ever have
one of your paintings?

Oh, shit.

What am I gonna
tell Eleanor?

Tell her that we
were working late..

and you had to help me
walk my dog...

and it got attacked
by an Akita...

so we had to go
to the dog hospital.

Yeah.

Yeah, okay.

[PLAYING OVER DISTANT BOOMBOX]
Get up in the morning

And I'm filled with desire

No, no
I can't stop the fire

Love is a real live wire

Ooh, it's a burning
Sensation

Far beyond imagination

Love is like an itching
In my heart

Tearing it all apart

Just an itching
In my heart

And, baby
I can't scratch it

Keeps me sighing

Ooh-ooh-ooh

Keeps me yearning

No, Mama
Can't help me

No, Daddy
Can't help me...

Where were you?
Why didn't you call me?

What happened?

Daria was helping me
at the studio,

and I walked her home
and took her dog for a walk,

and it was attacked
by a cheetah.

We have a dog here.

Tell me you're
having an affair.

That's why you've been acting
so weird, to cover up.

There's nothing between
Daria and me, Eleanor.

We've been friends
for years and years.

We used to hang out
all the time.

I paid for half
of that Godzilla lighter
for her birthday.

She never even thanked me.

Can't scratch it

[SAXOPHONE SOLO
PLAYING OVER BOOMBOX]

Love is a nagging
Irritation...

What about me? I had to spend
the whole day at the doctor's.

Oh!

What happened?

It was weird.

He spent hours
examining my breasts.

What?

Report him. What do your
breasts have to do
with fainting?

He had to listen to my heart.

And I can't shake
The feeling

Love is like an itching
In my heart

Tearing it all apart...

So, what did he say
was wrong?

Vasovascular
syn...copations.

Which means?

I faint in nightclubs.

It's a common problem.

Why do you go
to that crummy clinic?

They don't know
anything there.

I thought you were murdered.

Mugged or murdered.

I'd have nothing without you.

There isn't anything between
Daria and me, Eleanor.

Really. Don't be jealous.

All she has is
her big old dumb dog,

but we have each other.

Please don't tell me
you're having an affair.

I wouldn't wanna go on living.

Let's go to sleep, Eleanor.

[PEOPLE PLAYING
XYLOPHONE AND DRUMS]

Whoa! Everybody, come.
Come here. Come. Whoa!

Hey, come here.

Now, listen,
and listen tight.

I'm gonna change
the batting order.

You're batting number one.
You're number two.

Number three.
You're number four.

Number five.
You're number six.

Can I be seven?

Seven, eight and nine, okay?
Here's the mitter's catch.

Catcher's mitt.

Now, listen,
we lost 28 games,

so let's go out there
and play, okay?

Come on, let's go.

Come on, everybody.
Wake up. Let's go.

Hey, Victor.

So, what's the deal?

What?

Me?
Yeah.

Oh, look what I got.
Look what I got.
Let's play!

Come on, let's play ball.

Hey, Mantello,
we'll see you

knock the cover off
the ball today, okay?

Come on, blue. Over here.
Let's go.

PLAYERS:
Move, move.

U-G-L-Y, you ain't got
no alibi.

You're ugly.

You're just plain ugly!

U-G-L-Y, you ain't got
no alibi...

Right here.

Hi.

I brought one
into Bendel's last week.

They ordered
a dozen of them.

You make hats?

I didn't know
you made hats.

Yeah, I just got the idea.

I was making these glasses,
and then about a week ago,

the idea just came to me,
like in a dream:

"Hey, why don't I
make hats."

Oh.

[CHEERING]

Everybody go to first
on the infield.

To first on the infield.

Looking good, Ginger.
You are a hot corner.

All right, let's go. Let's see
a little action out there.

Let's hear a little talk.

Gonna play baseball
today?
Oh, yeah.

Oh, listen, I have to do
something with myself.

Two months, I didn't touch
any drugs at all.

Two months, I was
completely clean.

Then this afternoon,
I found myself

in a taxi on my way
to my dealer.

Man, that's New York
for you.

VICTOR:
All right,
let's go, outfield.

MAN:
Hey, Fritz, come on.

MAN 2: That's his thing.
MAN: All right.

On your toes, everybody,
on your toes.

MAN:
Come on, Victor.

Swing, batter.

Yeah!

[CHEERING]

Where's number four?

That's me.

All right, Stash.

Listen, he's got
a lousy curveball,

so just wait for your ball,
okay? Come on.

VICTOR:
All right, let's go.

The play is home.

No outs. The play is home.

MAN:
All right, Stash.

MAN: Let's go.
ELEANOR: Come on, Stash.

MAN 2:
Come on, Stashy, babe.

Come on, gonna
make you look bad.

Let's go.
Swing, batter.

Too high. Too high.

It's a high pitch.
You shouldn't have swung.

Look at that kid.
Isn't he adorable?

ELEANOR: Yeah, I guess.

Remember, don't swing
like this:

Oh, listen to this.
I'm pregnant.

MAN:
Okay, here he goes,
here he goes.

I mean, I'm madly in love,
but, God, it's depressing.

Are you gonna
have the baby?

Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Darryl wants us to.

We're gonna get married,
if his mother will let him.

MAN:
All right, I got his number.

Where is Darryl?

Oh, he's throwing up
somewhere, somewhere
back over here.

The play is still home.
I got you, Stash.

Right here's your ball, baby.

WOMAN: You got it. You got it.

VICTOR:
All right!

Yeah!

All right, that's one.
Now we'll get two,
double play.

Shit!

WOMAN: Give me a C.

Give me a K.
K!

You suck, you suck, you suck.
Go home.

Go home. Come on.

Next time,
go for...

ELEANOR:
I'm ready for that.

I'd like to have a baby.

I had a dream about a baby.

It was a giant baby
with long arms

like a chimpanzee,
but it was cute.

MAN:
Let's go, get this last one.

Eleanor!

I guess it's
a terrible thing to say,

to say you wanna
have a baby.

It means I'm
a regular person.

You barf?
Yeah.

Yeah? You feel better?

Now, remember...
MAN: Bill.

Thank you.

Take your time.
That's my advice.

Take that limey
with you.

Get him out of here.
Bill.

MICKEY:
Wait.
What?

Use my bat.
Good for a girl.

No, that's okay, Mickey.

I like this bat
because I practiced with it.

MAN:
The grass is growing here,
Bill. Come on.

Baby.
Bases are loaded.

VICTOR:
All right, that's two
big ones.

Play is home, play is home.

I got this one, guys.

MAN:
Stay alert, here we go.

Oh, we got a slugger up there,
tell everybody move back.

MAN 2:
Let's go, Eleanor, baby.
Let's go, tiger!

Doesn't look good to me.

MAN 3:
Come on, Eleanor.

All right, we got this one,
easy out.

Hold the man on.

Eleanor, Eleanor.
What?

Come here.

STASH:
Really simple.

Just remember everything
I told you,

put it all together
and don't think about it.

It's simple, just kill it.

But you called me
when the ball was coming.

Eleanor.

MAN:
Thank you very much.

WOMAN:
Come on, baby.

VICTOR:
All right, we got her,
we got her.

Looking good.

All right!

Run!
Eleanor, run!

Bring it home!

STASH: Go!

Yes!

Eleanor.

Gone!

Please, just hear me out.
Listen, you're the only
person--

I can't pose for you.
I'm playing.

How can I find you?
I need to find you, you--

Tag, she's out!

What the hell are you doing?!

Get off her.

[ALL CLAMORING]

What are you,
an animal?

Get off me! Get off me!

You're an animal!
You're an animal!

Excuse me,
ma'am.

Victor,
I liked it very much.

Cute show.
It was really cute.

I'm taking her
and Natasha home.

I'll call you later.
Okay.

So, what time was
this dinner party?

I don't know.

It's 9:00, I think.

I can't believe it.
This place is packed.

ELEANOR:
Stash should be ecstatic.

SAMANTHA:
Yeah.

The work looks great,

but I don't think
they hung it high enough.

God, it's roasting
in here.

Look, we're with
Chuck Dade Dolger.

He's got a car.

You wanna step outside
for a few minutes...
Yeah.

get a little fresh air,
maybe get a glass
of champagne?

DARIA:
They're good,
aren't they?

I told you,
it's all very Japanese.

That's what I believe in,
that's what I like.

How's this interview
going, then?

Very well.
It's going well?

You guys have got
to come and do me.

What happened to your arm?

It was an accident
of love.

Oh.

Check out the back view.

[WOMAN GIGGLES]

WOMAN:
See how it bubbles?

DOLGER:
Oh, sugar, you kill me.

Have all you want.
Here, pass it on.

Yeah. Hi.

DOLGER: Hello, Sam.

This is Eleanor.
Hi.

Percy, press that red button
again, will ya?

See if you can get
this air conditioning working.

I've tried it already,
it doesn't work.

Would you please tell me
what is in this bag?

He just got out
of the hospital.
PERCY: It's garbage.

I was in Bellevue
for 10 days' observation.

Oh, really?
What for?

Oh, don't ask.

I wanna go to all
the gallery openings with you.

I find your comments
on the art to be startling.

[GROANS]
[GASPS]

SAMANTHA:
You look fabulous.

I love you so much.

Mmm. Mm-mm-mm-mm.

[SMOOCHING NOISES]

ELEANOR:
I never saw her before,
is that your friend?

Eh, she thinks we are.

She's only 18,
and she is a bitch.

And she goes out with,
um...Ken,

who shows
at Darryl's gallery.

Oh, oh, oh,
oh, oh.

I gotta pee desperately.
I'm going to the john.

Where's my purse?
I'm gonna come with you.

Oh. Any of you feel like
you're sitting on a bag?

Feel around.

Oh, here it is,
here it is.

ELEANOR:
See you all.
Goodbye. Bye-bye.

DARRYL: Let the girl go.
Are you leaving?

Yeah, I have to go.
Excuse me.

Let the girl go.
So long.

Let the girl go,
man.

[CROWD CHATTERING]

Look at this baby.

Looks like its daddy,
doesn't it?

STASH:
--problem with the gallery
system the way it is.

DARIA:
What do you mean by that?

ELEANOR:
Stash.

It looks good.

First, he gives a discount,
then he takes 50 percent.

Stash, you're the one
doing all the work.

So even if the show sells out,
you don't make any money.

Isn't this great, huh?
Hi.
Yeah.

You see? You see, Stash?
Yeah, pretty nice.

You worry too much.
It's all working out.

SAMANTHA:
You know, I always wondered

doesn't it bother you
the way Stash treats you?

What do you mean?

Maybe I shouldn't
have said anything.

No, that's okay.
You can say what you mean.

At least somebody else
sees the same thing.

I mean, half the time
I think that I'm crazy.

I...

[SIGHS]

I kept thinking that
even though he's mad at me
all the time,

it's better than not
being around him at all.

[CHUCKLES]
Aw, shit.

[SIGHS]

Aw, shit.

Well, look at it this way.

Maybe you'll find
out there are worse things
than being alone.

[CROAKS]
Here, try a little
of this.

No, thanks. I have
enough trouble dealing
with regular reality.

Oh, come on, Eleanor,
he's ridiculous.

I mean, isn't Stash
the guy who used to

go around sawing the legs
off furniture in public places

and calling it conceptual art?

[LAUGHS]
Yeah.

You know, what kind of
jerk does that?

There
you are.

I'm gonna go pour
some ice cream over
that little bastard's head.

Where did you get
that ice cream, Darryl?

From the freezer.

ELEANOR:
Who you pouring
ice cream on? Stash?

Oh, please, please.

He is made at Fenton Fazidae.
He discovered Fenton.

Fenton was selling tokens
at a booth in the subway.

As soon as Fenton
got to be a big success,

he went to Victor's gallery.

Please.

Ooh!

Is it your apartment
or his?

His.

But that's not
the point.

See you later,
Samantha.

[CROWD CHATTERING]

Why don't you stop
and let the poor girl alone?

She looks lovely
in pink.

I've got to
have one.

WOMAN:
Is that your tag?
Is that what they call it?

I can get
you next.

WOMAN:
Oh, wow. Great.

Do my shoe.
I want one just like it.

Um, why don't you go ahead?
I've gotta lock up.

I made the reservation
in my name.

See ya.
Bye.

Hi, Daria, how's your dog?

Is it
all right?

I don't have a dog.

You don't have a dog?

Oh, isn't that something.

Because Stash said you and he
were walking your
dog one night

when it was attacked
by a cheetah.

That's right,
a cheetah.

Oh, shit.

Thank you, Daria.

STASH:
Eleanor,
where are you going?

Taxi! Taxi!

I'm overreacting?

What's the matter?

You're not gonna
faint again, are you?

Every time you don't
get enough attention.

No, I'm not going to faint.
I've had it with you.

You wrecked
everything. You!

Not me. I'm sick of
having to say I'm sorry

[SOBS]
every second of my existence.

How much did you
have to drink?

You've took
something,

and you crumbled it up,

and you spit on it.

What?!

There's
something

missing from you, Stash.

You know nothing
about loyalty.

You don't have
any feelings.

You don't care anything
about anybody.

You're-- You're...

stunted, and you're shallow.

Abridged,
as if...

your tentacles had
been cut off at
the wrist. Taxi!

Eleanor.
Taxi!

[SOBS]

Eleanor.

Eleanor!

[CHUCKLES]

[SPEAKS JAPANESE]

Yes.

Good. Great

[BOTH SPEAK JAPANESE]

Good luck, and we'll
see you again.

Thank you.

[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

I never got a chance
to show you my work.

And I'd love it,
if...

you're free,
if you'd come over...

later on.

MAN:
The bathrooms
are adjoining.

Our apartments
are side by side.

I think you'd love
the basement.

No, I don't wanna
share a bathroom.

How about a banana?
I got a nice bunch
of bananas.

I don't want a banana.

How about a beer?

Hey, come on,
talk it over.

A cup of tea with some honey,
something like that.

[SIREN WAILING IN DISTANCE]

The one on the left.

I'll take it.

Are you sure?

[WATER DRIPPING]

I'm sure.

Listen, if you don't want it,
I have 70 people who do.

I want it.

Maybe you ought to think
about it. Come back later.

I'll take it.

It's nice.

[MANDOLIN PLAYING
POIGNANT MELODY]

MAN:
Five dollars.

Hey.
Hey.

You want a cup of coffee
or something?

Uh, no, thanks.

Look, I gotta
get back to work.

I don't have
a lot of time, so...

Oh, okay,
you wanna see it.

MAN 2:
I live with you.
I wouldn't take $5 from you.

So...uh...

[MEN ARGUING INDISTINCTLY]

Cap. This is called
Turkish Delight.

And, uh...

MAN:
You sleep with
my ex-girlfriend--

MAN:
Just give me
my five dollars back!

MAN 2:
What? I can't believe--
You sleaze.

This...

--my money out of my pocket
when I'm trying to sleep!

Turkey in the Straw,
and, uh...

How can I trust somebody
who doesn't have
the respect to...

...this one--
I'll put it on for you.

This is Santa Claus
Goes to Russia.

Man, these are really cool.

So you wanna make some
for my show?

You're kidding. Seriously?

Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, they go
with the collection.

Fantastic.

Um...but, um...

don't you think
they're kind of falling apart?

That's what
I like about them.

You just make the samples,
okay?

I mean, we got people
to make 'em, you know.

Well, look, I really gotta
get going, so, uh...

just stop by the offices
tomorrow if you wanna do it.

All right?

Uh, but there's
just one thing. I...

I, uh, make these hats out of
stuff I find in the garbage,

and, um...

I'm totally broke.

Oh, yeah? It's all right,
I can give you some
money tomorrow.

Just tell me how much
you need, all right?

Ooh-ooh!

Wow!

[THE EURYTHMICS'
"I NEED A MAN" PLAYING]

I don't care if you won't
Talk to me

You know I'm not
That kind of girl

[CONTINUING OVER SPEAKERS]
And I don't care if you won't
Walk with me

It don't give me
Such a thrill

And I don't care about
The way you look

You should know
I'm not impressed

'Cause there's just one thing
That I'm lookin' for

And he don't wear a dress

I need a man

I need a man

I need a man

I need a man

Baby, baby, baby
Don't shave your legs

Don't you double-comb
Your hair

Don't powder puff
Just leave it rough

I like your fingers bare

When the night comes down
I can turn it round

I can take you anywhere

Hi!

Oh, look. That one over there
is just so amazing.

[IGGY POP'S "FALL IN LOVE
WITH ME" PLAYING]

Fall in love with me

I wish you would

Fall in love with me

I wish you would

Fall in love with me

I wish you would

Fall in love with me

[INAUDIBLE]

Hi!

Oh!

The way your eyes are black

The way your hair is black

The way your heart is young

There's just a few like you

Just the kind I need

To fall in love with me

Oh, and you look so good

Oh, yes, you look so good

A bottle of white wine

Stop. Wait a minute.

That looks great.

You've got on
the wrong hat.

You're supposed to be wearing

the hat that looks
like your jacket.

White wine and you

I wish you'd
Fall in love with me

I wish you'd
Fall in love with me

'Cause there's
Just a few like you

So young and real

[APPLAUSE]

[SPECTATORS CHEERING]

[PUBLIC IMAGE, LTD.'S
"WARRIOR" PLAYING]

[APPLAUSE & CHEERING]

Whoo!

Fields they have eyes
Woods they have ears

Fish always sink
Headfirst downward

I'll never dismount
I ride this tiger

Crosses are ladders
Leading to heaven

Yeah!

I'm a warrior

I take no prisoners

MONA:
So your stuff was
really great in the show.

Do you have any extras
for your friends?

Your stuff was
simply beautiful.

I've been trying to get
Wilfredo to look at my
jewelry for years.

What you are doing
is genius.

[HORN BLARING]

[TIRES SCREECHING]

[HORN HONKS, WOMEN SCREAM]

Jesus.

Stash!

What are you
doing here?

I was at the show.

I-- I didn't realize
you were still making hats.

Yeah.

people are gonna start
buying hats, but...

So how are you?

I...miss you.

You know, it's funny,
the other week I was watching

this episode of this new show
The Mating Game.

So they asked this woman,

"On what basis do you know
if someone's right for you?"

And so she goes,
"There are four categories:

spiritual, physical,
intellectual and emotional."

Stash, I gotta go.
My friends are waiting for me.

So then I realized,

no wonder it could never work
between the two of us.

We were only compatible
in two of the four categories.

Which two?

Intellectual and physical.

You're...a...jerk!

What kind of a man bases
the merits of his relationship

on something some woman said
on some old TV show?

Hey, I was gonna offer
to let you come back

if you could change yourself
in the other categories,
but...

you're really sick.

I thought I was sick,
but you're really sick.

Yeah.

Isn't that just
too bad?

Why don't you just
go home and sulk.

I'm not gonna go
home and sulk.
You go home and sulk.

You go sulk.

The only one of his
I really liked

was that one with Marat
keeled over in the bathtub.

That's a great
political painting.

It's not great
because of politics.

It's great because
of human drama.

How can you say that?

Listen, you don't think
art can be great

unless it assumes
political--

Because I'm trying
to say something,

unlike you who just
pisses on canvas.

I piss on canvas?

Get us some more drinks.

[MAN SPEAKING IN ITALIAN
OVER LOUDSPEAKER]

Marley, you're gonna
miss your plane.

MAN [OVER PA]:
Alitalia flight 412 to Rome...

Oh, shit.
I gotta run.

Hey man,
I owe you some bucks.

Oh, forget it.

Here, it's on
Chuck Dade Dolger.

[SIGHS]

Look, Sherman,
I gotta tell you...

I slept with Daria.

I know. She told me.

Well...

I knew you knew.

[MAN SPEAKING IN ITALIAN
OVER LOUDSPEAKER]

Hey, Marley, be cool.

See you later.

I don't believe this.

"The mindless scrawl
of a Neanderthal."

The guy calls me
a Neanderthal?

Daria.
That's good.

Where's Marley?
Good?

He left.

Are you
kidding?

Hey, we could be
in Russia

where they commonly
knock on your door,

and they take you
and shoot you.

See, Victor, that's what I'm
trying to talk to you about,

your attitude.

Get on the plane
with him?
My attitude?

Why don't you come to me
with your problems?

You go out complaining

-to all your little
girlfriends.
-Got a light?

This doesn't make me
look good.

But he called me
a Neanderthal.

Stash...
let me tell you.

The only reason
they reviewed you...
How are you?

...is because
I took out an ad.

VICTOR: It's a compliment.

You're thinking like a child.

I can't help
but be critical of you...

You're kidding.
That's great.

...when I can see so clearly
what's wrong with you.

But underneath
it all,

let me tell you,
is the feeling of love.

So, what are you
doing tonight?

So who's your date
gonna be for your opening?

I don't wanna be alone.

STASH:
Wanna get a bite to eat?

Thanks.
Maybe stop at the Gulag.

I'm kinda seeing
someone right now.

Where's Eleanor?
What happened?

But, hey, I can show
my dealer your slides.

She's okay.

O ruddier than the cherry
O sweeter than the berry

O ruddier than the cherry
O sweeter than the berry

O nymph more bright
Than moonshine night

Like kidlings blithe
And merry

[DOG BARKING]

O nymph more bright
Than moonshine night

Like kidlings blithe
And merry

[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

Hi.

Oh, hi, Eleanor.

Our wives went to
a baby shower,

and we're taking care
of the kids.

Ah.

You know Max,
don't you?

Yeah, sure. Hi.

It's not mine.
It's my niece.

She's cute.

Michael.

So, uh, how are you,
Eleanor?

Well, aside from a hangover,
things are great.

I mean, I have my own
apartment and my hats.

It's nice.

Oh, thanks.

We went to see Goldilocks
and the Three Bears.

Oh.

Did you enjoy it,
my little one?

Fine,
thank you.

[CHUCKLES]

I'm on my way
to buy groceries.

I'm giving a wild party
tonight.

I'm celebrating
being single

and successful.

You guys wanna come?

Yeah, wild party. Why not?

MAX: Yeah, I have nothing
to do.
-Okay, great.

121 Mulberry around 9:00.
The name's on the buzzer.

Great.

MAX:
I'll be there
with a bib on.

Bye.

CHOIR:
Hallelujah, hallelujah
Hallelujah

WOMAN:
Hallelujah
King of kings

CHORUS:
Hallelujah, hallelujah
Hallelujah

MALE SINGERS:
Our Lord God
Omnipotent reigneth

Andrew.

Andrew!

MAN:
My salami sandwich.

My lunch.

God, I'm sorry.

Your dog ate my lunch.

Come here, come here.

I'm such a mess.

I was out last night
celebrating,

and I have
a terrible hangover.

[BARKS]
What do you want?

Is that what you want?
Is that what you want?

Anxiety. I keep worrying
about this party
I'm giving later on.

Oh, what are you
planning to serve?

Oh, I don't know,
it's something made with

Velveeta cheese
and jalapeño peppers.

Did you train your dog
to do that?

Oh, gee,
I'm sorry. Thanks.

Well, why don't you
let me carry these?

I mean, you can't handle
the dog and bags.

Let me carry it.
I'll walk with you.

I feel terrible
he ate your lunch.

It's okay. I was just
playing hooky from work

so I could ride
my motorcycle.

My name's Jan.

This is Andrew.

Hello, Andrew.

What do you do?

I sell racehorse semen.

[LAUGHS]
No, you--

Yeah, I do, seriously.

I do. It's--
The money is great and...

Well... So, what were you
celebrating last night?

Oh, I design hats,

and they were in a show,
and they were a big success,

so I had to drink
too much.

I'm not used to
being a success.

I hate value judgments.
It makes me nervous.

Did you make that hat?

Yeah.

It's very-- It's--
I like it. It's unusual.

-Yeah?
-It's very unusual.

It's really different.

Is it?

Flowers and butterflies,
it's nice.

Yeah.
Bird, butterfly...

Look...

would you like to come
to my party later, 9:00?

Yeah, sure.
Really?

Yeah, why not?

Great.

[SIREN WAILING IN DISTANCE]

[RATTLING]

[FOOD PROCESSOR
CONTINUES RATTLING]

[BUZZER RINGS]

[BUZZER RINGS]

[BUZZER RINGS]

[BUZZER RINGS]

-Oh, Wilfredo,
you saved my life.
-Hey.

Thanks for coming.

You brought a friend.

Hi. Hi, come on in.

Please have a good time.
It's the happy hour.
It's true.

Oh, hi, Sherman.
Hello.

Thanks for coming.
I know I called at
short notice, but--

I brought this for you.

Eleanor, darling.
Simon.

Happy housewarming.

Yes, I did. For you.
Oh, thank you, champagne.

Oh, hi, Darryl.
Come on in.

Thanks for coming.

Hi. Hi.
Hi.
Hi.

Did you--?
Come in.

Don't you wanna come in?
Come on in.

Thank you
very much.

Oh, is that for me?

Oh, thank you.

-Thank you. Look what
I brought.
-Oh, good.

Look at all
these people.

Yeah.
Oh, look.

The boys.
The band.

I don't know what to....
Maybe they're gonna like it.

SHERMAN:
Wow, that's a cool
blender, Eleanor.

Yeah, I know.

Wilfredo, can
you fix this?

I'm not good
with mechanical
objects, Eleanor.

It's like that little thing
in Star Wars.

When are the girls
gonna get here?

Come here, come here.

What's going on?
Here you go.

[BUZZES]
[YELLS]

I'm cooking.

[KNOCKING
ON DOOR]

ELEANOR:
Abby.

Abby, come on out
and meet Kyoshi.

He's gorgeous, he's humble,
he's heterosexual.

He's in television.

I can't.
I'm frightened.

I'm the type of guest who
likes to lurk in the bathroom.

You're the only other woman
here besides me.

What happened to the others?

I didn't invite them.

[PLAYING WILD ROCK]

SHERMAN:
We were drinking vodka,

then we had some sake
and then some sushi

and then some hash,
then some beer.

And then she threw up
in the back of my car.

[CHUCKLES]

Yeah, and then she probably
went to her friends

and complained about
what you did to her.

Who cleaned it up,
anyway?

We're gonna play
Trivial Pursuit later.

[SPEAKS JAPANESE]

You want something to eat?

[BUZZER RINGS]

Uh, no, somebody's in there.
Abby, come on out.

Hi, how are you?

Hi. O...kay.

Do come in.

I hope you weren't
planning on moving in.

It's rather crowded
in here already.

My girlfriend threw me out
this afternoon,

so I thought I'd stop by
before I check into a hotel.

Oh!

[BLENDER RATTLING]

Have some cheap
white wine.

What's that noise?

My life.

Look at this thing!

It's dancing.

Got it.

[BLENDER WHIRRING]

[WHIRRING STOPS]

Thanks.

Little caffeine...

Great.

That's terrific.
I mean...

you can really...

fix things.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Um, I can't wait until
this is over, and I can

genuinely enjoy myself.

What do you mean?

Well, um, this is fun,

but I find fun
very traumatizing.

In some ways, it's more fun
for me not to have fun.

[BUZZER RINGS]

having fun is almost identical
to feeling anxious. Excuse me.

ELEANOR: Hi, guys.
How are you?
ANDREW: Oh.

Where's Mona and Suzanne?
I thought you'd bring them.

Oh, we didn't think you
wanted us to bring our wives.

Come on in.

Yeah. Hey,
how you doing?

[KNOCKS ON DOOR]

ELEANOR:
Ab.

What are
you doing?

Listen to this.

"To make a man
fall in love with you,

"you should do two things:

"One, use visual language,
like...

"'It looks like we're gonna
have a lot of fun tonight.'

And also by mirroring."

Yeah?
What's that?

Mirroring is like, if you go
out to dinner with him,

and you're sitting at a table,

and he puts his chin
in his hand,

then you should do
the same thing.

What, you mean
like this?

Yeah.

I gotta go, Eleanor.

Abby, don't go.

Well, thanks for the party.

Ohhh. Mmm-mwah.

Bye.
Bye.

[PLAYING
MELLOW MELODY]

Wilfredo, you're
a doll for coming.

All right. Thanks.

Bye, guys. Thanks.
Thanks a lot.

[MEN SINGING DRUNKENLY
IN JAPANESE]

Thank you.
Take care.

Are you all right?

[SPEAKS IN JAPANESE]

Oh, no, no, no,
no, no, no.

You should keep that hat.
I gave that to you.

[ALL SPEAK IN JAPANESE]

Bye.

Be careful
driving, now.

Remind me never
to do this again.

[SIGHS]

I think it would've been
easier on me

if I had someone to share
the responsibility with,

a boyfriend,
but...

I'm starting to think
I'll never meet anybody.

Let me tell you
something.

You don't have to
be so desperate.

Yeah?

Well, let me tell you
something.

I was just as desperate
when I had a boyfriend.

She doesn't like value
judgments placed on her.

Thank you.
Right?

Yeah.

Right.

Ahhh. Well...

thank God that's over.

ANDREW:
What exactly had you hoped
to accomplish, Eleanor?

It was a party.

ELEANOR:
Say, where was
Mona tonight?

ANDREW:
I told her I didn't
want her to come.

I've been getting this really
strong intuitive feeling

that I should be going out
alone more right now.

I wonder why, then,
you spend so much time
with Fritz.

Obviously, it isn't that
you wanna be alone,

you just don't wanna
be with her.

Excuse me,
I'm drunk.

I think
I miss Stash.

Did I do anything
terrible tonight?

No, you didn't do
anything wrong.

No worse than
anybody else.

I know it.

Part of me knows it
and the other part of me

berates myself
constantly for--

JAN:
Well, just stop.

You never get from
a relationship

what you think you will.

Ever.

So, um...

it's impossible, then?

Probably.

Come on.

Let's go for a ride.

On your motorcycle?

Why not?

ELEANOR:
Bye, Andrew.

[DOOR SHUTS]

[HOOVES GALLOPING]

[HORSE NEIGHS]

[BOY GEORGE'S "GIRLFRIEND"
PLAYING]

Ooh-whoa, oh

Ooh, ooh, ooh-whoa

Ah, ooh-whoa

Girlfriend

Ooh, ooh, ooh-whoa

I came in here tonight
Just like all of you

Lookin' for some fun
Somethin' nice to do

Yeah, somethin' nice to do

I get the feelin'
You must be screamin'

Your love is walkin' away

Ooh, ooh, ooh-whoa

I get the feelin'
You must be screamin'

But I just wanted to say
Yeah

Girlfriend

Everybody needs a

Boyfriend

'Cause when you got a

Boyfriend

Ah-oh

You've got something else
To do

I'm throwin' down tonight
Just like all of you

I'm lookin' for some fun
Nothing left to lose

No, nothin' left to lose

Nothin' left to lose

I get the feelin'
You must be screamin'

Your love is walkin' away

Ooh, ooh, ooh-whoa

I get the feelin'
You must be screamin'

But I just wanted to say
Yeah

Girlfriend

Everybody needs a

Boyfriend

'Cause when you got a

Boyfriend

Uh-oh

You got something else
To do

If you wanna keep your man

Be a devil if you have to

Hold on to him, girl

There are those that will
Defeat you

There are others that will
Leave you dry

Take your love

And wrap it around the first
Sucker that you meet

Ooh, ooh-whoa

Go on, girl

What's the matter, honey?
Did your neck throw up?

I get the feelin'
You must be screamin'

Your love is walkin' away

I get the feelin'
You must be screamin'

But I just wanted to say
Yeah

Girlfriend

Everybody needs a

Boyfriend

'Cause when you've got a

Boyfriend

Uh-oh

You got something else
To do

People don't like that

Girlfriend

Everybody needs a

Boyfriend

'Cause when you got a

Boyfriend

You got something else
To do

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
Ooh-whoa

Ooh, ooh, ooh-whoa

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
Ooh, ooh-whoa

Ah, ah, ah, whoa

Ah, ah, ah, oh, oh, oh

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
Ooh, ooh-whoa

Ooh, ooh, ooh

Ah, ah, ah, oh, oh, oh

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
Ooh, ooh-whoa

Ah, ah, ah, oh, oh, oh

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
Ooh, ooh-whoa

Ah, ah, ah, oh, oh, oh

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
Ooh, ooh-whoa

Ah, ah, ah, oh, oh, oh...