All language subtitles for French.Girl.2024.720p.AMZN.WEBRip.800MB.x264-GalaxyRG.Hi

["FOR ME, FORMIDABLE" PLAYING]

♪ You are the one
For me, for me ♪

♪ For me, formidable ♪

♪ You are my love Very,
very, very, véritable ♪

♪ Et je voudrais pouvoir
Un jour enfin te le dire ♪

♪ Te I'écrire

♪ Dans la langue
De Shakespeare ♪

♪ My daisy, daisy
Daisy, désirable ♪

♪ But how can you see me

♪ See me, see me, si minable ♪

♪ Je ferais mieux

♪ D'aller choisir
Mon vocabulaire ♪

♪ Pour te plaire

♪ Dans la langue de Molière ♪

♪ Toi, tes eyes, ton
nose Tes lips adorables ♪

♪ Tu n'as pas compris...

[BEEPING]

♪ Viens-t'en dans mes bras ♪

♪ Darling I love you, love you ♪

♪ Darling, I want you ♪

♪ Et puis le reste
On s'en fout ♪

♪ You are the one for me ♪

♪ For me, for me, formidable ♪

♪ Je me demande même
Pourquoi je t'aime ♪

♪ Toi qui te moques
de moi Et de tout ♪

♪ Avec ton air
canaille Canaille ♪

♪ Canaille, how can I ♪

GORDON: Voilà!

♪ Love you?

- Gordon?
- Mm-hmm?

Why does it smell
like burnt toast?

Because I made you breakfast.

[IN FRENCH] Sweetie!

[IN ENGLISH] Yeah, check it out!

What is it?

What do you mean, "What is it"?
It's clearly eggs Benedict.

Oh, wow! Yeah.

I wanted to do
something extra special.

- Yeah, get in there.
- SOPHIE: Mm!

Mayonnaise?

Yeah, it said hollandaise
in the recipe,

but isn't that just
French for "mayonnaise"?

Mayonnaise is French
for mayonnaise.

Oh. What's hollandaise?
Hollandaise.

"Hollandaise."[CHUCKLES] - I should have made you cereal.
- SOPHIE: Stop it!

It did look better. - In the picture.
- Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

Stop it. Come here.

It's perfect. Happy
last day of school.

In a few days, we're gonna
be in the Adirondacks,

and we're gonna eat amazing food

and we're gonna drink
lots of beautiful wine.

And sex.

♪ We got it together
Didn't we? ♪

- Lots of sex.
- You're a miracle.

♪ Nobody but you and me

Why not now?

["YOU'RE THE FIRST, THE
LAST, MY EVERYTHING" PLAYING]

♪ My first, my last

♪ My everything

♪ And the answer to...

[BELL RINGS]

♪ All my dreams ♪

♪ You're my sun, my moon

♪ My guiding star

♪ My kind of wonderful...

SOPHIE: Where's my bone broth?

Carrots are fucking
perfect, girls!

♪ I know there's only
Only one like you... ♪

Good morning, Jerry!

Cool shoes!

- TODD: Mr. Kinski!
- Yeah, buddy. I'm sorry.

Mr. Kinski, thank you
for the extension.

You're a lifesaver.

Under the wire, Todd. I knew you
had it in you![SCHOOL BELL RINGING]

♪ Yet I'm lost in a dream ♪

♪ You're the first
You're the last ♪

♪ My everything ♪

- Whoa! There she is!
- Hey, Vinny!

Saw that review. So, I guess
I won't be able to get a table

no more now that the Times

thinks you're the
next Nancy Silverton.

When you have the best
heirlooms in town,

you always get a table.

What if you used
to work with her?

- Ruby... [CHUCKLES] Hi!
- RUBY: Hello, Sophie.

- It's been a while.
- Yeah, wow. [CHUCKLES]

Almost three years.

You look great.

Oh, thank you. My,
um, Pretty Woman look.

Oh! How much?
[LAUGHS][SOPHIE LAUGHS]

What are you doing. - In New York City?
- RUBY: Actually, looking for you.

[CHUCKLES] Oh, boy.

GORDON: "Doubt thou
the stars are fire",

doubt that the sun doth move,

doubt truth to be a liar,

but never doubt I love."Is
that Billie Eilish?

Billie Shakespeare.
Greatest bard to ever live.

Now, do any of you know why I
chose to write much of my work

in what's called
iambic pentameter?

STUDENTS: No.

It's because it mimics the
beating of the human heart.

Da-dum, da-dum, da-dum.

What better way to
express love... and loss

and the brevity of human life

than the very ticking clock
that's in all of our chests?

[TAPPING ON GLASS]

[MOUTHING]

Excuse me! My lady doth beckon!

STUDENTS: Ooh!

Um, discuss only Shakespeare.
- Do I have your word? - STUDENT 1: Definitely not.

STUDENT 2: It's summer
break in, like, an hour.

Mm. Twirl a little?

- Huh?
- SOPHIE: Oh!

You know what
pantaloons do to me.

Well, guess what?
I'm gonna bring

this entire outfit
on our vacation.

Um...

What? Why are you
not saying anything?

Still not saying anything.
Please say something.

I've been asked to interview,

for the executive chef
position at the Frontenac.

The Frontenac! That's amazing!

That's the new place
in Greenpoint, right?

I don't know what they
cook. I know It's fusion.

- They fuse something.
- No,

it's the Château Frontenac
in... in Quebec City.

- Quebec City, Canada.
- Yeah.

- A little further north.
- They're opening a new restaurant

with this girl I
used to work with.

Ruby Collins. Did I mention her?

- No. Not to me.
- No?

I was her sous-chef, and
now she's this huge deal,

with, like, a Michelin star

and cookbooks and
her own show and...

So, you'd be moving home.

Oh, my God, no. It's...
it's not an offer.

She's just inviting three chefs
to, you know, refine her menu,

and then she'll decide
who gets the job.

And when... when's
all this happening?

I haven't said yes yet.

I, um, I wanted to
talk to you first

because it would get in the
way of our trip upstate.

Well, babe, are you kidding me?
Of course you have to say yes!

This is everything
you've worked for.

I mean, absolutely!

This is... This sounds
like a very big deal.

What if I get it?

[UPBEAT JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING]

[BEEPS] Dad! Dad, please
be home. I'm in a hurry.

I have 17 minutes
before my next class.

My life hangs in the
balance, Dad.[GROANS]

I swore I wouldn't leave

until I finished
writing chapter five.

Which reminds me, I need you
to pick up my gout medication.

Enough with the intercom talk.
I'm in a hurry. Buzz me in!

[DOOR LOCK BUZZES, UNLOCKS]

I was this close, Gord. Not
to riddle you with guilt...

But you will... but
I was right there.

I was on the cusp of
figuring out why Mr. Devereux

is suddenly called to the
stand by his paramour.

[SIGHS] But enough
about my shitty book.

- What's your big emergency?
- Isn't it a little early for Scotch, Dad?

With your gout also.

Not when you've had writer's
block for two months.

Gotta fuel the fire of
creativity. Help yourself.

You know, they... they tend
to frown on day drinking

when you teach middle
school. I want to talk to you

- about Sophie.
- PETER: Aw!

- Well, it was never gonna last.
- No, we're not breaking up.

When it happens, I'll be
here, wasting away on a novel

that won't even make
it to an airport kiosk!

Can you listen to
me for one second?

She just got offered this huge
job interview in Quebec City.

And whether she gets it or not,
I realized that she's the one.

I don't wanna be with
anyone else ever again.

And... and I'm gonna
fly up there with her.

- Flying?
- Yeah.

You haven't been on a
plane since you were 13.

You remember. - How that panic attack went?
- GORDON: I know.

Luckily for the passengers,

my little arms
weren't strong enough

to get the emergency hatch out.

But... [INHALES]
...I'm gonna do it.

And that leaves me to the
real reason I'm here...

Mom's ring.

- My God!
- Yeah.

My son is a genius!

- How so?
- Marrying Sophie to get Canadian citizenship.

- It's brilliant!
- No, Dad, I...

It's gotta be a formality to
get your old man a passport.

This country has been
in a goddamn free fall

since Vietnam! We
gotta get up there

- and beat the rush.
- It's not an immigration ploy. She's my soulmate!

Say it just like that to
the people at the border.

- Dad, where is the ring?
- The ring. The...

Yes, of course. The ring.

Mr. Devereux left it
in Daphne's carriage!

That's how she knew!

That's how I end this
godforsaken chapter!

I'm gonna go check your bedroom.

GINETTE: [IN FRENCH] I'm
so excited to see you!

SOPHIE: I know, Mom.

He's so excited
to meet everyone.

GINETTE: Did you
tell him about Ruby?

Yeah, I told him about Ruby.

GINETTE: How did he take it?

Well, not the
whole story, but...

GINETTE: You have to tell him!

Listen, Mom, I have to go.
Can you just tell Dad...

Listen to me!

GINETTE: No, you listen!

Tell him we're landing at 4:00.

GINETTE: I will, but
promise you'll tell him.

- I love you. Kisses.
- GINETTE: I love you too!

Shit.

[IN ENGLISH] Check
out this bling. What?

I know. It belonged to
my great-grandmother,

Gertrude. She came all the way
from Ireland aboard the Titanic.

Isn't that crazy? Against
all odds, it survived,

even though she was
down in third class,

river dancing with
Leo. Isn't she nice?

[RING CLATTERS]
Whoa! Whoa, whoa.

Okay. Who's got eyes on it?

Don't move an inch.
Nobody move an inch!

That is a precious heirloom.

Look down and see
if you see sparkle.

- I got it!
- Thank you. Whoo!

You just went from a B to
an A, young lady. [CHUCKLES]

- Why is it rusty?
- It's not rusty. It's an antique.

That's not even a diamond.

It's a diamond, trust me.

It's just cloudy
from the seawater.

Diamonds are a tool of
emotional manipulation

- contrived by baby boomers.
- Okay, Greta Thunberg, thank you.

Show and tell is over.
You guys are a bad buzz.

- SAMUEL: Mr. Kinski?
- Yes, Samuel, go for it.

I think he's gonna say yes.

Okay, well, he is a woman.
And I hope that she says yes.

I mean, she doesn't care
about material wealth,

like some people. She
likes simple things.

- Then you're her man!
- GORDON: Hilarious.

Chase, I told you to try out
for improv. You chose hockey.

All right, let's get into this.

[SCHOOL BELL RINGS] Oh,
man! I really am late.

I'm so sorry. Have
a great summer!

And, uh, please read!

The future of humanity
depends on it.

Franklin, up high.

FLIGHT ATTENDANT ON PA:
Ladies and gentlemen,

if you could please return
to your seats and buckle up,

we're going through
a little turbulence.

We'll resume drink service
momentarily. Thank you.

That's a lot of shaking, huh?

- I think that's too much shaking.
- SOPHIE: It's supposed to shake.

It's like a car on a
country road. It's fine.

I don't know if you clocked
the flight attendant.

Not smiling. And they're
trained to smile.

Okay, let me distract myself

by working on the
things I memorized.

Your father's name is Alphonse.
Your mother's name is Ginette.

They met in high school. Your
sister's name is Juliette.

- She just had a baby.
- Yep.

And her baby daddy left her
and went back to Romania,

so your brother,
Junior, hates him.

But he's gonna love me

if I bring up
mixed martial arts.

Do you have any idea how hard

this molecular
gastronomy stuff is?

I... I... - I really have to focus.
- Okay, focus, babe.

- No more from me.
- Thank you.

I'll just study the safety card.

These people on here
look way too happy.

Who'd be smiling
if this happened?

Why are they so happy
going down the slide?

Did you watch the
safety demonstration?

I don't even know where my
raft is. Where's your raft?

Babe, if we crash, there's
no swimming or rafting.

There's nothing, except
maybe the black box.

- Why would you say that?
- Babe, come on, I gotta focus!

Okay, but wow! Wow, wow!
That's not even funny.

- Is that a pill?
- GORDON: Yeah, my father gave it to me.

It's a relaxant. He knows
I'm not a great flyer.

- He said it'll take the edge off.
- But you're drinking wine.

Baby I've had only three
and a half glasses.

I'm not flying the damn thing.

Ay, ay, ay.

Wow!

All right. Now, I can relax.

ANNOUNCER ON PA: [IN FRENCH] Welcome
to Quebec City. GORDON: Thank you!

[IN ENGLISH] I dunno, Peter,
what color the pill was.

- Yellow-ish?
- It tasted yellow-ish.

PETER: Hang on a second.

Baby, I can't feel my face.

Can you feel your
face? Check your face.

PETER: Oh, shit, Sophie!

There's a fifty-fifty
I gave him a Quaalude

instead of a Valium.

- A Quaalude?
- PETER: Listen, the '80s were fucking bananas, man.

Well, the '80s is happening
to your son's brain right now.

PETER: Well, tell him
to have a good time.

It should wear off
in a couple hours.

- A couple of hours?
- Do you know how much I love this woman?

- I gotta go.
- I love you!

Gordon, Gordon. You're shouting.

You're shouting.

Oh. My God. Get it
together, Gordon.

Are you mad at me? I'm
sorry, babe.[SOPHIE SIGHS]

My father says you're
gonna break up with me.

I'm not gonna break
up with you, Gordon.

You should! [SOBS] - I don't deserve you.
- Gordon, look at me.

My parents... Oh!

Are right outside
those doors, okay?

I'll explain to
them what happened.

You just need to
stay in the chair.

- Stay in the chair.
- SOPHIE: Mm. And...

- Not going anywhere.
- SOPHIE: Don't say anything stupid.

I'm not even gonna talk,
except to say that I love them.

I really need you right
now to get it together.

Can you get it together?

[IN FRENCH] I don't know
why she brought him.

You promised you'd be nice.

If she gets the job, I won't
have to be nice for long.

Hey.[LAUGHS]

[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY
IN ENGLISH]

[IN FRENCH] He's handicapped.

She never said he
was handicapped.

Yes, but we're gonna
support our daughter.

Whether he's handicapped,
American or anything else.

Hi!

[IN ENGLISH] Hey![SOPHIE
EXCLAIMS, LAUGHS]

[ALL EXCLAIM]

[IN FRENCH] I swore
I wouldn't cry.

If you start crying, I'm
definitely gonna cry.

- [CHUCKLES] My little girl.
- SOPHIE: Daddy.

Um, I should tell you guys...

There was an incident with
some medication Gordon took.

Gordon?

GORDON: [IN ENGLISH]
Honey, I found the bag!

No, Gordon, Gordon, no, no, no!

You don't... you
don't need to do that!

My bag is trying to
go back on the plane!

[IN FRENCH] He seems nice.

[DOOR BUZZING] Are
the drugs a problem?

Dad, I already explained.

Hmm.

[SIGHS][CELLPHONE CHIMES]

[SIGHS]

[DOOR BUZZING] GORDON: [IN
ENGLISH] Okay, be cool.

Hey, guys, I am so sorry!

I... I hope that she explained
to you everything that happened.

My father roofied me. But
I'm feeling a lot better.

And the good news is

they're not gonna
press any charges

about riding their
baggage claim.[SIGHS]

Let's start over.

Ginette, Alphonse, it's
so nice to meet you.

[IN FRENCH] Okay, let's go.

Parking is gonna
cost me a fortune.

[IN ENGLISH] Let me
help you with the bag.

Okay, I'll help her.

Let me help you,
please, Ginette.

- [IN FRENCH] That's nice of you.
- GORDON: [IN ENGLISH] Thank you.

- Okay. Let's start over. Okay?
- GINETTE: [IN FRENCH] Yes!

- [IN ENGLISH] We're all friends.
- Okay.

["DANS LES RUES DE
QUEÉBEC" PLAYING]

[CHURCH BELL TOLLING]

GORDON: Look at this
place. Unbelievable.

Four hundred years of history!

Are those the infamous
Plains of Abraham

where General Montcalm
and General Wolfe

fought to the death?

Mm! Someone did their homework.

Down with the Brits, I say!
That's something we Americans

and you French have in common.

There it is, baby.
The Frontenac.

GORDON: Oh! You didn't tell
me it was an actual castle.

- That's where you're gonna work?
- I mean, we'll see.

[IN FRENCH] It's a done deal.

[IN ENGLISH] Sophie said
you hand-built the house

with your father
when you were a kid?

Two years of blood and sweat.

Wow! The pictures
don't do it justice!

Look at that flagstone, the
masonry! That's a lost art.

TREMBLAY FARM

You know, I'm a bit
of a builder myself.

Not houses like
this masterpiece,

but are you familiar with the
Lego architectural series?

Yeah, they say 13 and up,

but if you're not in your
20s, forget about it!

[IN FRENCH] Yeah, you have
to be very meticulous.

[IN ENGLISH] Yeah. Yeah. I
just finished the Taj Mahal.

And this one was
particularly hard,

right, babe? 'Cause
I bought it on eBay,

and the instructions
were in Korean.

SOPHIE: [IN FRENCH]
Oh my God... Oh.

Everyone's here!

Why didn't you tell me? Hi!

Your hair is so long!

[IN ENGLISH] Yeah, that's
what he wants to hear,

that you play with toys.
You fucking idiot. Hey!

[IN FRENCH] Guys, I can't
believe you're here!

JUNIOR: You didn't
forget about us?

Never in a million years.

- Meet your nephew, Laurent.
- Laurent!

[LAURENT COOS]

SOPHIE: Mammie... [SMOOCHES]

As beautiful as ever!

[CHUCKLES]

There's my sister!

SOPHIE: [IN ENGLISH]
Hello![JUNIOR CHUCKLES]

[IN FRENCH] Check
out these arms! Wow!

[CHUCKLES]

[IN ENGLISH] Gordon,
come, come meet my family.

Hi!

[IN FRENCH] Everyone, I want you
to meet my boyfriend, Gordon.

It's his first time in
Quebec, so please be nice.

- Especially you.
- What?

Look at him. Nervous
as a squirrel.

Hey... Does he
understand anything?

I don't know. Does
he speak French?

[IN ENGLISH] No, no, no,
I... I understand French,

actually pretty well,
thanks to her tutelage.

But my speaking is a little
com me ci, com me ça.

Oh, no, your French is
great, honey. For real.

Ah! [CHUCKLES] We'll see.

Um. Okay, so, - this is my cousin Patrice.
- Hi!

SOPHIE: My aunt, Claudette, my uncle,
Michel... GORDON: So nice to meet you.

SOPHIE: My sister, Juliette,
and her baby, Laurent...

- Laurent!
- SOPHIE: And my brother, Junior.

And last but not
least, Mammie Tremblay.

Well, of course I've
heard about Mammie!

Gotta kiss the cheek
of the matriarch!

[SMOOCHES]

[IN FRENCH] Wow, this guy
doesn't waste any time.

[IN ENGLISH] No, no, no, - I'm so sorry.
- MAMMIE: Oh, my God!

[IN FRENCH] Roger, we can't.
My parents are inside.

Mammie, it's not
Roger, it's Gordon.

Sophie's boyfriend.

Come inside, Mom. I'll
make you some tea.

- MAMMIE: Oh!
- GORDON: [IN ENGLISH] I'm so sorry.

- She has dementia.
- Oh, okay. Okay, yeah.

My... my uncle Lester has
dementia, so I understand.

I've been there. Is it harder
on them or on us? I mean...

[IN FRENCH] Junior! Want a beer?

JUNIOR: Come on, Dad.

[OVERLAPPING CHATTER]

[IN ENGLISH] Of course, I
never kissed my uncle Lester,

but...[LAMB BLEATING]

I'll get the bags!

[COUCOU HONKING]

Aw! Hey, little buddy! My
majestic, feathered friend.

What's your name? Oh![HONKS]

Shit! How are you this fast?

["J'T'AIME COMME
UN FOU" PLAYING]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

[IN FRENCH] Oh no, - I left Gordon with all the bags.
- Oh!

[IN ENGLISH] Oh, babe,
I'm so sorry. You okay?

Yeah, I got it
all, I got it all.

I just got attacked by
a white pterodactyl.

Oh, yeah, that's Coucou.
She's, uh, our swan.

She's lived on the farm forever.
She can be a bit cranky.

I don't think she's a fan yet,
but I'm gonna win her over.

[CHUCKLES] This place. - Is so cute.
- SOPHIE: [CHUCKLES] Thank you.

Where are we staying?
Where should I put...

Um, so, my sister and her baby

are going to be sleeping
in our old room,

so we'll be taking my brother's,

which is, um, straight up the
stairs, second on the left.

- You want some help?
- No, I got it. Go talk to your family.

- I'm fine!
- SOPHIE: You sure? All right. You okay?

Yeah, I got it. I got it.
Go talk to your family.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

GORDON: Hello!

[WHIMSICAL MUSIC
PLAYING][GORDON CHUCKLES]

Samurai Kinski,
here for the briss.

JUNIOR: [IN FRENCH]
Pretty cool, huh?

[IN ENGLISH] Oh! I'm so sorry,
man. I've just never seen

one of these in real
life. It's so cool.

[IN FRENCH] I got it
on eBay. 17th century.

It belonged to a Samurai
who killed 200 people.

[IN ENGLISH] It's awesome.

[CHUCKLES]

It says, "Made in China."
Aren't samurai Japanese?

[IN FRENCH] Yeah, I
know. I got screwed.

700 bucks.

[IN ENGLISH] But it's
still... it's still beautiful

and... and... and very sharp.

So, you didn't get gypped there.

[IN FRENCH] Listen...

[IN ENGLISH] Sophie says, uh,
that you are an English coach?

Well, I teach, uh, eighth
grade English, yeah.

[IN FRENCH] I failed
my English exam.

If I don't pass next time,
I can't become a cop.

[IN ENGLISH] You're asking
for help? I'll totally help.

[IN FRENCH] Really?[IN
ENGLISH] Of course!

[IN FRENCH] It's been my
dream since I was a kid.

[IN ENGLISH] Well, let's make
that dream come true, bud!

[JUNIOR GRUNTS][LAUGHS]

Yes![GRUNTS]

[IN FRENCH] If you hurt
Sophie, I'll cut your head off.

[IN ENGLISH] I won't.

It's a joke!

[LAUGHS] You're good.

[IN FRENCH] Make
yourself at home.

- [IN ENGLISH] Okay, thank you.
- JUNIOR: Hey!

[IN FRENCH] Don't fuck
my sister in my bed.

[SIGHS]

[WATER GURGLES]

[SIGHS]

[IN ENGLISH] Of course.

["UN MUSICIEN PARMI
TANT D'AUTRES" PLAYING]

Hey, toi! Bon...

[IN FRENCH] Should
we taste? Oui.

Mm. Hmm...

No, that's way too
much tomato paste.

Ms. Expert... Don't
forget who taught you.

Same person as you. Mammie?

A quarter cup per pound of beef.

Voilà!

Mammie, you're knitting your
scarf into your shawl again.

Alphonse! Can you
come help your mother?

ALPHONSE: Coming!

So?

How did he react
when you told him?

Told him what?[SNORTS]

Come on. About you and Ruby.

I didn't tell him yet.

[GASPS] Sophie Jeanne Tremblay!

Oh! Your full name.

I'm just waiting for
the right moment.

Ah yes, the right moment.

So, after you fall
back in love with her.

Not tonight, Juliette.

Relax. I'm just
messing with you.

For now, nobody
says anything, okay?

That's a hell of a plan.

If I get the job,
then I'll tell him.

I don't want to worry
him for nothing.

You don't know Gordon.

He can get a little anxious.

- You don't say.
- GINETTE: What?

- He can get a little anxious!
- Oh.

[SPEAKING FRENCH]
JULIETTE: That looks good.

Juliette...

My girl, you're
playing with fire.

[KNIFE SLICING]

[OVERLAPPING CHATTER]

I'm gonna get you to
like organic wine.

You're not listening.
You're crazy.

If you suck on the first
line, you suck on the second!

You didn't even watch the game!

I'm not gonna ruin my
property with a pool.

When the kids were small,
they swam in the pond.

I just feel like a milk farm.

My tits are so sore.

You don't know what
you're talking about!

He's only 22.

George![IN ENGLISH]
Uh. It's Gordon.

Jordan... Sure.

PATRICE: You're from New
York? You're a Rangers fan?

What do you think of Lafrenière?

Oh, I actually
don't follow hockey.

[COUGHS] But I... I
love figure skating.

Figure skating?

GORDON: Yeah, uh, sure.

You know, Boitano, Yamaguchi,
Hamilton, and of course,

I'm not forgetting all
the Canadian greats, uh,

Stojko, Browning,

Salé and Pelletier with
that incredible performance

in Salt Lake City.
Mammie, you remember that?

I mean, to land a quad,

and then to go right
into a triple Axel?

Insanity. Who does that?

I'll tell you who. They did.

Also, the costumes

dazzling.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

- A fellow guest. Let me.
- No, stay. I'll... I'll get it.

This is too... You're...

Voilà! [LAUGHS]

Actually, when I
was a kid, I, uh...

- [IN FRENCH] Merry Christmas.
- You too, Mammie.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

It's a speed thing.

JUNIOR: He spent the whole
summer power skating!

Ruby!

[IN ENGLISH] Hi!
You're here! Wh...

Well, you couldn't
join us for drinks,

so, I brought the drinks to you.

Hey, tout le monde,
you remember Ruby?

Oh, ben, tabarnak!

[IN FRENCH] Hello, my friends!

It's been too long!

Nobody's changed a bit.

Alphie...

ALPHONSE: It's good to see you.

[IN ENGLISH] I brought you
your favorite, an '86 Pomerol.

- Oh!
- Birth year of this bombshell.

[SCOFFS] But they
only had a magnum,

so I hope you're thirsty.

It's too much. Merci beaucoup!

Junior, if I could... [IN
FRENCH] Stop fidgeting.

ALPHONSE: Let's
get the decanter!

[IN ENGLISH] So, you're
the famous Ruby Collins.

And you must be the
one-and-only Gordon.

I never got your family name.

Uh. It's Kinski. But
don't worry about that.

I gotta say, when Sophie
told me about you,

I... I pictured someone a
little more like Julia Childs.

Not someone so...

- Dazzling?
- Dazzling is right!

ALPHONSE: [IN FRENCH] - Let's find a chair for Ruby.
- GINETTE: Yes.

RUBY: [IN ENGLISH] And
you will not believe

what happens that day.
The compressor breaks

that morning![CHUCKLES]
That's a nightmare!

And the Secret Service gets
there.[SCOFFS] Oh, I remember.

And we have nothing
to feed the Obamas.

And then Sophie here confessed

that she had a pound and
a half of Japanese bluefin

that she was going
to surprise me with

for my birthday dinner.

Oh, you're so sweet, baby.

She runs back to her
place, grabs the fish.

We cook them this,
oh, incredible meal.

[IN FRENCH] It
was insanely good!

[IN ENGLISH] And now I have
Michelle's number in my phone.

Are you kidding me?

Like, you could text
Michelle Obama right now?

Mm. And Sasha and Malia.

We should send them, like,
a funny GIF or something.

Babe, you never told me you
cooked for POTUS and FLOTUS.

He wasn't even in
office anymore.

Oh, it's not a big deal.
He wasn't in office.

He's just hanging out with
Michelle and, like, Jay-Z.

You gotta be kidding
me. That is so cool.

Hey, by the way, cooking
for heads of state

should definitely factor into
the decision-making process.

- Am I right, parents? Right?
- ALPHONSE: That's right.

- It will.
- GORDON: Good, good.

RUBY: And what about you, - Gordon?
- Mm!

RUBY: I mean, what
are you gonna do

while I keep your girlfriend
locked away in the castle?

[CHUCKLES] Oh, don't
worry about me.

I will be fully booked
making sure Junior here

doesn't fail his
English exam again.

Right, buddy?

[IN FRENCH] You're
taking the exam again?

Yup.

We agreed you were
done with that.

You belong on the farm!

Here we go.

When are you gonna realize
the farm is your dream,

not mine?

I don't have time to dream.

I'm too busy putting
food on the table.

You think that just
happens all by itself?

Alphonse, not now.

Why can Sophie follow
her dreams, but not me?

Sophie's not an imbecile

who lives in her
parents' shed at 26!

I hate you!

[CRIES] It's not fair!

A cop who cries.

[DOOR SLAMS]

You've gotta talk to your son.

Oh, I'll talk to him.
I'll talk to him.

[IN ENGLISH] This is
delicious, by the way.

Well, this is going really well.

- Hey! I think you're doing great.
- I've been here six hours.

I've been interrogated
by the feds.

I made out with your grandma.

I betrayed your brother.
It's not going great.

Yeah, but he should have
told you not to say anything.

You know what? They
fight all the time.

So, don't worry
you about it, okay?

On the other hand, that
Ruby is amazing, huh?

Yeah, yeah, she's...
she's something.

I mean, cooking steaks in
a volcano with Bear Grylls?

[CHUCKLES] He's a lucky guy.

Is someone crushing a little?

Uh, I don't think I have a shot,
babe. That whole story she told

about Victoria Secret
models in Ibiza...

Yeah, wow.

But, hey, you could use
it to your advantage.

A little flirting
could go a long way.

That's smart. Speaking
about flirting...

- Go on.
- I would also like to go a long way.

GORDON: Mm...[MOANS]

[SOFT MUSIC PLAYING]

What's happening?

She can't really see
or hear very well,

so if we don't move, she
won't even know we're here.

- Like a T-Rex.
- Yeah.

[IN FRENCH] There
you are.[TOY BEEPS]

[IN ENGLISH] Grammy Mammie,
more than meets the eye.

[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING]

SOPHIE: [IN FRENCH] You're not
gonna say anything about Gordon?

Well, he seems to really
love figure skating.

Before you judge him, it was
his mom's favorite sport.

He watches it with his
dad to remember her.

I'm not judging him.

Just promise you'll
give him a chance.

- I promise.
- Thank you.

The Veilleux family
sold the farm?

National Agro knows we can't
compete with their prices.

They're squeezing us out.

If things don't
change next year...

[CLEARS THROAT]

I'll have to sell the farm too.

You're not serious.

That's why I was
hard on your brother.

I need his help on the farm.

I don't want you to worry.

- Okay.
- It's my problem.

- All right.
- You have a job to win.

And we want you back home.

Okay, I should go.

- I'm gonna do well, right?
- Of course you'll do well.

[IN ENGLISH] All right.

[INSPIRATIONAL MUSIC PLAYING]

[LAMB BLEATS]

[CHUCKLES]

[MELLOW MUSIC PLAYING]

[KNOCKS ON DOOR]

GORDON: Aw! So cute!

Oh, baby!

[CHUCKLES]

Def Leppard, yes!

Hug fest!

Whose dog is that?

What the fuck?

[ELEVATOR BEEPS]

[SIGHS]

[IN FRENCH] Ms.
Tremblay, I presume?

Yes, that's me.

I'm sorry. They told
me to wait here.

MALCOLM: Malcolm Gervais Dorian.

Manager and minority
owner of Ruby.

A pleasure to meet you, Malcolm.

Malcolm. Olm.

Oh.

[SERENE MUSIC PLAYING]

SOPHIE: Wow. It's incredible.

MALCOLM: It better be
for 3 million dollars.

Or more if everyone
keeps working so slowly.

You hear me, Jean-Jacques?
I'm talking to you!

And now we're late.

Okay, we can start now.

[IN ENGLISH] Let's go![SIGHS]

Chef will be with
you momentarily.

[BANGING IN DISTANCE]

[IN FRENCH] Come on!
That doesn't go there!

[IN ENGLISH] Hi! I'm Sophie.

Frederick. La Shangra, Chicago.

Antoine. Tic Tac Toe, Byron Bay.

Hey, I know your place!

- Of course you do.
- RUBY: Good morning,

my impressionable
little cherubs.

Ruby will be the crown
jewel of my culinary empire.

When our guests walk through
those very expensive doors,

they will be thrust into
a gastronomical portal

that will make them
shit their pants.

[SOFT MUSIC PLAYING]

[BELL DINGS] Time.

Terrible.

You managed to remove every
single atom of flavor.

Nice.

Last and definitely least,

Sophie, I prefer no taste
than this culinary genocide.

I couldn't get the foam to rise.

I don't want your
excuses, Sophie.

I want you to execute.

Because that's the title, right?

Executive chef. A
chef who can execute.

If you're all
gonna be this shit,

tell me now so I
can find real chefs,

not line cooks who couldn't
cut it in a hospital cafeteria.

- Start again.
- CHEFS: Yes, chef!

GORDON: Yeah, she told me
she'd been with women before,

but this is her ex.

I always sensed a
sapphic energy from her.

Let's not label it, Dad,
okay? She's... she's French.

They explore their bodies
differently over here.

Doesn't change the fact
that she lied to you.

[GRUNTS] She didn't lie.

She just left out
some of the specifics

because she loves me
and she was protecting

- my feelings.
- How did I raise you to be so naiïve?

Word of advice, pop the question
before she switches teams again!

There will be no switching
of teams, Dad, okay?

She's here in a... in a
professional capacity.

So was Billie Jean King
with her secretary.

I have no idea what that means,

but I'm pretty sure
it's not helpful.

PETER: I'm just saying,
don't waste any time.

By the way,

French Canadians were
notoriously Catholics.

So you might want to
ask her father first.

Oh, I don't think he
likes me very much.

Then do what you mother and
I did and get her pregnant.

Then he'll force
you to marry her!

This is the worst pep talk
you've ever tried to...

Dad, I gotta go.

- Morning!
- ALPHONSE: Already up?

You sure you don't want to
sleep an extra 15 minutes?

It's only 9:45.

Oh, I'm just taking in
your incredible property.

It's so beautiful. Everything
is just blossoming.

Your tomatoes are coming in.
Wow! That's a lot of blood.

Come here.

In there?

[BLADE SHARPENING][LAMB
BLEATING]

[BLADE SLASHES][LAMB BLEATS]

Hey

this is, uh...

This is nice! What a
setup you have here.

[IN FRENCH] Go get me the lamb
in the third stall on the right.

[IN ENGLISH] A lamb?
Why am I getting a lamb?

It's our dinner.

Mm!

[LAMB BLEATING]
That's gonna be great!

You know what else is
great? Is, uh, ratatouille,

or a... or a hearty
salad. I love that.

You... you throw some
walnuts and some beets,

some... some feta cheese.
Everybody loves it.

Everyone will be
like, "Alphonse",

how could... This is...
"We're having lamb."

Okay. Uh...

Well, I'll go... check
on the little fella,

and see if he's ready...

Mm-hmm.

To be done with life.

Hey! Hey!

Hey, buddy! Hey!

Hi!

Oh, you're so cute.

I have a sweater just like you.

Hey, come over here.

We need to have
a heart-to-heart.

You and I are gonna have to
go on a little walk together.

Look, here's the problem,
I'm in love, okay?

I have to get this guy
to like... [BLEATS]

I know you understand, okay?

Maybe we can hang out in heaven.

Alphonse, I think she knows!

[SIGHS] There you go.

I hope this is my
piece. [CHUCKLES]

You're not a very
physical guy, are you?

Me? No. Well, I am.

I just... I guess the
brain is... is my muscle.

That's... that's
what I use most.

Hmm.

Hey, listen, about the
whole tutoring thing,

I... I just wanted
to say I never meant

to get between you and your son.

I'm sorry about that. I...
I... I should tell you, though,

I feel pretty confident
I could get him to pass.

You can waste my son's
time as much as you want.

Just as long as you stay
out of Sophie's way.

Oh, wow! There's the other
leg. You're good at that!

[HONKS]

Not now, Coucou, please! I
need, like, five minutes.

Please, Coucou.

Coucou, can we
please be friends?

["J'T'AIME COMME
UN FOU" PLAYING]

Stay, Coucou!

I want you to stay!

[METAL SONG PLAYING ON STEREO]

[IN FRENCH] Stupid goddamn bag!

[IN ENGLISH] Hey, Gordie!

Hey! Hey! I think you
won.[IN FRENCH] What?

[IN ENGLISH] I think
you kicked its ass.

[IN FRENCH] Hold on.
Let me turn this down.

[IN ENGLISH] This is
an awesome setup, man.

You got dojo. You got man cave.

You never need to leave!

JUNIOR: [IN FRENCH]
Sorry about the flies.

It used to be a...

- [IN ENGLISH] Chicken house.
- Oh, it was a chicken coop.

Huh. Well, they
were living well.

Oh, sure. It's noon somewhere.

Hey, uh, I wanna
really apologize

to you about last night,
man. I didn't mean to

let the cat out of the bag.[IN
FRENCH] Don't worry about it.

I don't care what he
thinks. It's my life.

[IN ENGLISH] Yeah, I get it.

My father wanted me
to be a dentist, so...

Of course, my father is a
whole lot less intimidating

than yours, so it
was an easier no.

[IN FRENCH] You
look like a dentist.

[IN ENGLISH] Thank you.

[IN FRENCH] I don't have
any cash to pay you,

but I could give you
Muay Thai lessons.

[IN ENGLISH] No, it's
my pleasure, man.

Please. What else am I gonna do?

I'm happy to help.

But I actually wouldn't
mind a little intel

on your sister and Ruby.

[IN FRENCH] Dammit, Juliette...

[IN ENGLISH] No, it wasn't her.

I stumbled across a picture

where they looked
a little, uh...

[IN FRENCH] Don't do
that with your fingers.

[IN ENGLISH] Do you know
who broke up with who?

Whom? It's actually "whom."

Who broke up with
whom.[IN FRENCH] What?

[IN ENGLISH] We'll get to
"whom." That's advanced.

That's like, double black
diamond. Back to Ruby.

[IN FRENCH] Sophie
was crazy about her.

But Ruby cheated a few
times, and Sophie caught her.

She was heartbroken.

[IN ENGLISH] I didn't get all
of that. You speak very fast.

But I think you said it was
Ruby who was the heart breaker.

[IN FRENCH] Fuck yeah.

Hey, don't worry about it, man.

She needs a guy who's.

[IN ENGLISH] boring like you.

Oh. By the way,
great pronunciation!

[IN FRENCH] Really?

I don't think I have the
brain to learn a new language.

[IN ENGLISH] The key is just to
find a way into the material.

And for you, I think I
have the perfect way in.

[FLIES BUZZING]

Huh.

You wanna see some
real fighting,

you can see me
fight at the kumite.

I'm here, too, for the kumite.

Aren't you a little
young for full contact?

Aren't you a little
old for video games?

Okay, so in that example,

"aren't" is a contraction
of "are" and "not."

"Aren't you a little
old for video games?"

That's perfect. You sound
just like Van Damme.

[IN FRENCH] Can we
watch the fight scenes?

[IN ENGLISH] Actually, that will
help us with imperative verbs.

I bet there's plenty in there.

See, that's the thing
about a muscadet.

It's arrogant, yet subtle.

A perfect pairing for
my mozzarella balloons,

which you killed today.

I didn't come here
to fuck spiders.

I hope no one came
here to fuck spiders.

Is that, like, an expression

from... [IN AUSTRALIAN
ACCENT] Down Under?

You know what? Never
mind. I don't care.

Malcolm, let's move
on to the reds.

[CROWD CHEERING ON TV][IN
FRENCH] Watch this!

GORDON: [IN ENGLISH]
Powder to the eyes?

That doesn't seem fair.

[IN FRENCH] He's blind!
Can't see shit! But wait.

[IN ENGLISH] That's the
thing about the kumite.

There's no rules.

[IN FRENCH] All his memories
from Japan with his sensei.

Now he's in the zone.

[IN ENGLISH] Check the kick!

GORDON: Uh-oh! Gunshot!

- Oh, ho, ho, ho!
- Wow!

- Boom!
- GORDON: Triple kick?

[SCREAMS,
LAUGHS][SCREAMS, LAUGHS]

[IN FRENCH] Every
time![IN ENGLISH] Yeah!

[SHIP HORN SOUNDING]

RUBY: I'm sorry for
being so hard on you.

But I'm not gonna
play favorites.

I brought you here
because of your talent,

not because of our history.

- Thanks for saying that.
- Anytime.

There's also something else
I need to apologize for.

Oh, no, no. You don't need.
- To apologize anymore. - No, I do. I do.

I've been talking a
lot with Brené Brown

about accountability.

Which I need to own for how
things ended between us.

I let my ego get the best of me.

You deserved so much better.

Which you seem to
have found in Gordon.

It all worked out for the best.

Like you said, I found Gordon.
And you! I mean, you...

Look at everything
you've accomplished.

Yeah, I suppose.

You have one of the
biggest cooking shows.

You have, what, like,
three bestsellers.

And are you actually starting
a makeup line? [CHUCKLES]

It's not bad for the daughter
of a Filipina immigrant.

Damn right![CHUCKLES]

So, is it weird being
back home after so long?

My dad might have
to sell the farm.

Oh, Soph, I'm so sorry.

- It's his entire life, you know?
- Yeah.

But he's stubborn enough. I
mean, you know him. He'll.

[CHUCKLES][SIGHS] he'll
figure something out.

Let's get you another drink.
You look like you need it.

I think I need to get home.

I wasn't asking, babe.

This is work, not play.

Oh. [CHUCKLES] Of course.

- Malcolm!
- MALCOLM: [IN FRENCH] Yes?

[IN ENGLISH] Can
we taste another?

- MALCOLM: [IN FRENCH] Right away.
- Perfect.

[FLOOR CREAKS]

[WATER GURGLING]

[IN ENGLISH] Ahoy!

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
I didn't mean to wake you.

It's okay. I wasn't sleeping.

You were out late.

Yeah, I, uh, I
should have texted.

Ruby had us trying a
bunch of wine pairings.

- [YAWNS] How was your day?
- Oh, my day was great!

I, um, I slaughtered
a little baby lamb

with your father, and
I tutored your brother.

Oh, and I also found out

that you and Ruby
used to be lovers.

So, all in all, a
pretty full day.

Okay, I really
wanted to tell you.

But I knew you would
worry... GORDON: Don't try.

And I didn't want you
to worry... GORDON: No.

- Please.
- SOPHIE: And turn it into something it's not,

because it's really nothing.

Oh, it's definitely something.
It's definitely something.

It's a fairly large
omission, don't you think?

Working for your ex? [CHUCKLES]

Definitely should have
factored into the conversation.

I'm sorry. You're right.

I should have been up
front. But it was years ago.

I mean, she was an asshole
then. She's an asshole now.

Well, she seemed pretty darn
charming the other night.

It's all a show. She's a tyrant.

I don't care that she's my ex.

And you shouldn't either.

Well, it's easier said than
done when she looks like

- the future of the human race.
- Hey, come on. Look at me.

I love you.

- And I want you.
- No, don't try.

You're not gonna win me back
by trying to have sex with me.

Just make out with me a little.

Come on, love.

I'm not that easily convinced.

Can I convince you with that
thing I do to your toes?

Well, that could definitely
expedite the healing process.

SOPHIE: Mm.

Wait. Ah, this
really hurts my legs.

This is... No, it'll work,
baby. Let me just anchor.

If I anchor my leg... Here.

I'll just put my hand there.
I'm like an isosceles triangle.

This is so comfy. Just
give me a second, okay?

Yeah, but hold on. Wait.

We're locked and
loaded here, babe.

We don't need a second.

If you take too many seconds,
you might fall asleep.

Babe?

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

[SOFT MUSIC PLAYING]

Gordon?

Alphonse, bonjour! Café?

- I assume you take it black.
- Hmm.

Gordon, wow! You're up early.

Yeah, I'm just excited.
Uh, beautiful day.

Hey, I wanted to ask if I could
drive Sophie in to work today,

maybe see some of the
sights, and then I'll...

- I'll bring her home?
- Of course!

Keys are hanging
by the front door.

- Great.
- ALPHONSE: No, that's not a good idea.

It's an old truck, you
know. It's hard to handle.

Well, you should try biking
in Brooklyn. It's crazy!

And then, Manhattan,
that's like, um...

But, uh, truck-wise, as long as
it's not manual, I'm good to go.

- There's no gas.
- I'll fill her up.

[IN FRENCH] Is that okay?

Absolutely. Right, Alphonse?

Mm.

GORDON: [IN ENGLISH]
This is fun,

driving my love
along the riverbanks.

Babe... Mm.

Can you please just...
just go faster.

As my late mother used to say,
"Under 45, you stay alive."

I knew I should have driven.

You are not driving.
Are you kidding me?

You probably still have alcohol
in your blood. You'd get a DUI.

This is a good
pace for us, okay?

I'm not getting in an accident
in your father's beloved car.

It's here.

- What's here?
- Here, here.

The exit. You're gonna miss it.

Well, you gotta tell me
sooner than that, baby.

- Oh, my God, we missed it!
- Well...

There was a motorcyclist
in the lane, babe!

This takes us onto the bridge.

Do you know how
late I'm gonna be?

You will not be one second late.

CIVILIAN: [IN FRENCH]
Move your fucking horse!

SOPHIE: Come on, for God's sake.

[IN ENGLISH] Stupid
Saint-Laurent.

Sweetheart, I'm sorry, but
the GPS did not account

for exhausted Seabiscuit.

[HORN HONKS] Don't
honk at a horse!

That's a thing, I'm sure.

You know what? Screw
this. I'm gonna run.

No, no, no! Wait, wait, wait.

- SOPHIE: Bye.
- GORDON: Babe!

I'm sorry. I love you!

[SIGHS]

Oh! Well, look who
decided to join us.

I'm so sorry, chef.

Come in late again,
and you're out.

Hey! Whoa! Look at this place!

It's like the kitchen
on the Death Star.

This is incredible! Is this
where Vader gets his Pop Tarts?

[CHUCKLES] Can I help you?

Ruby, I am so sorry. I just
want to be the one to tell you

that Sophie's tardiness
is 100% my fault.

I had to put gas in
her father's car.

Can you believe it takes diesel?

I'm about to put regular
in the wagon here,

and a guy calls me a
câlice de tabarnak,

which I thought was an insult.
Turns out, I Google it...

Is it bring your
boyfriend to work day,

or is he gonna kindly get
the fuck out of my kitchen?

- Gordon, please.
- GORDON: I'm so sorry.

Boyfriend reads
you loud and clear.

I'll let you coworkers
do your thing.

You guys are screwed.

You're gonna win,
baby! Team Sophie!

[PLAYFUL MUSIC PLAYING]

SOPHIE: Smoked pine needles.

When I got home last
night, the air just hit me.

It was almost sweet. It
smelled like Christmas.

I thought it would complement
your smoked oysters.

Give it a distinct
local essence.

That is what I'm
talking about, Sophie.

Good work.

[CHUCKLES]

[IN FRENCH] Stop looking!

GINETTE: I didn't
look. It's your turn.

JULIETTE: Mammie has to draw.

Organize them by suit.

[IN ENGLISH] Not
too bored, Gordon?

Oh no. Are you kidding me?
I'm having the best time.

I get to hang out with
three lovely Tremblay ladies

instead of just one.

Plus I'm sure Sophie
will be home soon.

I don't know about that.

- What don't you know about?
- Ah! [CHUCKLES] It's just...

When Sophie and
Ruby were together,

it was like Burning
Man every night.

So fun.

Juliette...[IN FRENCH]
What? It's true.

I lost my virginity
to a Jewish boy.

- Mazel tov.
- Mammie...

MAMMIE: Uno![IN FRENCH]
We're playing hearts, Mammie.

- [IN ENGLISH] Holy shit!
- What's wrong?

Um, will you excuse me
for just one second?

I have to, uh, use the
facilities upstairs.

Oh, but there's a
bathroom right there.

Oh, but it's a pet
it numéro due...

[IN FRENCH] Gross.[CHUCKLES]

He's going for a poop?

[DRAMATIC TONE PLAYS]

[IN ENGLISH] No!

[SOFT MUSIC PLAYING]

You and I haven't really had a
chance to just chat alone yet,

have we, Mammie?

[IN FRENCH] The Russians are
sending a dog into space.

[IN ENGLISH] Yeah,
well, they're...

They're always doing
something up there.

Um...

If we could just chat for
a second about the ring.

That's my great-grandmother's.

And I'm... I'm sensitive to
your condition, I really am,

so, no hard feelings.

But I'm just gonna reach down
and take my ring back, okay?

So I'm gonna just grab it.

- Gordie!
- Hey, man!

[IN FRENCH] Ditch the old ladies
and come get a drink with the boys.

[IN ENGLISH] No, I'm fine. I'm
hanging out with the ladies.

I'm having a blast.

[IN FRENCH] Trust
me, you want to come.

[IN ENGLISH] That's a great
idea you should go and have fun.

JUNIOR: [IN FRENCH]
Come on, dude.

[IN ENGLISH] Okay, well...

To be continued!

RUBY: What are we drinking next?

- Shots!
- Fucking shooters, mate.

Look, quality is everything.

And if that means importing
my lamb from New Zealand,

then that's what
I'm going to do.

Are you saying that the
lamb from my father's farm

is not as good as New Zealand's?

Well. [SCOFFS] I mean, the
difference might be slim,

but it is the difference between
excellence and perfection.

Yeah, just like
the slim difference

between being arrogant
and being full of shit?

RUBY: Well, someone
is confident.

Yeah, 'cause I[CHUCKLES]

I swapped out your lamb today
with meat from my father's farm,

and someone didn't
seem to notice.

You absolute assassin.

[CROWD CHEERING]

[METAL MUSIC PLAYING
OVER SPEAKERS]

ONLOOKER: Hey!

Yo! Hey, Jordan, ostie!

It's Gordon.

[IN FRENCH] Put her
in a triangle choke!

[BONE CRACKS][GROANS]

Oh!

[IN ENGLISH] You hear that?
That's bone. That's a bone.

ANNOUNCER: [IN FRENCH] Give it up
for Daphne the Dolphin Tousignon!

Daphne!

I love you!

[IN ENGLISH] Is
someone gonna help her?

I'm surprised to see you here.

Oh no, I love it. I love it.
I love violence of any kind.

Uh, yeah. Pain is my jam.

ANNOUNCER: [IN
FRENCH] And now...

[IN ENGLISH] Light change.

ANNOUNCER: [IN FRENCH] he's
big, he's mean and he's ugly.

The prince of Granby,

Tony Tonka Begin.

GORDON: [IN ENGLISH] Look
at the size of that guy!

ANNOUNCER: [IN FRENCH] Versus the
undefeated champion, from Quebec...

[IN ENGLISH] He's pointing
at me. I didn't do anything!

ANNOUNCER: [IN FRENCH]
Junior Trauma Tremblay!

- [IN ENGLISH] Come on!
- You're fighting?

[IN FRENCH] Every Saturday.
Gotta pay the rent.

[IN ENGLISH] Him?

Are you out of your
mind?[AUDIENCE CHEERING]

He's like white Shrek!

Let's go!

[IN FRENCH] Ready?

[IN ENGLISH] Fight!

- Whoa! That was good, huh?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah!

Oui!

Oh!

Fuck yes! David beats Goliath!

[ALL CHEER]

[IN FRENCH] Junior
Trauma Tremblay!

That's my cousin!

Ladies and gentlemen,

we have a challenger!

[AIR HORN BLARES]

[IN ENGLISH] He's gonna
fight somebody else?

Alphonse the Butcher Tremblay!

Oh fuck, yes! [LAUGHS]

Last time they fought,
they ended up in jail, man.

GORDON: Are you kidding me?

They can't fight.
They're family.

[IN FRENCH] They're Tremblays.

[CROWD CHEERING]

If I win, you stay
and work on the farm.

If you win, you can take
your little English test.

Bring it on, old man.

I'm gonna wipe the
floor with you.

[IN ENGLISH] No, false alarm!

Intermission! Intermission!

Call it off! Call it off, sorry!
Sorry, you guys cannot fight.

[IN FRENCH] Stay out of it.

[IN ENGLISH] No, this is my
fault. I'm sorry. My fault.

[IN FRENCH] All good.[IN ENGLISH]
Violence is not the answer.

- Think of Sophie, of Ginette.
- It's okay!

It gonna end up in two seconds.

GORDON: No. There's not gonna be
a fight.[IN FRENCH] Two seconds?

You'll be on the floor in a
second![IN ENGLISH] Just stop!

[CROWD GROANS]

[IN FRENCH] Decent knockout.

[IN ENGLISH] No!

Yeah! [LAUGHS][CROWD CHEERING]

[IN FRENCH] Are you sure
you don't want to go

- to the hospital?
- No. No, no.

It's just a little headache.

[IN ENGLISH] Again,
I'm so sorry, Alphonse.

No, no, don't be sorry.
It's their fault.

[IN FRENCH] Mom...

[IN ENGLISH] - But Gordon did knock him out.
- Very accidentally.

Still, you delivered the blow.

The good news is
that father and son

avoided going at
it in the kumite.

I have even better news.

I have a surprise

that will certainly get
you fixed up in no time.

Drum roll.[BANGING ON TABLE]

It's an expression. You don't...

I have spoken to the network,

and we would be thrilled
to shoot an episode

of Ruby in Your Pantry right
here on your family farm!

I mean, great exposure
for the greatest lamb

- in the world. Am I right?
- I don't know what to say!

Well, say oui, ma chérie!

SOPHIE: Thank you
so much![LAUGHS]

Wow...

- Wow!
- SOPHIE: Thank you so much!

- Can I be on TV, too?
- Oh, but of course, it's your farm! [LAUGHS]

JULIETTE: [IN FRENCH] This is
the best news in the world.

You have to lend
me some clothes.

[IN ENGLISH] I'm
excited about it, too.

Of course she drives a Jag.

Bye! Love your pirate's blouse.

Wow!

This turned out to be
such a great night, right?

GORDON: Oh, it was fabulous!

You got drunk with
your ex-girlfriend,

and I knocked out your father.

- And that's my fault?
- GORDON: Yeah, it is.

Because if you hadn't
stood me up again,

I wouldn't have been invited

to family fucking fight
club or whatever that was.

Okay, you know what? I don't
want to do this tonight.

Well, you know what? I do.

I'm just saying, if you look at
things from my point of view,

it feels like I can't
do anything right,

unlike Ruby, who can
do absolutely no wrong.

I can't believe you're
making this about you

when her show can save this
farm from going out of business.

Going out of business?
What are you talking about?

- Going out of business?
- My dad told me

that they're on the brink
of bankruptcy, okay?

Ruby is just trying to help.

So, you told Ruby, but
you didn't tell me?

I've been spending
more time with her.

I haven't seen you
as much, come on.

GORDON: Really?
I hadn't noticed.

Oh, my God!

[SIGHS] All right,
you know what?

It's been a long week.
Let's just get some sleep.

You've been reading
way too much into this.

You're right, I'm sorry.

I should be happy for you guys.
I didn't know that. I'm sorry.

I just miss you.

I miss you too, honey.

- I love you.
- SOPHIE: I love you, too.

MAMMIE: Psst! Hey!

[IN FRENCH] A big
snowstorm is coming.

[IN ENGLISH] All right, I'll-
I'll take her back to bed.

No, you know what?
Let me, let me.

- Are you sure?
- Yeah, yeah.

Come on, you're tired.

Let me do one thing
right in this house.

- All right.
- I got it.

Hey, Mammie.

Let's get you back to bed
before the storm hits, okay?

I got you.

All right, Mammie.

There you go.

Time to count some sheep before
your son slaughters them all.

[MAMMIE SNORING SOFTLY]

I do need to get my ring
back, though, Mammie.

Just while you're dozing...

[MOANS, SNORES]

Farmer knuckles!

Come on...

♪ Dormez-vous, dormez-vous? ♪

Oh, hey! She wandered into
our room, sweet old gal.

I think she was
probably sleepwalking.

I've been tasked with
putting her down again.

♪ Sonnez les matines
Sonnez les matines ♪

♪ Ding, dang, dong

You can close it
out if you want to.

[IN FRENCH] Yeah,
yeah, ding dang dong.

[IN ENGLISH] We
did it. We did it.

Sweet dreams, Mammie.

I'll just get by you.

Do you want me to
sing to your baby?

- Oh, I'm good.
- Okay.

[IN FRENCH] What a weirdo.

GINETTE: Oh!

Gordon's dad writes
with a lot of.

[IN ENGLISH] eroticism.

[IN FRENCH] What do you
think of Sophie and Ruby?

Oh. I think they have a good
professional relationship.

Not professionally.
You know what I mean.

They were perfect together.

No, they weren't
perfect together at all.

And besides, Sophie
is happy with Gordon.

Sophie will be happy

if she gets the job
at the Frontenac.

Hey, stay out of it.

Don't look at me like
that. I'm just saying.

Mm.

Well, I'm just saying, when
I'm done with Peter's book,

you should give it a
read and take some notes.

[IN ENGLISH] We gotta
talk, Coucou![COUCOU HONKS]

["J'T'AIME COMME
UN FOU" PLAYING]

JUNIOR: [IN FRENCH]
Say it again,

because I'm totally lost.

[IN ENGLISH] It's a
rule of thumb, okay?

I before E, except after C

or when sounding as A as
in "Neighbor" or "Weigh."

You know what? Forget about
it. Can we take a break?

JUNIOR: [IN FRENCH] You
okay, Gordie? You look tired.

[IN ENGLISH] I am tired, man.

I'm frankly very
tired of my girlfriend

spending every single night

until 2:00 in the
morning with Ruby,

drinking and laughing

and doing all the
things in my mind

that I pray to God
they're not doing.

[IN FRENCH] I know a guy.

For a thousand bucks, he can.

[IN ENGLISH] smash her legs,

like, you know,
like Tonya Harding.

First of all, very
well-crafted sentence.

But I am gonna pass.

[CELLPHONE RINGS, VIBRATES]

Hey.

Guess what? Best news ever!

Ruby has to do a
reshoot for her show,

which means I have
the night off.

GORDON: Are you
serious? Yeah, baby!

I'm on my way. Junior,
class dismissed.

[IN FRENCH] Wait, what was
the song with all the letters?

[SOFT MUSIC
PLAYING][INDISTINCT CHATTER]

[IN FRENCH] Pardon me, sir,

French or English?

Anglais.[IN ENGLISH] Okay, um

would you mind
taking my picture?

I, uh, I have to send it
to my super-hot boyfriend

who's been desperately lonely.

Why don't you forget
about him and fall in love

with a very handsome English
teacher from Brooklyn?

Okay! [LAUGHS][GORDON LAUGHS]

You look amazing.
- This is so pretty. - Thank you,

- thank you, thank you. So do you.
- GORDON: Wow!

- Where are we going?
- I don't know.

[LAUGHS]

It's not the kind of cooking
I really ever thought I'd do,

but I'm getting
into it. And I mean

living in this city,
with my family,

it really would be amazing.

I think you're
gonna get the job.

- I don't have it yet.
- Baby, you're gonna get the job.

[IN FRENCH] Okay,
whatever. Sir...

[IN ENGLISH] I have
a surprise for you.

I got the Château to
comp us a room tonight.

Shut up!

- Are you serious?
- SOPHIE: Mm.

I am gonna miss sleeping
in that waterbed, though.

I don't think we'll be
doing too much sleeping.

- What are we gonna be doing?
- I don't know.

Bingeing a series?
[LAUGHS][LAUGHS]

[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]

SOPHIE: You're gonna love her.

Did I ever tell you that
she's the first person

- to make me a sous-chef?
- GORDON: No.

SOPHIE: Yeah!

Sophie! Allô![GASPS]

[IN FRENCH] You're here!

You haven't changed a bit.

You either.

[GASPS] It's so good to see you.

I want you to meet my
boyfriend, Gordon. Enchanté.

A pleasure to meet you.

- Let me get you a table.
- SOPHIE: Merci!

It's crazy. Nothing's changed!

Merci! Bon appétit.

[IN ENGLISH] Mm. By the way,
you can order anything you want,

because dinner is on the house.

Look at this! What?

Oh, yay! You know what?

No, I'll pour it.
You don't have to.

Thank you so much.
Merci beaucoup.

SOPHIE: Merci! Look at you!

Baby, come on, free champagne
and free dinner, and free hotel.

I'm blown away. You are
the queen of Quebec City.

- And you are my king, monsieur.
- GORDON: Oh, thank you, darling.

Um, before we toast
to this great night,

I just wanted to let you know

that I see how
supportive you've been,

and it's meant so much to me.

There you are! The woman
I have been hunting.

SOPHIE: Ruby, I... I
thought you were shooting.

Oh, that's why they call me
the one-take wonder, darling.

I spoke to your
dad, and he told me

you guys were
having dinner here.

- Oh! Allô, Solange, babe!
- Hi, Ruby!

I wanted you to meet my
good friend, Avi Donaldson.

Good friend? Best friend.

After all the reviews I've
written for her, Jesus.

RUBY: It's true.
I'm sorry. My bestie

and the most important
food critic in London.

His wit is as cutting
as his reviews.

Mademoiselle. My God!

You are even more stunning
than she rhapsodized.

RUBY: Obviously, I've
been chatting you up.

Mind if we join you
guys for a quick drink?

SOPHIE: Um, it's just
that... It's just that what?

Nothing. I mean, a drink
sounds really nice,

right, Gordon?

It does sound nice,
but this is a two-top,

and with the fire code,

I'm a little concerned
about exiting safely.

Oh, don't worry, Gordie.
We won't stay long.

He's got a flight to catch.
Carpe diem, as the Latins say.

- Carpe fucking diem.
- Whoo! [CHUCKLES] Ladies!

- Excuse my reach.
- I could have passed it, bro.

What are we drinking to?

Well, not to make tonight
about me... Please do.

I'm about to close
a five-year deal

with a major streamer who
shall remain nameless.

Rhymes with Petflix.

Hulu.

- No, it's Netflix.
- Ah!

Which will put us in over
200 million homes worldwide.

Are you serious?
- That's... that's fantastic! - Mm-hmm.

It's bloody brilliant!

And we are almost out of bubbly.

Well, we had plenty until
you poured two thermoses

over there. We're
gonna actually order

- some appetizers, right, baby?
- Thank God. I am famished. Mademoiselle! [CLICKS FINGERS]

Right away. I'm not a
figment of your imagination.

Uh, 36 oysters.

Don't fob us off with any of
that Nova Scotia bullshit.

- I want Prince Edward Island.
- Malpeques, babe.

We can do separate checks,
not everyone together.

- He's joking, right?
- Yeah.

Of course he's fucking
joking. You are joking?

Yeah, I'm joking.

- Hilarious. Cheers!
- To jokes!

AVI: To jokes.

SOPHIE: Ah, so funny!

So, we hadn't caught
anything in hours,

when Ruby suddenly notices
something bobbing in the water.

It was a dolphin that was
caught in some old fishing net.

The poor thing had been
struggling for days,

if not weeks.

Have you ever seen
an emaciated dolphin?

- No.
- It's awful.

Like models in the '90s.

I mean, attractive, obviously,
but deeply unhealthy.

Anyway, um, without
batting an eye,

Aqua Girl over here...
RUBY: Oh, stop it.

No, but keep going.
It's a great story.

Dove into the frigid Atlantic,

cutting free the
majestic cetacean.

- It was the right thing to do.
- Yeah.

Fuck me, it was
incredible.[RUBY CHUCKLES]

It swam alongside
the boat for hours,

just grateful to be alive
'cause of this goddess.

Well, I think it had more to do

with the mackerel
we were feeding it.

Or because the DJ on board
was absolutely crushing it.

Oh, they really were. They
were really good, yeah.

Anyway, enough of
Ruby's heroics.

Gordon, I'm being so rude.

I haven't asked
what it is you do.

- Oh, um, I'm an academic.
- Oh, a professor!

Pray tell us, which
university's hallowed halls

do you grace with your insights?

- I teach eight grade English.
- SOPHIE: Yeah.

Teacher of the year,
two years in a row.

Hey, that's not nothing.

Man, I was a terrible student.
Kicked out of high school.

But I think we can all agree

that traditional schooling
is a bit antiquated.

Oh, yeah... Oh,
Sophie didn't tell me

you were also an expert
in education reform.

[CHUCKLES] Come on, Gordon.

I'm not trying to
shit on your job.

I'm just saying that
there are other ways

to forge a path to
success. Exhibit A.

And what an exhibit it is!

Excuse me, I'm gonna go
forge a path to the urinal.

Okay.

Is he mad at us?

[DOOR OPENS][AVI SIGHS DEEPLY]

[SOFT JAZZ PLAYING OVER STEREO]

[SIGHS]

[URINE TRICKLING]

Oh, fucking asparagus!

It must have been
in the pot age.

- What's pot age?
- Soup.

Come on, mate.

Well, it looks like
I'm missing my flight.

Yeah, so much for
that quick drink, huh?

[WATER FLUSHES]

Free word of advice,
friend.[PANTS ZIP]

I don't know you very
well, but Ruby, I do know.

And let me tell you,

when a woman like that sets
her sights on something,

she always gets what she wants.

What is that supposed to mean?
Did she say something to you?

A woman like that doesn't
need to say much, does she?

- That's even more cryptic.
- Is it? Is it?

He's right.

You gotta do it tonight.

You don't need a ring.

You don't need her
father's blessing.

You just need the
balls to do it.

Carpe fucking diem. Let's go.

Sophie, there's something
I want to ask you.

What's wrong? What happened?

It's Mammie. [SOBS] She's dead.

[QUIETLY] No!

- Oh, my God!
- GORDON: Oh...

Are we sure?

[IN FRENCH] They're picking
up her body in an hour.

[IN ENGLISH] They're coming
to get her already?[SOBS]

GORDON: I thought
we had more time.

But we don't.

Uh, babe, you look chilly.

Let me just grab
you a sweater, okay?

- Yeah. Thanks, babe.
- GORDON: Okay. I love you.

[SOPHIE SNIFFLES]

[IN FRENCH] At least you got
to see her before she died.

Oui.

[WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING]

[SIGHS]

[IN ENGLISH] This is crazy.

Gotta get the ring.

It's for Sophie,
Mammie. I'm so sorry.

Work with me, okay, on this?

[GRUNTS]

[GRUNTS][THUD]

[CLATTERING]

Oh! Your lips are so cold.

[THUDS]

Yes!

[GRUNTS]

[GRUNTS]

[BONE CRACKS] Oh!

[DOOR HANDLE TURNING]

Hey.[MUSIC CONCLUDES]

- What's going on?
- GORDON: I'm just paying my respects.

She's been so kind to me
ever since I got here, so...

Mm-hmm.

She looks so peaceful, you know?

Yeah, that's how she's been
since I've been here, just

just resting in peace.

It's hard to lose a mother.

I do know that.

[CHURCH BELL RINGS]

PRIEST: [IN FRENCH] And we
shall always remember Eleanore

for her enduring faith.

In the name of the
Father, the Son

and the Holy Ghost, amen.

[SCATTERED] Amen.

Would anyone like
to say a few words?

[IN ENGLISH] Oh, I'd like
to share something, Father.

Um, I am a woman of few words.

Then just shut up.

It's a little something
I wrote last night,

so just bear with me.

[VOCALIZES]

♪ Whoa, yeah

Imagine strings.

[WHISPERS IN FRENCH] Beautiful.
♪ She's standing at the gate

♪ Saint Peter by her side... ♪

- [IN ENGLISH] What's happening?
- She's singing.

I know. I'm just...
It's so beautiful.

Right.

♪ Looking down from the skies ♪

♪ She's in heaven ♪

♪ But she

♪ She couldn't wait ♪[SOBS]

♪ To be an angel ♪

[IN FRENCH] She's
better than Céline.

SOPHIE: [IN ENGLISH]
Thank you for the song.

It was really gorgeous.

Beautiful.

Yeah, anytime. I'm here for you.

Bring it in.

[SOFT MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO]

Yeah. I've been selling weed,
like, since I was a little kid.

- Oh, congrats.
- They called me the Cowboy du Cannabis.

[IN FRENCH] We had T-shirts
and everything. It was sick.

[IN ENGLISH] But then the
government made it legal,

which sucked huge.

[IN FRENCH] Fucking Canada.

You know heaven?
What are the rules?

Because, between you and me,

I've done some
pretty bad things.

But if I become a cop,
I can help people. Huh?

Here.

- Her recipe book.
- GINETTE: Oui.

[CHUCKLES][SOBS]

It'll bring you luck.

[CHUCKLES]

What about me? What do I get?

You? [PUFFS] You
got her breasts.

Last thing.

A threesome.

Is it okay, if
everyone's Catholic?

[IN ENGLISH] I'm still.
- In agriculture. - Good.

Don't you worry.

I have a small grow-op
of coniferous trees.

Oh, cool!

[IN FRENCH] Christmas
is huge in Quebec.

[IN ENGLISH] Yeah,
Christmas is pretty big

in New York City as well.

Oh yeah? You want a tree?

No, thank you. It's July.

Exactly. Give you a good price!

Quite a performance.

Oh, it was a straight
from the heart.

It wasn't even rehearsed.

Yeah, I could tell.

Uh, listen, I don't want
to overstep any boundaries,

but I do think it's
probably a good idea

to go ahead and
cancel the shoot.

I think it would
give those of us

who are actually in the family

a little... a little
space to grieve, you know,

in private, without the circus
of a reality television show.

Nah. The show must go on.

That's not really a thing.

That's a saying they
use in show business.

It's, uh, not something

that applies to
real-world tragedy.

We're in the middle of a...

[SIGHS]

Alphie, you poor man.

I'm sorry to interrupt.

Oh, no.

Um, but I've been giving
it a lot of thought,

and maybe we should reschedule.

We'll give your family the
appropriate amount of time

to grieve without the circus
of reality television.

That is so considerate of you.

Yeah, sounds a bit
like what I just said

two seconds ago in the kitchen.

Ruby's right, Dad.
We should reschedule.

Yeah, Ruby said it, but
I... I said it to Ruby,

and now you know it,

and now she sort of
disseminated it to the group.

And now I think we're
all on the same page

that the appropriate thing is
to have some time to grieve.

No.

[IN FRENCH] No. The farm,
the land, it was her life.

She'd want us to do it.

[IN ENGLISH] The
show must go on.

It really must!

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

- Hi, Gordie.
- Mm.

JUNIOR: [IN FRENCH]
Don't sweat it, Gordie.

[CONTINUES IN FRENCH]

[IN ENGLISH] Flow like,
uh, water. Comme Bruce Lee.

[ZEN STING PLAYS]

I liked your Tonya
Harding idea better.

We're gonna do things a
little differently today,

seeing as that our host's
pantry is an entire farm.

And not just any plot of land,

but the greatest
supplier of organic meats

on this side of the world.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give
you the Tremblay family!

Say "bonjour," you
French Canadian phenoms.

ALL: Bonjour![IN
FRENCH] Hi, everyone!

We're gonna start things
off with a duck hunt

with this gorgeous fam,

followed by a con
fit I will prepare

with the daughter
of these lands,

chef extraordinaire,
Sophie Tremblay.

That's my
girlfriend.[VASE CLATTERS]

- RUBY: What do you say, Sophie?
- I say let's get out of the pantry

and shoot some birds.
[CHUCKLES] Bang, bang!

[INDISTINCT
CHATTERING][RIFLE COCKS]

JUNIOR: Pow, pow, pow!

Oh, boy!

JUNIOR: Oh, no![GUN COCKS]

Good day for it, huh?

[LAUGHS]

- Hey, hey, hey!
- PATRICE: [IN FRENCH] Why did you dress up as a traffic cone, bro?

[IN ENGLISH] What, um... - What are you wearing?
- What? Is the hat too much?

SOPHIE: No, no, you just

look like you're gonna
repair a cell tower.

Oh. I spoke to Mr. Bouchard
at the hunting shop,

and I just said, "Give me
the best money can buy."

He hooked me up with
all this. You know,

it's fully reflective,
head to toe.

Head to toe, I can see that.

[IN FRENCH] Bouchard
sold you that? Oui.

[LAUGHS]

[IN ENGLISH] Okay, I'm sensing
I may have been up sold a bit.

But you know what?
Don't laugh at me,

because I come
from British stock.

Hunting is in my
blood.[CHUCKLES] Oh, yeah?

'Cause I remember you crying

when that pigeon flew into our
living-room window and died.

Yeah, 'cause we couldn't
eat it. A wasted death.

Or am I misreading this,

and Ruby said this
was for the family

and you don't want me
to be included, right?

What? Babe, no. No, no,
no. You're always included.

- You know that, right?
- Okay. Good. I want to be part of things.

I wanna... SOPHIE: Yeah. Yeah.

- I want to hunt.
- You're part of all of it. Come here.

Has anyone seen Gordon? Anyone?

[ALL LAUGH] Ha, ha! Very funny.

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

Though duck hunting
may seem barbaric,

it's actually very important
for our ecosystems.

This is fun, hey, babe?

I'm just so excited
to assassinate

something majestic!

[BIRDS CALLING]

PATRICE: Yes!

[IN FRENCH] - Two nothing Patrice!
- I shot it.

[IN ENGLISH] Fuck off.[IN
FRENCH] Both of you, shut up.

[CHUCKLES]

[IN ENGLISH] Shooting
blanks, Gordo?

I had the, uh, the safety
on. But safety first!

I got a fish!

Yeah, great! See? I
knew you had it in you!

Oh! So supportive.

It's not a sport,
it's a massacre.

[GUNSHOTS IN DISTANCE]
Thing just wants to fly.

[SIGHS]

[INDISTINCT SHOUTING][GUNSHOTS
IN DISTANCE]

[BLOWS DUCK CALL]

[PLAYS CHEERFUL MELODY]

[BIRD CALLING]

[GASPS]

[BIRD SQUAWKS]

I got one!

[LAUGHS]

Shooting blanks...

He's huge! He's a big gun!

Oh no![DRAMATIC
ORCHESTRA MUSIC PLAYS]

False alarm! False alarm, guys.

- I didn't get anything.
- Stop being humble, Gordon.

You gotta celebrate your kill!

My kill wants privacy.

Oh, my God, Gordon,

that's not a duck,
that's a swan.

SOPHIE: Oh, no, Coucou!

Hey, shit, dude!

I... I got blinded by the sun,

and I... I thought it
was a... a large duck.

Also, in my defense,

I think I may have
gotten a bad kazoo,

'cause this definitely
calls swans.

I think it's time to turn
in your gun, Golden Eye.

Let's cut, guys.
Okay? Should we cut

for a second, please?

SOPHIE: Our duck has
roasted in its fat

for about an hour and a half,

and now, the meat should
literally fall off the bone.

Mm! Look at all those
juices caressing the thighs.

Nice and moist, just
the way I like it.

Perfect. Now I would like to
bring out Monsieur Tremblay!

[IN FRENCH] Go,
go, go! Mais non!

[ALL SPEAKING FRENCH]

[IN ENGLISH] Come on over,
Alphie, you musky hunk!

[SOPHIE SPEAKING FRENCH]

[IN ENGLISH] I would
like to announce

that Tremblay Farms will
be the sole lamb supplier

for my new restaurant, Ruby,
at the Château Frontenac,

opening this summer in
gorgeous Quebec City.

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

- [IN FRENCH] For real?
- Yes.

[IN ENGLISH] For real?

- [IN FRENCH] That's crazy!
- You're telling me this on TV?

[IN ENGLISH] Well, thank you!

And a special shout out
to the original gangster,

the Tremblay matriarch,
Mammie Tremblay.

May you grace the farmlands
of heaven for all of eternity.

Cut! Best show ever!

[ALL CHEER]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

ALL: [CHANTING] Ruby! Ruby!
Ruby! Ruby! Ruby! Ruby!

Ruby, Ruby, Ruby...

SOPHIE: [IN FRENCH]
No, for real!

[IN ENGLISH] I was freaking
out! It did not show on camera?

I felt like I was on, like,
this buzz, like my lips were

my lips were sticking
to my teeth.[LAUGHS]

SOPHIE: I was sweating.
I couldn't... No.

RUBY: No, shut up, honestly.
You were incredible.

I mean, you'll get phone calls
for your own show from this.

[MUMBLES] I'm telling
you. You're beautiful.

- Phone's gonna be ringing.
- Okay, madame.

ALPHONSE: [IN FRENCH]
She's right, sweetie.

You look fantastic on TV.

Oh, thanks, Dad.
[KISSES] I love you.

I've got a few notes if you want
to become the next Rachael Ray.

[SOPHIE SPEAKING FRENCH]

JULIETTE: I'm kidding.
You were perfect.

JUNIOR: She's one-of-a-kind.

JULIETTE: You've got potential.

[IN ENGLISH] So, Ruby,
you're a Jag girl, huh?

I would have thought
you'd drive, like,

an electric car to
set a good example

for your legions of followers.

Well, not to throw my bestie,
Elon, under the Hyperloop,

but some experts say
that those batteries

are more toxic to
the environment

than CO2 emissions.

Well, I think your
experts are full of shit.

I think you're jealous
I drive a collectible.

Well, you can collect...

Keep working on that.

Everyone! Attention,
s'il vous plaît!

Ruby has a speech, everybody!

Gather 'round! Maybe
there'll be a song.

[CHUCKLES]

Well, Sophie, it has
been an epic two weeks.

Yeah.

RUBY: And in that
time, I've seen you

explode out of your chrysalid
like a fiery monarch.

[LAUGHS]

RUBY: So I wanted to
take this opportunity,

in front of your entire family,

to offer you the executive
chef position at the Château.

You won the job![ALL CHEER]

[GASPS]

[IN FRENCH] My daughter
is coming home!

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

[IN ENGLISH] Surprise!

[IN FRENCH] Dad! Oh my
God, I'm coming home!

[IN ENGLISH] I want
to make a speech, too.

I got a speech, too!

[GLASS CLINKS]

I got a... I got a
speech, too, everybody.

Uh, thank you for
your attention.

All just really beautiful.
Babe, I love you so much.

And she's right,
you're incredible.

You're incredible,
and I love you.

And it's just to me, personally,

it's a shame that you're
gonna be wasting your talents

on some poser chef's
vanity project.

Gordon... GORDON: No.

I mean, that was a power move,

swooping in and saving the
entire farm from bankruptcy.

I mean, hats off to you.

You gotta win over
the dad, right?

That's enough.

Yeah, I agree with
Alphonse. It's enough.

It's enough with the fucking
restaurant and the lip line

and the fucking all this.
I've had enough of it.

The girl who can't do wrong.

Whereas everyone thinks I'm
the guy who kills fucking swans

and punches fathers in the face.

At this point, you probably
all think I killed Mammie!

[ALL GASP] I didn't kill
Mammie. I didn't kill Mammie.

[IN FRENCH] Gordie, let's go
chill in the chicken house.

[IN ENGLISH] I'm not going
to the chicken house!

You shouldn't be living
in a chicken house!

I bet you're really good in bed.

[GASPS] GORDON: Is
she good in bed, baby?

Or do you need a refresher,

because I'm sure
she'll give you one.

Someone should be
using the waterbed.

[IN FRENCH] I said
that's enough!

[IN ENGLISH] What are you doing?

Fuck!

Sophie, wait, wait, wait!

What the hell is wrong with you?

I'm sorry, I was tryna be
funny. Everyone was laughing.

- I'm sorry. I'm sorry!
- SOPHIE: So I only got this job

because she wants
to sleep with me?

Is that what you think?

Forget about all the hard work
that I've put into this, right?

Well, admit there's
a chance I'm right.

Did you ever want
me to have this?

Do you want to have it?

Because we have a pretty
fucking great life,

where you're cooking
food that you love.

But I don't know, Sophie.

Maybe there aren't
enough cameras around.

Okay, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry
that I have ambition.

I'm sorry that she
believes in me.

Believes in you? She's
in love with you!

Are you kidding me? How
do you not see that?

You definitely see that, right?

And of course she is, because
you're fucking perfect!

But I think you need
to admit to yourself

that you're also still
in love with her.

She did break your heart, right?

Yeah. Yeah, she broke my heart.

And then I left her.

And I found you.

And then, she came
crawling back,

and you thought,

"Maybe I could sleep my
way to a Michelin star."

I think you should go.

You heard her.

I did.

[CRIES]

["SAN JUAN" PLAYING]

[MAN TALKING ON TV]

And remember, if you
can't handle the heat,

throw on some oven mitts,

because everyone
belongs in the kitchen.

Till next time!

Sophie...

[IN FRENCH] Sophie, call him.

Not after what he did.

Make a scene at dinner?

If anything, that makes him
more a part of the family.

He humiliated me.

If you can't see he
did it out of love,

maybe he was right
to say those things.

He made it all about himself.

It's not about him.

It's about me and
getting the job.

Yeah. And you got it.

But at what cost?

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

[CAR DOOR OPENS]

[IN ENGLISH] Hey!

Thank you so much, man.
I really appreciate it.

I couldn't show my face after
everything that happened.

JUNIOR: Here you go.

[IN FRENCH] Yeah, it
was pretty fucked up.

[IN ENGLISH] So humiliating.

Anyway, how is she?

She was gone before I woke up.

GORDON: Right. It's
the big night, huh?

Forget about all
that. Are you ready?

Are you ready to
crush this test?

[SIGHS] I'm so nervous, I
could piss my legs, you know.

"Piss my pants"
is the expression,

but I doubt that's
gonna come up.

Don't worry.

Thanks for believing
in me, Gordon.

You're a good guy.

Go make me proud, okay? Kick
ass. Do it for Van Damme.

JUNIOR: Yeah.

Hey...

She still loves you.

Good luck!

["L'AMOUR L'AMOUR
L'AMOUR" PLAYING]

Can we have someone else
come and bring these out?

[SPEAKS FRENCH] Right away!

WAITER: Voilà, chef. Merci!

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Ah!

[IN FRENCH] The most
beautiful family in town

doesn't wait in line!
Please go ahead.

Merci! Merci beaucoup!

VIP! [CHUCKLES][CHUCKLES]

Hey, it's the weatherman
from Channel 3!

Let's just stay calm.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

- Shit, it's Georges St-Pierre!
- Go talk to him!

[CLEARS THROAT] Sorry.

Sorry, Georges. I just wanted
to say, you're my hero.

Uh, the first time I...

[SIGHS IN AWE]

The first time I shaved my
head was because of you.

Ah, cool. Oui.

Actually, the first time
was 'cause I had lice,

but the second time
was 'cause of you.

I don't have lice anymore.
[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]

Your jiu-jitsu tattoo, I
want to get the same one.

I just need more cash.

That's interesting, - huh, Marcellus?
- If you ever need

a grappling partner,
text me. 418-22...

I'll call you.
[MOUTHS INDISTINCTLY]

Relax! Don't touch my
fucking chain, dude.

- I think he's gonna call me.
- It seems that way.

Oh! [CHUCKLES]

[IN ENGLISH] I'm flying
out on the red eye.

So, that's it?

GORDON: What do you mean?
Have you not been listening?

It's over. I lost.

Honey, I love you.

But you've played it
safe way too long.

You've never left this
neighborhood. I mean,

you teach at the high
school that you went to.

And that's a little
bit my fault.

When your mother passed away,

I did everything I could
to protect you, and I...

I think I turned you
into a bit of a pussy.

Are you trying to be helpful?

She's a fighter, Gordon!

It runs in her family.

So, fight back and show her
you're not down for the count.

That's what marriage is!

If you get on that plane, son,

you'll be giving up
the greatest thing

that's ever happened to you.

And as much as I'd
love to keep you close,

I'd rather have you living
happily in another country

than be miserable in Brooklyn.

Also, for Christ's sakes,

would you get me a
goddamn Canadian passport?

I can't just show up, Dad, okay?

This is the biggest
night of her life.

I'm the last person in the
world she wants to see.

I'm gonna make an ass of myself.

That's exactly what
you have to do!

Holy shit, you're right!

[INSPIRING MUSIC PLAYING]

[ALL CHEERS]

GINETTE: Wow![IN FRENCH]
It looks like soap.

You idiot, it's a mousse!

[EXCLAIMS]

The Tremblays, my loves!

Oh!

[IN ENGLISH] Pretty
effin delish, am I right?

[IN FRENCH] Yeah,
it's, it's, it's...

Exactly.

[IN ENGLISH] Oh! Don't
forget to eat the plates.

They're made entirely
out of compressed crab.

Oh! So good! Okay,
bon appétit![CHUCKLES]

[IN FRENCH] She wants
us to eat the plate?

Hey, uh, have you
spoken to Gordon?

No, I thought he talked to you.

No.

He's heartbroken. He left.

[WIND WHISTLING]

[CHUCKLES]

- How are you?
- Good.

Thanks so much, man. C'est rien.

[IN ENGLISH] Hey,
hey! I'm so sorry.

Buh, buh, buh, buh, buh!

I've never done this in my
life before, I swear. I-I...

I need to, um... I don't know
how to say it en français.

Uh, I need to.

[IN FRENCH] cut
the line for love.

Touching.

[IN ENGLISH] Are you.
- On the list? - I am on the list.

- HOST: Yeah?
- Well, I was on the list.

It's been a pretty
crazy 24 hours,

and I don't know if
I'm still on the list.

It really depends on when the
list was created and edited.

So, if you look,
it's Gordon Kinski.

Kin... With a K? GORDON: Yeah.

Kinski. No, you're not.

But I hear Cirque du
Soleil is hiring right now.

Can I just talk to you mano
a mano for just one second?

This is one of
those times in life

where you can really step
up and do the right thing,

because my future, my happiness,
my true love is in there,

and I need your help
to make things right.

There's a fork in the road.

It's all in your tiny, beautiful
little manicured hands.

What do you say? Please,
I'm begging you, let me in.

[GRUNTS]

[GRUNTS]

[HORSE SNORTS]

GORDON: Hey, I'm just
storming the castle.

How's your night going?

["LAISSE UNE CHANCE AÀ
NOTRE AMOUR" PLAYING]

- Soph.
- Hey.

RUBY: You know, I just
wanna say, I'm sorry

about everything Gordon
has put you through.

You're handling yourself
like a true pro.

Thanks. It's a little
overwhelming, but...

With great success
comes a ton of jealousy.

Believe me, I know.

But the sooner you
cut those toxic people

out of your life, the
higher you can fly.

[IN FRENCH] I'll be right back.

- ALPHONSE: Gordon.
- Alphonse.

[IN ENGLISH] You got a
lot of nerve coming here.

You're right. Last night
I was a complete asshole.

I'm so sorry. I
was totally drunk

and insecure. I'm
not making excuses.

I... I take full responsibility.
But I love your daughter,

and I'm not giving
up that easily.

I want to ask you for
her hand in marriage.

We're magic together.

And I don't just
mean in the kitchen.

[IN FRENCH] What are you doing?

[IN ENGLISH] Why pretend?
We both want this.

Oh, my God!

You are the last person I
would ever want to be with.

Things change.

Sometimes, for the best.

Don't you know how
much I've done for you?

You called me, okay?

So don't act like you're
some kind of savior here.

[SCOFFS] Okay, I'm sorry,

but who saved your shitty
family farm from bankruptcy?

She deserves to be happy.

Yeah.

I'm sorry I killed your swan.

I want you to
remember this moment.

When you could have
been something,

but you threw it all away and
went back to being nothing.

'Cause that's what you are
without me. You're nothing.

And I want you to
remember this moment

when I broke your
perfect little nose.

[GRUNTS]

What the fuck?

Oh, not the face! Malcolm!

Hey, hey, hey!

[IN FRENCH] Where are you going?

[IN SHAKY VOICE]
Dad, I don't know.

[STUTTERING] I have
to call Gordon.

Hey, listen. It's okay.

He was here.

Huh? Oui.

Yes. It wasn't easy, but

he saw you and Ruby kissing.

Kissing? I just punched
her in the face!

What?[IN ENGLISH]
Guys... [PANTS]

I just checked online.

I passed! I'm gonna be a cop!

SOPHIE: Dad, please.

Where's Gordon?

Did I miss something?

[IN ENGLISH] You want
me out of here, Ruby?

I'm out of here.

As soon as I figure out
how to drive manual.

[ENGINE STARTS][IN FRENCH]
Where are you going?

[ENGINE REVS, STALLS]

[WHISPERS] Ow!

[IN ENGLISH] Okay,
here we go. Here we go!

- PASSERBY: Hey!
- GORDON: Sorry!

[IN FRENCH] Naughty boy.

[ENGINE SPUTTERING][IN
ENGLISH] Come on!

SOPHIE: [IN FRENCH]
Is he outside?

He can't be far.

Hey, have you seen Gordon?

He just stole Ruby's
car. Very slowly.

Gordon!

Gordon, stop![ENGINE REVVING]

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

JUNIOR: Yes, backup!

Hey, allô!

Constable Junior Tremblay.
Police. I need your car.

Where's your badge?

Uh, I just graduated today.

[CHUCKLES] And I just got
promoted to Captain, fuck off.

Hey, hey. A little respect.

He worked hard. And
I'm proud of him.

Thanks, Dad.

Can we talk about this
later? Officer, please.

He's the love of my life.

Okay. Get in.[IN ENGLISH] Yes!

[ENGINE ROARS]

[GEARBOX CLUNKING] Ease it
out. Ease it out. Come on!

In second gear.

You know what, I do
need to... Clutch down.

Where are you, two? Is that it?

[IN FRENCH] We should track
his phone like Jason Bourne.

Where are you, Gordon?

Oh! Merci.

Excuse me. [CHUCKLES]

Have you seen... any
member of my family?

Why does it smell
like cigarettes?

It's true it does smell.

As soon as I got in the car,
I was so grossed out. Yuck.

[SIREN WAILS] SOPHIE:
It's him! There he is!

[IN ENGLISH] No, no, no!
I'm just borrowing it, sir!

Oh, shit![TIRES SCREECH]

[IN FRENCH] He's
out of his mind!

Tokyo Drift, Gordie!

[IN ENGLISH] Yes! I am
the best at car chases!

[IN FRENCH] Can you
go around, please?

[IN ENGLISH] A
lot of grinding...

[SIREN WAILS]

Clutch down.

Yeah, second gear, yes!

Yes! Yes!

Yes! No, no, no!

[SCREAMS] Shit!

[IN FRENCH] He's gonna
crash into the...

[GASPS]

[BEEPS]

You're awake.

Hey!

[IN ENGLISH] Hey, sweetie!

I had the most
horrible dream, babe.

I saw you kiss Ruby,

and then I drove her
car into a building.

That all happened.

But she kissed me, and I
punched her in the face.

- Really?
- Yeah.

Oh! That makes me so happy.

[CHUCKLES]

What about your job?

I quit.

- Really?
- SOPHIE: Yeah.

- I'm sorry.
- I'm not.

There's something I
wanted to ask you.

Will you marry me?

- Where did you get that?
- When the nurses cut your pantaloons off,

they found it in your pocket.

They destroyed my pantaloons?

They did.

They were rented.

But, babe, I wanted to ask
your father's permission first.

It's important to me.

[ALPHONSE CLEARS
THROAT] Alphonse?

You have my blessing.

Welcome to the family, Gordie!

[IN FRENCH] Wait, he
hasn't said yes yet.

[IN ENGLISH] So?

[IN FRENCH] Yes. [IN
ENGLISH] I love you so much.

[IN FRENCH] Yes,
yes, yes.[CHUCKLES]

[IN ENGLISH] - Give me your beautiful finger.
- SOPHIE: Oh, my God!

[IN FRENCH] I love you so much!

[IN ENGLISH] Ah, baby, my
ribs are... Careful, okay.

Ah! Ow!

Oh, babe! Ow! Ow!

As Cassius famously
said to Brutus:

"It is not in the stars
to hold our destiny,

but in ourselves."

That's not gonna be on the test.

It's just a quote I really like.

[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]

Remember, oral
exams are Tuesday.

- One minute each!
- ROBERT: Don't worry.

When I oral, it's always
at least one minute.

Double-entendre from
Robert, everybody.

[IN FRENCH] Have a good weekend!

[UPLIFTING MUSIC PLAYING]

MAMMIE'S KITCHEN

- Alphonse!
- Hey, Gordie!

GORDON: [IN FRENCH] - Do you need a hand?
- No, I'm good.

Everyone is inside.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Hello, beautiful.

Hey, Allô![CHUCKLES]

Hey!

Hello, my baby. [KISSES] Hello!

- How are you guys doing?
- I'm so hungry.

[IN ENGLISH] So,
can you grab these?

[IN FRENCH] With
pleasure. Merci.

[IN ENGLISH] Hey, everybody!

[ALL EXCLAIM]

[IN FRENCH] It looks delicious!

- [IN ENGLISH] Amazing!
- Oh!

- [IN FRENCH] You're good.
- Oh, thank you.

[IN ENGLISH] So, Junior,

- you're a cop, huh?
- Yes, sir!

You ever shot anyone?

Uh, no.

But my girlfriend and I, we
tased a bike thief yesterday.

OFFICER: [IN FRENCH]
"We?" No, I tased him.

Yeah, but I'm the
one who saw him.

[IN ENGLISH] I'm the
one who saw him first.

- I could have tased him.
- I don't give a rat's ass,

as long as someone was tased
and justice was served.

Dad, can you watch
your language?

- There's a toddler here.
- Oh, sorry.

[IN FRENCH] Don't worry,
I've said much worse.

[IN ENGLISH] Oh,
by the way, Peter,

I loved your Widow's Hammock.

My goodness! Thank you, Ginette.

- I hope I'm not overstepping.
- But he will, watch.

PETER: But would you consider
being the cover model

for my next book?

[IN FRENCH] Did
you hear, Alphonse?

He asked me to be
his cover model.

Cover model![CHUCKLES]
GINETTE: Yes.

[IN ENGLISH] You wanna take
it easy there, I'Anglais.

[ALL LAUGH]

JUNIOR: [IN FRENCH]
Drink more wine, Dad.

[IN ENGLISH] She'd be so happy.

GORDON: You know,
I never told you,

I have a pretty funny story
about her and the ring.

SOPHIE: You do? Really?

No, it wasn't
actually that funny.

It was pretty traumatic, - so never mind.
- What?

[IN FRENCH] No,
tell us. Oui, oui.

- No.
- What's the story?

[IN ENGLISH] What story about my
mother?[IN FRENCH] I think I know it.

Pass the cauliflower, please!

[IN ENGLISH] There will be no
chou-Fleur until you tell us.

No, jam a is.

How about a toast to
change the subject?

[IN FRENCH] To family!

[ALL CHEER]

[IN ENGLISH] It's
"familla"? "Famille."

AÀ la familla! "Famille."

AÀ la famille. AÀ la famille!

["LE DEÉBUT D'UN TEMPS
NOUVEAU" PLAYING]