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1
00:00:01,160 --> 00:00:02,900
(bell chimes)
2
00:00:02,900 --> 00:00:04,170
♪ When I wake up
in the morning ♪
3
00:00:04,170 --> 00:00:05,670
♪ An alarm gives out a warning ♪
4
00:00:05,670 --> 00:00:08,470
♪ I don't think I'll
ever make it on time ♪
5
00:00:08,470 --> 00:00:10,040
♪ By the time I grab my books ♪
6
00:00:10,040 --> 00:00:11,610
♪ And I give myself a look ♪
7
00:00:11,610 --> 00:00:15,310
♪ I'm at the corner just in
time to see the bus fly by ♪
8
00:00:15,310 --> 00:00:20,320
♪ It's all right 'cause
I'm saved by the bell ♪
9
00:00:21,720 --> 00:00:23,890
♪ If the teacher pops a
test I know I'm in a mess ♪
10
00:00:23,890 --> 00:00:26,990
♪ And my dog ate all my
homework last night ♪
11
00:00:26,990 --> 00:00:28,420
♪ Riding low in my chair ♪
12
00:00:28,430 --> 00:00:30,090
♪ She won't know
that I'm there ♪
13
00:00:30,090 --> 00:00:33,400
♪ If I can hand it in
tomorrow it'll be all right ♪
14
00:00:33,400 --> 00:00:38,370
♪ It's all right 'cause
I'm saved by the bell ♪
15
00:00:39,700 --> 00:00:42,400
(exciting music)
16
00:00:51,780 --> 00:00:54,780
♪ It's all right 'cause
I'm saved by the ♪
17
00:00:54,780 --> 00:00:57,890
♪ It's all right 'cause
I'm saved by the ♪
18
00:00:57,890 --> 00:01:02,720
♪ It's all right 'cause
I'm saved by the bell ♪
19
00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:09,730
(exciting music)
20
00:01:14,940 --> 00:01:17,510
- All right, does everyone
know their parts in this movie?
21
00:01:17,510 --> 00:01:18,770
I want it to be great.
22
00:01:18,780 --> 00:01:20,110
- Hey relax, Preppy.
23
00:01:20,110 --> 00:01:22,810
It's only a student film.
24
00:01:22,810 --> 00:01:24,680
- Quiet on the set.
25
00:01:24,680 --> 00:01:27,680
(audience laughing)
26
00:01:29,050 --> 00:01:31,120
All right, now Jessie,
you're the history teacher.
27
00:01:31,120 --> 00:01:33,220
Now the alien creature
will come through that door
28
00:01:33,220 --> 00:01:35,190
and suck out your brain.
29
00:01:35,190 --> 00:01:37,860
- Zack, why can't he
suck out your brain?
30
00:01:37,860 --> 00:01:39,660
- Because someone already did.
31
00:01:39,660 --> 00:01:40,800
(audience laughing)
- Very funny.
32
00:01:42,300 --> 00:01:43,400
All right now.
33
00:01:43,400 --> 00:01:44,170
Places, everybody.
34
00:01:45,940 --> 00:01:48,300
- Alien Invasion At
Bayside, take one.
35
00:01:48,310 --> 00:01:50,410
(board clacks)
36
00:01:50,410 --> 00:01:52,170
- Cue the hideous creature.
37
00:01:52,180 --> 00:01:53,070
- Hi guys.
38
00:01:53,080 --> 00:01:54,580
(audience laughing)
39
00:01:54,580 --> 00:01:55,440
- Cut.
40
00:01:55,450 --> 00:01:57,010
Wrong hideous creature.
41
00:01:57,010 --> 00:01:58,280
- How's the movie going?
42
00:01:58,280 --> 00:01:59,810
- Great, Mr. B.
43
00:01:59,820 --> 00:02:01,820
Thanks for letting us use
the school's new camera.
44
00:02:01,820 --> 00:02:03,320
- Just be careful with it.
45
00:02:03,320 --> 00:02:06,320
We have waited two years to
get this video equipment.
46
00:02:06,320 --> 00:02:07,920
- You've got my word.
47
00:02:07,920 --> 00:02:09,520
- That's what makes me nervous.
48
00:02:09,530 --> 00:02:11,830
(audience laughing)
49
00:02:11,830 --> 00:02:12,660
- All right now.
50
00:02:12,660 --> 00:02:13,500
Places everybody.
51
00:02:14,700 --> 00:02:15,630
- Take two.
52
00:02:15,630 --> 00:02:17,030
(board clacks)
53
00:02:17,030 --> 00:02:17,930
- Action.
54
00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:21,800
- As you know, the
Battle of Gettysburg
55
00:02:21,800 --> 00:02:23,940
was the turning point
of the Civil War.
56
00:02:23,940 --> 00:02:25,670
Now, until that time the south
57
00:02:25,680 --> 00:02:27,310
had the north on the run.
58
00:02:27,310 --> 00:02:32,010
(air inhales)
(audience laughing)
59
00:02:32,020 --> 00:02:33,950
- The alien is
sucking out her brain!
60
00:02:33,950 --> 00:02:37,020
(audience laughing)
61
00:02:37,020 --> 00:02:38,820
- Mighty fine brains.
62
00:02:40,690 --> 00:02:42,660
- After the battle, one
of the great speeches
63
00:02:42,660 --> 00:02:46,860
in history was made by President
PeeWee Herman (laughs).
64
00:02:48,530 --> 00:02:50,230
(audience laughing)
65
00:02:50,230 --> 00:02:51,070
- Our teacher's hurt.
66
00:02:51,070 --> 00:02:52,800
Get the school nurse.
67
00:02:52,800 --> 00:02:55,100
(audience laughing)
68
00:02:55,100 --> 00:02:56,540
- This is awful.
69
00:02:56,540 --> 00:02:57,670
Her head's empty.
70
00:02:58,840 --> 00:03:00,040
Who did this?
71
00:03:00,040 --> 00:03:01,210
- Don't look at me.
72
00:03:01,210 --> 00:03:03,340
I'm just an innocent
alien bystander.
73
00:03:03,350 --> 00:03:04,180
- Don't trust him.
74
00:03:04,180 --> 00:03:05,050
He has brain breath.
75
00:03:05,050 --> 00:03:07,010
(audience laughing)
76
00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:08,580
- Turn your sweet little head.
77
00:03:08,590 --> 00:03:09,750
I want some desert.
78
00:03:11,190 --> 00:03:12,450
- Back off, bug face.
79
00:03:12,460 --> 00:03:14,360
No one messes up my hair.
80
00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:15,290
(audience laughing)
81
00:03:15,290 --> 00:03:18,090
- (grunts) Oh, my tooth.
82
00:03:18,090 --> 00:03:19,030
- Cut, cut!
83
00:03:19,030 --> 00:03:19,830
This isn't in the script.
84
00:03:19,830 --> 00:03:22,430
(camera clatters)
85
00:03:22,430 --> 00:03:24,200
- Oh, when Belding
hears about this
86
00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:26,700
he's really gonna be mad.
87
00:03:26,700 --> 00:03:30,140
- Wow, you think he cares
that much about my tooth?
88
00:03:30,140 --> 00:03:34,080
(audience laughing)
(mid-tempo music)
89
00:03:34,080 --> 00:03:35,010
- Don't you understand?
90
00:03:35,010 --> 00:03:36,410
I am president of the school!
91
00:03:36,410 --> 00:03:38,380
My whole reputation is at stake.
92
00:03:38,380 --> 00:03:41,380
I promised Mr. Belding I'd be
responsible for the camera!
93
00:03:41,380 --> 00:03:43,020
- Look guys, why
don't we all chip in
94
00:03:43,020 --> 00:03:44,420
and buy a new camera?
95
00:03:44,420 --> 00:03:45,250
- Great idea.
96
00:03:45,260 --> 00:03:46,390
How much does it cost?
97
00:03:46,390 --> 00:03:48,620
- Around $1,200.
98
00:03:48,630 --> 00:03:50,120
- Well, I have $23.
99
00:03:50,130 --> 00:03:53,630
- I have $36 saved
from birthday presents.
100
00:03:53,630 --> 00:03:55,130
- How 'bout you, Lisa?
101
00:03:55,130 --> 00:03:57,130
- I owe my father $112.
102
00:03:57,130 --> 00:03:58,430
(audience laughing)
- Well then, I think
103
00:03:58,440 --> 00:04:00,800
the best thing to
do is blame Jessie.
104
00:04:00,800 --> 00:04:01,640
- [Slater] Yeah.
105
00:04:01,640 --> 00:04:02,770
(audience laughing)
106
00:04:02,770 --> 00:04:04,240
- Me?
107
00:04:04,240 --> 00:04:06,040
How can you blame me?
108
00:04:06,040 --> 00:04:08,810
That is so irresponsible,
so disloyal, so--
109
00:04:08,810 --> 00:04:11,880
- Oh, stop being a
stiff pickle, okay?
110
00:04:11,880 --> 00:04:13,980
(audience laughing)
111
00:04:13,980 --> 00:04:15,450
- This is nothing.
112
00:04:15,450 --> 00:04:17,150
Here's a guy with real trouble.
113
00:04:17,150 --> 00:04:20,660
A swarm of bees carried
him off to be their queen.
114
00:04:20,660 --> 00:04:22,390
(audience laughing)
115
00:04:22,390 --> 00:04:23,460
- Say what?
116
00:04:24,860 --> 00:04:26,230
What are you reading?
117
00:04:26,230 --> 00:04:27,500
- National Babbler.
118
00:04:27,500 --> 00:04:29,000
- It's one of
those trashy papers
119
00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:30,870
that makes up their own news.
120
00:04:30,870 --> 00:04:32,600
- Yeah, they'll print anything.
121
00:04:33,570 --> 00:04:35,140
Hey, look at this.
122
00:04:35,140 --> 00:04:37,910
The Babbler will pay $1,500
123
00:04:37,910 --> 00:04:39,940
for the best
picture of an alien.
124
00:04:39,940 --> 00:04:40,780
- [Kelly] Wow.
125
00:04:40,780 --> 00:04:42,010
- Let me see that.
126
00:04:42,010 --> 00:04:42,680
- [Zack] Look at
that, right there.
127
00:04:42,680 --> 00:04:44,350
- $1,500?
128
00:04:44,350 --> 00:04:47,080
Guys, could buy a
new camera with that.
129
00:04:47,080 --> 00:04:48,620
- [All] Yeah.
130
00:04:48,620 --> 00:04:52,050
- I know, but where on earth
are we gonna find an alien?
131
00:04:52,050 --> 00:04:55,060
(audience laughing)
132
00:04:58,130 --> 00:05:00,660
(playful music)
133
00:05:07,440 --> 00:05:10,100
- (laughs) Jessie, what are
you doing dressed like that?
134
00:05:10,110 --> 00:05:11,470
- I'm trying to avoid Belding.
135
00:05:11,470 --> 00:05:13,540
He's been asking me for
that camera all week.
136
00:05:13,540 --> 00:05:15,340
I feel so guilty.
137
00:05:15,350 --> 00:05:17,780
- You shouldn't
feel guilty, Jessie.
138
00:05:17,780 --> 00:05:21,150
You should feel stupid.
(Kelly laughs)
139
00:05:23,850 --> 00:05:26,090
- Excuse me, you're
new here, aren't you?
140
00:05:26,090 --> 00:05:27,920
Welcome to Bayside.
141
00:05:27,920 --> 00:05:29,760
- (speaking foreign language).
142
00:05:29,760 --> 00:05:31,930
- Oh, you must be
an exchange student.
143
00:05:33,130 --> 00:05:35,160
- (speaking foreign language).
144
00:05:35,160 --> 00:05:37,030
- What's your name?
145
00:05:37,030 --> 00:05:38,470
I mean, (speaking
foreign language).
146
00:05:39,670 --> 00:05:42,840
- (speaking foreign
language) Maria.
147
00:05:42,840 --> 00:05:45,940
Maria Tortilla.
(audience laughing)
148
00:05:45,940 --> 00:05:46,770
- Beautiful name.
149
00:05:46,780 --> 00:05:47,680
Nice to meet you.
150
00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:49,180
Hope you like America.
151
00:05:49,180 --> 00:05:51,110
- America, (speaking
foreign language).
152
00:05:53,320 --> 00:05:54,150
- Hi, Mr. Belding.
153
00:05:54,150 --> 00:05:54,980
- Hi, Zack.
154
00:05:54,980 --> 00:05:56,220
- (chuckles) Hi, Jessie.
155
00:05:56,220 --> 00:05:57,450
(audience laughing)
- Jessie?
156
00:05:57,450 --> 00:05:58,550
- Buenos nachos.
157
00:05:58,560 --> 00:06:00,360
- Not so fast, Miss Tortilla.
158
00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:02,190
What is going on, Jessie?
159
00:06:03,490 --> 00:06:05,090
- What's going on?
160
00:06:05,090 --> 00:06:06,790
Golly, that's a good question.
161
00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:09,400
Zack, you wanna
answer for Jessie?
162
00:06:09,400 --> 00:06:12,400
(audience laughing)
163
00:06:12,400 --> 00:06:15,470
- Well, sir, we just
finished our movie.
164
00:06:16,610 --> 00:06:17,540
You heard of Batman?
165
00:06:17,540 --> 00:06:20,680
Well, Jessie played Batmamasita.
166
00:06:20,680 --> 00:06:22,410
(audience laughing)
167
00:06:22,410 --> 00:06:24,280
- Well good, then
where is my camera?
168
00:06:25,450 --> 00:06:27,310
- Right here, sir.
(Jessie panting)
169
00:06:27,320 --> 00:06:30,690
(audience laughing)
170
00:06:30,690 --> 00:06:32,690
- I've got to hand
it to you, Preppy.
171
00:06:32,690 --> 00:06:33,890
I never thought The Babbler
172
00:06:33,890 --> 00:06:36,260
would believe
Screech as an alien.
173
00:06:36,260 --> 00:06:39,260
(audience laughing)
174
00:06:43,470 --> 00:06:45,730
- I'm looking for a Zack Morris.
175
00:06:45,740 --> 00:06:47,230
- I'm Zack Morris (chuckles).
176
00:06:48,410 --> 00:06:49,800
- Did you take this picture?
177
00:06:50,910 --> 00:06:52,510
- Actually, we all took it.
178
00:06:52,510 --> 00:06:54,680
- Then I'd like to ask
you a few questions
179
00:06:54,680 --> 00:06:55,940
if you don't mind.
180
00:06:55,950 --> 00:06:58,280
- Oh, you must be
from the newspaper.
181
00:06:58,280 --> 00:06:59,510
Yeah, they said they
might send somebody
182
00:06:59,520 --> 00:07:00,210
to interview us.
183
00:07:00,220 --> 00:07:01,020
- Interview?
184
00:07:01,020 --> 00:07:01,980
Oh, right.
185
00:07:03,790 --> 00:07:04,790
The name's Thompson.
186
00:07:06,160 --> 00:07:07,660
Now tell me, guys.
187
00:07:07,660 --> 00:07:10,020
Have you seen the
alien more than once?
188
00:07:10,030 --> 00:07:11,830
- I see him a lot
more than I want to.
189
00:07:11,830 --> 00:07:13,730
(audience laughing)
190
00:07:13,730 --> 00:07:15,000
- Fascinating.
191
00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:15,960
Sounds like you've had
many close encounters
192
00:07:15,970 --> 00:07:17,330
with the creature.
193
00:07:17,330 --> 00:07:18,430
- Don't remind me.
194
00:07:18,440 --> 00:07:19,630
(audience laughing)
195
00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:20,840
- Wow.
196
00:07:20,840 --> 00:07:22,570
You know, close
encounters like that
197
00:07:23,970 --> 00:07:25,670
are worth big money.
198
00:07:25,680 --> 00:07:26,970
- Really?
199
00:07:26,980 --> 00:07:28,440
Like how much?
200
00:07:28,450 --> 00:07:31,980
- We'd pay $10,000 if I
could meet this alien.
201
00:07:31,980 --> 00:07:33,150
- $10,000?
202
00:07:34,720 --> 00:07:35,920
Do you mind if we
speak privately?
203
00:07:35,920 --> 00:07:37,220
- Not at all.
204
00:07:37,220 --> 00:07:38,390
What do you want to tell me?
205
00:07:38,390 --> 00:07:39,950
(audience laughing)
206
00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:42,560
- I meant with my friends.
207
00:07:42,560 --> 00:07:43,620
- You meant with your friends?
208
00:07:43,630 --> 00:07:46,060
(laughs) Oh, I knew that.
209
00:07:46,060 --> 00:07:48,060
I'll be right over here.
210
00:07:48,060 --> 00:07:50,670
- Zack, whatever you're
thinking just stop.
211
00:07:50,670 --> 00:07:51,930
We were lucky once.
212
00:07:51,940 --> 00:07:53,530
- All we have to do
is convince this guy
213
00:07:53,540 --> 00:07:54,970
that Screech is an alien.
214
00:07:54,970 --> 00:07:55,870
- Why would he believe that?
215
00:07:55,870 --> 00:07:57,340
- Because he wants to.
216
00:07:57,340 --> 00:07:58,640
I mean, come on.
217
00:07:58,640 --> 00:07:59,970
This guy would believe anything.
218
00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:02,810
- Guys, what do we have to lose?
219
00:08:02,810 --> 00:08:05,410
For 10,000 bucks,
let's take a shot.
220
00:08:05,410 --> 00:08:06,380
- I don't like this.
221
00:08:06,380 --> 00:08:08,150
- Who cares?
222
00:08:08,150 --> 00:08:09,450
(audience laughing)
223
00:08:09,450 --> 00:08:10,350
- Just trust me.
224
00:08:10,350 --> 00:08:12,090
This'll work, okay.
225
00:08:12,090 --> 00:08:14,320
- Got it, we got it, we got it.
226
00:08:16,590 --> 00:08:18,290
- Mr. Thompson?
227
00:08:18,290 --> 00:08:20,330
(audience laughing)
228
00:08:20,330 --> 00:08:22,730
I think I can arrange a
meeting with you and the alien.
229
00:08:22,730 --> 00:08:23,760
- Wow.
230
00:08:23,770 --> 00:08:24,600
Here's my number.
231
00:08:24,600 --> 00:08:26,000
Call me any time.
232
00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:27,540
- All right, we'll be in touch.
233
00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:32,640
- Eagle Three, this is
Lieutenant Thompson.
234
00:08:32,640 --> 00:08:34,680
We've made contact.
235
00:08:35,710 --> 00:08:38,310
(upbeat music)
236
00:08:42,790 --> 00:08:44,450
- Hey Screech, how'd
it go at the dentist?
237
00:08:44,450 --> 00:08:46,020
- I had my tooth
filled this morning
238
00:08:46,020 --> 00:08:47,820
and now I pick up
radio stations.
239
00:08:47,820 --> 00:08:49,590
(audience laughing)
240
00:08:49,590 --> 00:08:50,790
- You're kidding.
241
00:08:50,790 --> 00:08:52,060
- Come on.
242
00:08:52,060 --> 00:08:56,630
(dance music plays)
(audience laughing)
243
00:08:58,840 --> 00:09:00,330
- It's kinda neat
except when this big guy
244
00:09:00,340 --> 00:09:01,570
held me up to his ear
245
00:09:01,570 --> 00:09:03,170
and tried to shove a
cassette in my mouth.
246
00:09:03,170 --> 00:09:04,940
(audience laughing)
247
00:09:04,940 --> 00:09:06,640
- Well Screech, got
something really important
248
00:09:06,640 --> 00:09:07,510
to talk to you about.
249
00:09:07,510 --> 00:09:08,610
- Right.
250
00:09:08,610 --> 00:09:09,640
- [Radio Announcer] Hello, L.A!
251
00:09:12,450 --> 00:09:13,950
(audience laughing)
252
00:09:13,950 --> 00:09:15,520
- Does this happen all the time?
253
00:09:15,520 --> 00:09:17,820
- [Radio Announcer] The
time is nine o'clock.
254
00:09:17,820 --> 00:09:19,050
(audience laughing)
255
00:09:19,060 --> 00:09:20,590
- Just depends on
where I'm standing.
256
00:09:20,590 --> 00:09:21,960
- Well, let's move you.
257
00:09:21,960 --> 00:09:23,590
- Yeah.
258
00:09:23,590 --> 00:09:24,760
- This way.
259
00:09:24,760 --> 00:09:29,460
(radio static)
(audience laughing)
260
00:09:30,370 --> 00:09:31,930
- There we go.
- That's better.
261
00:09:31,940 --> 00:09:33,230
All right now, Screech,
262
00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:34,600
if we can convince The Babbler
263
00:09:34,600 --> 00:09:36,300
that you really are an alien
264
00:09:36,310 --> 00:09:38,210
they'll pay us $10,000.
265
00:09:39,840 --> 00:09:41,410
- Gee, I don't know.
266
00:09:41,410 --> 00:09:43,040
- Now Screech,
just think of what
267
00:09:43,050 --> 00:09:45,180
you can do with your share.
268
00:09:46,320 --> 00:09:48,950
- I could buy a new
tractor for my ant farm.
269
00:09:48,950 --> 00:09:50,320
(audience laughing)
270
00:09:50,320 --> 00:09:51,620
- Then you'll do it?
271
00:09:51,620 --> 00:09:53,750
- Well, I'll have to
let you know later.
272
00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:56,790
Gotta drop this doctor's note
off at Mr. Belding's office.
273
00:09:56,790 --> 00:09:58,230
- Well meet us at lunch, okay?
274
00:09:58,230 --> 00:09:59,730
- [Woman On Radio]
For country eating,
275
00:09:59,730 --> 00:10:03,400
there's no beating Billy
Joe Bob's House O' Possum.
276
00:10:03,400 --> 00:10:06,400
(audience laughing)
277
00:10:08,070 --> 00:10:09,640
- Now let me get this straight.
278
00:10:09,640 --> 00:10:11,310
You're a lieutenant
in the Air Force?
279
00:10:11,310 --> 00:10:12,810
Then where's your uniform?
280
00:10:12,810 --> 00:10:14,040
- It's under my suit.
281
00:10:14,040 --> 00:10:15,980
I'm working undercover (laughs).
282
00:10:15,980 --> 00:10:19,080
(audience laughing)
It's a little Air Force humor.
283
00:10:19,080 --> 00:10:20,350
- Oh (laughs).
284
00:10:20,350 --> 00:10:22,550
- Dale Thompson, UFO
Investigation Unit.
285
00:10:22,550 --> 00:10:23,550
We're cur--
(pencil cup clatters)
286
00:10:23,550 --> 00:10:25,520
(audience laughing)
287
00:10:25,520 --> 00:10:26,550
They have a spot for that.
288
00:10:26,560 --> 00:10:27,390
- I'll get it.
289
00:10:27,390 --> 00:10:29,290
It's okay, it's okay.
290
00:10:29,290 --> 00:10:31,590
- I'm here to investigate
an alien sighting.
291
00:10:31,590 --> 00:10:33,530
- You really believe that
there are people here
292
00:10:33,530 --> 00:10:34,860
from other planets?
293
00:10:34,860 --> 00:10:36,530
- Well, they have
to be somewhere.
294
00:10:37,730 --> 00:10:39,470
- Well, lieutenant, I
think you're wasting
295
00:10:39,470 --> 00:10:41,270
your time here at Bayside.
296
00:10:41,270 --> 00:10:44,110
The only flying saucers here
are in the school cafeteria.
297
00:10:44,110 --> 00:10:46,840
(audience laughing)
298
00:10:46,840 --> 00:10:48,440
- Then there have
been sightings!
299
00:10:49,650 --> 00:10:51,110
- That was a joke,
Lieutenant Thompson.
300
00:10:51,110 --> 00:10:53,010
Like, food fights
and kids (laughs).
301
00:10:53,020 --> 00:10:54,350
- Oh, a joke.
302
00:10:54,350 --> 00:10:55,580
That's very (laughs).
303
00:10:55,580 --> 00:10:57,220
I'm new on the job, Mr. Belding.
304
00:10:57,220 --> 00:10:58,790
I have to check out everything.
305
00:10:58,790 --> 00:11:02,290
Besides, one of your students
claims to have made contact.
306
00:11:02,290 --> 00:11:03,120
- What student?
307
00:11:04,330 --> 00:11:05,660
- Zack Morris.
308
00:11:05,660 --> 00:11:07,830
(audience laughing)
309
00:11:07,830 --> 00:11:08,660
I'm sorry.
- No, no, no.
310
00:11:08,670 --> 00:11:10,330
I got it, I got it.
311
00:11:10,330 --> 00:11:11,930
I'll just put it over here.
312
00:11:12,800 --> 00:11:13,970
Zack Morris, huh?
313
00:11:13,970 --> 00:11:15,140
Listen, the only thing alien
314
00:11:15,140 --> 00:11:18,140
to Zack Morris is good behavior.
315
00:11:18,140 --> 00:11:20,140
Why don't I just
show you his file?
316
00:11:24,750 --> 00:11:26,650
(audience laughing)
317
00:11:26,650 --> 00:11:29,920
You know, maybe I
better hold onto this.
318
00:11:29,920 --> 00:11:31,820
- Please, I've got
two hands (laughs).
319
00:11:36,960 --> 00:11:40,760
(audience laughing)
320
00:11:40,760 --> 00:11:43,430
I'll just look
through this material.
321
00:11:43,430 --> 00:11:45,000
Fascinating stuff.
322
00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:48,340
- Trust me, there's nothing
unusual going on at Bayside.
323
00:11:48,340 --> 00:11:49,870
Except perhaps you.
324
00:11:51,710 --> 00:11:55,240
- [Woman On Speaker]
Mr. Belding?
325
00:11:55,240 --> 00:11:56,710
- Yes?
326
00:11:56,710 --> 00:11:58,250
- [Woman On Speaker]
Please report to the gym.
327
00:11:58,250 --> 00:12:00,820
The water polo team has a
horse in the pool again.
328
00:12:00,820 --> 00:12:02,550
(audience laughing)
- Thank you.
329
00:12:03,550 --> 00:12:04,720
Kids love horseplay.
330
00:12:04,720 --> 00:12:07,350
(audience laughing)
331
00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:08,420
Excuse me.
332
00:12:08,420 --> 00:12:10,460
I'll be right back.
333
00:12:14,730 --> 00:12:16,960
(knocking)
334
00:12:18,130 --> 00:12:20,330
- Hi, I'm looking
for Mr. Belding.
335
00:12:20,340 --> 00:12:21,540
- He just left.
336
00:12:21,540 --> 00:12:23,800
- I'll just leave
this note on his desk.
337
00:12:25,910 --> 00:12:27,840
- [Commercial Announcer]
Win three five pressure--
338
00:12:27,840 --> 00:12:29,440
(audience laughing)
339
00:12:29,450 --> 00:12:31,410
- What was that?
340
00:12:31,410 --> 00:12:33,750
- [Man On Radio] Come
in, vector niner zebra.
341
00:12:33,750 --> 00:12:34,750
(audience laughing)
342
00:12:34,750 --> 00:12:35,580
- Wait a minute.
343
00:12:36,750 --> 00:12:39,320
Who, or should I
say what, are you?
344
00:12:42,290 --> 00:12:44,320
- Come on, Screech,
don't worry about it.
345
00:12:44,330 --> 00:12:45,990
It'll be easy to
convince Mr. Thompson
346
00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:47,360
you're from outer space.
347
00:12:47,360 --> 00:12:49,630
- I don't know if I can do that.
348
00:12:49,630 --> 00:12:52,400
- Screech, we're all gonna
be there to help you.
349
00:12:52,400 --> 00:12:53,800
(all murmuring agreement)
350
00:12:53,800 --> 00:12:55,070
- And just for insurance,
351
00:12:55,070 --> 00:12:56,600
I asked Max to show
you a few tricks.
352
00:12:58,840 --> 00:13:00,810
- I think I can teach you
how to act like an alien.
353
00:13:00,810 --> 00:13:02,710
- You remember Mork
from Mork and Mindy?
354
00:13:02,710 --> 00:13:04,780
He had a strange
way of drinking.
355
00:13:04,780 --> 00:13:06,450
Lisa, could I have
some of your milk?
356
00:13:06,450 --> 00:13:07,280
- Yeah.
357
00:13:10,090 --> 00:13:12,090
(slurping)
(audience laughing)
358
00:13:12,090 --> 00:13:13,090
- [All] Wow!
359
00:13:14,390 --> 00:13:17,320
- (burps) Excuse me.
360
00:13:17,330 --> 00:13:18,530
- That's great, Max.
361
00:13:18,530 --> 00:13:19,760
Do some more.
362
00:13:19,760 --> 00:13:21,200
- Well, this next one's
from my uncle Martin.
363
00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:22,460
He's my favorite martian.
364
00:13:23,500 --> 00:13:25,370
This one will convince anyone.
365
00:13:27,770 --> 00:13:30,170
(electronic warbling)
366
00:13:30,170 --> 00:13:31,770
- [All] Whoa!
367
00:13:31,770 --> 00:13:32,970
- This is all great, Max,
368
00:13:32,980 --> 00:13:34,110
but we have to
make this reporter
369
00:13:34,110 --> 00:13:36,010
believe that
Screech is an alien.
370
00:13:36,010 --> 00:13:37,340
- Well, the best
illusions are created
371
00:13:37,350 --> 00:13:38,610
in the mind of the beholder.
372
00:13:38,610 --> 00:13:39,850
Here's what we can do.
373
00:13:39,850 --> 00:13:41,780
(upbeat music)
374
00:13:41,780 --> 00:13:43,080
- This way, Mr. Thompson.
375
00:13:43,090 --> 00:13:44,990
This is where we
usually see the alien.
376
00:13:44,990 --> 00:13:46,720
- I still don't
understand why an alien
377
00:13:46,720 --> 00:13:48,460
would choose to
appear at a school.
378
00:13:50,360 --> 00:13:53,230
- Maybe he wants to take
English as a second language.
379
00:13:53,230 --> 00:13:56,400
(electronic warbling)
380
00:13:57,600 --> 00:13:59,170
Hey, I heard those same
noises the last time,
381
00:13:59,170 --> 00:14:01,140
just before the alien appeared.
382
00:14:01,140 --> 00:14:03,700
(lockers rattling and clanging)
383
00:14:03,710 --> 00:14:06,270
(audience laughing)
384
00:14:06,280 --> 00:14:07,570
- Telekinesis.
385
00:14:07,580 --> 00:14:09,610
A sure sign of a
close encounter.
386
00:14:10,880 --> 00:14:13,050
(audience laughing)
387
00:14:13,050 --> 00:14:15,180
- Mr. Thompson, that's him.
388
00:14:15,180 --> 00:14:18,290
That's the alien.
389
00:14:18,290 --> 00:14:19,750
- Amazing.
390
00:14:19,760 --> 00:14:21,560
Another life form.
391
00:14:21,560 --> 00:14:24,730
(electronic warbling)
392
00:14:26,900 --> 00:14:28,130
- He likes you.
393
00:14:29,830 --> 00:14:33,330
(audience laughing)
394
00:14:33,340 --> 00:14:35,140
- Mr. Thompson, I
wouldn't get too close.
395
00:14:35,140 --> 00:14:36,370
- Oh, I have to.
396
00:14:36,370 --> 00:14:39,310
This is a once in a
lifetime opportunity.
397
00:14:39,310 --> 00:14:40,440
Greetings.
398
00:14:40,440 --> 00:14:42,380
I come here in peace.
399
00:14:42,380 --> 00:14:43,640
- Greetings back.
400
00:14:43,650 --> 00:14:47,380
I came in my mother's
car, in my mothership.
401
00:14:47,380 --> 00:14:48,920
- He speaks our language.
402
00:14:48,920 --> 00:14:51,650
- It must be
instantaneous translation.
403
00:14:51,650 --> 00:14:54,220
- Yeah, I have an ear for human.
404
00:14:54,220 --> 00:14:57,220
(audience laughing)
405
00:15:02,530 --> 00:15:04,060
- I think it's
time for the alien
406
00:15:04,070 --> 00:15:05,470
to return to his planet now.
407
00:15:05,470 --> 00:15:06,400
- Wait a minute.
408
00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:08,100
Something weird's going on here.
409
00:15:08,100 --> 00:15:10,440
- Well, that's what close
encounters are all about, sir.
410
00:15:10,440 --> 00:15:12,140
Now, about that $10,000 check?
411
00:15:12,140 --> 00:15:15,580
- If he's an alien,
I'm from Mars.
412
00:15:15,580 --> 00:15:16,980
- I'll take an out
of state check.
413
00:15:16,980 --> 00:15:18,450
- Who are you?
414
00:15:18,450 --> 00:15:20,710
- [Man On Radio] Pierce
Logan with the Nightly News.
415
00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:22,220
- I've heard that now.
416
00:15:22,220 --> 00:15:24,420
You're that weird kid I saw
in the principle's office.
417
00:15:24,420 --> 00:15:26,150
All right, what
is going on here?
418
00:15:27,920 --> 00:15:29,390
- Hey everyone, come on out.
419
00:15:29,390 --> 00:15:30,290
The game's over.
420
00:15:33,860 --> 00:15:36,160
(electronic warbling)
421
00:15:36,170 --> 00:15:38,830
(audience laughing)
422
00:15:38,830 --> 00:15:40,370
He saw right through us.
423
00:15:40,370 --> 00:15:43,400
- So this was all just
some teenage prank?
424
00:15:43,410 --> 00:15:45,040
Who do you think
you're fooling, kid?
425
00:15:45,040 --> 00:15:47,140
- Well, for one
thing I'm not a kid.
426
00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:50,680
(audience laughing)
427
00:15:50,680 --> 00:15:52,050
I'm tired of pretending I'm one
428
00:15:52,050 --> 00:15:54,480
of you ugly humans
for all these years.
429
00:15:56,020 --> 00:15:57,050
- Screech, what are
you talking about?
430
00:15:57,050 --> 00:15:58,550
- I'm not Screech.
431
00:15:58,550 --> 00:16:00,050
I'm Zorch.
432
00:16:00,060 --> 00:16:03,060
(audience laughing)
433
00:16:04,790 --> 00:16:06,460
- He really is an alien!
434
00:16:06,460 --> 00:16:09,360
- This explains so much.
435
00:16:09,370 --> 00:16:11,200
- This is truly an
historic occasion.
436
00:16:11,200 --> 00:16:13,330
I mean, even when I
thought it was real
437
00:16:13,340 --> 00:16:14,570
and sensed it was a prank,
438
00:16:14,570 --> 00:16:16,770
I really still
sensed it was real.
439
00:16:16,770 --> 00:16:18,010
(audience laughing)
440
00:16:18,010 --> 00:16:19,510
Once we get the alien
back to Washington,
441
00:16:19,510 --> 00:16:20,770
we'll have to see about
getting you kids a medal.
442
00:16:20,780 --> 00:16:22,440
- And $10,000, right?
443
00:16:22,450 --> 00:16:24,580
- Well, that'd be up
to the government, son.
444
00:16:24,580 --> 00:16:28,120
I'm Lieutenant Thompson,
Special Agent UFO Division.
445
00:16:28,120 --> 00:16:29,450
- You're with the government?
446
00:16:29,450 --> 00:16:30,620
- That's right.
447
00:16:30,620 --> 00:16:32,290
I'm taking the
alien in for tests.
448
00:16:32,290 --> 00:16:33,320
- Tests?
449
00:16:33,320 --> 00:16:34,790
- What kind of tests?
450
00:16:34,790 --> 00:16:36,290
- Well, we'll know more
about our new little friend
451
00:16:36,290 --> 00:16:37,090
once we dissect him.
452
00:16:37,090 --> 00:16:38,630
- Dissect!
453
00:16:38,630 --> 00:16:43,630
Yikes!
(audience laughing)
454
00:16:43,630 --> 00:16:45,470
(upbeat music)
455
00:16:45,470 --> 00:16:48,470
(keyboard clacking)
456
00:16:50,610 --> 00:16:53,610
(audience laughing)
457
00:16:57,180 --> 00:16:59,010
- Hey Screech, how 'bout
turning off the light
458
00:16:59,020 --> 00:17:00,650
and finishing another day?
459
00:17:00,650 --> 00:17:03,320
- There might not
be another day.
460
00:17:03,320 --> 00:17:04,620
I'm writing my will.
461
00:17:04,620 --> 00:17:05,790
(Zack groans)
462
00:17:05,790 --> 00:17:07,490
(audience laughing)
463
00:17:07,490 --> 00:17:11,090
After I'm gone, make sure Lisa
gets my reptile collection.
464
00:17:12,060 --> 00:17:13,390
It'll ease her pain.
465
00:17:13,400 --> 00:17:14,900
(audience laughing)
466
00:17:14,900 --> 00:17:17,000
- Look, will you relax?
467
00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:18,230
By noontime tomorrow
I'll have this
468
00:17:18,230 --> 00:17:20,270
all straightened out, okay.
469
00:17:20,270 --> 00:17:21,370
Now can we go to sleep now?
470
00:17:21,370 --> 00:17:24,370
(keyboard clacking)
471
00:17:29,910 --> 00:17:31,250
- I gotta say my prayers.
472
00:17:34,080 --> 00:17:36,520
(Zack sighs)
473
00:17:40,260 --> 00:17:42,390
Dear big guy in the sky.
474
00:17:42,390 --> 00:17:44,490
(audience laughing)
475
00:17:44,490 --> 00:17:46,460
It's the Screecher again.
476
00:17:46,460 --> 00:17:48,930
(audience laughing)
477
00:17:48,930 --> 00:17:51,330
Well, I guess I'm gonna
be seeing you real soon.
478
00:17:53,070 --> 00:17:55,970
If I have to go to Heaven,
can Zack come with me?
479
00:17:55,970 --> 00:17:58,970
(audience laughing)
480
00:18:02,010 --> 00:18:03,640
First day in a new place is hard
481
00:18:03,650 --> 00:18:05,050
when you don't know anybody.
482
00:18:06,820 --> 00:18:08,480
Amen.
483
00:18:08,480 --> 00:18:09,320
Let's turn in.
484
00:18:10,250 --> 00:18:11,820
- Thank you.
485
00:18:11,820 --> 00:18:14,820
(audience laughing)
486
00:18:22,160 --> 00:18:25,330
Hey Screech, you really want
me to go to Heaven with you?
487
00:18:25,330 --> 00:18:28,240
- Of course, you're
my best friend.
488
00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:29,240
I'd really miss you.
489
00:18:34,010 --> 00:18:35,540
(audience laughing)
490
00:18:35,540 --> 00:18:37,710
- Thanks, Screech.
491
00:18:37,710 --> 00:18:40,710
(audience laughing)
492
00:18:43,990 --> 00:18:45,290
- Zack.
493
00:18:45,290 --> 00:18:46,850
- Yeah?
494
00:18:46,860 --> 00:18:48,590
- Do they wear
underwear in Heaven?
495
00:18:48,590 --> 00:18:51,130
(audience laughing)
496
00:18:51,130 --> 00:18:53,690
(upbeat music)
497
00:18:55,860 --> 00:18:59,330
- (laughs) Let me get
this straight, Lieutenant.
498
00:18:59,340 --> 00:19:01,970
You think Screech
Powers is an alien.
499
00:19:01,970 --> 00:19:04,840
- He's the most bizarre
creature I've ever seen.
500
00:19:06,310 --> 00:19:09,640
- That's true but it doesn't
mean he's from outer space.
501
00:19:09,650 --> 00:19:11,950
- Are you questioning
my expertise?
502
00:19:13,350 --> 00:19:14,280
- Just--
503
00:19:14,280 --> 00:19:15,920
- Or you're just covering up?
504
00:19:15,920 --> 00:19:17,980
Aliens never travel
alone, you know.
505
00:19:17,990 --> 00:19:20,150
Let me see those ears, mister.
506
00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:21,690
(audience laughing)
- Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
507
00:19:21,690 --> 00:19:22,920
Let go!
508
00:19:22,920 --> 00:19:24,560
You know, maybe you
should just leave.
509
00:19:24,560 --> 00:19:27,430
You're disrupting my school
and frankly, you're bugging me.
510
00:19:27,430 --> 00:19:29,400
(audience laughing)
511
00:19:29,400 --> 00:19:30,900
- Okay Belding, you're messing
512
00:19:30,900 --> 00:19:32,430
with the federal government here
513
00:19:32,430 --> 00:19:36,000
and Uncle Sam can get pretty
crabby with a guy like you.
514
00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:37,700
Produce that alien
by three o'clock
515
00:19:37,710 --> 00:19:39,770
and that's an order, mister.
516
00:19:42,440 --> 00:19:44,880
(door slams)
517
00:19:45,780 --> 00:19:47,180
Forgot my hat.
518
00:19:47,180 --> 00:19:49,680
(audience laughing)
519
00:19:49,690 --> 00:19:51,080
- You really think
this is going to work?
520
00:19:51,090 --> 00:19:52,650
- Have I ever let you down, sir?
521
00:19:52,660 --> 00:19:54,720
- I wish you hadn't said that.
522
00:19:54,720 --> 00:19:56,620
(audience laughing)
523
00:19:56,630 --> 00:19:59,060
- Well Belding, I'm glad to
see you came to your senses.
524
00:19:59,060 --> 00:20:00,560
Now where's my alien?
525
00:20:00,560 --> 00:20:03,660
- Oh, he'll be beaming in
momentarily, sir (chuckles).
526
00:20:03,670 --> 00:20:04,570
(locker rattles)
527
00:20:04,570 --> 00:20:06,000
- [Screech] I'm here.
528
00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:06,830
(audience laughing)
529
00:20:06,840 --> 00:20:07,770
- Come on out, Screech.
530
00:20:07,770 --> 00:20:09,000
The lieutenant is waiting.
531
00:20:13,940 --> 00:20:15,640
- Well, I see he's
back to wearing
532
00:20:15,640 --> 00:20:18,280
that strange looking human mask.
533
00:20:18,280 --> 00:20:19,950
- The strange
looking part is me.
534
00:20:19,950 --> 00:20:21,950
- All right, you might
have fooled me once before
535
00:20:21,950 --> 00:20:24,220
but this time you're
coming with me.
536
00:20:24,220 --> 00:20:26,920
- Are you sure you have the
right alien, lieutenant?
537
00:20:26,920 --> 00:20:29,620
(lockers rattling)
538
00:20:29,630 --> 00:20:32,360
(audience laughing)
539
00:20:32,360 --> 00:20:33,590
- What's going on?
540
00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:36,560
(audience laughing)
541
00:20:38,500 --> 00:20:39,330
- What is this?
542
00:20:39,340 --> 00:20:40,300
A joke?
543
00:20:40,300 --> 00:20:41,440
- Like you said, lieutenant.
544
00:20:41,440 --> 00:20:42,970
Aliens never travel alone.
545
00:20:42,970 --> 00:20:44,200
- That's right.
546
00:20:44,210 --> 00:20:45,570
Looks like if you're
gonna take one,
547
00:20:45,570 --> 00:20:47,910
you're gonna have
to take us all.
548
00:20:47,910 --> 00:20:51,510
(audience laughing)
549
00:20:51,510 --> 00:20:52,980
- I'm not a real
alien, lieutenant.
550
00:20:52,980 --> 00:20:55,220
I just used this to fool you.
551
00:20:55,220 --> 00:20:57,920
- (chuckles) Well,
that's not very honest.
552
00:20:57,920 --> 00:20:59,820
- Yeah, well neither is
telling a bunch of kids
553
00:20:59,820 --> 00:21:01,290
that you're from a newspaper.
554
00:21:01,290 --> 00:21:03,990
(all shouting agreement)
555
00:21:03,990 --> 00:21:05,360
- I knew I should have
listened to my mother
556
00:21:05,360 --> 00:21:06,490
and become a doctor.
557
00:21:08,300 --> 00:21:10,430
- I guess we won't be
seeing him for a while.
558
00:21:10,430 --> 00:21:13,630
(chattering)
559
00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:16,670
- We might be seeing him
sooner than we had hoped, sir.
560
00:21:16,670 --> 00:21:18,270
These are his car keys.
561
00:21:19,140 --> 00:21:19,970
- Zack.
562
00:21:19,980 --> 00:21:21,170
- It was a backup plan.
563
00:21:21,180 --> 00:21:23,340
Couldn't let him
take away my buddy.
564
00:21:23,350 --> 00:21:25,110
- Hey, you realize
this is the first time
565
00:21:25,110 --> 00:21:28,350
we've been on the
same side on anything?
566
00:21:28,350 --> 00:21:30,080
Maybe we should
team up more often.
567
00:21:31,250 --> 00:21:33,950
- [Both] Nah, I don't think so.
568
00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:38,960
(audience laughing)
(upbeat music)
569
00:21:43,800 --> 00:21:46,530
(exciting music)
38794
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