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1
00:00:02,403 --> 00:00:04,203
The dinosaurs...
2
00:00:05,739 --> 00:00:09,941
So much is yet unknown about
these ferocious and magnificent beasts
3
00:00:10,044 --> 00:00:13,312
that ruled the planet more
than 60 million years ago.
4
00:00:13,414 --> 00:00:17,115
Here at the prestigious Royal
Museum of Natural History,
5
00:00:17,217 --> 00:00:22,520
artifacts unearthed the world over
provide clues to the dinosaur mystery.
6
00:00:23,156 --> 00:00:24,957
Hey.
7
00:00:25,059 --> 00:00:28,393
Why is our numerical
system based on ten,
8
00:00:28,495 --> 00:00:32,531
when we only have eight fingers?
9
00:00:32,633 --> 00:00:35,534
Whoa!
10
00:00:35,636 --> 00:00:38,837
And it is up to a select
group of dedicated scientists,
11
00:00:38,939 --> 00:00:40,706
called paleontologists,
12
00:00:40,808 --> 00:00:43,008
or dinosaur
detectives, if you will,
13
00:00:43,110 --> 00:00:46,478
to take these bits of bone,
these fragments of fossil
14
00:00:46,580 --> 00:00:48,981
and shape our
understanding of history,
15
00:00:49,083 --> 00:00:51,916
indeed, link us to
our primeval past.
16
00:00:52,018 --> 00:00:56,588
What qualifies these men and
women to hold such lofty positions?
17
00:00:56,690 --> 00:00:59,691
Certainly years of arduous
study and advanced degrees,
18
00:00:59,793 --> 00:01:03,095
grueling apprenticeships
and endless field training.
19
00:01:03,197 --> 00:01:05,330
That is, until now.
20
00:01:05,432 --> 00:01:09,868
Because now, with the Famous
Paleontologists' Home Study Course,
21
00:01:09,970 --> 00:01:12,670
you can be working
in this prestigious field,
22
00:01:12,772 --> 00:01:16,274
alongside noted scholars
and Nobel prize winners,
23
00:01:16,376 --> 00:01:18,443
in as little as eight weeks.
24
00:01:18,545 --> 00:01:23,148
This course is a veritable
treasure-trove of valuable information.
25
00:01:23,250 --> 00:01:25,616
You'll have everything
you need to get started
26
00:01:25,719 --> 00:01:28,920
in the high-paid, glamorous
world of paleontology.
27
00:01:29,022 --> 00:01:31,723
Designed so you can
work at your own pace,
28
00:01:31,825 --> 00:01:34,592
the home study course
teaches you everything you need
29
00:01:34,694 --> 00:01:36,962
to get your
paleontology license.
30
00:01:37,064 --> 00:01:39,964
And oddly enough, your
contractors license, as well.
31
00:01:40,066 --> 00:01:44,102
These lavishly illustrated
volumes will transport you back
32
00:01:44,204 --> 00:01:47,706
tens of millions of
years to the dawn of time.
33
00:01:47,808 --> 00:01:51,643
In your mind's eye, you will
see these gigantic reptiles
34
00:01:51,745 --> 00:01:53,812
towering against the sky.
35
00:01:53,914 --> 00:01:57,449
And in your mind's ear, you
will hear their terrifying roar
36
00:01:57,551 --> 00:02:01,620
rumble once again across
the primeval landscape.
37
00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:06,424
OK.
38
00:02:06,526 --> 00:02:08,793
Here you go.
39
00:02:12,832 --> 00:02:16,667
All right, son, you can do it.
Come on, junior, do it for Daddy.
40
00:02:21,108 --> 00:02:25,710
Way to go, son!
41
00:02:25,812 --> 00:02:27,111
Fascinating.
42
00:02:27,213 --> 00:02:29,848
And that's only a
fraction of what you'll learn
43
00:02:29,950 --> 00:02:33,084
with the Famous Paleontologists'
Home Study Course.
44
00:02:33,186 --> 00:02:37,221
But perhaps you're asking yourselves,
"Is this simple correspondence course
45
00:02:37,323 --> 00:02:40,825
really all I need to become
a working paleontologist?"
46
00:02:40,928 --> 00:02:44,629
Of course not...
You need this hat.
47
00:02:44,731 --> 00:02:48,133
And you can get this totally
authentic hat absolutely free.
48
00:02:48,235 --> 00:02:52,871
Stay tuned to Dinosaurs for full
details about this amazing offer!
49
00:03:22,636 --> 00:03:24,769
Honey, I'm home.
50
00:03:30,444 --> 00:03:31,876
Aaah!
51
00:03:33,513 --> 00:03:35,480
- Ohh!
- Ow!
52
00:03:35,583 --> 00:03:37,582
- Ow!
- Ooh!
53
00:03:37,684 --> 00:03:39,250
Aah!
54
00:03:48,695 --> 00:03:53,231
We're back. Clearly, the promise of
a free hat has piqued your interest.
55
00:03:53,333 --> 00:03:56,668
I'll be telling you about this
delightful headgear later.
56
00:03:56,770 --> 00:04:00,305
- Hey!
- But first, this hard pitch.
57
00:04:00,407 --> 00:04:03,342
How many times have
you said to yourself,
58
00:04:03,444 --> 00:04:07,679
"Gosh, I'd sure like a career
in one of the natural sciences"?
59
00:04:07,781 --> 00:04:10,381
That's where the
real opportunities are,
60
00:04:10,483 --> 00:04:11,950
if you have the training.
61
00:04:12,052 --> 00:04:14,486
I'd love to help shape
man's perception of history.
62
00:04:14,588 --> 00:04:16,268
But I never
finished high school.
63
00:04:16,356 --> 00:04:21,192
Not a problem... with the Famous
Paleontologists' Home Study Course.
64
00:04:21,294 --> 00:04:24,896
Besides these easy to read workbooks,
you'll also receive reference guides,
65
00:04:24,998 --> 00:04:28,500
audio tapes, video tapes, charts,
graphs, models, flash cards,
66
00:04:28,602 --> 00:04:30,969
photos, a journal, stickers,
67
00:04:31,071 --> 00:04:34,172
and the patented
Wheel O' Dinosaur Facts.
68
00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:36,207
Let's say you're at a symposium,
69
00:04:36,309 --> 00:04:39,611
exploring family structure
among the dinosaurs.
70
00:04:39,713 --> 00:04:41,880
Simply turn the wheel to family
71
00:04:41,981 --> 00:04:45,817
and you'll discover that the
dinosaur was actually a devoted
72
00:04:45,919 --> 00:04:47,752
and nurturing parent.
73
00:04:47,854 --> 00:04:51,088
Nobody's gonna tell me
when and where I can parent.
74
00:04:51,190 --> 00:04:53,958
This is my house, these
are my kids and I love 'em.
75
00:04:54,060 --> 00:04:56,394
- Hey, Dad...
- Shut up, I'm talking.
76
00:04:56,496 --> 00:04:59,431
You know, I was just thinking.
77
00:04:59,533 --> 00:05:04,236
When was the last time I sat down
and listened to my son play his guitar?
78
00:05:08,675 --> 00:05:11,909
♪ Look at me! ♪
79
00:05:12,011 --> 00:05:14,112
♪ Look at me ♪
80
00:05:14,214 --> 00:05:17,682
♪ Look at me Look at me! ♪
81
00:05:21,221 --> 00:05:22,887
It's called parenting, Earl.
82
00:05:22,989 --> 00:05:26,157
Oh, please. I've been
parenting for 15 years.
83
00:05:26,259 --> 00:05:28,505
No one has to tell me
how to be a good dad.
84
00:05:28,529 --> 00:05:32,074
You get one crumb on that seat
and you're crawling home, buster.
85
00:05:32,098 --> 00:05:33,665
Very nurturing.
86
00:05:33,767 --> 00:05:35,078
- Daddy!
- What?
87
00:05:35,102 --> 00:05:36,234
Play a game.
88
00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:38,870
- OK.
- Goody.
89
00:05:38,972 --> 00:05:43,074
Let's play... um...
where's Daddy?
90
00:05:43,576 --> 00:05:45,242
Hmm.
91
00:05:47,014 --> 00:05:49,648
Where's Daddy?
92
00:05:49,750 --> 00:05:52,116
This game stinks.
93
00:05:52,218 --> 00:05:53,952
Found me yet?
94
00:05:55,622 --> 00:05:57,688
Found you.
95
00:05:57,791 --> 00:06:00,792
Hey, there's a
hole in this chair.
96
00:06:00,894 --> 00:06:04,596
Of course there's a hole
in it. That's the whole point.
97
00:06:04,697 --> 00:06:06,197
Now, go.
98
00:06:06,299 --> 00:06:07,833
Don't wanna go.
99
00:06:07,935 --> 00:06:09,935
Oh, come on!
100
00:06:10,037 --> 00:06:11,836
- Mr. Toilet's a friend.
- No.
101
00:06:11,939 --> 00:06:14,305
And the best way to
treat a new friend is...
102
00:06:14,407 --> 00:06:16,775
to sit in them and give
them a big present.
103
00:06:17,444 --> 00:06:19,044
That's disgusting!
104
00:06:19,146 --> 00:06:21,813
You guys never
throw parties for me.
105
00:06:21,915 --> 00:06:25,783
Charlene, you know we love
you every bit as much as Robbie.
106
00:06:25,885 --> 00:06:27,052
He's here.
107
00:06:27,154 --> 00:06:29,554
Oh, Robbie!
108
00:06:29,656 --> 00:06:31,356
Earl, did you hear that?
109
00:06:31,458 --> 00:06:34,592
Charlene's coat just
said we're bad parents.
110
00:06:34,694 --> 00:06:36,161
Charlene who?
111
00:06:36,263 --> 00:06:37,595
How about that.
112
00:06:37,697 --> 00:06:41,032
There's all this
cooperation, all this caring.
113
00:06:41,134 --> 00:06:45,069
We're like a cooperating,
caring unit of some kind.
114
00:06:45,171 --> 00:06:46,971
- Like a family?
- Yeah.
115
00:06:47,073 --> 00:06:48,640
Like on TV.
116
00:06:48,742 --> 00:06:51,076
We're so confident
that you'll be thrilled
117
00:06:51,178 --> 00:06:53,812
with the Famous Paleontologists'
Home Study Course,
118
00:06:53,914 --> 00:06:56,148
we'll make you this
remarkable offer.
119
00:06:56,250 --> 00:06:59,450
Order now and you'll
receive, as a special bonus,
120
00:06:59,552 --> 00:07:03,788
this authentic and sporty
pith helmet, absolutely free.
121
00:07:03,890 --> 00:07:05,957
Yes, it's the very
same pith helmet
122
00:07:06,059 --> 00:07:08,994
worn by professional
paleontologists the world over.
123
00:07:09,096 --> 00:07:13,264
Just put it on and you can pull
down the same fat salary they do.
124
00:07:13,366 --> 00:07:16,768
Another hefty check from a
prestigious European museum.
125
00:07:16,870 --> 00:07:19,638
I learned so much
from the course.
126
00:07:19,740 --> 00:07:23,207
The volumes on dinosaurs'
sex roles really opened my eyes.
127
00:07:23,309 --> 00:07:25,010
I would never have imagined
128
00:07:25,112 --> 00:07:28,579
that dinosaur females
contributed so much to their society,
129
00:07:28,682 --> 00:07:30,649
and were so respected by males.
130
00:07:30,751 --> 00:07:33,084
On your wedding day,
Fran wore something
131
00:07:33,186 --> 00:07:36,087
that held great
sentimental value to her.
132
00:07:36,189 --> 00:07:37,421
What was it?
133
00:07:37,523 --> 00:07:39,090
Deodorant, Bob.
134
00:07:39,192 --> 00:07:43,094
I'm sorry. Fran said...
135
00:07:43,196 --> 00:07:44,829
My mother's wedding dress.
136
00:07:44,931 --> 00:07:47,231
I was so close.
137
00:07:47,333 --> 00:07:50,101
Earl, the reason we decided
that I should pay the bills
138
00:07:50,203 --> 00:07:54,038
is that when you pay the bills
you always overreact. Oh, my!
139
00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:58,242
"Oh, my"? What, "Oh, my"?
You never, say "Oh, my".
140
00:07:58,345 --> 00:08:00,222
We'll worry about
this one later.
141
00:08:00,246 --> 00:08:03,381
No! We'll fly off the handle about
it right now, thank you very much.
142
00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:07,218
It's the phone bill and it's just
a little more than I expected.
143
00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:10,554
$4,563,000?!
144
00:08:10,656 --> 00:08:12,824
That's our phone number.
145
00:08:13,826 --> 00:08:14,926
Oh.
146
00:08:15,028 --> 00:08:17,461
OK, next question, Earl.
147
00:08:17,564 --> 00:08:19,531
Earl, since you've been married,
148
00:08:19,633 --> 00:08:24,502
Fran has asked you to remember
only one matter of a romantic nature.
149
00:08:24,604 --> 00:08:26,070
What is it?
150
00:08:26,173 --> 00:08:28,206
Put the toilet seat down, Bob.
151
00:08:29,976 --> 00:08:33,311
Close, but Fran said she
wanted you to remember...
152
00:08:33,413 --> 00:08:36,113
Our anniversary.
153
00:08:36,215 --> 00:08:38,416
So, you're husband's
in real estate?
154
00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:40,385
No, I'm in real estate.
155
00:08:40,487 --> 00:08:43,554
It's nice that your husband lets
you help him around the office.
156
00:08:43,657 --> 00:08:46,458
So, what do you
do? Make him coffee?
157
00:08:46,560 --> 00:08:49,360
No, I don't make
coffee for my husband,
158
00:08:49,462 --> 00:08:51,529
because I don't have a husband.
159
00:08:51,631 --> 00:08:53,265
Hmm, a big gal like you?
160
00:08:53,367 --> 00:08:56,200
Learn to make a good cup of
coffee, you'll snag a male in no time.
161
00:08:56,303 --> 00:08:59,003
Robbie, you have
feelings for this girl,
162
00:08:59,105 --> 00:09:02,106
but you're breaking up with her
just because of a lot of rumors.
163
00:09:02,208 --> 00:09:03,642
Does that make sense?
164
00:09:03,744 --> 00:09:06,611
When I first met your father,
a lot of my friends told me
165
00:09:06,713 --> 00:09:09,314
he had no ambition, he was lazy,
166
00:09:09,416 --> 00:09:13,184
and he would stay a tree pusher
all his life. Now, were they right?
167
00:09:15,722 --> 00:09:18,322
That may not be
the best example.
168
00:09:18,424 --> 00:09:22,193
- It's over between
Wendy and me.
- Why didn't I listen to them?
169
00:09:22,295 --> 00:09:24,228
Fran, have you been drinking?
170
00:09:24,330 --> 00:09:29,567
You bet. I've got my beer goggles
on and you are looking mighty fine.
171
00:09:29,669 --> 00:09:32,036
Now! Now, now,
now! Just hold on!
172
00:09:32,138 --> 00:09:34,672
You can't just turn me on
and off like a light switch.
173
00:09:34,774 --> 00:09:37,041
I'm coming from a
vulnerable place right now.
174
00:09:37,143 --> 00:09:38,576
Take off your shirt.
175
00:09:38,678 --> 00:09:42,947
Earl, you said "pudding
snacks," and Fran said,
176
00:09:44,050 --> 00:09:46,117
"The birth of our first child".
177
00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:51,923
But it was the male
dinosaur who ruled the roost,
178
00:09:52,025 --> 00:09:55,693
strutting, swaggering,
aggressively masculine.
179
00:09:55,795 --> 00:10:00,364
♪ It's a most unusual day ♪
180
00:10:00,466 --> 00:10:03,902
♪ It's like catching
the bridal bouquet ♪
181
00:10:04,004 --> 00:10:07,105
♪ It's like reaching the
moon or composing a tune ♪
182
00:10:07,207 --> 00:10:11,075
♪ It's a most unusual day ♪
183
00:10:11,177 --> 00:10:14,812
It was incredible! I drew
on my primitive instincts,
184
00:10:14,914 --> 00:10:17,581
and stalked it, just
like our ancestors did.
185
00:10:17,683 --> 00:10:20,017
And then, when
there was no escape,
186
00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:23,420
I plunged my pointy stick
savagely into its heart.
187
00:10:23,522 --> 00:10:27,759
And at that moment,
I knew I was a hunter!
188
00:10:27,861 --> 00:10:30,928
Do you know
what that feels like?
189
00:10:31,531 --> 00:10:33,365
Well... uh...
190
00:10:33,467 --> 00:10:36,101
I hit something
driving to work once.
191
00:10:36,836 --> 00:10:38,336
I think it was a cat.
192
00:10:39,739 --> 00:10:41,772
Well, it was either him or me.
193
00:10:41,874 --> 00:10:44,675
You know, guys, it doesn't
get any better than this.
194
00:10:44,777 --> 00:10:49,447
Out here with my best buds in the
bosom of nature, I feel totally at home.
195
00:10:49,549 --> 00:10:50,759
I'm with you there.
196
00:10:50,783 --> 00:10:53,218
Out here, I feel
comfortable enough
197
00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:56,354
to express my true
aggressive nature.
198
00:11:03,563 --> 00:11:05,696
- Spi... spi... spi...
- What?
199
00:11:05,799 --> 00:11:08,800
Spi... spi... spi... spi...
spi... spi... spi... spi...
200
00:11:08,902 --> 00:11:11,836
Spider!
201
00:11:11,938 --> 00:11:15,339
Get it off! Get it off! Get
it off! Get it off! Get it off!
202
00:11:15,441 --> 00:11:19,510
"But the warriors were not afraid.
They bravely stood their ground."
203
00:11:27,887 --> 00:11:30,254
Gee, I don't know, son.
204
00:11:30,356 --> 00:11:34,759
We are dinosaurs. There's a
primitive, brutal beast inside each of us.
205
00:11:35,594 --> 00:11:37,295
And yet, we're also civilized
206
00:11:37,396 --> 00:11:40,898
and so we've all turned
into a big bunch of wussies.
207
00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:44,035
♪ How lovely to be a woman ♪
208
00:11:44,137 --> 00:11:47,638
♪ The wait was well worthwhile ♪
209
00:11:47,740 --> 00:11:50,908
♪ How lovely to wear mascara ♪
210
00:11:51,010 --> 00:11:54,378
♪ And smile a woman's smile ♪
211
00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:57,314
Is he really doing
what I think he's doing?
212
00:11:57,416 --> 00:12:01,052
♪ That's round instead of flat ♪
213
00:12:01,154 --> 00:12:04,488
♪ Whenever you
hear boys whistle ♪
214
00:12:04,590 --> 00:12:07,091
♪ You're what
they're whistling at ♪
215
00:12:07,193 --> 00:12:10,761
- ♪ It's wonderful to feel ♪- Oh.
216
00:12:10,863 --> 00:12:13,498
♪ The way a woman feels ♪
217
00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:16,367
Maybe you're still not sure
218
00:12:16,470 --> 00:12:19,770
whether the Famous
Paleontologists' School is right for you.
219
00:12:19,872 --> 00:12:23,108
Well, stay tuned.
And I'll show you how,
220
00:12:23,210 --> 00:12:26,277
simply by ordering
this remarkable course,
221
00:12:26,379 --> 00:12:31,983
you can make a
guaranteed $100,000.
222
00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:34,085
Get out of here!
223
00:12:35,188 --> 00:12:39,690
How can we guarantee
$100,000 in your pocket
224
00:12:39,792 --> 00:12:43,594
by simply ordering the Famous
Paleontologists' Home Study Course?
225
00:12:43,696 --> 00:12:44,929
Simple.
226
00:12:45,031 --> 00:12:47,632
Cost of a traditional
education in paleontology
227
00:12:47,734 --> 00:12:50,135
at a big impressive
university in Europe: $110,000.
228
00:12:50,237 --> 00:12:53,772
Cost of the Famous Paleontologists'
Course: $89.95. Save $100,000.
229
00:12:53,874 --> 00:12:58,276
And you'll learn everything those
high-priced paleontologists learn,
230
00:12:58,378 --> 00:13:00,879
including the latest
theories, which pose
231
00:13:00,981 --> 00:13:03,281
that the dinosaurs
did not necessarily
232
00:13:03,383 --> 00:13:05,549
spend every waking moment
233
00:13:05,652 --> 00:13:08,586
in the brutal
struggle for survival.
234
00:13:08,688 --> 00:13:11,689
Kids, drop
everything. It's TV time.
235
00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:14,225
Welcome back to
Totally Hidden Predator.
236
00:13:14,327 --> 00:13:17,428
We hid our predator in
this peaceful suburban park.
237
00:13:17,530 --> 00:13:21,165
Let's watch as the
unsuspecting Ida Schmertzler
238
00:13:21,267 --> 00:13:24,102
comes home from the market now.
239
00:13:31,577 --> 00:13:33,811
What's for dinner, Ida?
240
00:13:33,913 --> 00:13:35,413
You are!
241
00:13:37,317 --> 00:13:39,461
The evil Dr. Bad is
up to no good again.
242
00:13:39,485 --> 00:13:41,319
Is there no one who can save us?
243
00:13:41,421 --> 00:13:44,389
Look! It's Captain
Action Figure!
244
00:13:44,491 --> 00:13:46,257
Yay!
245
00:13:46,359 --> 00:13:49,527
Stand back, kids! This calls
for my Captain Action Figure
246
00:13:49,629 --> 00:13:53,330
Laser-Sighted Bazooka
Blaster! Mm-hmm!
247
00:13:58,705 --> 00:14:00,004
Want that!
248
00:14:00,106 --> 00:14:02,207
Is this available in
stores everywhere?
249
00:14:02,309 --> 00:14:03,774
It sure is, Jeffy.
250
00:14:03,876 --> 00:14:06,956
Does it come Utility Belt and
limited supply of Action Ammo?
251
00:14:06,980 --> 00:14:08,212
Sold separately.
252
00:14:08,314 --> 00:14:09,347
Want that!
253
00:14:09,449 --> 00:14:11,482
How long is this commercial?
254
00:14:11,584 --> 00:14:14,619
Not a commercial.
Children's programming.
255
00:14:14,721 --> 00:14:16,654
TV shows don't cause stupidness.
256
00:14:16,756 --> 00:14:19,957
They merely reflect the
stupidness inherent in society.
257
00:14:21,427 --> 00:14:23,127
ABC, watch us.
258
00:14:23,229 --> 00:14:25,396
♪ Please! Please! Please! ♪
259
00:14:25,498 --> 00:14:27,332
Wednesday night is just for
260
00:14:27,356 --> 00:14:29,500
laughs with the fresh
new House Full of Dads.
261
00:14:29,602 --> 00:14:33,037
Daddy, will you please
read me a bedtime story?
262
00:14:33,139 --> 00:14:34,939
- Sure thing.
- OK, sweetheart.
263
00:14:38,744 --> 00:14:40,044
I don't get it.
264
00:14:40,146 --> 00:14:42,480
This fall, it's Info 411,
265
00:14:42,582 --> 00:14:45,717
actual calls for help, real
incidents that really happen.
266
00:14:45,819 --> 00:14:48,820
- What city please?
- - Yeah, in Lower Pangaea,
267
00:14:48,922 --> 00:14:50,882
I need the number
for Don Tarnofsky...
268
00:14:50,957 --> 00:14:53,797
I have two D. Tarnofskys,
do you know the street?
269
00:14:53,827 --> 00:14:55,860
No, I don't!
270
00:14:55,962 --> 00:15:01,232
Info 411, from the producers
of Interesting Car Wrecks.
271
00:15:01,334 --> 00:15:02,467
I don't get it.
272
00:15:02,569 --> 00:15:04,346
Mother, there must
be more for you to do
273
00:15:04,370 --> 00:15:06,670
than sit around and
watch the grass grow.
274
00:15:07,874 --> 00:15:10,007
We're back with more
grass-growing action.
275
00:15:10,110 --> 00:15:12,477
What an exciting lawn
this has turned out to be.
276
00:15:12,579 --> 00:15:14,090
You've got that right, Howard.
277
00:15:14,114 --> 00:15:16,714
We've been watching
this dichondra for four days
278
00:15:16,816 --> 00:15:19,550
and have seen nearly
a quarter inch of growth.
279
00:15:19,652 --> 00:15:23,254
Oh, and... I understand we're going
back down to the lawn right now.
280
00:15:23,356 --> 00:15:25,223
Let's watch.
281
00:15:27,127 --> 00:15:30,128
And now, back to
Totally ineffectual Dad!
282
00:15:34,867 --> 00:15:38,235
Honey, I'm concerned about
Eddie. He seems to be on fire.
283
00:15:38,338 --> 00:15:40,537
Tonight, we wondered
what would happen
284
00:15:40,639 --> 00:15:45,709
if we put our totally hidden
predator in a personnel office.
285
00:15:48,114 --> 00:15:50,581
Hello? Uh, huh?
286
00:15:51,851 --> 00:15:53,751
Hello? I'm here for
the job interview.
287
00:15:53,853 --> 00:15:56,454
Um... hmm?
288
00:15:56,556 --> 00:16:00,758
Hey, it's a predator!
Am I on TV?
289
00:16:00,860 --> 00:16:04,362
At the Famous Paleontology
School, we're selective.
290
00:16:04,464 --> 00:16:07,398
It's not everyone who can
compete in the challenging
291
00:16:07,500 --> 00:16:11,068
and competitive world of
professional paleontology.
292
00:16:11,170 --> 00:16:15,539
To see if you qualify, take
this simple test of your aptitude.
293
00:16:15,642 --> 00:16:17,941
Draw Rex.
294
00:16:18,043 --> 00:16:21,545
Send it in to us and our renowned
faculty will evaluate your drawing
295
00:16:21,648 --> 00:16:25,716
to see if you have what it takes
to be a professional paleontologist.
296
00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:28,719
If you do, we'll send
you Dinosaurs At Work,
297
00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:33,557
in which you'll study the subtle
dynamic between management and labor.
298
00:16:33,660 --> 00:16:38,128
You're all fired!
Fired! Fired! Fired!
299
00:16:38,230 --> 00:16:42,166
Now, get outta here before I split your
bellies and make tarpaulins out of ya!
300
00:16:42,268 --> 00:16:44,168
Sinclair, office!
301
00:16:44,270 --> 00:16:48,305
Hey, there's a couple of words you
hate to hear next to each other, huh?
302
00:16:48,407 --> 00:16:49,540
Dance!
303
00:16:49,642 --> 00:16:50,642
Huh?
304
00:16:50,709 --> 00:16:51,909
Now!
305
00:16:52,011 --> 00:16:53,644
Oh, yeah, OK.
306
00:16:57,984 --> 00:17:00,218
Enough!
307
00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:02,253
I just wanted to
see if you'd do it.
308
00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:04,922
What's your son doing
dating my daughter?!
309
00:17:05,024 --> 00:17:08,892
Oh, sir, they barely know each
other. They're practically strangers.
310
00:17:08,994 --> 00:17:10,628
I'm not even sure he's my son.
311
00:17:10,730 --> 00:17:13,197
They're sitting together
in math class right now!
312
00:17:13,299 --> 00:17:16,167
You must have some
kind of parental radar.
313
00:17:16,269 --> 00:17:18,569
That's right.
314
00:17:18,671 --> 00:17:22,339
The latest in overprotective
parenting technology.
315
00:17:22,441 --> 00:17:24,909
That little blip is
the apple of my eye.
316
00:17:25,011 --> 00:17:27,945
Yes, I can certainly see
the family resemblance.
317
00:17:28,047 --> 00:17:32,617
Oh, some may say I'm an overzealous
control freak with paranoid delusions.
318
00:17:32,719 --> 00:17:33,103
No.
319
00:17:33,127 --> 00:17:37,121
But I like to think of
myself as a loving papa.
320
00:17:37,223 --> 00:17:39,523
Sinclair, you big
dope, get in here!
321
00:17:43,129 --> 00:17:47,064
Sinclair, I saw you push down
a tree without getting its roots.
322
00:17:47,166 --> 00:17:48,632
Do you know what that means?!
323
00:17:48,734 --> 00:17:50,534
Um... I get cake?
324
00:17:50,636 --> 00:17:53,037
No, you thundering boob!
325
00:17:53,139 --> 00:17:56,307
Sinclair, in here now!
326
00:17:58,544 --> 00:18:01,078
- He heard us laughing.
- He thinks we're happy.
327
00:18:01,180 --> 00:18:03,013
Yeah, he hates that.
328
00:18:05,452 --> 00:18:08,585
Uh... do you know why
he called us in here?
329
00:18:08,688 --> 00:18:10,788
Guess he wants us to
watch him read the paper.
330
00:18:10,890 --> 00:18:15,092
Ah. Uh... no one reads
the paper like you, sir. Uh...
331
00:18:16,428 --> 00:18:18,829
Huh.
332
00:18:18,931 --> 00:18:23,233
Oh, oh, yeah, the way you turn
those pages, such style, such panache.
333
00:18:23,335 --> 00:18:25,235
Shut up!
334
00:18:25,338 --> 00:18:29,039
We feel confident that you will be
delighted with our home study course.
335
00:18:29,141 --> 00:18:30,708
But don't take our word for it.
336
00:18:30,810 --> 00:18:33,043
Listen to these home
study graduates.
337
00:18:33,145 --> 00:18:36,447
I wanted something to do in my
spare time while the kids are at school.
338
00:18:36,549 --> 00:18:41,085
Now, I'm carbon dating at home and
competing with prestigious universities.
339
00:18:41,187 --> 00:18:43,654
I've purchased home
study courses before,
340
00:18:43,756 --> 00:18:46,257
but none as satisfying
as paleontology.
341
00:18:46,359 --> 00:18:49,660
Now I'm making big bucks
writing scholarly articles
342
00:18:49,762 --> 00:18:51,362
for scientific journals.
343
00:18:51,464 --> 00:18:53,997
And I can't keep
the chicks off me.
344
00:18:54,099 --> 00:18:57,568
We can't guarantee that
you'll be a babe magnet,
345
00:18:57,670 --> 00:19:00,471
but we're sure you'll be
riveted by volume nine:
346
00:19:00,573 --> 00:19:02,840
The Dinosaur Infant.
347
00:19:02,942 --> 00:19:06,644
Not the mama!
348
00:19:11,050 --> 00:19:13,550
Look who's home.
349
00:19:15,554 --> 00:19:18,255
Not the mama.
350
00:19:18,357 --> 00:19:19,990
And what would you be doing?
351
00:19:20,092 --> 00:19:23,727
Nothing.
352
00:19:23,830 --> 00:19:25,763
You're gonna make
a poop, aren't ya?
353
00:19:25,864 --> 00:19:29,333
Maybe.
354
00:19:29,435 --> 00:19:32,202
- He's goin'.
- Definitely.
355
00:19:32,304 --> 00:19:34,070
Are you going or not?
356
00:19:34,907 --> 00:19:37,808
Ahh. Not anymore.
357
00:19:37,910 --> 00:19:39,476
Sure you know what you're doing?
358
00:19:39,578 --> 00:19:40,944
Haven't a clue.
359
00:19:41,046 --> 00:19:42,112
Mommy!
360
00:19:42,214 --> 00:19:45,749
Hey, don't you
worry, little guy.
361
00:19:45,851 --> 00:19:47,217
You're in capable hands.
362
00:19:47,319 --> 00:19:50,353
See, your dad and Uncle Roy
have everything under control.
363
00:19:50,456 --> 00:19:51,956
Yeah, sure.
364
00:19:52,058 --> 00:19:53,658
Hey, hey, watch it, watch it!
365
00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:56,527
- OK, let's open her up.
- Easy. Oh, no.
366
00:20:02,101 --> 00:20:05,368
It's OK. It's OK. We can...
We can get through this.
367
00:20:05,471 --> 00:20:09,139
Let's just breath through our
mouths and think of daisies.
368
00:20:11,543 --> 00:20:16,080
Roy? Roy! Roy, don't leave
me alone here with this!
369
00:20:16,181 --> 00:20:18,649
Don't you point
that thing at me.
370
00:20:21,053 --> 00:20:23,186
Gotcha.
371
00:20:26,993 --> 00:20:28,859
You sure you don't want this?
372
00:20:28,961 --> 00:20:31,194
♪ La-la-la-la-la-la ♪
373
00:20:31,296 --> 00:20:34,431
♪ La-la-la-la-la-la-la ♪
374
00:20:34,534 --> 00:20:37,768
Do you mind?
I'm trying to study.
375
00:20:40,940 --> 00:20:44,108
♪ La-la-la-la-la! La-la-la-la! ♪
376
00:20:44,209 --> 00:20:46,176
Now, if I can make
a viewing suggestion,
377
00:20:46,278 --> 00:20:47,978
there's a game of
football coming up.
378
00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:50,747
I wanna see The
Little Underwater Girl.
379
00:20:50,849 --> 00:20:54,784
But, sweetheart, we've watched
that tape a hundred times.
380
00:20:54,887 --> 00:20:58,755
I wanna see The
Little Underwater Girl!
381
00:21:01,093 --> 00:21:03,494
- ♪ Under the water ♪
- ♪ H2O ♪
382
00:21:03,596 --> 00:21:06,029
- ♪ Under the water ♪
- ♪ You've got to go ♪
383
00:21:06,132 --> 00:21:10,968
♪ Every son and daughter Really
ought to live under the water ♪
384
00:21:11,070 --> 00:21:11,902
Again!
385
00:21:12,005 --> 00:21:14,638
♪ Under the water ♪
386
00:21:14,740 --> 00:21:16,773
♪ Under the water ♪
387
00:21:16,875 --> 00:21:18,909
♪ Every son and daughter ♪
388
00:21:19,012 --> 00:21:21,745
♪ Really ought to
Live under the water ♪
389
00:21:21,847 --> 00:21:23,147
Bloop! Bloop!
390
00:21:23,249 --> 00:21:25,249
- My ball!
- No, it's yarn.
391
00:21:25,351 --> 00:21:27,551
I'm knitting a nice new
sweater for your sister.
392
00:21:27,620 --> 00:21:28,620
My ball!
393
00:21:28,688 --> 00:21:30,854
- No, I need it to...
- My ball!
394
00:21:30,957 --> 00:21:32,556
I'm trying to explain to you...
395
00:21:32,658 --> 00:21:33,924
My ball!
396
00:21:34,026 --> 00:21:38,662
Yes! I don't know what I
was thinking. It is your ball.
397
00:21:38,764 --> 00:21:39,963
Don't want it.
398
00:21:40,065 --> 00:21:42,198
So, there you have it.
399
00:21:42,301 --> 00:21:47,037
Everything you need to begin your
lucrative new career in paleontology.
400
00:21:47,139 --> 00:21:49,259
Simply call the number
on your screen and say,
401
00:21:49,341 --> 00:21:52,375
"Yes, I too want
to join the ranks
402
00:21:52,478 --> 00:21:56,112
of the world's most elite
corps of jet-setting scientists,
403
00:21:56,214 --> 00:22:00,183
for only three low
payments of $29.95."
404
00:22:00,285 --> 00:22:02,920
Our operators are standing by.
405
00:22:03,021 --> 00:22:05,422
Hello? Is this the network?
406
00:22:05,524 --> 00:22:09,760
Yeah, I want to talk to somebody about
changing all your programming right now.
407
00:22:09,862 --> 00:22:11,829
And don't try to give
me the runaround
408
00:22:11,931 --> 00:22:14,998
'cause I won't take
"no" for an answer.
409
00:22:15,868 --> 00:22:18,401
Yeah, I'll hold.
410
00:22:21,341 --> 00:22:24,742
Hi, I'm Julie, and I'm
ready to take your call
411
00:22:24,844 --> 00:22:28,045
to order the Famous
Paleontologists' Home Study Course.
412
00:22:28,147 --> 00:22:31,081
Thank you, Julie. And
thank you for joining us.
413
00:22:31,183 --> 00:22:32,650
This is Sir David Tushingham,
414
00:22:32,752 --> 00:22:35,553
for the Famous Paleontologists'
Home Study Course.
415
00:22:35,655 --> 00:22:38,222
Good night and good digging.
416
00:22:39,425 --> 00:22:42,159
We're off!
417
00:22:45,531 --> 00:22:47,598
I think it went awfully well.
418
00:22:47,700 --> 00:22:51,235
Oh, I thought so
too, really well.
419
00:22:54,139 --> 00:22:58,175
So... off to my
place for a bit of fun?
420
00:22:58,878 --> 00:23:00,744
OK.
31258
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