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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:33,291 --> 00:00:34,250 Blondot? 2 00:00:35,208 --> 00:00:36,500 Gervais Blondot? 3 00:00:36,875 --> 00:00:38,500 Are you receiving me? 4 00:00:38,666 --> 00:00:40,083 Hello? Yes, sorry. 5 00:00:40,875 --> 00:00:43,666 -Gervais here. Terrible reception. -I got the image. 6 00:00:43,833 --> 00:00:45,125 It must be the bark. 7 00:00:45,291 --> 00:00:46,833 It was your idea, Blondot! 8 00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:47,875 That's better. 9 00:00:48,041 --> 00:00:49,791 I'm gonna nail him this time. 10 00:00:49,958 --> 00:00:51,416 Shut up. Are you ready? 11 00:00:51,583 --> 00:00:53,291 I'm in position. I'm ready. 12 00:00:55,083 --> 00:00:56,916 -Here he comes. -Don't move. 13 00:01:08,291 --> 00:01:09,666 He's right there! 14 00:01:09,833 --> 00:01:12,250 He just passed by, one meter from me. 15 00:01:16,791 --> 00:01:19,708 He's crossing the street. Did you hear me? 16 00:01:20,791 --> 00:01:22,500 He's going to the ATM. 17 00:01:32,750 --> 00:01:34,166 He'll never spot me. 18 00:01:34,333 --> 00:01:36,958 We did tests, no one spotted me. 19 00:01:37,125 --> 00:01:39,208 -What are you up to? -Beat it! 20 00:01:39,375 --> 00:01:40,875 Who the hell was that? 21 00:01:41,041 --> 00:01:43,833 I asked you to secure the area! Damn it! 22 00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:46,083 Quiet down! You'll give us away. 23 00:01:46,250 --> 00:01:47,708 He's coming your way. 24 00:01:47,875 --> 00:01:49,958 He's coming. Mayday! 25 00:01:50,125 --> 00:01:51,958 The flap's stuck. 26 00:01:54,791 --> 00:01:56,916 He didn't spot me. 27 00:02:03,708 --> 00:02:05,541 He threw something at me. 28 00:02:10,041 --> 00:02:13,000 -He's smoked me out! -He spotted you? 29 00:02:13,166 --> 00:02:15,458 He set me on fire! I'm burning! 30 00:02:15,625 --> 00:02:16,958 So you are. 31 00:02:18,041 --> 00:02:20,166 Tough it out, Blondot. 32 00:02:20,333 --> 00:02:21,333 It won't go out! 33 00:02:22,791 --> 00:02:25,625 It's no joke. I'm on fire! 34 00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:56,166 He's a mega-crackpot! I'm going in! 35 00:03:13,625 --> 00:03:15,833 Police! Stop that truck! 36 00:03:21,208 --> 00:03:22,666 Holy shit! 37 00:03:28,625 --> 00:03:30,250 -Move! -Out the way! 38 00:03:30,416 --> 00:03:32,666 Let the pineapple through! 39 00:03:32,833 --> 00:03:33,875 Curtis! 40 00:03:35,083 --> 00:03:36,708 Let me through! Move! 41 00:03:36,875 --> 00:03:38,375 Scram, bitch! 42 00:03:38,541 --> 00:03:40,166 Curtis, pull over! 43 00:03:48,958 --> 00:03:50,041 What's he doing there? 44 00:03:56,625 --> 00:03:58,291 Stop that truck! 45 00:04:10,458 --> 00:04:11,833 We're good! 46 00:04:15,291 --> 00:04:17,833 Keep your hat on, the sun's strong. 47 00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:19,291 Keep it straight. 48 00:04:19,458 --> 00:04:21,583 When we get home, I'll massage you. 49 00:04:21,750 --> 00:04:23,750 Move it! Move it! 50 00:04:30,541 --> 00:04:32,041 Sorry! Keep going! 51 00:04:32,208 --> 00:04:33,208 Go, Michel! 52 00:04:44,208 --> 00:04:45,500 That's nifty parking. 53 00:04:50,250 --> 00:04:51,208 Jeez! 54 00:04:51,375 --> 00:04:53,166 What a buzz! 55 00:04:53,333 --> 00:04:55,458 That's what I call a heist! 56 00:04:57,375 --> 00:04:58,833 That's bank property! 57 00:04:59,000 --> 00:05:01,041 Police! Dammit! 58 00:05:01,208 --> 00:05:03,583 Hey, the boy scout, hand it over! 59 00:05:03,750 --> 00:05:05,458 Let go! 60 00:05:05,625 --> 00:05:06,750 It's mine! 61 00:05:06,916 --> 00:05:09,125 Scout's honor! 62 00:05:10,625 --> 00:05:12,250 Put that money down! 63 00:05:12,416 --> 00:05:14,875 It belongs to the Bank of France. 64 00:05:15,458 --> 00:05:17,833 You'll be charged as accomplices. 65 00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:19,250 Help yourselves! 66 00:05:20,250 --> 00:05:21,666 Awesome! 67 00:05:21,833 --> 00:05:23,041 That's the best yet! 68 00:05:30,125 --> 00:05:32,458 KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK! CURTIS 69 00:05:37,541 --> 00:05:38,583 It's Gervais! 70 00:05:40,166 --> 00:05:42,291 I lobbied hard to get plasmas. 71 00:05:43,958 --> 00:05:45,791 They're touchscreens. No, they're not. 72 00:05:45,958 --> 00:05:47,583 I asked for touchscreens. 73 00:05:47,750 --> 00:05:50,708 Call this Philip guy and get him to change them. 74 00:05:51,208 --> 00:05:53,250 They make our image more modern. 75 00:05:53,416 --> 00:05:55,250 That's why I'm a captain. 76 00:05:55,416 --> 00:05:57,458 How old would you say I am? Twenty-six? Twenty-seven? 77 00:05:57,625 --> 00:05:59,208 Share the joke? 78 00:05:59,375 --> 00:06:01,041 Absolutely, boss. 79 00:06:01,750 --> 00:06:05,375 That's good. It's witty. Photographic humor. 80 00:06:08,083 --> 00:06:09,166 Cigarette? 81 00:06:10,875 --> 00:06:11,791 Coffee? 82 00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:16,666 So, you cutie pie punk, 83 00:06:16,833 --> 00:06:19,291 you thought you'd make a fool of me? 84 00:06:20,041 --> 00:06:21,791 You had a good laugh, huh? 85 00:06:21,958 --> 00:06:24,250 Nobody laughs at Big Gervais. 86 00:06:24,416 --> 00:06:26,750 I had my eye on you all the time. 87 00:06:28,916 --> 00:06:30,916 Dream on, I'm too fast for you. 88 00:06:36,666 --> 00:06:38,958 C'mon, tell me why you did it. 89 00:06:39,666 --> 00:06:40,958 To eat? 90 00:06:41,416 --> 00:06:43,958 Poor diddums, he's hungry? 91 00:06:44,125 --> 00:06:46,333 Mommy, not food in flidge... 92 00:06:46,500 --> 00:06:48,333 I don't give a shit! 93 00:06:48,500 --> 00:06:52,083 It's not my problem. Here, in France, you pay for stuff! 94 00:06:53,375 --> 00:06:55,541 In French francs! 95 00:06:55,708 --> 00:06:57,208 In euros! 96 00:07:03,291 --> 00:07:04,875 Can I go now, officer? 97 00:07:05,041 --> 00:07:07,500 Don't give me any of your cutesy crap. 98 00:07:07,666 --> 00:07:09,583 Hey, Gervais, we were worried. 99 00:07:09,750 --> 00:07:11,166 You got on your feet? 100 00:07:15,083 --> 00:07:16,583 Complete idiots, these people. 101 00:07:16,750 --> 00:07:19,083 Pathetic little children! 102 00:07:21,916 --> 00:07:23,583 What's holding me back? 103 00:07:23,750 --> 00:07:25,250 Let me teach you a lesson. 104 00:07:25,666 --> 00:07:27,291 See him? That's Curtis. 105 00:07:27,458 --> 00:07:30,208 He started out stealing sausages. 106 00:07:30,375 --> 00:07:32,458 Merguez sausages. His first conviction was... 107 00:07:32,625 --> 00:07:34,250 Armed robbery. No kidding? 108 00:07:34,416 --> 00:07:38,291 But apparently there were traces 109 00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:40,541 of merguez in his sandwich. 110 00:07:40,708 --> 00:07:43,208 So, bit of merguez equals sausage theft 111 00:07:43,375 --> 00:07:44,541 equals prison. 112 00:07:44,708 --> 00:07:46,125 Got that, Chang-Chang? 113 00:07:49,416 --> 00:07:50,500 Go on... 114 00:07:51,083 --> 00:07:51,958 Get lost! 115 00:07:52,125 --> 00:07:53,791 Thank you, officer. 116 00:07:59,791 --> 00:08:01,333 How do they see anything? 117 00:08:02,708 --> 00:08:04,083 Fifty-seven thousand. 118 00:08:05,541 --> 00:08:08,166 Of course, it has a certificate of authenticity? 119 00:08:08,333 --> 00:08:09,583 Absolutely. 120 00:08:09,750 --> 00:08:12,250 Every piece is examined by Mr. Shamme, 121 00:08:12,416 --> 00:08:14,916 the expert at Drouot auction rooms. 122 00:08:17,583 --> 00:08:21,833 I'll think it over and call you back this afternoon. 123 00:08:26,625 --> 00:08:28,833 -Have a good day, sir. -Madam. 124 00:08:30,208 --> 00:08:32,875 What got into you? Are you a complete idiot? 125 00:08:33,041 --> 00:08:35,333 "Mr. Shamme"? You must be kidding. 126 00:08:35,500 --> 00:08:38,375 I mean, "What a Shamme, it's a fake!" 127 00:08:39,708 --> 00:08:41,041 What have you got for me? 128 00:08:41,208 --> 00:08:42,833 Six magnificent tickers! 129 00:08:43,500 --> 00:08:44,875 These are the real deal. 130 00:08:45,541 --> 00:08:46,708 Top quality. 131 00:08:47,166 --> 00:08:49,000 The finest watchmakers. 132 00:08:53,375 --> 00:08:54,291 One thousand. 133 00:08:54,458 --> 00:08:57,250 -What? They're worth ten times more. -Not at all. 134 00:08:57,416 --> 00:08:58,416 -Yes at all. -Bye at all. 135 00:08:58,583 --> 00:09:01,125 No, not bye. I mean, okay. 136 00:09:01,583 --> 00:09:02,750 And dinner? 137 00:09:07,041 --> 00:09:09,083 Just you and me, one on one, 138 00:09:09,250 --> 00:09:11,375 at the Casa di Fettucine. Tonight. 139 00:09:11,541 --> 00:09:13,041 Tonight, I'm busy. 140 00:09:13,625 --> 00:09:14,958 What a Shamme! 141 00:09:20,666 --> 00:09:21,541 Tomorrow? 142 00:09:21,708 --> 00:09:26,416 If you're still alive. The Bouglioni brothers are after you. 143 00:09:27,583 --> 00:09:30,875 No way! I told them Monday. It's not Monday. 144 00:09:31,041 --> 00:09:32,750 It's not the money anymore. 145 00:09:34,458 --> 00:09:36,666 The Bouglioni brothers could be joking. 146 00:09:36,833 --> 00:09:38,541 They're a family of jokers. 147 00:09:38,708 --> 00:09:41,208 Hold on, could I have my money? 148 00:09:41,750 --> 00:09:44,500 I have to go to the bank. I'll have it later. 149 00:09:44,666 --> 00:09:47,916 I'll be at Hotel Capucine, Rue Capron. Room nine. 150 00:09:48,083 --> 00:09:49,333 Ice the champagne. 151 00:09:58,750 --> 00:09:59,958 Perfect. 152 00:10:00,875 --> 00:10:03,333 What's the Bouglionis' beef with me? 153 00:10:06,041 --> 00:10:08,958 Such fun, standing by the window all day... 154 00:10:09,125 --> 00:10:13,166 Such fun, standing by the window all day... 155 00:10:13,333 --> 00:10:15,250 Such fun, standing by... 156 00:10:15,416 --> 00:10:18,708 So, it's Hotel Capucine, Rue Capron? 157 00:10:18,875 --> 00:10:20,416 What's with you? 158 00:10:21,958 --> 00:10:23,791 I'm looking... 159 00:10:25,208 --> 00:10:26,666 Sorry... 160 00:10:28,083 --> 00:10:29,958 It's too big! 161 00:10:30,125 --> 00:10:31,666 Give me some room. 162 00:10:33,333 --> 00:10:34,916 That's better. 163 00:10:35,291 --> 00:10:36,458 Sorry! 164 00:10:39,125 --> 00:10:40,000 Wrong way up. 165 00:10:43,083 --> 00:10:44,458 We been here already. 166 00:10:44,625 --> 00:10:46,250 Turn right. 167 00:10:49,291 --> 00:10:50,916 Even if I say "straight ahead", 168 00:10:51,083 --> 00:10:53,416 you watch my hand. Follow my hand! 169 00:10:53,583 --> 00:10:55,250 Get it out of my face! 170 00:10:55,416 --> 00:10:57,541 -Follow my hand! -Shit! 171 00:10:57,708 --> 00:10:59,250 -Where's the map? -We're lost. 172 00:10:59,416 --> 00:11:01,458 He threw the map out the window! 173 00:11:01,625 --> 00:11:04,291 We already been this way. 174 00:11:06,375 --> 00:11:07,541 I give the directions. 175 00:11:07,708 --> 00:11:10,958 If he doesn't follow, we'll go wrong. 176 00:11:11,125 --> 00:11:13,291 He has to follow them! 177 00:11:13,458 --> 00:11:16,583 He has to start by listening. You've got to listen! 178 00:11:17,166 --> 00:11:18,250 I give up! 179 00:11:19,041 --> 00:11:21,083 C'mon, Claudine! 180 00:11:23,583 --> 00:11:25,833 Come on! Come on! 181 00:11:35,625 --> 00:11:37,833 Go, Gervais, go! 182 00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:39,666 Go, Gervais, go! 183 00:11:42,583 --> 00:11:43,541 Stop, Gervais. 184 00:11:46,375 --> 00:11:47,750 Please, stop. 185 00:11:48,500 --> 00:11:50,625 Go easy, Gervais. 186 00:12:01,250 --> 00:12:02,125 Easy... 187 00:12:03,708 --> 00:12:04,583 It's stuck. 188 00:12:04,750 --> 00:12:07,500 You've fucked the ice. The sheet's unplayable. 189 00:12:07,666 --> 00:12:10,625 You douchebag! You're a criminal. Look at that. 190 00:12:10,791 --> 00:12:12,125 Hold on... 191 00:12:12,291 --> 00:12:14,041 I won't. You make me sick! 192 00:12:14,500 --> 00:12:16,166 I've got the rules here, 193 00:12:16,333 --> 00:12:18,875 which say that the home team 194 00:12:19,041 --> 00:12:22,291 "must provide a rink in perfect condition..." 195 00:12:22,458 --> 00:12:23,458 It was! 196 00:12:23,625 --> 00:12:24,958 Not anymore, I'm sorry. 197 00:12:25,125 --> 00:12:30,083 "If not, the score on the board shall be considered final." 198 00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:32,458 Five-four to us! 199 00:12:32,625 --> 00:12:33,791 You make me sick! 200 00:12:34,375 --> 00:12:35,500 Douchebag! 201 00:12:35,666 --> 00:12:37,791 Five-four! Five! 202 00:12:37,958 --> 00:12:40,041 Five-four to us! 203 00:12:40,208 --> 00:12:42,500 The Alglaglas can stick it up their... 204 00:12:42,666 --> 00:12:44,500 We got five! 205 00:12:44,750 --> 00:12:46,791 We've got five to four! 206 00:12:47,125 --> 00:12:49,750 Five, four, four, four... 207 00:12:49,916 --> 00:12:51,833 The Committee will hear of this! 208 00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:54,000 Now I'm sure, it's straight ahead. 209 00:12:54,166 --> 00:12:56,083 Keep going straight. 210 00:12:56,416 --> 00:12:58,083 That's right. 211 00:13:02,666 --> 00:13:03,875 Okay... 212 00:13:04,500 --> 00:13:08,250 No, it's not here. I got it wrong. 213 00:13:08,416 --> 00:13:11,208 Sorry about that. You get it wrong too sometimes. 214 00:13:11,375 --> 00:13:12,250 All of you do. 215 00:13:12,416 --> 00:13:15,041 -I give up. -We're in the right direction. 216 00:13:15,208 --> 00:13:18,916 It's with great pride that I accept the Idi Amin trophy, 217 00:13:19,083 --> 00:13:22,208 having beaten Asnières for the fifth time. 218 00:13:24,791 --> 00:13:26,416 You've got a nerve! Cheat! 219 00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:29,625 Twenty years I've been curling 220 00:13:29,791 --> 00:13:32,583 and 20 years I've respected the rules. 221 00:13:32,750 --> 00:13:36,291 Respect for the rules is respect for ourselves and life! 222 00:13:36,875 --> 00:13:39,416 Curl for life! That should mean something. 223 00:13:39,916 --> 00:13:42,166 If you're not happy, beat it! 224 00:13:43,250 --> 00:13:44,750 Not you! 225 00:13:47,500 --> 00:13:49,958 -You're marrying a criminal. -What? 226 00:13:50,125 --> 00:13:53,125 At least, my wife hasn't left me because I'm a wino! 227 00:13:57,333 --> 00:13:58,250 What? 228 00:13:58,416 --> 00:14:01,041 He was drunk and she walked out on him. 229 00:14:01,750 --> 00:14:03,708 His son committed suicide. 230 00:14:04,458 --> 00:14:05,958 Hanging from a cellar. 231 00:14:07,458 --> 00:14:09,541 He'd melt ice with his breath. 232 00:14:10,750 --> 00:14:12,125 There you are, sir. 233 00:14:12,291 --> 00:14:14,458 -But I ordered fries. -Those are fries. 234 00:14:14,625 --> 00:14:16,791 -No, that's pasta. -They're fries, sir. 235 00:14:16,958 --> 00:14:20,083 -Don't bullshit me. It's pasta. -They're fries. 236 00:14:21,958 --> 00:14:24,250 I've been a waiter ten years. They're fries. 237 00:14:24,416 --> 00:14:26,416 -What's that then? -Water, sir. 238 00:14:26,583 --> 00:14:29,500 You think I'm an idiot? I can tell pasta from... 239 00:14:32,958 --> 00:14:35,333 Jeez! 240 00:14:36,750 --> 00:14:38,875 I must have said Saturday. 241 00:14:39,791 --> 00:14:41,458 Yes, I'm two days late. 242 00:14:41,625 --> 00:14:43,708 A message for the cheat. 243 00:14:44,500 --> 00:14:48,583 Please bring the mic back before we close the rink. 244 00:14:52,083 --> 00:14:54,708 I'm sorry. I was a bit mean, 245 00:14:54,875 --> 00:14:56,875 but rules are rules. 246 00:14:57,041 --> 00:15:00,875 You can't use what he told us in private against him. 247 00:15:01,041 --> 00:15:03,875 By revealing his drink problem, he trusted us. 248 00:15:04,041 --> 00:15:06,416 I trusted him when I gave him my cup. 249 00:15:06,583 --> 00:15:07,791 He broke it... 250 00:15:07,958 --> 00:15:08,833 Sorry. 251 00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:11,375 You're obsessed with your silly cup! 252 00:15:11,541 --> 00:15:14,041 -Stop it. -We're getting married tomorrow. 253 00:15:14,541 --> 00:15:16,666 Don't you think I'd prefer to hear 254 00:15:16,833 --> 00:15:19,333 that it'll be the best day of your life? 255 00:15:20,333 --> 00:15:22,916 -Sure... -I haven't finished! 256 00:15:24,083 --> 00:15:25,333 I'm warning you. 257 00:15:25,500 --> 00:15:28,791 You'll be sitting next to Aunt Janine. If I hear 258 00:15:28,958 --> 00:15:31,500 you utter the idiotic name "Curtis", 259 00:15:31,666 --> 00:15:34,666 you'll be eating chicken nuggets at the kiddies' table! 260 00:15:34,833 --> 00:15:35,708 What? 261 00:15:35,875 --> 00:15:38,750 I won't let your incompetence ruin my wedding! 262 00:15:38,916 --> 00:15:40,958 Yesterday, I was this close... 263 00:15:41,125 --> 00:15:44,625 Be quiet! Face it, you'll never catch him! 264 00:15:44,791 --> 00:15:46,708 Get the idea out of your head. 265 00:15:47,833 --> 00:15:51,083 Anyways, I love you and can't wait to be at the altar. 266 00:15:53,041 --> 00:15:55,458 Me, too. I love you, too. 267 00:15:58,416 --> 00:15:59,750 You know very well. 268 00:16:00,250 --> 00:16:01,750 Not before we're married. 269 00:16:01,916 --> 00:16:03,666 That's right. 270 00:16:04,083 --> 00:16:05,541 I can't wait. 271 00:16:09,333 --> 00:16:12,541 See how I rubbed that rink? Just think how I... 272 00:16:14,083 --> 00:16:16,125 We'll see who's incompetent. 273 00:16:17,875 --> 00:16:19,625 I'm gonna nail you, Curtis. 274 00:16:20,125 --> 00:16:21,458 I'll nail him! 275 00:16:24,791 --> 00:16:25,791 Right... 276 00:16:27,666 --> 00:16:29,083 His most recent... 277 00:16:29,375 --> 00:16:30,666 Yo! Shut up! 278 00:16:30,833 --> 00:16:32,833 His most recent movements reveal 279 00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:36,458 that he stole the ATM on Boulevard Haussmann 280 00:16:36,625 --> 00:16:39,375 and dumped it on Place de l'Opéra. 281 00:16:42,333 --> 00:16:44,708 Boulevard Haussmann, Opéra... 282 00:16:46,666 --> 00:16:48,541 Haussmannéra... 283 00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:53,291 Connemara... 284 00:16:57,416 --> 00:16:58,583 Camera... 285 00:17:01,083 --> 00:17:02,083 Hi-fi... 286 00:17:02,833 --> 00:17:05,250 Fnac! The store! 287 00:17:05,416 --> 00:17:08,208 He's going to hold up the Fnac store! 288 00:17:09,625 --> 00:17:11,750 He's going to hold up the Fnac store. 289 00:17:11,916 --> 00:17:14,958 Boy, I'm good! The noose is tightening. 290 00:17:15,500 --> 00:17:16,375 You're trapped. 291 00:17:16,541 --> 00:17:17,916 Not now! 292 00:17:18,500 --> 00:17:19,541 Self-control. 293 00:17:22,208 --> 00:17:23,500 The jab. 294 00:17:25,500 --> 00:17:26,708 No, not now. 295 00:17:26,875 --> 00:17:28,583 Genius! I know where he is! 296 00:17:28,750 --> 00:17:29,708 Xavier! 297 00:17:32,041 --> 00:17:33,250 Open up! 298 00:17:33,416 --> 00:17:35,416 Daddy's not in. 299 00:17:35,583 --> 00:17:36,500 He's dead. 300 00:17:36,666 --> 00:17:38,166 It's me, Gervais! 301 00:17:38,333 --> 00:17:39,541 Open up! 302 00:17:39,708 --> 00:17:42,416 -Are you alone? -Stop that! 303 00:17:44,291 --> 00:17:46,500 I thought you were from Social Services. 304 00:17:46,666 --> 00:17:48,375 Can you do my jab? 305 00:17:48,541 --> 00:17:49,958 I'll be right there. 306 00:17:52,416 --> 00:17:53,916 No... 307 00:17:58,583 --> 00:18:00,041 Itchy! 308 00:18:05,500 --> 00:18:07,125 Daddy's not in. 309 00:18:07,291 --> 00:18:08,583 It's me! 310 00:18:08,958 --> 00:18:09,916 Again! 311 00:18:10,083 --> 00:18:11,416 He's dead. 312 00:18:12,083 --> 00:18:13,375 Xavier. 313 00:18:17,333 --> 00:18:18,250 Concierge! 314 00:18:19,458 --> 00:18:22,791 You have to learn to do your jabs yourself. 315 00:18:22,958 --> 00:18:24,750 I won't always be around for you. 316 00:18:24,916 --> 00:18:26,458 I know... 317 00:18:27,375 --> 00:18:30,000 Look, you live next door, you're my neighbor, 318 00:18:30,166 --> 00:18:33,166 you're on welfare and I pay half your rent. 319 00:18:33,333 --> 00:18:35,250 You're not going anywhere, huh? 320 00:18:35,416 --> 00:18:37,250 You still have to learn. 321 00:18:37,416 --> 00:18:39,250 You have concentration issues. 322 00:18:39,416 --> 00:18:41,500 You remember when I had a dog? 323 00:18:42,416 --> 00:18:45,166 I taught him a word a day. 324 00:18:45,666 --> 00:18:49,666 One day, somebody rang the doorbell. 325 00:18:49,833 --> 00:18:52,041 I was sitting here. The dog sat up 326 00:18:52,208 --> 00:18:55,791 and just like that, he said "Doorbell!" 327 00:18:56,416 --> 00:18:57,500 Really? 328 00:18:57,666 --> 00:18:59,250 He'd heard the doorbell. 329 00:19:04,958 --> 00:19:07,083 Xavier, you never had a dog. 330 00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:11,625 You can only say stuff like that to me. 331 00:19:11,791 --> 00:19:12,666 Okay. 332 00:19:12,833 --> 00:19:14,708 -Right? -Right. 333 00:19:17,208 --> 00:19:19,500 Hi, it's Curtis. What was I going to say? 334 00:19:19,666 --> 00:19:22,500 I know. I got the Bouglionis' message 335 00:19:22,666 --> 00:19:25,791 that you couldn't make our date. I mean... 336 00:19:25,958 --> 00:19:29,500 You didn't have to bother them. You could've texted me. 337 00:19:29,666 --> 00:19:31,708 -That would've been fine. -Hello. 338 00:19:33,083 --> 00:19:34,416 I'm glad you called. 339 00:19:34,583 --> 00:19:38,375 I just spoke to the Bouglionis. They think they smoked you. 340 00:19:38,541 --> 00:19:40,333 I can tell them they're wrong. 341 00:19:40,500 --> 00:19:42,583 -Sure, but... - What? 342 00:19:43,416 --> 00:19:45,750 Well, the two of us. 343 00:19:46,416 --> 00:19:47,291 Yes? 344 00:19:48,291 --> 00:19:52,083 Your eyes meeting mine. I mean, we're on the same page... 345 00:19:52,250 --> 00:19:53,791 It's pretty obvious. 346 00:19:53,958 --> 00:19:55,750 The start of something... 347 00:19:56,541 --> 00:19:57,916 No, don't. 348 00:19:58,083 --> 00:20:01,333 The connection, our eyes meeting... Straight up, 349 00:20:01,500 --> 00:20:03,208 we've got something. 350 00:20:05,875 --> 00:20:06,875 Hello? 351 00:20:13,666 --> 00:20:15,125 RUN FAR AWAY 352 00:20:16,666 --> 00:20:18,333 BIG TROUBLE 353 00:20:19,375 --> 00:20:20,750 START A NEW LIFE 354 00:20:22,375 --> 00:20:24,041 Why'd I buy that? 355 00:20:26,208 --> 00:20:28,083 That sucks. 356 00:20:29,416 --> 00:20:31,291 I must've been drunk! 357 00:20:34,166 --> 00:20:37,375 Curtis will walk straight into my trap. 358 00:20:38,250 --> 00:20:39,833 What's more... 359 00:20:40,666 --> 00:20:43,958 tonight, with the pep pills and flask of coffee, 360 00:20:44,125 --> 00:20:46,166 I'm smoking! 361 00:20:56,416 --> 00:20:57,625 I don't believe it. 362 00:20:57,791 --> 00:20:59,375 Doofus is here. 363 00:21:01,666 --> 00:21:05,291 It's gonna be a wonderful day. Please, this is fine. 364 00:21:16,625 --> 00:21:18,791 C'mon, Gervais, your morning run! 365 00:21:21,291 --> 00:21:22,333 Police! 366 00:21:24,750 --> 00:21:26,291 He's an outlaw! 367 00:21:26,458 --> 00:21:27,833 Scram! 368 00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:29,583 Excuse me, move! 369 00:21:33,791 --> 00:21:36,333 -What? -What are you doing? 370 00:21:39,916 --> 00:21:41,375 Alright, go. 371 00:21:45,500 --> 00:21:46,666 Move! 372 00:21:46,833 --> 00:21:49,375 The garbage guy's gone crazy! 373 00:21:53,166 --> 00:21:54,041 Don't give a shit! 374 00:21:55,916 --> 00:21:58,250 I told you to move! 375 00:21:59,708 --> 00:22:02,000 Stop, Curtis! 376 00:22:02,166 --> 00:22:03,583 Stop! 377 00:22:03,750 --> 00:22:05,916 -Leave me alone! -Halt right there! 378 00:22:06,083 --> 00:22:07,500 Stop! 379 00:22:08,916 --> 00:22:10,250 What are you doing? 380 00:22:11,166 --> 00:22:12,041 Shut up! 381 00:22:12,208 --> 00:22:15,416 Why's he walk leaning backward? Why are you fat? 382 00:22:15,583 --> 00:22:16,833 Shut the hell up! 383 00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:18,041 Go on, shoot! 384 00:22:20,708 --> 00:22:24,416 Why you got a gun? You got attacked by a trash can? 385 00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:28,125 Stop! Stop him! 386 00:22:32,041 --> 00:22:33,250 Leave me alone! 387 00:22:35,333 --> 00:22:36,625 Police! 388 00:23:07,583 --> 00:23:08,583 Curtis? 389 00:23:23,416 --> 00:23:24,875 What is this? 390 00:23:38,791 --> 00:23:40,166 What's going on? 391 00:23:50,416 --> 00:23:52,083 What the heck! 392 00:24:04,791 --> 00:24:06,791 This isn't funny. 393 00:24:08,333 --> 00:24:09,958 There's something wrong. 394 00:24:20,916 --> 00:24:22,041 This is stupid. 395 00:24:23,250 --> 00:24:24,708 Seriously! 396 00:24:34,541 --> 00:24:36,458 This is the Champs-Elysées! 397 00:24:53,416 --> 00:24:54,333 McDonald? 398 00:24:58,291 --> 00:25:01,166 The McDonalds have moved. They've gone. 399 00:25:08,250 --> 00:25:10,583 Cupcake, it's me. 400 00:25:10,750 --> 00:25:14,166 Avoid the Champs-Elysées, it's a total lockdown. 401 00:25:14,333 --> 00:25:16,083 God knows what they're doing. 402 00:25:16,250 --> 00:25:18,625 I didn't even hear about it at HQ. 403 00:25:18,791 --> 00:25:22,083 I can't wait to see you at the altar later. 404 00:25:22,250 --> 00:25:23,833 I hope it's mutual. 405 00:25:43,166 --> 00:25:44,416 Xavier! 406 00:25:44,583 --> 00:25:46,916 You have the wedding rings. 407 00:25:47,083 --> 00:25:50,583 Stop acting dumb! I'll have to knock down the door. 408 00:25:51,375 --> 00:25:52,458 Fine! 409 00:26:01,625 --> 00:26:02,875 Juliette! 410 00:26:03,958 --> 00:26:06,708 Sorry, I'm a policeman. I know all the tricks. 411 00:26:15,458 --> 00:26:17,333 Open! 412 00:26:20,250 --> 00:26:21,875 Juliette! 413 00:26:37,833 --> 00:26:40,291 Good evening, Mrs. Abbababa, 414 00:26:41,041 --> 00:26:44,791 this is Inspector Gervais Blondot. I'd like to know... 415 00:26:45,416 --> 00:26:47,541 This may sound strange. 416 00:26:47,708 --> 00:26:49,666 ... if you're there? 417 00:26:52,375 --> 00:26:53,375 Hello? 418 00:26:55,291 --> 00:26:56,500 Fine. 419 00:26:58,750 --> 00:27:01,500 Please call Inspector Blondot as soon as you can. 420 00:27:08,875 --> 00:27:12,000 Good evening, Mr. Aggaga, I'm calling you 421 00:27:12,166 --> 00:27:16,375 with regard to lots of people's simultaneous disappearance. 422 00:27:16,541 --> 00:27:20,500 Please call when you get back from your absence. 423 00:27:25,291 --> 00:27:26,958 Good evening, 424 00:27:27,125 --> 00:27:28,291 Mr. Ababoubou. 425 00:27:28,458 --> 00:27:29,541 Sorry... 426 00:27:30,208 --> 00:27:31,583 This is Inspector 427 00:27:31,750 --> 00:27:34,291 Gervais Blondot from the first precinct. 428 00:27:34,458 --> 00:27:37,000 Please call me as soon as you're back 429 00:27:37,166 --> 00:27:40,583 from this absence phenomenon. 430 00:27:41,666 --> 00:27:43,125 That's so rude! 431 00:27:45,291 --> 00:27:46,291 Good evening... 432 00:27:46,458 --> 00:27:48,083 There are always people here! 433 00:27:51,166 --> 00:27:52,250 Lots of Arabs. 434 00:27:52,416 --> 00:27:54,291 Where are you, Arab people? 435 00:27:56,708 --> 00:28:00,291 The Arabs and the Blacks! Have you all gone home? 436 00:28:07,666 --> 00:28:11,666 Please call me urgently if you're here. 437 00:28:11,833 --> 00:28:14,000 C'mon! 438 00:28:14,166 --> 00:28:16,666 Good evening, Mrs. A. Benamar... 439 00:28:17,833 --> 00:28:18,708 This is... 440 00:28:18,875 --> 00:28:22,666 You should know you're not alone. I'm alone, too. 441 00:28:22,833 --> 00:28:25,875 If there's two of you, we can be three. 442 00:28:26,333 --> 00:28:28,875 There's strength in numbers! 443 00:28:29,500 --> 00:28:31,583 No reply from the A. Benamars. 444 00:28:39,500 --> 00:28:42,708 Police! Come out of your hiding places! 445 00:28:56,875 --> 00:28:57,916 Jean-Pierre? 446 00:28:58,083 --> 00:28:59,541 Speak to me! 447 00:29:03,708 --> 00:29:04,958 Jean-Pierre! 448 00:29:20,958 --> 00:29:22,416 Calling all... 449 00:29:25,208 --> 00:29:26,458 Paris! 450 00:29:30,250 --> 00:29:31,458 It's all gone quiet! 451 00:29:32,375 --> 00:29:33,500 Paris! 452 00:29:35,541 --> 00:29:37,416 It's all gone quiet! 453 00:29:42,625 --> 00:29:44,541 Good evening, 454 00:29:44,708 --> 00:29:46,000 Mr. Zrivo... 455 00:29:47,083 --> 00:29:48,666 Zryvecowski! It's not hard. 456 00:29:48,833 --> 00:29:51,166 Yes! Zibodibiski! 457 00:29:52,708 --> 00:29:54,458 Are you some joker? 458 00:29:54,625 --> 00:29:55,875 I'll hang up. 459 00:29:56,041 --> 00:29:57,541 No! Don't! 460 00:29:57,708 --> 00:30:00,916 Just kidding! Talk after the beep, suckers! 461 00:30:05,916 --> 00:30:09,250 Sick of people and their dumbass messages! 462 00:30:09,416 --> 00:30:12,416 Zissorkivich, you're not funny! 463 00:30:14,708 --> 00:30:16,500 That one's done. 464 00:30:21,750 --> 00:30:22,916 Cupcake, 465 00:30:23,083 --> 00:30:25,333 I'm starting to believe the Greek poet 466 00:30:25,500 --> 00:30:27,666 who said that one missing person 467 00:30:27,833 --> 00:30:29,916 makes the world seem empty. 468 00:30:30,083 --> 00:30:31,000 There! 469 00:30:31,458 --> 00:30:35,000 I've left the sum of 35 euros. 470 00:30:35,166 --> 00:30:38,083 Where are you all? I don't get this. 471 00:30:38,833 --> 00:30:39,958 There, Juliette. 472 00:30:40,875 --> 00:30:43,416 I love you, my darling Juliette. 473 00:30:44,750 --> 00:30:46,208 For all my life! 474 00:30:48,125 --> 00:30:50,208 Day eight without people, 475 00:30:50,375 --> 00:30:52,208 case of the pickpockets 476 00:30:52,375 --> 00:30:53,708 at Charles-de-Gaulle solved. 477 00:30:53,875 --> 00:30:55,791 There are no more... 478 00:30:56,875 --> 00:30:58,083 pickpockets. 479 00:31:02,250 --> 00:31:04,250 Pickpockets... Done. 480 00:31:04,750 --> 00:31:07,458 How do they enter internet? 481 00:31:08,875 --> 00:31:10,500 There must be a key. 482 00:31:12,500 --> 00:31:13,583 Internet key... 483 00:31:13,750 --> 00:31:15,666 How does Caro do it? 484 00:31:17,041 --> 00:31:18,250 Internet... 485 00:31:19,166 --> 00:31:21,083 Maybe it's voice activated. 486 00:31:22,250 --> 00:31:23,416 Internet! 487 00:31:31,125 --> 00:31:33,250 Stéphane never tidies his desk. 488 00:31:33,416 --> 00:31:36,250 We have waste baskets. This is France! 489 00:31:38,875 --> 00:31:40,000 Internet! 490 00:31:42,375 --> 00:31:43,583 Thank you! 491 00:31:47,541 --> 00:31:49,083 Thank you, Blondot! 492 00:32:00,750 --> 00:32:02,541 Ben Johnson! Ben Johnson! 493 00:32:02,708 --> 00:32:04,083 Come on! 494 00:32:14,750 --> 00:32:16,500 I'm not all alone! 495 00:32:17,166 --> 00:32:19,291 I'm not alone, yay! 496 00:32:39,875 --> 00:32:40,916 Oh no... 497 00:32:43,083 --> 00:32:44,500 Shit! 498 00:33:19,875 --> 00:33:21,083 I love this LP! 499 00:33:48,083 --> 00:33:49,750 And... Now! Now! 500 00:34:17,833 --> 00:34:19,583 The Pentagon! 501 00:34:20,208 --> 00:34:22,958 Clear view of all nine sides. 502 00:34:25,166 --> 00:34:26,125 Shit! 503 00:34:27,416 --> 00:34:28,458 Let's go! 504 00:34:33,083 --> 00:34:34,875 What the hell's going on? 505 00:34:36,166 --> 00:34:37,958 Shit. Come on! 506 00:34:42,500 --> 00:34:43,666 Someone! 507 00:34:46,958 --> 00:34:48,041 My wheel. 508 00:34:57,041 --> 00:34:59,333 Yes! Gently does it. 509 00:35:00,916 --> 00:35:02,500 Where you going? Hold on! 510 00:35:04,333 --> 00:35:05,916 The tire... 511 00:35:06,083 --> 00:35:07,958 I've got no wheel and no brake. 512 00:35:17,125 --> 00:35:18,875 Thank God, no one can see me. 513 00:35:22,875 --> 00:35:24,875 You are so beautiful to me 514 00:35:34,375 --> 00:35:37,375 Please accept this gift, 515 00:35:37,958 --> 00:35:41,416 it captures my mood perfectly. 516 00:35:46,000 --> 00:35:47,458 I miss you. 517 00:35:48,708 --> 00:35:51,500 Your Gentle-Oriental, Curtis. 518 00:35:52,916 --> 00:35:54,375 Suspect has stolen 519 00:35:54,541 --> 00:35:56,416 various sports cars, 520 00:35:56,833 --> 00:35:59,833 such as a McLaren, 521 00:36:00,250 --> 00:36:01,583 even though he... 522 00:36:04,500 --> 00:36:06,041 What did I write? 523 00:36:12,500 --> 00:36:13,916 We have a problem. 524 00:36:16,500 --> 00:36:18,750 C'mon, be brave. 525 00:36:24,166 --> 00:36:25,750 It's okay. 526 00:36:39,708 --> 00:36:40,708 Pompidou! 527 00:37:08,625 --> 00:37:10,541 I wasn't asleep. 528 00:37:11,250 --> 00:37:12,500 I wasn't! 529 00:37:14,416 --> 00:37:17,708 Remember to erase security cam tapes. 530 00:37:18,958 --> 00:37:23,291 We remind you that all exchanges take place at Register 29. 531 00:37:23,458 --> 00:37:25,666 That's terrible parking. 532 00:37:28,291 --> 00:37:30,250 Ride a bike, sucker! 533 00:37:30,416 --> 00:37:34,250 Ladies and gentlemen, the store will soon be closing. 534 00:37:34,416 --> 00:37:37,083 Can you bring us up more Charles Aznavour? 535 00:37:38,041 --> 00:37:41,500 Please proceed to the nearest register. 536 00:37:42,500 --> 00:37:45,083 This way, you'll get the message, dumbo. 537 00:37:46,541 --> 00:37:48,291 Even if you can't read very well. 538 00:37:49,000 --> 00:37:50,916 Let's go. 539 00:38:27,708 --> 00:38:32,041 OKAY, CURTIS, HALT RIGHT THERE 540 00:38:37,958 --> 00:38:39,750 I've gotta get out more. 541 00:38:42,083 --> 00:38:44,416 We live and die together. 542 00:38:45,958 --> 00:38:48,791 We won't get ten chances today. Make them count. 543 00:38:49,250 --> 00:38:50,958 Our strength... Shit! 544 00:38:55,583 --> 00:38:56,458 Thank you. 545 00:38:56,625 --> 00:38:59,708 Thank you, France! We'll bust our guts for you! 546 00:39:07,041 --> 00:39:08,458 Let's go, guys! 547 00:39:09,541 --> 00:39:11,125 C'mon! 548 00:39:11,291 --> 00:39:13,416 Through ball, triangle. 549 00:39:13,583 --> 00:39:15,625 Kick feint, square-X. 550 00:39:15,791 --> 00:39:17,208 Sprint, R1! 551 00:39:17,375 --> 00:39:18,750 Ready? 552 00:39:21,458 --> 00:39:23,208 Tenth day with no news of Curtis. 553 00:39:23,375 --> 00:39:25,958 His movements follow no logic. 554 00:39:26,375 --> 00:39:28,208 It doesn't represent anything. 555 00:39:30,916 --> 00:39:34,083 He hasn't been to Place de la Nation once. 556 00:39:36,000 --> 00:39:36,916 Shoot. 557 00:39:39,916 --> 00:39:40,875 Cut it out! 558 00:39:43,041 --> 00:39:44,250 That's so dumb! 559 00:39:45,333 --> 00:39:46,625 Xavier! 560 00:39:50,000 --> 00:39:51,083 Stop! 561 00:39:52,375 --> 00:39:54,166 Stupid damn system! 562 00:39:56,083 --> 00:39:57,250 No, stop! 563 00:39:57,416 --> 00:39:58,583 Mommy! 564 00:40:14,750 --> 00:40:16,083 I'm stuck! 565 00:40:22,125 --> 00:40:23,416 Someone! 566 00:40:34,916 --> 00:40:35,791 Zidane! 567 00:40:39,041 --> 00:40:40,541 The lights! 568 00:40:43,916 --> 00:40:45,541 Sleep, rest... 569 00:40:53,125 --> 00:40:54,333 Like that... 570 00:40:55,500 --> 00:40:57,333 And that goes... 571 00:40:59,041 --> 00:41:00,500 there like that. 572 00:41:02,250 --> 00:41:03,708 What can that possibly... 573 00:41:09,333 --> 00:41:10,875 A beaver! 574 00:41:11,583 --> 00:41:13,375 With a cell phone. 575 00:41:16,041 --> 00:41:17,833 A beaver with a cell phone. 576 00:41:18,916 --> 00:41:20,833 A beaver with a cell phone? 577 00:41:21,000 --> 00:41:22,000 No... 578 00:41:23,583 --> 00:41:24,458 Yes. 579 00:41:26,041 --> 00:41:28,041 A beaver with a cell phone. 580 00:41:30,000 --> 00:41:31,750 Beaver phone... 581 00:41:32,333 --> 00:41:33,625 Beaver fu... 582 00:41:33,958 --> 00:41:35,583 Kung fu! 583 00:41:36,166 --> 00:41:37,750 He's in Chinatown! 584 00:41:37,916 --> 00:41:38,833 Hey, Doofus! 585 00:41:39,458 --> 00:41:40,458 Are you there? 586 00:41:42,250 --> 00:41:43,416 Gervais? 587 00:41:44,666 --> 00:41:46,250 Shit! 588 00:41:47,333 --> 00:41:50,041 Gervais! I'll count to three, then I'm gone. 589 00:41:50,208 --> 00:41:51,333 Cutie pie punk! 590 00:41:52,541 --> 00:41:54,041 I'll throw you in jail! 591 00:42:11,625 --> 00:42:12,916 His vehicle 592 00:42:13,083 --> 00:42:15,166 is totally unsuited to the city. 593 00:42:16,416 --> 00:42:18,250 Oh shit! 594 00:42:18,500 --> 00:42:20,083 Come on! 595 00:42:28,125 --> 00:42:29,041 Curtis! 596 00:42:40,000 --> 00:42:41,416 What's the code? 597 00:42:41,583 --> 00:42:43,125 Five-two-one-eight. 598 00:42:46,083 --> 00:42:46,958 Thanks. 599 00:42:47,750 --> 00:42:48,750 Stop! 600 00:42:58,125 --> 00:43:01,166 This isn't funny. Can't you see there's just us? 601 00:43:05,625 --> 00:43:08,208 Sadly for you, I have a head for heights. 602 00:43:08,375 --> 00:43:10,875 I'm half-Comanche and half-Norman. 603 00:43:11,041 --> 00:43:13,291 Right. And a hundred percent fat slob. 604 00:43:13,458 --> 00:43:14,666 Touché . 605 00:43:15,958 --> 00:43:16,875 Let me go now! 606 00:43:21,833 --> 00:43:24,041 -Freeze! -Calm down. 607 00:43:24,208 --> 00:43:26,375 Hands on your head! 608 00:43:26,541 --> 00:43:28,375 Good to see you. 609 00:43:29,000 --> 00:43:31,375 All the people have gone... 610 00:43:31,541 --> 00:43:32,500 Shut up! 611 00:43:32,666 --> 00:43:35,333 My God. It's the best day of my life! 612 00:43:41,625 --> 00:43:45,208 You go in and out of my life. Ten years on the run! 613 00:43:47,500 --> 00:43:50,083 It feels so good! Shit! 614 00:43:52,208 --> 00:43:53,125 Stay... 615 00:43:58,333 --> 00:44:00,875 Stay there, it's a dead end. 616 00:44:01,041 --> 00:44:02,083 You can't run. 617 00:44:02,791 --> 00:44:03,916 Watch me. 618 00:44:13,833 --> 00:44:15,416 How'd I do that? 619 00:44:18,791 --> 00:44:20,666 How'd he do that? 620 00:44:21,041 --> 00:44:23,375 Stop your ass! Halt your ass! 621 00:44:23,541 --> 00:44:25,166 Carl Lewis! 622 00:44:25,333 --> 00:44:26,500 Halt right there. 623 00:44:31,416 --> 00:44:36,208 PARIS WAXWORKS MUSEUM ENTRANCE - EXIT 624 00:45:17,125 --> 00:45:19,333 Say goodbye to the family, let's go. 625 00:45:21,416 --> 00:45:22,541 Sure. 626 00:45:23,041 --> 00:45:25,458 -Tito, Jermaine... -C'mon, Michael. 627 00:45:26,416 --> 00:45:27,500 See you, bros. 628 00:45:29,958 --> 00:45:31,208 Dinner time! 629 00:45:34,166 --> 00:45:36,458 There you are, Curtis. 630 00:45:37,125 --> 00:45:38,666 Where else would you be? 631 00:45:39,875 --> 00:45:41,833 I braised you some chicken. 632 00:45:42,333 --> 00:45:45,041 You'll see, it's chicken and mash. 633 00:45:45,208 --> 00:45:47,625 I bought it at the farmer's market. 634 00:45:56,291 --> 00:45:58,125 Wake up, Curtis. 635 00:46:04,583 --> 00:46:06,000 Give me the key. 636 00:46:06,166 --> 00:46:08,666 -Give me the key now! -Whatcha gonna do? 637 00:46:08,833 --> 00:46:10,833 You gonna eat me like all the others? 638 00:46:11,000 --> 00:46:12,083 You ate them! 639 00:46:12,250 --> 00:46:15,041 -You're nuts! I didn't eat anyone! -Cannibal! 640 00:46:15,208 --> 00:46:16,708 -The key! -Look! 641 00:46:20,458 --> 00:46:22,583 Don't do that. Give me the key. 642 00:46:22,750 --> 00:46:25,083 -Give it! -They're over there. 643 00:46:30,375 --> 00:46:33,875 -Go get the key. -You're going to jail. 644 00:46:34,041 --> 00:46:34,958 I'm there already. 645 00:46:35,125 --> 00:46:38,125 You deserve worse, worse than torture. 646 00:46:38,291 --> 00:46:40,000 What's that? 647 00:46:40,166 --> 00:46:43,708 You're gonna put me down like a dog? Is that your plan? 648 00:46:43,875 --> 00:46:45,083 This is different. 649 00:46:45,250 --> 00:46:48,166 I have minor, very minor issues... 650 00:46:48,333 --> 00:46:52,166 -What kind? -About controlling my nerves. 651 00:46:52,333 --> 00:46:54,625 -The jab's for you? -Yes. 652 00:46:54,791 --> 00:46:56,583 It's a small injection 653 00:46:56,750 --> 00:46:59,708 that I have to give myself but... 654 00:46:59,875 --> 00:47:00,958 You're totally spaced! 655 00:47:01,708 --> 00:47:04,625 On the contrary, I'm perfectly lucid. 656 00:47:05,333 --> 00:47:07,250 -Lucid? Open up. -More than you! 657 00:47:07,416 --> 00:47:09,416 Yeah, you look really lucid. 658 00:47:10,166 --> 00:47:11,791 That's so totally lucid. 659 00:47:11,958 --> 00:47:13,333 -That's mean. -Shut up! 660 00:47:13,500 --> 00:47:15,291 -Open up! -Can it, bitch! 661 00:47:15,833 --> 00:47:18,583 -Can it? You locked me up! -Wasn't talking to you. 662 00:47:21,291 --> 00:47:24,208 Could you give me a tiny injection 663 00:47:24,375 --> 00:47:27,833 to cure the nerve problem I get at night? Midnight! 664 00:47:28,000 --> 00:47:29,000 Happy New Year! 665 00:47:29,333 --> 00:47:30,791 Bubbly! 666 00:47:30,958 --> 00:47:33,250 You're nuts! No way am I giving you a jab. 667 00:47:33,416 --> 00:47:35,291 Six milliliters. 668 00:47:35,833 --> 00:47:38,666 -Please. -You lock me up. Why'd I do that? 669 00:47:38,833 --> 00:47:40,916 I'll mention it in your file. 670 00:47:41,083 --> 00:47:43,708 Because you have a file on me? 671 00:47:44,833 --> 00:47:46,875 We have a lot to pin on you. 672 00:47:47,041 --> 00:47:49,333 Who're you gonna tell? We're all alone. 673 00:47:49,500 --> 00:47:51,375 You gonna tell it to a judge? 674 00:47:52,500 --> 00:47:55,125 Go find one. He can give you your jab, too. 675 00:47:55,583 --> 00:47:57,500 -Please. -No, no please. 676 00:47:58,000 --> 00:47:58,916 Get the key. 677 00:47:59,875 --> 00:48:00,875 First, you... 678 00:48:01,041 --> 00:48:02,458 I'll do it when I'm out. 679 00:48:03,541 --> 00:48:05,041 I said outside. 680 00:48:10,125 --> 00:48:11,166 Put the key in. 681 00:48:11,333 --> 00:48:13,083 -I won't run. -I don't trust you. 682 00:48:13,250 --> 00:48:15,541 -The key! -Rub my arm. 683 00:48:16,500 --> 00:48:17,583 No, you "wo-wo". 684 00:48:17,750 --> 00:48:19,416 Don't "wo-wo" me! 685 00:48:19,583 --> 00:48:21,458 -Rub. -Put the key in. 686 00:48:22,458 --> 00:48:24,500 Calm down, I'm rubbing. Turn the key. 687 00:48:24,666 --> 00:48:26,791 -The syringe... -Turn the key. 688 00:48:26,958 --> 00:48:28,583 -Jab. -Turn. 689 00:48:28,750 --> 00:48:29,791 -I'm jabbing. -Press. 690 00:48:29,958 --> 00:48:31,166 -I'm pressing. -I'm turning. 691 00:48:34,708 --> 00:48:35,666 There you go! 692 00:48:39,375 --> 00:48:41,875 I got you there, my friend! 693 00:48:42,458 --> 00:48:43,750 See you later. 694 00:48:44,250 --> 00:48:46,750 Report in every day at four p.m., okay? 695 00:48:46,916 --> 00:48:49,083 Sure! I'll be there at four. 696 00:49:09,375 --> 00:49:11,166 Thank God, no one saw me. 697 00:49:16,000 --> 00:49:17,041 That's pretty. 698 00:49:19,000 --> 00:49:20,541 Souvenir photo. 699 00:49:20,708 --> 00:49:22,083 Isn't that Curtis? 700 00:49:22,250 --> 00:49:23,166 Sure is. 701 00:49:23,500 --> 00:49:25,375 GERVAIS = MY BITCH 702 00:49:30,208 --> 00:49:32,666 The tree of knowledge. 703 00:49:42,125 --> 00:49:43,708 Sorry. 'Scuse me. 704 00:49:45,916 --> 00:49:46,791 'Scuse me. 705 00:51:12,458 --> 00:51:14,791 It's MC Curtis One, two 706 00:51:14,958 --> 00:51:17,000 C-U-R-T-I-S 707 00:51:17,166 --> 00:51:19,625 Mr. Lover Curtis 708 00:51:22,041 --> 00:51:23,583 Gotta be ready. 709 00:51:24,416 --> 00:51:25,750 Want a merguez? 710 00:51:28,458 --> 00:51:30,208 Don't you miss chicks? 711 00:51:32,958 --> 00:51:34,750 What are you anyway, a chick? 712 00:51:39,291 --> 00:51:41,625 Whatever, you've got something special. 713 00:51:44,250 --> 00:51:47,583 Anyways, you're special. 714 00:51:49,125 --> 00:51:50,916 After how long without people, 715 00:51:51,458 --> 00:51:55,541 would you start to need a little loving? 716 00:51:55,708 --> 00:51:58,000 How long can you hold out? 717 00:52:02,875 --> 00:52:04,250 Got any taboos? 718 00:52:06,458 --> 00:52:11,791 Good Tag, ich bin Inspektor Blondot from Frankreich police. 719 00:52:12,458 --> 00:52:14,041 Ich call Sie up 720 00:52:14,208 --> 00:52:17,875 weil in Paris nicht nobody ist. 721 00:52:18,041 --> 00:52:19,500 Ich bin vanished. 722 00:52:19,875 --> 00:52:21,416 Ich bin nicht kaputt. 723 00:52:21,875 --> 00:52:23,000 Was ist das? 724 00:52:23,666 --> 00:52:25,500 Ja, people in Baden-Baden. 725 00:52:25,666 --> 00:52:28,125 Call ich on 726 00:52:28,291 --> 00:52:31,875 zero-three-four-three... 727 00:52:32,041 --> 00:52:34,041 five-four-four-one. 728 00:52:34,250 --> 00:52:35,625 Thanks. Danke schön. 729 00:52:37,791 --> 00:52:39,041 How you doing? 730 00:52:39,708 --> 00:52:41,666 I'm working. What do you want? 731 00:52:42,666 --> 00:52:45,291 You told me to report in, so here I am. 732 00:52:45,916 --> 00:52:49,833 I told you to be there next day. That was a week ago. 733 00:52:50,000 --> 00:52:52,208 I had stuff to do. 734 00:52:52,375 --> 00:52:54,000 Now, I have stuff to do. 735 00:52:54,166 --> 00:52:55,375 -Like what? -Work. 736 00:52:55,541 --> 00:52:57,083 -Such as? -Work. 737 00:52:57,250 --> 00:52:58,500 I have work to do, too. 738 00:52:58,666 --> 00:53:01,916 If you want to report in, come back at four p.m. 739 00:53:02,083 --> 00:53:05,000 Don't bust my balls with your rules, we're all alone! 740 00:53:05,166 --> 00:53:06,083 What good are rules? 741 00:53:06,250 --> 00:53:08,458 We're not all alone! 742 00:53:08,625 --> 00:53:11,458 It's a temporary situation. I'd finished it! 743 00:53:11,875 --> 00:53:12,750 Get off me! 744 00:53:12,916 --> 00:53:16,875 This phenomenon already happened, in Nevada in 1964. 745 00:53:17,041 --> 00:53:19,041 A whole village disappeared 746 00:53:19,208 --> 00:53:21,583 and reappeared next day 30 miles away. 747 00:53:22,125 --> 00:53:23,833 I heard about that. 748 00:53:24,000 --> 00:53:25,458 It was a fairground. 749 00:53:26,458 --> 00:53:27,500 -Really? -Yes. 750 00:53:31,041 --> 00:53:32,291 Sounds logical. 751 00:53:35,583 --> 00:53:36,875 Excuse me... 752 00:53:38,333 --> 00:53:42,250 Are you married? I don't recall from your file. 753 00:53:43,291 --> 00:53:44,416 Polygamous. 754 00:53:44,916 --> 00:53:46,333 Right! "Lopygamous". 755 00:53:47,125 --> 00:53:48,333 Polygamous. 756 00:53:49,333 --> 00:53:50,500 So you've had sex? 757 00:53:50,666 --> 00:53:53,625 Pardon me? "So you've had sex"? 758 00:53:54,250 --> 00:53:55,708 -I was just... -Say that again! 759 00:53:55,875 --> 00:53:57,041 We've all had sex. 760 00:53:57,208 --> 00:54:00,000 What kinda question is that? You've never had sex? 761 00:54:00,166 --> 00:54:01,375 -Sure. -You haven't! 762 00:54:01,541 --> 00:54:04,250 -I wanted to know if you had. -You can see I have. 763 00:54:04,416 --> 00:54:07,041 -Me, too. -No, you've never had sex. 764 00:54:07,208 --> 00:54:09,375 Shame on you! You've never had sex! 765 00:54:09,541 --> 00:54:11,041 -I have. You do this. -No way! 766 00:54:11,208 --> 00:54:13,708 -I've already done it. -What's it feel like? 767 00:54:13,875 --> 00:54:16,291 Like you're shivering with gooseflesh. 768 00:54:17,500 --> 00:54:21,083 Of course, I've had sex. At least, I was going to... 769 00:54:21,250 --> 00:54:22,916 What do I care anyway! 770 00:54:23,500 --> 00:54:26,333 Isn't this whack? There's nobody here. 771 00:54:29,208 --> 00:54:30,458 Nobody answers. 772 00:54:30,625 --> 00:54:32,250 Absolutely wax. 773 00:54:32,416 --> 00:54:33,458 Whack! 774 00:54:33,625 --> 00:54:34,958 Whack. 775 00:54:35,125 --> 00:54:36,250 Whack. 776 00:54:37,958 --> 00:54:39,875 I never saw anything so spooking. 777 00:54:40,041 --> 00:54:41,625 Spooky. 778 00:54:41,958 --> 00:54:43,375 You don't say spooking. 779 00:54:44,666 --> 00:54:47,708 It's totally out-far. I remember the first time... 780 00:54:47,875 --> 00:54:49,791 Sorry? Totally out where? 781 00:54:50,666 --> 00:54:53,458 Out-far. Get with it, it's street. 782 00:54:53,625 --> 00:54:57,083 To think it's two weeks I shoulda been married. 783 00:54:57,250 --> 00:54:58,875 Ring on the finger! 784 00:54:59,041 --> 00:55:00,375 Eleven carats. 785 00:55:00,916 --> 00:55:02,125 The big cheese. 786 00:55:02,291 --> 00:55:03,625 Tough shit. 787 00:55:04,041 --> 00:55:06,916 I don't mind. I should be dead by now. 788 00:55:07,083 --> 00:55:09,500 This is cool. Better to travel alone than... 789 00:55:09,666 --> 00:55:10,916 travel dead. 790 00:55:12,291 --> 00:55:14,416 You wanna see something wild? 791 00:55:16,166 --> 00:55:17,250 Put that away. 792 00:55:17,416 --> 00:55:18,416 Done with the Bs. 793 00:55:18,583 --> 00:55:20,541 I wanna show you something. 794 00:55:20,708 --> 00:55:21,666 Thanks. 795 00:55:22,208 --> 00:55:24,500 Welcome to the Petit Palais Museum. 796 00:55:24,666 --> 00:55:26,791 Opposite is the Grand Palais. 797 00:55:26,958 --> 00:55:30,458 Two months ago, you could've seen the Medium Palais. 798 00:55:30,625 --> 00:55:32,625 -But they sold it to the US. -Really? 799 00:55:32,791 --> 00:55:35,666 They called it the Medium Palace. 800 00:55:36,000 --> 00:55:38,875 Watch out, I've waxed the floor. 801 00:55:40,291 --> 00:55:41,583 That's so whack. 802 00:55:41,750 --> 00:55:43,625 No, I said waxed... 803 00:55:45,625 --> 00:55:47,166 I bashed up my wrist. 804 00:55:47,333 --> 00:55:50,166 If you go charging into statues... Curtis Expo? 805 00:55:50,333 --> 00:55:52,333 It's where I keep my paintings. 806 00:55:52,500 --> 00:55:53,833 What's that? 807 00:55:54,000 --> 00:55:56,291 The Arch of the Foot. 808 00:55:57,250 --> 00:55:58,958 -You took that? -From NYC. 809 00:55:59,541 --> 00:56:00,416 And that? 810 00:56:00,583 --> 00:56:03,333 The Mannskin Pis... 811 00:56:04,291 --> 00:56:07,208 -It's bigger than I thought. -Five meters. 812 00:56:07,375 --> 00:56:08,250 Okay? 813 00:56:08,416 --> 00:56:11,208 Herbal Medicine Laboratory! Perfect! 814 00:56:12,416 --> 00:56:13,708 This is perfect. 815 00:56:13,875 --> 00:56:15,208 It's full of plants. 816 00:56:15,375 --> 00:56:17,916 Medicines all come from plants. 817 00:56:19,041 --> 00:56:22,083 You mean that can cure me? All of that? 818 00:56:22,666 --> 00:56:24,291 Does that cure wrists? 819 00:56:25,000 --> 00:56:27,708 Aldrovanda vesiculosa ? I don't think so. 820 00:56:28,250 --> 00:56:30,500 That's for the... 821 00:56:30,666 --> 00:56:31,541 eyelids. 822 00:56:31,708 --> 00:56:34,083 If you have stiff or achy eyelids. 823 00:56:34,250 --> 00:56:37,500 -Stiff eyelids? -It happens. Photographers... 824 00:56:37,666 --> 00:56:39,208 How'd you know all this? 825 00:56:39,375 --> 00:56:42,333 I already told you, my grandfather 826 00:56:42,500 --> 00:56:44,208 was a Chivaro... 827 00:56:45,500 --> 00:56:46,833 of the Comanche tribe. 828 00:56:47,291 --> 00:56:49,875 If my grandfather could see this. 829 00:56:50,041 --> 00:56:51,958 Let's analyze... 830 00:56:52,666 --> 00:56:54,875 Perfect! Sarsaparilla! 831 00:56:55,041 --> 00:56:56,083 You talk Smurf? 832 00:56:56,250 --> 00:56:58,583 No, Peyo stole it from the Comanches. 833 00:56:58,750 --> 00:57:02,125 The Indians used it on holes, mostly arrow holes. 834 00:57:02,291 --> 00:57:03,166 Your sleeve. 835 00:57:03,666 --> 00:57:05,458 -Here goes. -You're sure? 836 00:57:05,625 --> 00:57:06,625 Certain. 837 00:57:11,875 --> 00:57:12,833 Pardon me? 838 00:57:15,291 --> 00:57:16,166 What's all that? 839 00:57:16,333 --> 00:57:19,500 Comanche incantations. My grandfather taught me. 840 00:57:20,833 --> 00:57:22,291 Stop, it's itching. 841 00:57:22,750 --> 00:57:24,458 Stop it! It's itching. 842 00:57:25,125 --> 00:57:26,291 Maybe I got it wrong. 843 00:57:26,458 --> 00:57:28,958 -My wrist's stiff and swollen! -Let's analyze it. 844 00:57:32,958 --> 00:57:34,583 Stop whining. 845 00:57:34,750 --> 00:57:37,458 No, it's a herb you use on leather. 846 00:57:37,625 --> 00:57:40,000 -It's leathera anatanae . -It's your sleeve! 847 00:57:41,041 --> 00:57:43,208 -What? -That's your sleeve. 848 00:57:44,583 --> 00:57:45,458 Sorry. 849 00:57:45,625 --> 00:57:48,125 Do something, I can't stand it. 850 00:57:48,708 --> 00:57:51,125 The plant has like tiny piranhas 851 00:57:51,291 --> 00:57:53,000 attacking each other... 852 00:57:53,166 --> 00:57:56,125 They look pretty hyper. I'd hate that on my skin. 853 00:57:56,291 --> 00:57:58,375 Are you nuts? It's totally itching! 854 00:57:58,541 --> 00:57:59,500 We'll find a cream. 855 00:57:59,666 --> 00:58:02,083 No way! You made a dick out of me! 856 00:58:02,250 --> 00:58:03,416 I'm a police officer! 857 00:58:05,125 --> 00:58:07,000 My eye! You got it in my eye! 858 00:58:07,166 --> 00:58:08,833 My God, I can't see! 859 00:58:09,541 --> 00:58:12,708 Can we go home now? There's nobody anywhere! 860 00:58:12,875 --> 00:58:17,125 But there'll be people in Marseille. We'll definitely find someone. 861 00:58:17,291 --> 00:58:18,833 How are you gonna find them? 862 00:58:19,000 --> 00:58:22,416 With my state of the art police antennas, 863 00:58:22,583 --> 00:58:26,875 I can detect signs of life 200 meters away. 864 00:58:34,625 --> 00:58:38,041 Von Strudel, ve vill go round ze Maginot... 865 00:58:38,208 --> 00:58:39,083 Stop it. 866 00:58:39,916 --> 00:58:41,375 Give me a hand. 867 00:58:41,541 --> 00:58:44,125 Come here, I have something to tell you. 868 00:58:44,458 --> 00:58:45,333 What? 869 00:58:45,833 --> 00:58:47,625 My real name isn't Curtis. 870 00:58:48,541 --> 00:58:51,916 My real name is Abdelkader. I'm Arab. 871 00:58:52,541 --> 00:58:53,750 What? 872 00:58:53,916 --> 00:58:55,000 I never told you. 873 00:58:55,166 --> 00:58:56,791 You can't be serious. 874 00:58:57,458 --> 00:58:58,791 I am serious. 875 00:58:58,958 --> 00:59:00,416 You make me sick! 876 00:59:00,583 --> 00:59:01,625 Chill. 877 00:59:02,125 --> 00:59:03,416 Calm down! 878 00:59:04,000 --> 00:59:05,375 He says he's an Arab. 879 00:59:05,541 --> 00:59:08,041 You make me sick! 880 00:59:08,208 --> 00:59:11,125 -Why? 'Cos I'm Arab. -No, 'cos you lied to me. 881 00:59:11,291 --> 00:59:12,250 Calm down. 882 00:59:12,416 --> 00:59:15,041 Mr. Curtis from Argentina, he said. 883 00:59:15,583 --> 00:59:17,750 I'm Abdelkader from Argenteuil. 884 00:59:18,583 --> 00:59:21,250 You created one hell of an alter-ego. 885 00:59:23,458 --> 00:59:26,083 Anyway, half a confession's better than a nun. 886 00:59:27,166 --> 00:59:28,833 You've won yourself a beatnik. 887 00:59:29,000 --> 00:59:30,875 You brought a picnic? 888 00:59:31,041 --> 00:59:33,541 Yeah, for Abdelkader from Argenteuil. 889 00:59:34,000 --> 00:59:36,083 That's so sweet. 890 00:59:36,250 --> 00:59:37,541 -Gervais? -What? 891 00:59:38,166 --> 00:59:41,333 It's the first time in decades anyone's cooked for me. 892 00:59:41,875 --> 00:59:45,833 Cut it out. Your Ma cooked for you when you were a kid. 893 00:59:46,000 --> 00:59:48,708 -You're joking! -Here, tabouleh. Merguez... 894 00:59:48,875 --> 00:59:50,875 My Ma never looked after me like this. 895 00:59:51,041 --> 00:59:54,416 Yeah, I know. I saw a documentary about Arabs once. 896 00:59:54,583 --> 00:59:57,583 After the birth, you're left to fend for yourself. 897 00:59:57,750 --> 00:59:59,916 You're mixing us up with hyenas. 898 01:00:01,000 --> 01:00:02,166 If you're Arab, 899 01:00:02,500 --> 01:00:03,916 you don't eat chips. 900 01:00:04,833 --> 01:00:06,208 No, I don't eat chips. 901 01:00:07,333 --> 01:00:10,750 I'll eat your share and I'll give you my egg. 902 01:00:12,125 --> 01:00:14,166 I never told anyone this... 903 01:00:15,125 --> 01:00:16,708 I must have been 11 904 01:00:16,875 --> 01:00:18,875 and to get my parents' attention, 905 01:00:19,041 --> 01:00:21,166 I worked hard at school for once. 906 01:00:22,458 --> 01:00:24,375 I got 11 out of 20 in Math. 907 01:00:24,916 --> 01:00:26,750 And when you were 12, you got 12? 908 01:00:29,166 --> 01:00:30,041 Sorry. 909 01:00:32,208 --> 01:00:34,541 It was Math that you had to... 910 01:00:34,708 --> 01:00:38,833 You guys are good at Math. I mean, didn't you invent Math? 911 01:00:39,875 --> 01:00:42,208 Sorry. I'm listening to you. 912 01:00:43,000 --> 01:00:44,875 I take my test home... 913 01:00:45,250 --> 01:00:46,916 No reaction from my folks. 914 01:00:47,625 --> 01:00:48,750 That's hard-boiled! 915 01:00:51,833 --> 01:00:54,041 After three days, I go to see my Ma... 916 01:00:54,625 --> 01:00:57,583 I look at her, and she grunts: "Not bad." 917 01:00:57,750 --> 01:00:59,458 Not bad, not bad... 918 01:00:59,625 --> 01:01:01,375 My Ma speaks French. 919 01:01:03,500 --> 01:01:05,500 It was only 11 out of 20. 920 01:01:05,666 --> 01:01:07,666 For me, 11's a great score. 921 01:01:07,833 --> 01:01:09,125 No kidding! 922 01:01:10,958 --> 01:01:13,041 Getting 11 was a real achievement. 923 01:01:13,208 --> 01:01:15,750 And her "not bad" really pissed me off! 924 01:01:16,791 --> 01:01:19,291 Next day, I packed up and I was gone. 925 01:01:19,458 --> 01:01:21,166 -Aged 11? -Eleven, yeah. 926 01:01:21,791 --> 01:01:24,333 Your knapsack, couscous and... 927 01:01:25,333 --> 01:01:27,333 No, it all fitted in a fanny pack. 928 01:01:27,916 --> 01:01:30,083 I never told anyone this before. 929 01:01:30,416 --> 01:01:32,625 Straight up, it hurts. 930 01:01:35,041 --> 01:01:36,375 I'm touched. 931 01:01:36,541 --> 01:01:39,625 If, at 11, you lost a family of Arabs... 932 01:01:40,250 --> 01:01:41,416 It's still family! 933 01:01:41,583 --> 01:01:43,916 It's no big deal, they were Arabs. 934 01:01:44,666 --> 01:01:47,250 You've won a new Gervais! 935 01:01:47,416 --> 01:01:48,833 Come get your hug! 936 01:01:49,416 --> 01:01:50,666 This is stupid. 937 01:01:51,916 --> 01:01:53,458 It's amazing! 938 01:01:54,750 --> 01:01:58,541 Gervais, it feels so good. I never got any hugs. 939 01:02:03,375 --> 01:02:05,250 Jeez! You're a hungry bunny. 940 01:02:05,416 --> 01:02:07,458 I can hear your belly rumbling. 941 01:02:08,416 --> 01:02:09,833 That's not my belly. 942 01:02:14,750 --> 01:02:17,625 Watch out! What the hell? Curtis! Come here! 943 01:02:17,791 --> 01:02:19,083 Come here! 944 01:02:20,083 --> 01:02:21,291 -No! -Wait! 945 01:02:22,083 --> 01:02:24,125 -No, I'll wait. -Curtis, wait! 946 01:02:27,833 --> 01:02:30,666 For a nice quiet vacation, I suggest 947 01:02:30,833 --> 01:02:33,666 the Riviera. Hook up with the family... 948 01:02:34,166 --> 01:02:36,375 Kick back a few days... 949 01:02:36,541 --> 01:02:40,250 Spicy food, massages, sun, the full package. 950 01:02:51,583 --> 01:02:52,625 Now! 951 01:02:54,791 --> 01:02:56,666 Hey, it's that dork Curtis! 952 01:03:00,000 --> 01:03:01,583 Curtis goes to St. Tropez, too! 953 01:03:01,875 --> 01:03:04,291 I'll tell you when. Be careful! 954 01:03:04,458 --> 01:03:06,291 I'll bleed you like a pig! 955 01:03:07,458 --> 01:03:08,541 Come on! 956 01:03:09,208 --> 01:03:12,333 Fucking stupid picnic! 957 01:03:19,333 --> 01:03:20,250 Asshole! 958 01:03:21,208 --> 01:03:23,000 -You asshole! -This means... 959 01:03:23,166 --> 01:03:26,875 Your stupid picnic idea! In the middle of a highway! 960 01:03:27,041 --> 01:03:27,916 Get lost! 961 01:03:28,083 --> 01:03:29,458 -On the bright side... -Beat it! 962 01:03:29,625 --> 01:03:32,000 -The people came back. -That's the problem! 963 01:03:32,166 --> 01:03:34,916 Didn't you see? That's the problem. 964 01:03:35,083 --> 01:03:36,458 If he slices me... 965 01:03:37,666 --> 01:03:39,083 I'll slice you! 966 01:03:39,625 --> 01:03:40,958 I'm not a loaf of bread. 967 01:03:43,708 --> 01:03:46,375 We're parked over here. 968 01:03:47,916 --> 01:03:50,208 I'll kill you! 969 01:03:50,375 --> 01:03:53,500 That's good, Abdelkader, let it out! 970 01:03:53,666 --> 01:03:56,541 I'm wondering what I'm still doing here with you. 971 01:03:56,708 --> 01:03:58,166 Look... 972 01:03:58,958 --> 01:04:02,250 I didn't know. How could I know? Give me a break. 973 01:04:02,416 --> 01:04:04,666 They came back a few minutes. 974 01:04:05,166 --> 01:04:08,916 It's a good sign. Next time, a half-hour. 975 01:04:09,083 --> 01:04:11,166 The time after that, an hour... 976 01:04:11,333 --> 01:04:13,583 -And the time after that, I'm dead. -It's crazy. 977 01:04:13,750 --> 01:04:18,500 I'll help you with the Bouglionis. We'll find a solution. 978 01:04:18,666 --> 01:04:21,875 I like you, but you gotta make an effort. 979 01:04:22,041 --> 01:04:24,583 -Stop! What's going on? -I'm fine. 980 01:04:24,750 --> 01:04:26,916 Look, your mouth's wobbling. 981 01:04:28,875 --> 01:04:30,416 -What the heck? -Put it back! 982 01:04:30,875 --> 01:04:32,208 I do everything for you. 983 01:04:33,875 --> 01:04:36,916 You scratched it! They're gonna kill me. 984 01:04:37,625 --> 01:04:39,833 Can you believe it? Young people today... 985 01:04:40,000 --> 01:04:41,333 -Gervais? -What? 986 01:04:42,333 --> 01:04:44,041 What do you like about me? 987 01:04:45,083 --> 01:04:45,958 I don't understand. 988 01:04:46,125 --> 01:04:48,375 You said you like me, but you can't. 989 01:04:48,541 --> 01:04:51,000 You chase me for ten years, now you like me? 990 01:04:51,166 --> 01:04:54,666 It's pure, selfless friendship, to be nice. 991 01:04:54,833 --> 01:04:57,250 So what do you like the most? 992 01:04:57,416 --> 01:04:59,583 -You'll run down the battery. -C'mon! 993 01:05:00,166 --> 01:05:02,125 -What I like about you... -I'm all ears. 994 01:05:02,833 --> 01:05:04,583 You gotta be faster than that. 995 01:05:04,750 --> 01:05:07,333 When I walk into a room, you think... 996 01:05:07,500 --> 01:05:09,916 -That guy's so... -He's so... 997 01:05:10,083 --> 01:05:12,875 -What I like most... -Is... 998 01:05:13,416 --> 01:05:14,750 Is that you're... 999 01:05:14,916 --> 01:05:17,000 More than anyone else I know. 1000 01:05:17,166 --> 01:05:18,291 Seriously? 1001 01:05:18,458 --> 01:05:20,125 You noticed that? 1002 01:05:21,458 --> 01:05:24,583 I love it when you say stuff like that... Five! 1003 01:05:24,833 --> 01:05:25,708 Five what? 1004 01:05:25,875 --> 01:05:27,333 Gimme five! 1005 01:05:30,166 --> 01:05:32,250 Hey, be careful. 1006 01:05:32,416 --> 01:05:33,625 -Jeez! -It's overheating. 1007 01:05:33,791 --> 01:05:36,500 They're back. I knew it! 1008 01:05:36,666 --> 01:05:39,541 I'm so smart! I'm giga-smart! 1009 01:05:39,875 --> 01:05:40,958 The Bouglionis! 1010 01:05:41,125 --> 01:05:42,750 I knew it! I'm so smart! 1011 01:05:42,916 --> 01:05:44,750 Don't let them come back. 1012 01:05:44,916 --> 01:05:47,125 I knew it! You're back! 1013 01:05:47,958 --> 01:05:49,125 Juliette! 1014 01:05:51,125 --> 01:05:52,750 I'm okay. 1015 01:05:53,041 --> 01:05:54,000 Yes! 1016 01:05:54,833 --> 01:05:57,000 -You okay, sir? -Just wonderful. 1017 01:05:57,166 --> 01:05:58,666 Number six. 1018 01:05:58,833 --> 01:06:00,875 Seventy-seven eighty, please. 1019 01:06:01,041 --> 01:06:02,166 Sorry? 1020 01:06:02,333 --> 01:06:03,708 -Pump number six? -Yes. 1021 01:06:03,875 --> 01:06:05,250 Seventy-seven eighty. 1022 01:06:05,416 --> 01:06:07,958 You're not fuc... I mean... 1023 01:06:09,166 --> 01:06:11,208 There you are. 1024 01:06:11,875 --> 01:06:13,125 Thank you, sir. 1025 01:06:13,291 --> 01:06:14,666 What's this? 1026 01:06:18,125 --> 01:06:19,166 ROBBERY AT ART FOUNDATION 1027 01:06:19,333 --> 01:06:22,333 The Louvre stripped bare by a mysterious... 1028 01:06:25,291 --> 01:06:26,291 You sure you're okay? 1029 01:06:26,458 --> 01:06:28,000 I'm fine. Where's the phone? 1030 01:06:28,916 --> 01:06:31,625 Twenty-five minutes to pay up. This is stupid! 1031 01:06:32,958 --> 01:06:33,833 Gervais. 1032 01:06:34,000 --> 01:06:35,666 Freeze! Police! 1033 01:06:35,833 --> 01:06:37,125 Get up! 1034 01:06:37,291 --> 01:06:38,458 -Hands up! -Move it! 1035 01:06:38,625 --> 01:06:41,250 Okay, I'm coming out. I'm getting up. 1036 01:06:47,458 --> 01:06:48,875 Where were you? 1037 01:06:49,041 --> 01:06:50,250 On the Champs-Elysées. 1038 01:06:50,416 --> 01:06:52,416 Take a seat in the office. 1039 01:06:54,125 --> 01:06:55,458 Where were you? 1040 01:06:55,666 --> 01:06:56,541 Hi, honey... 1041 01:06:56,708 --> 01:06:59,875 Running out on me. Who do you think you are? 1042 01:07:00,041 --> 01:07:01,041 But I couldn't... 1043 01:07:01,208 --> 01:07:02,583 You couldn't what? 1044 01:07:02,750 --> 01:07:05,083 -You said... - I'm talking! 1045 01:07:05,250 --> 01:07:08,000 Don't interrupt! You do all the talking, 1046 01:07:08,166 --> 01:07:09,541 you call me 15 times a day 1047 01:07:09,708 --> 01:07:12,041 and then you vanish! The wedding! 1048 01:07:12,208 --> 01:07:13,833 Gervais, the wedding! 1049 01:07:14,000 --> 01:07:17,791 Remember, I was the one who proposed... 1050 01:07:17,958 --> 01:07:20,000 So why would I just vanish? 1051 01:07:20,166 --> 01:07:21,958 What do I look like? 1052 01:07:22,125 --> 01:07:25,083 You acted like a kid who can't answer the question. 1053 01:07:25,250 --> 01:07:26,166 Don't interrupt! 1054 01:07:26,333 --> 01:07:27,958 Let's just imagine... 1055 01:07:28,125 --> 01:07:29,000 You turn up... 1056 01:07:29,166 --> 01:07:32,000 Do you realize how much the catering cost me? 1057 01:07:32,166 --> 01:07:33,250 Go easy back there. 1058 01:07:33,416 --> 01:07:34,416 What's going on? 1059 01:07:34,916 --> 01:07:37,083 Just some buddies doing their job. 1060 01:07:37,541 --> 01:07:39,875 I had big plans. We were going far. Sit! 1061 01:07:40,041 --> 01:07:41,041 I am sitting. 1062 01:07:41,208 --> 01:07:42,333 Not you! 1063 01:07:43,166 --> 01:07:44,041 Right. 1064 01:07:44,208 --> 01:07:46,291 That's gotta hurt. 1065 01:07:46,458 --> 01:07:48,541 - What's going on behind you? -Nothing. 1066 01:07:48,708 --> 01:07:52,458 You made a fool out of me. You don't care, you have no family. 1067 01:07:52,625 --> 01:07:55,375 - Down! -I'm in someone's office. 1068 01:07:55,541 --> 01:07:56,916 I can't. 1069 01:07:57,083 --> 01:07:58,750 I didn't mean you! 1070 01:07:58,916 --> 01:08:00,583 Sorry. 1071 01:08:01,625 --> 01:08:03,375 I know what we can do. 1072 01:08:03,541 --> 01:08:05,958 Call the priest and fix it for Saturday. 1073 01:08:06,125 --> 01:08:08,750 I'm free Saturday. Saturday's good. 1074 01:08:08,916 --> 01:08:10,166 You're a pain! 1075 01:08:12,041 --> 01:08:14,208 Come on, Kenzo. Let's get to work. 1076 01:08:15,083 --> 01:08:16,666 Stop being childish. 1077 01:08:16,833 --> 01:08:19,875 He'll only tell us where the paintings are if you ask him. 1078 01:08:20,041 --> 01:08:22,541 -Fine, I resign. -Pardon me? 1079 01:08:23,375 --> 01:08:24,791 My Mom told me in hospital... 1080 01:08:24,958 --> 01:08:26,333 I don't give a shit! 1081 01:08:26,500 --> 01:08:28,166 Go interrogate the suspect. 1082 01:08:28,333 --> 01:08:31,958 If I'm face to face with him, you'll all disappear. 1083 01:08:42,416 --> 01:08:44,791 It's not a joke. 1084 01:08:44,958 --> 01:08:46,125 Motherfucker! 1085 01:08:46,291 --> 01:08:47,333 Asshole! 1086 01:08:49,958 --> 01:08:50,875 Shut up! 1087 01:08:51,041 --> 01:08:52,666 It's not me, it's him. 1088 01:08:52,833 --> 01:08:54,583 He's saying shut up! 1089 01:08:55,166 --> 01:08:57,166 Not another word! 1090 01:08:57,333 --> 01:08:58,375 Not another word! 1091 01:08:58,541 --> 01:08:59,625 It's okay, officer. 1092 01:08:59,791 --> 01:09:02,375 I can't hear him! I can't see him! 1093 01:09:04,166 --> 01:09:07,208 -You back-stabbing bastard! -Can't hear you. 1094 01:09:07,375 --> 01:09:10,541 You scumbag! 1095 01:09:10,958 --> 01:09:12,541 Worthless shit! 1096 01:09:13,875 --> 01:09:15,583 That's right. 1097 01:09:16,291 --> 01:09:19,250 I know how it works now, too. Come on, open up. 1098 01:09:20,333 --> 01:09:21,916 If you wanna see your chick, 1099 01:09:22,083 --> 01:09:24,875 we've gotta get on, so go get the keys. 1100 01:09:25,458 --> 01:09:26,583 Fast! 1101 01:09:27,666 --> 01:09:29,583 It's so unfair... 1102 01:09:33,916 --> 01:09:35,875 You want a ride back to Paris? 1103 01:09:36,041 --> 01:09:38,458 -Beat it, traitor! -Come on, please. 1104 01:09:39,000 --> 01:09:40,458 C'mon Curtis... 1105 01:09:46,541 --> 01:09:48,208 Great car! 1106 01:09:51,208 --> 01:09:53,666 Bullshit! That's just fine. It's fine! 1107 01:10:27,583 --> 01:10:28,666 What's he driving? 1108 01:10:31,041 --> 01:10:32,250 You're speeding! 1109 01:10:37,208 --> 01:10:38,458 Floor it! 1110 01:10:38,875 --> 01:10:39,875 Third gear! 1111 01:10:41,500 --> 01:10:42,833 Let's go, Gervais! 1112 01:10:51,041 --> 01:10:53,833 Like when I shot at you, and always missed. 1113 01:10:54,000 --> 01:10:55,458 I did it on purpose! 1114 01:10:55,833 --> 01:10:57,791 Yes, on purpose, Curtis! 1115 01:10:57,958 --> 01:11:01,916 That's not the act of a traitor. Can you hear me? 1116 01:11:02,291 --> 01:11:03,500 Curtis? 1117 01:11:06,166 --> 01:11:09,916 Would a traitor guide you in traffic like I did? 1118 01:11:13,333 --> 01:11:15,625 I said "Keep going! 1119 01:11:15,791 --> 01:11:18,291 Stop, there's a truck coming!" 1120 01:11:19,250 --> 01:11:22,375 And the truck missed you, a bit like that game 1121 01:11:22,541 --> 01:11:25,083 when you have to move your frog. 1122 01:11:25,250 --> 01:11:28,791 It's like I was another frog saying... 1123 01:11:30,708 --> 01:11:31,583 And you... 1124 01:11:32,916 --> 01:11:35,166 You hop and dodge the cars. 1125 01:11:35,333 --> 01:11:39,750 A traitor would've said "C'mon, froggy, come, come". 1126 01:11:42,333 --> 01:11:43,500 Croak, my friend! 1127 01:11:43,666 --> 01:11:46,000 I'm sorry, but do you really think 1128 01:11:46,166 --> 01:11:49,583 you'd have told your real name to a traitor? 1129 01:11:51,791 --> 01:11:53,416 I'm shaking my head. 1130 01:11:53,583 --> 01:11:55,083 You wouldn't have said it. 1131 01:11:55,250 --> 01:11:57,583 And now I know your name is Mouloud... 1132 01:11:57,750 --> 01:11:59,416 It doesn't matter. 1133 01:11:59,583 --> 01:12:01,416 What matters is, you told me. 1134 01:12:01,583 --> 01:12:04,708 We need more people giving their real name 1135 01:12:04,875 --> 01:12:07,458 to traitors. Or friends. 1136 01:12:08,333 --> 01:12:11,041 -He's sick. - When we first met, we were... 1137 01:12:11,208 --> 01:12:14,291 acquaintances. Then we became... 1138 01:12:14,458 --> 01:12:16,500 Stop talking shit! 1139 01:12:16,666 --> 01:12:18,000 ... kind of buddies. 1140 01:12:18,166 --> 01:12:20,083 And now, we're real friends. 1141 01:12:20,500 --> 01:12:23,458 You've gotta trust me. I have an idea... 1142 01:12:23,625 --> 01:12:24,583 Shit, what's that? 1143 01:12:24,750 --> 01:12:26,458 FIRST WEDNESDAY OF THE MONTH ALARM 1144 01:12:26,833 --> 01:12:27,833 Curtis! 1145 01:12:28,291 --> 01:12:30,750 I'll be right back. Friendship is forever. 1146 01:12:33,166 --> 01:12:35,583 You're a total jerk! 1147 01:12:41,750 --> 01:12:43,625 Let go! 1148 01:12:54,375 --> 01:12:55,750 Hey, Curtis. 1149 01:12:55,916 --> 01:12:57,833 Sorry for the interruption. 1150 01:13:05,291 --> 01:13:07,916 If this works, my technique's infallible. 1151 01:13:09,000 --> 01:13:11,541 I'll patent it with the police. 1152 01:13:11,875 --> 01:13:13,875 Oh no, red light! 1153 01:13:14,708 --> 01:13:16,041 There he is! 1154 01:13:18,333 --> 01:13:19,750 He's up there, yes! 1155 01:13:19,916 --> 01:13:21,041 I knew it! 1156 01:13:21,208 --> 01:13:22,833 My technique works. 1157 01:13:23,000 --> 01:13:24,875 I knew it! 1158 01:13:34,500 --> 01:13:35,708 Damn! 1159 01:13:35,875 --> 01:13:38,000 What the hell's he doing here? 1160 01:13:38,541 --> 01:13:39,666 I came to apologize. 1161 01:13:39,833 --> 01:13:41,958 I'm sorry, Curtis. 1162 01:13:42,125 --> 01:13:45,250 You don't turn a friend into the cops, like I did. 1163 01:13:45,416 --> 01:13:46,708 Yeah, sure. 1164 01:13:46,875 --> 01:13:48,166 It's wrong. 1165 01:13:50,833 --> 01:13:52,708 I'm burning your file. 1166 01:13:53,250 --> 01:13:56,208 No more Curtis on file. He doesn't exist. 1167 01:13:56,375 --> 01:14:00,000 Abdelkader from Argenteuil, sure. He's a great guy. 1168 01:14:00,541 --> 01:14:03,333 But Curtis? Never met him, don't know him. 1169 01:14:04,541 --> 01:14:06,750 Torture me, I won't say a word. 1170 01:14:07,375 --> 01:14:09,000 There you go! He's gone. 1171 01:14:12,000 --> 01:14:13,083 He was an artist. 1172 01:14:13,833 --> 01:14:14,958 Art was he. 1173 01:14:15,750 --> 01:14:17,083 You're my mail man. 1174 01:14:18,791 --> 01:14:21,000 How did you find me here? 1175 01:14:21,166 --> 01:14:23,375 Thanks to my technique. It works! 1176 01:14:23,541 --> 01:14:26,125 I noticed that you like raps. 1177 01:14:26,291 --> 01:14:29,041 You like 50 Cent, and I know your favorite track. 1178 01:14:29,208 --> 01:14:32,416 Amusement Park . That leads to zoo. It's obvious. 1179 01:14:32,833 --> 01:14:36,041 Can you stop moving around, so we can talk? 1180 01:14:38,166 --> 01:14:40,375 That's a freaky technique you have. 1181 01:14:40,541 --> 01:14:42,708 How many doors has your building got? 1182 01:14:42,875 --> 01:14:45,708 Actually, it's like you. Pretty freaky. 1183 01:14:45,875 --> 01:14:47,791 Freaky guy, freaky technique. 1184 01:14:47,958 --> 01:14:49,041 It's cool 1185 01:14:49,500 --> 01:14:50,708 and you're cool. 1186 01:14:50,875 --> 01:14:52,791 I was hoping you'd say that. 1187 01:14:56,500 --> 01:14:59,250 Now the people will come back. 1188 01:15:02,458 --> 01:15:03,708 No, nobody's back. 1189 01:15:08,125 --> 01:15:10,416 Hold on, hold on. 1190 01:15:11,458 --> 01:15:12,458 Wait. 1191 01:15:14,250 --> 01:15:15,625 Give me a kiss. 1192 01:15:15,791 --> 01:15:16,750 Touch me! 1193 01:15:17,291 --> 01:15:18,416 Cut it out. 1194 01:15:18,583 --> 01:15:20,000 -What's this? -Caress me. 1195 01:15:20,166 --> 01:15:22,333 -What's this? -Who cares! Caress me. 1196 01:15:22,500 --> 01:15:25,083 -You're bullshitting me! -Why? 1197 01:15:25,250 --> 01:15:27,833 Pizzeria La Mozzarella! That's not my file! 1198 01:15:28,375 --> 01:15:29,875 The Happy Couscous... 1199 01:15:30,041 --> 01:15:32,583 -It's... -You just burned lunch bills. 1200 01:15:32,750 --> 01:15:36,625 La Chipolatax! You bullshitter, I've never eaten there! 1201 01:15:36,791 --> 01:15:37,916 Where's my file? 1202 01:15:38,291 --> 01:15:40,625 -Your file? -You idiot! 1203 01:15:40,791 --> 01:15:42,125 I've got it right here. 1204 01:15:42,750 --> 01:15:45,291 If you keep lying, nobody'll come back. 1205 01:15:45,458 --> 01:15:47,666 -I have it here. -So, burn it. 1206 01:15:48,750 --> 01:15:52,250 -I already burned one. -You said you'd burn that one. 1207 01:15:52,916 --> 01:15:54,625 You know, a fire... 1208 01:15:55,125 --> 01:15:56,416 Burn it! 1209 01:15:57,166 --> 01:15:58,500 I can't burn it. 1210 01:15:58,666 --> 01:16:00,375 -Tough shit. -Wait! 1211 01:16:05,375 --> 01:16:06,791 Great photo. 1212 01:16:09,375 --> 01:16:11,125 -Oh no... -There you go! 1213 01:16:11,750 --> 01:16:15,333 You're crazy! There are children here! 1214 01:16:15,500 --> 01:16:17,208 Completely crazy! 1215 01:16:17,791 --> 01:16:20,375 -What, sweetie? -Look, it's your friend! 1216 01:16:20,541 --> 01:16:21,875 Hey, bros, it's Curtis! 1217 01:16:22,041 --> 01:16:23,291 Grab him! 1218 01:16:23,458 --> 01:16:24,750 Leave him to me! 1219 01:16:24,916 --> 01:16:27,833 We've been looking for you. Throw him to the lions. 1220 01:16:28,000 --> 01:16:29,458 See you, Curtis... 1221 01:16:30,000 --> 01:16:31,291 Is he your friend? 1222 01:16:31,875 --> 01:16:33,666 -Is he your buddy? -I'm just passing by. 1223 01:16:33,833 --> 01:16:35,625 -Get outta here! -I was about to. 1224 01:16:35,791 --> 01:16:37,041 Motherfucker! 1225 01:16:37,208 --> 01:16:39,916 You traitor! You're a real traitor! 1226 01:16:48,541 --> 01:16:50,500 What the hell is this? 1227 01:16:51,083 --> 01:16:52,500 Where's everybody gone? 1228 01:16:52,875 --> 01:16:54,750 -Run! -Where's he going? 1229 01:16:54,916 --> 01:16:55,791 Get him! 1230 01:16:57,375 --> 01:16:58,416 This way! 1231 01:16:58,583 --> 01:17:01,791 -You'll slow me down! -Together, we'll find the solution. 1232 01:17:04,250 --> 01:17:05,291 Leave me... 1233 01:17:11,875 --> 01:17:13,541 -Get him! -He's mine! 1234 01:17:16,791 --> 01:17:18,416 My chicken's coming up. 1235 01:17:18,583 --> 01:17:20,208 I'll slow you down. 1236 01:17:20,375 --> 01:17:21,250 Go get him. 1237 01:17:21,416 --> 01:17:22,750 Come on! 1238 01:17:23,541 --> 01:17:25,250 You've got the fork. 1239 01:17:25,416 --> 01:17:26,750 Prong him! 1240 01:17:44,958 --> 01:17:46,541 Come on, Gervais. 1241 01:17:46,708 --> 01:17:48,208 We haven't got all day! 1242 01:17:49,125 --> 01:17:50,500 They're catching us! 1243 01:17:52,375 --> 01:17:55,458 -Jump, dammit! -Go ahead. I'll hold them back. 1244 01:17:55,625 --> 01:17:57,416 I can't hear. Come here and say it. 1245 01:17:57,583 --> 01:17:59,083 I can't! 1246 01:17:59,250 --> 01:18:00,750 Come on, Gervais! 1247 01:18:05,875 --> 01:18:07,000 Everybody! 1248 01:18:07,750 --> 01:18:09,166 There isn't anybody. 1249 01:18:13,041 --> 01:18:15,333 C'mon, you gotta want it! 1250 01:18:20,125 --> 01:18:21,416 There you go! 1251 01:18:22,458 --> 01:18:24,166 Straighten up. 1252 01:18:24,333 --> 01:18:25,791 Your abs. Push! 1253 01:18:25,958 --> 01:18:28,125 Straighten up. 1254 01:18:28,916 --> 01:18:29,958 You can do it. 1255 01:18:41,625 --> 01:18:43,458 Kick its ass! 1256 01:18:50,875 --> 01:18:52,333 What's going on? You jumped? 1257 01:18:52,500 --> 01:18:54,166 Why'd you jump? 1258 01:18:55,875 --> 01:18:58,500 You're lucky! Last week, I was delivering cactuses. 1259 01:19:04,541 --> 01:19:07,416 Must be some kind of passage 1260 01:19:07,583 --> 01:19:08,833 in space and time. 1261 01:19:09,416 --> 01:19:11,208 I'll follow them. 1262 01:19:12,458 --> 01:19:14,666 -Are you sure? -Watch me as I disappear. 1263 01:19:14,833 --> 01:19:16,833 First, we should check... 1264 01:19:20,583 --> 01:19:22,708 I can still see you. Is that normal? 1265 01:19:26,166 --> 01:19:27,750 Blanchette? 1266 01:19:30,916 --> 01:19:32,458 Want me to come with you? 1267 01:19:33,750 --> 01:19:36,541 What are you gonna do? Where are you going? 1268 01:19:37,041 --> 01:19:40,791 You have a job, a wedding, a wife, lots of things to do. 1269 01:19:40,958 --> 01:19:43,166 See you, my friend! 1270 01:19:43,333 --> 01:19:44,666 "Arriverdacioni!" 1271 01:19:44,833 --> 01:19:47,125 What about the Bouglionis? 1272 01:19:47,875 --> 01:19:50,500 I'm gonna take the first flight out of here. 1273 01:19:50,666 --> 01:19:53,041 I'm an artist. Send me anywhere, I'm fine. 1274 01:19:53,208 --> 01:19:55,541 I get by anywhere. Take care! 1275 01:19:55,708 --> 01:19:56,875 See ya! 1276 01:19:58,750 --> 01:20:00,583 Don't you wanna come to my wedding? 1277 01:20:00,750 --> 01:20:02,541 -When is it? -Saturday. 1278 01:20:02,708 --> 01:20:05,000 I'll be dead by then! The Bouglionis 1279 01:20:05,166 --> 01:20:07,291 could be at my place with guns. 1280 01:20:07,458 --> 01:20:08,708 What's wrong with you? 1281 01:20:08,875 --> 01:20:12,458 The Bouglionis decide if and where you stay in France? 1282 01:20:12,625 --> 01:20:15,875 I'm sorry! In the birthplace of human rights, the land of 1283 01:20:16,041 --> 01:20:19,000 Danton, Barbra Streisand, Robespierre! 1284 01:20:19,166 --> 01:20:21,708 This country's gonna go down on you, bro! 1285 01:20:21,875 --> 01:20:24,583 -You mean, be down with me. -Yeah, be down. 1286 01:20:26,583 --> 01:20:27,958 We'll find a solution. 1287 01:20:28,125 --> 01:20:29,625 I ain't got one now. 1288 01:20:29,791 --> 01:20:30,833 -Ain't got what? -One. 1289 01:20:31,000 --> 01:20:32,416 -What's that mean? -Pass. 1290 01:20:32,583 --> 01:20:34,041 You say, I ain't got none! 1291 01:20:34,208 --> 01:20:35,708 I ain't got none solution. 1292 01:20:35,875 --> 01:20:38,833 Still got the paintings you stole from the Louvre? 1293 01:20:39,000 --> 01:20:40,458 That I borrowed, sure. 1294 01:20:40,625 --> 01:20:41,666 Leave this to me. 1295 01:20:42,625 --> 01:20:45,833 I know who did it. I know where the paintings are. 1296 01:20:46,500 --> 01:20:49,208 You found them using your famous technique? 1297 01:20:49,375 --> 01:20:51,083 That's right! 1298 01:20:51,250 --> 01:20:54,541 Let me try to grasp your skills of deduction. 1299 01:20:54,916 --> 01:20:57,750 Now, let's see. Paintings, Louvre... 1300 01:20:58,583 --> 01:21:02,291 canvas, tents. They're camping in the woods, right? 1301 01:21:07,041 --> 01:21:07,958 You find it funny? 1302 01:21:08,125 --> 01:21:11,125 If I'm not taken seriously, I wonder what use I am? 1303 01:21:11,583 --> 01:21:13,541 Not much, to be honest. 1304 01:21:14,375 --> 01:21:17,041 Is that funny, too? Really? 1305 01:21:18,333 --> 01:21:19,958 I have a question. 1306 01:21:20,666 --> 01:21:23,458 Can I have just one last chance? 1307 01:21:23,625 --> 01:21:24,500 Sure! 1308 01:21:24,666 --> 01:21:25,916 What does it say here? 1309 01:21:26,666 --> 01:21:28,791 It's too far, I can't read it. 1310 01:21:30,875 --> 01:21:34,333 Apparently, I'm the only one taking this seriously. 1311 01:21:34,500 --> 01:21:37,083 I know where they're hidden, but so what? 1312 01:21:37,250 --> 01:21:39,833 You don't have a monopoly on gravity! 1313 01:21:40,000 --> 01:21:43,208 You decide what's serious and what isn't? 1314 01:21:43,375 --> 01:21:46,375 I know serious, compared to what you think is serious. 1315 01:21:46,833 --> 01:21:47,708 What? 1316 01:21:50,416 --> 01:21:52,916 Report to my office right now! 1317 01:21:53,083 --> 01:21:54,291 Get back to work! 1318 01:21:55,000 --> 01:21:58,083 -How was I? -Very good, captain. 1319 01:21:58,250 --> 01:21:59,291 Work! 1320 01:21:59,458 --> 01:22:01,291 Thanks, cap... 1321 01:22:03,416 --> 01:22:05,125 I'm going to see the captain! 1322 01:22:08,083 --> 01:22:10,166 In fact, we're the ones who disappear. 1323 01:22:10,333 --> 01:22:12,416 The world's still out there. 1324 01:22:12,583 --> 01:22:13,541 Juliette's out there. 1325 01:22:13,708 --> 01:22:15,541 That's the thing. 1326 01:22:15,708 --> 01:22:18,375 -That's why my plan will work. -Sure... 1327 01:22:18,916 --> 01:22:21,083 If we do the hard work first. 1328 01:22:21,250 --> 01:22:23,083 Don't worry. 1329 01:22:23,541 --> 01:22:27,416 Have I ever let you down? One single time? 1330 01:22:27,833 --> 01:22:29,041 You're joking? 1331 01:22:30,208 --> 01:22:32,041 You're talking about... 1332 01:22:32,208 --> 01:22:33,625 That was before. 1333 01:22:33,791 --> 01:22:37,041 Curtis. Now, we're a crew. 1334 01:22:37,208 --> 01:22:39,666 You're my honey. 1335 01:22:42,041 --> 01:22:43,833 What does that mean? 1336 01:22:44,375 --> 01:22:47,000 -I'm your honey? -You never heard it? 1337 01:22:47,166 --> 01:22:49,166 See, I'm the pork... 1338 01:22:49,333 --> 01:22:50,541 A bit chewy. 1339 01:22:50,708 --> 01:22:54,458 And with a nice honey glaze... 1340 01:22:54,625 --> 01:22:55,916 Or a... 1341 01:22:56,083 --> 01:22:58,791 Homie, you mean. You say you're my homie. 1342 01:22:58,958 --> 01:23:00,708 We're homies. 1343 01:23:00,875 --> 01:23:03,291 Hey, homie! Not hey, honey! 1344 01:23:03,958 --> 01:23:05,041 Sweet and sour... 1345 01:23:06,625 --> 01:23:07,500 Curry! 1346 01:23:11,333 --> 01:23:14,541 -I think that's it. -You're my sugar and spice! 1347 01:23:15,375 --> 01:23:17,250 You say that often, or just to me? 1348 01:23:18,166 --> 01:23:19,750 It's way coolio. 1349 01:23:19,916 --> 01:23:21,041 Coolio's a rapper. 1350 01:23:21,208 --> 01:23:22,166 No kidding? 1351 01:23:22,333 --> 01:23:23,791 You say, It's way cool... 1352 01:23:23,958 --> 01:23:24,875 Yo! 1353 01:23:25,416 --> 01:23:26,458 I love rap. 1354 01:23:26,625 --> 01:23:27,500 It shows. 1355 01:23:47,666 --> 01:23:48,541 Ma'am. 1356 01:23:48,708 --> 01:23:51,000 Hide in back, he won't be long. 1357 01:23:51,166 --> 01:23:52,083 Okay. 1358 01:23:52,416 --> 01:23:54,250 Are we having hors d'oeuvres? 1359 01:23:54,416 --> 01:23:55,333 He's coming? 1360 01:23:55,708 --> 01:23:57,166 After what I promised him. 1361 01:23:58,833 --> 01:24:00,208 She's our guarantee. 1362 01:24:09,625 --> 01:24:10,958 I don't understand. 1363 01:24:11,125 --> 01:24:12,750 When I whistle, he comes running. 1364 01:24:12,916 --> 01:24:16,000 Usually, Curtis is the punctual type 1365 01:24:16,166 --> 01:24:18,375 or a bit of a late-comer? 1366 01:24:18,541 --> 01:24:20,208 Ma'am the antique dealer? 1367 01:24:21,791 --> 01:24:24,625 Change of plan. Meet me at 14, Rue du Temple. 1368 01:24:46,916 --> 01:24:50,250 Big up to the Quadricolors, 1369 01:24:50,958 --> 01:24:53,458 who are performing at the Galaxy 1370 01:24:54,041 --> 01:24:55,458 on the 21st. 1371 01:24:55,833 --> 01:24:57,708 Is that right, the 21st? 1372 01:24:58,875 --> 01:24:59,833 Where's my damn phone? 1373 01:25:00,000 --> 01:25:01,083 Gervais. 1374 01:25:01,958 --> 01:25:03,125 Juliette. 1375 01:25:03,625 --> 01:25:05,000 Before I pronounce you 1376 01:25:05,750 --> 01:25:07,791 husband and wife, I ask the congregation 1377 01:25:08,625 --> 01:25:12,208 if anyone opposes your marriage. 1378 01:25:12,375 --> 01:25:13,708 Me! 1379 01:25:13,875 --> 01:25:16,125 I oppose... 1380 01:25:18,583 --> 01:25:19,833 this funeral? 1381 01:25:20,583 --> 01:25:22,083 Isn't this Rue du Temple? 1382 01:25:24,375 --> 01:25:26,666 Seventy-four. 1383 01:25:26,833 --> 01:25:28,125 Seventy-four. 1384 01:25:28,291 --> 01:25:29,375 I wanted 14! 1385 01:25:30,166 --> 01:25:31,375 -Sorry. -No problem. 1386 01:25:31,541 --> 01:25:32,833 Enjoy! Goodbye. 1387 01:25:33,000 --> 01:25:34,458 I'll close it gently. 1388 01:25:35,916 --> 01:25:38,833 Those who knew Guy-Patrick 1389 01:25:39,541 --> 01:25:41,875 say he enjoyed the simple life. 1390 01:25:42,041 --> 01:25:44,666 I'll ram his stupid truck up his ass! 1391 01:25:44,833 --> 01:25:48,333 He's allowed to deliver in Paris from 7:30 - 12:30. 1392 01:25:48,500 --> 01:25:51,875 It's 12:25, so he's within his rights. 1393 01:25:52,208 --> 01:25:54,875 If you want, I can check he's legal. 1394 01:25:55,541 --> 01:25:59,583 But Guy-Patrick partook of more sophisticated pleasures, 1395 01:25:59,750 --> 01:26:02,250 particularly at night in Pigalle, 1396 01:26:02,416 --> 01:26:06,250 where he was known as The Admiral after midnight 1397 01:26:06,416 --> 01:26:09,166 or Michette after two in the morning. 1398 01:26:09,333 --> 01:26:10,958 He had his permit. 1399 01:26:11,125 --> 01:26:13,416 I shivved him, so we can get by. 1400 01:26:13,583 --> 01:26:14,500 Let's go. 1401 01:26:15,125 --> 01:26:16,458 Guy-Patrick was love. 1402 01:26:16,625 --> 01:26:18,458 He was, therefore, spiritual love. 1403 01:26:18,625 --> 01:26:21,833 But what would love be without giving of one's body? 1404 01:26:22,000 --> 01:26:23,750 Guy-Patrick truly gave of his body... 1405 01:26:23,916 --> 01:26:25,083 Curtis! 1406 01:26:25,250 --> 01:26:27,333 I'll smoke ya! 1407 01:26:28,500 --> 01:26:29,791 Is he here? 1408 01:26:30,333 --> 01:26:32,750 He's not here. We've got the wrong edifice. 1409 01:26:32,916 --> 01:26:35,000 This is very trying... 1410 01:26:35,166 --> 01:26:38,291 Our apologies. Have a good mass! 1411 01:26:39,041 --> 01:26:41,333 Gervais, Juliette. 1412 01:26:42,458 --> 01:26:46,083 You have come before the Lord today 1413 01:26:46,625 --> 01:26:49,333 to manifest your mutual love. 1414 01:26:50,083 --> 01:26:52,500 -Mutual, my ass! -I beg your pardon! 1415 01:26:52,666 --> 01:26:54,333 Not him! 1416 01:26:55,166 --> 01:26:57,208 Cool it. Pretend I'm not here. 1417 01:26:57,375 --> 01:26:58,750 Sorry. 1418 01:26:58,916 --> 01:27:00,666 Mr. Gervais Blondot. 1419 01:27:02,166 --> 01:27:05,750 Do you take as your lawful wedded wife Juliette Fragnaud? 1420 01:27:05,916 --> 01:27:06,958 Alias The Skank! 1421 01:27:08,625 --> 01:27:09,500 Sir. 1422 01:27:09,666 --> 01:27:12,375 -I do. -Does she want him? 1423 01:27:13,625 --> 01:27:14,958 What a moo cow! 1424 01:27:15,125 --> 01:27:16,583 Jesus! 1425 01:27:16,750 --> 01:27:19,666 -Say something! -Keep going. 1426 01:27:19,833 --> 01:27:21,583 A cow for a pig, not bad! 1427 01:27:22,250 --> 01:27:23,416 That's enough! 1428 01:27:24,666 --> 01:27:25,791 Cool it! 1429 01:27:25,958 --> 01:27:27,916 You agree, but you won't admit it. 1430 01:27:28,083 --> 01:27:29,791 Never saw such a dirty freak! 1431 01:27:29,958 --> 01:27:31,333 You're too early! 1432 01:27:31,500 --> 01:27:33,541 -The Bouglionis aren't here. -You said... 1433 01:27:33,708 --> 01:27:34,958 It's okay, Dad. 1434 01:27:35,125 --> 01:27:36,000 He's a friend. 1435 01:27:36,166 --> 01:27:37,250 -Hello. -Dad. 1436 01:27:37,416 --> 01:27:38,458 This is a church. 1437 01:27:39,333 --> 01:27:40,541 -The Lord is here. -Where? 1438 01:27:40,708 --> 01:27:43,000 It's your friend's wedding. 1439 01:27:43,166 --> 01:27:44,583 Sorry about this, dear. 1440 01:27:44,750 --> 01:27:45,833 -It's great. -Sit down. 1441 01:27:46,000 --> 01:27:47,666 I know I can trust you. 1442 01:27:48,208 --> 01:27:49,666 Just a second, dear. 1443 01:27:49,833 --> 01:27:51,375 Sit down and wait. 1444 01:27:51,541 --> 01:27:53,250 -For my signal. -Which is? 1445 01:27:54,041 --> 01:27:55,125 That's the signal. 1446 01:28:00,166 --> 01:28:02,208 Miss Juliette Sagnaud. 1447 01:28:02,375 --> 01:28:04,750 -Do you take as your... -I do! 1448 01:28:04,916 --> 01:28:07,041 She said she does. 1449 01:28:08,041 --> 01:28:10,541 I declare you joined in holy matrimony. 1450 01:28:11,500 --> 01:28:12,958 Ah, thank you. 1451 01:28:13,125 --> 01:28:14,250 With a whore! 1452 01:28:15,208 --> 01:28:16,458 Gervais, attack! 1453 01:28:16,625 --> 01:28:18,541 A total slut! 1454 01:28:18,708 --> 01:28:20,625 You stupid asshole! 1455 01:28:21,791 --> 01:28:24,541 My wife isn't a whore! 1456 01:28:27,375 --> 01:28:28,375 Curtis! 1457 01:28:30,208 --> 01:28:31,833 Stop it! They're here! 1458 01:28:32,000 --> 01:28:33,750 Hit me! Hit me! 1459 01:28:36,375 --> 01:28:39,625 They were there. Now, they've vanished! 1460 01:28:39,791 --> 01:28:42,291 -Where are they? -They just vanished! 1461 01:28:46,333 --> 01:28:47,791 It's a miracle! 1462 01:28:47,958 --> 01:28:49,125 You fucking with me? 1463 01:28:49,291 --> 01:28:50,583 Freeze! 1464 01:28:50,750 --> 01:28:51,875 Mercy! 1465 01:28:52,250 --> 01:28:53,958 I'll give you a miracle. 1466 01:28:55,875 --> 01:28:58,875 We're going to jail. Mercy! 1467 01:28:59,041 --> 01:29:01,833 Excuse me, is this 74, Rue du... 1468 01:29:03,375 --> 01:29:06,583 What the hell? Are you crazy? That's my leg! 1469 01:29:06,750 --> 01:29:10,875 I'm the best man! I'm Gervais's best man! 1470 01:29:11,541 --> 01:29:14,333 You're totally fucking nuts! 1471 01:29:14,500 --> 01:29:16,666 Is it illegal to be late now? 1472 01:29:16,833 --> 01:29:18,708 Don't move! 1473 01:29:18,875 --> 01:29:20,875 -Screw you! -Don't move! 1474 01:29:23,458 --> 01:29:24,791 My legs have gone numb! 1475 01:29:24,958 --> 01:29:26,583 I can see a white light. 1476 01:29:26,750 --> 01:29:29,916 Mommy, Daddy, you're there, by the apple tree. 1477 01:29:31,208 --> 01:29:32,250 A whore! 1478 01:29:33,375 --> 01:29:34,583 What about it? 1479 01:29:34,750 --> 01:29:36,208 You called my wife a whore! 1480 01:29:36,375 --> 01:29:38,125 That? Chill... 1481 01:29:38,291 --> 01:29:41,125 Look, it worked. There's nobody here. 1482 01:29:42,000 --> 01:29:44,291 I love it. 1483 01:29:44,458 --> 01:29:47,250 I'd love to see the Bouglionis' faces. 1484 01:29:47,416 --> 01:29:48,916 Do you realize what you said? 1485 01:29:49,083 --> 01:29:50,833 Stop whining. You wrote it. 1486 01:29:51,000 --> 01:29:54,583 No, your line was "This is a chumps' wedding!" 1487 01:29:54,750 --> 01:29:57,125 And I go wild and freak out. 1488 01:29:58,333 --> 01:30:00,958 But no! You had to add the W-word. 1489 01:30:01,125 --> 01:30:02,083 Whore! 1490 01:30:02,791 --> 01:30:04,041 I didn't mean it. 1491 01:30:04,208 --> 01:30:06,583 And total slut! What's she gonna think of me? 1492 01:30:06,750 --> 01:30:08,291 You'll have fun. 1493 01:30:10,708 --> 01:30:12,458 You wanna see your wife again? 1494 01:30:15,250 --> 01:30:16,250 C'mon! 1495 01:30:16,833 --> 01:30:17,875 There you go! 1496 01:30:19,166 --> 01:30:22,041 You don't really mean it. You know how it works... 1497 01:30:22,208 --> 01:30:24,500 Like that. That's right. 1498 01:30:25,125 --> 01:30:26,875 -It won't work. -Try! 1499 01:30:27,041 --> 01:30:28,875 You're not making an effort. 1500 01:30:32,125 --> 01:30:33,541 Seen my little brother? 1501 01:30:34,041 --> 01:30:36,041 -That's better. -Got ya! 1502 01:30:38,000 --> 01:30:38,875 Darling! 1503 01:30:42,375 --> 01:30:44,333 Abdelkader, take care. 1504 01:30:44,500 --> 01:30:45,708 Have fun, she's stunning! 1505 01:30:45,875 --> 01:30:46,958 Don't do anything silly. 1506 01:30:47,125 --> 01:30:48,875 You'll never hear of me again. 1507 01:30:49,041 --> 01:30:50,750 -You rat! -Yes? 1508 01:30:50,916 --> 01:30:52,125 You snitch! 1509 01:30:52,291 --> 01:30:54,083 You sneaky bastard! 1510 01:30:54,250 --> 01:30:55,875 Sure, but not very... 1511 01:30:56,041 --> 01:30:58,916 -I'll ice you and your family. -Like it. Good French. 1512 01:30:59,083 --> 01:31:00,375 -Good. -You faggot! 1513 01:31:00,541 --> 01:31:02,833 Buy a dictionary in jail. 1514 01:31:05,750 --> 01:31:07,125 Hey, you! 1515 01:31:07,958 --> 01:31:09,708 My name's Abdelkader, so what? 1516 01:31:11,125 --> 01:31:13,208 What do you want with me? 1517 01:31:15,125 --> 01:31:17,416 Look how fancy you are! May I have one? 1518 01:31:37,291 --> 01:31:40,333 BASED ON REAL-LIFE EVENTS IN NEVADA, 1964 1519 01:33:07,375 --> 01:33:08,541 Yo, bro! 1520 01:33:10,416 --> 01:33:11,791 I won't leave you. 1521 01:33:13,166 --> 01:33:15,375 I'll finish my smoke and be right there. 1522 01:33:20,208 --> 01:33:21,625 Open up for me. 1523 01:34:15,666 --> 01:34:18,166 Now, we come to the masterpiece 1524 01:34:18,333 --> 01:34:19,458 of my exhibit. 1525 01:34:19,625 --> 01:34:23,291 France's finest architectural works. 1526 01:34:23,666 --> 01:34:26,333 That's right, I'm an art buff. 1527 01:34:29,000 --> 01:34:31,208 The pediment of Deauville cathedral. 1528 01:34:33,208 --> 01:34:35,708 Then we have the Toulon archipelago. 1529 01:34:36,083 --> 01:34:37,875 Like a small island, only longer? 1530 01:34:38,041 --> 01:34:42,083 No, like a chapel, only made of Lego. 1531 01:34:42,250 --> 01:34:45,166 -That's worse. -It's worth a fortune. 1532 01:34:46,708 --> 01:34:49,041 Are we going too fast? You miss anything? 1533 01:34:49,458 --> 01:34:51,750 We're not exactly racing. 1534 01:34:51,916 --> 01:34:54,041 It's just the right speed. 1535 01:34:54,208 --> 01:34:56,583 Look! Isn't that beautiful? The grain... 1536 01:34:57,583 --> 01:35:00,083 Are you into art at all, or not? 1537 01:35:00,625 --> 01:35:03,333 It's all in stone. Now, if it was wood... 1538 01:35:03,500 --> 01:35:04,791 -You're into wood? -Yes. 1539 01:35:04,958 --> 01:35:06,833 The Woody Corner is over there. 1540 01:35:07,000 --> 01:35:09,083 We'll be there within an hour. 1541 01:35:09,250 --> 01:35:11,083 Watch out! 1542 01:35:19,583 --> 01:35:20,833 Eyes on the road! 1543 01:35:21,000 --> 01:35:22,708 Lucky you saw that. 1544 01:35:22,875 --> 01:35:25,416 That close! We were that close! 1545 01:35:26,958 --> 01:35:29,125 It's dumb. We're stuck now. 1546 01:35:29,875 --> 01:35:32,250 We won't get to see everything. 1547 01:35:33,541 --> 01:35:35,166 -You touch it? -No, it's okay. 1548 01:35:35,333 --> 01:35:36,416 Lucky escape. 1549 01:35:37,583 --> 01:35:39,541 Let me direct you. 1550 01:35:43,833 --> 01:35:44,958 Drive. 1551 01:35:45,833 --> 01:35:47,083 No, wait! 1552 01:36:50,083 --> 01:36:52,250 ... for Pierre and Marie Curie 1553 01:36:52,416 --> 01:36:54,250 Subtitle translation by Simon John 95044

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