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1
00:00:03,837 --> 00:00:05,003
Mornin', Fran.
2
00:00:05,105 --> 00:00:07,372
Good morning, Earl.
I made you pancakes.
3
00:00:07,474 --> 00:00:10,008
No time for breakfast.
I'm late for work already.
4
00:00:10,110 --> 00:00:11,910
- You don't have to go to work.
- Huh?
5
00:00:12,012 --> 00:00:13,512
What?!
6
00:00:13,614 --> 00:00:15,247
You don't have to go to work.
7
00:00:15,349 --> 00:00:18,416
No, no. Tell me why.
8
00:00:18,518 --> 00:00:20,886
Because it's... the weekend.
9
00:00:20,988 --> 00:00:23,088
H-Hey! Isn't it great?
10
00:00:23,190 --> 00:00:26,291
I love to fool myself that
way. Let's do it again.
11
00:00:26,393 --> 00:00:27,770
- Earl...
- Morning, Fran.
12
00:00:27,794 --> 00:00:29,306
Earl, I don't
have time for this.
13
00:00:29,330 --> 00:00:31,663
I've got a million things
to do this weekend.
14
00:00:31,765 --> 00:00:35,200
As do I. I've got a full schedule
of vigorous sporting activities.
15
00:00:35,302 --> 00:00:37,970
Mountain biking, fly
fishing, a little volleyball,
16
00:00:38,072 --> 00:00:39,604
some cross-country skiing.
17
00:00:39,706 --> 00:00:41,406
Guess I better get started.
18
00:00:41,508 --> 00:00:42,985
Hey!
19
00:00:43,009 --> 00:00:45,711
Back with more thrilling
mountain bike action.
20
00:00:45,812 --> 00:00:48,547
Big hill coming up.
I'd better carbo load.
21
00:00:48,649 --> 00:00:50,548
Bring on the pancakes.
22
00:00:50,651 --> 00:00:53,184
- Good morning, everyone.
- Morning.
23
00:00:53,286 --> 00:00:56,722
Mother, look at you!
That dress is beautiful.
24
00:00:56,824 --> 00:00:59,157
Don't you think she
looks lovely, Earl?
25
00:00:59,259 --> 00:01:01,226
Oh, yeah, very lifelike.
26
00:01:01,328 --> 00:01:03,194
I'm gonna ignore that
27
00:01:03,296 --> 00:01:07,065
because this day is a
very special day for me,
28
00:01:07,167 --> 00:01:11,169
and no one can dampen
my effervescent spirits,
29
00:01:11,271 --> 00:01:14,773
not even you, you
walking garbage heap.
30
00:01:14,875 --> 00:01:16,041
Oh, special day, Ethyl?
31
00:01:16,143 --> 00:01:18,776
What is it, got your
teeth in on the first try?
32
00:01:18,879 --> 00:01:22,881
Today Mother is going to
her 60th high school reunion.
33
00:01:22,983 --> 00:01:24,483
And the best part of it is
34
00:01:24,585 --> 00:01:27,619
it's a whole weekend
away from you, fat boy.
35
00:01:27,721 --> 00:01:29,354
Oh, I can top that.
36
00:01:29,456 --> 00:01:31,100
It's a whole weekend
away from you.
37
00:01:31,124 --> 00:01:33,224
So how you gettin' there?
38
00:01:33,326 --> 00:01:35,638
They calling you a cab
or sending you a hearse?
39
00:01:35,662 --> 00:01:38,530
Actually, Earl, that's what I
wanted to talk to you about.
40
00:01:38,632 --> 00:01:40,966
Mother's reunion is
too far away for a cab,
41
00:01:41,067 --> 00:01:44,436
and I have so much to do
today I can't possibly take her.
42
00:01:44,538 --> 00:01:47,406
And since you have
the whole weekend free,
43
00:01:47,507 --> 00:01:50,141
I thought you could.
44
00:01:51,611 --> 00:01:54,045
Oh, no! Absolutely not!
45
00:01:54,147 --> 00:01:56,581
No way on Earth
and that is final!
46
00:01:56,683 --> 00:01:58,383
Ah.
47
00:02:02,422 --> 00:02:04,056
Uh-oh.
48
00:02:04,158 --> 00:02:05,891
- It's too fast.
- Ow!
49
00:02:05,993 --> 00:02:08,193
You're driving too fast.
50
00:02:08,295 --> 00:02:11,629
I don't like it
when it's too fast.
51
00:02:11,731 --> 00:02:15,934
Would you let me get
out of the driveway? Jeez!
52
00:02:46,566 --> 00:02:48,833
Honey, I'm home.
53
00:02:54,475 --> 00:02:55,941
Aaah!
54
00:02:57,544 --> 00:02:58,988
- Ohh!
- Ow!
55
00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:01,613
- Ow!
- Ooh!
56
00:03:01,715 --> 00:03:03,315
Aah!
57
00:03:13,226 --> 00:03:14,993
Uh...
58
00:03:15,095 --> 00:03:16,662
Are you sure this is wise, Mom?
59
00:03:16,764 --> 00:03:20,143
I mean, Dad and Grandma in an
enclosed space together for six hours.
60
00:03:20,167 --> 00:03:22,801
From a ventilation
standpoint that could get nasty.
61
00:03:22,903 --> 00:03:25,871
I'm sure they'll be fine. We
have important things to do today.
62
00:03:25,973 --> 00:03:29,474
That's right. Mindy and I are
going rollerblading at the beach.
63
00:03:29,576 --> 00:03:31,654
I got to go to the
junior class car wash.
64
00:03:31,678 --> 00:03:33,445
I've got to crawl
around on the floor
65
00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:35,347
and look for things
to put in my mouth.
66
00:03:35,449 --> 00:03:37,449
- See ya. Gotta go.
- See ya.
67
00:03:37,551 --> 00:03:38,928
- Hold it!
- Huh?
68
00:03:38,952 --> 00:03:40,518
Nobody's going anywhere.
69
00:03:40,620 --> 00:03:43,588
I got your father out of the
house for a specific reason.
70
00:03:43,690 --> 00:03:45,301
We're gonna move
and not tell him?
71
00:03:45,325 --> 00:03:48,026
No. His birthday's
coming up next month.
72
00:03:48,128 --> 00:03:50,896
I thought it would be nice
to give him a photo portrait
73
00:03:50,998 --> 00:03:54,265
of his loving family
as a surprise present.
74
00:03:54,367 --> 00:03:56,012
Yay, presents!
75
00:03:56,036 --> 00:03:57,302
What do I get?
76
00:03:57,404 --> 00:03:59,637
You all get the
satisfaction that comes
77
00:03:59,739 --> 00:04:01,984
with doing something
special for your father.
78
00:04:02,008 --> 00:04:04,342
You're kidding, right?
79
00:04:04,444 --> 00:04:07,746
No. We need to get ready. The
photographer will be here soon.
80
00:04:07,848 --> 00:04:10,449
Forget it, Mom. There's a
new lifeguard at the beach.
81
00:04:10,551 --> 00:04:12,917
Mindy and I have to skate
by and hide and giggle.
82
00:04:13,019 --> 00:04:14,931
I don't see how
we can get out of it.
83
00:04:14,955 --> 00:04:16,388
And I gotta go to that car wash.
84
00:04:16,490 --> 00:04:18,690
They put me in charge
of accidentally spilling
85
00:04:18,792 --> 00:04:19,824
sudsy water on the girls.
86
00:04:19,926 --> 00:04:21,660
- Quite an honor.
- Darn right.
87
00:04:21,762 --> 00:04:24,529
Too bad. After all your
father has done for us,
88
00:04:24,631 --> 00:04:27,198
a simple family portrait
is the least we can do.
89
00:04:27,300 --> 00:04:29,133
No, Mom, I'm sure
we can do less.
90
00:04:29,235 --> 00:04:30,980
Yeah. There's always nothing.
91
00:04:31,004 --> 00:04:32,537
We're going to do this.
92
00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:34,684
Now I want you to
march right upstairs
93
00:04:34,708 --> 00:04:36,419
and put on your dressy clothes.
94
00:04:36,443 --> 00:04:38,276
No, not the wool blazer!
95
00:04:38,378 --> 00:04:41,179
Not the dorky blouse
with the poofy sleeves!
96
00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:43,648
Not the sailor suit!
97
00:04:43,750 --> 00:04:46,350
Aaaaaah!
98
00:04:51,491 --> 00:04:56,494
♪ Tie a yellow ribbon
'round the old oak tree
99
00:04:56,596 --> 00:04:59,297
♪ It's been three long years
100
00:04:59,399 --> 00:05:01,633
♪ Do you still want me?
101
00:05:01,735 --> 00:05:03,068
I'm not gonna make it.
102
00:05:03,169 --> 00:05:07,539
♪ If I don't see a ribbon
'round the old oak tree
103
00:05:07,641 --> 00:05:10,975
♪ I'll stay on the
bus Forget about us
104
00:05:11,077 --> 00:05:13,245
♪ And put the blame on me
105
00:05:13,346 --> 00:05:15,847
♪ If I don't see a ribbon
106
00:05:15,949 --> 00:05:22,487
♪ 'Round the old oak tree ♪
107
00:05:22,589 --> 00:05:25,523
And that's the
end of that number.
108
00:05:25,625 --> 00:05:27,993
- Hey, there's more.
- No, there's not.
109
00:05:28,095 --> 00:05:30,528
- Yes, there is.
- Radio's broken.
110
00:05:30,630 --> 00:05:32,397
- No, it isn't.
- Yes, it is.
111
00:05:32,499 --> 00:05:34,866
No, it isn't. What?
112
00:05:34,968 --> 00:05:38,214
And if you don't keep your yap
shut you'll be next out the window.
113
00:05:38,238 --> 00:05:40,938
- Oh, yeah?
- Ow! Aah!
114
00:05:41,040 --> 00:05:43,252
Oh, you old bat!
Give me that cane!
115
00:05:43,276 --> 00:05:45,677
How dare you raise your
arm to a defenseless old lady?
116
00:05:48,048 --> 00:05:49,814
Watch where you're going!
117
00:05:49,916 --> 00:05:52,917
Oh, that was too
close, too close.
118
00:05:53,020 --> 00:05:56,354
You idiot! Are you drunk?
119
00:05:56,456 --> 00:05:58,957
That's it.
120
00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:03,895
OK, Ethyl,
121
00:06:03,997 --> 00:06:07,365
we are gonna be in this
car together for a long time.
122
00:06:07,467 --> 00:06:10,267
So I think the sensible
thing for us to do
123
00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:11,836
is to clear the air.
124
00:06:15,141 --> 00:06:17,008
- I hate you.
- What?
125
00:06:17,110 --> 00:06:18,843
I hate being related to you,
126
00:06:18,945 --> 00:06:22,647
and I hate having to drive you
to your ghoulish, horrible reunion.
127
00:06:22,749 --> 00:06:26,117
Well, I didn't ask you to drive.
128
00:06:26,219 --> 00:06:28,086
The only reason
I'm willing to sit here
129
00:06:28,188 --> 00:06:31,255
and stare at the back of
your fat head for eight hours
130
00:06:31,357 --> 00:06:33,792
is 'cause this reunion's
important to me.
131
00:06:33,894 --> 00:06:36,895
These are my oldest
and dearest friends.
132
00:06:36,997 --> 00:06:39,664
Hah! They're my real family.
133
00:06:39,766 --> 00:06:41,799
They're the ones
that care about me.
134
00:06:41,901 --> 00:06:44,235
Oh, yeah? Then why
don't you go live with them?
135
00:06:44,337 --> 00:06:45,470
I might!
136
00:06:45,572 --> 00:06:48,406
My old girlfriends
Dorothy, Rose and Blanche
137
00:06:48,508 --> 00:06:51,243
been begging me for years
to come move in with 'em,
138
00:06:51,345 --> 00:06:53,311
and I'm about ready to do it.
139
00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:56,815
Whoa! Well, let's get you
there as soon as we can.
140
00:06:56,917 --> 00:07:01,953
Oh, to think I could be
driving home tonight by myself.
141
00:07:02,055 --> 00:07:04,289
- Shut up.
- You shut up.
142
00:07:04,391 --> 00:07:07,392
♪ Tie a yellow ribbon
'round the old oak tree...
143
00:07:09,029 --> 00:07:11,896
I'm not listening,
I'm not listening.
144
00:07:11,998 --> 00:07:14,032
I'm not listening.
145
00:07:18,505 --> 00:07:21,105
We have a number of
photographic backgrounds available.
146
00:07:21,208 --> 00:07:24,676
This one is very
popular: The county fair.
147
00:07:24,778 --> 00:07:26,978
Voilà!
148
00:07:27,080 --> 00:07:28,980
- Ah.
- I see.
149
00:07:29,082 --> 00:07:30,648
Isn't it a little busy?
150
00:07:30,750 --> 00:07:34,218
Wanna eat cotton candy, wanna
go on rides, wanna throw up.
151
00:07:34,321 --> 00:07:37,455
What an adorable little moppet.
152
00:07:37,557 --> 00:07:41,793
Here, sonny. Don't
eat it. It's a prop.
153
00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:48,333
Yummy! Gimme more props!
154
00:07:48,435 --> 00:07:50,601
Oh, my.
155
00:07:50,703 --> 00:07:53,270
Oh, there they are.
156
00:07:53,373 --> 00:07:55,874
Don't you look so grown-up.
157
00:07:55,976 --> 00:07:58,443
Mom, I'm dressed
like a four-year-old.
158
00:07:58,545 --> 00:08:01,212
- I think this jacket's
gotten small.
- Oh, it's fine.
159
00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:02,614
You look very handsome.
160
00:08:02,715 --> 00:08:04,749
I'm losing the
feeling in my fingers.
161
00:08:04,851 --> 00:08:08,919
OK, now, this is the proper
setting for the Sinclair family:
162
00:08:09,022 --> 00:08:11,356
A day at the beach.
163
00:08:11,924 --> 00:08:13,491
- Huh?
- Ha ha!
164
00:08:13,593 --> 00:08:15,627
Better use your sunscreen.
165
00:08:15,728 --> 00:08:18,896
- Well, I'm not sure.
- Oh, it's going to be perfect.
166
00:08:18,998 --> 00:08:22,066
- OK, now.
- You wanted to go to the beach.
167
00:08:22,168 --> 00:08:24,102
Ah... ah... Yes!
168
00:08:24,204 --> 00:08:26,537
Now that's a portrait.
169
00:08:26,639 --> 00:08:29,307
Uh, excuse me, but why am I
wearing a wool jacket at the beach?
170
00:08:29,409 --> 00:08:33,778
Look, I don't see why we have to
do this stupid family portrait anyway.
171
00:08:33,880 --> 00:08:37,014
We're doing it to show your father
how much we love each other.
172
00:08:37,116 --> 00:08:40,785
You mean the tremendous love
we have for each other in general?
173
00:08:40,887 --> 00:08:42,853
- Yeesh.
- Or the overwhelming affection
174
00:08:42,956 --> 00:08:44,934
we feel for each
other right now?
175
00:08:44,958 --> 00:08:46,857
Just shut up and
let's get this over with.
176
00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:49,928
- You shut up, blazer boy!
- I'm hungry!
177
00:08:50,030 --> 00:08:52,497
OK, we're very close.
Hold still, everybody,
178
00:08:52,599 --> 00:08:54,366
and say "cheese."
179
00:08:54,468 --> 00:08:56,835
Oh, cheese. I want cheese now!
180
00:08:56,937 --> 00:08:59,404
Excuse me, that's for me.
181
00:08:59,506 --> 00:09:02,340
- Come back here.
- Come on! Give me cheese now!
182
00:09:02,442 --> 00:09:05,176
- You go get it!
- Get it yourself.
183
00:09:05,278 --> 00:09:06,877
Ow!
184
00:09:06,979 --> 00:09:09,614
- Give me that shovel!
- Robbie, stop that!
185
00:09:09,716 --> 00:09:13,551
- He hit me right in the face.
- It was for you,
Robbie. Some girl.
186
00:09:13,653 --> 00:09:16,788
- I told her you were
at the beach.
- You what?!
187
00:09:29,602 --> 00:09:32,503
I told you you should've
turned off five miles back.
188
00:09:32,605 --> 00:09:36,374
- Now we're lost.
- We are not lost.
189
00:09:36,476 --> 00:09:37,842
According to this map,
190
00:09:37,944 --> 00:09:41,112
we've wandered completely
out of known civilization.
191
00:09:41,214 --> 00:09:45,250
We've passed the mysterious
gorge, and the river of blood,
192
00:09:45,352 --> 00:09:48,586
and now we're
deep in the heart of...
193
00:09:48,688 --> 00:09:52,623
the valley of the roosters.
194
00:09:52,726 --> 00:09:54,192
What?
195
00:09:55,829 --> 00:09:58,629
Your eyes are shot.
Let me see that map.
196
00:10:01,301 --> 00:10:04,001
Valley of the roosters.
197
00:10:04,103 --> 00:10:07,872
Oh, here we are, and it's
not "valley of the roosters."
198
00:10:07,974 --> 00:10:10,875
It's valley of the
monsters. Monsters.
199
00:10:10,977 --> 00:10:15,013
Doesn't even
sound like roosters.
200
00:10:17,684 --> 00:10:19,084
Oh.
201
00:10:23,757 --> 00:10:27,058
See any, uh, roosters out there?
202
00:10:27,160 --> 00:10:28,426
No.
203
00:10:28,528 --> 00:10:32,030
Just a inky, dark,
terrifying void.
204
00:10:34,067 --> 00:10:36,701
- Maybe we should turn around.
- Good idea.
205
00:10:36,803 --> 00:10:39,570
Yeah.
206
00:10:41,407 --> 00:10:43,775
Uh...
207
00:11:06,098 --> 00:11:09,334
Uh... cock-a-doodle-doo?
208
00:11:22,115 --> 00:11:25,416
- Ethyl, this is a
tough situation, - Yeah.
209
00:11:25,518 --> 00:11:28,786
But we can get through it if
we stay calm and work together.
210
00:11:29,956 --> 00:11:31,856
- Take her!
- Aah! Take him!
211
00:11:31,958 --> 00:11:33,758
There's more meat.
212
00:11:35,628 --> 00:11:37,728
He wants you to
roll down the window.
213
00:11:37,830 --> 00:11:40,631
Are you nuts?! He'll
tear us to pieces.
214
00:11:40,733 --> 00:11:43,000
Just don't touch that window!
215
00:11:45,371 --> 00:11:46,937
Aaah!
216
00:11:49,743 --> 00:11:51,676
- Howdy.
- Aaah!
217
00:11:51,778 --> 00:11:54,412
Hi.
218
00:11:54,514 --> 00:11:57,949
Jeez. What's his problem?
219
00:11:58,051 --> 00:11:59,917
Don't get me started.
220
00:12:00,019 --> 00:12:01,952
You folks lost? Need directions?
221
00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:04,822
Yeah. We seem to have
wandered off the interstate.
222
00:12:04,924 --> 00:12:06,791
We're looking for highway seven.
223
00:12:06,893 --> 00:12:10,027
Oh. Well, you're way off.
224
00:12:10,130 --> 00:12:11,929
Now that's about 14 miles back.
225
00:12:12,031 --> 00:12:15,333
Let's see, now, the
best way for you is, uh...
226
00:12:15,435 --> 00:12:17,535
Oh, head back the
way you came from,
227
00:12:17,637 --> 00:12:19,738
and then turn right
at the Waffle House,
228
00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:22,807
then go left at the third
light. Uh, you can't miss it.
229
00:12:22,909 --> 00:12:26,210
- Oh. Thank you.
- No problem, ma'am.
230
00:12:26,312 --> 00:12:29,113
Um...
231
00:12:29,215 --> 00:12:32,784
- He gonna be OK?
- Yeah, just a little carsick.
232
00:12:32,886 --> 00:12:37,021
All right. Y'all
drive safely now.
233
00:12:37,123 --> 00:12:40,425
Such a nice young fellow.
234
00:12:40,527 --> 00:12:42,693
So polite.
235
00:12:43,863 --> 00:12:47,631
Earl, you OK?
236
00:12:47,734 --> 00:12:49,300
Earl? Wake up.
237
00:12:49,402 --> 00:12:51,936
Aaah!
238
00:12:52,038 --> 00:12:53,304
There's a Waffle House?
239
00:12:53,406 --> 00:12:56,841
Yeah, you're OK. Let's go.
240
00:12:59,079 --> 00:13:01,646
Mom, this makes no sense.
241
00:13:01,748 --> 00:13:04,349
How come I'm wearing my
stupid blue blazer to go skiing?
242
00:13:04,451 --> 00:13:06,128
I want to go back to the beach.
243
00:13:06,152 --> 00:13:09,120
Would everyone stand in the
position they're supposed to?
244
00:13:09,222 --> 00:13:10,754
Why do I have stand next to him?
245
00:13:10,857 --> 00:13:12,817
You can have my
spot next to diaper boy.
246
00:13:12,892 --> 00:13:15,459
The crisp mountain
breeze is getting kind of ripe.
247
00:13:15,561 --> 00:13:18,562
- Want cheese fondue!
- Shut up! Shut up!
248
00:13:18,665 --> 00:13:22,466
I want all of you to stop
complaining, stand still and smile.
249
00:13:22,568 --> 00:13:25,103
- Why?
- Because I said so!
250
00:13:25,204 --> 00:13:27,972
- Oh, there's a good reason.
- "Because I said so."
251
00:13:28,074 --> 00:13:31,042
Come on, Mom, these dopey
backdrops and stupid skis?
252
00:13:31,144 --> 00:13:32,476
This whole thing's a joke.
253
00:13:32,578 --> 00:13:34,612
Happy family, that's the joke!
254
00:13:34,714 --> 00:13:38,027
I was just trying to do something
nice for your father's birthday.
255
00:13:38,051 --> 00:13:40,618
Is that so horrible?
256
00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:43,688
Oh, I'm sorry.
I've heard enough.
257
00:13:43,790 --> 00:13:46,223
It's obvious there are a
lot of thorny family issues
258
00:13:46,325 --> 00:13:48,070
keeping you guys
from being close.
259
00:13:48,094 --> 00:13:50,461
At least, close enough
for a good family picture.
260
00:13:50,563 --> 00:13:52,241
Now I think the
best thing to do,
261
00:13:52,265 --> 00:13:55,026
if we even stand a chance of
getting a decent glossy print,
262
00:13:55,068 --> 00:13:58,669
is for us all to sit down
and talk this thing through.
263
00:13:58,771 --> 00:14:00,248
- Why listen to you?
- Yeah.
264
00:14:00,272 --> 00:14:02,006
Because, in addition to being
265
00:14:02,108 --> 00:14:04,375
a professionally-trained
family photographer,
266
00:14:04,477 --> 00:14:09,247
I am also a licensed
family therapist.
267
00:14:09,349 --> 00:14:10,726
- Huh?
- Huh?
268
00:14:10,750 --> 00:14:15,720
There. Now, who wants to share?
269
00:14:15,822 --> 00:14:19,523
Ah. Can't this old
junker go any faster?
270
00:14:19,625 --> 00:14:21,159
Yeah, if I threw you out.
271
00:14:21,260 --> 00:14:24,929
Well, we wouldn't be late like
this if you hadn't gotten us lost.
272
00:14:25,031 --> 00:14:26,931
You had the map.
273
00:14:27,734 --> 00:14:29,633
This is all your fault.
274
00:14:29,736 --> 00:14:33,671
I'm gonna miss the reunion, I'm
gonna miss seeing all my friends.
275
00:14:33,773 --> 00:14:36,841
We're not gonna miss
anything. I'm going 90.
276
00:14:36,943 --> 00:14:39,143
Fifty-five, 56 maybe.
277
00:14:39,245 --> 00:14:42,113
You were doing 96
miles an hour, sir.
278
00:14:42,215 --> 00:14:43,881
Wow. Did you hear that, Ethyl?
279
00:14:43,983 --> 00:14:46,483
Ninety-six. Pretty
fast for a junker.
280
00:14:46,585 --> 00:14:49,020
Hmm.
281
00:14:49,122 --> 00:14:51,923
I mean, too fast,
282
00:14:52,025 --> 00:14:54,358
and... and certainly
not a safe speed
283
00:14:54,460 --> 00:14:58,462
if it weren't for the
extenuating circumstances.
284
00:14:58,564 --> 00:15:00,764
Which are?
285
00:15:03,536 --> 00:15:06,203
I'm taking the
mother-in-law to the hospital.
286
00:15:06,305 --> 00:15:07,672
Hmm?
287
00:15:07,774 --> 00:15:09,807
The mental hospital.
288
00:15:09,909 --> 00:15:11,843
She's dangerously insane.
289
00:15:12,478 --> 00:15:13,877
Yeah?
290
00:15:14,614 --> 00:15:15,680
Uh, uh...
291
00:15:15,782 --> 00:15:18,782
Doesn't look dangerously
insane to me, sir.
292
00:15:18,884 --> 00:15:21,351
Don't lie to the officer, Earl.
293
00:15:21,453 --> 00:15:23,520
We both know that...
294
00:15:23,622 --> 00:15:27,258
I'm pregnant, about
to give birth to triplets.
295
00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:31,329
Three beautiful
bowling balls, all girls.
296
00:15:34,567 --> 00:15:38,636
- Oh, my God!
- Uh, some days
are worse than others.
297
00:15:38,738 --> 00:15:41,772
Well, I better get
on to the hospital.
298
00:15:41,874 --> 00:15:45,576
- Let me give you an escort.
- No, no, no. No need.
299
00:15:45,678 --> 00:15:49,646
Merry Christmas,
Mr. President. Hah!
300
00:15:49,748 --> 00:15:52,116
See ya on Mars.
301
00:15:52,218 --> 00:15:54,952
Hurry.
302
00:15:58,258 --> 00:16:01,426
Whoa, Ethyl, you are good.
303
00:16:01,528 --> 00:16:04,328
Hey, I know how
to handle the fuzz.
304
00:16:04,431 --> 00:16:05,896
Yeah, we're quite a team, Ethyl.
305
00:16:05,999 --> 00:16:09,667
No, you're a team
all by yourself, fat boy.
306
00:16:09,769 --> 00:16:13,004
Huh?
307
00:16:13,106 --> 00:16:16,374
Oh, hey, I see our exit. You better
start touching up your makeup.
308
00:16:16,475 --> 00:16:20,844
You better drive around the
block. This could take awhile.
309
00:16:27,119 --> 00:16:30,421
It's just that you complain
we're not responsible,
310
00:16:30,523 --> 00:16:32,990
but then you don't trust
us with responsibility.
311
00:16:33,092 --> 00:16:36,727
Ah, very assertive,
Charlene. Fran.
312
00:16:36,829 --> 00:16:40,531
Well, I guess I got used
to you being little kids,
313
00:16:40,633 --> 00:16:44,468
and I'm having trouble accepting
you as independent young adults.
314
00:16:44,570 --> 00:16:47,137
Oh, I think Fran has looked
into the mirror of herself
315
00:16:47,239 --> 00:16:49,740
and has seen something
that isn't so pretty.
316
00:16:49,843 --> 00:16:53,377
She's too controlling.
I want to wear a dress!
317
00:16:53,479 --> 00:16:54,945
Let's all role play,
318
00:16:55,048 --> 00:16:57,848
and see how Fran might have
presented the idea of a portrait
319
00:16:57,950 --> 00:17:01,519
in a more family-centric
way. Charlene, you play Fran.
320
00:17:01,620 --> 00:17:04,788
- Robbie will play Charlene.
- OK.
321
00:17:04,891 --> 00:17:08,159
And I'll be the cheese.
322
00:17:13,799 --> 00:17:16,700
Jeez, after all that looks
like we're the first ones here.
323
00:17:16,802 --> 00:17:19,170
- Oh, I'm so excited.
- Mmm, yeah.
324
00:17:19,272 --> 00:17:20,905
How do I look?
325
00:17:21,007 --> 00:17:24,408
Huh? Um, well, uh...
326
00:17:24,511 --> 00:17:27,845
As beautiful as you could, uh,
327
00:17:27,947 --> 00:17:29,847
reasonably be
expected to be, uh,
328
00:17:29,949 --> 00:17:34,051
- considering that... As we know...
- You're too kind.
329
00:17:34,154 --> 00:17:37,121
- Thank you.
- Hey there, class of '62er.
330
00:17:37,223 --> 00:17:40,524
I'm Barry Maloney with the
Happy Reunions Company,
331
00:17:40,626 --> 00:17:44,595
and we're the organizers
of your gala evening tonight.
332
00:17:44,697 --> 00:17:48,699
So let's just get you and
your husband all checked in.
333
00:17:48,801 --> 00:17:50,802
He's not my husband.
334
00:17:50,904 --> 00:17:54,004
Ah, I understand. Judge not.
335
00:17:54,107 --> 00:17:56,807
Obviously whatever you're
doing is working for you.
336
00:17:56,909 --> 00:17:58,709
Name?
337
00:17:58,811 --> 00:18:00,377
Ethyl Phillips... Ooh!
338
00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:03,347
I mean, Ethyl Hinkelman,
339
00:18:03,449 --> 00:18:06,350
as I was known
before I got married.
340
00:18:06,452 --> 00:18:09,486
OK, let's just check
the old listaroo here.
341
00:18:09,589 --> 00:18:12,889
Hinkelman, Hinkelman...
Ah, here you are.
342
00:18:12,992 --> 00:18:16,160
OK, now let's
stepedy-dep over here,
343
00:18:16,262 --> 00:18:19,630
find your nametag, then
you can just hit that buffet.
344
00:18:19,732 --> 00:18:22,300
- Ah.
- All righty? This way.
345
00:18:23,135 --> 00:18:25,869
Uh... um...
346
00:18:28,340 --> 00:18:32,510
Why am I the only nametag
here? Where are all my friends?
347
00:18:32,612 --> 00:18:35,246
Well, let's just have
a little look-see, OK?
348
00:18:35,348 --> 00:18:37,081
Uh-huh, mm-hmm.
349
00:18:37,183 --> 00:18:39,817
Uh-huh, uh-huh...
350
00:18:41,687 --> 00:18:44,154
They're all dead.
351
00:18:44,256 --> 00:18:47,825
Yep. According to my records
you are the only surviving member
352
00:18:47,927 --> 00:18:50,093
of the class of '62.
353
00:18:53,098 --> 00:18:57,401
Hey, look on the bright
side, no wait at the buffet.
354
00:18:57,503 --> 00:19:02,006
But what about my friends
Dorothy, Rose and Blanche?
355
00:19:02,108 --> 00:19:04,575
They were my best friends.
356
00:19:04,677 --> 00:19:08,979
We were gonna live together.
357
00:19:10,483 --> 00:19:12,950
Hey, am I crazy...
358
00:19:13,052 --> 00:19:16,353
or wasn't this supposed
to be a party, huh?
359
00:19:16,455 --> 00:19:20,958
So let's get this reunion
in gear, huh? OK.
360
00:19:22,127 --> 00:19:23,961
They're all gone.
361
00:19:24,063 --> 00:19:27,764
Now I'm completely
alone in the world.
362
00:19:27,866 --> 00:19:30,934
Uh... Listen, Ethyl,
363
00:19:31,037 --> 00:19:33,637
I'm sorry about
your friends and all.
364
00:19:33,739 --> 00:19:37,741
Uh, do you want me to get you
a drink of punch or something?
365
00:19:37,843 --> 00:19:40,711
No. Just take me home.
366
00:19:40,813 --> 00:19:43,347
OK, folks, it's awards time.
367
00:19:43,449 --> 00:19:45,794
The classmate who
has traveled the farthest:
368
00:19:45,818 --> 00:19:48,986
Ethyl Hinkelman! Give her a
round of applause. Beautiful.
369
00:19:49,088 --> 00:19:52,557
Classmate who has traveled
the least: Ethyl Hinkelman.
370
00:19:52,659 --> 00:19:56,360
Gained the most
weight: Ethyl Hinkelman!
371
00:20:14,213 --> 00:20:20,117
♪ Oh, tie a yellow ribbon
'round the old oak tree
372
00:20:20,219 --> 00:20:22,687
♪ It's been three long years -
373
00:20:22,789 --> 00:20:25,923
♪ Do you still want...
374
00:20:26,025 --> 00:20:27,725
♪ Me?
375
00:20:40,506 --> 00:20:42,106
OK, good.
376
00:20:42,208 --> 00:20:45,876
Now this could work.
Everybody, eyes forward.
377
00:20:45,978 --> 00:20:48,846
Lick your lips. Let's
have a nice big smile,
378
00:20:48,948 --> 00:20:50,392
and...
379
00:20:50,416 --> 00:20:51,915
We're home.
380
00:20:52,017 --> 00:20:55,218
Earl, what are you doing
back home so soon?
381
00:20:55,320 --> 00:20:58,222
The reunion sort
of died early...
382
00:20:58,324 --> 00:21:00,891
uh, to use an expression.
383
00:21:00,994 --> 00:21:03,260
Fran, what's going on here?
384
00:21:03,362 --> 00:21:06,464
Oh, it was supposed to be
a surprise for Earl's birthday.
385
00:21:06,566 --> 00:21:09,466
We wanted to give you
a portrait of your family.
386
00:21:10,236 --> 00:21:11,501
How are you doing?
387
00:21:11,603 --> 00:21:14,337
- What?
- My family?
388
00:21:14,874 --> 00:21:17,741
But, uh...
389
00:21:17,843 --> 00:21:20,121
This isn't a picture
of my whole family.
390
00:21:20,145 --> 00:21:21,356
- It's not?
- Hmm?
391
00:21:21,380 --> 00:21:23,125
Because there's a
member of my family
392
00:21:23,149 --> 00:21:25,615
very important to me
who's not in this picture.
393
00:21:25,717 --> 00:21:29,754
- What?
- Aunt Pearl lives
awfully far away.
394
00:21:29,856 --> 00:21:32,489
- It's not Aunt Pearl.
- Cousin Gus is dead.
395
00:21:32,591 --> 00:21:35,059
- So is Grandpa Louie.
- We don't have a pet.
396
00:21:35,161 --> 00:21:40,163
- Maybe he means the TV.
- It's me. He's talkin'
about me, fools.
397
00:21:40,266 --> 00:21:42,833
I'm an important
member of the family.
398
00:21:42,935 --> 00:21:45,369
I'm beloved.
399
00:21:45,471 --> 00:21:46,970
Right, fat boy?
400
00:21:47,072 --> 00:21:50,174
Hey, Mom, we're friends now.
401
00:21:50,276 --> 00:21:51,854
I'm trying to be nice to you.
402
00:21:51,878 --> 00:21:55,112
You want to be
nice? Stand still.
403
00:21:55,214 --> 00:21:56,847
Ow! Jeez!
404
00:21:56,949 --> 00:21:59,984
Hitting you is the
only joy left in my life.
405
00:22:00,086 --> 00:22:03,053
Don't deny an old
lady a simple pleasure.
406
00:22:03,155 --> 00:22:04,821
Oww!
407
00:22:04,924 --> 00:22:08,325
This is so sweet, seeing
you two getting along like this.
408
00:22:08,428 --> 00:22:11,262
- Yeah.
- Oh, yeah, very heartwarming.
409
00:22:12,765 --> 00:22:14,932
Will you hurry up
and take the picture?
410
00:22:15,034 --> 00:22:18,468
OK, everybody. Smile.
411
00:22:18,570 --> 00:22:21,839
You too, Grandma.
Big smile, come on.
412
00:22:21,941 --> 00:22:24,941
Jeez, Ethyl, I think
you broke a rib.
413
00:22:25,043 --> 00:22:28,312
Hey-hey! Now I'm smiling.
28977
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