All language subtitles for Sabrina.The.Teenage.Witch.S07E14.Present.Perfect.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-squalor_track3_[eng]

Look, all i'’m saying is

you have more hair to wash,

you should pay a bigger share

of the water bill.

Says the girl with the
300-watt makeup mirror.

Is something burning?

Oh! Smoke!

[ Alarm beeping]

Flames.

[ Coughing]

Great.

Blackened cookies.

Do you think Annie
will believe me

when I tell her they'’re cajun?

Why are you baking
cookies for your boss?

Well, I thought getting
her sacks of cash

would be too obvious.

This week is my
performance review,

and every little bit
of sucking up helps.

Unfortunately, sacks of cash

is exactly what the
electric company wants.

This is what we
each owe for utilities.

But if I pay that, I won'’t have
enough for my car payment

ormy nails.

Not even one coat.

How pathetic am I?

I'’m going to have to put

half of this on my credit cards.

Plastic! Yes, i'’m saved.

No. All mine are maxed out.

So? There are,
like, five applications

for new ones in today'’s mail.

Of course. That is good.

This is america.

Exactly. Life, Liberty
and the pursuit

of the perfect
little black dress.

Ooh.

I think I put one
too many eggs in.

Whoa. Well, guess that answers

the whole "chicken
or the egg" question.

♪ Life'’s changing around me,
and i'’m gonna make it mine ♪

♪ i'’m reaching out and
living by my rules... ♪

♪ Time'’s moving way too fast ♪

♪ I wanna make it last...

♪ '’cause i'’m out
on my own now ♪

♪ and I like the way it feels.

Someone looks
pretty spiffy today,

and I Don'’t just mean me.

I'’m meeting Aaron after work.

It'’s our first official date,

and I want to look perfect.

Oh! Is that a hole?

Oh, no. Just lace.

For the record, the
way to a man'’s heart

is not through his stomach.

Here, i'’ll prove it.

Hey, hands off.

Those are a shameless
bribe for Annie.

Along with the
mocha-almond coffee I made.

Hello?

Who made this coffee?

I did. It'’s disgusting.

You know I Don'’t
like anything sweet.

Except for an occasional
chocolate chip cookie.

All right, spellman,

we'’ve got work
to do, and by "we,"

I mean you. I need
these pages proofed.

Hey, this is your article.

Wow, you must have a lot

of faith in me. I'’m flattered.

Don'’t be. You'’re
all i'’ve got.

The temp they
sent over is dyslexic.

Me and my red pen
will get all over this.

I mean, not that i'’m
expecting a lot of mistakes.

I'’m expecting a lot of,
you know, check pluses

and "very good"s and
"good job"s and "very funny"s.

The article'’s about starvation
in Sub-Saharan Africa.

And in your capable
hands, i'’m sure it'’s hilarious.

I'’ll get started.

What, that sentence is perfect.

Except that it ends
in a preposition.

Which... Shakespeare

did all the time,

so i'’ll just turn
this question Mark

into a happy face.

You do realize

that for your review tomorrow,

Jonathan has finally consented

to letting me decide your fate.

And it'’s a good thing we get
along so well or i'’d be worried.

This has to be perfect.

Annie, apropos of
nothing, care for a cookie?

Oh, Leonard,

that'’s so sweet
of you. You know,

a little sucking up
wouldn'’t kill you, spellman.

Okay, are you sure

this is how you
spell "Madagascar"?

I'’m sure.
Merriam-Webster is sure.

The ambassador to
Madagascar is sure.

Okay, i'’m sorry.

I just can'’t afford

to make even one mistake.

I mean, am I just paranoid

or is Annie out to get me?

Oh, she'’s definitely
out to get you.

The rest of us talk
about it all the time.

Oh, well, that explains
the pointing and whispers.

Sure. Believe whatever you want.

Okay, well, after tomorrow,

Annie is going to
be my biggest fan.

Good. Does that mean we'’re done

and we can finally
get something to eat?

Eat. Dinner. Aaron. Oh, no.

Oh, so much for
tonight being perfect.

Oh, late for your
first date, huh?

Could that be

your subconscious calling out

for a steaming hot
bowl of Leonard stew?

No, but I think I did
just hear it scream.

Oh, hey. Aaron.

Yeah. I'’m so sorry.
I am on my way.

Well, actually, i'’m
in the parking lot.

Late and lying.

This relationship is doomed.

No, that'’s just the valet.

Thank you for your input, sir.

Now, please, just park the car.

Okay, i'’ll be right there.

Bye, Leonard.

"Bye, Leonard."

"Thanks for staying late."

"Thanks for helping me out."

Hey, thanks for staying
late and helping me out.

Hey, anytime.

She sowants me.

Hi.

Oh. Hi.

I, um, didn'’t see you come in.

Oh, then you missed

my pirouette by
the dessert cart?

I'’m sorry i'’m late.

Oh, Don'’t worry about it.

You look really beautiful.

Thanks. You, too.

Well... or whatever
the male equivalent is.

So, um... you must be starving.

No, I ordered an
artichoke for us to share

and... it was delicious.

Not to worry... I'’ve
ordered us another one.

Oh. Perfect.

I love artichokes, you know.

Totally underrated vegetable.

I mean, grows its own wrapper,

leaves conveniently
shaped for dipping...

And really hard to
hold on to. I'’m sorry.

Oh, Don'’t worry about it.

My fault for not
putting down a napkin

or wearing rubber pants.

I think i'’m just
really nervous.

You know, I wanted
our first date to be perfect

and here I am, you know,
late and throwing food all over...

The restaurant.

It'’s okay.

[ Blowing]

Five-second rule.

You know, um, it would be
okay if you said something.

In fact, it would be helpful.

Are you kidding?

I'’m enjoying the performance.

Well, then you should
stay for the late show.

I mean, not that i'’m
implying anything.

Not that i'’m not
implying anything. I just...

Please say something.

So...

Seen any good movies?

Great. Another credit card

activated and ready to go.

Plus, it came with 10,000
miles on Icelandic air.

This is so easy.

You should have seen
what I had to fill out

to get a blockbuster membership.

Why it is easier
to get a credit card

than rent a night
at the roxbury?

Ooh, Sabrina'’s home.

We should probably clear out,

give them some privacy.

You'’re right.

We Don'’t want to
be nosy roommates.

How sweet, he'’s
going in for the kiss.

No, Sabrina, tilt to the left.

His left, his left.

Ooh. Ooh.

That'’s gotta hurt.

Sorry again.

Are you sure you
Don'’t want to come in?

No, I think the cold air

will help stop the
bleeding. Night!

Hey, Sabrina.

That was officially
the worst date

of my entire life.

There is no way he'’s
ever going to want

to go out with me again.

Then it'’s good he'’s the
one with the bloody nose.

And my day was
hardly any better.

Let'’s just hope that
this is all the storm

before the calm of tomorrow'’s
glowing performance review.

Before I forget, Leonard called.

He thinks you might have
misspelled "Madagascar."

[ Groans]

Another mistake brought to you

by the incompetents at Sabrina.

I'’m sorry, Sabrina.

Can we at least
buy you something?

Thanks to you, we'’ve
got a $100,000 limit.

No, I Don'’t think anything
could possibly help.

Except maybe one of those
little foot massager thingies.

That wouldn'’t hurt.

Maybe, actually,
one for each foot.

Mistakes, goofs,

blunders, faux pas...

Check the appendix.

This book doesn'’t
have an appendix.

But youdo.

The appendix is

nature'’s biggest mistake.

Well, since the dog.

This is relevant how?

Little-known fact...

If a witch gets rid
of her appendix,

she'’ll be mistake-free.

Hmm, remove a minor non-vital
organ without anesthesia?

Well, after what i'’ve
been through today,

that doesn'’t sound so bad.

Mistakes that I make
cause damage and strife.

Help me remove the
cause from my life.

Holy appendectomy!

Please tell me

you'’re board certified.

Yes. I'’m ouija board certified.

Here you go, a little souvenir.

My appendix is in there?

What am I supposed
to do with this...

I mean, put it with
my old retainer?

I turned mine into a hacky sack.

Well, that was useless.

I Don'’t feel any different.

Nope, not in the slightest.

Well, you seem
a little different.

Oh, pshaw, no different at all.

You know... oh, no
time for dillydallying.

Ticktock. Time for bed.

Perfect.

I couldn'’t possibly
sleep in an unmade bed.

Okay. Well, see you
in exactly eight hours.

Morning!

Isn'’t it a perfectly
perfect day?

Yup. Be sure to have
a muffin... or three.

I decided to have it catered.

Breakfast... it'’s
everywhere I want to be.

I'’m paying off
my student loans.

Whoever said you can'’t
put a price on education

didn'’t go to college.

I can'’t believe you
guys are being so dense.

You thought it was
a good idea, too.

Not at these interest rates.

Okay, first, transfer
this balance to this card.

Then transfer

that balance to that card.

Deduct 12% from the principle...

And you can apply
for two more cards

and a home equity loan.

Come on... print.

Okay, i'’ve given you toner.

I'’ve given you paper.

I'’ve given you
everything you asked for.

What more do you want from me?

You mind if I take
a look at that?

How'’d you do that?

Oh, I just tweaked the tolerance

on the third set of pass bars

and upped the toner to 33%.

Duh.

Oh, layout for the
skateboarding piece, huh?

Yeah, and i'’m on a little bit

of a deadline,
so if you could...

I know these are action
photos, but something'’s missing.

Ooh, I think it'’s the action.

Okay, try leading
with this one. Pow.

Then you follow with these
three... bam, bam, bam.

Yeah, you Don'’t
even need this one.

No, you know what I Don'’t need?

A perky little know-it-all
telling me how to do my job.

Oh, nice layout, James.

You'’re welcome.

Aaron, how wonderful to see you.

Okay, a little Doris day,
but I could get into it.

I just came by to see
if you'’re free for lunch.

Your timing is perfect; We
have exactly 60 minutes.

Oh, great. Okay, I read about

this terrific little Italian...

Uh... bup, bup, bup.

59 minutes. Less
talk, more walk.

Okay.

[ Soft music playing]

Well, it sounds like
work'’s been going

a lot better for you today.

Hmm? Oh, it'’s been perfect.

Is something wrong?

No, it'’s... well, yes.

It seems that

my side of the tablecloth

is hanging slightly
lower than your side

and... there'’s a stain.

Whoa!

Yeah, I know

and this is a
four-star restaurant.

Anyway, I was about to tell
you about my perfect day.

I'’m so looking forward
to this afternoon.

It'’s my performance review
and I just know that everything

is going to... excuse me.

Hi. Hi there. Hi.

You mind if I...?

Okay, first, you
pluck off the claws

like so...

Then, you pinch here and here

and voila!

Heaven in little red pants.

Bon appetit.

Wow. Between you
and I, I had no idea

you were such a stickler.

Well, between you
and me, i'’m not.

I'’m sorry, but, uh, the pronoun

in that case is, after all,
the object of a preposition.

What do you say
we get the check?

Well, I Don'’t
really see the need.

I mean, I kept a running total
of everything we had in my head.

Um, you had an iced tea...

Okay, do not say "ticktock,
ticktock, people" again.

I beg you.

I'’m sorry, but
this staff meeting

was supposed to
start two minutes ago.

I mean, my watch is set
to greenwich mean time.

Yeah, well, mine is set to Annie
mean time. Where'’s Leonard?

There you go, proofs
for next week'’s issue.

Got any changes, should
have made them this morning.

Oh, shoot, they
spelled my name wrong.

Someone changed
the title of my article.

Uh, it was a little wordy.

This has pith.

Somebody recropped
all my photos.

Guilty.

Spellman, what
were you thinking?

I asked you to proof my article.

You changed the entire thing.

But only in the interest
of good journalism.

Now it'’s perfect.

Don'’t you get it?

You changed titles,
you altered the layout,

you rewrote your boss.

What were you thinking?

Well, I was thinking,
in your case,

that your third paragraph
should be your lead,

and when you read it,
you'’ll see I was right.

Oh, well, here'’s
a lead for you:

You'’re fired.

Fired?!

Well, now, that
is not very perfect.

You heard me, spellman.
You'’re fired, effective immediately.

But I Don'’t understand. I
mean, why would you fire me?

I am error-free I
am without flaws.

I Don'’t even have any cavities.

Look, Annie, I love this job

and I am just trying to
be the best employee

I or anybody in the history
of employees could ever...

[ Cell phone rings]

Sabrina here.

Hey, Sabrina. It'’s Aaron.

Oh, hi. I Don'’t mean to imply
that your timing isn'’t perfect,

but i'’m in the middle
of a slight crisis.

Can I call you back?

You know what? No need.

Um, I was just calling to say

that I think we should
cool things down a bit.

You know, maybe take
a break from each other.

Take a break? From
what? We just started.

Look, if this is about
the artichoke incident,

I swear, i'’ve changed.

Don'’t worry. That'’s
perfectly clear.

I'’ll see you around, Sabrina.

[ Beep]

How could everything go
so wrong when I am so right?!

I might have been
a little ambiguous.

I want you out.

Okay, there'’s that preposition

at the end of a sentence again.

All right, i'’m going.

Sabrina, wait.
You'’ve got to help us.

I'’m sorry, but you and
your new karaoke machine

are just going to have to
butcher Celine Dion without me.

I just figured out there'’s no
way we can even come close

to making all of the minimum
payments on all of these cards.

And they are not giving
us any more credit.

They say that we have
no visible means of support.

Which at first I thought
was a huge compliment.

And even if we
stop spending today,

we'’ll be in our 50s
before it'’s all paid off.

I'’m sorry, but I have
bigger fish to fry.

Ooh, and that giant fish fryer
might come in quite handy.

Sabrina, you have to help us.

You'’re the one who led us
down this path of debt and despair.

And here I was, feeling
guilty about forging your name.

I'’m sorry, but I thought it
was a perfectly perfect idea.

I want my appendix back.

This spell has cost me my
job, my friends'’ financial future

a fabulous guy...

Ooh, but my hair'’s
never looked better.

Well, I can'’t help
you with the appendix.

I put it down the
garbage disposal.

It'’s sleeping
with the eggshells.

What?! Never put eggshells
down a garbage disposal.

There'’s got to be some
way to undo this spell.

You know, being
perfect is perfectly awful.

Salem, you'’ve been
around for hundreds of years.

I mean, you'’ve got to
know a way to reverse this.

Well, I might be able
to pull some strings

and get you into mistake school.

Mistake school?

Yeah, it'’s a school

for people having
trouble with mistakes.

Ooh, sounds perfect.

[ Magical ping]

Instructor: Okay, people,
we'’ve been over this before.

Once again from the top, the
comb-over, always a mistake.

Thinking that it'’s going
to clear up on its own?

Excuse me. I'’m Sabrina spellman
and I misplaced my appendix.

Consequently, i'’ve lost
my job and my boyfriend.

So, really, I just need to
learn to make mistakes again

and, uh, then I can go.

Lost your boyfriend
and your job?

Sounds like you already
know how to make mistakes.

That'’s called irony.

Okay, just tell me
what I need to do.

Let'’s start with a review
of all your mistakes.

One moment, sir.
Why is her case up?

I'’ve been here since 1876 for
a mistake I didn'’t even make!

General custer.

Whole troop wiped out
by a handful of Indians.

[ Snorts] Whoo!

That was a big mistake.

Yeah.

Hey, who took my pencil?

I'’m telling ya,
they ambushed us.

My horse was lame.

The sun was in my eyes.

[ Sotto]: I swear, I sell that
screenplay, I am so out of here.

Okay, Sabrina spellman, let'’s
take a look at your mistakes.

Those are all my mistakes?
I'’m not even that old!

This is just the a'’s.

Now we enter the
junior high years.

So, obviously, you can get
a sunburn on a cloudy day.

Oh, everybody was obsessed
with Madonna that year.

And people said I looked hot.

[ Click]

Well, that'’s a spell gone awry.

[ Click]

Another spell gone awry.

[ Click]

Gone awry!

[ Click]

Awry. But for the record, his
head eventually did grow back.

What, that sentence is perfect.

Except that it ends
in a preposition.

Mouthy little gal, ain'’t she?

Two words: Sitting bull.

All right, point taken.

I shouldn'’t have
corrected my boss.

Let'’s go to a little
later, that same day.

All right, all right! I
admit it, I make mistakes!

I'’m the worst person, witch,
employee, roommate, girlfriend,

artichoke eater in the world!

You forgot student. You'’re
just not getting it, are you?

Sabrina: Hey, that'’s me!

I'’m a determined
little thing and cute.

You fell on your
keister 1,100 times

before you finally
walked across that room.

Hey, now, that is
just being unfair.

Okay, i'’m a baby.
That'’s what babies do.

That'’s how they learn to walk.

[ Bells and whistles go off]

Oh, I get it.

Mistakes are important
because we learn from them.

So instead of wishing
i'’d never made any,

I should just embrace what
they teach me and move on.

Exactly.

And you couldn'’t have given
me this platitude two hours ago?

[ Magical ping]There you go.

Congratulations.

You'’re completely
fallible, error-prone

and will definitely make
many, many mistakes

during your lifetime.

Thanks. Can'’t
wait to get started.

So, does this
take effect right...

I guess so.

Okay, i'’m sorry if I
contributed to this problem.

I'’m sorry if I actually
made it worse.

And i'’m sorry that I wasn'’t
espousing fiscal responsibility

and sage advice, but I now
know exactly what we have to do.

What?

This.

There.

One of those was
my driver'’s license.

Oh. My mistake.

Look, I just want to say that i'’m
really sorry if I caused everyone grief.

You know, I think I was just
so afraid of making a mistake

that I stepped in a
couple of big ones.

Oh, no kidding.

I'’m probably
going to regret this

and it'’s not going to help
my reputation for being a softy,

but i'’m willing to give
you one last chance.

Whoo-hoo! Thank you so much.

Oh, one last
chance starting now?

Proof this.

Will do.

And Don'’t clog the margins

with your little happy faces.

Won'’t do.

And Don'’t flag
anything except typos.

Nope. No flags, no happy faces,

unless it'’s my happy face
'’cause i'’m so happy to be back.

Never mind. I need this done
now, and I need it done right.

I'’m going to give it to Esme.

Her English is really improving.

Well, okay. You'’re the boss.

Whatever you want is fine.

You know, and it gives
me a chance to get started

on the new article
I want to write.

Don'’t waste your time.

Oh, no, it'’s not a waste.

I'’m actually really
excited about it.

Here, let me pitch
it to you real quick.

No, I mean Don'’t waste my time.

The last thing I need
to do is slog my way

through another tedious
spellman hack piece.

Okay, maybe later.

No, wait, uh, wait a minute.

Did you just call me a hack?

Mm, let me think. Yes, I did.

Oh, okay.

No, not okay. Not okay at all.

I beg your pardon?

Look, I admit it, I might
make the occasional mistake,

but the biggest
mistake I made here

was not standing up
to you months ago.

I'’m not a hack; I'’m
a really good writer.

I bust my butt day in
and day out for you.

I do not deserve to be
treated like this ever.

You go, girl!

I mean, uh, you,
Sabrina-girl, go... home,

and think about
what you just said.

Oh, I Don'’t have
to think about it.

I know what I just said,
and I stand by it. I quit.

Oh, so you'’re just
going to walk out of here?

Do you know how difficult it
is to find a job in journalism?

You'’re making a huge mistake.

I Don'’t think so.

But if I am, i'’ll learn.

Someday i'’d like
to be the kind of girl

who makes a graceful exit.

Aaron: I certainly hope not.

Hi. What are you doing here?

I just wanted to apologize
for being such a schmuck.

I mean, what kind of guy breaks
up with a girl over the phone?

You'’re not going to do it
now in person, are you?

No. Look, I realized
you were just trying

to make everything... Perfect.

And while that'’s
sweet and flattering,

Sabrina, I love it when you'’re
wrestling with vegetables

and always showing up late.

Well, actually, that last
part isa little bit annoying,

but the point is, I Don'’t
want somebody who'’s perfect.

Well, then it'’s your lucky day.

Absolutely perfect.

That'’s fantastic. I'’ll see you

first thing tomorrow
morning. Bye.

Whoo-hoo! Salem, I just booked
my second freelance assignment.

Apparently, i'’m
quite in demand.

Yeah, that'’s great.

Do you know where the tape is?

Yeah. Here you go.

Wait a second.

What is this for?

Why do you always go there?

It'’s a roll of tape, not
c-4 plastic explosives.

Maybe I got you something,

and i'’d like to give
it a decent wrapping

instead of sticking it in
some cheesy gift bag.

All right, jeez, i'’m sorry.

I guess I just thought that
maybe you'’d try to use this

to tape these up and use them.

What? I'’ve never seen those
credit cards before in my life.