Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,500 --> 00:00:04,000
Britain, Britain, Britain!
2
00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:09,000
Land of diversity! There are hardback books
and paperback books,
3
00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:14,300
socks come in different lengths
and eggs is cooked in a variety of ways.
4
00:00:14,300 --> 00:00:17,100
But how diverse are the people of Britain?
5
00:00:17,100 --> 00:00:22,700
We aim to find out by following
the lives of ordinary British persons!
6
00:00:22,700 --> 00:00:26,200
0h, ma sweet lil...! Hallelujah!
7
00:00:30,800 --> 00:00:34,300
In her bedsit on this estate in Darkley Noone,
8
00:00:34,300 --> 00:00:37,300
young mother Vicky Pollard
meets her social worker.
9
00:00:37,600 --> 00:00:40,100
So how are you coping with everything, Vicky?
10
00:00:40,100 --> 00:00:45,000
No, we was all in the park laughing 'cause
Nicola was gonna set fire to Candice's hair
11
00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:50,000
but Ryan Morris butted in, who I hate,
and he phlegmed in my mouth. ''Oh, my God!
12
00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:54,300
''I so can't believe we just done that!''
And you know Amanda Kaye, right?
13
00:00:54,300 --> 00:00:59,400
- She said she'd do it for a Creme Egg!
- So you're fine. Good. How's the baby?
14
00:00:59,400 --> 00:01:01,500
- Fine.
- Can I see her?
15
00:01:01,500 --> 00:01:04,500
- It's not her. It's it.
- Well, can I see it?
16
00:01:04,700 --> 00:01:09,500
No but, yeah but, no but, yeah but, no,
because we was all going down the offy
17
00:01:09,500 --> 00:01:14,500
but they wouldn't serve us 'cause Emma only
looks about nine, so we was going to Wimpy,
18
00:01:14,500 --> 00:01:19,000
but Liberty went up the arcade
with Sophie Bannerman instead
19
00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:23,500
and Vanessa told Tony that I fancy David Wu,
but everyone knows he's got scabby legs.
20
00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:27,300
- And the baby?
- I'm getting there! There was this whole thing.
21
00:01:27,300 --> 00:01:32,500
Carmella's mum was going away so she said
she'd have a party, but then her mum found out,
22
00:01:32,500 --> 00:01:37,400
then she had it, but I wasn't invited,
so me and Jools went round Michaela's house
23
00:01:37,400 --> 00:01:39,900
and Kelly said Penny Webb's got hairy tits.
24
00:01:39,900 --> 00:01:43,600
Vicky, where is the baby?
25
00:01:43,600 --> 00:01:46,100
Swapped it for a Westlife CD.
26
00:01:47,300 --> 00:01:51,500
- How could you do such a thing?
- I know. They're rubbish.
27
00:01:54,100 --> 00:01:56,300
Don't go giving me evils!
28
00:01:58,300 --> 00:02:03,700
Toys in Britain are sold in toy shops.
This isn't a toy shop. It's a real shop.
29
00:02:16,600 --> 00:02:19,300
Hello! Looking for anything in particular?
30
00:02:19,300 --> 00:02:25,200
Yes, do you have any pirate memory games
suitable for children between 4 and 8?
31
00:02:25,200 --> 00:02:27,600
Eh, I'll just have a look.
32
00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:32,000
I can't see any here. One moment.
33
00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:35,900
Margaret? Margaret?
34
00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:47,900
- Yes?
- A gentleman here wants pirate memory games.
35
00:02:47,900 --> 00:02:50,200
- Ages 4...
- Ages 4 to 8.
36
00:02:50,200 --> 00:02:53,200
We should have some, up by the farm toys.
37
00:02:56,100 --> 00:02:58,600
Oh, yes. Here we are.
38
00:02:58,600 --> 00:03:02,500
Pieces of Eight. A pirate memory game.
Ages 4 to 8.
39
00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:06,600
- Can I have a look?
- There you go.
40
00:03:06,600 --> 00:03:10,100
''Match the pirates and find the treasure.''
41
00:03:10,100 --> 00:03:12,100
That all right for you?
42
00:03:16,800 --> 00:03:19,400
Have you got any other pirate memory games?
43
00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:22,400
- Em...
- It's not quite what I had in mind.
44
00:03:26,500 --> 00:03:29,100
I can't see any here. One moment.
45
00:03:29,100 --> 00:03:32,900
- Margaret? Margaret?
- What?
46
00:03:32,900 --> 00:03:36,300
- Have we got any other pirate memory games?
- What?
47
00:03:36,300 --> 00:03:39,300
- Have we got any other pirate memory games?
- No!
48
00:03:39,500 --> 00:03:45,200
- That's the only one. What's wrong with that?
- That's the only one. What's wrong with that?
49
00:03:45,200 --> 00:03:50,000
- I wanted something a little less pirate-y.
- He wanted something a little less pirate-y!
50
00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:53,800
- Has he tried Simmons?
- Have you tried Simmons?
51
00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:57,200
- Yes, I've just been there.
- I don't know what to suggest.
52
00:03:57,200 --> 00:04:00,700
Is there a shop that specialises
in pirate memory games?
53
00:04:00,700 --> 00:04:04,500
Er, I'm not sure. Margaret'll know. One moment.
54
00:04:04,500 --> 00:04:11,100
Margaret? Margaret? Is there a shop
that specialises in pirate memory games?
55
00:04:11,100 --> 00:04:15,200
- Near here.
- I don't think there are any in the local area.
56
00:04:15,200 --> 00:04:18,900
She doesn't think there are any in the local area.
57
00:04:19,900 --> 00:04:22,900
OK, I'll...I'll just wait.
58
00:04:32,700 --> 00:04:36,500
Meanwhile, the fatties arrive
for their weekly meeting.
59
00:04:37,500 --> 00:04:40,900
Paul, can I just have a quick word, please?
60
00:04:40,900 --> 00:04:45,700
- Paul, what happened last night was a one-off.
- Yeah, I was gonna say something.
61
00:04:45,700 --> 00:04:49,300
- I don't know what came over me.
- I had too much to drink.
62
00:04:49,300 --> 00:04:52,300
I had more. Whatever.
It's not gonna happen again. OK?
63
00:04:52,600 --> 00:04:57,600
So let's just try and forget about it
and not let it come into the meeting. All right?
64
00:05:01,300 --> 00:05:05,400
OK. Welcome to ''FatFighters''.
65
00:05:05,400 --> 00:05:09,900
Now, today we're gonna be
talking about motivation.
66
00:05:09,900 --> 00:05:12,900
You all need a little bit more motivation,
67
00:05:12,900 --> 00:05:17,100
so what we're gonna do
is start with a little exercise.
68
00:05:17,100 --> 00:05:22,200
I want everybody to close their eyes.
Close your eyes, yeah. Empty your thoughts.
69
00:05:22,200 --> 00:05:26,200
That's it, yeah. And picture yourself naked.
70
00:05:26,200 --> 00:05:29,100
Not nice, is it? Eh?
71
00:05:29,100 --> 00:05:34,900
Who the hell would want a great lump like that
huffing and puffing on top of them all night?
72
00:05:34,900 --> 00:05:37,500
Eyes closed, Paul.
73
00:05:40,500 --> 00:05:44,800
In Herby, Lou Todd has kindly offered
to paint his friend Andy's bedroom.
74
00:05:44,800 --> 00:05:49,200
- Now, are you sure you want red?
- Yeah.
75
00:05:49,200 --> 00:05:53,500
- I've got a very nice blue here. You like blue.
- Yeah, I know.
76
00:05:53,500 --> 00:05:56,500
- But you'd rather have red?
- Red, yeah.
77
00:05:56,900 --> 00:06:01,100
You did ask for red last time
and then said you didn't like it.
78
00:06:01,100 --> 00:06:05,800
You said it was oppressive.
You said red was the colour of blood and death.
79
00:06:05,800 --> 00:06:08,600
- Yeah, I know.
- So what's it to be?
80
00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:12,100
- Red.
- I'm not painting it once
81
00:06:12,100 --> 00:06:17,000
and then having to do it again 'cause you say
you don't like it. That's a right kerfuffle.
82
00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:21,400
- I know.
- So final choice, red?
83
00:06:21,400 --> 00:06:24,200
Red! Yeah.
84
00:06:31,400 --> 00:06:35,600
- Do you want to do the last little bit?
- Yeah.
85
00:06:36,400 --> 00:06:38,400
OK.
86
00:06:38,400 --> 00:06:40,800
There we go.
87
00:06:45,900 --> 00:06:48,300
There, finished.
88
00:06:52,800 --> 00:06:55,200
I don't like red.
89
00:07:06,500 --> 00:07:11,400
For 20 years now, Len Boothe
has been taking visitors on his tour
90
00:07:11,400 --> 00:07:14,000
of the charming village of Pove.
91
00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:19,400
OK, ladies and gents.
First up, on your right, is St Robin's church.
92
00:07:19,400 --> 00:07:22,400
Er, the church was built in 1508,
93
00:07:22,700 --> 00:07:28,700
although there was actually a fire here in 1812
and the original wooden roof was destroyed.
94
00:07:28,700 --> 00:07:32,500
It's a funny thing.
I will always have fond memories of that church
95
00:07:32,500 --> 00:07:37,400
because it was on that bench there
that me and my wife Eileen first kissed.
96
00:07:37,400 --> 00:07:40,300
And we've been married 32 year this year.
97
00:07:40,300 --> 00:07:43,300
Thank you very much.
98
00:07:43,600 --> 00:07:50,100
Now, next up is the Hanging Judge,
which is actually the oldest pub in Pove.
99
00:07:50,100 --> 00:07:53,700
Dates back to, we think, 1604.
100
00:07:53,700 --> 00:07:57,700
Why it's called the Hanging Judge,
no one seems to know.
101
00:07:57,700 --> 00:08:02,600
Incidentally, just in the beer garden by
the swings is where Eileen first permitted me
102
00:08:02,600 --> 00:08:06,700
to have a little go on her breasts. OK...
103
00:08:07,500 --> 00:08:11,500
We're coming up now to the Old Bridge,
104
00:08:11,500 --> 00:08:14,500
which actually goes back to Roman times.
105
00:08:14,800 --> 00:08:20,100
It was actually under this bridge that my wife
first performed an act of oral love upon me.
106
00:08:21,300 --> 00:08:26,700
Happy days, yeah.
Sorry, it's a no-smoking vehicle, love.
107
00:08:26,700 --> 00:08:29,000
OK.
108
00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:34,500
Now we are coming up to
one of the oldest blacksmiths in the country.
109
00:08:34,500 --> 00:08:40,900
Legend has it that Charles I stopped off there
to get his horse's shoes changed.
110
00:08:40,900 --> 00:08:45,700
And it was just down that path there
that I first took Eileen up the wrong 'un.
111
00:08:46,700 --> 00:08:48,500
Moving on...
112
00:08:50,300 --> 00:08:53,100
Meanwhile, at this pub in Llandewi Breffi,
113
00:08:53,100 --> 00:08:58,100
the glasses are being collected early
because it's a special night.
114
00:09:01,700 --> 00:09:04,300
Oh, Myfanwy, these crisps are cheese and onion.
115
00:09:05,900 --> 00:09:09,600
Oh. Do gay people not like cheese and onion?
116
00:09:09,600 --> 00:09:12,100
Well, I don't and I am a gay.
117
00:09:12,100 --> 00:09:15,900
- I'll open the barbecue beef.
- If you wouldn't mind.
118
00:09:15,900 --> 00:09:18,600
I think you're gonna get a big crowd in tonight.
119
00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:24,700
I'd be very surprised, Myfanwy. Everybody
knows I am the only gay in this village.
120
00:09:24,700 --> 00:09:29,400
- So you keep saying.
- It's five to eight. I might as well go home.
121
00:09:29,400 --> 00:09:33,600
But it's still early.
It says eight o'clock on the posters.
122
00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:37,600
I don't know why I bother putting on
this gay night. It was doomed.
123
00:09:37,600 --> 00:09:41,900
I imagine I'll always be the only gay
in the village. Good night to you.
124
00:09:43,100 --> 00:09:46,600
(ALL) Ooooh! Ooooh!
125
00:09:46,600 --> 00:09:50,000
Get back! Get back, you gay bastards!
126
00:09:53,800 --> 00:09:56,800
There's hundreds of 'em! What am I gonna do?
127
00:09:56,900 --> 00:09:59,900
- Well, let them in!
- No! Get rid of 'em!
128
00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:04,500
I'll do no such thing!
You made your gay bed, now lie in it!
129
00:10:04,500 --> 00:10:07,300
- Myfanwy!
- Daffyd...
130
00:10:09,100 --> 00:10:11,100
(ALL) Ooooh!
131
00:10:12,900 --> 00:10:15,800
Quiet! Liza Minnelli!
132
00:10:16,800 --> 00:10:22,800
Thank you. Now, I'm very sorry, gays,
but I'm afraid Gay Night has been cancelled.
133
00:10:22,800 --> 00:10:28,200
- Oh, no!
- Yes, I've just had a letter from the council
134
00:10:28,200 --> 00:10:33,100
saying that there's only one gay allowed
in Llandewi Breffi and that's me.
135
00:10:33,100 --> 00:10:37,900
So if you could all return
to your neighbouring villages, please.
136
00:10:37,900 --> 00:10:39,400
Ooh!
137
00:10:39,400 --> 00:10:43,500
- Oh, Daffyd, you bloody fool!
- What?
138
00:10:43,500 --> 00:10:47,300
Think of all the cock and bum fun
you could have had!
139
00:10:47,300 --> 00:10:51,300
That's the last time I close my pub
for one of your gay nights!
140
00:10:51,300 --> 00:10:53,800
Got something against gay people, have you?
141
00:10:54,800 --> 00:10:59,500
Samantha Grant recently upset her parents
by marrying her former teacher.
142
00:10:59,500 --> 00:11:04,500
In an effort to clear the air,
she has invited them round for dinner.
143
00:11:04,500 --> 00:11:07,500
- What time are your parents coming?
- Any minute now!
144
00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:11,900
- Calm down, Samantha.
- I just want everything to be right.
145
00:11:11,900 --> 00:11:17,300
Look, I may have been your teacher,
but we're just like any other couple.
146
00:11:18,300 --> 00:11:21,600
- (DOORBELL RINGS)
- The bell is a signal for me, not you.
147
00:11:23,900 --> 00:11:28,600
- I'll just put the veg on.
- Ah, Mr and Mrs Hughes. Please, come in.
148
00:11:28,600 --> 00:11:31,600
- Thank you.
- Please, sit down.
149
00:11:31,800 --> 00:11:34,300
Right, Samantha...
150
00:11:34,300 --> 00:11:37,700
Samantha, Samantha, Samantha...
151
00:11:39,400 --> 00:11:42,300
Samantha Carver... Ah! Yes, Samantha Grant.
152
00:11:43,300 --> 00:11:48,900
Yes. I mean, overall it's been
a good three months of marriage for Samantha.
153
00:11:48,900 --> 00:11:55,200
Um, she's a very clever girl. She's got a lot
to say for herself. Sometimes a little too much!
154
00:11:55,200 --> 00:11:59,400
- And her work can be a little slapdash.
- What do you mean?
155
00:11:59,400 --> 00:12:02,300
Well, um, take this, for example.
156
00:12:02,300 --> 00:12:06,700
She's dusted it, obviously at the last minute,
and missed around the edges.
157
00:12:06,700 --> 00:12:11,700
So I had to give her 6 out of 10. Could you
bring in the wine now, please, Samantha?
158
00:12:13,100 --> 00:12:17,800
- Walk, don't run!
- Sorry! Still cooking.
159
00:12:17,800 --> 00:12:22,200
- Smells lovely, dear. We've missed you, pet.
- Hello, stranger.
160
00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:28,000
How might one order a bottle of wine in France?
Samantha?
161
00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:34,000
- Oh. Une boutteille de vin, s'il vous pla๏ฟฝt.
- Ah, c'est formidable!
162
00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:37,000
Samantha's very good at oral.
163
00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:44,000
Meanwhile,
it is a sad day at Sandi Toksvig House.
164
00:12:52,100 --> 00:12:57,600
- We're very sorry for your loss.
- Thank you. Do come in.
165
00:13:02,700 --> 00:13:05,500
She's just through there.
166
00:13:10,700 --> 00:13:15,200
It sounds awful to say, but...in a way it's a relief.
167
00:13:15,200 --> 00:13:18,800
- Yes.
- She'd been very ill for many years.
168
00:13:18,800 --> 00:13:23,000
We'd had so many scares.
So in the end it was just very peaceful.
169
00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:26,600
Mr Garfield, can you come in here a moment?
170
00:13:26,600 --> 00:13:29,600
- Excuse me.
- Of course.
171
00:13:33,100 --> 00:13:37,300
Come on, Bernard. Kitty wouldn't want you to cry.
172
00:13:39,500 --> 00:13:42,300
- Mr Chumley?
- Yes?
173
00:13:44,300 --> 00:13:48,000
- She's not dead.
- No, I know.
174
00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:51,000
Any chance you could take her anyway?
175
00:14:01,500 --> 00:14:04,500
- (THUD ON WALL)
- Yes, all right, Kitty!
176
00:14:05,900 --> 00:14:09,900
0ver ten board games
are sold every day in Britain.
177
00:14:09,900 --> 00:14:14,900
The most popular are Ask Alan,
Frobisher's Fingers and Pigdog.
178
00:14:19,900 --> 00:14:24,000
- This is the big one! It's Snakes and Snakes!
- Right.
179
00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:28,500
You know Snakes and Ladders?
It's like that, but with snakes.
180
00:14:28,500 --> 00:14:32,000
- Right.
- There is a snake on every square.
181
00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:36,300
Devilishly difficult. No one's ever finished it.
How's that for starters?
182
00:14:37,600 --> 00:14:40,000
Got another one!
183
00:14:42,500 --> 00:14:46,500
- Milk Round.
- Right. How does Milk Round work?
184
00:14:46,500 --> 00:14:51,500
You are a milkman delivering milk -
or a woman - to a house from your van, or a flat.
185
00:14:51,500 --> 00:14:57,200
Right. You be the milk bottle.
I will be the loaf of bread. Right, pick a card.
186
00:14:57,200 --> 00:15:01,000
- What's it say?
- ''Two pints of milk, please.''
187
00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:07,000
Right. What that means is, please, two pints
of milk, please, for house number one. Right?
188
00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:10,000
Roll the dice.
189
00:15:13,100 --> 00:15:17,200
- I said roll the dice!
- Oh! Sorry.
190
00:15:17,200 --> 00:15:21,700
- Six. Ignore it. Right, what are you again?
- I think I'm the milk bottle.
191
00:15:21,700 --> 00:15:24,300
I wanted to be the milk bottle.
192
00:15:24,300 --> 00:15:28,900
- Right. This is all very interesting...
- Got another one!
193
00:15:28,900 --> 00:15:31,900
Scratch Wood Scratch.
194
00:15:32,200 --> 00:15:34,600
Your go.
195
00:15:35,700 --> 00:15:40,700
- No!
- I don't even know what the... I don't know.
196
00:15:42,900 --> 00:15:46,900
I've never seen that move before.
Let me just check the rule book.
197
00:15:54,800 --> 00:16:00,100
Yeah, you've won! You're a clever one,
I'll give you that. Right, got another one.
198
00:16:00,100 --> 00:16:04,000
- Throw Baby, Catch Baby. Needs a real baby.
- No.
199
00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:05,700
- Cards?
- No.
200
00:16:05,700 --> 00:16:08,400
- Fighting?
- How can I put this?
201
00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:11,200
I'm sorry. There's some misunderstanding here.
202
00:16:11,200 --> 00:16:15,700
- We are not a games manufacturer.
- Yeah.
203
00:16:15,700 --> 00:16:21,000
And we've never made games here.
We import tyres. You do know that?
204
00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:22,800
Yeah.
205
00:16:23,800 --> 00:16:26,000
Your point being...?
206
00:16:26,900 --> 00:16:30,300
At Kelsey Grammar School,
a new term is beginning.
207
00:16:41,500 --> 00:16:46,400
You may sit. Right, let me introduce myself.
208
00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:49,400
My name is Mr Cleeves
209
00:16:49,600 --> 00:16:53,500
and I will be teaching you...biology.
210
00:16:55,400 --> 00:16:57,100
Good!
211
00:16:58,000 --> 00:17:00,200
And he never took an assembly again!
212
00:17:05,800 --> 00:17:10,300
- This sorbet's delicious. Did you make it?
- Yes, with a little help from Nigella.
213
00:17:10,300 --> 00:17:14,700
- What?
- I got it out of Nigella Lawson's book.
214
00:17:14,700 --> 00:17:17,500
- You copied it from Nigella?
- Well...
215
00:17:17,500 --> 00:17:22,500
You took the work of another girl and
passed it off as your own. Right, in the bin!
216
00:17:24,500 --> 00:17:29,800
- I was enjoying that!
- Yes, well, no one likes a cheat.
217
00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:34,800
Sorry about that. He doesn't always
treat me like I'm still at school.
218
00:17:34,800 --> 00:17:39,700
- Coffee, anyone?
- Yes, please, darling. That would be lovely.
219
00:17:39,700 --> 00:17:45,400
There we are. I think it's wonderful
they still do this free milk.
220
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:51,000
Child labour is thankfully
alive and well in Britain.
221
00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:55,800
Today some child actors are auditioning
for a production of ''Bugsy Malone''.
222
00:17:57,900 --> 00:18:00,900
- James Wilton and Ralph Patterson.
- It's Raif.
223
00:18:01,100 --> 00:18:05,700
- If you don't get it, we'll sell the rabbit.
- OK, Mum, I'll do my best.
224
00:18:05,700 --> 00:18:08,100
OK, good luck, love.
225
00:18:09,500 --> 00:18:15,100
Oh, don't forget your tap shoes
and tell them your cousin was on ''Double Dare''!
226
00:18:18,900 --> 00:18:21,700
Does your boy go up for much?
227
00:18:21,700 --> 00:18:26,800
Oh, no, no, this is his first.
Apart from the school play, like.
228
00:18:26,800 --> 00:18:30,900
- Oh, so he's not at stage school?
- No, just normal school.
229
00:18:30,900 --> 00:18:35,900
He don't stand a chance, then. What you've
got to do is get him into a stage school.
230
00:18:35,900 --> 00:18:42,100
- Are they not quite dear?
- Got to make sacrifices. I sold me shoes.
231
00:18:42,100 --> 00:18:45,700
And I'm on the game.
Just so Raif can go to Italia Conti.
232
00:18:45,700 --> 00:18:48,700
- So it's good, then?
- It's worth every penny.
233
00:18:48,900 --> 00:18:53,400
- He got down to the last 12 for Dairylea.
- Really?
234
00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:56,400
Yes, I'm not a liar!
235
00:18:56,500 --> 00:18:59,300
Well, thanks for all your advice, like.
236
00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:04,400
We always knew he was gonna be
an actor, ever since before he was born.
237
00:19:04,400 --> 00:19:08,500
- He's so talented. They say he gets it from me.
- Right.
238
00:19:08,500 --> 00:19:12,100
I would have loved
to have gone to a stage school,
239
00:19:12,100 --> 00:19:15,100
but my mother wouldn't make the sacrifices.
240
00:19:15,300 --> 00:19:20,800
Still, she's blind now and that gives me
some comfort. Are you single or...?
241
00:19:20,800 --> 00:19:26,800
Mr Wilton? We'd like to recall James.
Mrs Patterson, thank you. You're free to go.
242
00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:31,400
- Well done, lad!
- Yeah, well done. Really, really well done.
243
00:19:31,400 --> 00:19:34,000
- Aaaagh!
- Oh! Is he all right?
244
00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:38,100
- He's bleeding!
- Oh, he won't be Bugsy Malone now, will he?
245
00:19:38,100 --> 00:19:41,100
Come on. Better luck next time, eh?
246
00:19:41,100 --> 00:19:43,100
Crazy!
247
00:19:43,100 --> 00:19:47,200
You'll be all right. OK?
Let's have a look, let's have a look.
248
00:19:47,200 --> 00:19:52,900
Oh, dear. Oh, dear. We'll go and get it
cleaned up, right? We'll get it cleaned up.
249
00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:58,000
It's party conference time
and late at night in his hotel room
250
00:19:58,000 --> 00:20:03,100
the Prime Minister is making some final changes
to his big speech. I love party conferences.
251
00:20:03,100 --> 00:20:06,700
They're brilliant. I've got them all on video.
252
00:20:06,700 --> 00:20:12,300
That all seems fine. Just punch up
the stuff about education reform.
253
00:20:12,300 --> 00:20:16,400
- Let's call it a night.
- OK. We'll get to work on that.
254
00:20:16,400 --> 00:20:20,200
- We'll see you in the morning.
- Good night, Prime Minister.
255
00:20:20,200 --> 00:20:22,600
Good night.
256
00:20:26,300 --> 00:20:30,700
- Oh, I thought they'd never leave!
- Is there something you wanted to talk about?
257
00:20:30,700 --> 00:20:33,300
Not really, no.
258
00:20:33,300 --> 00:20:35,700
Oh, I'm shattered.
259
00:20:40,500 --> 00:20:42,900
(PHONE RINGS)
260
00:20:43,900 --> 00:20:48,000
It's probably the Japanese Prime Minister.
Would you mind?
261
00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:51,600
- Can I just use your loo?
- Yeah.
262
00:20:51,600 --> 00:20:54,500
Hello? Yeah, yeah. Put him through.
263
00:20:57,500 --> 00:21:00,100
Kazuko! Konichiwa!
264
00:21:01,100 --> 00:21:06,100
Yes, it's coming along.
Look, I've got the treaty right here.
265
00:21:08,100 --> 00:21:10,700
What exactly are your objections to it?
266
00:21:12,300 --> 00:21:16,800
No, I do realise
it's a very sensitive issue for your people.
267
00:21:16,800 --> 00:21:19,500
Yeah.
268
00:21:19,500 --> 00:21:23,700
No, I appreciate your concerns
about the second clause.
269
00:21:23,700 --> 00:21:28,700
Perhaps we could look at making an amendment
that everybody would...agree with.
270
00:21:29,700 --> 00:21:36,000
Yes? No, I shall be meeting with the Cabinet
tomorrow. We'll get a much clearer picture.
271
00:21:37,200 --> 00:21:40,700
No, I think it's... I think it's very nearly there.
272
00:21:40,700 --> 00:21:43,500
It's just a couple of details, isn't it?
273
00:21:44,500 --> 00:21:49,500
Mm? No, I t...
I take it you'll be at the summit on the 15th?
274
00:21:50,700 --> 00:21:54,700
- It's very important we have it resolved.
- Are you guys gonna be long?
275
00:22:02,100 --> 00:22:04,500
He'll call you back.
276
00:22:06,100 --> 00:22:08,500
Be gentle with me, Prime Minister.
277
00:22:11,100 --> 00:22:15,900
At his home in Herby, Andy is busy
eating his own body weight in nuts.
278
00:22:17,400 --> 00:22:22,000
- What are you watching? ''Monster Trucks''?
- ''Monster Trucks'', yeah.
279
00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:26,700
Well, I have got something
rather special for you.
280
00:22:26,700 --> 00:22:29,700
- What is it?
- It's the new chair you wanted.
281
00:22:29,900 --> 00:22:34,100
- Yeah, I know.
- I had to go all the way to Cranmouth for it.
282
00:22:34,100 --> 00:22:38,400
It was a right kerfuffle.
Right, let's pop you in it here.
283
00:22:38,400 --> 00:22:41,400
One, two, aargh! That's got you, that's got you.
284
00:22:41,500 --> 00:22:45,500
That's got you. Ooh!
That's got you. That's got you.
285
00:22:46,700 --> 00:22:49,700
- I don't like it.
- Give it a chance.
286
00:22:49,800 --> 00:22:54,000
- I wanna get out.
- Maybe you just need a cushion or something.
287
00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:58,600
I'll go and pop your tea on
and then I'll come back and sort it out.
288
00:23:09,900 --> 00:23:12,500
- Everything all right?
- Yeah, fine.
289
00:23:14,100 --> 00:23:16,700
- Roy?
- Yes, Margaret?
290
00:23:16,700 --> 00:23:20,400
- Is the pirate memory game man still there?
- Yes, Margaret!
291
00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:23,800
- Because I think I've found something.
- Oh!
292
00:23:25,300 --> 00:23:27,700
Oh, my word! How funny!
293
00:23:29,700 --> 00:23:35,200
Cap'n Jack's Pirate Memory Game.
Ages - how funny - ages 4 to 8.
294
00:23:35,200 --> 00:23:39,800
- And it does look a little less pirate-y.
- Well, what does he reckon?
295
00:23:39,800 --> 00:23:42,300
Well, what do you reckon?
296
00:23:46,700 --> 00:23:51,500
- Can I have a look at the other one again?
- Yes, of course. There you go.
297
00:23:52,700 --> 00:23:55,300
(HEAVY BREATHING)
298
00:23:57,500 --> 00:24:01,600
- And how much is this one again?
- They both retail at ๏ฟฝ4.95.
299
00:24:01,600 --> 00:24:03,900
- Oh.
- Is there a problem?
300
00:24:03,900 --> 00:24:06,700
I was hoping to spend around ๏ฟฝ4.80.
301
00:24:08,300 --> 00:24:12,000
I'll be getting some money for my birthday.
I'll buy it then.
302
00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:13,800
Yes.
303
00:24:17,700 --> 00:24:20,300
(HEAVY SIGH)
304
00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:30,200
Sheltered accommodation is where people
305
00:24:30,200 --> 00:24:34,900
who are too old and lazy
to do things for themselves are kept.
306
00:24:34,900 --> 00:24:38,700
- Do I look all right?
- Yeah, you look fine.
307
00:24:38,700 --> 00:24:43,700
- (RINGS DOORBELL)
- So...no grandad in the frame?
308
00:24:43,700 --> 00:24:46,400
No. No, he died ten years ago.
309
00:24:46,400 --> 00:24:48,900
Oh, great...shock that must have been.
310
00:24:51,500 --> 00:24:54,000
- Oh, hello, love.
- Hello, Nan.
311
00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:58,700
- Sorry to keep you. Me hip's playing up again.
- You remember Jason.
312
00:24:58,700 --> 00:25:01,700
(ROMANTIC MUSIC)
313
00:25:04,400 --> 00:25:06,400
Hello.
314
00:25:14,900 --> 00:25:17,700
Ooh! Mind me bag, it's nearly full!
315
00:25:18,800 --> 00:25:23,700
- We got your shopping.
- Oh, you are good. Come in, come in.
316
00:25:25,100 --> 00:25:29,300
- I'm sorry I'm in me nightie.
- It's all right. You've got the figure for it.
317
00:25:29,300 --> 00:25:31,600
Oh, thanks!
318
00:25:31,600 --> 00:25:35,000
- We'll just put these away for you.
- Oh, thanks.
319
00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:38,000
Cheers (!)
320
00:25:41,300 --> 00:25:46,100
Thanks for helping with the shopping.
You are a good boy.
321
00:25:46,100 --> 00:25:48,500
I can be a bad boy sometimes.
322
00:25:51,100 --> 00:25:55,600
- It's hot in here.
- I like it nice and warm.
323
00:25:55,600 --> 00:25:58,200
Working up...
324
00:25:58,200 --> 00:26:00,700
..quite a sweat.
325
00:26:00,700 --> 00:26:05,700
You couldn't pass me that pouffe,
could you, dear? Me feet are killing me.
326
00:26:07,900 --> 00:26:10,900
- There you go.
- Oh, ta.
327
00:26:21,100 --> 00:26:23,500
Oh, baby.
328
00:26:25,900 --> 00:26:30,400
- Is that nice?
- Oh, yeah.
329
00:26:30,400 --> 00:26:33,400
- What about here?
- Mm.
330
00:26:48,700 --> 00:26:51,700
Don't know if you wanted sugar, Jase...
331
00:26:53,600 --> 00:26:57,100
- What's going on?
- It's not what it looks like.
332
00:26:57,100 --> 00:26:59,600
Get out. Get out!
333
00:27:09,900 --> 00:27:14,800
- (DOOR SLAMS)
- Is he a trained chiropodist?
334
00:27:23,500 --> 00:27:28,900
Oh, I forgot to say, I won't be here tomorrow
night. Mr Jackson will be filling in for me.
335
00:27:32,700 --> 00:27:36,100
Right. I think that's ready to go in the oven now.
336
00:27:38,700 --> 00:27:41,100
Whoa! I've got it, I've got it.
337
00:27:45,700 --> 00:27:48,200
Yeah, down a bit.
338
00:27:48,200 --> 00:27:50,800
A bit lower.
339
00:27:50,800 --> 00:27:53,300
If we try it round this way...
340
00:27:53,300 --> 00:27:58,500
And so we have reached the end
of this evening's television programme.
341
00:27:58,500 --> 00:28:02,100
And what a remarkable array
of Britons we've met.
342
00:28:02,100 --> 00:28:06,200
My favourites were the little kicking boy,
Beefy Bill,
343
00:28:06,200 --> 00:28:09,200
and Dicky Snapples,
the dwarf who hides apples.
344
00:28:09,400 --> 00:28:12,200
Until next time, goodbive!
30960
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Oromo
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof