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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,060 --> 00:00:03,000 (alarm ringing) 2 00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:04,430 ♪ When I wake up in the morning ♪ 3 00:00:04,430 --> 00:00:05,830 ♪ And the alarm gives out a warning ♪ 4 00:00:05,840 --> 00:00:08,840 ♪ I don't think I'll ever make it on time ♪ 5 00:00:08,840 --> 00:00:11,710 ♪ By the time I grab my books and I give myself a look ♪ 6 00:00:11,710 --> 00:00:15,280 ♪ I'm at the corner just in time to see the bus fly by ♪ 7 00:00:15,280 --> 00:00:20,280 ♪ It's all right 'cause I'm saved by the bell ♪ 8 00:00:21,680 --> 00:00:24,090 ♪ If the teacher pops a test I know I'm in a mess ♪ 9 00:00:24,090 --> 00:00:27,020 ♪ And my dog ate all my homework last night ♪ 10 00:00:27,020 --> 00:00:30,030 ♪ Riding' low in my chair, she won't know that I'm there ♪ 11 00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:33,530 ♪ If I can hand it in tomorrow it'll be all right ♪ 12 00:00:33,530 --> 00:00:38,500 ♪ It's all right, 'cause I'm saved by the bell ♪ 13 00:00:52,080 --> 00:00:54,950 ♪ It's all right, 'cause I'm saved by the ♪ 14 00:00:54,950 --> 00:00:57,950 ♪ It's all right, 'cause I'm saved by the ♪ 15 00:00:57,950 --> 00:01:02,790 ♪ It's all right, 'cause I'm saved by the bell ♪ 16 00:01:05,600 --> 00:01:08,200 (upbeat music) 17 00:01:13,940 --> 00:01:16,570 - [Zack] I'll never forget the day Slater showed up. 18 00:01:16,570 --> 00:01:19,240 (phone ringing) 19 00:01:23,710 --> 00:01:25,450 - [Cindy] Good morning, Zack. 20 00:01:25,450 --> 00:01:28,180 This is Cindy, your wake-up caller. 21 00:01:28,190 --> 00:01:30,120 It's seven o'clock, tiger. 22 00:01:30,120 --> 00:01:31,390 Time to roar. 23 00:01:31,390 --> 00:01:34,960 (audience laughing) 24 00:01:34,960 --> 00:01:36,720 - It's the first day of school 25 00:01:36,730 --> 00:01:38,460 and I can't wait to get there. 26 00:01:38,460 --> 00:01:39,290 Why? 27 00:01:42,200 --> 00:01:45,570 (audience laughing) 28 00:01:45,570 --> 00:01:47,240 Kelly Kapowski. 29 00:01:47,240 --> 00:01:51,270 Loves volleyball, windsurfing, and soon, me. 30 00:01:51,270 --> 00:01:53,070 This is the year that I make my move. 31 00:01:56,010 --> 00:01:57,210 Do you mind? 32 00:01:57,210 --> 00:01:59,080 Mingle among yourselves. 33 00:01:59,080 --> 00:02:01,920 (audience laughing) 34 00:02:03,420 --> 00:02:04,890 How do I look? 35 00:02:04,890 --> 00:02:07,490 (upbeat music) 36 00:02:17,600 --> 00:02:20,140 - I'm so jazzed, I got all the best teachers. 37 00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:22,400 - The best teachers are the ones who call in sick. 38 00:02:22,410 --> 00:02:24,170 (audience laughing) 39 00:02:24,170 --> 00:02:26,210 - How's your schedule? - Well, it's the worst. 40 00:02:26,210 --> 00:02:28,480 I only have one lunch period. 41 00:02:28,480 --> 00:02:31,110 - Zack, this may come as a shock to you, 42 00:02:31,110 --> 00:02:34,650 but eduction is more than just French fries and tuna melts. 43 00:02:34,650 --> 00:02:35,650 - That's right, Jessie. 44 00:02:35,650 --> 00:02:36,750 You forgot cheeseburgers. 45 00:02:36,750 --> 00:02:38,120 (audience laughing) 46 00:02:38,120 --> 00:02:39,550 - [Mr. Belding] Welcome back, Tracy. 47 00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:42,520 - Hi, Mr. Belding. - Great to see you, Jessie. 48 00:02:42,530 --> 00:02:46,330 Morris, the thorn in my paw. 49 00:02:46,330 --> 00:02:49,130 - Mr. Belding, sir, you look great. 50 00:02:49,130 --> 00:02:50,530 - Oh, really? 51 00:02:50,530 --> 00:02:52,600 - You've lost at least 10 pounds. 52 00:02:52,600 --> 00:02:53,930 Must have been working out. 53 00:02:55,370 --> 00:02:57,540 - Well, Mrs. B and I did take up synchronized swimming. 54 00:02:58,910 --> 00:03:00,070 You haven't seen Dirty Dancing 55 00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:01,480 'til you've seen us underwater (laughing). 56 00:03:01,480 --> 00:03:04,210 (audience laughing) 57 00:03:04,210 --> 00:03:05,180 - Can't wait, sir. 58 00:03:06,380 --> 00:03:08,380 And you'll probably be a better principal for it. 59 00:03:08,390 --> 00:03:09,580 - Well, thank you Zack. 60 00:03:09,590 --> 00:03:10,920 And may I add that you have not 61 00:03:10,920 --> 00:03:12,620 lost your ability to suck up. 62 00:03:12,620 --> 00:03:13,450 (audience laughing) 63 00:03:13,460 --> 00:03:14,860 - Thank you, sir. 64 00:03:17,190 --> 00:03:18,490 - This is a disaster. 65 00:03:18,500 --> 00:03:20,600 My entire year has just been ruined. 66 00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:23,030 - What, did Revlon discontinue your lipstick, Lisa? 67 00:03:23,030 --> 00:03:24,000 (audience laughing) 68 00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:25,470 - That's not funny, Zack. 69 00:03:25,470 --> 00:03:28,370 They gave me a locker surrounded by nerds. 70 00:03:28,370 --> 00:03:30,000 (audience laughing) 71 00:03:30,010 --> 00:03:31,970 Zack, you've gotta get me another locker. 72 00:03:31,970 --> 00:03:33,440 I'll owe you a big one. 73 00:03:34,680 --> 00:03:35,940 - Define big. 74 00:03:35,950 --> 00:03:37,180 (audience laughing) 75 00:03:37,180 --> 00:03:38,450 - I'll do your Spanish homework for a week. 76 00:03:38,450 --> 00:03:39,380 - You're on. 77 00:03:39,380 --> 00:03:40,110 I'll see what I can do, okay? 78 00:03:40,120 --> 00:03:40,950 - Thanks, Zack. 79 00:03:42,750 --> 00:03:45,490 - Lockers, the key to my plan. 80 00:03:45,490 --> 00:03:47,420 Kelly was assigned this locker, 81 00:03:47,420 --> 00:03:49,860 which means the one next to it will soon be mine. 82 00:03:51,460 --> 00:03:52,290 Hi, you're new here. 83 00:03:52,300 --> 00:03:53,700 I'm Zack Morris. 84 00:03:53,700 --> 00:03:54,560 - And I'm Roger Rabbit. 85 00:03:54,560 --> 00:03:55,460 So what? 86 00:03:55,470 --> 00:03:56,900 (audience laughing) 87 00:03:56,900 --> 00:03:58,530 - Come on, what's your name? 88 00:03:58,540 --> 00:04:00,030 - Slater. 89 00:04:00,040 --> 00:04:02,440 - Well, Slater, too bad you got stuck with a bum locker. 90 00:04:02,440 --> 00:04:03,670 Hey, why don't you take mine? 91 00:04:03,670 --> 00:04:05,070 It's right next to the girl's bathroom. 92 00:04:05,070 --> 00:04:07,170 - Unless it's in the girl's bathroom, forget it. 93 00:04:07,180 --> 00:04:08,710 (audience laughing) 94 00:04:08,710 --> 00:04:11,210 - You don't understand, I'm letting you have my locker. 95 00:04:11,210 --> 00:04:12,050 - Hi, Zack. 96 00:04:14,150 --> 00:04:14,980 - No thanks. 97 00:04:14,980 --> 00:04:17,250 (audience laughing) 98 00:04:17,250 --> 00:04:18,090 - I'm Kelly. 99 00:04:18,090 --> 00:04:19,020 Who are you? 100 00:04:19,020 --> 00:04:20,390 - Whoever you want me to be. 101 00:04:20,390 --> 00:04:21,660 (audience laughing) 102 00:04:21,660 --> 00:04:22,490 - He's funny. 103 00:04:22,490 --> 00:04:23,320 See you guys later. 104 00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:26,730 - Does she always smell that good? 105 00:04:26,730 --> 00:04:30,370 - Kelly Kapowski, you don't want anything to do with her. 106 00:04:30,370 --> 00:04:31,570 - Why not? 107 00:04:31,570 --> 00:04:34,970 - She's, uh, she has leprosy. 108 00:04:34,970 --> 00:04:36,440 (audience laughing) 109 00:04:36,440 --> 00:04:38,610 - Hey, we all have skin problems, right? 110 00:04:39,810 --> 00:04:41,010 - Okay, okay, look. 111 00:04:42,210 --> 00:04:44,380 You give me your locker, and I'll give you 112 00:04:44,380 --> 00:04:47,950 a genuine hall pass with the principal's signature. 113 00:04:47,950 --> 00:04:49,620 - That ain't Belding's signature. 114 00:04:51,350 --> 00:04:53,550 This is Belding's signature. 115 00:04:53,560 --> 00:04:55,960 (audience laughing) 116 00:04:55,960 --> 00:04:57,760 - This is Belding's signature. 117 00:04:57,760 --> 00:04:59,260 How'd you get this? 118 00:04:59,260 --> 00:05:02,860 - Look kid, I've been in 14 schools in the last three years. 119 00:05:02,870 --> 00:05:04,830 I've got hall passes in five languages. 120 00:05:04,830 --> 00:05:06,630 - Awesome. - Bonjour, pal. 121 00:05:08,340 --> 00:05:09,640 - I don't like him already. 122 00:05:09,640 --> 00:05:12,540 (audience laughing) 123 00:05:12,540 --> 00:05:15,080 Hey, there he is, my main man. 124 00:05:18,320 --> 00:05:19,980 I'm talking to you, Screech. 125 00:05:19,980 --> 00:05:22,350 - Oh, wow, thanks. 126 00:05:22,350 --> 00:05:23,880 - Hey, Screech buddy. 127 00:05:23,890 --> 00:05:25,750 If you could share your locker with anybody 128 00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:28,320 in this whole school, who would it be? 129 00:05:28,330 --> 00:05:29,590 - You Zack, of course. 130 00:05:29,590 --> 00:05:31,230 - Great, because I'm moving in. 131 00:05:32,090 --> 00:05:34,960 - Wow, you and me, roommates. 132 00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:37,430 Thanks for letting me share my locker. 133 00:05:37,430 --> 00:05:39,030 - Hey, we're buddies, aren't we? 134 00:05:41,370 --> 00:05:45,240 Say, buddy, do you mind putting your books on the bottom? 135 00:05:45,240 --> 00:05:47,170 There's some kind of jelly down there. 136 00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:48,540 - Well, we can't have that. 137 00:05:50,410 --> 00:05:52,480 Let me tidy up our place. 138 00:05:52,480 --> 00:05:55,250 (audience laughing) 139 00:05:55,250 --> 00:05:57,850 (vacuum whirring) 140 00:05:57,850 --> 00:06:00,320 (upbeat music) 141 00:06:05,700 --> 00:06:07,400 - After your locker, the most important 142 00:06:07,400 --> 00:06:09,230 thing is where you sit in class. 143 00:06:09,230 --> 00:06:12,100 That's why I've got to sit next to Kelly. 144 00:06:12,100 --> 00:06:14,800 Lucky for me, Jessie is sitting there now. 145 00:06:14,800 --> 00:06:16,640 We're like brother and sister. 146 00:06:16,640 --> 00:06:17,710 - No way, Zack. 147 00:06:17,710 --> 00:06:19,310 - Jessie, you're my best friend. 148 00:06:19,310 --> 00:06:20,540 How can you turn me down? 149 00:06:20,540 --> 00:06:22,080 - Because I don't want to sit in the back. 150 00:06:22,080 --> 00:06:23,510 I want to learn. 151 00:06:23,510 --> 00:06:24,650 - Well, so do I. 152 00:06:24,650 --> 00:06:27,950 This year I wanna study, honest. 153 00:06:27,950 --> 00:06:30,520 - All you wanna study is Kelly, honest. 154 00:06:31,550 --> 00:06:33,720 - Are you kidding, that bow wow? 155 00:06:33,720 --> 00:06:35,220 (audience laughing) 156 00:06:35,220 --> 00:06:37,560 - Come on, everyone knows you've got the hots for her. 157 00:06:39,100 --> 00:06:40,930 - Well, they do now, thanks to you. 158 00:06:40,930 --> 00:06:44,160 (audience laughing) 159 00:06:44,170 --> 00:06:45,870 Look, can I have your seat or not? 160 00:06:45,870 --> 00:06:48,370 - Sorry, find yourself another pigeon. 161 00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:51,570 - Oh, Lisa. 162 00:06:51,570 --> 00:06:53,410 (audience laughing) 163 00:06:53,410 --> 00:06:55,140 Can I talk to you for a second? 164 00:06:55,140 --> 00:06:55,980 - Sure. 165 00:06:58,780 --> 00:07:00,180 - I got you a new locker. 166 00:07:00,180 --> 00:07:01,450 - Zack, you're incredible. 167 00:07:01,450 --> 00:07:02,280 Where is it? 168 00:07:02,290 --> 00:07:03,520 - It's 118. 169 00:07:03,520 --> 00:07:05,750 - 118, right by the boys bathroom 170 00:07:05,760 --> 00:07:08,260 where every guy will walk by me at least once a day? 171 00:07:08,260 --> 00:07:09,920 - Sometimes twice. 172 00:07:09,930 --> 00:07:11,360 - I owe you one, Zack. 173 00:07:11,360 --> 00:07:12,960 I'll do your Spanish homework for three weeks. 174 00:07:12,960 --> 00:07:14,190 - Tell you what. 175 00:07:14,200 --> 00:07:16,300 You give me your desk and we'll call it even. 176 00:07:16,300 --> 00:07:17,930 - It's yours. - Thanks, Lisa. 177 00:07:18,900 --> 00:07:22,670 (audience laughing) 178 00:07:22,670 --> 00:07:24,240 - Hi, Zack. - Hi, Kelly. 179 00:07:24,240 --> 00:07:25,640 Lisa asked me to switch, so I guess 180 00:07:25,640 --> 00:07:27,410 we'll be sitting next to each other. 181 00:07:30,810 --> 00:07:31,950 I saved you a seat. 182 00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:34,780 - I'm touched. 183 00:07:34,780 --> 00:07:37,790 (audience laughing) 184 00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:47,760 - Okay, people, settle down. 185 00:07:49,100 --> 00:07:50,200 I'm Mr. Dewey. 186 00:07:50,200 --> 00:07:51,670 How was everyone's summer? 187 00:07:51,670 --> 00:07:52,630 Mine stunk. 188 00:07:52,640 --> 00:07:53,730 Let's get started. 189 00:07:53,740 --> 00:07:56,440 (audience laughing) 190 00:07:56,440 --> 00:07:58,910 We're about to embark on an exhilarating journey 191 00:07:58,910 --> 00:08:01,380 into the exciting world of algebra. 192 00:08:01,380 --> 00:08:03,950 (audience laughing) 193 00:08:03,950 --> 00:08:06,250 I'll wait 'til your hearts stop pounding. 194 00:08:09,150 --> 00:08:10,890 Yes, you there in the back? 195 00:08:10,890 --> 00:08:12,220 - Mr. Dewey, sir. 196 00:08:13,660 --> 00:08:15,260 This is a little embarrassing. 197 00:08:15,260 --> 00:08:16,920 See, I'm legally blind in one eye 198 00:08:16,930 --> 00:08:19,060 and I really gotta sit up close. 199 00:08:19,060 --> 00:08:20,530 - Well, by all means, young man. 200 00:08:20,530 --> 00:08:22,460 I can relate to that. 201 00:08:22,470 --> 00:08:24,130 That's why I'm up here. 202 00:08:24,130 --> 00:08:26,800 (audience laughing) 203 00:08:26,800 --> 00:08:28,200 Any volunteers? 204 00:08:28,200 --> 00:08:29,340 - Sure, he can have mine. 205 00:08:29,340 --> 00:08:30,370 - No, not you. 206 00:08:30,370 --> 00:08:32,910 I mean, that's not necessary. 207 00:08:32,910 --> 00:08:35,710 - I take it then that you're volunteering? 208 00:08:35,710 --> 00:08:36,540 - Me? 209 00:08:37,750 --> 00:08:39,710 - First he offers me his locker and now his seat. 210 00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:41,750 I'm telling you, he's a regular brother Theresa. 211 00:08:41,750 --> 00:08:44,750 (audience laughing) 212 00:08:50,490 --> 00:08:51,760 - Great, Zack. 213 00:08:51,760 --> 00:08:54,190 You and me sitting together all year. 214 00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:57,200 (audience laughing) 215 00:08:58,070 --> 00:08:59,330 Oh, and about sharing lockers, 216 00:08:59,340 --> 00:09:01,300 I can't for health reasons. 217 00:09:01,300 --> 00:09:03,370 - What do you mean health reasons? 218 00:09:03,370 --> 00:09:04,740 - Slater said he'd kill me. 219 00:09:06,680 --> 00:09:09,240 (upbeat music) 220 00:09:12,380 --> 00:09:14,720 - I'm starved. - For food or Kelly? 221 00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:15,550 - Both. 222 00:09:16,750 --> 00:09:18,490 - This sure beats eating in the school cafeteria. 223 00:09:18,490 --> 00:09:21,460 - Yeah, it's nice to see a hamburger you don't have to comb. 224 00:09:21,460 --> 00:09:22,760 (audience laughing) 225 00:09:22,760 --> 00:09:25,390 - Okay, lunch is here. 226 00:09:25,390 --> 00:09:30,360 Burgers, fries, and perhaps a surprise. 227 00:09:30,370 --> 00:09:31,770 - Max, how'd you do that? 228 00:09:31,770 --> 00:09:33,970 - Easy, my rabbit handed them to me. 229 00:09:33,970 --> 00:09:35,040 Boing. 230 00:09:35,040 --> 00:09:38,040 (audience laughing) 231 00:09:41,110 --> 00:09:43,210 - I see your future squeeze. 232 00:09:43,210 --> 00:09:44,680 Have you asked her out yet? 233 00:09:44,680 --> 00:09:46,210 - Well, technically not yet. 234 00:09:46,220 --> 00:09:48,580 But in my mind, we already have children. 235 00:09:48,590 --> 00:09:51,320 (audience laughing) 236 00:09:51,320 --> 00:09:54,060 - Would you take this Coke over to Kelly? 237 00:09:54,060 --> 00:09:55,960 I'm a little short handed. 238 00:09:55,960 --> 00:09:57,360 (audience laughing) 239 00:09:57,360 --> 00:09:58,630 - Sure. - Thanks. 240 00:10:01,930 --> 00:10:03,560 - Hi. - Hi, Zack. 241 00:10:03,570 --> 00:10:05,670 - Max asked me to bring your Coke. 242 00:10:05,670 --> 00:10:07,300 - Thanks, but I didn't order one. 243 00:10:09,170 --> 00:10:12,170 (audience laughing) 244 00:10:13,480 --> 00:10:14,810 - Kelly, can I ask you something? 245 00:10:14,810 --> 00:10:16,310 - Sure, go ahead. 246 00:10:16,310 --> 00:10:20,510 - Well, uh, how was your summer? 247 00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:21,950 - Oh, it was great. 248 00:10:21,950 --> 00:10:23,850 My parents sent me to volleyball camp in Florida. 249 00:10:23,850 --> 00:10:25,950 We played on the beach every day. 250 00:10:25,960 --> 00:10:27,420 - Must have been hot. 251 00:10:27,420 --> 00:10:28,690 - Well, it wasn't the heat, it was the humidity. 252 00:10:28,690 --> 00:10:29,860 You wouldn't believe how your 253 00:10:29,860 --> 00:10:31,460 T-shirt clings right to your body. 254 00:10:31,460 --> 00:10:32,790 (audience laughing) 255 00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:35,460 - Clings, body. 256 00:10:35,460 --> 00:10:36,900 Do you mind if I have some of that Coke? 257 00:10:36,900 --> 00:10:38,330 - Well, sure, go ahead. 258 00:10:38,330 --> 00:10:41,040 Now, what was it you wanted to ask me? 259 00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:42,940 - Do you think you might like to-- 260 00:10:42,940 --> 00:10:44,400 - So, what's happening? 261 00:10:44,410 --> 00:10:45,470 Any of you guys want an onion ring? 262 00:10:45,470 --> 00:10:46,540 - Well, sure. 263 00:10:46,540 --> 00:10:49,840 (audience laughing) 264 00:10:49,850 --> 00:10:50,810 - I think we're engaged. 265 00:10:50,810 --> 00:10:52,150 - Oh, I think I'm gonna cry. 266 00:10:53,880 --> 00:10:55,450 - That makes two of us. 267 00:10:55,450 --> 00:10:56,480 (audience laughing) 268 00:10:56,490 --> 00:10:59,050 (upbeat music) 269 00:11:01,320 --> 00:11:02,820 Hey. 270 00:11:02,830 --> 00:11:05,790 I'm not really a bad guy, so please forgive me in advance. 271 00:11:05,800 --> 00:11:07,160 But what you're about to witness 272 00:11:07,160 --> 00:11:09,530 is the act of a very desperate man. 273 00:11:09,530 --> 00:11:12,570 (bell ringing) 274 00:11:12,570 --> 00:11:13,700 (Screech coughing) 275 00:11:13,700 --> 00:11:16,100 - Screech, what's wrong? 276 00:11:16,110 --> 00:11:16,940 Are you all right? 277 00:11:16,940 --> 00:11:17,870 You don't sound so good. 278 00:11:17,870 --> 00:11:19,540 - Yeah, my cat made those noises 279 00:11:19,540 --> 00:11:21,340 before he coughed up a mouse. 280 00:11:21,340 --> 00:11:22,940 (audience laughing) 281 00:11:22,950 --> 00:11:25,580 - (coughing) Bone. 282 00:11:26,820 --> 00:11:28,980 - Oh, no, he swallowed a bone. 283 00:11:28,990 --> 00:11:30,050 Somebody quick, help. 284 00:11:30,050 --> 00:11:30,890 - Here, I can handle this. 285 00:11:30,890 --> 00:11:32,390 I was a lifeguard. 286 00:11:32,390 --> 00:11:33,890 - I knew that. 287 00:11:33,890 --> 00:11:35,220 - Screech, don't panic. 288 00:11:35,220 --> 00:11:36,760 I'm gonna put my arms around you and try 289 00:11:36,760 --> 00:11:38,960 to force that bone out of your throat, okay? 290 00:11:41,160 --> 00:11:42,330 How did that feel? 291 00:11:42,330 --> 00:11:43,800 - More, more. 292 00:11:43,800 --> 00:11:44,630 - Screech. 293 00:11:44,630 --> 00:11:45,830 (audience laughing) 294 00:11:45,840 --> 00:11:47,370 - Did I get it? 295 00:11:47,370 --> 00:11:48,740 - It was wonderful. 296 00:11:48,740 --> 00:11:49,800 Was it good for you? 297 00:11:49,810 --> 00:11:52,570 (audience laughing) 298 00:11:52,580 --> 00:11:53,410 - Oh, I got it. 299 00:11:53,410 --> 00:11:55,240 The bone flew out. 300 00:11:55,240 --> 00:11:57,310 - What'd you have for lunch, coyote? 301 00:11:59,020 --> 00:12:00,510 - Hey, great work, Kelly. 302 00:12:00,520 --> 00:12:02,150 - Thanks, but now I'm gonna be late for class. 303 00:12:02,150 --> 00:12:03,980 Mr. Minovitch is gonna kill me. 304 00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:08,020 - How did I do, Zack? 305 00:12:08,020 --> 00:12:09,690 - You did great, perfect. 306 00:12:09,690 --> 00:12:10,790 Now, go save me a seat in study hall. 307 00:12:10,790 --> 00:12:12,330 I'll be right there, okay? 308 00:12:12,330 --> 00:12:13,530 Thanks, buddy. 309 00:12:13,530 --> 00:12:14,330 - Miss Kapowski, you've been with me before. 310 00:12:14,330 --> 00:12:15,260 You know the rules. 311 00:12:15,260 --> 00:12:16,460 If you're not in your seat 312 00:12:16,470 --> 00:12:18,430 when the bell rings, it's detention. 313 00:12:20,500 --> 00:12:22,000 - What a shame. 314 00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:25,110 Poor Kelly will be sitting all alone after school. 315 00:12:25,110 --> 00:12:26,470 Unless of course someone can get 316 00:12:26,480 --> 00:12:28,780 in detention to keep her company. 317 00:12:28,780 --> 00:12:31,350 (bell ringing) 318 00:12:35,280 --> 00:12:38,120 - We will begin as soon as the bell rings. 319 00:12:38,120 --> 00:12:41,120 (audience laughing) 320 00:12:44,530 --> 00:12:46,090 It's the first day. 321 00:12:46,100 --> 00:12:48,200 They must have forgotten the bell. 322 00:12:50,030 --> 00:12:51,400 We'll start anyway. 323 00:12:54,140 --> 00:12:57,440 Now, to be or not to be? 324 00:12:57,440 --> 00:12:59,110 That is the question. 325 00:12:59,110 --> 00:12:59,970 Who said that? 326 00:12:59,980 --> 00:13:01,080 - You just did, ma'am. 327 00:13:02,540 --> 00:13:04,810 - Right, it was Hamlet. 328 00:13:04,810 --> 00:13:09,180 But, who was the author of Hamlet, anyone? 329 00:13:09,190 --> 00:13:10,320 - William Shakespeare. 330 00:13:12,390 --> 00:13:13,450 - No one knows? 331 00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:16,060 (audience laughing) 332 00:13:16,060 --> 00:13:17,690 Then I'll have to tell you. 333 00:13:17,690 --> 00:13:20,260 William Shakespeare. 334 00:13:20,260 --> 00:13:21,360 - No kidding. 335 00:13:22,430 --> 00:13:25,230 - No, no, not Kipling, Shakespeare. 336 00:13:25,230 --> 00:13:26,870 (audience laughing) 337 00:13:26,870 --> 00:13:28,100 - Zack, you'll get in trouble. 338 00:13:28,100 --> 00:13:30,000 - I'm trying, I'm trying. 339 00:13:30,010 --> 00:13:32,410 - Excuse me, you there. 340 00:13:32,410 --> 00:13:33,210 - Yes? 341 00:13:33,210 --> 00:13:34,470 - No, no, not you. 342 00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:36,410 The girl behind you. 343 00:13:36,410 --> 00:13:38,110 Any more whispering and I 344 00:13:38,110 --> 00:13:40,780 shall have to send you to detention. 345 00:13:40,780 --> 00:13:41,880 - Me? - Her? 346 00:13:41,880 --> 00:13:42,720 - What? 347 00:13:42,720 --> 00:13:45,620 (audience laughing) 348 00:13:45,620 --> 00:13:49,860 Now, this term we are going to cover Macbeth, The Merchant 349 00:13:49,860 --> 00:13:54,860 of Venice, Romeo and Juliet and, of course, Macbeth. 350 00:13:55,630 --> 00:13:58,070 (audience laughing) 351 00:13:58,070 --> 00:14:00,330 Which shall we choose to start with? 352 00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:02,240 - How about McMuffin and McNugget? 353 00:14:02,240 --> 00:14:03,900 (audience laughing) 354 00:14:03,910 --> 00:14:05,670 - Both good choices. 355 00:14:07,910 --> 00:14:12,910 Now, does anyone know how Romeo died? 356 00:14:12,920 --> 00:14:14,720 - Yes, he took your class. 357 00:14:14,720 --> 00:14:16,920 (audience laughing) 358 00:14:16,920 --> 00:14:19,990 - Right, poison in a glass. 359 00:14:21,290 --> 00:14:22,120 - What? 360 00:14:23,760 --> 00:14:26,860 - Young man, you have just dropped 361 00:14:26,860 --> 00:14:30,030 the works of Shakespeare on the floor. 362 00:14:30,030 --> 00:14:34,740 That lack of respect will not be tolerated in my class. 363 00:14:34,740 --> 00:14:37,170 Get thee to Belding. 364 00:14:37,170 --> 00:14:39,440 (audience laughing) 365 00:14:39,440 --> 00:14:41,340 - Yes, Miss Simpson, I goeth. 366 00:14:46,050 --> 00:14:47,450 - I don't like that boy. 367 00:14:47,450 --> 00:14:50,020 (upbeat music) 368 00:14:53,260 --> 00:14:56,160 - Principal's office, it's been like a second home to me. 369 00:14:57,690 --> 00:14:58,760 Look around. 370 00:14:58,760 --> 00:15:00,190 Everything's in perfect order. 371 00:15:01,730 --> 00:15:04,060 Mr. Belding's a real neat freak. 372 00:15:04,070 --> 00:15:05,070 Watch this. 373 00:15:13,580 --> 00:15:14,740 - Well, it's the first day 374 00:15:14,740 --> 00:15:16,140 of school and you're in detention. 375 00:15:16,150 --> 00:15:17,480 What is it this time, Morris? 376 00:15:17,480 --> 00:15:19,350 Aliens take over your body again? 377 00:15:19,350 --> 00:15:20,280 - No, sir. 378 00:15:20,280 --> 00:15:21,580 They flew home for the holidays. 379 00:15:21,580 --> 00:15:23,820 (audience laughing) 380 00:15:23,820 --> 00:15:24,990 - You moved that, didn't you? 381 00:15:24,990 --> 00:15:26,920 - I'm sorry, sir. 382 00:15:26,920 --> 00:15:28,560 - Please don't touch my things. 383 00:15:28,560 --> 00:15:30,020 - I guess I couldn't help myself. 384 00:15:30,030 --> 00:15:31,460 - Well, that's not good enough, Morris. 385 00:15:31,460 --> 00:15:34,590 You have a complete lack of self control. 386 00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:36,300 - I can't fool you, sir. 387 00:15:36,300 --> 00:15:38,630 - Question is, what are we gonna do about it? 388 00:15:38,630 --> 00:15:40,430 - Guess I'm looking at detention. 389 00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:42,070 - Guess again. 390 00:15:42,070 --> 00:15:44,500 Taking a different approach with you, Zack. 391 00:15:46,010 --> 00:15:47,470 - Gonna be Mr. Rogers? 392 00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:49,810 (audience laughing) 393 00:15:49,810 --> 00:15:51,280 - You're in the neighborhood. 394 00:15:53,080 --> 00:15:53,880 Have a seat. 395 00:15:55,420 --> 00:15:57,280 This year, besides being your principal, 396 00:15:57,290 --> 00:15:59,820 I'm also going to try to give the students guidance. 397 00:15:59,820 --> 00:16:02,920 And you are the first lad I'm going to guide. 398 00:16:02,930 --> 00:16:05,960 I wanna help you, understand you. 399 00:16:05,960 --> 00:16:07,360 - What's to understand? 400 00:16:07,360 --> 00:16:09,500 I'm bad, a rotten kid. 401 00:16:09,500 --> 00:16:13,630 - (mumbling) Zack, there are no bad boys. 402 00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:15,740 There are only boys that haven't been reached. 403 00:16:15,740 --> 00:16:17,200 - Mr. Belding, you gotta send 404 00:16:17,210 --> 00:16:19,270 the right message to the student body. 405 00:16:19,280 --> 00:16:20,870 I deserve detention. 406 00:16:22,380 --> 00:16:25,650 - You may not realize this, but deep down, 407 00:16:25,650 --> 00:16:27,450 might you be seeking detention? 408 00:16:27,450 --> 00:16:28,420 (audience laughing) 409 00:16:28,420 --> 00:16:30,520 - Uh, what makes you think that? 410 00:16:31,690 --> 00:16:33,390 - I don't question the gift, I just go with it. 411 00:16:33,390 --> 00:16:35,360 (audience laughing) 412 00:16:35,360 --> 00:16:37,890 - Sir, look, I really need detention. 413 00:16:37,890 --> 00:16:39,390 - I'll determine what you need. 414 00:16:39,400 --> 00:16:41,530 (pen tapping) 415 00:16:41,530 --> 00:16:43,130 Would you please put that back? 416 00:16:44,170 --> 00:16:46,030 - Oh, you mean this bothers you? 417 00:16:46,040 --> 00:16:47,630 - Yes, it does. 418 00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:49,470 (audience laughing) 419 00:16:49,470 --> 00:16:51,740 - Then I'll put it back right now. 420 00:16:51,740 --> 00:16:53,670 Oh, I'm sorry. 421 00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:56,240 - Please, please, I'll put those back. 422 00:16:56,250 --> 00:16:57,410 I know where they go. 423 00:16:57,410 --> 00:17:00,280 (audience laughing) 424 00:17:02,490 --> 00:17:04,650 You know, Zack, this summer I attended a 425 00:17:04,650 --> 00:17:07,790 seminar on how to handle the problem child. 426 00:17:07,790 --> 00:17:11,330 Above all, you must have patience. 427 00:17:11,330 --> 00:17:13,290 Don't touch my principal of the month trophy. 428 00:17:13,300 --> 00:17:14,760 (audience laughing) 429 00:17:14,760 --> 00:17:15,600 - Oh, you mean this? 430 00:17:15,600 --> 00:17:16,500 - Yes, that. 431 00:17:17,830 --> 00:17:19,000 Where was I? 432 00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:20,670 - Uh, you were talking about having 433 00:17:20,670 --> 00:17:22,740 patience with a problem child. 434 00:17:22,740 --> 00:17:24,200 - Right, right. 435 00:17:24,210 --> 00:17:28,010 Zack, we must try and understand each other's position. 436 00:17:28,010 --> 00:17:30,780 What they say is that you kids have a need 437 00:17:30,780 --> 00:17:32,610 and we have to figure out exactly, 438 00:17:32,610 --> 00:17:34,150 put Mrs. Belding down! 439 00:17:34,150 --> 00:17:37,220 (audience laughing) 440 00:17:37,220 --> 00:17:40,150 I am positive that together, we can work out. 441 00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:42,790 (trophy clatters) 442 00:17:42,790 --> 00:17:44,790 Look what you've done. 443 00:17:44,790 --> 00:17:47,790 Okay, mister, you've pushed me too far. 444 00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:50,260 I hope you'll be very happy in detention. 445 00:17:50,270 --> 00:17:52,130 - I'll try to make the best of it, sir. 446 00:17:52,130 --> 00:17:53,270 (audience laughing) 447 00:17:53,270 --> 00:17:55,870 (upbeat music) 448 00:17:59,840 --> 00:18:01,640 Detention, just Kelly and me. 449 00:18:02,780 --> 00:18:03,810 A dream come true. 450 00:18:05,380 --> 00:18:08,120 (ethereal music) 451 00:18:13,320 --> 00:18:14,720 - Hello, Zack. 452 00:18:14,720 --> 00:18:16,190 I've been waiting for you. 453 00:18:16,190 --> 00:18:19,190 (audience laughing) 454 00:18:28,840 --> 00:18:30,340 It was so clever of you to arrange 455 00:18:30,340 --> 00:18:32,970 for us to be in detention together. 456 00:18:32,980 --> 00:18:34,210 - I hope I pleased you. 457 00:18:36,610 --> 00:18:38,150 - What does that tell you? 458 00:18:39,280 --> 00:18:40,650 (audience laughing) 459 00:18:40,650 --> 00:18:41,480 - Oh, boy. 460 00:18:42,620 --> 00:18:44,820 - Please, make yourself comfortable. 461 00:18:44,820 --> 00:18:46,450 - Oh, no, after you. 462 00:18:46,460 --> 00:18:50,390 - No, no, you must be tired from all that scheming. 463 00:18:50,390 --> 00:18:51,460 Rest, my love. 464 00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:54,790 - I was cunning, wasn't I? 465 00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:56,100 (audience laughing) 466 00:18:56,100 --> 00:18:58,770 - Yes, your mind turns me on. 467 00:18:59,700 --> 00:19:00,570 I love you, master. 468 00:19:06,140 --> 00:19:08,310 - Why keep my love waiting any longer? 469 00:19:08,310 --> 00:19:11,310 (audience laughing) 470 00:19:17,320 --> 00:19:18,850 What are you doing here? 471 00:19:18,850 --> 00:19:22,390 - I liked your act so much I decided to pull one of my own. 472 00:19:22,390 --> 00:19:23,620 - What'd you do? 473 00:19:23,630 --> 00:19:26,090 - You know Mr. Warren, the science teacher? 474 00:19:26,090 --> 00:19:26,960 I mooned him. 475 00:19:26,960 --> 00:19:29,660 (audience laughing) 476 00:19:29,670 --> 00:19:30,860 - No kidding? 477 00:19:30,870 --> 00:19:32,470 I'm impressed. 478 00:19:32,470 --> 00:19:35,570 - Doesn't matter, we're both a couple of jerks. 479 00:19:35,570 --> 00:19:36,970 - What do you mean? 480 00:19:36,970 --> 00:19:38,140 - Kelly's not coming. 481 00:19:40,740 --> 00:19:41,980 Belding found out she saved 482 00:19:41,980 --> 00:19:43,680 Screech's life and he excused her. 483 00:19:44,910 --> 00:19:47,550 - So after all this it's you and me? 484 00:19:47,550 --> 00:19:49,220 (audience laughing) 485 00:19:49,220 --> 00:19:50,380 - Ain't love grand? 486 00:19:52,490 --> 00:19:53,720 - None of this would have happened 487 00:19:53,720 --> 00:19:55,360 if you hadn't tried to move in on my girl. 488 00:19:55,360 --> 00:19:56,620 - Your girl? 489 00:19:56,630 --> 00:19:58,790 I didn't see a sign on her saying Zack's chick. 490 00:19:58,790 --> 00:20:01,760 - Look Slater, I've waited for Kelly for two years. 491 00:20:01,760 --> 00:20:03,730 I've lived through her last six boyfriends. 492 00:20:03,730 --> 00:20:05,400 Think of the man hours I put in. 493 00:20:05,400 --> 00:20:07,330 - (scoffs) Wimp hours is more like it. 494 00:20:07,340 --> 00:20:08,400 (audience laughing) 495 00:20:08,400 --> 00:20:09,900 - You calling me names? 496 00:20:09,910 --> 00:20:12,640 You're the one who's been in 14 schools in three years. 497 00:20:12,640 --> 00:20:14,580 What are you, some sort of delinquent? 498 00:20:14,580 --> 00:20:18,910 - Hey, look preppy, my father's in the Army, okay? 499 00:20:18,910 --> 00:20:20,880 While he's trying to be all he can be 500 00:20:20,880 --> 00:20:22,520 I get shipped along with his boots. 501 00:20:22,520 --> 00:20:24,920 You got a problem with that? - What if I do? 502 00:20:24,920 --> 00:20:27,120 - Pushing, shoving, menacing and rough housing of 503 00:20:27,120 --> 00:20:31,390 any kind are prohibited on school grounds and or building. 504 00:20:31,390 --> 00:20:32,930 That's what your homes are for. 505 00:20:32,930 --> 00:20:34,460 (audience laughing) 506 00:20:34,460 --> 00:20:35,930 - Aw, we weren't arguing. 507 00:20:35,930 --> 00:20:38,400 - Yeah, we were just discussing a math problem. 508 00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:40,700 How two into one won't go. 509 00:20:40,700 --> 00:20:43,000 - I don't believe it and I don't care. 510 00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:44,400 I'm tired, I have a toothache, 511 00:20:44,410 --> 00:20:46,170 and I have to go home and pump iron. 512 00:20:46,170 --> 00:20:49,140 (audience laughing) 513 00:20:50,480 --> 00:20:52,850 - Hey, is your dad really in the Army? 514 00:20:52,850 --> 00:20:54,080 - If he's not, this is a really 515 00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:55,680 dirty trick he's been playing on us. 516 00:20:55,680 --> 00:20:57,150 (audience laughing) 517 00:20:57,150 --> 00:20:59,650 - What's it like going from school to school? 518 00:20:59,660 --> 00:21:00,620 - It's not so bad. 519 00:21:02,190 --> 00:21:03,620 - You know, Slater, if you and I 520 00:21:03,630 --> 00:21:05,230 joined forces we could own this school. 521 00:21:05,230 --> 00:21:07,330 - Sorry, kid, I work alone. 522 00:21:07,330 --> 00:21:09,530 - Who's asking? - You were. 523 00:21:10,730 --> 00:21:12,830 I scare you, don't I, Morris? 524 00:21:12,830 --> 00:21:15,000 This was your turf until I showed up. 525 00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:17,240 - It was, it is, and it always will be. 526 00:21:17,240 --> 00:21:19,640 - You wanna make a friendly bet on that? 527 00:21:19,640 --> 00:21:21,280 - Count on it, buddy. 528 00:21:22,210 --> 00:21:24,110 (audience laughing) 529 00:21:24,110 --> 00:21:26,680 (upbeat music) 530 00:21:30,750 --> 00:21:33,920 All right, maybe the first day didn't turn out as I planned. 531 00:21:33,920 --> 00:21:36,160 But hey, I'm just warming up. 532 00:21:36,160 --> 00:21:37,560 I love school. 533 00:21:37,560 --> 00:21:39,230 Too bad classes get in the way. 534 00:21:39,230 --> 00:21:42,230 (audience laughing) 535 00:21:44,200 --> 00:21:46,830 (upbeat music) 36702

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