All language subtitles for Sabrina.The.Teenage.Witch.S05E14.Making.the.Grade.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-squalor_track3_[eng]

Well, thanks for coming.

And tell your friends
they'’re welcome to come

and discuss their
husbands, their boyfriends

and their husbands'’ boyfriends.

What is it about coffee

that makes people
want to spill their guts?

I Don'’t know, but those
guts are going to buy me

an outside cabin on
a Caribbean cruise.

Yeah, this little
beverage venture of yours

does seem to be paying off.

Yes, it does.

This month I may
actually turn my first profit.

Whoo-hoo!

I mean, Ka-ching.

I just wish I didn'’t have to
wait until the end of the month

to see if I made a profit.

Wait a minute, I Don'’t.

I'’ll just call in my
profit prophet, Harvey.

Your profit prophet
is a big bunny?

Oops. Wrong Harvey.

Really wrong Harvey.

Hi, Harvey. How you doing?

You know i'’ve been thinking
about you a lot recently and...

No time for chitchat.

Finally.

Sabrina, meet Harvey,
the profit prophet.

Hi. Nice staff.

Yes, the ladies seem to like it.

So, Harvey, is hilda'’s

going to be showered
with shekels by the 30th?

Let'’s have a look-see.

Nothing is coming.

You mean nothing'’s
coming for free.

Oh, so I guess

he'’s not a non-profit prophet.

So what'’s the deal, am I
going to make money or not?

Not if you keep
piddling it away like this.

Next time I go with Isaiah.

♪ Life'’s changing around me,
and i'’m gonna make it mine ♪

♪ i'’m reaching out and
living by my rules... ♪

♪ Time'’s moving way too fast ♪

♪ I wanna make it last...

♪ '’cause i'’m out
on my own now ♪

♪ and I like the way it feels.

I can'’t believe this.

I'’ve already got a
ton of homework.

How am I supposed to
write a five-page essay

on Hamlet'’s speech as
a window to his madness?

What about the
window to mymadness?

I'’m swamped, too.

I have to write a
paper on Picasso

then study for my exams
on organic chemistry

and comparative religions.

How do you do all this

and fit in baseball
practice every day?

I'’ve learned to multi-task.

I'’m on my way to
the batting cages

and i'’m bringing my
audio version of the koran.

See ya. Later.

Hey, how'’s it going?

About as well as nervous
breakdown 101 can go.

Well, you haven'’t bitten
down to the cuticle yet.

That'’s a good sign.

Like I didn'’t have
enough studying already.

Now i'’ve got to write
an essay on Hamlet.

This school is killing me.

They expect me to go to
class all day, study all night

and get straight as.

You Don'’t need straight as.

After last semester'’s
grades I do

or else i'’ll lose
my scholarship.

Wow. That'’s rough.

I Don'’t even have a scholarship

hanging over my head

and i'’m already
stressed out enough.

My statistics
class is killing me.

Here comes my professor.
He'’s a complete tyrant.

Congratulations, Sabrina.

You aced another
data analysis test.

You'’ve got a true
gift for numbers.

Do you see what I mean?

What a jerk.

Here'’s my estimated
monthly sales gross.

And here'’s my
projected annual gross

with a pudding stain on it.

Gross.

Hilda, if you want
to turn a profit

you'’re going to
have to cut costs.

Salem: Or if you really want

to make some serious moola

talk to my investment
counselor, sid.

Man: Hello?

Yeah, sid, put me down for
$100 on run like hell in the fifth.

Hey, Morgan, you almost ready?

Morgan: One more minute.

I'’m layering my scent.

I Don'’t want to know
what that means.

Okay, how does this sound?

"Hamlet, the young Danish prince

is possibly one of
Shakespeare'’s most..."

Most... most...

Most repetitive characters?

Okay, so now you'’re
making fun of me.

Like i'’m not under
enough pressure.

If I read this play
one more time

my brain'’s going to explode.

Well, now you'’ve officially
graduated to madness 102.

[ Doorbell rings]

Ryan, come on in.Thanks.

Let me guess,
you'’re here because

you'’re having as much trouble
with this Hamlet paper as I am?

Uh, no. Morgan'’s fixing
me up with a friend of hers.

We'’re doubling
with her and Josh.

Oh, hey, Ryan.
Hey, how'’s it going?

How do you have time
to go out on a date?

Don'’t tell me you already
finished your paper?

I'’ll do it after the date.

You know what they say,
"all work and no play..."

Leads to the
eventual destruction

of the cerebral cortex.

Maybe it'’s just my family.

All ready.

Morgan, we'’re just going
to Denny'’s for a burger.

You never know who
you might run into.

Yeah, there might
be a fry cook there

that can put you on the
cover of mademoiselle.

[ Laughs]

Come on, guys.

See ya later.

What'’s up with that?

Yeah, I didn'’t smell
any layers in her scent.

Not her, Ryan.

Now he smelled good.

He knocks off his
paper in his spare time

and mine'’s going
to take me all night.

I must be really stupid.

Well, first of all,
you Don'’t know

what Ryan'’s work looks
like when he turns it in.

Second of all, college
is stressful enough.

Don'’t add to it by trying
to compare yourself

to everybody else.

I hate to break it to
you but that'’s what

the whole grading
system'’s about.

Oh, well, in that case...

What are you talking to me for?

You got a paper to write, missy.

Hey, Morgan.

By the look of last night'’s
eye shadow on your chin

i'’m guessing the
evening went well.

Oh, it was fantastic.

We all ended up at this
party till 4:00 in the morning.

Really? That'’s
about the same time

that roxie got done with
her hamletpaper. Wow.

You know, if I liked her more,
i'’d sort of feel bad for her.

Roxie works her
tail off for her gpa.

How is Ryan able to
go out and party all night

and still get good grades?

Hello, star pitcher
for the baseball team?

Hello, Don'’t understand what
that has to do with anything.

Sabrina, you are so naive.

The school grades
athletes way easier.

Plus the coaches encourage
those guys to take cake classes

which are guaranteed as.

Like bowling
and lifestyle skills

which, by the way, I aced.

Giving any student that kind

of preferential treatment
is totally unethical.

[ Yawns]: Yeah.
Anyway. Whatever.

Hey, aunt Zelda

have you ever been told to
take it easier academically

on star athletes? No.

Although, I must admit I Don'’t
get a lot of middle linebackers

taking advanced
quantum mechanics.

Why do you ask?

It seems to be a
practice that goes on here

with certain teachers.

[ Gasps]: That'’s appalling.

You know the same thing happened

with the varsity
jousters in high school.

In alchemy, Merlin just
let them pull as out of a hat.

Did you do anything about it?

When was the last
time you saw a jouster?

This calls for a
closer inspection.

Much closer.

Roxie'’s paper.

She'’ll definitely get an "a."

Hey. She worked
really hard on that.

And that tickles.

An "a" for party
boy, that'’s insane.

I'’ll fix that.

[ Sabrina grunting]

Okay.

That'’s more like it.

Ow. Hey. Watch the earrings.

Hey! Hey!

No, no!

This is the last time
I buy from staples.

I wonder if there'’s any
dramamine in that drawer.

Too late.

[ Grunts]

Sabrina, you'’ve been
working on that article for hours.

Can I get you anything?

Either a solution to unfair
grading practices for athletes

or a pumpkin bagel.

Pumpkin bagel coming up.

Hey, where are
the pumpkin bagels?

In the pumpkin bagel patch?

Huh?

In the interest of
lowering overhead

we are no longer in the
exotic carbohydrate business.

From now on, all we
sell are plain bagels

and glazed doughnuts.

Hilda, we have an eclectic,
sophisticated clientele.

A lot of the people
who come in here

look forward to their
cran-apple poppy seed scones.

They may like them

but in order for me
to turn a decent profit

I would have to
charge separately

for the crans, the apples
and the poppy seeds.

Well, hey, if all you'’re
worried about is profit

why Don'’t you just start
making the cappuccinos

with instant coffee?

Way ahead of you.

You just put in some
hot, steamed mocha mix

sprinkle cinnamon on it.

Nobody will know
the difference...

Except my accountant.

This article of yours is
causing quite a stir on campus.

Oh, well, isn'’t that the
purpose of good journalism?

To shine a light on important
issues and make people think?

Exactly... and rumor has
it the school is going to

crack down on preferential
grading practices.

That'’s great.

I'’m really happy for roxie.

Finally the playing
field will be level.

I'’m very proud of you, Sabrina.

You stood up for what was right

and you didn'’t have to
cast a pox on any jousters.

You deserve a pat on the back.

Hey, there she is.

Nice work, spellman.

Oh, hey, you like my article?

Loved every word.

Thanks to you, i'’m out of the
big playoff game on Saturday.

What?

The coach

just benched me

until I finish all
my assignments.

I hope you'’re
proud of yourself.

You just cost Adams
college the championship.

At least I didn'’t
give anyone a pox.

Way to go, Sabrina.

Because of your stupid article

I can kiss my "a"
in bowling good-bye.

What are you talking about?

You'’re taking bowling?

I needed a cake class
to keep up my gpa.

Bowling was the one course

where I didn'’t have to work
my tail off to get a good grade.

But now because of
you, my teacher says

we actually have to show
up and learn how to bowl.

You'’re really taking bowling?

Yes. And now I have to get
an "a" on the bowling final.

There'’s a bowling final?

There is now.

Look, i'’m sorry, I really am.

I just wanted to
make things fair.

For you, for everybody.

Well, i'’m not everybody.

I'’m just someone who'’s
going to fail bowling

and lose her scholarship.

Thanks a lot, spellman.

Can'’t believe
this is happening.

Can'’t believe
there'’s a bowling final.

One glaze donut and
freeze-dried coffee coming up.

Thank you kindly, son.

So, how much rain you
figure we'’re going to get?

Same amount as when you
asked me five minutes ago.

That'’s true.

Those dang weathermen
never get it right.

How much do you think
weathermen get paid?

The same amount as when
you asked me five minutes ago.

You have a nice day now.

Well, that depends on
the weather, doesn'’t it?

You'’re catching on.

Hilda, this glaze-donut crowd

is driving me crazy.

I'’m ready to beat my head
against the Espresso machine.

Do it quick '’cause
i'’m trading down

to an instant hot
cocoa dispenser.

Thanks to the glaze-donut
crowd, i'’m rolling in dough.

Nothing against making money

but the quality of
conversation in here

has gone from "is
there a god?" To

"are you bass biting
down at the lake?"

I had no idea you
were such an elitist.

You need to embrace
the down-homesiness

of our new customers.

[ Southern accent]:
Hi, Wayne. Huh?

Knee still acting up?

[ Groaning]

Lorene, let me know
which hot dish to bring

to fellowship supper.

[ Gasping]: I love
that new leg, Fred.

Aunt hilda, since when
do you talk like someone

who married their first cousin?

Since it started making me a
pickle barrel of cash. Yeehaw.

Check your I.Q. At the door.

Our new customers
say it'’s looking like rain

over and over and over again.

Well, i'’d rather
hear about the rain

than how i'’m responsible
for Adam'’s star pitcher

not playing in the game
against Emerson on Saturday.

Josh, do you think writing
that article was a mistake?

Absolutely not.

You stuck with your
convictions, you took a stand

you let everybody know
that Sabrina spellman

cares about what'’s right.

Thanks, Josh.

Wait a minute, you Don'’t
care about the principle.

You just want your
school to win on Saturday.

I want justice to win.

And if my school should
benefit in the process

so be it.

[ Southern accent]:
You have a nice day now.

Excuse me.

Any chance it'’s fixin'’
to rain on Saturday?

Could be, '’cause
my knee is actin'’ up.

Course, could be
from the other day

when I bent down funny.

Oh, geez, there it is.

Hey.

Oh... it'’s you.

You'’re not still mad at me
about the game, are you?

No. Now i'’m mad at you

because you put a major
crimp in my social life.

Ryan was going to take
Josh and me to a party

but now he'’s home,
chained to his books.

Look, I know it seems unfair now

but in 20 years, somebody
somewhere will thank me.

Please, god, I hope.

It certainly won'’t be me.

Me, either.

Thanks to you, I have to study
introduction to bowling theory

for the all-important written
portion of my final exam.

Then i'’ll have exactly one
hour to throw a bowling ball

that doesn'’t land
in the snack bar.

I know how to bowl.

I could give you some pointers.

Oh, that'’s a great idea.

Miles is probably
an incredible bowler.

I mean, that is a
face that screams

"I own my own ball."

16 pounds, orange marble
witha monogrammed bag.

You can lift a 16-pound ball
with those scrawny arms?

Believe me, it took
years of conditioning.

Look, it'’s a great
learning opportunity.

Plus, you'’re desperate.

Go!

Fine. I mean, great.

Let me just grab a wrist
guard, chamois and rosin bag.

It only gets better.

Oh! I'’m never
going to learn this!

Sure you will.

It'’s very simple.

First, you step forward
on the right foot.

Extend the ball, going
through a down-swing.

Then, bring the ball
into a back-swing slowly

as the left foot
gradually comes forward.

Then, when you reach
the top of the back-swing

step forward on the right foot

going through a
slide on the left foot.

Then, at precisely the
moment the slide ends

release the ball, thumb
first, and position your hand

at approximately a
45-degree angle to your eyes.

And that'’s all there is to it?

No. I like to do a little
dance right about now.

Hey, Salem, have
you seen aunt Zelda?

Since when did I become
her personal secretary?

Which horse do you like better?

Shaved Turkey or slap me silly?

I know i'’d like
to slap yousilly.

And i'’d like to shave a Turkey.

The point is

i'’ve got to pick a horse
and call my bookie.

Oh, by the by

i'’ve also got a boatload riding

on the Adams-Emerson game.

Well, I hope you
didn'’t bet on Adams.

Thanks to my article,
the star pitcher can'’t play

and everyone'’s
expecting us to lose big.

[ Gasping]: I'’ve got
to page sid at the track

and tell him I meant Emerson!

God, I hope he'’s still sober.

Hi, honey.

I'’m so glad to see you.

I can guarantee

you'’re the only person in town

who said thattoday.

You should be
proud of what you did.

You tried to
correct an injustice

and that'’s truly admirable.

Then why is everyone
looking at me like

i'’m the one who told
Felicity to cut her hair?

Sabrina, you Don'’t do a
selfless thing for the glory.

You do it because it'’s right.

Well, I Don'’t think it'’s right
that roxie lose her scholarship

or for Adams to
lose the big game.

There'’s got to be some
way to set things right.

Well, you could use your
powers to make it rain frogs

but that'’s been done to death.

What about cats and dogs?

If you think frogs are messy...

Acid rain? No. Too much.

I'’ll come up with something.

Yes! I think i'’m finally
getting the hang of this.

What'’s my score now?

12, in the fifth frame.

Is that good?

Only if you'’re on a respirator.

Guys, how'’s the lesson going?

Do you really want to know?

I Don'’t know. Do I?

My final starts in five minutes

and the only way
i'’m going to pass

is if I run down the alley
and throw myself at the pins.

Do they allow that?

Hey, i'’ve never taken bowling.

I'’m telling you,
you can do this.

I showed you all the moves.

You just have to relax.

My scholarship'’s going
right into the gutter.

How am I supposed to relax?

I may have a way.

Roxie'’s too uptight, we know.

Chill her out, so she
can bowl like a pro.

Very nice!

Got to go.

[ Knocking at door]

[ Sighs]

Okay, let me start
by saying i'’m sorry.

Now that that'’s done

let'’s get down to business.

Excuse me?

You got to finish your work

and bring your
grades up by Saturday

and i'’m here to help.

You want to help?

Turn around, and
walk back out that door.

Okay, Ryan, look, you'’re
probably so overwhelmed

you Don'’t even
know where to begin

and you'’ve probably
forgotten how to study

you'’ve skated by for so long.

And you'’re certainly not going
to get anywhere by doodling

"I hate Sabrina."

Yeah, well, what
am I supposed to do?

First of all, never spell
"Sabrina" with three ns.

Second of all, the sooner
we open these books

the sooner you'’ll be
on that playing field.

I Don'’t think that'’s
going to happen.

Sit down, and
let'’s talk Hamlet.

So, I finally break down

and get myself one
of them ridin'’ mowers

and what happens?

It rains for days

so I can'’t mow my lawn.

It'’s the darndest thing.

"The darndest thing"?

I'’ll tell you what'’s
the darndest thing.

This conversation

and every conversation
i'’ve had in this place

since you glaze-donut
people took over.

All you talk about is
the weather, your fish

and your farm equipment.

I Don'’t care about profits.

I want my cran-apple
poppy-seed people back.

Cran-apple poppy seed?!

That'’s crazy talk!

Oh, yeah?

Well, how'’s this
for crazy talk?

Skeedaddle! Shoo! Shoo!

Y'’all, Don'’t come
back now, ya hear?

And take this complimentary jar

of freeze-dried coffee with you.

The missus will
really like this.

[ Sighing] Thanks, boss.

Anyone want some of
my tofu seaweed omelet?

Sure, i'’ll try it.

Ooh, it'’s not to eat

it'’s a deep-cleaning
facial mask.

That explains the
witch Hazel aftertaste.

Hi.

Nighty-night.

Hold on... it'’s 9:00 A.M.

Where'’ve you been all night?

Ryan'’s dorm room.

What?! what?!

We were just studying.

Yeah. Right.

Like i'’ve never
used that one before.

Relax.

I was helping him
catch up with his classes.

He'’s halfway through... it'’s
up to him to go the distance.

Speaking of which...
I'’m not a witch!

Excuse me?

Sorry. I'’m really tired.

Did you say something?

I passed my bowling
final with flying colors.

That'’s great! Congratulations.

Yeah. I'’ll be able to
keep my scholarship.

And you know what? It was
kind of fun learning a new skill.

I have much to teach you.

Just think of me as
your personal Yoda.

Or we could just
stick with "hey, you."

Oh, hey, roxie. Hey, miles.

Why are you dressed
like ray Charles?

Oh, I just came to
slip into my 3:00 class

and slip out with my life.

That is, unless Ryan
turned in his work on time

and things are back to normal.

Hey, spellman, I hope you
trip over your laptop and die.

Well, at least you
guys appreciate me.

It'’s good to know I still
have friends I can count on.

We'’re here for you, Sabrina.

Through thick and thin.

Hey, Sabrina...

We'’re out of here.

I'’ve got good news.

I handed in all my assignments

and I get to play on Saturday.

Did everyone hear that?

Ryan gets to play in the
game on Saturday! Woo-hoo!

Ow!

How am I going to
pitch if I can'’t see?

I can'’t believe I lost
the championship twice

and it hasn'’t even
been played yet.

I was just having
some fun with you.

But to be on the safe side...

Do you think you could stay
away from the field on Saturday?

Yeah, anything I can do to
be a good athletic supporter.

Gotta go.

Announcer: Adams
leads, one to nothing.

It'’s bottom of the
ninth, two outs.

Emerson'’s down
to their last chance.

Johnson steps up to the plate...

Go, Emerson!

Knock it out of
the park, Johnson!

Both: No batter, no
batter, no batter... hey!

You know what I
love about baseball?

It'’s all part of the game to
be abusive and obnoxious.

You know what I
like best? The snacks.

Hey, peanuts over here.

[ Salem grunts]

Thanks, Salem.

How can you eat legumes

when there'’s so
much riding on this?

Salem, it'’s just a game.

To you.

To me, it'’s the chance

to become fabulously wealthy...

Or live as a fugitive and
have my face surgically altered.

Announcer: Johnson
hits the ball deep...

Deep, deep to left field!

Yes, yes, yes!

And it'’s caught!
The game'’s over!

Adams wins![ Salem sobs]

[ Phone ringing]

[ Gasps]: That should be sid.

And I should be booking
my plastic surgeon

and the next flight to the
Cayman Islands... toodles.