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1
00:00:01,060 --> 00:00:03,000
(alarm ringing)
2
00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:04,430
♪ When I wake up
in the morning ♪
3
00:00:04,430 --> 00:00:05,830
♪ And the alarm
gives out a warning ♪
4
00:00:05,840 --> 00:00:08,840
♪ I don't think I'll
ever make it on time ♪
5
00:00:08,840 --> 00:00:11,710
♪ By the time I grab my books
and I give myself a look ♪
6
00:00:11,710 --> 00:00:15,280
♪ I'm at the corner just in
time to see the bus fly by ♪
7
00:00:15,280 --> 00:00:20,280
♪ It's all right 'cause
I'm saved by the bell ♪
8
00:00:21,680 --> 00:00:24,090
♪ If the teacher pops a
test I know I'm in a mess ♪
9
00:00:24,090 --> 00:00:27,020
♪ And my dog ate all my
homework last night ♪
10
00:00:27,020 --> 00:00:30,030
♪ Riding' low in my chair, she
won't know that I'm there ♪
11
00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:33,530
♪ If I can hand it in
tomorrow it'll be all right ♪
12
00:00:33,530 --> 00:00:38,500
♪ It's all right, 'cause
I'm saved by the bell ♪
13
00:00:52,080 --> 00:00:54,950
♪ It's all right, 'cause
I'm saved by the ♪
14
00:00:54,950 --> 00:00:57,950
♪ It's all right, 'cause
I'm saved by the ♪
15
00:00:57,950 --> 00:01:02,790
♪ It's all right, 'cause
I'm saved by the bell ♪
16
00:01:05,600 --> 00:01:08,200
(upbeat music)
17
00:01:13,940 --> 00:01:16,570
- [Zack] I'll never forget
the day Slater showed up.
18
00:01:16,570 --> 00:01:19,240
(phone ringing)
19
00:01:23,710 --> 00:01:25,450
- [Cindy] Good morning, Zack.
20
00:01:25,450 --> 00:01:28,180
This is Cindy, your
wake-up caller.
21
00:01:28,190 --> 00:01:30,120
It's seven o'clock, tiger.
22
00:01:30,120 --> 00:01:31,390
Time to roar.
23
00:01:31,390 --> 00:01:34,960
(audience laughing)
24
00:01:34,960 --> 00:01:36,720
- It's the first day of school
25
00:01:36,730 --> 00:01:38,460
and I can't wait to get there.
26
00:01:38,460 --> 00:01:39,290
Why?
27
00:01:42,200 --> 00:01:45,570
(audience laughing)
28
00:01:45,570 --> 00:01:47,240
Kelly Kapowski.
29
00:01:47,240 --> 00:01:51,270
Loves volleyball,
windsurfing, and soon, me.
30
00:01:51,270 --> 00:01:53,070
This is the year
that I make my move.
31
00:01:56,010 --> 00:01:57,210
Do you mind?
32
00:01:57,210 --> 00:01:59,080
Mingle among yourselves.
33
00:01:59,080 --> 00:02:01,920
(audience laughing)
34
00:02:03,420 --> 00:02:04,890
How do I look?
35
00:02:04,890 --> 00:02:07,490
(upbeat music)
36
00:02:17,600 --> 00:02:20,140
- I'm so jazzed, I got
all the best teachers.
37
00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:22,400
- The best teachers are
the ones who call in sick.
38
00:02:22,410 --> 00:02:24,170
(audience laughing)
39
00:02:24,170 --> 00:02:26,210
- How's your schedule?
- Well, it's the worst.
40
00:02:26,210 --> 00:02:28,480
I only have one lunch period.
41
00:02:28,480 --> 00:02:31,110
- Zack, this may come
as a shock to you,
42
00:02:31,110 --> 00:02:34,650
but eduction is more than just
French fries and tuna melts.
43
00:02:34,650 --> 00:02:35,650
- That's right, Jessie.
44
00:02:35,650 --> 00:02:36,750
You forgot cheeseburgers.
45
00:02:36,750 --> 00:02:38,120
(audience laughing)
46
00:02:38,120 --> 00:02:39,550
- [Mr. Belding]
Welcome back, Tracy.
47
00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:42,520
- Hi, Mr. Belding.
- Great to see you, Jessie.
48
00:02:42,530 --> 00:02:46,330
Morris, the thorn in my paw.
49
00:02:46,330 --> 00:02:49,130
- Mr. Belding, sir,
you look great.
50
00:02:49,130 --> 00:02:50,530
- Oh, really?
51
00:02:50,530 --> 00:02:52,600
- You've lost at
least 10 pounds.
52
00:02:52,600 --> 00:02:53,930
Must have been working out.
53
00:02:55,370 --> 00:02:57,540
- Well, Mrs. B and I did take
up synchronized swimming.
54
00:02:58,910 --> 00:03:00,070
You haven't seen Dirty Dancing
55
00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:01,480
'til you've seen us
underwater (laughing).
56
00:03:01,480 --> 00:03:04,210
(audience laughing)
57
00:03:04,210 --> 00:03:05,180
- Can't wait, sir.
58
00:03:06,380 --> 00:03:08,380
And you'll probably be a
better principal for it.
59
00:03:08,390 --> 00:03:09,580
- Well, thank you Zack.
60
00:03:09,590 --> 00:03:10,920
And may I add that you have not
61
00:03:10,920 --> 00:03:12,620
lost your ability to suck up.
62
00:03:12,620 --> 00:03:13,450
(audience laughing)
63
00:03:13,460 --> 00:03:14,860
- Thank you, sir.
64
00:03:17,190 --> 00:03:18,490
- This is a disaster.
65
00:03:18,500 --> 00:03:20,600
My entire year has
just been ruined.
66
00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:23,030
- What, did Revlon discontinue
your lipstick, Lisa?
67
00:03:23,030 --> 00:03:24,000
(audience laughing)
68
00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:25,470
- That's not funny, Zack.
69
00:03:25,470 --> 00:03:28,370
They gave me a locker
surrounded by nerds.
70
00:03:28,370 --> 00:03:30,000
(audience laughing)
71
00:03:30,010 --> 00:03:31,970
Zack, you've gotta
get me another locker.
72
00:03:31,970 --> 00:03:33,440
I'll owe you a big one.
73
00:03:34,680 --> 00:03:35,940
- Define big.
74
00:03:35,950 --> 00:03:37,180
(audience laughing)
75
00:03:37,180 --> 00:03:38,450
- I'll do your Spanish
homework for a week.
76
00:03:38,450 --> 00:03:39,380
- You're on.
77
00:03:39,380 --> 00:03:40,110
I'll see what I can do, okay?
78
00:03:40,120 --> 00:03:40,950
- Thanks, Zack.
79
00:03:42,750 --> 00:03:45,490
- Lockers, the key to my plan.
80
00:03:45,490 --> 00:03:47,420
Kelly was assigned this locker,
81
00:03:47,420 --> 00:03:49,860
which means the one next
to it will soon be mine.
82
00:03:51,460 --> 00:03:52,290
Hi, you're new here.
83
00:03:52,300 --> 00:03:53,700
I'm Zack Morris.
84
00:03:53,700 --> 00:03:54,560
- And I'm Roger Rabbit.
85
00:03:54,560 --> 00:03:55,460
So what?
86
00:03:55,470 --> 00:03:56,900
(audience laughing)
87
00:03:56,900 --> 00:03:58,530
- Come on, what's your name?
88
00:03:58,540 --> 00:04:00,030
- Slater.
89
00:04:00,040 --> 00:04:02,440
- Well, Slater, too bad you
got stuck with a bum locker.
90
00:04:02,440 --> 00:04:03,670
Hey, why don't you take mine?
91
00:04:03,670 --> 00:04:05,070
It's right next to
the girl's bathroom.
92
00:04:05,070 --> 00:04:07,170
- Unless it's in the
girl's bathroom, forget it.
93
00:04:07,180 --> 00:04:08,710
(audience laughing)
94
00:04:08,710 --> 00:04:11,210
- You don't understand, I'm
letting you have my locker.
95
00:04:11,210 --> 00:04:12,050
- Hi, Zack.
96
00:04:14,150 --> 00:04:14,980
- No thanks.
97
00:04:14,980 --> 00:04:17,250
(audience laughing)
98
00:04:17,250 --> 00:04:18,090
- I'm Kelly.
99
00:04:18,090 --> 00:04:19,020
Who are you?
100
00:04:19,020 --> 00:04:20,390
- Whoever you want me to be.
101
00:04:20,390 --> 00:04:21,660
(audience laughing)
102
00:04:21,660 --> 00:04:22,490
- He's funny.
103
00:04:22,490 --> 00:04:23,320
See you guys later.
104
00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:26,730
- Does she always
smell that good?
105
00:04:26,730 --> 00:04:30,370
- Kelly Kapowski, you don't
want anything to do with her.
106
00:04:30,370 --> 00:04:31,570
- Why not?
107
00:04:31,570 --> 00:04:34,970
- She's, uh, she has leprosy.
108
00:04:34,970 --> 00:04:36,440
(audience laughing)
109
00:04:36,440 --> 00:04:38,610
- Hey, we all have
skin problems, right?
110
00:04:39,810 --> 00:04:41,010
- Okay, okay, look.
111
00:04:42,210 --> 00:04:44,380
You give me your locker,
and I'll give you
112
00:04:44,380 --> 00:04:47,950
a genuine hall pass with
the principal's signature.
113
00:04:47,950 --> 00:04:49,620
- That ain't
Belding's signature.
114
00:04:51,350 --> 00:04:53,550
This is Belding's signature.
115
00:04:53,560 --> 00:04:55,960
(audience laughing)
116
00:04:55,960 --> 00:04:57,760
- This is Belding's signature.
117
00:04:57,760 --> 00:04:59,260
How'd you get this?
118
00:04:59,260 --> 00:05:02,860
- Look kid, I've been in 14
schools in the last three years.
119
00:05:02,870 --> 00:05:04,830
I've got hall passes
in five languages.
120
00:05:04,830 --> 00:05:06,630
- Awesome.
- Bonjour, pal.
121
00:05:08,340 --> 00:05:09,640
- I don't like him already.
122
00:05:09,640 --> 00:05:12,540
(audience laughing)
123
00:05:12,540 --> 00:05:15,080
Hey, there he is, my main man.
124
00:05:18,320 --> 00:05:19,980
I'm talking to you, Screech.
125
00:05:19,980 --> 00:05:22,350
- Oh, wow, thanks.
126
00:05:22,350 --> 00:05:23,880
- Hey, Screech buddy.
127
00:05:23,890 --> 00:05:25,750
If you could share your
locker with anybody
128
00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:28,320
in this whole school,
who would it be?
129
00:05:28,330 --> 00:05:29,590
- You Zack, of course.
130
00:05:29,590 --> 00:05:31,230
- Great, because I'm moving in.
131
00:05:32,090 --> 00:05:34,960
- Wow, you and me, roommates.
132
00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:37,430
Thanks for letting
me share my locker.
133
00:05:37,430 --> 00:05:39,030
- Hey, we're buddies, aren't we?
134
00:05:41,370 --> 00:05:45,240
Say, buddy, do you mind putting
your books on the bottom?
135
00:05:45,240 --> 00:05:47,170
There's some kind
of jelly down there.
136
00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:48,540
- Well, we can't have that.
137
00:05:50,410 --> 00:05:52,480
Let me tidy up our place.
138
00:05:52,480 --> 00:05:55,250
(audience laughing)
139
00:05:55,250 --> 00:05:57,850
(vacuum whirring)
140
00:05:57,850 --> 00:06:00,320
(upbeat music)
141
00:06:05,700 --> 00:06:07,400
- After your locker,
the most important
142
00:06:07,400 --> 00:06:09,230
thing is where you sit in class.
143
00:06:09,230 --> 00:06:12,100
That's why I've got
to sit next to Kelly.
144
00:06:12,100 --> 00:06:14,800
Lucky for me, Jessie
is sitting there now.
145
00:06:14,800 --> 00:06:16,640
We're like brother and sister.
146
00:06:16,640 --> 00:06:17,710
- No way, Zack.
147
00:06:17,710 --> 00:06:19,310
- Jessie, you're my best friend.
148
00:06:19,310 --> 00:06:20,540
How can you turn me down?
149
00:06:20,540 --> 00:06:22,080
- Because I don't want
to sit in the back.
150
00:06:22,080 --> 00:06:23,510
I want to learn.
151
00:06:23,510 --> 00:06:24,650
- Well, so do I.
152
00:06:24,650 --> 00:06:27,950
This year I wanna study, honest.
153
00:06:27,950 --> 00:06:30,520
- All you wanna study
is Kelly, honest.
154
00:06:31,550 --> 00:06:33,720
- Are you kidding, that bow wow?
155
00:06:33,720 --> 00:06:35,220
(audience laughing)
156
00:06:35,220 --> 00:06:37,560
- Come on, everyone knows
you've got the hots for her.
157
00:06:39,100 --> 00:06:40,930
- Well, they do
now, thanks to you.
158
00:06:40,930 --> 00:06:44,160
(audience laughing)
159
00:06:44,170 --> 00:06:45,870
Look, can I have
your seat or not?
160
00:06:45,870 --> 00:06:48,370
- Sorry, find yourself
another pigeon.
161
00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:51,570
- Oh, Lisa.
162
00:06:51,570 --> 00:06:53,410
(audience laughing)
163
00:06:53,410 --> 00:06:55,140
Can I talk to you for a second?
164
00:06:55,140 --> 00:06:55,980
- Sure.
165
00:06:58,780 --> 00:07:00,180
- I got you a new locker.
166
00:07:00,180 --> 00:07:01,450
- Zack, you're incredible.
167
00:07:01,450 --> 00:07:02,280
Where is it?
168
00:07:02,290 --> 00:07:03,520
- It's 118.
169
00:07:03,520 --> 00:07:05,750
- 118, right by
the boys bathroom
170
00:07:05,760 --> 00:07:08,260
where every guy will walk
by me at least once a day?
171
00:07:08,260 --> 00:07:09,920
- Sometimes twice.
172
00:07:09,930 --> 00:07:11,360
- I owe you one, Zack.
173
00:07:11,360 --> 00:07:12,960
I'll do your Spanish
homework for three weeks.
174
00:07:12,960 --> 00:07:14,190
- Tell you what.
175
00:07:14,200 --> 00:07:16,300
You give me your desk
and we'll call it even.
176
00:07:16,300 --> 00:07:17,930
- It's yours.
- Thanks, Lisa.
177
00:07:18,900 --> 00:07:22,670
(audience laughing)
178
00:07:22,670 --> 00:07:24,240
- Hi, Zack.
- Hi, Kelly.
179
00:07:24,240 --> 00:07:25,640
Lisa asked me to
switch, so I guess
180
00:07:25,640 --> 00:07:27,410
we'll be sitting
next to each other.
181
00:07:30,810 --> 00:07:31,950
I saved you a seat.
182
00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:34,780
- I'm touched.
183
00:07:34,780 --> 00:07:37,790
(audience laughing)
184
00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:47,760
- Okay, people, settle down.
185
00:07:49,100 --> 00:07:50,200
I'm Mr. Dewey.
186
00:07:50,200 --> 00:07:51,670
How was everyone's summer?
187
00:07:51,670 --> 00:07:52,630
Mine stunk.
188
00:07:52,640 --> 00:07:53,730
Let's get started.
189
00:07:53,740 --> 00:07:56,440
(audience laughing)
190
00:07:56,440 --> 00:07:58,910
We're about to embark on
an exhilarating journey
191
00:07:58,910 --> 00:08:01,380
into the exciting
world of algebra.
192
00:08:01,380 --> 00:08:03,950
(audience laughing)
193
00:08:03,950 --> 00:08:06,250
I'll wait 'til your
hearts stop pounding.
194
00:08:09,150 --> 00:08:10,890
Yes, you there in the back?
195
00:08:10,890 --> 00:08:12,220
- Mr. Dewey, sir.
196
00:08:13,660 --> 00:08:15,260
This is a little embarrassing.
197
00:08:15,260 --> 00:08:16,920
See, I'm legally
blind in one eye
198
00:08:16,930 --> 00:08:19,060
and I really gotta sit up close.
199
00:08:19,060 --> 00:08:20,530
- Well, by all means, young man.
200
00:08:20,530 --> 00:08:22,460
I can relate to that.
201
00:08:22,470 --> 00:08:24,130
That's why I'm up here.
202
00:08:24,130 --> 00:08:26,800
(audience laughing)
203
00:08:26,800 --> 00:08:28,200
Any volunteers?
204
00:08:28,200 --> 00:08:29,340
- Sure, he can have mine.
205
00:08:29,340 --> 00:08:30,370
- No, not you.
206
00:08:30,370 --> 00:08:32,910
I mean, that's not necessary.
207
00:08:32,910 --> 00:08:35,710
- I take it then that
you're volunteering?
208
00:08:35,710 --> 00:08:36,540
- Me?
209
00:08:37,750 --> 00:08:39,710
- First he offers me his
locker and now his seat.
210
00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:41,750
I'm telling you, he's a
regular brother Theresa.
211
00:08:41,750 --> 00:08:44,750
(audience laughing)
212
00:08:50,490 --> 00:08:51,760
- Great, Zack.
213
00:08:51,760 --> 00:08:54,190
You and me sitting
together all year.
214
00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:57,200
(audience laughing)
215
00:08:58,070 --> 00:08:59,330
Oh, and about sharing lockers,
216
00:08:59,340 --> 00:09:01,300
I can't for health reasons.
217
00:09:01,300 --> 00:09:03,370
- What do you mean
health reasons?
218
00:09:03,370 --> 00:09:04,740
- Slater said he'd kill me.
219
00:09:06,680 --> 00:09:09,240
(upbeat music)
220
00:09:12,380 --> 00:09:14,720
- I'm starved.
- For food or Kelly?
221
00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:15,550
- Both.
222
00:09:16,750 --> 00:09:18,490
- This sure beats eating
in the school cafeteria.
223
00:09:18,490 --> 00:09:21,460
- Yeah, it's nice to
see a hamburger you
don't have to comb.
224
00:09:21,460 --> 00:09:22,760
(audience laughing)
225
00:09:22,760 --> 00:09:25,390
- Okay, lunch is here.
226
00:09:25,390 --> 00:09:30,360
Burgers, fries, and
perhaps a surprise.
227
00:09:30,370 --> 00:09:31,770
- Max, how'd you do that?
228
00:09:31,770 --> 00:09:33,970
- Easy, my rabbit
handed them to me.
229
00:09:33,970 --> 00:09:35,040
Boing.
230
00:09:35,040 --> 00:09:38,040
(audience laughing)
231
00:09:41,110 --> 00:09:43,210
- I see your future squeeze.
232
00:09:43,210 --> 00:09:44,680
Have you asked her out yet?
233
00:09:44,680 --> 00:09:46,210
- Well, technically not yet.
234
00:09:46,220 --> 00:09:48,580
But in my mind, we
already have children.
235
00:09:48,590 --> 00:09:51,320
(audience laughing)
236
00:09:51,320 --> 00:09:54,060
- Would you take this
Coke over to Kelly?
237
00:09:54,060 --> 00:09:55,960
I'm a little short handed.
238
00:09:55,960 --> 00:09:57,360
(audience laughing)
239
00:09:57,360 --> 00:09:58,630
- Sure.
- Thanks.
240
00:10:01,930 --> 00:10:03,560
- Hi.
- Hi, Zack.
241
00:10:03,570 --> 00:10:05,670
- Max asked me to
bring your Coke.
242
00:10:05,670 --> 00:10:07,300
- Thanks, but I
didn't order one.
243
00:10:09,170 --> 00:10:12,170
(audience laughing)
244
00:10:13,480 --> 00:10:14,810
- Kelly, can I
ask you something?
245
00:10:14,810 --> 00:10:16,310
- Sure, go ahead.
246
00:10:16,310 --> 00:10:20,510
- Well, uh, how was your summer?
247
00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:21,950
- Oh, it was great.
248
00:10:21,950 --> 00:10:23,850
My parents sent me to
volleyball camp in Florida.
249
00:10:23,850 --> 00:10:25,950
We played on the
beach every day.
250
00:10:25,960 --> 00:10:27,420
- Must have been hot.
251
00:10:27,420 --> 00:10:28,690
- Well, it wasn't the
heat, it was the humidity.
252
00:10:28,690 --> 00:10:29,860
You wouldn't believe how your
253
00:10:29,860 --> 00:10:31,460
T-shirt clings
right to your body.
254
00:10:31,460 --> 00:10:32,790
(audience laughing)
255
00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:35,460
- Clings, body.
256
00:10:35,460 --> 00:10:36,900
Do you mind if I have
some of that Coke?
257
00:10:36,900 --> 00:10:38,330
- Well, sure, go ahead.
258
00:10:38,330 --> 00:10:41,040
Now, what was it you
wanted to ask me?
259
00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:42,940
- Do you think you
might like to--
260
00:10:42,940 --> 00:10:44,400
- So, what's happening?
261
00:10:44,410 --> 00:10:45,470
Any of you guys
want an onion ring?
262
00:10:45,470 --> 00:10:46,540
- Well, sure.
263
00:10:46,540 --> 00:10:49,840
(audience laughing)
264
00:10:49,850 --> 00:10:50,810
- I think we're engaged.
265
00:10:50,810 --> 00:10:52,150
- Oh, I think I'm gonna cry.
266
00:10:53,880 --> 00:10:55,450
- That makes two of us.
267
00:10:55,450 --> 00:10:56,480
(audience laughing)
268
00:10:56,490 --> 00:10:59,050
(upbeat music)
269
00:11:01,320 --> 00:11:02,820
Hey.
270
00:11:02,830 --> 00:11:05,790
I'm not really a bad guy, so
please forgive me in advance.
271
00:11:05,800 --> 00:11:07,160
But what you're about to witness
272
00:11:07,160 --> 00:11:09,530
is the act of a
very desperate man.
273
00:11:09,530 --> 00:11:12,570
(bell ringing)
274
00:11:12,570 --> 00:11:13,700
(Screech coughing)
275
00:11:13,700 --> 00:11:16,100
- Screech, what's wrong?
276
00:11:16,110 --> 00:11:16,940
Are you all right?
277
00:11:16,940 --> 00:11:17,870
You don't sound so good.
278
00:11:17,870 --> 00:11:19,540
- Yeah, my cat made those noises
279
00:11:19,540 --> 00:11:21,340
before he coughed up a mouse.
280
00:11:21,340 --> 00:11:22,940
(audience laughing)
281
00:11:22,950 --> 00:11:25,580
- (coughing) Bone.
282
00:11:26,820 --> 00:11:28,980
- Oh, no, he swallowed a bone.
283
00:11:28,990 --> 00:11:30,050
Somebody quick, help.
284
00:11:30,050 --> 00:11:30,890
- Here, I can handle this.
285
00:11:30,890 --> 00:11:32,390
I was a lifeguard.
286
00:11:32,390 --> 00:11:33,890
- I knew that.
287
00:11:33,890 --> 00:11:35,220
- Screech, don't panic.
288
00:11:35,220 --> 00:11:36,760
I'm gonna put my arms
around you and try
289
00:11:36,760 --> 00:11:38,960
to force that bone out
of your throat, okay?
290
00:11:41,160 --> 00:11:42,330
How did that feel?
291
00:11:42,330 --> 00:11:43,800
- More, more.
292
00:11:43,800 --> 00:11:44,630
- Screech.
293
00:11:44,630 --> 00:11:45,830
(audience laughing)
294
00:11:45,840 --> 00:11:47,370
- Did I get it?
295
00:11:47,370 --> 00:11:48,740
- It was wonderful.
296
00:11:48,740 --> 00:11:49,800
Was it good for you?
297
00:11:49,810 --> 00:11:52,570
(audience laughing)
298
00:11:52,580 --> 00:11:53,410
- Oh, I got it.
299
00:11:53,410 --> 00:11:55,240
The bone flew out.
300
00:11:55,240 --> 00:11:57,310
- What'd you have
for lunch, coyote?
301
00:11:59,020 --> 00:12:00,510
- Hey, great work, Kelly.
302
00:12:00,520 --> 00:12:02,150
- Thanks, but now I'm
gonna be late for class.
303
00:12:02,150 --> 00:12:03,980
Mr. Minovitch is gonna kill me.
304
00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:08,020
- How did I do, Zack?
305
00:12:08,020 --> 00:12:09,690
- You did great, perfect.
306
00:12:09,690 --> 00:12:10,790
Now, go save me a
seat in study hall.
307
00:12:10,790 --> 00:12:12,330
I'll be right there, okay?
308
00:12:12,330 --> 00:12:13,530
Thanks, buddy.
309
00:12:13,530 --> 00:12:14,330
- Miss Kapowski, you've
been with me before.
310
00:12:14,330 --> 00:12:15,260
You know the rules.
311
00:12:15,260 --> 00:12:16,460
If you're not in your seat
312
00:12:16,470 --> 00:12:18,430
when the bell rings,
it's detention.
313
00:12:20,500 --> 00:12:22,000
- What a shame.
314
00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:25,110
Poor Kelly will be sitting
all alone after school.
315
00:12:25,110 --> 00:12:26,470
Unless of course someone can get
316
00:12:26,480 --> 00:12:28,780
in detention to
keep her company.
317
00:12:28,780 --> 00:12:31,350
(bell ringing)
318
00:12:35,280 --> 00:12:38,120
- We will begin as
soon as the bell rings.
319
00:12:38,120 --> 00:12:41,120
(audience laughing)
320
00:12:44,530 --> 00:12:46,090
It's the first day.
321
00:12:46,100 --> 00:12:48,200
They must have
forgotten the bell.
322
00:12:50,030 --> 00:12:51,400
We'll start anyway.
323
00:12:54,140 --> 00:12:57,440
Now, to be or not to be?
324
00:12:57,440 --> 00:12:59,110
That is the question.
325
00:12:59,110 --> 00:12:59,970
Who said that?
326
00:12:59,980 --> 00:13:01,080
- You just did, ma'am.
327
00:13:02,540 --> 00:13:04,810
- Right, it was Hamlet.
328
00:13:04,810 --> 00:13:09,180
But, who was the author
of Hamlet, anyone?
329
00:13:09,190 --> 00:13:10,320
- William Shakespeare.
330
00:13:12,390 --> 00:13:13,450
- No one knows?
331
00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:16,060
(audience laughing)
332
00:13:16,060 --> 00:13:17,690
Then I'll have to tell you.
333
00:13:17,690 --> 00:13:20,260
William Shakespeare.
334
00:13:20,260 --> 00:13:21,360
- No kidding.
335
00:13:22,430 --> 00:13:25,230
- No, no, not
Kipling, Shakespeare.
336
00:13:25,230 --> 00:13:26,870
(audience laughing)
337
00:13:26,870 --> 00:13:28,100
- Zack, you'll get in trouble.
338
00:13:28,100 --> 00:13:30,000
- I'm trying, I'm trying.
339
00:13:30,010 --> 00:13:32,410
- Excuse me, you there.
340
00:13:32,410 --> 00:13:33,210
- Yes?
341
00:13:33,210 --> 00:13:34,470
- No, no, not you.
342
00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:36,410
The girl behind you.
343
00:13:36,410 --> 00:13:38,110
Any more whispering and I
344
00:13:38,110 --> 00:13:40,780
shall have to send
you to detention.
345
00:13:40,780 --> 00:13:41,880
- Me?
- Her?
346
00:13:41,880 --> 00:13:42,720
- What?
347
00:13:42,720 --> 00:13:45,620
(audience laughing)
348
00:13:45,620 --> 00:13:49,860
Now, this term we are going
to cover Macbeth, The Merchant
349
00:13:49,860 --> 00:13:54,860
of Venice, Romeo and Juliet
and, of course, Macbeth.
350
00:13:55,630 --> 00:13:58,070
(audience laughing)
351
00:13:58,070 --> 00:14:00,330
Which shall we
choose to start with?
352
00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:02,240
- How about McMuffin
and McNugget?
353
00:14:02,240 --> 00:14:03,900
(audience laughing)
354
00:14:03,910 --> 00:14:05,670
- Both good choices.
355
00:14:07,910 --> 00:14:12,910
Now, does anyone
know how Romeo died?
356
00:14:12,920 --> 00:14:14,720
- Yes, he took your class.
357
00:14:14,720 --> 00:14:16,920
(audience laughing)
358
00:14:16,920 --> 00:14:19,990
- Right, poison in a glass.
359
00:14:21,290 --> 00:14:22,120
- What?
360
00:14:23,760 --> 00:14:26,860
- Young man, you
have just dropped
361
00:14:26,860 --> 00:14:30,030
the works of Shakespeare
on the floor.
362
00:14:30,030 --> 00:14:34,740
That lack of respect will
not be tolerated in my class.
363
00:14:34,740 --> 00:14:37,170
Get thee to Belding.
364
00:14:37,170 --> 00:14:39,440
(audience laughing)
365
00:14:39,440 --> 00:14:41,340
- Yes, Miss Simpson, I goeth.
366
00:14:46,050 --> 00:14:47,450
- I don't like that boy.
367
00:14:47,450 --> 00:14:50,020
(upbeat music)
368
00:14:53,260 --> 00:14:56,160
- Principal's office, it's
been like a second home to me.
369
00:14:57,690 --> 00:14:58,760
Look around.
370
00:14:58,760 --> 00:15:00,190
Everything's in perfect order.
371
00:15:01,730 --> 00:15:04,060
Mr. Belding's a real neat freak.
372
00:15:04,070 --> 00:15:05,070
Watch this.
373
00:15:13,580 --> 00:15:14,740
- Well, it's the first day
374
00:15:14,740 --> 00:15:16,140
of school and
you're in detention.
375
00:15:16,150 --> 00:15:17,480
What is it this time, Morris?
376
00:15:17,480 --> 00:15:19,350
Aliens take over
your body again?
377
00:15:19,350 --> 00:15:20,280
- No, sir.
378
00:15:20,280 --> 00:15:21,580
They flew home for the holidays.
379
00:15:21,580 --> 00:15:23,820
(audience laughing)
380
00:15:23,820 --> 00:15:24,990
- You moved that, didn't you?
381
00:15:24,990 --> 00:15:26,920
- I'm sorry, sir.
382
00:15:26,920 --> 00:15:28,560
- Please don't touch my things.
383
00:15:28,560 --> 00:15:30,020
- I guess I couldn't
help myself.
384
00:15:30,030 --> 00:15:31,460
- Well, that's not
good enough, Morris.
385
00:15:31,460 --> 00:15:34,590
You have a complete
lack of self control.
386
00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:36,300
- I can't fool you, sir.
387
00:15:36,300 --> 00:15:38,630
- Question is, what are
we gonna do about it?
388
00:15:38,630 --> 00:15:40,430
- Guess I'm looking
at detention.
389
00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:42,070
- Guess again.
390
00:15:42,070 --> 00:15:44,500
Taking a different
approach with you, Zack.
391
00:15:46,010 --> 00:15:47,470
- Gonna be Mr. Rogers?
392
00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:49,810
(audience laughing)
393
00:15:49,810 --> 00:15:51,280
- You're in the neighborhood.
394
00:15:53,080 --> 00:15:53,880
Have a seat.
395
00:15:55,420 --> 00:15:57,280
This year, besides
being your principal,
396
00:15:57,290 --> 00:15:59,820
I'm also going to try to
give the students guidance.
397
00:15:59,820 --> 00:16:02,920
And you are the first
lad I'm going to guide.
398
00:16:02,930 --> 00:16:05,960
I wanna help you,
understand you.
399
00:16:05,960 --> 00:16:07,360
- What's to understand?
400
00:16:07,360 --> 00:16:09,500
I'm bad, a rotten kid.
401
00:16:09,500 --> 00:16:13,630
- (mumbling) Zack,
there are no bad boys.
402
00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:15,740
There are only boys that
haven't been reached.
403
00:16:15,740 --> 00:16:17,200
- Mr. Belding, you gotta send
404
00:16:17,210 --> 00:16:19,270
the right message
to the student body.
405
00:16:19,280 --> 00:16:20,870
I deserve detention.
406
00:16:22,380 --> 00:16:25,650
- You may not realize
this, but deep down,
407
00:16:25,650 --> 00:16:27,450
might you be seeking detention?
408
00:16:27,450 --> 00:16:28,420
(audience laughing)
409
00:16:28,420 --> 00:16:30,520
- Uh, what makes you think that?
410
00:16:31,690 --> 00:16:33,390
- I don't question the
gift, I just go with it.
411
00:16:33,390 --> 00:16:35,360
(audience laughing)
412
00:16:35,360 --> 00:16:37,890
- Sir, look, I really
need detention.
413
00:16:37,890 --> 00:16:39,390
- I'll determine what you need.
414
00:16:39,400 --> 00:16:41,530
(pen tapping)
415
00:16:41,530 --> 00:16:43,130
Would you please put that back?
416
00:16:44,170 --> 00:16:46,030
- Oh, you mean this bothers you?
417
00:16:46,040 --> 00:16:47,630
- Yes, it does.
418
00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:49,470
(audience laughing)
419
00:16:49,470 --> 00:16:51,740
- Then I'll put
it back right now.
420
00:16:51,740 --> 00:16:53,670
Oh, I'm sorry.
421
00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:56,240
- Please, please,
I'll put those back.
422
00:16:56,250 --> 00:16:57,410
I know where they go.
423
00:16:57,410 --> 00:17:00,280
(audience laughing)
424
00:17:02,490 --> 00:17:04,650
You know, Zack, this
summer I attended a
425
00:17:04,650 --> 00:17:07,790
seminar on how to handle
the problem child.
426
00:17:07,790 --> 00:17:11,330
Above all, you
must have patience.
427
00:17:11,330 --> 00:17:13,290
Don't touch my principal
of the month trophy.
428
00:17:13,300 --> 00:17:14,760
(audience laughing)
429
00:17:14,760 --> 00:17:15,600
- Oh, you mean this?
430
00:17:15,600 --> 00:17:16,500
- Yes, that.
431
00:17:17,830 --> 00:17:19,000
Where was I?
432
00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:20,670
- Uh, you were
talking about having
433
00:17:20,670 --> 00:17:22,740
patience with a problem child.
434
00:17:22,740 --> 00:17:24,200
- Right, right.
435
00:17:24,210 --> 00:17:28,010
Zack, we must try and understand
each other's position.
436
00:17:28,010 --> 00:17:30,780
What they say is that
you kids have a need
437
00:17:30,780 --> 00:17:32,610
and we have to
figure out exactly,
438
00:17:32,610 --> 00:17:34,150
put Mrs. Belding down!
439
00:17:34,150 --> 00:17:37,220
(audience laughing)
440
00:17:37,220 --> 00:17:40,150
I am positive that
together, we can work out.
441
00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:42,790
(trophy clatters)
442
00:17:42,790 --> 00:17:44,790
Look what you've done.
443
00:17:44,790 --> 00:17:47,790
Okay, mister, you've
pushed me too far.
444
00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:50,260
I hope you'll be very
happy in detention.
445
00:17:50,270 --> 00:17:52,130
- I'll try to make
the best of it, sir.
446
00:17:52,130 --> 00:17:53,270
(audience laughing)
447
00:17:53,270 --> 00:17:55,870
(upbeat music)
448
00:17:59,840 --> 00:18:01,640
Detention, just Kelly and me.
449
00:18:02,780 --> 00:18:03,810
A dream come true.
450
00:18:05,380 --> 00:18:08,120
(ethereal music)
451
00:18:13,320 --> 00:18:14,720
- Hello, Zack.
452
00:18:14,720 --> 00:18:16,190
I've been waiting for you.
453
00:18:16,190 --> 00:18:19,190
(audience laughing)
454
00:18:28,840 --> 00:18:30,340
It was so clever
of you to arrange
455
00:18:30,340 --> 00:18:32,970
for us to be in
detention together.
456
00:18:32,980 --> 00:18:34,210
- I hope I pleased you.
457
00:18:36,610 --> 00:18:38,150
- What does that tell you?
458
00:18:39,280 --> 00:18:40,650
(audience laughing)
459
00:18:40,650 --> 00:18:41,480
- Oh, boy.
460
00:18:42,620 --> 00:18:44,820
- Please, make
yourself comfortable.
461
00:18:44,820 --> 00:18:46,450
- Oh, no, after you.
462
00:18:46,460 --> 00:18:50,390
- No, no, you must be tired
from all that scheming.
463
00:18:50,390 --> 00:18:51,460
Rest, my love.
464
00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:54,790
- I was cunning, wasn't I?
465
00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:56,100
(audience laughing)
466
00:18:56,100 --> 00:18:58,770
- Yes, your mind turns me on.
467
00:18:59,700 --> 00:19:00,570
I love you, master.
468
00:19:06,140 --> 00:19:08,310
- Why keep my love
waiting any longer?
469
00:19:08,310 --> 00:19:11,310
(audience laughing)
470
00:19:17,320 --> 00:19:18,850
What are you doing here?
471
00:19:18,850 --> 00:19:22,390
- I liked your act so much I
decided to pull one of my own.
472
00:19:22,390 --> 00:19:23,620
- What'd you do?
473
00:19:23,630 --> 00:19:26,090
- You know Mr. Warren,
the science teacher?
474
00:19:26,090 --> 00:19:26,960
I mooned him.
475
00:19:26,960 --> 00:19:29,660
(audience laughing)
476
00:19:29,670 --> 00:19:30,860
- No kidding?
477
00:19:30,870 --> 00:19:32,470
I'm impressed.
478
00:19:32,470 --> 00:19:35,570
- Doesn't matter, we're
both a couple of jerks.
479
00:19:35,570 --> 00:19:36,970
- What do you mean?
480
00:19:36,970 --> 00:19:38,140
- Kelly's not coming.
481
00:19:40,740 --> 00:19:41,980
Belding found out she saved
482
00:19:41,980 --> 00:19:43,680
Screech's life and
he excused her.
483
00:19:44,910 --> 00:19:47,550
- So after all this
it's you and me?
484
00:19:47,550 --> 00:19:49,220
(audience laughing)
485
00:19:49,220 --> 00:19:50,380
- Ain't love grand?
486
00:19:52,490 --> 00:19:53,720
- None of this
would have happened
487
00:19:53,720 --> 00:19:55,360
if you hadn't tried
to move in on my girl.
488
00:19:55,360 --> 00:19:56,620
- Your girl?
489
00:19:56,630 --> 00:19:58,790
I didn't see a sign on
her saying Zack's chick.
490
00:19:58,790 --> 00:20:01,760
- Look Slater, I've waited
for Kelly for two years.
491
00:20:01,760 --> 00:20:03,730
I've lived through her
last six boyfriends.
492
00:20:03,730 --> 00:20:05,400
Think of the man hours I put in.
493
00:20:05,400 --> 00:20:07,330
- (scoffs) Wimp hours
is more like it.
494
00:20:07,340 --> 00:20:08,400
(audience laughing)
495
00:20:08,400 --> 00:20:09,900
- You calling me names?
496
00:20:09,910 --> 00:20:12,640
You're the one who's been in
14 schools in three years.
497
00:20:12,640 --> 00:20:14,580
What are you, some
sort of delinquent?
498
00:20:14,580 --> 00:20:18,910
- Hey, look preppy, my
father's in the Army, okay?
499
00:20:18,910 --> 00:20:20,880
While he's trying
to be all he can be
500
00:20:20,880 --> 00:20:22,520
I get shipped along
with his boots.
501
00:20:22,520 --> 00:20:24,920
You got a problem with that?
- What if I do?
502
00:20:24,920 --> 00:20:27,120
- Pushing, shoving, menacing
and rough housing of
503
00:20:27,120 --> 00:20:31,390
any kind are prohibited on
school grounds and or building.
504
00:20:31,390 --> 00:20:32,930
That's what your homes are for.
505
00:20:32,930 --> 00:20:34,460
(audience laughing)
506
00:20:34,460 --> 00:20:35,930
- Aw, we weren't arguing.
507
00:20:35,930 --> 00:20:38,400
- Yeah, we were just
discussing a math problem.
508
00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:40,700
How two into one won't go.
509
00:20:40,700 --> 00:20:43,000
- I don't believe
it and I don't care.
510
00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:44,400
I'm tired, I have a toothache,
511
00:20:44,410 --> 00:20:46,170
and I have to go
home and pump iron.
512
00:20:46,170 --> 00:20:49,140
(audience laughing)
513
00:20:50,480 --> 00:20:52,850
- Hey, is your dad
really in the Army?
514
00:20:52,850 --> 00:20:54,080
- If he's not, this is a really
515
00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:55,680
dirty trick he's
been playing on us.
516
00:20:55,680 --> 00:20:57,150
(audience laughing)
517
00:20:57,150 --> 00:20:59,650
- What's it like going
from school to school?
518
00:20:59,660 --> 00:21:00,620
- It's not so bad.
519
00:21:02,190 --> 00:21:03,620
- You know, Slater, if you and I
520
00:21:03,630 --> 00:21:05,230
joined forces we
could own this school.
521
00:21:05,230 --> 00:21:07,330
- Sorry, kid, I work alone.
522
00:21:07,330 --> 00:21:09,530
- Who's asking?
- You were.
523
00:21:10,730 --> 00:21:12,830
I scare you, don't I, Morris?
524
00:21:12,830 --> 00:21:15,000
This was your turf
until I showed up.
525
00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:17,240
- It was, it is, and
it always will be.
526
00:21:17,240 --> 00:21:19,640
- You wanna make a
friendly bet on that?
527
00:21:19,640 --> 00:21:21,280
- Count on it, buddy.
528
00:21:22,210 --> 00:21:24,110
(audience laughing)
529
00:21:24,110 --> 00:21:26,680
(upbeat music)
530
00:21:30,750 --> 00:21:33,920
All right, maybe the first day
didn't turn out as I planned.
531
00:21:33,920 --> 00:21:36,160
But hey, I'm just warming up.
532
00:21:36,160 --> 00:21:37,560
I love school.
533
00:21:37,560 --> 00:21:39,230
Too bad classes get in the way.
534
00:21:39,230 --> 00:21:42,230
(audience laughing)
535
00:21:44,200 --> 00:21:46,830
(upbeat music)
36702
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