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Synchro: Anyone Sixe Guilamu
Transcript: Anyone
Suggestions critics insults: itcrowdsub@gmail.com
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The IT Crowd - 1x02 - Calamity Jen
3
00:00:48,601 --> 00:00:51,692
Has this... ever happened to you?
4
00:01:05,376 --> 00:01:10,129
From today, dialling 999
won't get you the emergency services.
5
00:01:10,239 --> 00:01:12,592
And that's not the only thing
that's changing.
6
00:01:13,217 --> 00:01:15,851
Nicer ambulances,
faster response times,
7
00:01:15,865 --> 00:01:17,505
and better looking drivers
8
00:01:17,522 --> 00:01:19,754
mean they're not just
the emergency services,
9
00:01:19,785 --> 00:01:22,494
they're "your" emergency services. So...
10
00:01:22,558 --> 00:01:24,273
Remember the new number:
11
00:01:36,031 --> 00:01:37,636
That's...
12
00:01:48,412 --> 00:01:52,737
Hello? I've had a bit of a tumble...
13
00:01:52,916 --> 00:01:54,865
Well that's easy to remember!
14
00:01:54,961 --> 00:02:03,616
0118 999 881 999 119 725...
15
00:02:03,699 --> 00:02:04,598
...3!
16
00:02:05,369 --> 00:02:07,490
I don't know why
they just couldn't keep it as it was!
17
00:02:07,536 --> 00:02:09,640
How hard is it to remember 911?
18
00:02:09,675 --> 00:02:11,233
- You mean 999...
- I mean 999!
19
00:02:11,260 --> 00:02:13,127
- That's the American one!
- Yeah!
20
00:02:13,198 --> 00:02:15,941
- You berk!
- Come on, are you ready?
21
00:02:16,897 --> 00:02:18,536
I don't know what to say really
it's fun...
22
00:02:18,559 --> 00:02:20,289
there are some many issues in the world,
23
00:02:20,306 --> 00:02:21,711
They are beautiful, I love them...
24
00:02:21,722 --> 00:02:24,264
in fact they're the most beautiful shoes
I've ever seen but...
25
00:02:24,298 --> 00:02:26,102
you know, I can't have everything
that I love,
26
00:02:26,124 --> 00:02:28,469
otherwise I'd own lots of things,
and actually they're red,
27
00:02:28,528 --> 00:02:31,630
which is quite tarty, and they don't
necessarily go with any of my outfits...
28
00:02:31,970 --> 00:02:33,981
Come on you crazy bitch!
29
00:02:34,072 --> 00:02:34,874
Come on!
30
00:02:35,938 --> 00:02:36,906
Come on!
31
00:02:37,068 --> 00:02:39,251
- Denholm's called the general.
- Oh God, another one!
32
00:02:39,269 --> 00:02:39,840
Yeah!
33
00:02:40,270 --> 00:02:42,616
I bet he declares war on something!
34
00:02:43,076 --> 00:02:45,005
He loves declaring war!
35
00:02:46,168 --> 00:02:47,695
I am declaring...
36
00:02:47,781 --> 00:02:48,853
WAR!
37
00:02:52,482 --> 00:02:54,504
I can see that got your attention.
38
00:02:56,862 --> 00:02:58,547
What am I declaring war on?
39
00:02:58,800 --> 00:03:00,269
My bollocks?!
40
00:03:01,414 --> 00:03:02,883
Stress!
41
00:03:04,124 --> 00:03:07,808
Stress is a disease, people,
and I am a cure!
42
00:03:08,210 --> 00:03:09,852
I'm a doctor with a cure.
43
00:03:10,024 --> 00:03:12,444
No, no! I'm a General!
And it's still a war!
44
00:03:12,660 --> 00:03:14,225
A war on disease!
45
00:03:14,226 --> 00:03:15,303
Stress!
46
00:03:16,786 --> 00:03:18,319
There's too much stress around here.
47
00:03:18,527 --> 00:03:20,436
They're very expensive and besides,
48
00:03:20,450 --> 00:03:23,044
the woman in the shop said
they were way too small for me.
49
00:03:23,057 --> 00:03:25,214
- You see you know, be practical, go on!
- In the time...
50
00:03:25,269 --> 00:03:26,496
I've been speaking,
51
00:03:26,497 --> 00:03:29,671
over 18 million people
have died of stress.
52
00:03:34,517 --> 00:03:35,609
That's another one.
53
00:03:36,553 --> 00:03:37,683
That's another one.
54
00:03:38,319 --> 00:03:39,230
More...
55
00:03:40,411 --> 00:03:41,458
Mayhem!
56
00:03:41,829 --> 00:03:43,044
We gotta deal with it!
57
00:03:49,014 --> 00:03:50,709
- Are you ready to deal with it?!
- Yeah!
58
00:03:50,775 --> 00:03:52,379
Say: "I hate stress!"
59
00:03:52,396 --> 00:03:53,529
- I hate stress!
- No!
60
00:03:53,648 --> 00:03:54,987
You didn't let me finish.
61
00:03:55,203 --> 00:03:56,715
Say: "I hate stress..."
62
00:03:56,845 --> 00:03:59,367
and I want to limitate
its influence in my life,
63
00:03:59,561 --> 00:04:01,656
what can I do about it? Anyone?
64
00:04:02,986 --> 00:04:03,981
Have a bath?
65
00:04:05,044 --> 00:04:06,442
Have a bath?!
66
00:04:06,675 --> 00:04:07,850
Get a bike!
67
00:04:08,421 --> 00:04:10,603
I cycle to work... everyday!
68
00:04:10,666 --> 00:04:11,967
70 miles!
69
00:04:12,100 --> 00:04:14,046
Both here, and here...
70
00:04:14,269 --> 00:04:16,366
are as red as a fire engine!
71
00:04:17,349 --> 00:04:18,441
Any other ideas?
72
00:04:20,200 --> 00:04:21,248
Jen, what about you?
73
00:04:21,306 --> 00:04:22,218
Shoes!
74
00:04:22,508 --> 00:04:24,306
- What?
- Shoes!
75
00:04:24,776 --> 00:04:26,379
Well, shoes...
76
00:04:27,487 --> 00:04:28,719
Ok, look!
77
00:04:28,800 --> 00:04:31,466
I have invited Dr. Julian Holmes
78
00:04:31,488 --> 00:04:33,083
to come and give a class at lunchtime.
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00:04:33,101 --> 00:04:35,117
He is Europe's leading stress expert.
80
00:04:35,284 --> 00:04:37,391
They call him:" Stressperts!"
81
00:04:37,440 --> 00:04:39,189
Anyone interested in coming along
picking up
82
00:04:39,230 --> 00:04:40,689
a few tips on how to manage stress?
83
00:04:43,904 --> 00:04:45,459
There's a free buffet...
84
00:04:49,106 --> 00:04:49,900
Good!
85
00:04:50,320 --> 00:04:51,680
Good people.
86
00:04:51,933 --> 00:04:53,367
Oh! By the way!
87
00:04:53,494 --> 00:04:55,899
Anyone still experiencing stress
at the end of the day...
88
00:04:56,707 --> 00:04:59,527
will be fired!
89
00:05:00,197 --> 00:05:01,362
It's not going on!
90
00:05:01,415 --> 00:05:03,738
Yeah, I think it is so.
Just down angle it a bit more.
91
00:05:03,767 --> 00:05:05,511
Are you sure you're a 5?
92
00:05:05,563 --> 00:05:07,610
- I'm not a liar.
- Yeah, but I mean I can't...
93
00:05:09,174 --> 00:05:09,839
Just... just...
94
00:05:09,924 --> 00:05:11,948
I can feel the heel going into the shoe.
95
00:05:11,961 --> 00:05:13,045
Just down angle a bit more...
96
00:05:13,062 --> 00:05:14,489
There is no angle, but I could...
97
00:05:14,510 --> 00:05:15,722
Don't let me push you away!
98
00:05:15,736 --> 00:05:17,438
Just lean in with the shoe. Lean in...
99
00:05:17,573 --> 00:05:18,727
with the shoe!
100
00:05:18,820 --> 00:05:19,524
Lean in!
101
00:05:31,413 --> 00:05:33,405
We've been here... for half an hour.
102
00:05:33,880 --> 00:05:35,276
The shoes aren't going on!
103
00:05:35,290 --> 00:05:37,352
They're two sizes too small.
104
00:05:37,485 --> 00:05:38,980
And even if they did go on,
105
00:05:39,096 --> 00:05:40,271
they would cripple you.
106
00:05:40,579 --> 00:05:42,324
You don't want that, do you?
107
00:06:00,161 --> 00:06:02,726
I myself, have been subject to some...
108
00:06:03,064 --> 00:06:06,169
terrible rages, but... Yes?
109
00:06:06,608 --> 00:06:09,978
- I'm sorry. Is this the stress class?
- Oh yeah. Come on in.
110
00:06:10,241 --> 00:06:11,222
Thank you.
111
00:06:12,728 --> 00:06:14,161
Moss!
112
00:06:14,533 --> 00:06:18,988
This is in here! Moss!
113
00:06:23,593 --> 00:06:25,435
Just come in.
114
00:06:55,271 --> 00:06:56,418
Thank you.
115
00:07:11,774 --> 00:07:12,316
Ok.
116
00:07:15,450 --> 00:07:16,401
Are you all right?
117
00:07:18,893 --> 00:07:20,621
As I was saying...
118
00:07:20,811 --> 00:07:23,490
I myself have been subject
to some terrible rages.
119
00:07:23,768 --> 00:07:25,067
Where I've...
120
00:07:25,164 --> 00:07:27,621
snapped at my wife, or spoken harshly
121
00:07:27,869 --> 00:07:30,192
to a work colleague, because of stress.
122
00:07:30,330 --> 00:07:34,305
If I... just... thinking about it now,
I realise I'm...
123
00:07:34,388 --> 00:07:35,425
raising my voice.
124
00:07:35,881 --> 00:07:37,208
I'm sorry.
125
00:07:39,530 --> 00:07:42,158
Stress is the main cause
of heart attacks.
126
00:07:42,307 --> 00:07:45,277
And even a little bit... well...
127
00:07:46,484 --> 00:07:48,706
Let me show you what stress can do.
128
00:07:53,571 --> 00:07:55,466
I'm gonna need a volunteer.
129
00:07:56,503 --> 00:07:57,778
Yes. Come on up.
130
00:08:01,385 --> 00:08:04,364
That's fine. Can I have your left hand
there? The back?
131
00:08:04,434 --> 00:08:06,018
And just relax there.
132
00:08:06,249 --> 00:08:08,986
I'm gonna ask you
a very personal question.
133
00:08:10,410 --> 00:08:11,471
There we are, you see?
134
00:08:11,813 --> 00:08:13,534
Sorry, I'm not gonna ask you
anything at all.
135
00:08:13,542 --> 00:08:15,740
That's just to show how little is needed
136
00:08:15,758 --> 00:08:17,890
to send downstress levels shooting up.
137
00:08:17,898 --> 00:08:19,360
Just a simple statement like that
138
00:08:19,372 --> 00:08:21,346
is registered very strongly
on the display.
139
00:08:21,376 --> 00:08:22,815
- Yes, another volunteer?
- Yeah.
140
00:08:22,992 --> 00:08:23,531
Ok.
141
00:08:23,612 --> 00:08:24,772
I'll have... just this off.
142
00:08:27,151 --> 00:08:29,639
Ah! There it goes! Yes, raise up!
143
00:08:29,687 --> 00:08:31,588
Look at that! Brilliant!
144
00:08:31,711 --> 00:08:35,136
Brilliant, excellent!
It's a super machine!
145
00:08:42,202 --> 00:08:43,827
Wow, great shoes!
146
00:08:43,926 --> 00:08:44,995
Thank you very much.
147
00:08:46,310 --> 00:08:48,477
I really envy women with dainty feet.
148
00:08:48,588 --> 00:08:49,948
What are you? A five?
149
00:08:50,409 --> 00:08:52,763
Yeah! Five...
150
00:08:55,873 --> 00:09:00,025
Well, just a little
misunderstanding there I imagine. So...
151
00:09:00,216 --> 00:09:02,014
- Huh let's move on... with...
- Wow!
152
00:09:02,257 --> 00:09:04,796
I actually haven't had a proper go yet.
153
00:09:04,878 --> 00:09:07,426
Well, I don't need attach... can't,
what's happened there...
154
00:09:07,479 --> 00:09:09,196
Actually, I don't think that's fair...
155
00:09:09,210 --> 00:09:10,394
I would like a go, and I think
156
00:09:10,505 --> 00:09:13,038
Roy should be punished for
nearly killing that lady.
157
00:09:13,093 --> 00:09:15,042
Well, I think I should go first!
158
00:09:15,049 --> 00:09:16,110
I see, well let's move on...
159
00:09:16,124 --> 00:09:17,851
- When did you grow a bit?
- A little go.
160
00:09:17,878 --> 00:09:19,820
- We gotta move on...
- And I think we could...
161
00:09:20,100 --> 00:09:21,096
Can we just move on?
162
00:09:21,136 --> 00:09:23,114
You're old ? Are you very old?
163
00:09:23,133 --> 00:09:24,216
Let's move on!
164
00:09:25,930 --> 00:09:27,296
Oh! Shut up!
165
00:09:31,517 --> 00:09:32,589
What are you eating?
166
00:09:32,831 --> 00:09:33,850
Muffin.
167
00:09:34,040 --> 00:09:35,751
A muffin? How can you be hungry,
168
00:09:35,779 --> 00:09:37,834
you ate a whole chicken
at the stress buffet!
169
00:09:39,225 --> 00:09:40,027
What's that?
170
00:09:40,331 --> 00:09:42,015
Oh, I've made a stress machine
171
00:09:42,043 --> 00:09:44,641
to try out for myself,
like the one in that class.
172
00:09:44,825 --> 00:09:45,738
Watch this.
173
00:09:46,605 --> 00:09:49,686
I'm going to ask myself
a very personal question.
174
00:09:52,737 --> 00:09:56,262
Don't worry, I'm not really going
to ask myself any questions.
175
00:09:57,802 --> 00:09:59,026
Pretty good.
176
00:09:59,111 --> 00:10:01,947
Not as good as the one
in the stress class.
177
00:10:22,913 --> 00:10:24,469
The shoes!
178
00:10:26,612 --> 00:10:28,029
What was all that about?
179
00:10:28,253 --> 00:10:30,897
Well, like all the women,
she's shoe mad!
180
00:10:30,936 --> 00:10:32,457
It's a bit sexist, isn't it?
181
00:10:32,629 --> 00:10:35,032
Do you know one woman
who isn't obsessed with shoes?
182
00:10:35,118 --> 00:10:37,053
No, but I only know one woman.
183
00:10:37,226 --> 00:10:40,381
And she just left the room shouting:
"the shoes!".
184
00:11:01,757 --> 00:11:04,439
The needle's freaking out!
185
00:11:08,335 --> 00:11:10,260
Try not to hurt yourself!
186
00:11:14,268 --> 00:11:15,975
- Moss?
- Huh?
187
00:11:16,201 --> 00:11:19,182
Did you use a soldering iron
to make that stress machine?
188
00:11:19,226 --> 00:11:19,962
Yes.
189
00:11:20,332 --> 00:11:21,536
You turned it off?
190
00:11:21,626 --> 00:11:23,804
Oh I'm fairly sure I did!
191
00:11:25,798 --> 00:11:29,128
Because, you remember
what happened last time, right?
192
00:11:29,196 --> 00:11:31,032
Yes! That was very funny!
193
00:11:31,049 --> 00:11:32,363
Well no! No.
194
00:11:33,443 --> 00:11:36,141
It was very dangerous
and someone nearly died!
195
00:11:37,002 --> 00:11:38,304
Right! No! Yeah!
196
00:11:38,320 --> 00:11:41,227
I was thinking of a different incident.
The one on the golf course.
197
00:11:41,616 --> 00:11:42,605
What?
198
00:11:43,382 --> 00:11:45,428
I'm talking about the fire!
199
00:11:45,492 --> 00:11:49,230
Oh yeah, fire sorry! I always
get mixed up between golf and fire.
200
00:11:49,991 --> 00:11:52,315
- Just make sure it's off!
- It is off.
201
00:11:52,420 --> 00:11:53,260
I think.
202
00:11:53,772 --> 00:11:56,477
- Well just make sure it is.
- I will make sure it is.
203
00:11:57,330 --> 00:11:58,945
And if it's already off...
204
00:12:02,272 --> 00:12:04,195
I'll just walk away!
205
00:12:06,948 --> 00:12:11,410
Will he get off my back! What is he?
The soldering iron police?
206
00:12:14,075 --> 00:12:15,897
It's off...
207
00:12:16,062 --> 00:12:18,564
that means I turn it... on...
208
00:12:18,893 --> 00:12:20,882
and just walk away!
209
00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:49,174
Oh four! I mean five!
210
00:12:49,258 --> 00:12:50,443
I mean fire!
211
00:13:00,163 --> 00:13:02,555
Now let's see what we have here.
212
00:13:03,032 --> 00:13:05,212
"Stand upright."
213
00:13:06,659 --> 00:13:08,181
Now, I can't read it...
214
00:13:08,691 --> 00:13:09,846
Oh, not me!
215
00:13:10,017 --> 00:13:12,210
I am a giddy-goat!
216
00:13:13,716 --> 00:13:14,584
Okay.
217
00:13:14,851 --> 00:13:16,752
"Remove safety clip."
218
00:13:18,359 --> 00:13:20,712
- Don't look at my feet!
- Fire?
219
00:13:21,187 --> 00:13:22,434
Fire...
220
00:13:23,253 --> 00:13:23,841
No...?
221
00:13:25,345 --> 00:13:28,152
"Aim nozzle at base of fire."
222
00:13:33,547 --> 00:13:35,701
Oh, that is typical!
223
00:13:37,445 --> 00:13:38,984
Why has it done that?
224
00:13:39,098 --> 00:13:41,109
"Made in Britain"
225
00:13:49,109 --> 00:13:51,674
I'll just put this over here,
with the rest...
226
00:13:51,936 --> 00:13:53,314
of the fire.
227
00:14:00,017 --> 00:14:02,453
011 53... No.
228
00:14:02,661 --> 00:14:04,712
011 huh...
229
00:14:06,251 --> 00:14:09,136
0118 999...
230
00:14:12,053 --> 00:14:13,188
...3!
231
00:14:14,403 --> 00:14:17,209
Hello? Is this the emergency services?
232
00:14:18,189 --> 00:14:20,142
Then which country am I speaking to?
233
00:14:20,447 --> 00:14:22,463
Hello? Hello?
234
00:14:24,387 --> 00:14:25,741
I know! Yep.
235
00:14:27,296 --> 00:14:28,260
O kay.
236
00:14:28,998 --> 00:14:30,434
"Subject:..."
237
00:14:30,639 --> 00:14:31,747
"...fire!"
238
00:14:31,932 --> 00:14:33,860
"Dear Sir", stroke, "Madam."
239
00:14:33,898 --> 00:14:36,069
"I'm writing to inform you of a fire
240
00:14:36,096 --> 00:14:38,109
"which has broken out
at the premises of..."
241
00:14:38,198 --> 00:14:39,570
No. That's too formal.
242
00:14:43,906 --> 00:14:46,204
"Dear Sir", stroke, "Madam."
243
00:14:46,483 --> 00:14:48,797
"Fire!", exclamation mark.
244
00:14:49,092 --> 00:14:51,505
"Fire!", exclamation mark.
245
00:14:51,652 --> 00:14:54,156
"Help me!', exclamation mark.
246
00:14:54,285 --> 00:14:56,644
"123, Carendon road."
247
00:14:56,823 --> 00:14:59,131
"Looking forward to hearing from you."
248
00:14:59,403 --> 00:15:02,136
"All the best, Maurice Moss."
249
00:15:05,854 --> 00:15:10,095
What are you wearing size 5 shoes for,
woman? You're at least an 8!
250
00:15:10,130 --> 00:15:10,962
Eight?
251
00:15:11,021 --> 00:15:12,224
How dare you?!
252
00:15:12,276 --> 00:15:14,981
That foot is completely mangled.
253
00:15:15,387 --> 00:15:17,438
And the other one's even worse.
254
00:15:17,644 --> 00:15:19,404
You're not wearing these again.
255
00:15:19,459 --> 00:15:21,744
But I threw away my other shoes,
256
00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:24,001
what am I supposed to wear?
257
00:15:35,749 --> 00:15:38,159
Hello! Hello!
258
00:15:38,313 --> 00:15:41,185
Do you remember me?
Can I have a go in your machine now?
259
00:15:58,692 --> 00:16:01,071
- Oh hello again!
- Oh hi!
260
00:16:05,834 --> 00:16:09,801
Please thank Yamamoto San
for this fine ceremonial sword.
261
00:16:09,971 --> 00:16:12,713
It is a magnificent symbol
of our new merger.
262
00:16:15,695 --> 00:16:17,254
I am sorry that my gift...
263
00:16:17,402 --> 00:16:19,207
a huge pair of Doc' Martins,
264
00:16:19,640 --> 00:16:22,018
is extremely thick and heavy sorts.
265
00:16:22,260 --> 00:16:24,374
It's so poultry in comparison.
266
00:16:27,860 --> 00:16:30,645
Please rest assured
that my cultural advisor will be fired
267
00:16:30,689 --> 00:16:32,569
as soon as this meeting is over.
268
00:16:42,371 --> 00:16:44,394
- These are very heavy shoes.
- Yes.
269
00:16:48,004 --> 00:16:49,912
He feels like... Godzilla!
270
00:16:50,764 --> 00:16:51,504
Does he?
271
00:16:51,540 --> 00:16:52,280
Godzilla!
272
00:16:52,314 --> 00:16:54,146
Go on! Stamp your feet!
273
00:16:54,244 --> 00:16:55,596
Clap him man!
274
00:16:55,688 --> 00:16:56,436
Good!
275
00:16:57,753 --> 00:16:59,261
Oh yeah! Godzilla loves it !
276
00:16:59,303 --> 00:17:01,929
Go on! Break something!
277
00:17:05,558 --> 00:17:07,800
Put your weight into it!
278
00:17:09,751 --> 00:17:12,075
You f...... idiot!!
279
00:17:13,851 --> 00:17:15,334
You stupid old f.......
280
00:17:15,764 --> 00:17:17,395
You f....... J..........
281
00:17:17,602 --> 00:17:20,334
and your big m.... shoes!
282
00:17:20,592 --> 00:17:25,605
Oh you're not! You're nothing!
But I f... ....
283
00:17:51,464 --> 00:17:55,766
- I am... so... sorry, Denholm.
- That was quite a tarring Jen.
284
00:17:56,408 --> 00:17:57,617
It would have been even worse
285
00:17:57,653 --> 00:18:00,221
if Paul hadn't been so quick
on the profanity buzzer.
286
00:18:00,974 --> 00:18:01,972
Well done, Paul!
287
00:18:02,007 --> 00:18:03,751
You're back on the payroll.
288
00:18:04,209 --> 00:18:05,878
As for you... you're fucked up!
289
00:18:06,883 --> 00:18:08,801
Shouting at Japs! Mad feet!
290
00:18:08,910 --> 00:18:10,787
Both classic signs of stress!
291
00:18:10,845 --> 00:18:12,741
And you know how I feel about stress...
292
00:18:13,215 --> 00:18:15,269
Go to your office, and wait for me.
293
00:18:26,032 --> 00:18:29,320
Weirdest thing just happened... Fire!
294
00:18:29,621 --> 00:18:30,806
Fire!
295
00:18:30,944 --> 00:18:32,719
I've sent an e-mail. It's fine!
296
00:18:33,230 --> 00:18:35,485
An e-mail?! It's a fire! Where...
297
00:18:36,403 --> 00:18:38,364
Where is the precinct extinguisher ?
298
00:18:41,916 --> 00:18:46,012
- Made in Britain!
- This is just like the golf incident!
299
00:18:46,080 --> 00:18:47,201
You mean the fire incident?
300
00:18:47,217 --> 00:18:49,512
I mean the fire incident!
Of course I mean the fire incident!
301
00:18:49,536 --> 00:18:50,524
What have you got there?
302
00:18:50,558 --> 00:18:52,036
Oh I'm in trouble! I'm in real trouble!
303
00:18:52,064 --> 00:18:53,979
Help me get my shoes on!
I gotta get my shoes on!
304
00:18:54,020 --> 00:18:55,767
Help me get my shoes on
before Denholm comes!
305
00:18:55,795 --> 00:18:56,953
- Denholm's coming?
- Yeah.
306
00:18:56,964 --> 00:18:58,701
And he's got a... fire! Fire! Fire!
307
00:18:59,607 --> 00:19:02,083
I've taken care of it.
308
00:19:02,097 --> 00:19:04,543
I have to say I feel a little bit
insulted
309
00:19:04,561 --> 00:19:06,509
by the lack of faith you both display.
310
00:19:06,532 --> 00:19:08,196
What happened to your feet?
311
00:19:08,222 --> 00:19:09,013
What is this?
312
00:19:09,047 --> 00:19:10,657
I think a fire in the office
313
00:19:10,703 --> 00:19:13,312
demands a little more attention
than my feet, don't you?
314
00:19:13,329 --> 00:19:15,376
How... how did you get
the stress machine Roy?
315
00:19:15,464 --> 00:19:17,386
I... don't really know.
316
00:19:17,503 --> 00:19:20,452
Met Dr. Holmes by the lift.
317
00:19:20,529 --> 00:19:22,838
Wasn't he nice?
I thought he was a lovely man.
318
00:19:22,863 --> 00:19:24,472
Yes I thought he was a delight.
319
00:19:24,556 --> 00:19:29,659
But I met him there by the lift,
and he just went... mental!
320
00:19:30,672 --> 00:19:34,766
And one thing led to another
and I just... stole it!
321
00:19:35,176 --> 00:19:37,475
- You stole it...
- Yeah!
322
00:19:38,078 --> 00:19:39,795
But that's stealing!
323
00:19:40,616 --> 00:19:41,423
Yeah!
324
00:19:41,589 --> 00:19:44,644
Didn't know what a stress machine was
this morning and now we have 2 of them.
325
00:19:44,702 --> 00:19:46,880
I hate to remind everyone but
326
00:19:47,002 --> 00:19:48,133
I've just destroyed a merger
327
00:19:48,134 --> 00:19:50,113
that probably took hundreds of years
to set up,
328
00:19:50,209 --> 00:19:52,707
the office is on fire,
Denholm is furious, so
329
00:19:52,735 --> 00:19:54,770
could we please concentrate
on what's important,
330
00:19:54,950 --> 00:19:57,198
and help me out with my shoes!
331
00:19:57,298 --> 00:19:58,890
That could get you into trouble!
332
00:19:59,808 --> 00:20:00,914
Empty!
333
00:20:02,637 --> 00:20:03,964
Got a little bit there!
334
00:20:04,654 --> 00:20:07,070
Oh quick! No, no! Quick, no!
335
00:20:07,103 --> 00:20:08,734
These are a size 5...
336
00:20:08,869 --> 00:20:10,607
What are you, eight and a half?
337
00:20:10,671 --> 00:20:11,860
Shut up!
338
00:20:12,032 --> 00:20:13,582
- Come on!
- I'm pushing!
339
00:20:13,619 --> 00:20:15,438
Push it! Oh don't let me push you away!
340
00:20:15,445 --> 00:20:17,342
- Is it in?
- Come on!
341
00:20:17,386 --> 00:20:19,050
Push hard guy!
342
00:20:21,583 --> 00:20:23,313
The heel went right through!
343
00:20:23,329 --> 00:20:25,555
Oh my God it hurts so much!
344
00:20:26,640 --> 00:20:29,119
- Oh now, I'm bleeding!
- Jen!
345
00:20:29,791 --> 00:20:31,420
- Where are you Jen?
- It's Denholm!
346
00:20:31,528 --> 00:20:32,588
What?
347
00:20:33,452 --> 00:20:35,290
Hide the stress machine!
348
00:20:35,373 --> 00:20:37,923
The stress machine?
What about the fire?!
349
00:20:37,963 --> 00:20:40,188
Ok! Put the stress machine
in Jen's room!
350
00:20:40,203 --> 00:20:42,142
- He'll never go in there!
- But what if he does?
351
00:20:42,157 --> 00:20:43,871
It doesn't matter!
He won't know what it is!
352
00:20:43,936 --> 00:20:45,664
I can't go to prison Roy!
353
00:20:45,743 --> 00:20:47,491
They'll rape the flip out of me!
354
00:20:51,394 --> 00:20:53,122
You! Stall him by the door!
355
00:20:53,154 --> 00:20:54,703
I stall... How?
356
00:20:54,765 --> 00:20:56,441
I don't know! Use your womanly ways!
357
00:20:56,508 --> 00:20:59,187
Ok Moss! Pass me that monitor screen.
The broken one.
358
00:21:02,257 --> 00:21:03,284
There you are!
359
00:21:03,951 --> 00:21:04,794
Hello there!
360
00:21:04,913 --> 00:21:07,213
It's no use being womanly with me Jen!
361
00:21:07,541 --> 00:21:08,974
You're in big trouble!
362
00:21:10,881 --> 00:21:11,802
Nice screensaver!
363
00:21:15,090 --> 00:21:16,091
Thank you.
364
00:21:20,395 --> 00:21:21,674
A stress machine!
365
00:21:22,140 --> 00:21:23,302
Just what we need!
366
00:21:23,861 --> 00:21:25,230
Roll up your sleeves, Jen.
367
00:21:25,406 --> 00:21:26,602
Let's get this over with.
368
00:21:29,208 --> 00:21:31,807
It's a one way ticket
to slammer town for us Roy.
369
00:21:31,862 --> 00:21:33,403
With no return ticket!
370
00:21:36,094 --> 00:21:39,524
I really am losing quite a lot of blood!
371
00:21:39,677 --> 00:21:41,469
You understand this is your last chance?
372
00:21:41,668 --> 00:21:43,090
If the needle goes beyond here...
373
00:21:43,222 --> 00:21:44,494
you will be fired!
374
00:21:45,412 --> 00:21:47,015
Does that make you feel stressed?
375
00:21:47,425 --> 00:21:49,153
Jen! Does it?
376
00:21:49,369 --> 00:21:50,709
No? Are you sure?
377
00:21:50,872 --> 00:21:51,757
Are you sure?
378
00:21:52,130 --> 00:21:53,077
Are you sure?
379
00:21:53,316 --> 00:21:54,148
Are you sure?
380
00:21:54,439 --> 00:21:55,333
Are you sure?
381
00:21:55,669 --> 00:21:56,590
Are you sure?
382
00:21:56,848 --> 00:21:57,784
Are you sure?
383
00:21:58,092 --> 00:21:59,074
Are you sure?
384
00:21:59,254 --> 00:22:00,208
Are you sure?
385
00:22:00,443 --> 00:22:01,576
Are you sure?
386
00:22:01,673 --> 00:22:02,696
Are you sure?
387
00:22:02,903 --> 00:22:03,885
Are you sure?
388
00:22:03,982 --> 00:22:05,502
I'll level with you Roy.
389
00:22:05,572 --> 00:22:08,185
I don't think I'd flourish
in a prison environment.
390
00:22:10,081 --> 00:22:11,874
Could I try on your new glasses?
391
00:22:13,192 --> 00:22:14,574
See this balloon, Jen?
392
00:22:15,044 --> 00:22:16,454
I'm gonna burst it.
393
00:22:16,648 --> 00:22:18,155
But I'm not gonna tell you when...
394
00:22:19,720 --> 00:22:22,095
Do you feel stressed Jen? Jen? Jen?
395
00:22:22,228 --> 00:22:23,144
Look at that!
396
00:22:24,660 --> 00:22:26,005
That's your peace of mind!
397
00:22:26,102 --> 00:22:27,421
And it's gonna go bang!
398
00:22:28,553 --> 00:22:30,287
Do you feel stress now, Jen?
399
00:22:30,405 --> 00:22:30,892
Jen!
400
00:22:32,743 --> 00:22:36,130
Jen! Jen! Do you?!
401
00:22:37,705 --> 00:22:38,950
Evidently not.
402
00:22:40,332 --> 00:22:41,905
Well done Jen!
403
00:22:42,250 --> 00:22:44,289
You're not being fired by me...
404
00:22:44,497 --> 00:22:45,966
at this precise moment.
405
00:22:51,115 --> 00:22:54,028
I love the way the smoke
seems to be coming off the top of it.
406
00:22:56,573 --> 00:22:57,934
Just a second...
407
00:23:00,483 --> 00:23:01,844
I'm late for golf!
408
00:23:09,114 --> 00:23:11,341
I wonder why it didn't work...
409
00:23:12,928 --> 00:23:15,291
"Made In Britain"
410
00:23:17,687 --> 00:23:19,980
I don't know if it's the loss of blood
411
00:23:20,001 --> 00:23:24,011
or the melting plastic from the monitor
but I feel great!
412
00:23:26,646 --> 00:23:30,534
It's so ironic but this entire situation
has been quite stressful.
413
00:23:32,327 --> 00:23:33,624
I'll get help...
414
00:23:36,695 --> 00:23:39,315
You sent an e-mail about a fire?
28536
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