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1
00:00:04,738 --> 00:00:06,674
(Birds chirp)
2
00:00:06,707 --> 00:00:08,309
Alexis: Okay,
so I'm thinking like,
3
00:00:08,342 --> 00:00:09,743
season five Carrie Bradshaw,
4
00:00:09,777 --> 00:00:11,712
like, super professional
and polished,
5
00:00:11,745 --> 00:00:13,147
but also like,
chill and flirty
6
00:00:13,181 --> 00:00:15,149
in an impossibly expensive
sort of way.
7
00:00:15,183 --> 00:00:17,251
- You do know that this
is your first day
8
00:00:17,285 --> 00:00:20,321
at Elmdale College,
and not Vogue, right?
9
00:00:20,354 --> 00:00:22,123
- Hush David,
10
00:00:22,156 --> 00:00:24,425
because Jocelyn said that only
her top students go to Elmdale.
11
00:00:24,458 --> 00:00:26,494
- Okay, I think that says more
about Jocelyn as a teacher
12
00:00:26,527 --> 00:00:28,362
than it does her students.
13
00:00:28,396 --> 00:00:30,331
- Kids, it's garbage day.
14
00:00:30,364 --> 00:00:32,266
- Oh good, ours is full.
15
00:00:32,300 --> 00:00:34,335
- Okay, I've told you both
a thousand times,
16
00:00:34,368 --> 00:00:37,105
tie up the bags and leave them
outside your door!
17
00:00:37,138 --> 00:00:39,207
- Okay, but I like,
just put something in it
18
00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:41,109
that made it full, though.
19
00:00:41,142 --> 00:00:44,378
- Yeah, and you're already
wearing your little gloves,
though.
20
00:00:44,412 --> 00:00:46,714
Okay, do me a favour, David,
and don't mention this to dad,
21
00:00:46,747 --> 00:00:48,616
'cause I haven't chosen
my courses yet,
22
00:00:48,649 --> 00:00:50,351
and if he finds out he's
just gonna like, buzz around
23
00:00:50,384 --> 00:00:51,785
until I ask him his opinion.
24
00:00:51,819 --> 00:00:53,787
And no offence to him,
but I don't want it.
25
00:00:53,821 --> 00:00:56,090
- This is the same college
where Malala gave
26
00:00:56,124 --> 00:00:58,192
that devastating commencement
speech, right?
27
00:00:58,226 --> 00:01:00,694
- I don't know, David,
maybe he did.
28
00:01:00,728 --> 00:01:03,097
Anyway, I have a lot
of big changes
29
00:01:03,131 --> 00:01:04,598
happening in my life right now,
30
00:01:04,632 --> 00:01:06,400
so I'd appreciate it if you
were a little bit more onside.
31
00:01:06,434 --> 00:01:07,801
- Okay.
32
00:01:07,835 --> 00:01:09,370
(Door opens and shuts)
33
00:01:11,339 --> 00:01:14,142
- Where'd Alexis go?
- She went for a run,
34
00:01:14,175 --> 00:01:15,609
apparently there are some
really big changes
35
00:01:15,643 --> 00:01:17,145
happening in her life
right now.
36
00:01:17,178 --> 00:01:19,480
- Yeah, I should say so.
37
00:01:19,513 --> 00:01:21,449
- Why are you waving
a thermometer in my face?
38
00:01:21,482 --> 00:01:24,785
- It's a pregnancy test.
- Ewww! What?!
39
00:01:27,188 --> 00:01:31,125
♪♪♪
40
00:01:33,327 --> 00:01:34,795
- Well, it's a smiley face,
41
00:01:34,828 --> 00:01:36,797
so I'm assuming
it's a positive result.
42
00:01:36,830 --> 00:01:38,332
- Well, that's presumptuous.
43
00:01:38,366 --> 00:01:40,868
- Are we a 100% sure it's hers?
44
00:01:40,901 --> 00:01:43,837
- Well, this test
is a 100% sure it's someone's!
45
00:01:46,207 --> 00:01:48,542
- Oh, are you serious?
I was ready to stop after one!
46
00:01:48,576 --> 00:01:50,211
- Come to think of it,
47
00:01:50,244 --> 00:01:52,180
she has been very up
and down lately,
48
00:01:52,213 --> 00:01:53,881
but I've been just chalking
that up to the fact
49
00:01:53,914 --> 00:01:56,417
that her personal life is like
a steaming pile of--
50
00:01:56,450 --> 00:01:59,287
- Someone needs to talk to her!
- Well, don't look at me,
51
00:01:59,320 --> 00:02:01,489
I'm pretty sure she already
knows it's a mistake!
52
00:02:01,522 --> 00:02:03,191
- No, I'll talk to her.
53
00:02:03,224 --> 00:02:05,926
Yes, I'll tell her she has
no right to lay
54
00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:09,697
this financial and
psychological burden on us!
55
00:02:09,730 --> 00:02:12,300
- Well, maybe I'll talk
to her...
56
00:02:12,333 --> 00:02:14,402
- Now she has to move into one
of those homes
57
00:02:14,435 --> 00:02:17,738
for unwed mothers!
- Oh my God, imagine?
58
00:02:17,771 --> 00:02:19,407
- Moira, that's not gonna
happen.
59
00:02:19,440 --> 00:02:20,874
- Oh, I'm sure there
are plenty of them
60
00:02:20,908 --> 00:02:22,576
on this side of the tracks.
61
00:02:22,610 --> 00:02:24,745
Let the nuns take care
of the little stranger!
62
00:02:24,778 --> 00:02:27,915
- What Alexis needs now is to
feel supported by her family!
63
00:02:27,948 --> 00:02:29,583
- Hah!
- Okay.
64
00:02:29,617 --> 00:02:32,420
Um, I'm just gonna say it,
I am not in a place right now
65
00:02:32,453 --> 00:02:34,655
to be emotionally available
to a baby.
66
00:02:34,688 --> 00:02:36,757
- You know I'm a little
disappointed in you, David,
67
00:02:36,790 --> 00:02:38,692
you spend a lot of time
with Alexis,
68
00:02:38,726 --> 00:02:40,861
you could've done a better job
looking out for her!
69
00:02:40,894 --> 00:02:43,697
- Okay, I'm sorry
I'm not a condom.
70
00:02:43,731 --> 00:02:46,534
- Aaaah! I always knew
this would happen!
71
00:02:47,935 --> 00:02:49,703
Oh, God help us all.
72
00:02:52,340 --> 00:02:54,308
- Okay, I just think I'm in
a state of shock right now,
73
00:02:54,342 --> 00:02:56,310
you know, the news
was very numbing,
74
00:02:56,344 --> 00:03:00,481
and I'm feeling very alone.
- Mhmm. Mm!
75
00:03:00,514 --> 00:03:02,416
Imagine how Alexis must feel.
76
00:03:02,450 --> 00:03:03,751
- Yeah, I haven't spoken to her.
77
00:03:03,784 --> 00:03:06,454
- Huh. Remind what this is
again?
78
00:03:06,487 --> 00:03:08,989
- That is a eucalyptus
under eye serum.
79
00:03:09,022 --> 00:03:10,758
- Mhmm...
80
00:03:10,791 --> 00:03:12,726
and remind me why you can't
apply it to yourself?
81
00:03:12,760 --> 00:03:15,529
- Because it requires
a steady hand,
82
00:03:15,563 --> 00:03:17,431
and I'm going through
a lot right now.
83
00:03:17,465 --> 00:03:20,368
- Right...
(Bell on door jingles)
84
00:03:20,401 --> 00:03:22,370
- Hi, I was looking
for some uh--
85
00:03:22,403 --> 00:03:24,238
- Yeah, we don't sell that.
86
00:03:24,272 --> 00:03:26,574
- Bath salts?
- We actually do sell those.
87
00:03:26,607 --> 00:03:28,609
They're on the middle shelf,
just over there.
88
00:03:28,642 --> 00:03:30,244
I'll be over to help you
in a second.
89
00:03:30,278 --> 00:03:32,646
- Okay, between Alexis
getting knocked up,
90
00:03:32,680 --> 00:03:36,016
and us not having enough
privacy to connect,
91
00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:37,951
I'm feeling very shaken.
92
00:03:37,985 --> 00:03:39,687
- Do you think you're gonna
make it, though?
93
00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:41,255
- Unclear.
94
00:03:41,289 --> 00:03:42,690
Unclear on whether I'm gonna
make it through or not.
95
00:03:42,723 --> 00:03:44,392
- Hang in there.
96
00:03:47,795 --> 00:03:51,265
Moira: Jocelyn, oh, I seem to
have left my sunglasses behind,
97
00:03:51,299 --> 00:03:53,567
you haven't discovered them
amidst your cleaning, have you?
98
00:03:53,601 --> 00:03:55,803
- You mean, the ones on top
of your head?
99
00:03:55,836 --> 00:03:58,406
- And there they are.
- (Laughs)
100
00:03:58,439 --> 00:04:00,641
- And I'm off, then.
101
00:04:00,674 --> 00:04:03,511
- Moira, is everything
all right?
102
00:04:03,544 --> 00:04:05,879
You seem a little
distracted today.
103
00:04:05,913 --> 00:04:07,981
- No, I'm-I'm just a little
distracted today.
104
00:04:08,015 --> 00:04:10,050
- I'm having one of those
days myself.
105
00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:11,952
- We're in the midst
of a family crisis,
106
00:04:11,985 --> 00:04:13,821
if you must know!
107
00:04:13,854 --> 00:04:16,757
- Well, I don't wanna pry, so--
- Well, you've cracked me open.
108
00:04:16,790 --> 00:04:20,060
Alexis is pregnant.
- What?
109
00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:24,332
- I know! We discovered the
test in her bathroom today.
110
00:04:24,365 --> 00:04:27,000
- You did?
- And to think when I awoke,
111
00:04:27,034 --> 00:04:29,370
my biggest concern
was how to make
112
00:04:29,403 --> 00:04:30,904
that ragtime medley
of yours work.
113
00:04:30,938 --> 00:04:32,340
- Uh huh...
114
00:04:32,373 --> 00:04:35,075
- It's just flagrant
irresponsibility!
115
00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:38,512
To allow an unscheduled
conception to occur!
116
00:04:38,546 --> 00:04:40,781
- Moira?
- Oh, she has no idea
117
00:04:40,814 --> 00:04:42,750
of the toll a baby can take
on its mother,
118
00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:44,618
or its mother's mother.
119
00:04:44,652 --> 00:04:46,754
- Moira, I'm the one
who's pregnant.
120
00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:48,756
- If only.
- It's true.
121
00:04:48,789 --> 00:04:51,091
I was dropping off Alexis'
course book,
122
00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:52,860
and I had gotten the test
from the pharmacy,
123
00:04:52,893 --> 00:04:54,428
and I was so anxious
to find out,
124
00:04:54,462 --> 00:04:56,697
that I took the test
in Alexis' bathroom.
125
00:04:59,667 --> 00:05:01,669
- Oh Jocelyn, oh Jocelyn!
126
00:05:01,702 --> 00:05:04,505
Oh, what a wonderful surprise
for us all!
127
00:05:04,538 --> 00:05:06,607
Oh!
- I know.
128
00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:09,343
I thought it was menopause
that was making me late,
129
00:05:09,377 --> 00:05:11,445
and giving me the cravings,
and morning sickness.
130
00:05:11,479 --> 00:05:13,013
- I wouldn't know.
131
00:05:13,046 --> 00:05:15,849
- Listen, can you do me
a favour,
132
00:05:15,883 --> 00:05:17,951
and just keep this between
the two of us,
133
00:05:17,985 --> 00:05:20,454
because Roland
doesn't know yet.
134
00:05:20,488 --> 00:05:23,657
- Oh! Oh Jocelyn,
Roland's not the father?
135
00:05:23,691 --> 00:05:26,894
- Of course he is,
I just haven't found
136
00:05:26,927 --> 00:05:28,796
the right time to tell him.
137
00:05:28,829 --> 00:05:31,031
- Don't wait, best to rip
it off like a band aid.
138
00:05:31,064 --> 00:05:32,733
- You're probably right.
139
00:05:32,766 --> 00:05:34,968
It's just that we weren't
expecting this.
140
00:05:35,002 --> 00:05:37,638
- One must prepare
for any event.
141
00:05:37,671 --> 00:05:39,907
Miracles don't take
reservations.
142
00:05:41,041 --> 00:05:41,942
Ahhh! Oh...
143
00:05:43,411 --> 00:05:44,912
- (Sighs)
144
00:05:46,814 --> 00:05:48,582
(Door opens)
145
00:05:49,683 --> 00:05:51,652
- Oh, hi, honey.
146
00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:53,821
- My God, how long have you
been sitting there?
147
00:05:53,854 --> 00:05:55,523
- Oh, I didn't realize it took
you so long
148
00:05:55,556 --> 00:05:57,491
to put your makeup on.
149
00:05:57,525 --> 00:05:59,593
- Can I help you
with something?
150
00:05:59,627 --> 00:06:02,596
- Just wondering how
you're feeling.
151
00:06:02,630 --> 00:06:05,466
- Fine, a little nervous.
152
00:06:05,499 --> 00:06:07,601
- Well, that's understandable,
comes with the territory.
153
00:06:09,503 --> 00:06:12,440
Uh... it might help
if we chat about it.
154
00:06:13,774 --> 00:06:16,076
- Um no, I don't want
to chat about it. I'm late.
155
00:06:16,109 --> 00:06:18,078
- Well, I know you're late,
sweetheart.
156
00:06:18,111 --> 00:06:18,946
- I knew this was gonna happen!
157
00:06:21,649 --> 00:06:23,451
David has already given me
a hard time.
158
00:06:23,484 --> 00:06:25,018
- I know, and believe me,
159
00:06:25,052 --> 00:06:27,521
I will be talking
to David about that.
160
00:06:29,557 --> 00:06:32,760
Now... Ted,
161
00:06:32,793 --> 00:06:35,028
is he being supportive?
162
00:06:35,062 --> 00:06:37,998
- I haven't even told Ted.
- Oh.
163
00:06:38,031 --> 00:06:40,534
- I just wanna do one thing
on my own!
164
00:06:40,568 --> 00:06:43,937
- And you're sure this is
the right one thing to pick?
165
00:06:43,971 --> 00:06:45,473
- Okay, please don't stress me
out about this!
166
00:06:45,506 --> 00:06:47,174
This is supposed to be fun!
167
00:06:47,207 --> 00:06:50,177
- And it will be fun, honey,
it will be, in time.
168
00:06:50,210 --> 00:06:53,514
You know, it will also be
a lot of work.
169
00:06:53,547 --> 00:06:54,948
- I know that!
170
00:06:54,982 --> 00:06:57,217
- And not to mention,
a lot of money.
171
00:06:57,250 --> 00:06:58,986
- Why do you think I've been
saving up my money
172
00:06:59,019 --> 00:07:00,888
from the vet's office?
173
00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:02,923
- How long have you known
about this?
174
00:07:02,956 --> 00:07:04,858
- Oh my God, you are being
so extra right now!
175
00:07:04,892 --> 00:07:06,193
I have to go!
- Okay,
176
00:07:06,226 --> 00:07:08,128
clearly this is not a good time,
177
00:07:08,161 --> 00:07:10,197
but I just want you to know
your mother and I are here,
178
00:07:10,230 --> 00:07:12,800
whenever you feel comfortable
enough to talk,
179
00:07:12,833 --> 00:07:14,602
although I'd suggest
talking to me, and...
180
00:07:14,635 --> 00:07:16,470
not your mother.
181
00:07:16,504 --> 00:07:18,606
- You are making way too big
a deal of this.
182
00:07:18,639 --> 00:07:22,543
If I don't like it, I'll just
give it up, and move on!
183
00:07:22,576 --> 00:07:24,077
Okay?
184
00:07:25,513 --> 00:07:26,480
(Door slams)
185
00:07:26,514 --> 00:07:27,915
(Jazz music plays)
186
00:07:31,218 --> 00:07:32,886
(Bell on door jingles)
187
00:07:35,523 --> 00:07:37,024
- Hmmm.
188
00:07:37,057 --> 00:07:38,726
(Bag rustles)
189
00:07:41,795 --> 00:07:44,031
- Ding, ding!
190
00:07:44,064 --> 00:07:45,899
- Ahem. Hi.
191
00:07:48,602 --> 00:07:50,971
We're actually closed today.
192
00:07:51,004 --> 00:07:53,907
- It's one o'clock on a Friday.
193
00:07:53,941 --> 00:07:56,243
- Okay, is there something
I can help you with?
194
00:07:56,276 --> 00:07:57,945
- Do you give all your
customers this kind
195
00:07:57,978 --> 00:07:59,513
of VIP treatment?
196
00:07:59,547 --> 00:08:01,615
- Actually, I do, and I would
love to keep chatting,
197
00:08:01,649 --> 00:08:05,653
it's just that Patrick and I
were working on fixing a uh...
198
00:08:05,686 --> 00:08:08,055
a light bulb in the back,
so we-- oh, hey.
199
00:08:08,088 --> 00:08:10,057
- Hey, Stevie.
- Hi.
200
00:08:10,090 --> 00:08:12,660
- David and I were just in the
back doing some inventory.
201
00:08:12,693 --> 00:08:14,161
- Yeah.
- Hmm, yeah.
202
00:08:14,194 --> 00:08:15,963
Seems like you guys
are really busy...
203
00:08:15,996 --> 00:08:17,531
at work.
- Uh...
204
00:08:18,799 --> 00:08:21,201
- Ooh, what's that?
- What's what?
205
00:08:21,234 --> 00:08:23,737
- You got a little red um...
is that a bug bite?
206
00:08:23,771 --> 00:08:26,506
Or a little mouth shaped
sunburn?
207
00:08:27,875 --> 00:08:29,743
Looks like a hickey, actually.
208
00:08:29,777 --> 00:08:32,079
- But it's not, it's not a--
it's not a hickey, right?
209
00:08:32,112 --> 00:08:33,847
Because that would be
disgusting,
210
00:08:33,881 --> 00:08:35,182
and wildly unprofessional.
211
00:08:35,215 --> 00:08:36,884
David, did you give me
a hickey?!
212
00:08:36,917 --> 00:08:39,887
- Okay no, I didn't,
I gave you a-a half hickey,
213
00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:41,922
because we haven't had
the time or the privacy
214
00:08:41,955 --> 00:08:43,924
for me to give
you a full hickey!
215
00:08:43,957 --> 00:08:45,893
- If you give me $50 bucks
I'll stand outside,
216
00:08:45,926 --> 00:08:47,294
and tell people
you're on lunch.
217
00:08:47,327 --> 00:08:49,196
- I'll give you 50 cents
to stand outside
218
00:08:49,229 --> 00:08:50,798
and never come back!
- You see,
219
00:08:50,831 --> 00:08:52,733
this is why we can't do
this here.
220
00:08:52,766 --> 00:08:55,135
- Desperate times, huh?
- No, trying times,
221
00:08:55,168 --> 00:08:57,971
nothing about this
is desperate.
222
00:08:58,005 --> 00:08:59,740
It's just that there's a lot
of people at the motel,
223
00:08:59,773 --> 00:09:02,109
and Patrick is renting
a room from Ray.
224
00:09:02,142 --> 00:09:03,777
- Who really likes to chat.
- Yeah.
225
00:09:03,811 --> 00:09:06,647
So there has literally been
zero privacy.
226
00:09:06,680 --> 00:09:10,017
- Well, if you want,
I'm happy to offer you guys
227
00:09:10,050 --> 00:09:12,786
my apartment for the night.
228
00:09:13,754 --> 00:09:15,623
- Why? Why would you do that?
229
00:09:15,656 --> 00:09:18,258
- Because I care about you two.
230
00:09:18,291 --> 00:09:21,662
- Okay, and where will you be?
231
00:09:21,695 --> 00:09:24,832
- Well, if you must know,
work's been really stressful,
232
00:09:24,865 --> 00:09:29,837
so I'm going to take a little
me time at a spa in Elmdale.
233
00:09:29,870 --> 00:09:31,872
- That is super generous,
234
00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:33,140
but wouldn't be a little
bit weird
235
00:09:33,173 --> 00:09:35,142
us having alone time
at your place?
236
00:09:35,175 --> 00:09:36,677
Especially because
you guys have--
237
00:09:36,710 --> 00:09:38,378
- Oh God no! No, we've never--
- No, never, ew!
238
00:09:38,411 --> 00:09:40,748
- We've never done that there.
- Never. I still live there.
239
00:09:40,781 --> 00:09:42,349
- I mean, we could consider it.
240
00:09:44,952 --> 00:09:46,820
- What exactly is the catch?
241
00:09:46,854 --> 00:09:48,722
- No catch.
242
00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:53,627
- David!
- What?
243
00:09:53,661 --> 00:09:56,664
- We'll take the place.
- Okay, we'll take the place.
244
00:09:56,697 --> 00:09:58,666
- Great, and I'll take this.
245
00:09:58,699 --> 00:10:01,001
- So there's a bit of a catch.
246
00:10:01,034 --> 00:10:02,202
(Door opens, slams)
247
00:10:04,071 --> 00:10:07,074
- You know, Moira, it's not
as bad as I thought.
- Mmm...
248
00:10:07,107 --> 00:10:09,042
- If David sells the store,
and uh...
249
00:10:09,076 --> 00:10:11,078
and you get some part time work,
250
00:10:11,111 --> 00:10:13,013
and we get a good price
for the car,
251
00:10:13,046 --> 00:10:15,182
I think we can make it through
the first two years easy,
252
00:10:15,215 --> 00:10:17,384
and then we just have
to figure out preschool.
253
00:10:18,952 --> 00:10:22,656
- John, as much as I appreciate
your budgetary prowess,
254
00:10:22,690 --> 00:10:25,693
it turns out there is no
immediate need for concern.
255
00:10:27,795 --> 00:10:31,364
- Well, now we're all taking
this a little too lightly.
256
00:10:31,398 --> 00:10:33,400
- Alexis isn't the one
who's pregnant.
257
00:10:35,068 --> 00:10:37,705
Someone else is, but don't
press me for details,
258
00:10:37,738 --> 00:10:40,040
because I've been sworn
to secrecy.
259
00:10:40,073 --> 00:10:42,142
- You've been sworn--
- It's Jocelyn!
260
00:10:42,175 --> 00:10:43,911
But you're not supposed
to know.
261
00:10:43,944 --> 00:10:45,879
She hasn't told Roland yet.
262
00:10:45,913 --> 00:10:47,314
- Jocelyn!
- Uh ha.
263
00:10:47,347 --> 00:10:49,883
She was appropriately
gobsmacked herself.
264
00:10:49,917 --> 00:10:52,953
And I must say,
I am entirely relieved.
265
00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:55,756
- Yeah, that's it's not Alexis!
266
00:10:55,789 --> 00:10:57,725
- But save that spreadsheet,
John,
267
00:10:57,758 --> 00:11:01,428
and you might want to add
a line item for prophylactics.
268
00:11:01,461 --> 00:11:04,164
Tomorrow's another day.
- Yeah, well, don't worry,
269
00:11:04,197 --> 00:11:07,000
I've already had a serious
talk with Alexis,
270
00:11:07,034 --> 00:11:09,102
though now I'm wondering
what exactly...
271
00:11:09,136 --> 00:11:10,370
we were talking about.
272
00:11:11,504 --> 00:11:13,106
(Students chatter)
273
00:11:17,845 --> 00:11:19,780
- Um, hey, excuse me,
274
00:11:19,813 --> 00:11:22,315
I'm looking for
the registrar's office.
275
00:11:22,349 --> 00:11:24,384
- It's in there.
276
00:11:24,417 --> 00:11:26,319
- Okay, I'm just like,
a little bit confused,
277
00:11:26,353 --> 00:11:28,455
because on the brochure
it looks like
278
00:11:28,488 --> 00:11:30,958
it's in a moss covered
building by the lake.
279
00:11:33,326 --> 00:11:35,162
So... I'm guessing the quad
is just like,
280
00:11:35,195 --> 00:11:37,297
on the other side
of the building?
281
00:11:37,330 --> 00:11:39,266
- The office is in there,
make a right.
282
00:11:39,299 --> 00:11:40,868
- A 100%.
283
00:11:44,304 --> 00:11:46,339
(Car rumbles)
284
00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:51,211
♪♪♪
285
00:11:59,887 --> 00:12:02,289
(Students chatter)
286
00:12:03,323 --> 00:12:05,859
(Music plays)
287
00:12:05,893 --> 00:12:08,361
- Ooh...
288
00:12:08,395 --> 00:12:10,297
(Music plays on radio)
289
00:12:13,333 --> 00:12:16,269
- Okay, hi. Hi!
- Hmm, what's up?
290
00:12:16,303 --> 00:12:19,139
- I am what this brochure calls
a prospective student.
291
00:12:19,172 --> 00:12:20,540
- Cool, so you're not
enrolled yet?
292
00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:23,176
- No, I am enrolled, um,
prospectively.
293
00:12:23,210 --> 00:12:25,278
I was wondering if there's
like, a campus tour,
294
00:12:25,312 --> 00:12:27,480
or something?
- Wow...
295
00:12:27,514 --> 00:12:30,083
well, it wouldn't be much
of a tour, but...
296
00:12:30,117 --> 00:12:32,052
yeah, I guess I could walk you
back up the hall,
297
00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:33,553
if you want.
298
00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:35,288
- Okay, it's just that
this brochure is like,
299
00:12:35,322 --> 00:12:37,124
a little bit confusing.
300
00:12:37,157 --> 00:12:38,926
- Yeah, we couldn't afford
in house photography,
301
00:12:38,959 --> 00:12:41,995
so we just used stock images.
See? Watermark there.
302
00:12:42,029 --> 00:12:43,430
(Laughs) This is actually
a still
303
00:12:43,463 --> 00:12:45,365
from "Dead Poets Society."
304
00:12:45,398 --> 00:12:47,534
- I feel like that's false
advertising,
305
00:12:47,567 --> 00:12:50,503
especially considering what
I am paying for these courses.
306
00:12:50,537 --> 00:12:54,141
- Yeah, but you get free coffee
and doughnuts.
307
00:12:54,174 --> 00:12:56,143
Oh, and like, um, an agenda.
308
00:12:57,344 --> 00:13:00,013
- (Groans)
- Yeah, it's off by a day.
309
00:13:00,047 --> 00:13:02,015
So... I wouldn't use it.
310
00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:06,820
- Okay great, I would like
a refund, please.
311
00:13:06,854 --> 00:13:09,890
- Uh, the problem is,
is we don't give refunds.
312
00:13:09,923 --> 00:13:13,226
- Okay, then I guess I would
just like my money back, then.
313
00:13:13,260 --> 00:13:15,528
- Again, we don't give refunds.
- Okay, okay.
314
00:13:15,562 --> 00:13:18,031
This is the first time
that I've ever invested
315
00:13:18,065 --> 00:13:20,133
in anything myself,
and I thought that was like,
316
00:13:20,167 --> 00:13:22,335
the responsible choice,
but clearly,
317
00:13:22,369 --> 00:13:24,604
this is like, a joke school.
318
00:13:24,637 --> 00:13:28,375
- Well, that's why most students
do their courses online.
319
00:13:28,408 --> 00:13:32,212
- Oh. So like, potentially,
320
00:13:32,245 --> 00:13:34,882
I could refund
my refund request,
321
00:13:34,915 --> 00:13:36,549
do all my courses online,
and like,
322
00:13:36,583 --> 00:13:38,852
never have to ever
come back here again?
323
00:13:38,886 --> 00:13:40,553
- That's actually how I keep
my side hustle going,
324
00:13:40,587 --> 00:13:42,589
part time DJ.
325
00:13:42,622 --> 00:13:45,625
Here's my card, in case
you have any problems,
326
00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:47,895
or you wanna go on a date,
or something.
327
00:13:47,928 --> 00:13:50,063
- Okay. Well, I won't be
doing any of that,
328
00:13:50,097 --> 00:13:52,432
but thank you so much.
329
00:13:52,465 --> 00:13:54,401
Ooh!
330
00:13:54,434 --> 00:13:56,169
(Door opens)
331
00:13:56,203 --> 00:13:58,105
- Please, come in, come in.
332
00:13:58,138 --> 00:14:00,240
- Ooh.
- Welcome.
333
00:14:01,474 --> 00:14:03,510
Make yourselves at home.
334
00:14:03,543 --> 00:14:05,545
Just so you know, there's
nothing in the fridge.
335
00:14:05,578 --> 00:14:09,049
Oh, and I marked the booze,
so I'll know if you touch it.
336
00:14:09,082 --> 00:14:10,517
- I noticed the line
is a couple inches above
337
00:14:10,550 --> 00:14:12,319
where the whiskey starts.
338
00:14:12,352 --> 00:14:15,055
- I am stunned by your
generosity.
339
00:14:15,088 --> 00:14:17,490
Where exactly
are you going tonight?
340
00:14:17,524 --> 00:14:19,927
- Out to a spa.
341
00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:22,162
- Which she already told us,
so maybe just say thank you.
342
00:14:22,195 --> 00:14:23,997
- Oh no, I did, I did say
thank you multiple times.
343
00:14:24,031 --> 00:14:26,066
Um, what is the name
of the spa?
344
00:14:26,099 --> 00:14:28,101
- David!
Let's just let her go, okay?
345
00:14:28,135 --> 00:14:30,237
- Okay, yeah.
(Knock on the door)
346
00:14:30,270 --> 00:14:33,540
- Are we expecting company, or?
- N-no, I wasn't!
347
00:14:33,573 --> 00:14:35,475
- Hey, pony!
Are you ready to go?
348
00:14:37,144 --> 00:14:39,346
- What are you doing? I said
I would meet you outside!
349
00:14:39,379 --> 00:14:41,481
- I said I'd help you
with your bags.
350
00:14:41,514 --> 00:14:43,450
- David.
Wow, it's been a while.
351
00:14:44,584 --> 00:14:46,419
- Pony.
- Hey...
352
00:14:46,453 --> 00:14:49,256
- Mm-mm! Ahem!
- Wow, you look good.
353
00:14:50,423 --> 00:14:52,025
Who's this guy?
354
00:14:52,059 --> 00:14:54,261
- This is my... that's--
- Patrick.
355
00:14:55,562 --> 00:14:57,397
- That's Patrick.
- And you are?
356
00:14:57,430 --> 00:14:59,132
- Picking up Stevie.
- Yeah, we're gonna go, so...
357
00:14:59,166 --> 00:15:01,434
- So I'm not getting a name,
then.
358
00:15:01,468 --> 00:15:03,636
- Um, so you and "pony,"
359
00:15:03,670 --> 00:15:05,939
what do you have planned
for tonight?
360
00:15:05,973 --> 00:15:08,675
- Well, it's date night,
so we thought maybe
361
00:15:08,708 --> 00:15:10,510
we'd spend it in the woods.
362
00:15:10,543 --> 00:15:12,312
- Yeah, just galloping around
the woods, huh?
363
00:15:12,345 --> 00:15:14,114
- Yeah, with your "pony."
364
00:15:14,147 --> 00:15:16,149
Not at a spa. So...
365
00:15:16,183 --> 00:15:19,319
I take it you two are still--
- Seeing each other, yes.
366
00:15:19,352 --> 00:15:21,421
As it turns out we are.
367
00:15:21,454 --> 00:15:23,223
- After we all broke up,
368
00:15:23,256 --> 00:15:25,125
Stevie came over to end
things officially,
369
00:15:25,158 --> 00:15:26,693
and it just didn't stick, so.
- Yeah. Yeah.
370
00:15:26,726 --> 00:15:28,461
No, it didn't stick, did it.
371
00:15:28,495 --> 00:15:30,063
- When you say
"we all broke up--"
372
00:15:30,097 --> 00:15:32,299
- So you offering
your apartment
373
00:15:32,332 --> 00:15:34,968
had nothing to do with
any guilt you felt
374
00:15:35,002 --> 00:15:37,404
about harbouring
a little secret?
375
00:15:37,437 --> 00:15:40,640
- Nope. Just trying to be
a good person, so.
376
00:15:40,673 --> 00:15:43,243
We're gonna go,
leave you two lovebirds.
377
00:15:43,276 --> 00:15:45,312
- Unless you two wanna come?
378
00:15:45,345 --> 00:15:47,647
- Nope! I don't think so.
379
00:15:47,680 --> 00:15:50,217
- Come on.
- You do you.
380
00:15:50,250 --> 00:15:52,319
- Good to meet you, man.
381
00:15:54,421 --> 00:15:55,989
(Door shuts)
382
00:15:57,257 --> 00:15:58,691
- So we're gonna talk
about this, right?
383
00:15:58,725 --> 00:16:00,560
- Yep, I'm just gonna grab
that bottle of--
384
00:16:00,593 --> 00:16:02,062
- Whiskey? Yeah.
- Yeah, the whiskey.
385
00:16:02,095 --> 00:16:04,231
(Cars rumbles)
386
00:16:04,264 --> 00:16:06,566
- So Roland, you're probably
wondering why
387
00:16:06,599 --> 00:16:09,236
I'm taking you out
for tacos tonight.
388
00:16:09,269 --> 00:16:12,139
- Well honey, you don't need a
special reason for taco night.
389
00:16:12,172 --> 00:16:15,408
- No, but there is a special
reason tonight.
390
00:16:15,442 --> 00:16:18,611
There's something that I wanted
to talk to you about,
391
00:16:18,645 --> 00:16:20,413
something exciting.
392
00:16:20,447 --> 00:16:21,548
- Oh, hold that thought, honey.
393
00:16:21,581 --> 00:16:24,451
Hey, Johnny, Moira,
Jocelyn's just about to tell me
394
00:16:24,484 --> 00:16:26,453
something exciting,
come and join us.
395
00:16:26,486 --> 00:16:29,589
- Oh, no, no, no, far be it
for us to intrude.
396
00:16:29,622 --> 00:16:32,425
No, I think it's best
that Jocelyn share
397
00:16:32,459 --> 00:16:35,128
this life altering news,
whatever it may be,
398
00:16:35,162 --> 00:16:37,164
on her own.
- Yeah.
399
00:16:37,197 --> 00:16:39,499
And we'll probably take
another table,
400
00:16:39,532 --> 00:16:42,035
because I skipped lunch and
you know me when I'm hungry.
401
00:16:42,069 --> 00:16:43,503
Look out! (Laughs)
402
00:16:43,536 --> 00:16:45,172
Uh, we'll sit over here.
403
00:16:45,205 --> 00:16:47,340
- Johnny, I am not
gonna ask again.
404
00:16:47,374 --> 00:16:48,741
- No, no, no.
405
00:16:48,775 --> 00:16:50,377
- No, in fact I am
gonna ask again.
406
00:16:50,410 --> 00:16:51,811
And again. And again.
- Roland--
407
00:16:51,844 --> 00:16:53,813
- Get over here,
and sit yourself down!
408
00:16:53,846 --> 00:16:56,783
- It's okay Moira, take a seat.
409
00:16:56,816 --> 00:17:00,320
- Okay, okay well, John and I
will just study the menu,
410
00:17:00,353 --> 00:17:02,555
as they keep making amendments.
- Yeah...
411
00:17:02,589 --> 00:17:05,492
- (Sighs)
412
00:17:05,525 --> 00:17:07,360
Hmm...
- So Roland,
413
00:17:09,262 --> 00:17:11,831
you might have noticed
that I've been on a real
414
00:17:11,864 --> 00:17:14,667
Dorito casserole kick lately,
415
00:17:14,701 --> 00:17:17,570
and there's a reason for that.
416
00:17:17,604 --> 00:17:20,207
- Besides wanting to keep me
as your husband?
417
00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:22,709
(Laughs uproariously)
Am I right, Johnny?
418
00:17:22,742 --> 00:17:24,711
- Oh, I don't need to be a part
of this.
419
00:17:24,744 --> 00:17:27,447
- The last time I made
that casserole
420
00:17:27,480 --> 00:17:29,249
was when I was pregnant
with Mutt.
421
00:17:29,282 --> 00:17:32,252
And I've really been craving
that casserole again.
422
00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:35,388
- Yeah.
423
00:17:35,422 --> 00:17:37,490
Well, that's understandable
honey,
424
00:17:37,524 --> 00:17:39,659
I mean, it's a terrific
casserole.
425
00:17:39,692 --> 00:17:41,461
- I'd kill for a casserole
right now.
426
00:17:41,494 --> 00:17:43,463
- Rollie, how are you
not getting this?
427
00:17:43,496 --> 00:17:45,565
- Have we decided?
- I'm pregnant!
428
00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:50,603
- (Gasps)
- We're having a baby.
429
00:17:50,637 --> 00:17:52,639
- Oh my goodness!
- Yeah, Twyla,
430
00:17:54,174 --> 00:17:56,109
I'm gonna have the bottomless
French Onion soup,
431
00:17:56,143 --> 00:17:58,878
and maybe you might wanna drop
a little calamari on the table.
432
00:17:58,911 --> 00:18:02,249
- John! (Gasps)
- Yes! Oh, oh, pregnant?
433
00:18:03,583 --> 00:18:05,185
Wow! Wonderful news.
434
00:18:06,519 --> 00:18:08,855
Hey, congratulations, fella.
435
00:18:08,888 --> 00:18:11,791
- Yes, we are stunned!
436
00:18:15,228 --> 00:18:18,331
- Honey... are you okay?
437
00:18:20,267 --> 00:18:22,335
- Okay? (Chuckles)
438
00:18:23,270 --> 00:18:25,338
(Laughs wildly)
439
00:18:25,372 --> 00:18:27,307
Of course I'm okay!
440
00:18:27,340 --> 00:18:29,342
Oh my God!
441
00:18:29,376 --> 00:18:31,178
We're having a baby!
442
00:18:31,211 --> 00:18:34,381
(Applause)
443
00:18:34,414 --> 00:18:36,883
Champagne for everybody, on me!
444
00:18:36,916 --> 00:18:39,619
- I can't drink, Rollie.
- Oh right, you're driving.
445
00:18:39,652 --> 00:18:41,354
- Uh you know what Twyla,
actually,
446
00:18:41,388 --> 00:18:43,590
let's just do one beer,
one beer for me. Okay?
447
00:18:43,623 --> 00:18:45,358
- Congratulations, you two.
448
00:18:45,392 --> 00:18:48,595
- Well, I can honestly say
from the bottom of my heart,
449
00:18:48,628 --> 00:18:51,364
that I couldn't be happier
450
00:18:51,398 --> 00:18:54,701
that this is happening to you
and your family!
451
00:18:56,636 --> 00:18:58,471
(Crickets chirp)
452
00:18:58,505 --> 00:19:00,607
- So this is for you. Um...
453
00:19:01,841 --> 00:19:04,444
cheers to privacy.
454
00:19:06,813 --> 00:19:08,681
- Sorry, I've just gotta go
through that one more time.
455
00:19:08,715 --> 00:19:11,684
So you dated Jake
and then Stevie dated Jake.
456
00:19:11,718 --> 00:19:13,653
- Mhmm... mhmm.
457
00:19:13,686 --> 00:19:15,688
- And at one point, you all--
458
00:19:15,722 --> 00:19:17,290
- No, see, that's where
you're wrong.
459
00:19:17,324 --> 00:19:20,793
We almost all, but I said no.
- Ah.
460
00:19:20,827 --> 00:19:23,196
- Because Stevie and I agreed
that that would be a bad idea,
461
00:19:23,230 --> 00:19:25,598
but it appears that I'm
the only one that held up
462
00:19:25,632 --> 00:19:27,400
my end of that agreement.
463
00:19:27,434 --> 00:19:29,369
- And you're upset about this
because you still...
464
00:19:29,402 --> 00:19:31,504
- No! I'm not upset!
465
00:19:31,538 --> 00:19:34,407
I-I don't want any of that!
- No...
466
00:19:34,441 --> 00:19:36,376
- It's a principle thing.
467
00:19:36,409 --> 00:19:38,778
And we are getting sidetracked
right now.
468
00:19:38,811 --> 00:19:40,547
Okay? So...
469
00:19:40,580 --> 00:19:43,916
who is feeling sexy?
470
00:19:43,950 --> 00:19:45,985
- Getting there for sure,
I just-you know, I...
471
00:19:46,018 --> 00:19:49,389
I knew you had a rich
dating history, David,
472
00:19:49,422 --> 00:19:51,691
I just didn't expect to be
graced by the presence
473
00:19:51,724 --> 00:19:53,726
of two of your exes tonight.
474
00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:55,895
- Yeah, funny thing,
neither did I. So...
475
00:19:59,732 --> 00:20:01,368
- But...
- Mhmm?
476
00:20:02,735 --> 00:20:04,804
- Given that we only have
the apartment for one night.
477
00:20:04,837 --> 00:20:07,707
- Mmm.
- Maybe it's best if we...
478
00:20:07,740 --> 00:20:09,842
lock that box back up for now?
479
00:20:09,876 --> 00:20:12,845
- I think that's a good idea.
- Mhmm. Mhmm.
480
00:20:12,879 --> 00:20:14,881
- You know what, we didn't even
get into your history--
481
00:20:14,914 --> 00:20:17,250
- Lock it up, David. Lock it up.
- Oh, okay.
482
00:20:21,421 --> 00:20:22,722
- Hey, so I've been thinking
about what you said,
483
00:20:22,755 --> 00:20:25,024
and it is a big expense,
484
00:20:25,057 --> 00:20:26,859
but I think I can find a way
to make it work.
485
00:20:26,893 --> 00:20:28,728
- What's happening?
486
00:20:28,761 --> 00:20:30,863
- Dad's trying to get me
to drop out of college.
487
00:20:30,897 --> 00:20:32,732
- No, that's not what
was happening!
488
00:20:32,765 --> 00:20:35,835
I-I thought we were talking
about something else.
489
00:20:35,868 --> 00:20:37,404
- What else?
490
00:20:37,437 --> 00:20:38,905
- Oh, he thought
you were pregnant.
491
00:20:38,938 --> 00:20:41,608
- What? Ew!
- Well, we all did.
492
00:20:41,641 --> 00:20:43,576
- Oh my God, that's so mean!
493
00:20:43,610 --> 00:20:46,879
- Oh, look who's here.
Where were you all night?
494
00:20:46,913 --> 00:20:48,315
- Um...out-side.
495
00:20:50,617 --> 00:20:51,951
I was outside.
496
00:20:51,984 --> 00:20:53,586
- A little past curfew.
497
00:20:53,620 --> 00:20:55,422
- Oh burn, David.
498
00:20:55,455 --> 00:20:58,491
- I'm sorry, I was processing
Alexis' situation.
499
00:20:58,525 --> 00:21:01,294
- David, Alexis isn't--
- No, it's okay.
500
00:21:01,328 --> 00:21:04,797
I mean, have your fun
now David,
501
00:21:04,831 --> 00:21:06,799
because when the twins arrive,
502
00:21:06,833 --> 00:21:08,801
I'm gonna really need
your help.
503
00:21:08,835 --> 00:21:10,670
- Um, that's a hard pass.
504
00:21:10,703 --> 00:21:12,805
- You're gonna be so involved
in their lives.
505
00:21:12,839 --> 00:21:14,841
- Mm, your body, your problem.
506
00:21:14,874 --> 00:21:16,809
- David, Alexis isn't pregnant.
507
00:21:16,843 --> 00:21:19,979
- Okay, but just picture them
as like, tiny little roommates,
508
00:21:20,012 --> 00:21:21,648
whose tiny little poops
you get to clean up!
509
00:21:21,681 --> 00:21:23,015
- Yeah, thanks so much.
38487
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