All language subtitles for Dinosaurs S04E03 The Greatest Story Ever Sold.DVDRip.NonHI.cc.en.DSNY.EN

"Not by the scales on
our chinny-chin-chins",

said the three brachiosaurs.

So the big bad
dilapasaurus roared back,

'Then I'll huff and I'll puff

and I'll blow your house down.'

And he took a big breath."

And some other stuff
happened. The End.

- Daddy.
- Oh!

I'm awake.

Hey, it's Baby's bedtime.

Daddy has to get on
with the rest of his life.

Want another story!

But if Daddy reads
you another story,

you'll just want
another and another.

I'll be reading and we'll learn
new things together all the time.

Daddy won't have
any time for television.

Tell me a story
or no one sleeps!

OK.

Once upon a time, there
was a little boy called Earl,

who only wanted to grow up to
sing show tunes on the big stage.

- Heard it.
- Uh, but it's my favorite.

Tell me a story about me.

Where did I come from?

You came from an egg.

Where did the egg come from?

Well, eggs come from
mommies and daddies.

Where do they come from?

More eggs! Get the picture?

Now, good night.

Where did the first mommy
and daddy come from?

- I don't know... more eggs.
- But where did
they come from?

Um, they came from...

- they came from...
- How did we all get here?

And why are we here?

Daddy?

I don't know!

I can't figure out why we exist.

I never really thought
about it before.

Well, I just figured we're just
to do things for Mr. Richfield.

- Yeah.
- Beyond that.

Why do dinosaurs
exist on this planet?

For what purpose?

Maybe there are no answers.

Maybe we don't exist at all.

- Huh?
- Maybe none
of this exists.

Not these trees, not this log.

Not even these donuts!

Hey, hey, hey!

That's crazy talk, Sid.

Question the existence of snack
foods and everything falls apart.

Hey, you jaw-flapping,
low-life sacks of compost,

why aren't you working?

Well, sir,

what's the point of work when
we don't know why we exist?

Why you exist?

I'll tell you why you exist.

So you can push down trees.

So cities can be built
for dinosaurs to live in.

So they can push down more
trees, so more cities can be built

so dinosaurs can push... down...

You're right! I don't
know why we exist!

Oh, no!

Honey, I'm home.

Aaah!

- Ohh!
- Ow!

- Ow!
- Ooh!

Aah!

It certainly is an
intriguing question.

Where did we come from?

Who created us?

What is our purpose?

Why are we here?

To feed me! Let's
go, I'm starving.

You're the one who
asked in the first place.

Does it bother you no
one knows the answers?

It bothers me I'm not eating!

Hi, Mom. Hi, Baby.

Charlene, what are
you doing home?

Oh, Robbie brought up those
weird questions at school.

- Everybody was kind of freaked.
- Did anyone have any answers?

No. They just panicked
and shut down the school.

- Oh.
- Which would be great,

if it weren't for
this nagging feeling

life is empty and meaningless.

Speaking of empty...

Everyone's grappling with
questions of existence and meaning.

What an exciting
time to be alive.

Shoot me, Fran! End the pain!

My brain hurts from
all these questions.

Oh, my. I'm afraid this
is all too much for us.

If only there were some
way to stop all this thinking...

just for a half hour or so.

It's T-G-Y-W-A on ABC.

- And now back to,
Livin in a House.
- Hey.

Honey, the Buttersons are
coming over in two minutes,

and I can't find the roast.

Maybe it smelled your
kumquat-strudel surprise and ran away.

Oh!

Danny, do you know
where the roast is?

Hey, don't look at
me. I'm no roast-rustler.

No more pesky
thoughts in this little head.

It's like being wrapped in
a warm blanket of cheese.

We interrupt this to
bring you a special report.

Here is DNN's news
correspondent, Howard Handupme.

The nation is gripped
by panic this afternoon

as dinosaurs everywhere
desert factories and classrooms

to wrestle with never-before-asked
questions of existence.

Why are we here?
Where did we come from?

What is the meaning of life?

Why... Why am I sitting
behind this phony desk,

reading these... these words?

What's... what's the
point of any of this?

Thanks. I needed that.

Sorry. Huh? Uh... this just in.

The Council of Elders has
called an emergency session

to deal with the current crisis
and get Pangaea back to work.

Their first task, find out
who started this whole mess,

and point the finger of blame.

Huh?

Uh-oh.

All cower and grovel, the
Council of Elders is now in session.

Who stands before the court?

Um, this is Miss Eunice Feldman,

and she wants a speed
bump installed on her street.

- Uh...
- No.

My mistake.

This is the Sinclair party,
and they are charged with,

"tearing asunder

the very social fabric

of all Pangaea!"

We'd be interested
in the speed bumps.

- If there's time.
- Silence!

Because of the vexing and
unwelcome questions of this small child,

the economy is ruined.

The government is on
the verge of collapse.

And chaos reigns in the streets.

- Say you're sorry.
- I'm sorry.

- We're outta here.
- Stop!

The child must
pay for his crime.

- Why?
- Because that is justice.

- What's justice?
- Well, justice
is a system of laws,

and rules that dinosaurs
have formulated to live by.

- Why?
- He's doing it again.

Now you see what I'm up against?

Enough!

- I hereby sentence you...
- Wait!

What good does it
do to punish the baby?

The questions he asked are out
there, everybody's asking them.

Then, uh... we'll
punish everybody!

What if we were to gather
the greatest minds in Pangaea?

An open forum, talk about where
we came from, why we're here.

Hmm. You mean...

actually try to
answer the questions?

Oh, why, that's it! We'll
give them answers.

Quick, simple answers
that will calm everyone down

and send them back to work.

You're missing the point.

But, we must make
sure in advance

that the answers are so simple

everyone can understand them,

even the most
thick-skulled simpleton.

Then, let us take no chances.

Consult the public records book to
find the biggest boob in all the land.

Biggest boob, um...

biggest bar, biggest bulb, um...

biggest boob.
Summon Earl Sinclair!

Oh!

Oh, my. What a coincidence.

You hear, son? The biggest.

Let us now hear from
the first philosopher.

What is the answer to
the meaning of existence?

I am believing
that all life sprang

from the glistening
dewdrop on the nose of a frog

as it leapt from
the celestial lily pad

in the enormous pond of time.

- I am lost.
- Thank you.

Next.

I believe the reason
we are here on Earth

is to spread charity and
goodwill among all dinosaurs.

For only through good
works and sacrifice

can we find peace
and a sense of purpose.

And finally come to know why we've
been given this blessed gift of life.

- Ah, that's beautiful.
- Yes. Truly a guide to life.

- Too much work.
- Doesn't have a hat.

- Yeah.
- Next!

OK. Picture this.

A giant, magic flying potato

swoops down, makes
a few magical gestures,

bing, bang, boom, universe!

Huh? So, how do
you love it so far?

- Uh...
- A potato?

- That doesn't explain anything.
- - Wait a minute.

Are you talking
about a baked potato?

Sure, sure. You know, sour
cream, chives, bacon bits, whatever.

Slathered in butter?

Look, look, the
idiot's buying it.

I think we may be
on to something here.

Yes, potatoes are very popular.

They're a tasty
treat everyone likes.

From there,

it's just a hop, skip
and a jump to worship.

- Ah.
- Wait, I got more.

Now, the potatoes'
roots, they run deep, right?

And they got a million eyes...

Fine, fine. I'm sure
it's a very colorful story.

- We'll take it from here.
- Wait a minute.

We only heard from three guys.

There's 100 more
waiting out there.

- We should hear
what they have to say.
- Oh, sure, sure, sure.

You listen to every suggestion,
create a balanced synthesis

that incorporates a wide
spectrum of belief systems.

But, it's almost lunchtime
and I'm getting cranky.

You're gonna decide the great
issues of the day 'cause you're hungry?

I only had a
muffin for breakfast.

It's decided.

Potato-ism is the
source of all answers

to the great questions of life.

We'll iron out all the
specifics after lunch.

Lunch.

But, you...

The Pangaean Council of
Elders is happy to announce

that after an exhaustive search

the answers to all questions

relating to the meaning
of life have been found.

Please have a pen or pencil ready to
copy down the following information.

Question number one.

Where did we come from?

Dinosaurs and all living things

were created by
the Great Potato,

an omnipotent,
all-knowing starchy tuber

who rules the universe.

What is the nature of dinosaurs?

Each dinosaur is
like a single potato,

springing forth from the earth
with eyes to see the world around it

and lots of potassium.

- How do you spell potassium.
- P-O-T-A...

Oh, forget it.

What is our purpose
on this earth?

Our purpose is to
serve the Great Potato

by giving our troubled,
questioning minds a rest.

Confident that the
Great Book of Potato

will provide all the
answers we need.

Potato-ism.

Now get back to work.

What a joke! Do they believe we'd be
stupid enough to fall for this garbage?

Hard to say, son. I
gotta get back to work.

I gotta get back to school.

Mom?

I have to say it's reassuring

to have answers to
such disturbing questions.

Don't you care where
the answers came from?

Sometimes it's better to have
some answers than no answers at all.

Besides, what harm could it do?

I realize we've all just been
introduced to Potato-ism

- and many of you
have questions.
- Yeah, you're darn right.

And I can think of no
more appropriate forum

to scrutinize this new ideology

than right here
in science class,

where the quest for
truth is paramount.

Yes, finally.

That quest is made much easier

with this handy index
to all life's answers

from the Great Book of Potato.

- What?
- Is there a problem?

This is science class, but
there's nothing scientific about it.

Course there is. We have
beakers, Bunsen burners,

gross, squiggly
things floating in jars.

Don't you realize what will
happen if we stop asking questions

and rely on that
book to rule our lives?

No. But the answer
is on page 476.

Yeah, well, forget
it. I'm not buying this.

Then, Mr. Sinclair,

I'm afraid there's only
one thing left for me to do.

Let's see... "The
Loss of a Loved One,"

"Marital Strife," "Radial
Tire Maintenance?"

A-ha. Here it is, "Refusal
to Accept Potato-ism."

Robert Sinclair, you are
hereby expelled from high school

and outcast from society.

Your life will now spiral
downward into oblivion.

We will now stand and recite
the Pledge of Potato-ism.

Yeah, right.

- Made it home just in time.
- Oh, yes. It's the hour
of the Potato.

- Yep. Where's Robbie?
- He hasn't come home yet.

Oh! Shh! It's on.

Good evening, fellow Pangaeans.

All hail the Great Potato.

Hail the Great Potato.

I'm sick of potatoes.

By now, I trust you've all
welcomed Potato-ism into your lives

and have found
comfort in its answers.

Well, we, your
government/religious leaders

would like to simplify
your life even further.

Starting tonight, we'll not only provide
answers to questions you've raised,

but, also answer questions
you haven't even thought of.

Life keeps getting better.

"Should I work late, even
though I'm not getting paid for it?"

- The answer is, "Yes, you should.
- " - Oh.

"May I send the government
extra money on my income tax?"

The answer is, "Yes,
as much as possible."

Earl, should I make
rice or stuffing?

The answer is, "Stuffing."

They're good.

They're brainwashing you.

Robbie, where have you been?

Spiraling downward
into oblivion.

"Dear Mr. and Mrs. Sinclair

your son Robert was
expelled from school today

for rejecting all known belief

and threatening to obliterate
the foundations of social order!"

Again? What is it with you?

- How could you?
- Don't you see
what they're doing?

They're making all this Potato
stuff up. This is not the truth.

They're just feeding you
easy answers to pacify you.

That way they can
control your lives.

Yeah, well it's about time!

Our lives could use
a little controlling

by a higher, omniscient,
more knowledgeable source.

A potato?!

Robbie, I realize this isn't
an easy adjustment for you.

A situation like this
calls for a dose of

time-tested parental advice.

- I'll get the book.
- Oh, yeah. That's it,
run to the book.

Don't bother
thinking on your own.

Look up all the answers
to all your problems in life.

Jeez.

Hey, you. Are you alienated?

Do your maverick views make
you feel like the only sane voice

in a world gone mad?

- Yeah.
- You're wrong. Embrace Potato-ism.

- Be like everybody else.
- Oh, brother.

Jeez.

- Son?
- What?

Can we have a little chat?

You know,
father-to-social outcast?

If you're gonna tell me how a
vegetable can improve my life, forget it.

Robbie, we're all very upset.

But, if we're gonna work our
problems out, we do it as a family.

- Yep. So we called
the Potato Hotline.
- Hmm?

They're sending counselors to
help guide you through this passage.

- Good afternoon, citizens.
- Hail the Potato.

Hail.

Son, we understand you're
finding the transition to Potato-ism

fraught with difficulty.

It can be an anxious
and puzzling time.

We're here to help.

Ow! Hey! Get your hands off me.

Earl, they're hurting him.
Shouldn't we stop them?

The answer's no,
lady. Look it up.

Help, Mom, Dad. Don't
you see what's happening?

There you go. No more
troubling questions.

- Hail the Potato.
- Hail.

Potato.

Oh...

Earl, I think we made a mistake.

Well, I'm sure
it's all for the best.

Hang on in there, son.

Don't worry. Someday
we're gonna look back on this

and have a hearty laugh.

Programs! Get your programs!

Complete sadistic...

Burn, baby.

My fellow Pangaeans, welcome.

And hail the Great Potato!

Hail the Great Potato!

It's just wonderful
to be here tonight,

with all of you for this
joyous celebration of song,

merriment and
sacrificial burning.

And could you have asked
for better weather, huh?

What's going on?

- That's Robbie!
- Earl, they're going
to burn him!

Um... well, I'm sure
it's all just a scare tactic.

Well, it's working.

Robert Sinclair, you are
hereby charged with the act

of willfully undermining the
belief system we have held sacred

since the beginning
of... uh, well, this week.

But I only asked a question.

Burn him!

Before we torch
this heathen agitator,

and watch his wretched
corpse snap and crackle

in the fires of goodness...

will the owner of a
brown station wagon

please report to the loch,
you're blocking an exit.

Oh, my gosh! Daddy,
you've got to do something.

Yeah, I've gotta move the
car. What a day I'm having.

Earl, that's our son up there.

Sweetheart, I know
it looks pretty bad,

but I'm sure something in the
Book of Potato explains all this.

What could the book possibly
say to justify what they're doing?

Um, here, take a look.

All righty, if everyone
would kindly grab a torch

and mosey on over to the
firepit area, we can get started.

- Hurry!
- It is gotta be
in here somewhere.

And you kids with the marshmallows,
step right on up to the front, OK?

Any last words, heretic?

I take it all back
and I'm really sorry?

You're also kindling.
Light the fire!

Earl, hurry up!

It doesn't say!

I guess this book doesn't
have all the answers.

What did you say?

Uh-oh.

Hail to the Potato, Dad?

- Point taken.
- Mmm.

Burn 'em!

The Potato demands that
those who question its glory

be roasted to a golden brown.

Light the ceremonial fires!

Right, Chief.

Oh, oh, don't.

You see, Dad? No one
cares about searching for truth.

They only want easy answers.

I guess easy answers
aren't always the best ones.

- Yeah.
- Oh, marshmallow s'mores.

Please, can't anyone stop this?

Goodbye, son.

Nothing on earth can alter
the sacred will of the Po-ta-to!

Yeah!

The fire! It's gone out!

Robbie.

- Hey.
- Hey, the wind.

- Where did it come from?
- It blew out the fire.

But... he said the fire
was the will of the Potato.

Yeah, how could the
Potato allow that to happen?

Uh, well, uh...

it's not for us to
try to understand

the mysterious
ways of the Potato.

Uh... for, uh, for its
plan is beyond the ken

of, uh, mere mortals.

- You're making this up!
- Yeah!

- Yeah, you don't have a clue!
- No!

Yeah, we need answers.

You're right, we
all need answers.

But we can't make the mistake
of accepting the first answer

that's handed to us
just because it's there.

But we liked that
because it was easy.

But it turned out to
be a fraud, didn't it?

Well, yes.

What have you learned?

Well, uh... we have
to explore and think,

and after a personal, spiritual quest
decide the answers for ourselves.

- Yes.
- Ah. And then...

- kill everyone
who disagrees.
- Yes!

No! Everyone must be allowed to
believe what they want to believe.

Ah. You know,

I always sort of
believed that the universe

was coughed up by the
Great Congested Warthog.

- Huh?
- That's... interesting.

And you're entitled
to that... belief.

Um, what if all life

were forked out of the flaky
crust of steaming chicken pot pie?

Think they'll ever get
around to unchaining us?

Yeah. Yeah, if they ever
figure out the meaning of life.

Well, it's a beautiful night.

Oh, yeah, it sure is.
Look at those stars.

Yeah.

Dad, where do you
think the stars come from?

I've never thought
about it before, son.

But now I think I will.