All language subtitles for Bones (2005) - S05E04 - The Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood (1080p x265 EDGE2020).eng

[ Squeaking, Clattering ] [ Man ]
Mary, don't run, honey.

♪♪ [ Hawaiian Band,
Man Vocalizing ]

♪♪ [ Man Singing In Hawaiian ]

[ Woman ]
Everybody, I've got
fresh pineapple!

♪ Aha ♪[ Chattering ]

♪♪ [ Chorus Singing
In Hawaiian ]

[ Woman ]
I just baked it.
Help yourself.

♪ Sometimes you're sweet
Sometimes you're sour ♪

- ♪♪ [ Continues In Hawaiian ]
- [ Man Laughing ]

- Hey!
- ♪ Think about you
every day, every hour ♪

- ♪♪ [ Continues, Indistinct ]
- Hey! Back off, sailor.

Grabbing the gay guy's
coconut boob.

Real cool, Dad.Your old man is cool.

- Right, Nate?
- Massively cool, Bob.
You're a glacier.

Aren't any of these
nonalcoholic?

It would do you some good
to have a couple drinks,
loosen up a little.

All due respect, James.
I don't even understand why
gays want to get married.

Elliot, for the same reason
we do-- family, kids.

The American dream.Exactly.
Thank you, Paula.

Our house has been on the market
for 10 months. Nobody wants
the American dream anymore.

Elliot, you're gonna
love the burbs once we
have a couple of kids.

- [ Loud Popping ]
- [ Man ] Whoo-whee!
What's going on?

- [ Woman ]
Let me take your picture.
- [ Man ] Aw!

- It's coming from the luau pit.
- Hey, Trey. What's that noise?

And for God's sake,
Bob, he's a gardener,
not a servant.

He works for
the homeowners association,
which means he works for us.

- Am I wrong?
- Maybe the, uh, pig's eyeballs
explode when it's done.

No, it shouldn't be done
for a couple more hours.

- We should check and make sure
it's not burning.
- Yeah.

- [ Woman ]
Looks good.
- All right. Step back.

[ Man ]
Here, piggy, piggy.All right. Look out. Get back.

- This is kosher, right?
- Oh, yeah.

Elliot, will you get
the meat thermometer? Oh, my God.

What, hon?

[ Man ]
Great. I'm hungry.

- [ Woman Groans ]
- [ Gasps ]

[ Bob ]
Is that a person?

- [ Bob ] That's a person.
- [ Nate ] He's been cooked.

[ Brennan ]
Why are you standing there
like a security guard?

- Parker! Hey.
- Hi.

The remains we've been
called to examine were
apparently barbecued.

- Would you like to see?
- Totally!

No, no. A person
did not get barbecued,
did they, Dr. Brennan?

Yes. In a luau pit,
which is why I'm surprised
you'd bring Parker along.

I-- Rebecca and her boyfriend
won a night at the Greenbriar.
So, little kid's with me.

I got him.Let's go see
the cooked person.

Geesh. You know our deal.Well, what's your deal?

We're not allowed to talk about
the bad parts of Dad's work
until I have armpit hair.

You don't have any armpit hair
last time I checked.
Not for a long time, kid.

- Angela, would you mind--
- Oh, no.

Sure.
I get the situation here.

You're with me, Parker.I wanna see
the barbecued body.

Well, I agree.
That does sound awesome.

But I have face paints
that your dad will never
be able to get off,

no matter how hard
he scrubs.

- They're basically tattoos.
- Okay. I'm with you.

You have a good time.
I'll come pick you up
in a little bit, all right?

Have fun.
Have fun with
the face paints, kid.

- That's not true about
the face paint, is it?
- You're with me, baby boo.

Ethnographic studies
of the suburbs indicate
a cultural impulsion...

toward overt displays
of status.

Of course, this competitive
paradigm can often result
in aggression and violence.

There was this guy
on my street who cut
his lawn on the diagonal.

The neighbors got angry.
Someone set his garage
on fire.

Oh. I mean, yards, sidewalks,
you know, clean streets,
birds flying by.

- Dead body in the barbecue pit.
- [ Booth ] Oh. Okay.
You know what?

I'm gonna talk to the neighbors
to see if anyone who cut their
lawn diagonally is missing.

[ Brennan ]
I think those are
reflective lenses...

that have fused
into the supraorbital margin.

Nate and I moved
to Verbena Court
about six months ago.

The luau pit came
with the house.

We installed a lockable cover.
We don't want kids falling in.

Uh, we're
good neighbors.Who has a key?

Uh, just us.
And there's one with
the Neighborhood Watch.

Okay. Uh, who put
the pig in the pit?

Uh, me, Nate and Trey,
at 9:00 this morning.

Trey?Uh, Trey Jordan.

He's the gardener/handyman
for the homeowners association.

Stop starring at him, James.You were just
talking about him.

Guys, guys.
When you put the pig in--

Uh, we didn't notice
anything down there
but hot coals.

[ Saroyan ]
Forty-eight degrees Celsius.

That's what-- an hour after
they drenched everything
with a garden hose?

Wish they hadn't done that.It's human nature,
Dr. Brennan.

You see someone on fire,
you put him out.

The prominent brow
points to a male.

Wear on his mandibular teeth
puts his age at about 30 to 35.

We should remove the remains
and then let Hodgins
get down here.

We have the luau
every year.

The pit was dug maybe--Four years ago, July.

Same time we planted
our hydrangeas. That reminds me.
We should spray.

Yeah. We all helped
with the pit.

It's, uh, four feet deep
and lined with brick.
You burn the wood to embers.

- You cheat with charcoal.
- Don't call your dad
a cheater, Paige.

Anyway, tons of embers going.
Then you throw down
a layer of wet burlap.

Then wet leaves
and wet burlap,
chicken wire.

Then you lower the pig in
and-- voilà!

Yeah. You're forgetting
one thing there.I don't think so.

- Burlap, leaves--
- He means the dead guy
under the pig, Dad.

Smart one in the family there.
So what made you crack open
the pit early?

We heard little explosions,
like fireworks going off.

We found these in the pit.

[ Booth ]
Reflective aviators.

Those look like
Mr. Bessette's glasses.

- Oh, my God.
- That's Kurt.

-[ Paige ] You must be mistaken.
-Hey, everybody!
Looks like it was Kurt!

[ Gasping ] [ Woman ]
No!

- [ Man ] Not Kurt.
- Kurt?

[ Crowd Chattering ]

Who's Kurt?

H-He and his wife
live over there.Hmm.

[ Man ]
That's scary.

That was creepy.

Well, I warned you
about the suburbs.

And you're certain
it's Kurt?

I'm afraid so,
Ms. Bessette.

Uh, his teeth
matched the X-rays
your dentist provided.

Well, I already told the
F.B.I. guy and the scary lady
everything I know,

so I don't know what--

You mentioned that you
and your husband didn't really
fit in with the neighborhood.

Oh, yeah. Uh, Kurt put up a
solar panel and a wind turbine,
and it made everybody mad.

They thought
they were pretty ugly.

They said it ruined
the neighborhood, you know.

But he just wanted to save
the planet. There's nothing
wrong with that, right?

No, it's quite
a noble cause.

But it can kinda rub people
the wrong way sometimes.

When the gay couple's dog peed
on the wind turbine,

Kurt gave the dog a laxative
that nearly killed him.

[ Chuckling ]Oh.

Well, that-- That's
not quite so noble.

[ Laughs ]

Neighbors don't forget
a thing like that.

We got shunned.

I know what caused
the mini explosions.

Would it have anything to do
with the pebbles embedded
in the remains?

If by "pebbles" you mean the
rudaceous sedimentary stratified
clast fragments, then yes.

Now, based on
the amount of pyrites,

I'd estimate the porosity
at approximately 25%.

It's ideal
for moisture saturation.

Meaning
the pebbles exploded
when they got hot.

The "pebbles," as you
so quaintly call them,

were all found on the same
strata as the human remains,

most likely dragged
from the murder site.

Which explains why they were
embedded in the remains.

Yeah. All consistent
in size and color.

Decorative perhaps.

I'll call you back.

[ Computer Beeps ]These bones
are not human.

- I assume they're pig.
- Yes.

[ Alarm Beeping ]Time for prayers?

Yes, but I have
a couple of minutes.

- Oh, I'm sorry.
- Why?

As a Muslim, I imagine you
consider this work unclean.

Yes. Well, as a Christian,
I imagine you feel
the same way.

I have four femurs,
12 phalanges, dozens
of teeth, 12 canines.

Luau custom says throw
the pig bones back in the pit.

- Sorry. Sorry. Pig bones. God!
- I'm fine, Dr. Saroyan.

Perhaps the killer assumed his
victim's remains would never be
noticed amongst the pig bones.

- Arastoo, there's no reason
for you to be here.
- I appreciate your concern,

- but I am fine.
- No really.

Most of us aren't devout here,
and I respect your religion.

"He hath forbidden you
the flesh of swine,

"but if one
is forced by necessity,

without willful disobedience,
nor transgressing due limits,
then is he guiltless."

The point is,
you shouldn't feel forced--

[ Without Accent ]
I'm a scientist, okay?
Just like the rest of you.

I can deal, so please,
just back off and let me
do my job like anyone else.

Wow.

[ With Accent ]
I apologize for
my outburst.

Oh, you aren't even gonna
try to unring that bell,
are you?

[ Beeping ]I have to pray.

[ Phone Ringing ]

[ Beeps ]Saroyan.

I found the rudaceous
sedimentary stratified clast
fragment mother lode.

Uh, any signs of a struggle
in the pebbles?

No.

Um, I call do-over.

They're covered in blood.

Lots of blood.

My friend's dad just
got a new girlfriend.

He goes with his dad to her
place all the time to swim.

Oh, so he likes her.
Well, that's good.

Do you have a boyfriend?No, I'm on a celibacy kick.

It's been five months
and nine days...

which, in celibacy time,
is 400 years.

What does celibacy mean?

It's, um--
I don't have a boyfriend. No.

How about my dad?I don't think he has
a boyfriend either.

No, he really, really
needs a girlfriend.

Really.Why?

To sex up.That's very succinctly put.

Could Dad sex you up?[ Chuckling ]

Don't think I haven't
considered that, but I'm sort
of on the sidelines for now.

But thank you
for thinking of me.

Okay. Ready?Mm-hmm.

Done.Cool.

How'd you do that?I'm good.

How much blood
did Hodgins find?

Plenty.
He estimates a fatal amount.

Can you compare the blood
to the cooked guy
and see if it's his?

Well, he's pretty cooked,
but we'll try.[ Beeps ]

Hodgins I.D.'d morning glory
pollen between the victim's
eyeballs and his sunglasses.

How is that relevant? Well, he said morning glories
only bloom after sunup.

Sunrise was 5:47 a.m.,
so we're close to
a time of death.

Were you guys aware that Arastoo
doesn't really have an accent?

Yeah, he does.

Yeah, it's thicker than
Achmed the rug merchant.

Was that racist?
It sounded racist.

I knew that, despite
the fact that Arastoo
said he was Iranian,

his accent was Jordanian.

Well, don't you find it odd
that he was faking
an Arab accent of any kind?

Iranian isn't actually Arab.What? It's--
Bones, it's weird.

Now, how is it any more odd
than, say, shaving your face
or putting on makeup?

I'm not hanging up because
I don't have an answer to that.
I'm just hanging up.

But-- I had questions
about the morning glories.

[ Officer ]
I appreciate it.
Thank you.

So we understand
that you and the deceased had
an altercation over your dog.

You think that we cooked him
because he poisoned our dog?

- Kurt did not poison our dog.
- Yes, he did.

Rocky peed on his stupid
windmill, so then he gave
our dog chocolate laxatives.

Dogs don't react to that
the way people do.

It's very difficult
to overdose on laxatives.
All that will happen is--

Rocky died from cancer.Maybe.

We'll never know because
someone wouldn't pay
for a doggie autopsy.

Oh, my God.
You won't let that go,

even though the F.B.I.
thinks we killed Kurt
for poisoning our dog.

- We don't think
that he poisoned our dog.
- Well, he does.

Now that I think about it,
Rocky totally died of cancer.

Can you see anything
that would explain
copious blood loss?

[ With Accent ] Not so far.
As you can see here and here--Can it, bub.

- It's just you and me here.
- [ Clears Throat ]

[ Without Accent ]
This mark here on the scapula
suggests a puncture wound.

That's barely a poke, right?

It would have been painful,
but no way it kills the guy.

Here, we see
a bone laceration...

on the victim's
proximal humerus, adjacent
to the greater tubercle.

Staining suggests
that injury occurred
before he died.

- Is that bone splintering?
- Yes. Micro fragments.

I believe the laceration
is the result of a blow from
a reciprocating-type weapon.

- Like--
- A saw.

I asked Dr. Hodgins
to swab for particulates...

that may have been transferred
from the blade.

[ Beeping ]Here is the stab wound...

and laceration
from the saw.

Neither blow's anywhere near
a major vein or artery.

Neither blow explains
the amount of blood
on the pebbles.

I ran a metal detector
through all the crap we found
at the bottom of the pit.

-Crap?
-Yeah, technical term. You know.

Bullet.
Is that a .44 caliber?

Yep.

[ With Accent ] This seems
to suggest rather convincingly
the reason for all the blood.

[ Gunfire, Explosions ]

[ Screeching ]Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Wait a second.

You and Parker discussed
my sex life?

Well, we discussed
your lack of sex life.

Angela, neither you, nor him--
especially him-- knows anything
about my sex life.

Well, he knows that Daddy
ain't getting any,
and he's concerned.

He thinks you need a girlfriend,
to have sex.

He said that?Well, his exact words
were "to sex up."

I think you need
to talk to him honestly
about your love life.

You kidding? No offense, but
I'm not talking about that.Hey.

- What?
- Wanna run our friendly
neighborhood suburbanites...

through the national
gun permit database,
see if any of them own a .44?

- Hodgins found that in the pit.
- Hi, Dr. Saroyan.

Do you have a boyfriend?

See, this is exactly
how it started with me.Come on. Let's go.

I gotta get you back home.
Your mom's gonna kill me,
all right?

Let me see this stuff.
Does this stuff come off?

Oh, seriously,
that's your big worry
right now?

I hate Verbena Court--
every last thing about it.

It's artificial.
It's soulless. That's why
I'm trying to sell out.

It's ennui, Agent Booth.
You understand that?

Looks kinda nice to me.
It's good for kids.

They call it a cul-de-sac,
but what it is is a dead end.

So why'd you move there
in the first place?

Wife wants kids,
kids want lawns. [ Knocking ]

I got snookered
in the math.Here you go.

Right. Thanks.
Snookered enough,
uh, to snap?

[ Chuckling ]
So I own a handgun.
So what?

I have a license.
It's registered.

We found this bullet in the pit
with Bessette's body.

We checked out
his bank records,

and you wired $5,000
into his account last month.

Verbena Court was built
with a limited amount
of phone lines.

Bessette bought them all.
I wanted to put in
a second line.

Your neighbor charged you $5,000
for a phone line?

Yep.

Then he spent the five grand
on putting up the damn windmill.

Okay. So he rips you off
for five grand, you snap
and you shoot him.

No. [ Chuckles ]
I should've shot him.

It wasn't Kurt
I shot though.

- I shot the pig, the luau pig.
- Excuse me?

Bob Sayles and I found
a farm in North Carolina...

and paid to hunt
our own pig.

With a handgun?

I'll give you the name
of the farm.

Porky walked
right up to us.

I popped him one
between the eyes.
I barfed. Bob cried.

[ Chuckling ]

Suburban hunters.
It's an oxymoron, my friend.

It's an oxymoron.

[ Door Opens ]

No, no, no, no.
You can't just walk
in here and--

Arastoo Vaziri,
our Muslim intern--
he's been faking his accent.

At first, I go where everyone
else goes, you know?
Terrorist.

Wouldn't a terrorist fake
nothaving an accent?

Is it crazy or just weird?
Weird I can deal with,
but crazy--

-Wait. What do you
want me to do?
-Oh, "crazy" is your department.

They went to a farm and shot
an innocent pig in the head?

Look, it's not a federal
offense, Bones. There's nothing
we can do about it now, okay?

So let's just focus
on the murdered human.

Okay. So far we have
a nick on the scapula--Mm-hmm.

suggesting stabbing.

And splintering
on the humerus,
which suggests sawing.

But neither explains
bleeding out.

Sweets says he has something
he'd like to share with us
in the conference room.

Why does he say "share"?
Why can't he just say "show"?Shh. Okay. What do you have?

Hey.Hey.

Suburbanites tend to put
too much emphasis on their
outward accomplishments.

Now, this creates
a sense of detachment.Ennui.

Very insightful.That's right.

All right. Uh, the inherent
uniformity and shared ideals
of a planned community...

suggest that
the neighborhood can be
psychologically analyzed...

as a single
dysfunctional personality.

You mean you can look at it
anthropologically.

You're gonna shanghai
my whole discipline?

You're tapping into what
anthropologists call...

"lines of influence,
dominance and suasion."

Go on, Sweets.
Just let him go on.

So we can, uh, look at
the community as a single
dysfunctional personality...

dealing with sexual infidelity,
indebtedness, resentment.

- That's what I just said.
- Both of you, it's murder.

We're either dealing
with money or sex here.That's what I just said.

And this is where psychology
can provide an insight
that anthropology cannot.

- I doubt that.
- Well, suburbanites, uh, will
not only lie to outsiders.

They'll lie to each other
and to themselves.

What Sweets means is that
societal norms endemic to
the suburban acculturation...

dichotomize exterior postures
and clandestine protocols.

Just give me one thing
that's gonna help me
catch the murderer.

All right. Deal with
all of these people...

as separate elements...

of one big
collective personality.

Identify the threat that
Kurt Bessette posed to their
psychological equanimity,

and the killer
will emerge.

- I agree.
- Doesn't help me one bit.

[ Sweets ]
Why?

You seriously believe
all that hoo-ha?

Well, it's anthropology,
so yes.

"Wrong-ology."
Keep your grubby anthro
hands off my psych.

Listen. Bones, I'll meet you
down at the car in five minutes.What?

Five minutes.What?

[ Exhales ]
Okay. Look.

Parker has been asking all
the women that I work with
to be my girlfriend.

The women you work with
are beautiful.

Don't turn this into
a conversation about sex.
My kid is eight years old.

Parker's preadolescent,
but he's very concerned
with sex.

What he's concerned about
are shoes with wheels on 'em.

There are five stages of
psychosexual development:

oral, anal--Whoa.

phallic, latent and genital.

Now, Parker's transitioning
from latent to genital.

At the genital stage,
he's learning to identify
with his gender parent.

That's you.
He's looking at you
to see his sexual future.

How do I get him to stop?My advice is to let him see you
interact with a woman.

Easy!No, not sexually.
Socially.

Show him you're comfortable
with women, so he can learn
to be the same way.

Okay.Okay? Just like that?

- You're taking my advice?
- No, I just don't wanna talk
to you about it anymore.

Wait.
This isn't my office.

[ Man ]
♪ It's the good life ♪

♪ Full of fun ♪

♪ Seems to be the ideal ♪

♪ Yes, the good life ♪

♪ Lets you hide
all the sadness you feel ♪

[ No Audible Dialogue ]

♪ You won't really
fall in love ♪

♪ 'Cause you can't
take the chance ♪

♪ So be honest
with yourself ♪

♪ Don't try to fake romance ♪♪What are you doing?

"Alibis." Huh.
That's very organized.

"At the time of the murder,
Mary Kay Sayles was biking...

[ Both ]
with James Perry
and Elliot Lindbergh."

Thinking gay guy
and burb hater are out
biking with church lady.

[ Gasps ]
Oh, so you're thinking
they're a sexual threesome.

Ah.What? Wow. No.

I was just thinking that one
of these cyclists was having sex
with Kurt Bessette.

Oh. So we should find out
where churchy lady's husband,
gay guy's boyfriend...

and burb hater's wife
were at the time.

Man, if this turns out to be
some suburban key-party,
threesome revenge slaying,

it's gonna get complicated,
and I'm gonna get all--

Hey, so I finally got
through the particulates
left behind by the saw.

Three different organic
remnants on the cut.

A hooked thorn from
a Bougainvillea glabra.

A haw from a hybrid
Crataegus monogynaand nectar
from a Syringa protolaciniata.

- See you later!
- Each plant was from
a different yard.

But all in the same
reciprocating saw.Yeah.

[ Motor Whirring ]Really?

Like, uh, that one
that Casanova gardener boy
is using.

So, my question is,
did you kill Kurt Bessette
on your own volition,

or did his wife
talk you into it?

- What?
- Bessette was attacked
with your hedge trimmer.

Come on.
Young, hot suburban gardener.
Bored suburban housewives.

- You're an ethnological trope.
- What?

Ice tea's not
the only perk here.

Look, I had nothin' going
with Kurt Bessette's wife.

Let me make this a little
easier for you, shall we?
[ Clears Throat ]

[ Exhales ]

Which one of these people did
you have something going with?

Paige Sayles.

The church lady's daughter.

Look, she's 18. She's legal.
And plus, it was her idea.

- And?
- [ Chuckles ]

Paula Lindbergh.

I think she's trying to
get pregnant so her husband
would stay in the suburbs.

So, you mind being used
as a stud horse?

[ Chuckles ]
Would you?

Do these women know
about each other?Not from me.

Then from who?

Mr. Bessette caught me
and Mrs. Lindbergh
sloshing up her hot tub.

Where were you between
the hours of 5:00 a.m.
and 8:00 a.m....

the morning of the luau?

I've got a girlfriend.
I mean, back in my neighborhood.

A real one who I love.
I was with her.

Wow! That cul-de-sac
is like a sex camp.

What?
There's a sex camp?No. No, no.

Listen. What were
your anthropological
lines again?

Influence, dominance
and suasion.

We both know that the murder
victim wasn't above shaking
someone down for phone lines.

Maybe he finds out that
Paula Lindbergh is trying to
make babies with the gardener.

He puts the squeeze on her.
She kills him.

Casanova gardener boy--
[ Clicks Tongue ]
helps out.

It definitely
fits the paradigm.

I was afraid this would come up
when I heard you took Trey
in for questioning.

You're right.
So start talking.

I should never
have made Elliot
move to the suburbs.

In a way,
I emasculated him.

Oh, God. She's a therapist.
She talks like a therapist.

What, you remove a man
from an environment
where he flourishes...

to a place where he feels
impotent, he actually
becomes impotent.

Look, if you wanted a baby
so bad, why didn't you just
move back to the city?

We owe more on this house
than it's worth.

Even if Elliot could sell it,
we're stuck financially.

What happened when Kurt Bessette
found you with the gardener? Nothing.

He smirked.

Did Kurt threaten
to tell your husband
or blackmail you?

- Oh, no. He wouldn't dare.
- Why not?

Wait. You think
that Kurt told my husband
about the gardener,

and so Elliot killed him?

Elliot puked
when he shot a pig.
Please.

Interlocking lines
of suasion between members
of the collective...

result in
multiple duplicities.

Oh, my God.
She's an anthropologist.

- She talks like
an anthropologist.
- Just answer the question.

Why wouldn't Kurt Bessette
dare tell your husband
about the gardener?

I'm a trained therapist.
I looked at Kurt and Paige
talking on the street.

I knew immediately
the relationship was
clandestine, probably sexual.

Kurt Bessette was sleeping
with that 18-year-old girl.

I used that knowledge
to ask for our five grand
back for the phone.

Kurt wouldn't have agreed
if it weren't true.

If I were you,
I'd be looking at Paige's
father for this murder,

not my Elliot.

- Hey, Dad.
- Hey, Paige.
You want some of that?

[ Squeals ]
I'm gonna kill you!That never gets old.

Okay, yeah.
Kurt and I hooked up.

I'm of age.
He didn't break any laws
sleeping with me.

What did you see in him?Kurt wasn't like
the other guys from here.

He wasn't just cute.
He--

He was committed
to the environment,
saving our planet.

People hated him because
he made them feel ashamed
that they weren't doing more.

Well, I think
what they hated
was the windmill.

You know,
it's possible having sex
with you killed him.

No. Kurt was
in awesome shape.

No, I didn't mean that you
gave him a heart attack.

What I meant was,
it's possible that someone
who cares about youkilled him.

Like my dad, you mean?Or Trey, the gardener.

They didn't even know
about Kurt.

Well, what if they did?

[ Arastoo, With Accent ]
Is this an official
F.B.I. investigation?

Do I need some kind
of representation?

Yeah, the whole accent thing--
it's kinda out in the world.

[ Without Accent ]
I figured.

This place,
the Jeffersonian--

they see things in
very black-and-white terms.

Comes with the gig.
We're scientists.

Yeah. But unlike any of them,
you're religious.

Muslim.Now, this man I see
in front of me right now--

rational, pragmatic,
highly intelligent.

That man might have to explain
his religion to people like that
every single day.

- Whereas--
- Whereas a kid from
the sticks of Iran,

newly arrived in the West--

it's no wonder he clings
to his cultural superstitions.

There you go.
Frustrating enough to drive
a guy to fake an accent.

Which, in my professional
opinion, is not crazy.

You're a pretty smart guy.

But I don't need a scientist
to tell me who or what I am,

and neither should you,
Mr. Vaziri.

- Thanks for coming by.
- Thank you.

Tox screen came back positive
for potassium nitrate,

which can be prescribed
for high blood pressure.

[ On Speakerphone ]
But Kurt Bessette was
in very good shape.

Yes, we heard that
from his teenaged girlfriend.

[ Booth ]
Enough to kill the guy?Nope.

He might have experienced some
muscle weakness, but otherwise,
saltpeter's fairly harmless.

Saltpeter is not harmless.
Okay? I went to
Catholic school.

- That's a total myth, Booth.
- No, Booth did actually
go to a Catholic school.

No, no, no. The nuns, they
used to put saltpeter in all
the boys' milk at lunch...

so that
we couldn't get--

so we could concentrate
without, you know-- ping!

But how could you tell
it was in the boys' milk
and not the girls'?

- 'Cause the boys' milk
was always frothier.
- And did it work?

Well, not on me.Well, it didn't work
on anyone, Booth.

Why people insist upon believing
that old wives' tale...

in the face of all evidence,
I'll never understand.

Saltpeter acts
as a blood thinner.

See? Thin blood
could stop a guy from--

We've been saying
that the two wounds we found
on the victim's body...

wouldn't be enough
for him to bleed out.

But with saltpeter, he could
have bled internally...

from even minor
soft tissue damage.

We'd never have seen
the evidence of that
after he cooked.

We got probable cause of death.

Now we just need to find out who
fed Kurt Bessette the saltpeter.

I think you'll want to talk
to the cheating bastard's wife.

I begged Kurt
to stop cheating on me.

I did everything I could
in the bedroom
to make him stay.

I changed my hair.
I went to the gym.

But when I went to work every
day, it was a "cat's away,
mice play" situation.

And where'd you get
the saltpeter?

Oh. Um, Nate and James
have stump remover,

and that's
98% saltpeter.

I figured that might be enough
to remove Kurt's stump
from her garden.

Who else knew
he was cheating?

Nobody.

- Unless her husband found out.
- [ Whispers ] Her husband.

Kurt Bessette was sleeping
with the church lady too.

- Do you think her husband
is capable of murder?
- Bob? No.

He's just a big dumbass nob
who thinks Verbena Court
is heaven.

That was before he knew
the neighbor was having sex with
both his wife and his daughter.

I don't care how big
of a dumbass Bob Sayles is.

He finds that out,
he's gonna wanna
kill her husband.

[ Booth Clears Throat ]

How did you find out
about me and Kurt?

O-Only the two of us knew,
and-- and Kurt's dead.

You were not the only person
that Kurt Bessette
was sleeping with.

You mean,
aside from his wife?

So I wasn't his only--

Who? Who else?

He was sleeping with
your daughter, Paige.

You can understand
why you're a suspect here.

Yes.

People kill
out of jealousy.

I guess it won't matter
if I deny it.

No, but you're not
our prime suspect.
You see, you have an alibi.

You were out biking
with James Perry
and Elliot Lindbergh.

So you think Kelly found out
and killed her own husband?

Paige?
My God. She's only 18.

You think my Bob found out
and killed Kurt.

[ Exhales ]

I found evidence of
a homogenous mixture of
oily and waxy long chain,

which are nonpolar
hydrocarbons in, uh, this
fracture of the skull.

Can't you just
say "lubricant"?
Isn't that much quicker?

Arastoo must be finished
looking at the minifractures
in that area.

Right? Where is he?

[ Without Accent ]
Sorry. Sorry. I just
finished morning prayers.

The skull fracture is located
high on the frontal bone,
right on the midline.

Whoa!

Who are you?

I don't have an accent.
I was faking it.

But I am devout.
I do pray five times a day.

Now, can we get back
to work, please?

[ Chuckling ]
Oh, no, definitely not.

How do we know you're
not faking this accent?Does Brennan know about this?

Yes. She doesn't care.

She doesn't care.

- The midline fractures--
- No, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no.

Arastoo, things
will go a lot faster
if you just explain.

When I speak as though I just
got off the boat, people accept
my religious convictions.

Plus, fewer terrorist jokes.

I don't know why.'Cause they're
afraid of you.

You are so gonna
pay for this.Yeah.

I have no doubt
that is true.

Now, this wound
has a distinctive
curve shape to it.

[ Saroyan ]
Well, it doesn't
look very severe.

Corresponding microfractures
to the posterior cranium...

indicate that Kurt was hit
while resting his head
on a hard surface.

So a weak blow
that was delivered when Kurt
was already on the ground.

There's a concrete base
on the wind turbine.

Bob Sayles
is a big, burly man.

- Yeah, but he's a decent guy.
- What does that have
to do with it?

Decent guys. They have a harder
time hittin' a guy when they're
already down on the ground.

So not a weak blow,
a halfhearted one.

This mark here could be
congruent with a golf club.

It's curved and metallic.
I could run up an image.

Most clubs have a brazing
composition to secure the
titanium alloy on the club head.

I can check on that.

So, a reciprocating saw,
a golf club with some lubricant.

That just leaves
the puncture weapon
unidentified.

It takes a village, Bones.Well, uh-- I beg your pardon?

A village.
To raise a kid properly,
it takes a village.

But metaphorically. It doesn't
mean we all must grow up in
hamlets of 800 people or less.

Thanks. Um, will you
be my village?Huh?

I need Parker to know
that I lead a full
and rewarding life.

But you don't.What? Yes, I do.

No, you don't.
You work too much.
You don't socialize.

All of which prevents you
from having a full sex life.

Okay. Please, let's just
take a hint from the suburbs
and just make it look good.

You want to know if I'll help
you fool your son into thinking
your life is gratifying?

- Yeah. Will you do it?
- Well, h-how?

Come to dinner with us.
Have fun. Laugh at my jokes.

That might actually
turn out to befun,

thus becoming
a self-fulfilling desire.

- Right. So, you'll do it?
- Yes.

I will be your hamlet
of 800 people or less.My village.

Well, I was being amusing.
You should laugh
at my jokes too.

I'm laughing,
on the inside.

So I just told Bob Sayles that
both his wife and daughter were
having sex with Kurt Bessette.

- Was he shocked?
- Yeah. And he wasn't faking it.

Well, you shouldn't say that
like it's a fact.

In my opinion,
his dismay was genuine.

However, it's difficult to say
whether the shock was due
to the sexual revelations...

or if we discovered information
he was keeping secret.

I appreciate
the distinction.Hold on to that for a second.

You do the best you can,
you know?

You go to work.
You bring home the bacon.
You raise a daughter.

Either of you
got daughters?Mm-mmm.

Well, that's the trip, man.
Daughters.

I was so worried about Paige and
that gardener kid, I didn't see
what was happening with Kurt.

But I mean, what do you do--
preach abstinence?

Doesn't work in Alaska.
Why would it work
on Verbena Court?

Did you suspect anything
about your wife?

I gotta confess.

If I'd have known any of that,
I'd have killed the son
of a bitch bare hands.

And there's not
a jury in this country that
would convict me either.

That is untrue.
They most certainly would
have convicted you.

- You don't have an alibi.
- I was home alone.

Sleepin' in after getting
that pig pit all dug
and ready and lit.

Why would Mary Kay
do this to me?

I've been a good husband,
good provider.

- I took two jobs.
- Two jobs?

We only have you down as
a C.P.A. for an airline.

Yeah, well, me and Kurt started
a side business on the Internet.

You and Kurt Bessette
had a business together?

Yep. It was goin' good too.

Can you continue
the business without him?

Nah. No way.
He was the entrepreneur.
I just handled the books.

What kind of business
was it?

The only kind
that's recession proof.

[ Garage Door Rolling Open ]

Sex toys.

Guy goes into the sex toy
business with another guy,

who commences to nail
his wife and daughter.

Probably using some
of the merchandise here
to double the fun, huh?

[ Whip Cracks ]

Bones, looks like
we found the lubricant.

Oh, my God.

Please tell me
this has something
to do with the case.

This comprises the contents
of the Sayles family garage.

Brennan asked me and Arastoo
to look for possible
murder weapons.

We did find the lube.
It's enough to make the whole
neighborhood smile.

And there's this.

- Well, that looks scary.
- Wasn't a golf club.

No brazing agent
or titanium.

Could it have been this?Oh! Ouch.

What about this lubricant?

No. It's not
the right lube.

Lubricant in the fracture
contains hexane, silicone,
mineral oil and propellant.

Same kind used
to lubricate
a bicycle chain.

I think I found the weapon.

This point matches
the puncture wound.

There's one of those signs
on every lawn
in the cul-de-sac.

Bob Sayles is the head of the
Neighborhood Watch. He's the one
that distributed the signs.

Huh. You're gonna need
to luminol every sign
on Verbena Court.

You're gonna tell me to stop
looking through all of this
stuff now, aren't you?

I'm afraid so.
I'll go tell Booth
about the lube.

Spoilsport. Finding
likely murder weapons
way too fast.

[ People Chattering ]

[ Brennan ]
Any blood, Hodgins?

[ Spraying ]

[ Booth ]
Nothin'?

- Booth.
- Yeah.

We're testing positive
for blood here.

Someone stabbed him
with his own sign.

Curved, metallic object
I thought might be a golf club?

- Her shoes.
- [ Booth ]
Silicon lubricant.

You kicked Kurt Bessette
in the head while he was
lying in the pebbles.

You were with James Perry
and Elliot Lindbergh
that morning.

The three of you each
gave him a separate blow.

Any one of you
could've taken the saw
from the gardener's truck.

[ Booth ]
And the sign from his lawn.We have alibis.

You're each other's alibis.

All three of you were together
at the time of death.

Your alibi just turned
into an anti-alibi.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa![ Grunts, Groans ]

- Take these three
into custody, please.
- [ Man ] Yes, sir.

- Got it. Hands
behind your back now.
- [ Grunts ]

Right now.
Let's go.

[ Handcuffs Ratcheting ]

Three separate
injuries to the body,
and three suspects.

Access to the luau pit.

The evidence indicates
that we caught
the murderers.

Yeah, I believe you did
catch the right people.

- Okay. Then what's
your problem?
- Motive.

James Perry was angry
that Kurt poisoned the dog.

Elliot Lindbergh
was ripped off for $5,000.

Right. My problem is
all these motives were
a long time cooking, right?

These weapons-- a sign,
the hedge trimmers,
kicking him--

all suggest heat of the moment,
right, not premeditation.

So you wanna know why they all
snapped at that precise moment.Yeah, yeah.

Now picture it. It's dawn.
Three cyclists are heading out.

They spot Kurt.
They approach him
for some reason.

They argue. And then,
with all this pent-up rage,
they attack.

One slice,
one jab, one kick.

They didn't know that he was
full of a blood thinner, that
he would die from the assault.

But why does this matter?
We already have the people
responsible.

'Cause it's knowledge,
Dr. Brennan.

It's insight into humans.
It's why I do what I do.

It's a good answer, Bones.

It was a good answer.
Fine.

Okay, Kurt must've violated
some ethos of the suburbs.

Like cheating on his wife
or ripping off his neighbors.

Those are all
accepted derivations
of the suburban ethos.

Cam said that
one of her neighbors had
his garage burned down...

for cutting his lawn
on the diagonal.

[ Windmill Squeaking,
Clattering ]

The windmill.It was
the last straw.

[ Sweets ] It's ugly,
makes a horrible sound,
destroys home value.

[ Booth ]
It's the diagonal lawn
of Verbena Court.

[ Liquid Pouring ]

Okay, this is
basically vodka...

with a very, very subtle
hint of pepper.

None for me.

Okay, it's technically
illegal moonshine,

but we are scientists
honing our craft.

- I don't drink alcohol.
- Okay. Let's have it.

Have what?

How do you balance
an archaic religious belief
with a life devoted to science?

This discussion is exactly
what I'd hoped to avoid.

- It's not our fault
you let the accent slip.
- [ Sighs ]

There's no conflict
between Allah and science.

Allah created
the mystery of the world,

and science struggles
and mostly fails
to explain it.

But the search for truth
is honorable, and I honor Allah
through the search for truth.

I get that. But what's with
the "kill the infidel" routine?

[ Chuckles ]
It's times like this
I wish I drank alcohol.

Well, "fight and slay
the unbeliever."

I prefer the other option,
which is to enslave
the unbeliever.

- It's a joke.
- Ha.

That was funny.

- Is this part done?
- Not quite. I have
one more question.

If you took the all-time
greatest Celtics players...

and put them against
the all-time greatest Lakers,
who would win?

Including the years when the
Lakers played in Minneapolis?
Definitely the Celtics.

I got one. Pit the all-time
greatest Christians against
the all-time greatest Muslims.

[ Angela Laughing ]

Oh, you just got smote.

Wow.

This is fun.
Isn't it fun?

Yes. I'm having fun.
Is he?

Bones, you can
ask him yourself.

Hey, are you having fun?

Milk shakes are fun,
and I'm having a milk shake,
so, yeah, I'm having fun.

That's an excellent
syllogism.

She thinks I'm silly?

- Wh-What's wrong?
- He needs a girlfriend.

Well, why doesn't he
have one?

I don't know. That's another
thing we can't talk about until
I have hair under my arms.

-What do you say we all go
bowling and get out of here?
-Couldn't you be his girlfriend?

Buddy, you really
gotta quit that.That would be inappropriate.

- Why?
- Because...

- we work together.
- That's a stupid reason.

Bones, I'm really not
comfortable with the questions
that you're asking.

Could you maybe trust me
for a second-- trust that
I can say the right thing?

In the time that I've been
with you, I've learned a lot
about how to deal with people.

Your father is very,
very good with people.

- Then why doesn't he
have a girlfriend?
- And we're off.

- Okay. All right.
- Can I ask you
a question?

Why do you think your father
needs a girlfriend so much?

Look, Bones,
there's a whole gender parent
dealy-bop thing going on here.

- You're just gonna confuse him.
- So I can have a pool.

He doesn't
sound confused.

- A pool?
- Lasky's dad got a pool
with his girlfriend.

Oh, you mean Lasky
with the, uh, third nostril?

Lasky's dad got a girlfriend.
Then they got married and moved
to a house with a pool.

Maybe if you got married, you'd
move to a house with a pool
that I could swim in.

Well, he seems extremely
clear on why he wants you
to get a girlfriend.

I don't know why
you didn't just ask him.

So, the only reason you wanted
me to get a girlfriend was so
that you could have a pool.

Mm-hmm.
Why else would I care?

There is a pool
in my building...

- that the two of you can use,
as my guests anytime.
- Ah.

- Awesome.
That's awesome, right, Dad?
- No, not awesome.

Simple Socratic method
of solving a problem.Nope.

Mm-mmm. Parker's right.
You're awesome, Bones.

Yeah. I'm awesome.

Cheers.

[ No Audible Dialogue ]

What's that mean?