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1
00:00:02,379 --> 00:00:03,931
Oh, please, please,
please, please.
2
00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:04,931
No.
3
00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:06,448
How many times
do I have to tell you
4
00:00:06,517 --> 00:00:08,379
I will not flamenco
dance at the coffee house.
5
00:00:08,448 --> 00:00:10,655
But I need an act to fill up
my Friday night showcase.
6
00:00:10,724 --> 00:00:13,275
And when you twirl
in your red ruffled skirt
7
00:00:13,344 --> 00:00:14,724
you look so rico suave.
8
00:00:14,793 --> 00:00:16,655
Sorry, senorita,
but I quit flamenco
9
00:00:16,724 --> 00:00:19,724
when queen Isabella caught
me fandangoing with ferdinand.
10
00:00:19,793 --> 00:00:21,724
All right, how about a hula?
11
00:00:21,793 --> 00:00:23,000
A hora?
12
00:00:23,068 --> 00:00:24,448
A Mexican hat dance?
13
00:00:24,517 --> 00:00:26,965
I'’ll slip a flask of
Tequila in your sombrero.
14
00:00:27,034 --> 00:00:29,310
I'’m late for my gamma
ray graduate seminar.
15
00:00:29,379 --> 00:00:30,931
Find another sucker.
16
00:00:32,862 --> 00:00:35,413
Where?
17
00:00:35,482 --> 00:00:37,862
♪ Moon river...
18
00:00:37,931 --> 00:00:38,965
Forget it.
19
00:00:39,034 --> 00:00:41,068
You are not singing
at the coffee house.
20
00:00:41,137 --> 00:00:42,413
Okay.
21
00:00:42,482 --> 00:00:44,275
How about comedy?
How about juggling?
22
00:00:44,344 --> 00:00:45,527
How about putting a sock in it?
23
00:00:45,551 --> 00:00:46,551
That'’s it.
24
00:00:46,586 --> 00:00:47,586
I'’ll be a mime.
25
00:00:47,620 --> 00:00:50,310
Want to see me do
my "trapped in a box"?
26
00:00:50,379 --> 00:00:52,275
I thought you'’d never ask.
27
00:00:53,827 --> 00:00:55,137
[ Gasping]
28
00:00:55,206 --> 00:01:01,862
A couple of air holes, please.
29
00:01:01,931 --> 00:01:05,965
♪ Life'’s changing around me,
and i'’m gonna make it mine ♪
30
00:01:06,034 --> 00:01:12,482
♪ i'’m reaching out and
living by my rules... ♪
31
00:01:12,551 --> 00:01:15,655
♪ Time'’s moving way too fast ♪
32
00:01:15,724 --> 00:01:19,793
♪ I wanna make it last...
33
00:01:21,896 --> 00:01:25,310
♪ '’cause i'’m out
on my own now ♪
34
00:01:25,379 --> 00:01:29,965
♪ and I like the way it feels.
35
00:01:37,931 --> 00:01:39,551
Roxie, what are you doing here?
36
00:01:39,620 --> 00:01:40,827
Metabolizing glucose.
37
00:01:40,896 --> 00:01:43,000
I didn'’t know you
were into journalism.
38
00:01:43,068 --> 00:01:45,344
Well, maybe if we ever
had a real conversation.
39
00:01:45,413 --> 00:01:47,172
Why spoil what works?
40
00:01:47,241 --> 00:01:49,724
I have to get over this
whole functional behavior kick.
41
00:01:49,793 --> 00:01:51,931
So what do you want to
do for the school paper?
42
00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:53,655
The same kind of
hard-hitting reporting
43
00:01:53,724 --> 00:01:55,137
I did for my high
school newspaper.
44
00:01:55,206 --> 00:01:56,448
I did an expose on two seniors
45
00:01:56,517 --> 00:01:58,206
who turned out to be
white supremacists.
46
00:01:58,275 --> 00:02:00,206
Oh, well, I uncovered
a car-jacking ring
47
00:02:00,275 --> 00:02:01,896
that was working football games.
48
00:02:01,965 --> 00:02:04,758
And I busted the cafeteria
for selling expired yogurt.
49
00:02:04,827 --> 00:02:05,862
Expired yogurt?
50
00:02:05,931 --> 00:02:08,034
Yeah, have you
ever tasted a carton
51
00:02:08,103 --> 00:02:09,758
of moldy strawberry peach?
52
00:02:09,827 --> 00:02:12,206
Everybody sit down
so we can get started.
53
00:02:12,275 --> 00:02:14,413
Okay, you'’re all here
because you want to write
54
00:02:14,482 --> 00:02:15,517
for the Adams advocate.
55
00:02:15,586 --> 00:02:17,448
If you want to write
56
00:02:17,517 --> 00:02:18,862
you have to bring me stories
57
00:02:18,931 --> 00:02:20,586
that are provocative
and different.
58
00:02:20,655 --> 00:02:23,137
Most of you will just be
pestering small businesses
59
00:02:23,206 --> 00:02:24,344
to buy ad space.
60
00:02:24,413 --> 00:02:25,655
I didn'’t come to college
61
00:02:25,724 --> 00:02:27,793
to solicit nail salons
and pizza joints.
62
00:02:27,862 --> 00:02:31,068
I didn'’t fight the war on yogurt
to wind up with a desk job.
63
00:02:31,137 --> 00:02:33,931
The two of you are already
planning your first article.
64
00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:35,793
Why Don'’t you
chatterboxes team up?
65
00:02:35,862 --> 00:02:37,758
Actually, I prefer
to write solo.
66
00:02:37,827 --> 00:02:39,551
I prefer she write solo, too.
67
00:02:39,620 --> 00:02:41,482
Everyone will be
writing with a partner.
68
00:02:41,551 --> 00:02:43,000
The two best stories
69
00:02:43,068 --> 00:02:44,275
go in the paper.
70
00:02:44,344 --> 00:02:46,689
The rest will go in the trash.
71
00:02:46,758 --> 00:02:48,275
Well, if it'’s any consolation
72
00:02:48,344 --> 00:02:51,344
I heard that woodward didn'’t
like working with Bernstein.
73
00:02:51,413 --> 00:02:53,068
It'’s not consolation
whatsoever.
74
00:02:54,620 --> 00:02:56,103
[ Bongos playing]
75
00:02:56,172 --> 00:02:59,793
The endless cycle of
naked truth spins yellow.
76
00:02:59,862 --> 00:03:01,517
Madness!
77
00:03:01,586 --> 00:03:03,862
It'’s like crazy, man.
78
00:03:03,931 --> 00:03:06,275
Salem, what are you doing here?
79
00:03:06,344 --> 00:03:07,344
Auditioning.
80
00:03:07,379 --> 00:03:10,103
I can'’t have cats
in the coffee house.
81
00:03:10,172 --> 00:03:11,482
But i'’m a hep cat.
82
00:03:11,551 --> 00:03:13,724
I hang out in the coffee
houses all the time.
83
00:03:13,793 --> 00:03:15,000
You dig?
84
00:03:17,586 --> 00:03:20,517
That'’s deep, daddy-o.
85
00:03:22,448 --> 00:03:23,655
Okay, here'’s our article.
86
00:03:23,724 --> 00:03:25,689
We go to the Adams
college arts festival
87
00:03:25,758 --> 00:03:27,551
and we interview
one of the Potters.
88
00:03:27,620 --> 00:03:29,413
There'’s a news flash... Clay.
89
00:03:29,482 --> 00:03:30,862
Right.
90
00:03:30,931 --> 00:03:32,000
Okay, how about this?
91
00:03:32,068 --> 00:03:34,620
We do a story on the lack
of public transportation.
92
00:03:34,689 --> 00:03:36,482
I mean, there are
never enough buses
93
00:03:36,551 --> 00:03:38,827
to get the students from
campus to downtown.
94
00:03:38,896 --> 00:03:41,620
Listen to me... i'’m
pitching a story about buses.
95
00:03:41,689 --> 00:03:42,965
I'’ve got it.
96
00:03:43,034 --> 00:03:45,137
The pervasive
paranoia and depression
97
00:03:45,206 --> 00:03:46,310
in American society
98
00:03:46,379 --> 00:03:48,413
vis-a-vis the end
of human existence
99
00:03:48,482 --> 00:03:49,689
as we know it.
100
00:03:49,758 --> 00:03:51,758
Too light and bubbly.
101
00:03:51,827 --> 00:03:53,862
Hilda: Mr. Wayne Newton, please.
102
00:03:53,931 --> 00:03:56,827
Hilda of hilda'’s coffee house.
103
00:03:56,896 --> 00:03:58,862
Yes, i'’ll hold.
104
00:03:58,931 --> 00:04:00,896
Danke schoen.
105
00:04:00,965 --> 00:04:02,724
This is going to be so fabulous.
106
00:04:02,793 --> 00:04:04,482
Everybody loves Wayne Newton.
107
00:04:04,551 --> 00:04:07,620
What do you mean he'’s
out of town... forever?
108
00:04:07,689 --> 00:04:10,344
You tell that
pompadoured lounge lizard
109
00:04:10,413 --> 00:04:12,034
that he is no Paul anka.
110
00:04:12,103 --> 00:04:14,517
And that i'’m never
having his baby.
111
00:04:14,586 --> 00:04:16,379
Who am I going to get now?
112
00:04:16,448 --> 00:04:17,724
[ Salem meows]
113
00:04:17,793 --> 00:04:20,344
♪ I'’m the cat in
the tutti-frutti hat ♪
114
00:04:20,413 --> 00:04:22,931
♪ all the pretty
senoritas go for that ♪
115
00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:24,517
♪ ay-yi-yi-yi-yi...
116
00:04:24,586 --> 00:04:27,620
[ With Cuban accent]: Lucy,
how many times I have to tell you...
117
00:04:27,689 --> 00:04:28,862
You can'’t be in the show.
118
00:04:28,931 --> 00:04:30,482
[ Imitating Lucy]: But, Ricky!
119
00:04:30,551 --> 00:04:31,689
Salem, you really think
120
00:04:31,758 --> 00:04:33,896
college girls are
going to go for cats
121
00:04:33,965 --> 00:04:35,310
in south American drag?
122
00:04:35,379 --> 00:04:37,103
I do all right.
123
00:04:37,172 --> 00:04:38,310
Now be honest...
124
00:04:38,379 --> 00:04:40,482
Am I any worse than the
other acts you saw today?
125
00:04:40,551 --> 00:04:42,413
No, and you were
definitely better
126
00:04:42,482 --> 00:04:44,034
than the gangsta gynecologist
127
00:04:44,103 --> 00:04:45,620
but I still can'’t book you.
128
00:04:45,689 --> 00:04:47,275
Don'’t wantto book me.
129
00:04:47,344 --> 00:04:48,896
Don'’t split hairs, okay?
130
00:04:48,965 --> 00:04:51,965
I still have a headache
from notorious g.Y.N.
131
00:04:52,034 --> 00:04:54,655
Aunt Zelda, roxie and I
have to write a hot article
132
00:04:54,724 --> 00:04:55,965
for the Adams advocate.
133
00:04:56,034 --> 00:04:57,310
Any ideas?
134
00:04:57,379 --> 00:04:58,310
As a matter of fact
135
00:04:58,379 --> 00:04:59,896
I just heard something
very exciting.
136
00:04:59,965 --> 00:05:01,275
I knew you'’d be a big help.
137
00:05:01,344 --> 00:05:02,689
New measurements of deuterium
138
00:05:02,758 --> 00:05:04,103
at the center of the milky way
139
00:05:04,172 --> 00:05:06,137
confirm theoretical
models that deuterium
140
00:05:06,206 --> 00:05:08,103
a heavy isotope of hydrogen
141
00:05:08,172 --> 00:05:10,379
containing one
proton and one neutron
142
00:05:10,448 --> 00:05:11,758
is primordial.
143
00:05:11,827 --> 00:05:15,241
That'’s been done to death.
144
00:05:15,310 --> 00:05:16,689
So what did your aunt say?
145
00:05:16,758 --> 00:05:19,517
Let'’s just be glad we'’re
not in her physics class.
146
00:05:19,586 --> 00:05:21,172
Let'’s face it, we
have no story.
147
00:05:21,241 --> 00:05:23,172
We'’re never going
to get on the paper.
148
00:05:23,241 --> 00:05:24,172
Okay, bye.
149
00:05:24,241 --> 00:05:25,172
Out of my way.
150
00:05:25,241 --> 00:05:26,896
I am late for
something important.
151
00:05:26,965 --> 00:05:27,896
Let me guess...
152
00:05:27,965 --> 00:05:29,310
Emergency mustache bleaching?
153
00:05:29,379 --> 00:05:31,379
Don'’t be ridiculous.
154
00:05:31,448 --> 00:05:33,000
Pumpkin facial.
155
00:05:33,068 --> 00:05:34,172
All the rushees
156
00:05:34,241 --> 00:05:36,241
in my sorority are giving
them to the actives.
157
00:05:36,310 --> 00:05:37,793
Then they'’re
polishing our pearls.
158
00:05:37,862 --> 00:05:39,793
Don'’t you hate being
saddled with a brain?
159
00:05:39,862 --> 00:05:40,862
Wait a minute.
160
00:05:40,931 --> 00:05:42,448
That'’s it. That'’s our article.
161
00:05:42,517 --> 00:05:43,517
Smart people?
162
00:05:43,551 --> 00:05:44,758
No, no, no, no. Sororities.
163
00:05:44,827 --> 00:05:45,689
Shallow people.
164
00:05:45,758 --> 00:05:47,000
Right. And yet most girls
165
00:05:47,068 --> 00:05:48,965
would do anything
to join a sorority.
166
00:05:49,034 --> 00:05:51,379
Why would shallow people
want to connect so badly
167
00:05:51,448 --> 00:05:52,758
with other shallow people?
168
00:05:52,827 --> 00:05:55,172
We'’ll ask Morgan the
next time we see her.
169
00:05:55,241 --> 00:05:56,448
You Don'’t get it.
170
00:05:56,517 --> 00:05:59,758
Our story is... "sorority
girls... society'’s lost souls."
171
00:05:59,827 --> 00:06:03,034
Pampered... pearls... Pathetic.
172
00:06:03,103 --> 00:06:04,103
I like it.
173
00:06:04,172 --> 00:06:05,172
Thank you.
174
00:06:05,206 --> 00:06:06,724
Here'’s what I propose.
175
00:06:06,793 --> 00:06:09,034
We get the scoop
by going undercover
176
00:06:09,103 --> 00:06:10,413
as sorority rushees.
177
00:06:10,482 --> 00:06:12,482
Me in a sweater set
and pleated skirt?
178
00:06:12,551 --> 00:06:14,724
I can'’t think of
anything more ridiculous.
179
00:06:16,724 --> 00:06:19,862
Don'’t you dare tell anyone you
ever saw me in a sweater set.
180
00:06:19,931 --> 00:06:22,551
Okay, but it'’s
going to cost you.
181
00:06:22,620 --> 00:06:24,344
Cute outfit.
182
00:06:24,413 --> 00:06:26,310
Great. They think
i'’m one of them.
183
00:06:26,379 --> 00:06:28,965
Good. Now let'’s see if
we can sound like them.
184
00:06:29,034 --> 00:06:30,310
Talk about your summer.
185
00:06:30,379 --> 00:06:32,172
I got lyme disease.
186
00:06:32,241 --> 00:06:33,620
We'’ll have to work on that.
187
00:06:33,689 --> 00:06:37,275
Hi. I'’m mindy shivley,
rush chairman for mu pi.
188
00:06:37,344 --> 00:06:38,655
[ Chiming]
189
00:06:38,724 --> 00:06:40,655
Hi. I'’m roxie. This is Sabrina
190
00:06:40,724 --> 00:06:41,838
we'’re so incredibly excited
191
00:06:41,862 --> 00:06:42,793
to be here and meet you
192
00:06:42,862 --> 00:06:44,413
and meet everybody and say hello
193
00:06:44,482 --> 00:06:46,965
and see the house and rush,
and gosh, it'’s all so exciting.
194
00:06:47,034 --> 00:06:48,137
I Don'’t know what to say.
195
00:06:48,206 --> 00:06:50,000
Uh, maybe you should
take it down a notch.
196
00:06:50,068 --> 00:06:51,931
[ Chimes]
197
00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:53,000
Hey, Sabrina.
198
00:06:53,068 --> 00:06:55,413
I'’m glad you decided to rush.
199
00:06:55,482 --> 00:06:56,862
Oh, what are you doing here?
200
00:06:56,931 --> 00:06:59,965
Believe me, i'’m asking
myself the same question.
201
00:07:00,034 --> 00:07:02,103
What she means
is, she can'’t wait
202
00:07:02,172 --> 00:07:03,862
for the first pajama party.
203
00:07:03,931 --> 00:07:06,172
Could I please have
everyone'’s attention?
204
00:07:06,241 --> 00:07:08,275
I'’d like to welcome
all the rushees.
205
00:07:08,344 --> 00:07:09,448
That'’s us. Look alive.
206
00:07:09,517 --> 00:07:10,517
And a special thanks
207
00:07:10,586 --> 00:07:11,689
to hope and Bethany
208
00:07:11,758 --> 00:07:13,379
for providing these delicious
209
00:07:13,448 --> 00:07:15,724
but oh-so-naughty
cinnamon snaps.
210
00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:17,931
Ooh, suck-ups.
211
00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:19,758
Why didn'’t we think of that?
212
00:07:19,827 --> 00:07:21,655
And now, to get us
into the mu pi spirit
213
00:07:21,724 --> 00:07:23,448
why Don'’t we all
sing the mu pi song?
214
00:07:23,517 --> 00:07:25,241
I'’d rather have a colonoscopy.
215
00:07:25,310 --> 00:07:28,206
I think they save that
for the big spring mixer.
216
00:07:28,275 --> 00:07:32,137
♪ Mu pi peaches from
the desert to the beaches ♪
217
00:07:32,206 --> 00:07:34,758
♪ we always aim to please
218
00:07:34,827 --> 00:07:39,482
♪ and we love our
wine and cheese. ♪
219
00:07:39,551 --> 00:07:44,000
[ Playing jazz riff]
220
00:07:44,068 --> 00:07:46,724
Oh, you'’re fantastic.
221
00:07:46,793 --> 00:07:48,931
I'’m putting you in
Friday night at 9:15.
222
00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:50,379
Maybe 9:20.
223
00:07:50,448 --> 00:07:53,655
It depends when the Israeli
guy finishes reading jabberwocky.
224
00:07:53,724 --> 00:07:56,379
That'’s great, but I
can'’t agree to anything
225
00:07:56,448 --> 00:07:58,206
until you talk to my agent.
226
00:07:58,275 --> 00:07:59,965
Salem saberhagen, c.A.T.?
227
00:08:00,034 --> 00:08:01,551
"Creative acts and talent."
228
00:08:01,620 --> 00:08:03,379
He'’s handling a
lot of performers
229
00:08:03,448 --> 00:08:04,586
from the other realm.
230
00:08:04,655 --> 00:08:06,551
Salem is a convicted felon.
231
00:08:06,620 --> 00:08:08,068
He can'’t be an agent.
232
00:08:08,137 --> 00:08:09,931
Well, I suppose he could.
233
00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:12,137
I really think Salem'’s
going to boost my career.
234
00:08:12,206 --> 00:08:14,689
Maybe you'’ll be the
next morty ponder?
235
00:08:14,758 --> 00:08:15,344
Who?
236
00:08:15,413 --> 00:08:17,620
Exactly.
237
00:08:17,689 --> 00:08:19,172
These cinnamon
snaps are awesome.
238
00:08:19,241 --> 00:08:20,310
Enough with the cookies.
239
00:08:20,379 --> 00:08:21,724
We'’ve got an article to write.
240
00:08:21,793 --> 00:08:23,137
Let'’s go expose some airheads.
241
00:08:23,206 --> 00:08:24,482
Let'’s do sound check.
242
00:08:24,551 --> 00:08:26,310
Testing one, two, three.
243
00:08:26,379 --> 00:08:27,310
Four, five six.
244
00:08:27,379 --> 00:08:28,310
We'’re live.
245
00:08:28,379 --> 00:08:29,827
Victoria'’s got a new secret.
246
00:08:29,896 --> 00:08:30,551
Let'’s split up.
247
00:08:30,620 --> 00:08:31,620
Roger that.
248
00:08:31,689 --> 00:08:33,862
But lets meet at the
cinnamon snaps in an hour.
249
00:08:33,931 --> 00:08:36,310
Will you stop with
the cinnamon snaps?
250
00:08:38,034 --> 00:08:39,620
Hi. I'’m Sabrina.
251
00:08:39,689 --> 00:08:40,965
I'’m Lynn.
252
00:08:41,034 --> 00:08:43,275
Are you as excited as
I am at rushing mu pi?
253
00:08:43,344 --> 00:08:44,482
Ecstatic.
254
00:08:44,551 --> 00:08:46,310
I hear more mu pi'’s graduate
255
00:08:46,379 --> 00:08:49,172
with engagement rings
than any other house.
256
00:08:49,241 --> 00:08:50,758
That'’s why you'’re here?
257
00:08:50,827 --> 00:08:52,000
To meet a husband?
258
00:08:52,068 --> 00:08:53,862
Yeah, aren'’t you?
259
00:08:53,931 --> 00:08:55,482
No. My education comes first.
260
00:08:55,551 --> 00:08:56,965
I want to do well in school
261
00:08:57,034 --> 00:08:58,896
so I can have a
successful career.
262
00:08:58,965 --> 00:09:00,965
Which will make you
even more attractive
263
00:09:01,034 --> 00:09:02,206
to your future husband.
264
00:09:02,275 --> 00:09:04,517
I Don'’t mean to
sound judgmental
265
00:09:04,586 --> 00:09:06,862
but isn'’t that
a little shallow?
266
00:09:08,413 --> 00:09:09,551
So, long story short...
267
00:09:09,620 --> 00:09:11,241
My parents and I argued all year
268
00:09:11,310 --> 00:09:13,413
about which Mercedes
they should buy me.
269
00:09:13,482 --> 00:09:14,689
I'’m sure you can relate.
270
00:09:14,758 --> 00:09:16,344
Actually, i'’m on a scholarship.
271
00:09:16,413 --> 00:09:18,068
I live at home and take the bus
272
00:09:18,137 --> 00:09:19,172
which isn'’t bad
273
00:09:19,241 --> 00:09:21,310
but sometimes
there'’s a bus shortage.
274
00:09:21,379 --> 00:09:22,862
Bus shortage?
275
00:09:22,931 --> 00:09:26,655
A smart person would have
written an article about that.
276
00:09:26,724 --> 00:09:28,517
So what are you
looking forward to most
277
00:09:28,586 --> 00:09:29,586
about being a mu pi?
278
00:09:29,620 --> 00:09:31,827
Like, doing your toenails
with the other girls
279
00:09:31,896 --> 00:09:33,482
or highlighting
each other'’s hair?
280
00:09:33,551 --> 00:09:35,034
Actually, I want to get involved
281
00:09:35,103 --> 00:09:36,793
in their volunteer
america program.
282
00:09:36,862 --> 00:09:39,517
Oh, where you volunteer
to give manicures
283
00:09:39,586 --> 00:09:41,137
to the less fortunate?
284
00:09:41,206 --> 00:09:44,517
Um, no, where they feed the
homeless and read to the blind.
285
00:09:44,586 --> 00:09:47,620
I was afraid of that.
286
00:09:47,689 --> 00:09:48,862
So you'’re into horses?
287
00:09:48,931 --> 00:09:50,034
There'’s a surprise.
288
00:09:50,103 --> 00:09:52,586
I'’ll bet you'’ve got
the boots, the jodhpurs
289
00:09:52,655 --> 00:09:54,275
and that little whippy thing.
290
00:09:54,344 --> 00:09:57,379
No, I intern doing
equestrian riding therapy
291
00:09:57,448 --> 00:09:58,965
for disabled children.
292
00:09:59,034 --> 00:10:02,344
But you wear a
silly bonnet, right?
293
00:10:02,413 --> 00:10:03,586
Come on...
294
00:10:03,655 --> 00:10:04,896
Give me something.
295
00:10:04,965 --> 00:10:06,517
I'’ve got nothing here.
296
00:10:09,965 --> 00:10:11,275
Boy, are we out of luck.
297
00:10:11,344 --> 00:10:12,275
Tell me about it.
298
00:10:12,344 --> 00:10:14,000
This is the last cinnamon snap
299
00:10:14,068 --> 00:10:16,586
and Bethany is not
parting with that recipe.
300
00:10:16,655 --> 00:10:18,206
I'’m talking about the story.
301
00:10:18,275 --> 00:10:19,275
We Don'’t have one.
302
00:10:19,344 --> 00:10:20,586
These girls are great.
303
00:10:20,655 --> 00:10:21,896
What they do is great.
304
00:10:21,965 --> 00:10:23,724
So we'’ll do a different story.
305
00:10:23,793 --> 00:10:25,482
We'’ll write about
how nice and sweet
306
00:10:25,551 --> 00:10:27,068
these sorority girls really are.
307
00:10:27,137 --> 00:10:28,896
I'’d rather solicit
pizza parlors.
308
00:10:28,965 --> 00:10:30,758
You may get your wish.
309
00:10:32,758 --> 00:10:34,068
It was nice meeting you, two.
310
00:10:34,137 --> 00:10:36,068
I guess i'’ll see you
both on Thursday night.
311
00:10:36,137 --> 00:10:37,379
Oh, what'’s Thursday night?
312
00:10:37,448 --> 00:10:39,103
Study night. We
meet here at 8:00.
313
00:10:39,172 --> 00:10:40,103
How precious.
314
00:10:40,172 --> 00:10:41,758
We all get together
and do our homework.
315
00:10:41,827 --> 00:10:44,310
No, we all get together and
do the senior'’s homework.
316
00:10:44,379 --> 00:10:46,103
What? Isn'’t that cheating?
317
00:10:46,172 --> 00:10:48,931
If you Don'’t do it, you
Don'’t get into mu pi.
318
00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:50,620
Bye.
319
00:10:52,206 --> 00:10:57,724
I think we got our story.
320
00:10:57,793 --> 00:10:59,482
A homework cheating
ring? This is big.
321
00:10:59,551 --> 00:11:02,000
Really big... like really,
really, really, really big.
322
00:11:02,068 --> 00:11:05,137
Fyi, when we write the article,
i'’m in charge of adjectives.
323
00:11:05,206 --> 00:11:07,655
This is huge. We'’re
talking front-page stuff here.
324
00:11:07,724 --> 00:11:09,241
I mean, with this article
325
00:11:09,310 --> 00:11:11,206
we could change
the course of history.
326
00:11:11,275 --> 00:11:12,896
Newsman: It'’snews on the march.
327
00:11:12,965 --> 00:11:15,862
World menace taken down!
328
00:11:15,931 --> 00:11:18,620
Sabrina spellman and roxie
king win the pulitzer prize
329
00:11:18,689 --> 00:11:21,206
for blowing the lid off
decades-old cheating ring.
330
00:11:21,275 --> 00:11:22,896
We caught these
dames red-handed.
331
00:11:22,965 --> 00:11:24,931
It'’s bye-bye, mu pi.
332
00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:26,724
Say, fellas, get a
load of these gams.
333
00:11:26,793 --> 00:11:28,862
Roxie: Sabrina, is there
any particular reason
334
00:11:28,931 --> 00:11:31,310
you'’re showing me your thighs?
335
00:11:31,379 --> 00:11:34,310
Oh, uh... yeah, i'’ve been
working out a lot lately.
336
00:11:34,379 --> 00:11:36,620
Let'’s start working out
our plan to bust mu pi.
337
00:11:36,689 --> 00:11:38,103
All we have now is hearsay.
338
00:11:38,172 --> 00:11:40,275
True. We will not be
able to write word one
339
00:11:40,344 --> 00:11:42,689
until we have evidence,
witnesses and quotes.
340
00:11:42,758 --> 00:11:44,172
So our mission on Thursday
341
00:11:44,241 --> 00:11:46,724
is to come back and
gather all the hard facts.
342
00:11:46,793 --> 00:11:48,320
We'’ll call on the
boys from the precinct.
343
00:11:48,344 --> 00:11:49,941
We'’ll throw these
peaches in a paddy wagon
344
00:11:49,965 --> 00:11:52,113
and you and i'’ll put on the
ritz and paint this town red.
345
00:11:52,137 --> 00:11:54,137
I'’ll tell you what...
I'’ll do the writing
346
00:11:54,206 --> 00:11:55,620
you jitterbug for the troops.
347
00:11:57,172 --> 00:12:00,379
Hilda, sweetheart, I
love you, you know that
348
00:12:00,448 --> 00:12:02,965
but I only have so much
wiggle room on this guitarist.
349
00:12:03,034 --> 00:12:04,793
I'’m getting pressured
from all sides.
350
00:12:04,862 --> 00:12:06,586
What sides?!
351
00:12:06,655 --> 00:12:08,310
It'’s you and a couple
of business cards
352
00:12:08,379 --> 00:12:09,689
you printed up at kinko'’s.
353
00:12:09,758 --> 00:12:11,655
Why do you even want
to be an agent anyway?
354
00:12:11,724 --> 00:12:13,137
You wouldn'’t let me perform
355
00:12:13,206 --> 00:12:15,517
so now I have to sponge
off the talent of others.
356
00:12:15,586 --> 00:12:18,206
My client gets ten grand
a night, take it or leave it.
357
00:12:18,275 --> 00:12:19,758
It'’s a showcase.
358
00:12:19,827 --> 00:12:22,965
Performers work for tips! Okay!
359
00:12:23,034 --> 00:12:25,206
300 bucks and pound of lox.
360
00:12:25,275 --> 00:12:28,482
Two bucks and a can of
starkist, and that is my final offer.
361
00:12:28,551 --> 00:12:31,241
Shh! I'’m on the
phone with the coast.
362
00:12:31,310 --> 00:12:34,241
Jeffrey! Steven? David?!
363
00:12:34,310 --> 00:12:37,827
I can'’t believe I got all three
of you boychicks on the line!
364
00:12:37,896 --> 00:12:40,137
There'’s no one on the line.
365
00:12:40,206 --> 00:12:42,275
At the end of the day,
who'’s going to remember?
366
00:12:42,344 --> 00:12:44,551
I will. I have had it with you!
367
00:12:44,620 --> 00:12:45,793
I'’ve had it with you!
368
00:12:45,862 --> 00:12:47,275
I'’ve had it with both of you.
369
00:12:47,344 --> 00:12:48,275
This has gone on
370
00:12:48,344 --> 00:12:49,482
long enough.
371
00:12:49,551 --> 00:12:51,172
Okay, here'’s the deal.
372
00:12:51,241 --> 00:12:53,275
Your guitarist gets
ten bucks a show.
373
00:12:53,344 --> 00:12:54,965
Salem gets a fish stick.
374
00:12:55,034 --> 00:12:57,724
If it'’s a packed house,
a side of tartar sauce.
375
00:12:57,793 --> 00:12:58,931
Fine.
376
00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:01,517
All right. Let'’s
close this thing.
377
00:13:01,586 --> 00:13:04,758
I'’ve got a lunch with
the budweiser ferret.
378
00:13:08,206 --> 00:13:10,620
Did you put in fresh batteries?
379
00:13:10,689 --> 00:13:12,620
Yeah, i'’m packing
two ds, and believe me
380
00:13:12,689 --> 00:13:14,758
that is the first time
i'’ve ever said that.
381
00:13:14,827 --> 00:13:16,068
Hey, Sabrina. Hey, roxie.
382
00:13:16,137 --> 00:13:17,379
Welcome to study night.
383
00:13:17,448 --> 00:13:18,488
Here are your assignments.
384
00:13:18,517 --> 00:13:20,597
Sabrina, you'’re going to
be doing Karen'’s homework.
385
00:13:20,655 --> 00:13:22,137
Roxie, you'’re going
to be doing mine.
386
00:13:22,206 --> 00:13:24,103
But I Don'’t know anything
about the punic wars.
387
00:13:24,172 --> 00:13:25,275
Neither do I.
388
00:13:25,344 --> 00:13:27,068
That'’s why we keep
a comprehensive file
389
00:13:27,137 --> 00:13:28,965
of all the papers
ever written at Adams.
390
00:13:29,034 --> 00:13:31,482
Um, so what you'’re
saying, mindy t. Sheibley
391
00:13:31,551 --> 00:13:34,206
is that in order for us to
become mu pi members
392
00:13:34,275 --> 00:13:36,724
[ clicking]We have to do your...
393
00:13:36,793 --> 00:13:38,896
What'’s that? What?
394
00:13:38,965 --> 00:13:41,379
That clicking... it sounds
like it'’s coming from your top.
395
00:13:41,448 --> 00:13:45,379
Uh, it is... coming
from my top... jaw.
396
00:13:45,448 --> 00:13:46,862
I have click-jaw.
397
00:13:46,931 --> 00:13:50,310
In high school, they used to
call me "click-jaw McGraw."
398
00:13:50,379 --> 00:13:53,896
Now, back to us
doing... Your homework.
399
00:13:53,965 --> 00:13:56,517
Yeah, mindy t. Sheibley. Oh!
400
00:13:56,586 --> 00:13:58,379
What is this?
401
00:13:58,448 --> 00:13:59,896
Oh! Oh, my gosh!
402
00:13:59,965 --> 00:14:01,620
My pacemaker fell out.
403
00:14:01,689 --> 00:14:03,689
I am so suing
that heart surgeon.
404
00:14:03,758 --> 00:14:04,896
It'’s a tape recorder.
405
00:14:04,965 --> 00:14:06,689
What are you doing
with a tape recorder?
406
00:14:06,758 --> 00:14:08,034
That'’s a very good question.
407
00:14:08,103 --> 00:14:09,517
And she has a very good answer.
408
00:14:09,586 --> 00:14:11,172
Yeah, I do. I use it...
409
00:14:11,241 --> 00:14:13,655
Uh, you know, in my
classes to tape my lectures.
410
00:14:13,724 --> 00:14:16,896
It'’s so small and comfortable,
I almost forget i'’m wearing it.
411
00:14:16,965 --> 00:14:18,137
Hey, felice, look at this.
412
00:14:18,206 --> 00:14:19,862
I-I know it looks
strange, but...
413
00:14:19,931 --> 00:14:22,379
Oh, that is so adorable.
414
00:14:22,448 --> 00:14:23,758
Strangely adorable.
415
00:14:23,827 --> 00:14:24,965
I love it.
416
00:14:25,034 --> 00:14:26,275
And it goes with your shoes.
417
00:14:26,344 --> 00:14:28,034
And you never want
to break up a set.
418
00:14:28,103 --> 00:14:29,965
Now, can you please
give it back to her?
419
00:14:30,034 --> 00:14:31,827
Sure, right after I
show it to Bethany.
420
00:14:31,896 --> 00:14:33,206
Check it out!
421
00:14:33,275 --> 00:14:34,931
Excuse me. I need that back.
422
00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:36,862
You know, it'’s not a toy.
423
00:14:36,931 --> 00:14:39,206
Okay, family heirloom.
424
00:14:39,275 --> 00:14:40,586
It'’s very fragile.
425
00:14:40,655 --> 00:14:42,034
Oh, I have to have one of these.
426
00:14:42,103 --> 00:14:43,241
Where'’s the "play" button?
427
00:14:43,310 --> 00:14:44,586
I want to hear how it sounds.
428
00:14:44,655 --> 00:14:45,758
Oh, no, you Don'’t.
429
00:14:45,827 --> 00:14:47,655
Why not? Because...
430
00:14:47,724 --> 00:14:48,896
Tell them, roxie.
431
00:14:48,965 --> 00:14:50,517
Because if you hear
what it sounds like
432
00:14:50,586 --> 00:14:52,689
you won'’t be surprised
later when you get your own.
433
00:14:52,758 --> 00:14:54,379
Excuse us.
434
00:14:54,448 --> 00:14:55,620
That was close.
435
00:14:55,689 --> 00:14:57,137
Are you securely fastened now?
436
00:14:57,206 --> 00:14:58,482
Yeah. Ready for takeoff.
437
00:14:59,620 --> 00:15:01,206
Hey, Lynn. Hi, Nancy.
438
00:15:01,275 --> 00:15:03,103
Sabrina. how'’s it going?
439
00:15:03,172 --> 00:15:05,551
Oh, not so great... Can
you believe these girls
440
00:15:05,620 --> 00:15:07,931
expect us to do their
homework? It'’s a drag.
441
00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:09,448
But if we want in,
we have no choice.
442
00:15:09,517 --> 00:15:11,655
Well, we could join
a different sorority
443
00:15:11,724 --> 00:15:13,931
or not join one at
all. I have to join.
444
00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:16,724
It'’s the one chance i'’ll
ever have in life to fit in.
445
00:15:16,793 --> 00:15:18,068
Four generations of women
446
00:15:18,137 --> 00:15:19,793
in my family have been mu pi'’s.
447
00:15:19,862 --> 00:15:22,000
If I Don'’t join, i'’ll
be the black sheep.
448
00:15:22,068 --> 00:15:24,482
So is it fair to say
that the mu pi sorority
449
00:15:24,551 --> 00:15:27,310
is taking advantage of
your family pressure, Lynn
450
00:15:27,379 --> 00:15:29,793
and your total lack of
self-esteem, Nancy?
451
00:15:29,862 --> 00:15:32,068
Well, you Don'’t
have to put it like that.
452
00:15:32,137 --> 00:15:34,586
Well, I just feel like doing
the mu pi sisters'’ homework
453
00:15:34,655 --> 00:15:36,517
is not only wrong but
completely unethical.
454
00:15:37,517 --> 00:15:38,896
I guess, but on the upside
455
00:15:38,965 --> 00:15:40,862
the house does do
a lot of positive work
456
00:15:40,931 --> 00:15:41,931
in the community.
457
00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:43,172
Plus, we get to make
458
00:15:43,241 --> 00:15:45,310
a lot of really good
friends, like you and roxie.
459
00:15:45,379 --> 00:15:47,517
Me and roxie? Yeah.
460
00:15:47,586 --> 00:15:50,689
We would never have met you
guys if we hadn'’t decided to rush.
461
00:15:50,758 --> 00:15:52,758
You'’re really nice.
462
00:15:52,827 --> 00:15:54,655
I mean, you'’re super-nice.
463
00:15:54,724 --> 00:15:57,965
Thanks. I think the "super"
part might be pushing it, but...
464
00:15:58,034 --> 00:15:59,344
Well, you know
465
00:15:59,413 --> 00:16:01,241
we better get started
on this homework.
466
00:16:01,310 --> 00:16:03,241
With any luck, i'’ll
have time to do my own.
467
00:16:05,103 --> 00:16:06,793
Well, i'’ve got all I need.
468
00:16:06,862 --> 00:16:08,344
Mu pi is going to fry.
469
00:16:13,241 --> 00:16:15,793
This is definitely
going to put us on staff.
470
00:16:15,862 --> 00:16:18,137
We'’ll be editors by
the end of the year.
471
00:16:19,931 --> 00:16:22,517
I Don'’t want to
write this story.
472
00:16:22,586 --> 00:16:24,620
What are you talking about?
473
00:16:24,689 --> 00:16:26,310
Well, a lot of
people could get hurt
474
00:16:26,379 --> 00:16:27,655
or kicked out of college.
475
00:16:27,724 --> 00:16:30,137
I didn'’t hot-wire my boss
so you could back out.
476
00:16:30,206 --> 00:16:32,034
This is journalism...
You write the truth
477
00:16:32,103 --> 00:16:33,896
and let the chips
fall where they may.
478
00:16:33,965 --> 00:16:35,793
But what if the chips
destroy somebody?
479
00:16:35,862 --> 00:16:37,482
I think i'’m beginning
to understand
480
00:16:37,551 --> 00:16:38,724
who Sabrina spellman is.
481
00:16:38,793 --> 00:16:40,862
You can'’t handle the truth!
482
00:16:40,931 --> 00:16:42,689
I canhandle the truth!
483
00:16:42,758 --> 00:16:45,620
I just can'’t handle the guilt.
484
00:16:45,689 --> 00:16:47,148
We have to consider
the ramifications.
485
00:16:47,172 --> 00:16:48,827
These girls could get
thrown out of school
486
00:16:48,896 --> 00:16:50,696
and their parents may
never talk to them again
487
00:16:50,758 --> 00:16:52,518
and then what'’s going
to happen to the kids?
488
00:16:52,551 --> 00:16:54,793
I mean, you saw girl,
interrupted... murder, mayhem
489
00:16:54,862 --> 00:16:56,275
major box office disappointment.
490
00:16:56,344 --> 00:16:58,586
I'’m sure there'’s a valid
point in there somewhere.
491
00:16:58,655 --> 00:17:01,034
On the other hand, if we want
to be responsible journalists
492
00:17:01,103 --> 00:17:02,383
we have to make the tough calls.
493
00:17:02,448 --> 00:17:04,482
Whatever call we
make, we better do it fast.
494
00:17:04,551 --> 00:17:05,724
We'’ve got a deadline.
495
00:17:05,793 --> 00:17:07,113
But if we Don'’t
write the article
496
00:17:07,137 --> 00:17:08,758
we could wake up
one day with no careers
497
00:17:08,827 --> 00:17:10,620
living in lousy apartments
and kick ourselves
498
00:17:10,689 --> 00:17:12,655
for not taking advantage
of a great opportunity.
499
00:17:12,724 --> 00:17:14,482
Ultimately, we have
to ask ourselves
500
00:17:14,551 --> 00:17:16,862
what do we want to be,
compassionate but broke
501
00:17:16,931 --> 00:17:20,379
or gutsy, living in penthouses
overlooking central park?
502
00:17:20,448 --> 00:17:24,758
Are we writing the
article or not? Yes or no?
503
00:17:24,827 --> 00:17:27,379
Ask me in an hour.
504
00:17:30,931 --> 00:17:33,206
Sabrina: "Any way you slice it
505
00:17:33,275 --> 00:17:34,517
"the mu pi cheating scandal
506
00:17:34,586 --> 00:17:36,172
"taints not only
the sorority itself
507
00:17:36,241 --> 00:17:37,586
"but the entire Greek system.
508
00:17:37,655 --> 00:17:38,931
"It is incumbent upon us
509
00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:40,965
"to abolish these
outdated hazing practices
510
00:17:41,034 --> 00:17:43,862
and return the true spirit of
sisterhood to our sororities."
511
00:17:43,931 --> 00:17:45,655
Brilliant. That'’s what
we'’re handing in.
512
00:17:45,724 --> 00:17:47,241
I think we made
the right decision.
513
00:17:47,310 --> 00:17:49,655
And if you change your
mind, i'’ve got it on tape.
514
00:17:50,724 --> 00:17:52,655
Hi.
515
00:17:55,379 --> 00:17:57,724
You came home just
to eat my breakfast?
516
00:17:57,793 --> 00:18:01,448
That and i'’m looking for someone
to write my paper on Hemingway.
517
00:18:01,517 --> 00:18:04,413
What is there to say about
a model-turned-actress?
518
00:18:04,482 --> 00:18:07,724
I'’m pretty sure
they meant Ernest.
519
00:18:07,793 --> 00:18:10,206
What happened? I thought
your little mu pi lackeys
520
00:18:10,275 --> 00:18:11,965
were handling your
academic needs.
521
00:18:12,034 --> 00:18:14,793
Oh, didn'’t you hear? Some
goody two-shoes named Lynn
522
00:18:14,862 --> 00:18:16,551
rallied all the other rushees
523
00:18:16,620 --> 00:18:18,896
to take a stand against
the homework thing.
524
00:18:18,965 --> 00:18:20,517
They'’re not doing it.
525
00:18:20,586 --> 00:18:22,034
You'’re kidding!
526
00:18:22,103 --> 00:18:25,413
The Boston
times... Does not kid.
527
00:18:25,482 --> 00:18:27,586
Somebody obviously talked.
528
00:18:27,655 --> 00:18:30,034
I'’m glad you two
weren'’t involved.
529
00:18:31,379 --> 00:18:33,241
Oh, by the way, next time
530
00:18:33,310 --> 00:18:37,068
Don'’t get powdered...
It sticks to my lip gloss.
531
00:18:37,137 --> 00:18:39,965
"Cheating scandal
exposed at Adams sorority.
532
00:18:40,034 --> 00:18:43,379
Rushees launch protest
and stand up for themselves."
533
00:18:43,448 --> 00:18:44,689
Let me see that.
534
00:18:44,758 --> 00:18:46,448
Do you know why
the women of mu pi
535
00:18:46,517 --> 00:18:47,862
stood up for themselves?
536
00:18:47,931 --> 00:18:50,689
Because of me, Sabrina
spellman. I made an impact.
537
00:18:50,758 --> 00:18:53,896
I reached out to those girls,
and I touched their lives.
538
00:18:53,965 --> 00:18:55,344
You touched my life, too.
539
00:18:55,413 --> 00:18:56,448
I did? How?
540
00:18:56,517 --> 00:18:57,931
Thanks to you,
i'’ve got no story.
541
00:18:58,000 --> 00:19:00,448
The Boston timesscooped
us, and now we'’ve got nothing.
542
00:19:00,517 --> 00:19:01,655
Wow, you'’re right.
543
00:19:01,724 --> 00:19:03,310
Um, what should we do?
544
00:19:03,379 --> 00:19:04,699
You should have
thought about that
545
00:19:04,724 --> 00:19:06,564
before you took all night
to make up your mind.
546
00:19:06,620 --> 00:19:08,620
If we had come right
home and written the story
547
00:19:08,689 --> 00:19:09,889
we would'’ve made the deadline
548
00:19:09,931 --> 00:19:11,034
and scooped the times.
549
00:19:11,103 --> 00:19:12,931
Is that all that you
care about, the glory?
550
00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:14,655
I Don'’t want glory;
I just want credit
551
00:19:14,724 --> 00:19:16,137
for the work that I put in.
552
00:19:16,206 --> 00:19:18,344
You have the credit...
The credit is knowing
553
00:19:18,413 --> 00:19:20,172
in your heart you
made a difference.
554
00:19:20,241 --> 00:19:21,517
Let me ask you something.
555
00:19:21,586 --> 00:19:24,206
When you wrote those
hard-hitting stories in high school
556
00:19:24,275 --> 00:19:25,689
what was the point?
557
00:19:25,758 --> 00:19:27,379
To nail the white supremacists
558
00:19:27,448 --> 00:19:30,275
or to get your name
on the front page?
559
00:19:30,344 --> 00:19:34,379
Okay. Maybe it'’s good
that they did the right thing
560
00:19:34,448 --> 00:19:36,586
and that we'’re the
ones that inspired them.
561
00:19:36,655 --> 00:19:40,103
I think in the long run, we'’re going
to be very proud of what we did.
562
00:19:40,172 --> 00:19:41,655
I hate it when you'’re right.
563
00:19:41,724 --> 00:19:43,206
I love it when i'’m right.
564
00:19:43,275 --> 00:19:45,103
And one good thing
did come out of this.
565
00:19:45,172 --> 00:19:47,453
If you mention cinnamon
snaps again, i'’ll wring your neck.
566
00:19:47,482 --> 00:19:49,137
What I was going to say was
567
00:19:49,206 --> 00:19:52,275
that we discovered the two
of us make a pretty good team.
568
00:19:52,344 --> 00:19:55,206
Yeah, I guess we do.
569
00:19:55,275 --> 00:19:57,689
Unfortunately, we
still have no story.
570
00:19:57,758 --> 00:20:00,034
Well, i'’ll tell you
what we do have:
571
00:20:00,103 --> 00:20:02,310
Two plaid skirts we'’ll
never wear again;
572
00:20:02,379 --> 00:20:03,827
two stretched-out bras;
573
00:20:03,896 --> 00:20:05,862
and, uh, the recipe
for those things
574
00:20:05,931 --> 00:20:07,724
i'’m not supposed to mention.
575
00:20:13,724 --> 00:20:15,241
Hey. Great news.
576
00:20:15,310 --> 00:20:17,931
You'’re looking at Sabrina
spellman, college reporter.
577
00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:19,379
Roxie and I made the paper!
578
00:20:19,448 --> 00:20:20,655
That'’s fantastic, honey.
579
00:20:20,724 --> 00:20:22,344
What'’d you end
up writing about?
580
00:20:22,413 --> 00:20:23,758
We did an entertainment review.
581
00:20:23,827 --> 00:20:26,551
The journalism teacher said
she loved it'’s hard-hitting honesty.
582
00:20:26,620 --> 00:20:27,793
Well, that'’s wonderful.
583
00:20:27,862 --> 00:20:29,000
What'’s wonderful?
584
00:20:29,068 --> 00:20:30,896
Uh, nothing you'’d
be interested in.
585
00:20:30,965 --> 00:20:32,275
Well, let me see.
586
00:20:32,344 --> 00:20:33,758
[ Gasps]
587
00:20:33,827 --> 00:20:36,965
I see the name
Sabrina in a byline.
588
00:20:37,034 --> 00:20:40,275
"Coffeehouse showcase...
Grounds for staying home.
589
00:20:40,344 --> 00:20:41,379
"Every Friday night
590
00:20:41,448 --> 00:20:43,551
"hilda serves up hot coffee
591
00:20:43,620 --> 00:20:45,689
"and lukewarm entertainment.
592
00:20:46,655 --> 00:20:48,379
"The debut was a travesty
593
00:20:48,448 --> 00:20:50,827
"from the '’jabberwocky'’-reading
paratrooper
594
00:20:50,896 --> 00:20:53,310
to the tone-deaf
singing ferret."
595
00:20:53,379 --> 00:20:54,689
Thank you.
596
00:20:54,758 --> 00:20:56,413
The kid was just nervous.
597
00:20:56,482 --> 00:20:58,586
It was his first time on stage.
598
00:20:58,655 --> 00:21:00,896
I can'’t believe you
trashed my showcase.
599
00:21:00,965 --> 00:21:02,551
How could you do this to me?
600
00:21:02,620 --> 00:21:04,206
You'’ve ruined my reputation.
601
00:21:04,275 --> 00:21:05,275
Keep reading.
602
00:21:05,310 --> 00:21:07,413
"Although the talent was subpar
603
00:21:07,482 --> 00:21:09,620
"the lovely hostess
hilda spellman
604
00:21:09,689 --> 00:21:11,620
"was a cup of pure delight...
605
00:21:11,689 --> 00:21:14,517
Warm, inviting and
charming to the last drop."
606
00:21:14,586 --> 00:21:17,275
Sabrina, this is great.
Did you read this?
607
00:21:17,344 --> 00:21:18,689
Yeah, I wrote it.
608
00:21:18,758 --> 00:21:22,275
Charming to the last drop
but one bean short of a pound.
44677
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