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Official YIFY movies site:
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[crickets chirping]
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[upbeat funky music]
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* *
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- All right, here we go.
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* *
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We're at the Columbus Theatre
in Providence.
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Beautiful theater.
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Probably about 800 seats.
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I'm not performing here.
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We're not performing
on this stage.
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[laughs]
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I'm performing up there.
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That's where I work out
new material.
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This is very hard to explain.
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00:00:52,052 --> 00:00:54,679
"Old Man and the Pool"
went to Broadway.
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00:00:54,721 --> 00:00:56,723
- His Broadway show--
it's fantastic--
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"The Old Man and the Pool,"
with an additional
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00:00:58,641 --> 00:01:00,477
two-week extension of its run.
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00:01:00,518 --> 00:01:02,729
Please welcome back to the show
our friend Mike Birbiglia.
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[cheers and applause]
- Super exciting.
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00:01:04,439 --> 00:01:05,774
And then it ends.
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It's like, well,
I can't tour that anymore.
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And so then it's like, OK.
Well, now what do I do?
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[indistinct chatter]
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This week in Providence,
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it's, like, show number one
of 500 shows
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or however many it takes
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to be the next Broadway show,
comedy special.
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What's the next show about?
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And it's like, I don't know...
- Right.
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- Until I figure out
what I'm obsessed with.
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- When a comedian puts
a special out into the world,
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they are faced
with a real sense of dread
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00:01:37,597 --> 00:01:40,517
that that is the last hour of
jokes they're ever gonna write,
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and they should probably move
on to a different career.
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- Good evening, and welcome...
[laughs]
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To the Strange Attic
at the Columbus Theatre,
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00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:52,070
where Mike Birbiglia sometimes
performs shows for some reason.
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[cheers and applause]
Thanks.
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00:01:53,988 --> 00:01:56,074
Thanks, Gary.
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[cheers and applause]
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00:01:59,994 --> 00:02:01,329
Here we go again.
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00:02:01,371 --> 00:02:02,872
This is the beginning.
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00:02:02,914 --> 00:02:05,166
- A comedian
only makes it work onstage
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if it looks like it's the first
time they're saying it.
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00:02:08,169 --> 00:02:11,756
If it doesn't seem natural,
the audience feels ripped off.
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00:02:11,798 --> 00:02:14,259
You weirdly have to put
all this time into it
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to make it look
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like you're coming up with it
off the top of your head.
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- I don't know
why that's so funny.
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00:02:19,848 --> 00:02:22,350
You think it's funny,
so it'll live
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00:02:22,392 --> 00:02:24,686
to see another night
in the show.
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I always tell the audience,
"In case anyone's wondering,
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there will be no arc."
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If you feel themes,
those aren't themes.
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[laughter]
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It's just the same person
telling the jokes.
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"If you notice an arc,
feel free to shout it out."
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You're probably thinking,
how come we don't get
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the final product?
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We just get the first draft.
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I think Providence is
a first-draft town.
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I just feel like--
[laughter]
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Maybe that's who you are.
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That's--that's why
my family lives here.
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[laughter and applause]
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[bright music]
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* *
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[laughter]
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I'm gonna start with a story
that took place
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here in Rhode Island
last summer.
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My wife and I stayed
at an Airbnb,
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which, by the way,
no breakfast.
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It's a--Airbnb is
a wildly misleading acronym.
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It's like if you showed up
to an AA meeting,
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and they're like,
"We're livestreaming."
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And you're like, I had heard
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it was sort of a private thing.
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And they're like,
"Pop open a wine cooler.
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We're gonna dish some goss."
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[laughter]
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All I'm doing right now
is just throwing out jokes
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and seeing what sticks.
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If they get a big enough laugh,
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I'll do them,
you know, next week
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in Washington, D.C.
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That's actually what's
exciting about these shows,
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is it's an adventure.
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It's like, OK.
Wonder what this will be.
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- Yeah.
- Who knows?
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- Mike came upon this idea
to call shows "Working It Out,"
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so as to set expectations.
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You know, this isn't
a fully realized show.
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- I come off of doing
"Old Man and the Pool,"
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where it's, like, this
fully realized production.
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I've been working
for four years.
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So I always have
this sense of, like,
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do they know that this is
what they're getting into?
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This Airbnb said
five minutes from the beach.
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And it wasn't.
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It was not
five minutes from the beach.
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It was on Seaview Road.
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There was no sea view.
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Everything was misleading.
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[light music]
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- I've only done one special,
so I'm so impressed with Mike
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and people like Mike
who are prolific enough
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to churn out a bunch.
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And the other thing
about Mike is,
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none of his have ever seemed
even a little bit rushed.
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You realize
that he takes that idea
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of what a special means
literally.
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* *
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Obviously, he's been
incredibly lucky to be gifted
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with things like
a sleepwalking affliction,
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heart trouble.
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Not all of us can have this
fall in our laps.
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- So I told my brother Joe
about this,
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and he goes, "You should
come over to our place."
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I went over to his house,
and his house is
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five minutes from the beach.
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[laughter]
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And Joe and I, we work
together professionally.
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We've worked together
for 15 years.
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I mean--but technically...
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he works for me.
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[laughter]
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I mean, I sign his checks.
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[laughter]
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So, if he's five minutes
from the beach...
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I should be
five minutes from the beach.
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So I started thinking,
I should seize his home.
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[laughter]
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[upbeat music]
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* *
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I think people ask you a lot,
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00:06:02,737 --> 00:06:04,739
how come you didn't become
a stand-up?
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00:06:04,781 --> 00:06:06,700
- Yeah, OK.
- Because you're very funny.
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00:06:06,741 --> 00:06:08,368
- Yes.
- You're a comedy writer.
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- Some would say more funny.
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[laughs]
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- Some would say more funny.
- Mostly our mom.
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- Most people.
- Mostly our mom.
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[laughter]
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The joke Mike has made is that
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I'm too sensible
to be a comedian.
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Yeah, I had a pretty serious
corporate job at the time...
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00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:22,257
- Yeah.
- At Pfizer.
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00:06:22,298 --> 00:06:24,134
And finally when he said,
"I need your help,"
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I was more than happy
to leave that world.
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On occasion, I'll write a joke
and give it to him.
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00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:31,766
And then he'll present it,
and it won't do well.
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But he didn't do it
the way I thought
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he should have done it.
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[laughs]
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Is he here? Um...
[laughs]
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00:06:38,773 --> 00:06:43,278
- When I was in high school,
you were living in Brooklyn.
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00:06:43,319 --> 00:06:46,239
And you would take me
to, like, the hipper shows
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00:06:46,281 --> 00:06:49,159
that had Sarah Silverman
and Zach Galifianakis.
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00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:51,161
- Right.
- Joe took me
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00:06:51,202 --> 00:06:53,288
to see Steven Wright
at the Cape Cod Melody Tent
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00:06:53,329 --> 00:06:55,040
when I was, like, 16.
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Two of my biggest influences
were Steven Wright
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and Mitch Hedberg.
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00:06:59,544 --> 00:07:00,920
- It's a small world,
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but I wouldn't want
to paint it.
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[laughter]
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- Steven Wright, of course,
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00:07:05,884 --> 00:07:08,261
was all these, like, one-liner,
like, cerebral jokes.
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00:07:08,303 --> 00:07:10,347
People are always surprised
that these are the influences,
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00:07:10,388 --> 00:07:13,141
because they don't think of me
as, like, a joke teller.
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00:07:13,183 --> 00:07:14,601
And, like, Steven Wright
and Mitch Hedberg are
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00:07:14,642 --> 00:07:16,686
two of the greatest
joke tellers of all time.
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00:07:16,728 --> 00:07:18,313
- I'm gonna rob a bank
with a BB gun.
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00:07:18,355 --> 00:07:21,691
Give me all your money,
or I will give you a dimple.
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00:07:21,733 --> 00:07:23,276
- In terms of developing
"Sleepwalk With Me,"
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00:07:23,318 --> 00:07:24,694
my biggest influence
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00:07:24,736 --> 00:07:27,280
was "Richard Pryor:
Live from the Sunset Strip."
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00:07:27,322 --> 00:07:29,282
- Of all the people
you ever heard of freebasing,
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00:07:29,324 --> 00:07:33,578
have you ever heard
of anybody blowing up?
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00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:34,996
Why me?
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00:07:35,038 --> 00:07:37,749
- He just had so many moves--
wildly versatile.
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00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:39,626
Sometimes you don't need
punch lines.
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00:07:39,668 --> 00:07:43,463
Sometimes
it can just be what happened.
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* *
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00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:49,219
I love jokes,
and I love storytelling.
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So I do these shows
that are solo plays,
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00:07:53,223 --> 00:07:55,558
that are also
stand-up specials.
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00:07:57,769 --> 00:08:00,480
I'm a very different comic
than I was when I started.
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00:08:00,522 --> 00:08:02,565
I was like
an observational comic.
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00:08:02,607 --> 00:08:04,317
And at a certain point,
I started telling
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00:08:04,359 --> 00:08:05,860
personal stories about my life.
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00:08:05,902 --> 00:08:07,654
And it was weird.
It was a hard thing to do,
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00:08:07,696 --> 00:08:09,114
because I was
always discouraged
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00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:10,865
from telling personal stories
growing up.
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00:08:10,907 --> 00:08:12,826
Like, my dad, my whole life,
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00:08:12,867 --> 00:08:14,661
when I would tell
personal stories,
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00:08:14,703 --> 00:08:18,581
he'd be like,
"Don't tell anyone."
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00:08:18,623 --> 00:08:20,125
And it would be
about mundane things.
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00:08:20,166 --> 00:08:21,459
Like, it wasn't
about creepy things.
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00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:23,169
Like, I wouldn't make
the soccer team,
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00:08:23,211 --> 00:08:25,171
and he'd be like,
"Don't tell anyone."
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00:08:25,213 --> 00:08:27,882
I was like, they're gonna know,
you know,
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00:08:27,924 --> 00:08:32,887
when they show up at the games
and I'm not on the team
207
00:08:32,929 --> 00:08:35,056
and I'm crying,
you know what I mean?
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00:08:35,098 --> 00:08:36,641
And--
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00:08:36,683 --> 00:08:38,018
[soft music]
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00:08:38,059 --> 00:08:39,894
My dad, he was a doctor--
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00:08:39,936 --> 00:08:43,898
very serious person,
very academic person.
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00:08:43,940 --> 00:08:46,026
He always had this thing
that was like,
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00:08:46,067 --> 00:08:47,902
the more that you tell people
about yourself,
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00:08:47,944 --> 00:08:50,321
the more they can use it
against you.
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00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:53,450
But the upside is incredible.
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00:08:53,491 --> 00:08:57,787
If you can open up to people
and tell them the thing
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00:08:57,829 --> 00:09:00,582
that you'd be the least likely
to tell them about--
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00:09:00,623 --> 00:09:02,584
how you had cancer
or how you have
219
00:09:02,625 --> 00:09:05,754
a serious sleepwalking disorder
or any of your flaws,
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00:09:05,795 --> 00:09:08,882
anything that you're
self-conscious about,
221
00:09:08,923 --> 00:09:10,925
the connection can be so deep.
222
00:09:12,260 --> 00:09:15,180
- When you grow up in
a structured Catholic family,
223
00:09:15,221 --> 00:09:17,891
there is a fear
of veering way off.
224
00:09:17,932 --> 00:09:21,519
But I do think that Mom
and Dad were supportive of you
225
00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:22,562
or supportive--
- Of comedy?
226
00:09:22,604 --> 00:09:23,772
- Yes.
- Really?
227
00:09:23,813 --> 00:09:25,774
- I do.
I think that more than you do.
228
00:09:25,815 --> 00:09:28,985
- Literally, when I told Dad
I was doing comedy--
229
00:09:29,027 --> 00:09:30,862
when I was at Georgetown,
I was working the door.
230
00:09:30,904 --> 00:09:32,113
- Mm-hmm.
- And I said,
231
00:09:32,155 --> 00:09:33,490
"I'm working
at a comedy club at the door."
232
00:09:33,531 --> 00:09:36,368
And he goes, "Comedy club?
What do they do, strip?"
233
00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:37,619
- [laughs]
- He literally--
234
00:09:37,660 --> 00:09:38,828
- Right, right.
- You know?
235
00:09:38,870 --> 00:09:40,455
And it's like
a "Marvelous Mrs. Maisel."
236
00:09:40,497 --> 00:09:41,915
- Right.
- Like, that's the context
237
00:09:41,956 --> 00:09:45,126
of his old-time clubs.
- That's right.
238
00:09:45,168 --> 00:09:47,754
- When I was a kid, I feel
like everything in my life
239
00:09:47,796 --> 00:09:50,924
was me trying to express--
240
00:09:50,965 --> 00:09:53,843
like, writing poetry,
writing essays,
241
00:09:53,885 --> 00:09:57,263
writing jokes, drawing,
painting, writing plays...
242
00:09:57,305 --> 00:10:00,266
* *
243
00:10:00,308 --> 00:10:03,603
And just, like,
in every direction,
244
00:10:03,645 --> 00:10:05,230
people just being like,
245
00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:07,982
"Yeah, I don't think
that's for you."
246
00:10:08,024 --> 00:10:11,152
And they didn't mean
any harm by it.
247
00:10:11,194 --> 00:10:14,698
They just thought I was this
kid who, like, trips a lot.
248
00:10:14,739 --> 00:10:16,324
Like, it's almost like
the great metaphor
249
00:10:16,366 --> 00:10:18,910
for being a comedian is like,
it's the person who trips a lot
250
00:10:18,952 --> 00:10:20,453
and then figures out
how to write about it
251
00:10:20,495 --> 00:10:21,955
in a funny way.
252
00:10:21,996 --> 00:10:25,583
When I was 20,
there was blood in my pee.
253
00:10:25,625 --> 00:10:27,794
My dad takes me first thing
in the morning to see
254
00:10:27,836 --> 00:10:29,254
a urologist friend of his.
255
00:10:29,295 --> 00:10:31,673
And the urologist asked me
to take my pants down,
256
00:10:31,715 --> 00:10:32,966
and he's looking around.
257
00:10:33,008 --> 00:10:34,801
I started to chime in
with my own theories,
258
00:10:34,843 --> 00:10:36,761
because I find
doctors enjoy that.
259
00:10:36,803 --> 00:10:39,055
I said to my urologist--
I can never unsay this.
260
00:10:39,097 --> 00:10:42,851
I said, "Is it possible
that the blood is from me
261
00:10:42,892 --> 00:10:45,145
masturbating too often?"
262
00:10:45,186 --> 00:10:46,855
[laughter]
263
00:10:46,896 --> 00:10:49,274
I said that...
264
00:10:49,315 --> 00:10:51,401
out loud...
265
00:10:51,443 --> 00:10:53,737
to my dad's friend!
266
00:10:53,778 --> 00:10:56,865
[laughter]
267
00:10:56,906 --> 00:10:59,868
The best jokes are the secrets.
268
00:10:59,909 --> 00:11:02,037
You're telling the audience
things that, like,
269
00:11:02,078 --> 00:11:04,581
you're not even really telling
your friends.
270
00:11:04,622 --> 00:11:05,790
You look at the last show.
271
00:11:05,832 --> 00:11:07,167
It's like,
"Old Man and the Pool" is,
272
00:11:07,208 --> 00:11:08,668
I'm obsessed with age
and mortality.
273
00:11:08,710 --> 00:11:09,878
- Right.
- You look at the show
274
00:11:09,919 --> 00:11:11,171
before that, "The New One,"
it's like,
275
00:11:11,212 --> 00:11:12,756
I'm obsessed
with having a child,
276
00:11:12,797 --> 00:11:14,007
even though I never wanted
to have a child.
277
00:11:14,049 --> 00:11:15,717
- Right.
- The obsession thing,
278
00:11:15,759 --> 00:11:17,052
it's like--
- Totally.
279
00:11:17,093 --> 00:11:18,678
- People being like,
what's the next show about?
280
00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:19,763
And it's like, I don't know.
- Right.
281
00:11:19,804 --> 00:11:21,431
- The last show was
all about death,
282
00:11:21,473 --> 00:11:23,975
'cause it's a preoccupation
and it's relatable.
283
00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:25,310
We're all gonna die.
284
00:11:25,352 --> 00:11:27,145
So now I'm trying
to figure out, like,
285
00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:28,688
OK, I'm writing this new show.
286
00:11:28,730 --> 00:11:31,024
It's like, well,
what's after death?
287
00:11:31,066 --> 00:11:32,942
What's the show gonna be about?
288
00:11:32,984 --> 00:11:35,737
What's more high stakes
than death?
289
00:11:45,413 --> 00:11:46,873
- One time, I was
in West Virginia.
290
00:11:46,915 --> 00:11:48,124
This is when
I was starting out.
291
00:11:48,166 --> 00:11:49,501
And this guy was
opening for me.
292
00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:51,127
He goes, "Oh, you live
in New York City?"
293
00:11:51,169 --> 00:11:52,629
He goes, "I went there once.
294
00:11:52,671 --> 00:11:54,130
"The only place I saw was
295
00:11:54,172 --> 00:11:56,675
the inside
of an abortion clinic."
296
00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:58,635
You know,
that's like a joke where
297
00:11:58,677 --> 00:12:01,513
I wouldn't have written
that joke, like, 20 years ago.
298
00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:03,431
But I wrote down the memory.
299
00:12:03,473 --> 00:12:05,850
That's how he started
the conversation.
300
00:12:05,892 --> 00:12:10,480
Now, what I should have said...
301
00:12:10,522 --> 00:12:12,273
was nothing.
302
00:12:12,315 --> 00:12:14,025
[laughter]
303
00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:16,319
What I did say was,
304
00:12:16,361 --> 00:12:18,154
"You really gotta spend
a week there
305
00:12:18,196 --> 00:12:19,906
"to get a feel for the town.
306
00:12:19,948 --> 00:12:24,869
"You know, I'd probably swing
by the Empire State Building.
307
00:12:24,911 --> 00:12:28,415
"If it's the holiday season,
I'd go to Rockefeller Center
308
00:12:28,456 --> 00:12:29,791
"to see the tree.
309
00:12:29,833 --> 00:12:32,127
"The abortion clinics are nice.
310
00:12:32,168 --> 00:12:34,504
That was one of your things."
311
00:12:34,546 --> 00:12:38,550
[laughter]
312
00:12:38,591 --> 00:12:41,720
I journal a lot--probably
three, four times a week.
313
00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:45,181
And usually, it's not funny,
314
00:12:45,223 --> 00:12:48,685
as much as it's just
writing down memories
315
00:12:48,727 --> 00:12:50,437
so that I don't forget them.
316
00:12:50,478 --> 00:12:52,856
- I'll walk into his dressing
room when he's on the show,
317
00:12:52,897 --> 00:12:54,858
and there'll be a journal
he's writing in,
318
00:12:54,899 --> 00:12:56,234
and there's another journal--
319
00:12:56,276 --> 00:13:00,030
almost as if he's flexing
to everybody who comes in,
320
00:13:00,071 --> 00:13:02,532
I might fill up
this first journal
321
00:13:02,574 --> 00:13:05,035
so fast that I need
a second one.
322
00:13:05,076 --> 00:13:07,787
This is a random box
of journals,
323
00:13:07,829 --> 00:13:11,666
which is the only type
of box of journals I have.
324
00:13:13,501 --> 00:13:17,672
A lot--like, a majority of it
is just writing something down
325
00:13:17,714 --> 00:13:21,384
about how you feel
and then rereading them later
326
00:13:21,426 --> 00:13:23,762
and seeing if there's
anything of value
327
00:13:23,803 --> 00:13:26,181
that's worth saying onstage.
328
00:13:26,222 --> 00:13:28,308
[percussive music]
329
00:13:28,350 --> 00:13:31,394
"Comedy is mean,
even when it's not mean,
330
00:13:31,436 --> 00:13:33,938
"because life is mean
and painful and cruel.
331
00:13:33,980 --> 00:13:36,524
Or at very least,
the funny parts."
332
00:13:36,566 --> 00:13:38,026
I stand by that.
333
00:13:40,445 --> 00:13:44,991
Most of the time,
all of us are being polite
334
00:13:45,033 --> 00:13:47,619
to either everyone
we're encountering
335
00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:50,246
or some people
we're encountering.
336
00:13:50,288 --> 00:13:54,417
And you don't have to be polite
to a journal.
337
00:13:54,459 --> 00:13:57,253
It is the only thing
that I can think of
338
00:13:57,295 --> 00:14:00,632
that is culturally understood
that only belongs to you.
339
00:14:03,343 --> 00:14:05,428
This is from, I think--
it's, like, four years old.
340
00:14:05,470 --> 00:14:07,263
"I just got back
from Brooklyn Bridge Park,
341
00:14:07,305 --> 00:14:09,265
"where ten four-year-olds
tackled me
342
00:14:09,307 --> 00:14:11,810
"and stuffed grass
into my nose and ears
343
00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:14,187
and yelled, 'Beautiful.'"
344
00:14:14,229 --> 00:14:16,314
That's the kind of thing
that I would write down,
345
00:14:16,356 --> 00:14:18,525
and it might become a joke,
it might not.
346
00:14:18,566 --> 00:14:19,984
I mean, that would
basically have to be--
347
00:14:20,026 --> 00:14:23,488
that would be the setup
for punch line, tag, tag, tag.
348
00:14:23,530 --> 00:14:25,240
Essentially,
like, the structure
349
00:14:25,281 --> 00:14:27,075
of, like, everything I do.
350
00:14:27,117 --> 00:14:28,493
Like, in a full journal
like this,
351
00:14:28,535 --> 00:14:30,662
there might be one line
that's, like, anything.
352
00:14:30,704 --> 00:14:33,289
With all of this,
you're creating clay
353
00:14:33,331 --> 00:14:34,958
to make a sculpture.
354
00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:37,669
But if you didn't have clay,
you couldn't make a sculpture.
355
00:14:37,711 --> 00:14:40,839
And so this is the dirt.
356
00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:43,633
[upbeat music]
357
00:14:43,675 --> 00:14:46,219
My whole life,
my dad would be like,
358
00:14:46,261 --> 00:14:48,471
"Don't tell anyone."
359
00:14:48,513 --> 00:14:50,098
I wouldn't make
the soccer team.
360
00:14:50,140 --> 00:14:52,225
He'd be like,
"Don't tell anyone."
361
00:14:52,267 --> 00:14:54,227
I was like,
"They're gonna know
362
00:14:54,269 --> 00:14:56,646
"when I'm not on the team
363
00:14:56,688 --> 00:14:58,982
and I'm crying,
you know what I mean?"
364
00:14:59,024 --> 00:15:00,358
And...
365
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:02,027
- Do you get time
every day to write?
366
00:15:02,068 --> 00:15:03,278
- God, no.
367
00:15:03,319 --> 00:15:05,113
I mean, I try, but it's like--
368
00:15:05,155 --> 00:15:07,949
I find that the time
I'm able to write most
369
00:15:07,991 --> 00:15:11,494
is on the subway
to the Comedy Cellar.
370
00:15:11,536 --> 00:15:13,872
Earlier today,
I showed them my journals.
371
00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:16,166
I've never shown anyone
my journals--anyone, ever.
372
00:15:16,207 --> 00:15:17,792
- You have
a whole record called
373
00:15:17,834 --> 00:15:19,461
"My Secret Private Journals."
374
00:15:19,502 --> 00:15:21,546
- I know, but I've never
showed them to anybody.
375
00:15:21,588 --> 00:15:24,466
- [laughs]
376
00:15:27,385 --> 00:15:30,180
- So the process usually
is writing in my journal.
377
00:15:30,221 --> 00:15:32,807
And then I'll be like, OK.
378
00:15:32,849 --> 00:15:34,642
I'll give that a shot onstage.
379
00:15:34,684 --> 00:15:38,104
And then I have
one other Rhode Island story.
380
00:15:38,146 --> 00:15:40,899
Pedro from Petro,
381
00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:44,361
which I have to read,
'cause it's brand-new.
382
00:15:44,402 --> 00:15:46,946
Two years ago, my wife
and daughter and I rented
383
00:15:46,988 --> 00:15:48,406
a house here in Barrington.
384
00:15:48,448 --> 00:15:53,286
Everything was great
until we turned the heat on
385
00:15:53,328 --> 00:15:55,997
and there wasn't any.
386
00:15:56,039 --> 00:15:58,667
And it was Thanksgiving.
387
00:15:58,708 --> 00:16:00,543
I'll bring it
to, like, Peter and Joe,
388
00:16:00,585 --> 00:16:04,047
and we'll kick around
analogies and tags
389
00:16:04,089 --> 00:16:05,340
and things like that.
390
00:16:05,382 --> 00:16:07,926
The Pedro from Petro story
391
00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:09,135
went this week
392
00:16:09,177 --> 00:16:11,179
from being 4 pages
393
00:16:11,221 --> 00:16:13,556
to about 2 1/2 pages.
394
00:16:13,598 --> 00:16:16,059
So it went from being
about a 12-minute story
395
00:16:16,101 --> 00:16:18,978
this week to being, like,
a 7-minute story.
396
00:16:19,020 --> 00:16:20,647
And I called the oil company.
397
00:16:20,689 --> 00:16:23,066
I didn't shout,
but I think he could hear
398
00:16:23,108 --> 00:16:24,943
some angst in my voice.
399
00:16:24,984 --> 00:16:28,738
And to deescalate it,
he goes, "Happy Thanksgiving."
400
00:16:28,780 --> 00:16:31,700
[laughter]
401
00:16:31,741 --> 00:16:33,243
And it will probably land
at being,
402
00:16:33,284 --> 00:16:34,953
like, a 5-minute story.
403
00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:38,206
Which I thought was a pretty
smart move on his part,
404
00:16:38,248 --> 00:16:40,458
because I was
forced to respond,
405
00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:44,504
"Happy Thanksgiving
to you, too."
406
00:16:44,546 --> 00:16:48,591
Even though he was completely
fucking me over in real time
407
00:16:48,633 --> 00:16:51,678
and lying to me,
like the pilgrims.
408
00:16:51,720 --> 00:16:54,472
[laughter]
409
00:16:54,514 --> 00:16:58,643
The--all right,
I'll keep in that line.
410
00:16:58,685 --> 00:17:00,937
You could also change
"Happy Thanksgiving"
411
00:17:00,979 --> 00:17:02,188
to "Merry Christmas."
412
00:17:02,230 --> 00:17:04,065
- Oh, right.
Just move it to Christmas.
413
00:17:04,107 --> 00:17:05,650
- Yeah.
- Oh, that's interesting.
414
00:17:05,692 --> 00:17:07,444
- In a way,
that's kind of better.
415
00:17:07,485 --> 00:17:08,778
- Well, is it less--
I mean, well,
416
00:17:08,820 --> 00:17:10,488
people do run out of oil
on Christmas.
417
00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:12,407
- Yeah, but then
you lose the pilgrims joke.
418
00:17:12,449 --> 00:17:13,783
- That's the thing.
419
00:17:13,825 --> 00:17:15,452
- Pilgrims joke is currently
the biggest hitter.
420
00:17:15,493 --> 00:17:16,953
- Oh, right. Right, right.
- Yeah.
421
00:17:16,995 --> 00:17:19,789
I feel like the upsides of
this week, for me, feel clear.
422
00:17:19,831 --> 00:17:23,626
There's a lot of jokes
and a lot of stories that work.
423
00:17:23,668 --> 00:17:26,504
The downside is,
it's not about anything.
424
00:17:26,546 --> 00:17:28,631
- I remember seeing
one of Mike's shows
425
00:17:28,673 --> 00:17:30,175
and going backstage
afterwards,
426
00:17:30,216 --> 00:17:33,011
and this was a show that was
exceptional when I saw it.
427
00:17:33,053 --> 00:17:35,555
I would've thought there was
no work left in this show.
428
00:17:35,597 --> 00:17:37,307
And then you go backstage,
429
00:17:37,349 --> 00:17:40,602
and it does look
like a detective
430
00:17:40,643 --> 00:17:44,481
trying to catch a serial killer
in the middle of a manhunt--
431
00:17:44,522 --> 00:17:46,608
so many different index cards.
432
00:17:46,649 --> 00:17:48,443
I don't know if it made it
more or less fun
433
00:17:48,485 --> 00:17:50,737
to realize how much work,
434
00:17:50,779 --> 00:17:52,989
how much structure had gone
into what I'd just seen
435
00:17:53,031 --> 00:17:54,282
that he had made
look effortless.
436
00:17:54,324 --> 00:17:56,326
- This index-card thing
is brilliant.
437
00:17:56,368 --> 00:17:58,661
It sounds simple,
but it's so brilliant.
438
00:17:58,703 --> 00:18:01,414
He lays the entire show down
on index cards.
439
00:18:01,456 --> 00:18:03,291
[upbeat music]
440
00:18:03,333 --> 00:18:04,793
He tells me,
441
00:18:04,834 --> 00:18:07,671
"If I can lift up
one of these index cards
442
00:18:07,712 --> 00:18:09,422
and the show still works...
443
00:18:09,464 --> 00:18:11,508
- "Decent guys on the bus"
worked.
444
00:18:11,549 --> 00:18:13,885
- "Then that joke,
that story, is gone."
445
00:18:13,927 --> 00:18:16,346
- I was on book
the other night with it,
446
00:18:16,388 --> 00:18:17,931
and it didn't go as well.
447
00:18:17,972 --> 00:18:19,808
- He'll have bangers,
448
00:18:19,849 --> 00:18:21,643
like, really great jokes.
449
00:18:21,685 --> 00:18:23,645
- It felt a little stodgy.
450
00:18:23,687 --> 00:18:26,648
- And he'll just lift it,
lift it, lift it.
451
00:18:26,690 --> 00:18:29,359
- I think, like, long-term,
Pedro from Petro,
452
00:18:29,401 --> 00:18:31,319
if that's gonna live
in the show,
453
00:18:31,361 --> 00:18:33,697
it's gonna have to have
something to do
454
00:18:33,738 --> 00:18:35,657
with taking care of my family.
455
00:18:35,699 --> 00:18:38,159
- Mm-hmm.
- Some kind of stakes.
456
00:18:38,201 --> 00:18:39,577
- I know you well enough
to know
457
00:18:39,619 --> 00:18:42,330
you're in between, like,
five things at all times.
458
00:18:42,372 --> 00:18:43,873
You're working up
new material at the Cellar,
459
00:18:43,915 --> 00:18:46,126
or you're doing the podcast,
you know.
460
00:18:46,167 --> 00:18:49,713
And Jen has your back,
and your brother has your back.
461
00:18:49,754 --> 00:18:52,757
But somehow, even though
they have your back,
462
00:18:52,799 --> 00:18:55,385
you have a feeling all the time
that it's all on you.
463
00:18:55,427 --> 00:18:56,803
- [laughs]
- That basically,
464
00:18:56,845 --> 00:18:58,888
if you stop working
for a month,
465
00:18:58,930 --> 00:19:02,600
suddenly, like, several people
would be unemployed and--
466
00:19:02,642 --> 00:19:04,728
I don't know,
I can't even imagine.
467
00:19:04,769 --> 00:19:06,396
- My wife is--
she's here tonight.
468
00:19:06,438 --> 00:19:08,023
She's a poet.
She writes under a pseudonym.
469
00:19:08,064 --> 00:19:09,232
It's Allen Ginsberg.
470
00:19:09,274 --> 00:19:12,485
And...
[laughter and applause]
471
00:19:12,527 --> 00:19:14,154
And I don't know if I would--
472
00:19:14,195 --> 00:19:16,072
I don't know if
I would have made these shows
473
00:19:16,114 --> 00:19:18,616
if it weren't for Jen,
because she's always
474
00:19:18,658 --> 00:19:20,577
really loved these shows.
475
00:19:20,618 --> 00:19:22,662
And I think
you end up just doing
476
00:19:22,704 --> 00:19:27,459
the thing that the person
who you're in love with enjoys,
477
00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:30,420
because you're like,
what else am I gonna do?
478
00:19:30,462 --> 00:19:32,881
[upbeat rock music]
479
00:19:32,922 --> 00:19:34,799
Actually,
it was a funny moment.
480
00:19:34,841 --> 00:19:36,926
They interviewed Jenny
earlier today.
481
00:19:36,968 --> 00:19:38,595
* *
482
00:19:38,636 --> 00:19:40,096
- If you talk
to Mike's siblings,
483
00:19:40,138 --> 00:19:42,390
you talk to his parents,
everyone will tell you
484
00:19:42,432 --> 00:19:45,226
that Joe Birbiglia
is the funnier Birbiglia.
485
00:19:45,268 --> 00:19:46,478
- And Jen was like,
486
00:19:46,519 --> 00:19:48,104
"I just want to set
the record straight.
487
00:19:48,146 --> 00:19:49,314
Like, Mike's the funny one."
488
00:19:49,356 --> 00:19:51,232
- Aww.
- I thought that was sweet.
489
00:19:51,274 --> 00:19:55,779
* *
490
00:19:55,820 --> 00:19:59,366
- When I met Mike,
he was 25 years old.
491
00:19:59,407 --> 00:20:02,410
As I got to know him,
he would tell me stories.
492
00:20:02,452 --> 00:20:03,995
And what I appreciated
about it
493
00:20:04,037 --> 00:20:06,331
is that he was telling me
all these things about him
494
00:20:06,373 --> 00:20:08,958
that were, like,
a lot of red flags.
495
00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:12,045
It wasn't gonna work
if we were gonna get married
496
00:20:12,087 --> 00:20:13,421
and I was going to stifle
497
00:20:13,463 --> 00:20:14,839
his ability to talk
about his life.
498
00:20:14,881 --> 00:20:17,467
- I'm very jealous
that Mike seems to have
499
00:20:17,509 --> 00:20:19,511
a solid understanding
with his wife
500
00:20:19,552 --> 00:20:21,971
about what is allowed
to be said onstage.
501
00:20:22,013 --> 00:20:25,975
My wife and I are having
a continuing conversation.
502
00:20:26,017 --> 00:20:27,977
- In Hindi,
there's a saying that says...
503
00:20:28,019 --> 00:20:29,813
[speaking Hindi]
504
00:20:29,854 --> 00:20:33,650
"Don't say the things
that you speak of at home,"
505
00:20:33,692 --> 00:20:36,820
which is a very, like, kind of
beautiful saying about...
506
00:20:36,861 --> 00:20:39,698
the way parents
and family members feel
507
00:20:39,739 --> 00:20:41,616
about the way comedians act
onstage.
508
00:20:41,658 --> 00:20:43,535
- My wife has said,
509
00:20:43,576 --> 00:20:45,662
"I don't care how mean
you make me sound,
510
00:20:45,704 --> 00:20:48,915
as long as you
always make me right."
511
00:20:48,957 --> 00:20:51,001
It's diabolical.
512
00:20:51,042 --> 00:20:53,545
- I'm happily married,
which is to say,
513
00:20:53,586 --> 00:20:55,755
I'm not happy...
514
00:20:55,797 --> 00:20:59,217
[laughter]
515
00:20:59,259 --> 00:21:01,094
But I'm happy I'm married.
516
00:21:01,136 --> 00:21:02,595
Does that make sense?
517
00:21:02,637 --> 00:21:04,723
- There's things that we
just keep for ourselves,
518
00:21:04,764 --> 00:21:06,766
and that's
very important to me.
519
00:21:06,808 --> 00:21:09,853
When I was pregnant,
I had a lot of issues.
520
00:21:09,894 --> 00:21:11,187
I was like,
"I really don't want you
521
00:21:11,229 --> 00:21:12,647
talking about this onstage."
522
00:21:12,689 --> 00:21:13,857
And that was really hard
for him.
523
00:21:13,898 --> 00:21:15,692
- But, like,
yeah, because I wasn't
524
00:21:15,734 --> 00:21:17,902
happy before I, like,
was married.
525
00:21:17,944 --> 00:21:19,779
And then I got married,
and I'm like, that's cool.
526
00:21:19,821 --> 00:21:22,407
And then like,
I'm still not happy.
527
00:21:22,449 --> 00:21:24,034
You know what I mean?
528
00:21:24,075 --> 00:21:28,538
And then, like, we had a child,
and, like, that's great.
529
00:21:28,580 --> 00:21:30,290
Still not happy.
You know what I mean?
530
00:21:30,331 --> 00:21:32,000
And...
531
00:21:32,042 --> 00:21:34,419
- So when Mike started writing
"The New One"
532
00:21:34,461 --> 00:21:36,046
about that time period,
533
00:21:36,087 --> 00:21:38,548
it was a little bit
of floodgates opening
534
00:21:38,590 --> 00:21:40,633
after I had sort of kiboshed
535
00:21:40,675 --> 00:21:44,387
his ability to talk
about our lives for a while.
536
00:21:44,429 --> 00:21:48,767
- Me not being happy, like,
that's what was cool about me.
537
00:21:48,808 --> 00:21:52,354
Like, you saw my shows, right?
538
00:21:52,395 --> 00:21:55,523
This is very tenuous stuff
I'm talking about here.
539
00:21:55,565 --> 00:21:58,276
It's unformed
and irresponsible.
540
00:21:58,318 --> 00:22:00,195
[laughter]
541
00:22:00,236 --> 00:22:02,989
For me to have something
be in a show,
542
00:22:03,031 --> 00:22:08,495
it has to be a story that is
attached to something real.
543
00:22:08,536 --> 00:22:10,413
You know, tragedy plus time.
544
00:22:10,455 --> 00:22:11,831
I'm always trying to find that.
545
00:22:11,873 --> 00:22:13,792
But if it's just serious,
546
00:22:13,833 --> 00:22:15,502
if I'm just talking
about cancer
547
00:22:15,543 --> 00:22:16,920
in a serious, serious way,
548
00:22:16,961 --> 00:22:18,880
well, that's not, like,
what having cancer is like.
549
00:22:18,922 --> 00:22:20,382
Like, when you have cancer,
550
00:22:20,423 --> 00:22:22,467
sometimes something funny
happens.
551
00:22:22,509 --> 00:22:24,260
That's why the story works.
552
00:22:24,302 --> 00:22:26,221
There's parts of the Internet
where they credit me with,
553
00:22:26,262 --> 00:22:28,723
"Comedy is tragedy plus time."
[laughter]
554
00:22:28,765 --> 00:22:31,059
- Really?
That's a good one, Mike.
555
00:22:31,101 --> 00:22:32,936
- I'm like, how do I fact-check
that one for them?
556
00:22:32,977 --> 00:22:34,938
[laughter]
That's not me!
557
00:22:34,979 --> 00:22:36,940
My whole comedy career
is based on it.
558
00:22:36,981 --> 00:22:38,400
- Yeah.
- But I didn't invent it.
559
00:22:38,441 --> 00:22:40,193
- That's really funny.
560
00:22:45,782 --> 00:22:48,868
- I haven't been here
in 30 years.
561
00:22:48,910 --> 00:22:50,161
Do you mind if I come up?
- Come on in.
562
00:22:50,203 --> 00:22:51,830
- OK.
Well, thank you very much.
563
00:22:51,871 --> 00:22:54,082
[upbeat music]
564
00:22:54,124 --> 00:22:56,251
This is the house
I grew up in Shrewsbury.
565
00:22:56,292 --> 00:22:58,461
* *
566
00:22:58,503 --> 00:23:00,005
- Oh, hi, there.
I'm Mike.
567
00:23:00,046 --> 00:23:02,298
I'm sorry to be in your home.
568
00:23:02,340 --> 00:23:05,260
I remember standing up
on a high chair
569
00:23:05,301 --> 00:23:07,429
when I was probably
three or four years old,
570
00:23:07,470 --> 00:23:09,055
trying to get attention,
571
00:23:09,097 --> 00:23:10,890
falling down,
and landing on my head.
572
00:23:10,932 --> 00:23:12,767
- Oh, no.
- They take me to the hospital.
573
00:23:12,809 --> 00:23:14,561
I ended up with, like,
20 stitches in my head.
574
00:23:14,602 --> 00:23:16,271
- Oh, my goodness.
575
00:23:16,312 --> 00:23:17,814
- That's where
comedians come from.
576
00:23:17,856 --> 00:23:19,357
We fall on our head.
577
00:23:21,151 --> 00:23:25,030
This week I visited
Shrewsbury, my hometown.
578
00:23:25,071 --> 00:23:26,656
I grew up in Shrewsbury,
Massachusetts.
579
00:23:26,698 --> 00:23:28,575
Yeah.
[cheers and applause]
580
00:23:28,616 --> 00:23:31,995
I went to Saint Mary's School--
it's a Catholic grade school--
581
00:23:32,037 --> 00:23:34,247
from grade one through eight.
582
00:23:34,289 --> 00:23:37,584
And, like, the amount
that you age
583
00:23:37,625 --> 00:23:41,087
in that span of time
is profound.
584
00:23:41,129 --> 00:23:43,757
Like, there was this girl
in my class.
585
00:23:43,798 --> 00:23:47,135
The nun let her
ring the bell for recess.
586
00:23:47,177 --> 00:23:49,262
And I remember thinking, like,
oh, that's so cool.
587
00:23:49,304 --> 00:23:51,264
In, like, third grade,
I was like, that's so cool.
588
00:23:51,306 --> 00:23:54,100
I hope someday
I can ring the bell.
589
00:23:54,142 --> 00:23:56,644
And then when she was, like,
in, like, ninth grade,
590
00:23:56,686 --> 00:23:58,980
I heard she had sex
for the first time.
591
00:23:59,022 --> 00:24:01,649
And I was like, wow.
I still haven't rung the bell.
592
00:24:01,691 --> 00:24:03,443
You know what I mean?
593
00:24:03,485 --> 00:24:05,820
[bell tolling]
594
00:24:05,862 --> 00:24:07,822
You remember
the three-check system?
595
00:24:07,864 --> 00:24:10,283
If you were talking in class,
you get a check.
596
00:24:10,325 --> 00:24:11,534
Like, an X mark.
597
00:24:11,576 --> 00:24:13,328
And I got three checks,
like, so many times
598
00:24:13,370 --> 00:24:14,913
because I just wouldn't
stop talking.
599
00:24:14,954 --> 00:24:16,122
- Yes.
- They taught us
600
00:24:16,164 --> 00:24:18,291
that God was watching us
at all times.
601
00:24:18,333 --> 00:24:20,960
And I thought, oh, I guess
he's watching me masturbate.
602
00:24:21,002 --> 00:24:22,837
And so I tried to cheat
to the camera,
603
00:24:22,879 --> 00:24:24,297
thinking if he happened
to be looking
604
00:24:24,339 --> 00:24:26,007
at the monitor at that moment,
he'd think,
605
00:24:26,049 --> 00:24:27,759
"I've seen a lot
of 12-year-olds masturbate,
606
00:24:27,801 --> 00:24:29,094
but this kid's good."
607
00:24:29,135 --> 00:24:30,970
[laughter]
608
00:24:31,012 --> 00:24:33,014
One of the misunderstood things
about comedians is,
609
00:24:33,056 --> 00:24:35,225
people always assume
they're the class clown.
610
00:24:35,266 --> 00:24:38,228
But I don't think
a majority are.
611
00:24:38,269 --> 00:24:39,979
- I don't ever remember
thinking, like,
612
00:24:40,021 --> 00:24:41,481
oh, he's funny, he's funny,
he's funny.
613
00:24:41,523 --> 00:24:43,525
Looking back on it...
614
00:24:43,566 --> 00:24:45,819
I'm sorry, but you were
not funny as a kid.
615
00:24:45,860 --> 00:24:47,529
[laughs]
- I get it. I get it.
616
00:24:47,570 --> 00:24:49,072
- Your brother was funny.
617
00:24:49,114 --> 00:24:50,990
- Your brother was hilarious.
- Yeah, Joe was very funny.
618
00:24:51,032 --> 00:24:52,492
- Yeah.
- Joe's hilarious.
619
00:24:52,534 --> 00:24:54,703
Growing up, when I would
say things that were kind of
620
00:24:54,744 --> 00:24:57,914
seemingly off-kilter
to my friends,
621
00:24:57,956 --> 00:25:01,501
I don't think it was
ever viewed as humorous.
622
00:25:01,543 --> 00:25:05,797
It was more viewed as just,
like, why are you saying this?
623
00:25:05,839 --> 00:25:08,466
[soft music]
624
00:25:08,508 --> 00:25:11,761
People would be
sort of confused.
625
00:25:11,803 --> 00:25:14,014
* *
626
00:25:14,055 --> 00:25:15,724
- This is first grade?
- This is first grade.
627
00:25:15,765 --> 00:25:17,559
- Yeah.
628
00:25:17,600 --> 00:25:19,310
- I mean, I have this now.
629
00:25:19,352 --> 00:25:21,271
If I say a thing
that I'm thinking,
630
00:25:21,312 --> 00:25:23,523
it's usually not
very well received.
631
00:25:23,565 --> 00:25:25,108
My sisters Gina and Patty,
632
00:25:25,150 --> 00:25:27,569
they were, like,
teacher's assistants.
633
00:25:27,610 --> 00:25:29,821
And when they walked in,
634
00:25:29,863 --> 00:25:32,574
they saw me
just being screamed at.
635
00:25:32,615 --> 00:25:34,909
Like, a teacher,
like, in my face.
636
00:25:34,951 --> 00:25:38,246
And Gina went home
and said to my mom,
637
00:25:38,288 --> 00:25:40,874
"Like, Mike's, like,
a pretty bad kid.
638
00:25:40,915 --> 00:25:42,417
"Like, he gets in trouble.
639
00:25:42,459 --> 00:25:44,502
Like, gets in trouble,
like, a lot."
640
00:25:44,544 --> 00:25:47,047
- There was one kid who used
to pick on you in this class.
641
00:25:47,088 --> 00:25:49,257
- Oh, yeah.
There was one time
642
00:25:49,299 --> 00:25:52,719
this guy was pushing me
on, like, the hill down here,
643
00:25:52,761 --> 00:25:54,929
and then Michael,
like, attacked him.
644
00:25:54,971 --> 00:25:57,724
You, like, slid-tackled him
or something.
645
00:25:57,766 --> 00:25:59,559
- Is that, like,
hard to think about?
646
00:25:59,601 --> 00:26:00,894
- [chuckles]
647
00:26:00,935 --> 00:26:02,062
- It's hard for me
to think about.
648
00:26:02,103 --> 00:26:03,772
It's always hard to know,
like, as a friend
649
00:26:03,813 --> 00:26:05,023
in that situation, right?
Like--
650
00:26:05,065 --> 00:26:06,649
- Yes.
- How do you step in?
651
00:26:06,691 --> 00:26:08,026
- Yeah.
652
00:26:08,068 --> 00:26:09,861
When I was in ninth grade,
653
00:26:09,903 --> 00:26:11,529
I went to this
all-boys Catholic school.
654
00:26:11,571 --> 00:26:13,698
- Saint John's?
- Saint John's. There you are.
655
00:26:13,740 --> 00:26:17,452
Joey Grigioni was
from Worcester.
656
00:26:17,494 --> 00:26:19,704
He loved to fight.
657
00:26:19,746 --> 00:26:22,290
One day,
I'm walking down the hill.
658
00:26:22,332 --> 00:26:25,335
And I feel
on the back of my head
659
00:26:25,377 --> 00:26:28,755
what seems like a rock
on my head.
660
00:26:28,797 --> 00:26:31,758
Turns out it was a fist.
661
00:26:31,800 --> 00:26:34,469
I forgot to mention,
Joey Grigioni
662
00:26:34,511 --> 00:26:36,638
has rock-like fists.
663
00:26:36,680 --> 00:26:40,600
And next thing I know,
I'm just on the ground.
664
00:26:40,642 --> 00:26:44,479
And I'm just getting pounded
in the back of my head.
665
00:26:44,521 --> 00:26:46,564
I didn't even run away
at first, you know?
666
00:26:46,606 --> 00:26:50,276
Like, it took me a few seconds
to just eventually be like,
667
00:26:50,318 --> 00:26:53,071
I guess I should leave here,
you know what I mean?
668
00:26:53,113 --> 00:26:56,825
Like, this conversation
is going terribly.
669
00:26:56,866 --> 00:27:00,954
It's only now, at age 44, that
any of this is funny at all.
670
00:27:00,995 --> 00:27:03,498
[laughter]
671
00:27:03,540 --> 00:27:06,042
[chuckles]
672
00:27:06,084 --> 00:27:09,212
* *
673
00:27:09,254 --> 00:27:11,172
- And then I just
threw in the towel.
674
00:27:11,214 --> 00:27:14,009
I go, you know, I'm just
gonna leave this school.
675
00:27:14,050 --> 00:27:16,469
And what was remarkable
is that no one tried
676
00:27:16,511 --> 00:27:17,804
to talk me out of it.
677
00:27:17,846 --> 00:27:20,098
Not a single grown-up
in my life.
678
00:27:20,140 --> 00:27:24,811
Not my teachers, my parents,
not my guidance counselor.
679
00:27:24,853 --> 00:27:26,813
Nobody said, "Stick with it.
680
00:27:26,855 --> 00:27:28,565
Don't let them get
the best of you."
681
00:27:28,606 --> 00:27:31,651
They knew that they had
gotten the best of me.
682
00:27:31,693 --> 00:27:35,989
Like, the best of me was gone.
683
00:27:36,031 --> 00:27:38,491
[laughter]
684
00:27:38,533 --> 00:27:41,536
So, at the end of the year,
I transferred schools.
685
00:27:41,578 --> 00:27:43,830
And the first few weeks
of school,
686
00:27:43,872 --> 00:27:45,331
you're getting to know people.
687
00:27:45,373 --> 00:27:47,000
And they say,
where are you from?
688
00:27:47,042 --> 00:27:48,335
What was your last school like?
689
00:27:48,376 --> 00:27:51,338
And I decided
to leave out the fact
690
00:27:51,379 --> 00:27:54,591
that I had been
beat up mercilessly
691
00:27:54,632 --> 00:27:56,092
in my previous school.
692
00:27:56,134 --> 00:27:59,054
And you know what?
They never found out.
693
00:27:59,095 --> 00:28:01,014
Because that's what
they don't teach you
694
00:28:01,056 --> 00:28:02,766
in those after-school specials.
695
00:28:02,807 --> 00:28:05,602
Running away works.
696
00:28:14,277 --> 00:28:16,363
- Who am I not telling
in the bullying story?
697
00:28:18,114 --> 00:28:20,533
- Oh, that's true.
That's a good point.
698
00:28:20,575 --> 00:28:22,702
Yeah.
699
00:28:22,744 --> 00:28:25,497
Yeah.
700
00:28:25,538 --> 00:28:28,875
Yeah, no. I didn't--
it didn't occur to me.
701
00:28:28,917 --> 00:28:30,669
[laughter]
702
00:28:30,710 --> 00:28:32,879
And that's the show.
Thanks a lot for coming.
703
00:28:32,921 --> 00:28:34,255
[cheers and applause]
704
00:28:34,297 --> 00:28:38,718
This has been the first week
705
00:28:38,760 --> 00:28:40,387
of the next show.
706
00:28:40,428 --> 00:28:42,847
So I was just happy
that the "running away works,"
707
00:28:42,889 --> 00:28:44,057
I got off the page.
708
00:28:44,099 --> 00:28:46,017
- I really like that line
of, like,
709
00:28:46,059 --> 00:28:47,394
"That's what
they don't teach you
710
00:28:47,435 --> 00:28:48,937
in the after-school specials."
711
00:28:48,978 --> 00:28:51,231
It's like, running away works.
- Yeah, running away works.
712
00:28:51,272 --> 00:28:53,066
I think for D.C.,
I'll try to memorize it.
713
00:28:53,108 --> 00:28:55,819
[cheers and applause]
714
00:28:55,860 --> 00:28:58,738
Also, like, just adding
the context of, like,
715
00:28:58,780 --> 00:29:01,032
being like, "I'm 44 now,
716
00:29:01,074 --> 00:29:03,910
and so it's funny."
717
00:29:03,952 --> 00:29:05,203
- Mm-hmm.
718
00:29:05,245 --> 00:29:06,496
- It's funnier now
than it was then.
719
00:29:06,538 --> 00:29:08,415
- Yeah.
- Like, it kind of gives
720
00:29:08,456 --> 00:29:10,208
the audience a pass to laugh.
721
00:29:10,250 --> 00:29:12,335
Great job this week, Gary.
It's our first week!
722
00:29:12,377 --> 00:29:15,296
[cheers and applause]
723
00:29:15,338 --> 00:29:18,466
[upbeat jazzy music]
724
00:29:18,508 --> 00:29:25,473
* *
725
00:29:32,772 --> 00:29:35,025
[indistinct chatter]
726
00:29:35,066 --> 00:29:38,111
[upbeat music]
727
00:29:38,153 --> 00:29:39,863
* *
728
00:29:39,904 --> 00:29:42,699
- This week I'm performing
in Washington, D.C.
729
00:29:42,741 --> 00:29:45,285
In Providence,
I was just throwing out jokes,
730
00:29:45,326 --> 00:29:47,746
seeing what sticks.
731
00:29:47,787 --> 00:29:49,873
This week
trying to put together
732
00:29:49,914 --> 00:29:53,626
runs of jokes
into what might be stories.
733
00:29:53,668 --> 00:29:56,171
* *
734
00:29:56,212 --> 00:29:59,132
Growing up,
my dad would be like, "Hush!
735
00:29:59,174 --> 00:30:00,884
Don't tell anyone."
736
00:30:00,925 --> 00:30:04,888
In a year or two, those stories
might become a show.
737
00:30:04,929 --> 00:30:06,931
When she was in ninth grade,
I heard she had sex
738
00:30:06,973 --> 00:30:08,475
for the first time.
739
00:30:08,516 --> 00:30:12,729
And I was like, wow.
I still haven't rung the bell.
740
00:30:12,771 --> 00:30:14,939
It's nice to be in D.C.
741
00:30:14,981 --> 00:30:17,150
The first time I did stand-up,
742
00:30:17,192 --> 00:30:19,736
I won a contest at Georgetown
743
00:30:19,778 --> 00:30:21,738
called The Funniest Person
on Campus.
744
00:30:21,780 --> 00:30:22,781
It was wild.
745
00:30:22,822 --> 00:30:24,449
It was hosted
by Victoria Jackson
746
00:30:24,491 --> 00:30:25,742
from "Saturday Night Live."
747
00:30:25,784 --> 00:30:27,410
I think it was probably
the first celebrity
748
00:30:27,452 --> 00:30:28,745
I ever met in my whole life.
749
00:30:28,787 --> 00:30:30,580
I couldn't believe
that she was at my college.
750
00:30:30,622 --> 00:30:32,749
[bell tolls]
751
00:30:32,791 --> 00:30:35,752
[light music]
752
00:30:35,794 --> 00:30:38,463
* *
753
00:30:38,505 --> 00:30:41,216
The idea that I would
just be performing
754
00:30:41,257 --> 00:30:45,512
in a 600-seat theater
was just shocking.
755
00:30:45,553 --> 00:30:48,682
[cheers and applause]
756
00:30:48,723 --> 00:30:50,725
Like, I think maybe
it was a standing ovation.
757
00:30:50,767 --> 00:30:53,436
Like, it was, like,
pretty big.
758
00:30:53,478 --> 00:30:55,271
Funniest Person
on Campus contest
759
00:30:55,313 --> 00:30:56,940
was when I met Nick Kroll,
760
00:30:56,981 --> 00:30:59,359
because he entered also.
761
00:30:59,401 --> 00:31:00,944
It was a really fluky thing
762
00:31:00,985 --> 00:31:03,613
that a bunch of comedians
came from this school,
763
00:31:03,655 --> 00:31:05,365
because it's, like,
not a funny school.
764
00:31:05,407 --> 00:31:08,660
Just a very serious place.
765
00:31:08,702 --> 00:31:10,787
I never even clocked,
really, the idea
766
00:31:10,829 --> 00:31:13,540
that I was doing comedy
in this very,
767
00:31:13,581 --> 00:31:16,584
like, almost,
like, religious hall.
768
00:31:18,545 --> 00:31:20,964
I auditioned
for the improv group,
769
00:31:21,006 --> 00:31:22,215
and I got in.
770
00:31:22,257 --> 00:31:24,050
And it was, like--
it was a long shot.
771
00:31:24,092 --> 00:31:26,761
Like, I think, like,
50 or 100 people auditioned.
772
00:31:28,430 --> 00:31:30,807
And then all of a sudden,
I was friends
773
00:31:30,849 --> 00:31:32,809
with these ten
hilarious people
774
00:31:32,851 --> 00:31:35,186
who were funnier than anyone
I had met in my whole life.
775
00:31:35,228 --> 00:31:36,896
And I was like, oh, OK.
776
00:31:36,938 --> 00:31:39,607
I guess this is--
I guess these people exist.
777
00:31:39,649 --> 00:31:40,859
And it was very eye-opening.
778
00:31:40,900 --> 00:31:43,653
It made me feel
a certain sense of hope,
779
00:31:43,695 --> 00:31:45,572
that, like, I found my people
780
00:31:45,613 --> 00:31:49,034
and, like, that what I thought
was funny about me,
781
00:31:49,075 --> 00:31:50,702
they thought was funny
about me.
782
00:31:50,744 --> 00:31:53,997
And that was, like, a huge
breakthrough in my life.
783
00:31:54,039 --> 00:32:00,045
* *
784
00:32:00,086 --> 00:32:02,464
Victoria Jackson said to me...
785
00:32:02,505 --> 00:32:04,674
[high-pitched voice]
"You're gonna be a comedian."
786
00:32:04,716 --> 00:32:06,676
[normal voice]
She had a very high voice.
787
00:32:06,718 --> 00:32:09,679
I actually did think, like,
maybe she's right.
788
00:32:09,721 --> 00:32:11,639
I got $200
and the chance to perform
789
00:32:11,681 --> 00:32:13,600
at the Washington, D.C.
Improv, which is, like,
790
00:32:13,641 --> 00:32:16,686
not only the best comedy club
in Washington,
791
00:32:16,728 --> 00:32:19,481
top five, top ten comedy clubs
in the country.
792
00:32:19,522 --> 00:32:22,442
[rockabilly music]
793
00:32:22,484 --> 00:32:25,153
* *
794
00:32:25,195 --> 00:32:27,197
[car horn honking]
795
00:32:27,238 --> 00:32:34,412
* *
796
00:32:40,835 --> 00:32:43,088
- I want you to get
your hands together right now
797
00:32:43,129 --> 00:32:46,132
for Mike Birbiglia.
798
00:32:46,174 --> 00:32:48,510
Whoo!
[cheers and applause]
799
00:32:48,551 --> 00:32:50,053
- Thanks, Gary.
Appreciate it.
800
00:32:50,095 --> 00:32:52,597
Gary Simons, everybody.
801
00:32:52,639 --> 00:32:55,141
I went, and I opened
for Dave Chappelle.
802
00:32:55,183 --> 00:32:56,685
Nice to see everybody.
803
00:32:56,726 --> 00:32:59,020
I said,
"Can I perform here again?"
804
00:32:59,062 --> 00:33:01,731
I thought to myself,
I just need stage time.
805
00:33:01,773 --> 00:33:03,983
And they said,
"We don't need that.
806
00:33:04,025 --> 00:33:06,528
But we need someone
to work the door."
807
00:33:06,569 --> 00:33:07,654
So I go, "I'll do that."
808
00:33:07,696 --> 00:33:09,531
I worked here at the door.
809
00:33:09,572 --> 00:33:11,908
I used to seat people
down here.
810
00:33:11,950 --> 00:33:13,576
The worst was,
you have to sometimes
811
00:33:13,618 --> 00:33:15,328
seat people behind these poles.
812
00:33:15,370 --> 00:33:18,540
For example, like, you have
those seats behind the poles.
813
00:33:18,581 --> 00:33:20,625
Right.
No, and I'm sorry.
814
00:33:20,667 --> 00:33:23,628
I would bring, you know, people
with the menus.
815
00:33:23,670 --> 00:33:25,505
And then I would jog away.
816
00:33:25,547 --> 00:33:26,965
As an aspiring comic,
817
00:33:27,007 --> 00:33:28,967
you get to watch
a lot of shows for free.
818
00:33:29,009 --> 00:33:32,554
I was able to watch, like,
George Lopez and Mitch Hedberg
819
00:33:32,595 --> 00:33:34,264
and Lewis Black
and all these people who...
820
00:33:34,305 --> 00:33:35,974
- Yeah.
- like, I would have loved
821
00:33:36,016 --> 00:33:38,101
to have seen,
but I couldn't afford it.
822
00:33:38,143 --> 00:33:39,436
Started off here when I was 19.
823
00:33:39,477 --> 00:33:41,229
And I was, like,
an observational comic.
824
00:33:41,271 --> 00:33:43,940
Like, the kinds of jokes
that I would say would be like,
825
00:33:43,982 --> 00:33:46,359
I would hate to be
a stick insect, you know,
826
00:33:46,401 --> 00:33:49,029
'cause all the other insects
are always bumping into you.
827
00:33:49,070 --> 00:33:51,281
And that's the whole joke.
828
00:33:51,322 --> 00:33:53,658
That would be my act.
829
00:33:53,700 --> 00:33:57,871
The first time I told
a joke that worked, I said,
830
00:33:57,912 --> 00:34:00,665
"My girlfriend
is getting to the age
831
00:34:00,707 --> 00:34:03,835
"where she's thinking
about having kids,
832
00:34:03,877 --> 00:34:06,796
which is exciting 'cause we're
gonna have to break up."
833
00:34:06,838 --> 00:34:08,465
And I said,
"I don't want to have kids
834
00:34:08,506 --> 00:34:10,425
"until I'm sure
nothing else good
835
00:34:10,467 --> 00:34:12,135
can happen in my life."
836
00:34:12,177 --> 00:34:14,554
It was like
an inflection point.
837
00:34:14,596 --> 00:34:16,598
Not because
the joke is so great,
838
00:34:16,639 --> 00:34:20,477
but because it was the moment
where I realized
839
00:34:20,518 --> 00:34:23,146
that telling an honest truth
840
00:34:23,188 --> 00:34:25,732
about how I felt...
841
00:34:25,774 --> 00:34:29,652
connected with a group
of people in a room.
842
00:34:29,694 --> 00:34:32,322
Like, there was
a feeling of like,
843
00:34:32,364 --> 00:34:36,034
oh, they get me,
and I get them...
844
00:34:36,076 --> 00:34:39,537
in a way that, like,
an observational joke
845
00:34:39,579 --> 00:34:42,123
about insects
or something doesn't.
846
00:34:42,165 --> 00:34:45,710
I opened for George Lopez once,
and I kind of, like, bombed.
847
00:34:45,752 --> 00:34:48,505
I was, like, up here,
and it, like, didn't go great.
848
00:34:48,546 --> 00:34:49,964
At the time, I was living
with my girlfriend.
849
00:34:50,006 --> 00:34:51,925
We'd watch Oprah
every day together.
850
00:34:51,966 --> 00:34:54,719
We were like Oprah soldiers.
We were, like, super into it.
851
00:34:54,761 --> 00:34:56,638
Like, all about it.
We're in the book club.
852
00:34:56,680 --> 00:34:57,847
You know what I mean?
853
00:34:57,889 --> 00:35:00,558
Like, we're just, like,
full-on Oprah.
854
00:35:00,600 --> 00:35:02,769
But the thing that always
struck me as really funny
855
00:35:02,811 --> 00:35:05,438
was that her song
at the beginning of her show
856
00:35:05,480 --> 00:35:07,357
is, like--the song
that was like...
857
00:35:07,399 --> 00:35:09,818
* Run on, run on *
858
00:35:09,859 --> 00:35:12,779
And my joke was, like,
I don't think Oprah runs a lot.
859
00:35:12,821 --> 00:35:15,115
And...
860
00:35:17,075 --> 00:35:20,537
And this is not a joke
I would ever tell now,
861
00:35:20,578 --> 00:35:24,416
other than right now
into a microphone
862
00:35:24,457 --> 00:35:26,835
in front of a group
of strangers.
863
00:35:26,876 --> 00:35:28,878
I go backstage,
and I say to George Lopez,
864
00:35:28,920 --> 00:35:31,798
"Hey, do you have any,
like, critical feedback?"
865
00:35:31,840 --> 00:35:35,635
And he goes, "I wouldn't open
with a thing about Oprah"...
866
00:35:38,179 --> 00:35:40,890
"'Cause they love Oprah,
867
00:35:40,932 --> 00:35:43,518
and they don't know
who the hell you are."
868
00:35:43,560 --> 00:35:46,396
[soft upbeat music]
869
00:35:46,438 --> 00:35:48,898
He goes, "You know, you should
make fun of yourself
870
00:35:48,940 --> 00:35:50,525
"before you make fun
of other people,
871
00:35:50,567 --> 00:35:52,402
"because then you have
a relationship
872
00:35:52,444 --> 00:35:53,737
with the audience."
873
00:35:53,778 --> 00:35:56,031
It's stuck to me
to this very day.
874
00:35:56,072 --> 00:36:02,787
* *
875
00:36:07,834 --> 00:36:09,753
- That's my time.
Thank you very much.
876
00:36:09,794 --> 00:36:13,006
Let's give it up
for Mike Birbiglia.
877
00:36:13,048 --> 00:36:14,591
Whoo!
[cheers and applause]
878
00:36:14,632 --> 00:36:15,842
- Thanks, Gary.
879
00:36:15,884 --> 00:36:17,552
Gary Simons, everybody.
880
00:36:17,594 --> 00:36:20,388
- I've been really grateful
to be able to do these shows
881
00:36:20,430 --> 00:36:22,140
and, like, learn from each one.
882
00:36:22,182 --> 00:36:24,309
- You're killing, man.
You're doing great.
883
00:36:24,351 --> 00:36:26,269
- Thank you.
- It's exciting.
884
00:36:26,311 --> 00:36:29,564
[upbeat music]
885
00:36:29,606 --> 00:36:31,566
- Mike Birbiglia is
one of those dudes
886
00:36:31,608 --> 00:36:36,071
that truly loves
the art form of comedy.
887
00:36:36,112 --> 00:36:40,200
The people that he's touched--
myself, Kroll, Mulaney--
888
00:36:40,241 --> 00:36:41,868
we're all so different,
889
00:36:41,910 --> 00:36:43,995
but it is his love of comedy,
890
00:36:44,037 --> 00:36:48,958
his desire to help mentor.
891
00:36:49,000 --> 00:36:51,670
- My favorite comedians
who are coming up,
892
00:36:51,711 --> 00:36:54,756
like Hasan Minhaj
and Atsuko Okatsuka,
893
00:36:54,798 --> 00:36:56,591
I love that they tell
personal stories.
894
00:36:56,633 --> 00:37:00,428
And usually, like, I love
when their stories
895
00:37:00,470 --> 00:37:02,389
are completely different
from mine.
896
00:37:02,430 --> 00:37:03,807
- Trippy!
- Ah!
897
00:37:03,848 --> 00:37:05,517
Look what you've done.
898
00:37:05,558 --> 00:37:08,228
[upbeat music]
899
00:37:08,269 --> 00:37:09,312
[gagging]
900
00:37:09,354 --> 00:37:10,855
I had already done stand-up
901
00:37:10,897 --> 00:37:12,982
for maybe, like, 11 years.
902
00:37:13,024 --> 00:37:14,901
And my stand-up, you know,
not bad, you know.
903
00:37:14,943 --> 00:37:16,820
But it wasn't gonna be
life-changing.
904
00:37:16,861 --> 00:37:18,488
It was definitely
during the pandemic,
905
00:37:18,530 --> 00:37:21,074
when there was just, like,
a general big sadness,
906
00:37:21,116 --> 00:37:22,617
I turned inward.
907
00:37:24,661 --> 00:37:26,955
I didn't want people
to feel sad.
908
00:37:29,207 --> 00:37:32,043
I started writing
more about things
909
00:37:32,085 --> 00:37:34,587
that was hard for me
to talk about before,
910
00:37:34,629 --> 00:37:36,256
like my mom's mental illness.
911
00:37:36,297 --> 00:37:38,925
The truth is,
my mom has schizophrenia...
912
00:37:38,967 --> 00:37:40,844
I never talked about it
before the pandemic.
913
00:37:40,885 --> 00:37:43,013
Which means she hears
voices in her head
914
00:37:43,054 --> 00:37:45,140
and she hallucinates a lot.
915
00:37:45,181 --> 00:37:47,767
And also, I started talking
to my fans more
916
00:37:47,809 --> 00:37:50,812
and making more videos
with my family...
917
00:37:50,854 --> 00:37:54,149
because it was a mood lifter
for all of us.
918
00:37:54,190 --> 00:37:58,194
So those dance videos
that went viral...
919
00:37:58,236 --> 00:38:01,114
and the drop challenge
that went viral,
920
00:38:01,156 --> 00:38:03,575
that was all, you know,
me running from trauma.
921
00:38:03,616 --> 00:38:06,119
You know?
[laughs]
922
00:38:06,161 --> 00:38:08,788
Mike found me
on one of those videos.
923
00:38:08,830 --> 00:38:10,999
[elevator bell dings]
924
00:38:11,041 --> 00:38:13,043
And then he DM'd me
and was like,
925
00:38:13,084 --> 00:38:14,627
"Would you want to be
on my podcast?"
926
00:38:14,669 --> 00:38:18,089
There is a show in Vegas called
"The Puppetry of the Penis."
927
00:38:18,131 --> 00:38:19,758
- Yes, there is.
- Have you seen it?
928
00:38:19,799 --> 00:38:20,967
- I've seen it. It's...
929
00:38:21,009 --> 00:38:22,344
- You've seen it!
- Bizarre.
930
00:38:22,385 --> 00:38:24,637
- After that, he asked me
to open for him.
931
00:38:24,679 --> 00:38:28,475
* *
932
00:38:28,516 --> 00:38:29,934
Just so cool, you know?
933
00:38:31,353 --> 00:38:33,855
He's the one that told me
to get on TikTok.
934
00:38:33,897 --> 00:38:36,399
We don't need to talk age,
but he is older than me.
935
00:38:36,441 --> 00:38:38,860
He's 400 years old.
936
00:38:39,819 --> 00:38:41,363
I'm hip.
937
00:38:41,404 --> 00:38:43,740
My clothes, trendy.
938
00:38:43,782 --> 00:38:46,326
You're telling me
I need to be on TikTok?
939
00:38:46,368 --> 00:38:50,121
And he's like, "Well, I mean,
do you want to be forgotten?"
940
00:38:50,163 --> 00:38:52,457
- Atsuko, like, she started
coming on the road with me
941
00:38:52,499 --> 00:38:53,875
and opening for me.
942
00:38:53,917 --> 00:38:57,087
And at one point,
I said to her, like,
943
00:38:57,128 --> 00:38:59,839
like, what's the strangest
thing that's happened
944
00:38:59,881 --> 00:39:01,508
in the last few years?
945
00:39:01,549 --> 00:39:02,842
And she told me...
946
00:39:02,884 --> 00:39:04,844
- About this intruder
that came to our house
947
00:39:04,886 --> 00:39:06,179
three times in the same day.
948
00:39:06,221 --> 00:39:09,140
I was already touring
with my hour at that time.
949
00:39:09,182 --> 00:39:11,101
And I was like,
I want to figure out
950
00:39:11,142 --> 00:39:14,521
a way to put this
intruder story into the hour.
951
00:39:14,562 --> 00:39:15,730
But I don't know how.
952
00:39:15,772 --> 00:39:17,023
- And I was like,
wow, this is great.
953
00:39:17,065 --> 00:39:18,316
It's a great story.
954
00:39:18,358 --> 00:39:20,151
- And he was like,
"He came to your house
955
00:39:20,193 --> 00:39:22,654
"three times in the same day.
956
00:39:22,696 --> 00:39:23,947
That's three acts."
957
00:39:23,988 --> 00:39:26,116
- That's not just a joke.
That's a whole show.
958
00:39:26,157 --> 00:39:29,077
- I was really excited
but a little scared,
959
00:39:29,119 --> 00:39:31,538
'cause I was like,
well, I've been doing an hour
960
00:39:31,579 --> 00:39:34,207
that I know works.
961
00:39:34,249 --> 00:39:37,085
But I want
this intruder story in there.
962
00:39:37,127 --> 00:39:39,462
Oh, this is gonna be
so much more work, Mike.
963
00:39:39,504 --> 00:39:40,797
OK, I'll do it.
964
00:39:40,839 --> 00:39:44,884
[rock music]
965
00:39:44,926 --> 00:39:46,469
And then he got
really excited.
966
00:39:46,511 --> 00:39:49,347
He loves process.
He loves jokes and stories.
967
00:39:49,389 --> 00:39:51,349
And so he was like,
"OK, let's sit down."
968
00:39:51,391 --> 00:39:53,143
And he took out
his note cards.
969
00:39:53,184 --> 00:39:56,062
And he was like, "OK,
so act one is first intrusion,
970
00:39:56,104 --> 00:39:57,939
second intrusion,
third intrusion."
971
00:39:57,981 --> 00:40:04,404
* *
972
00:40:04,446 --> 00:40:07,323
If you were to tell
a younger me that as an adult,
973
00:40:07,365 --> 00:40:09,909
I would have
an HBO stand-up special,
974
00:40:09,951 --> 00:40:11,619
I'd be like...
975
00:40:11,661 --> 00:40:13,413
yeah, that sounds about right.
976
00:40:13,455 --> 00:40:14,956
No, I'm just kidding.
I'd be like, "What's HBO?
977
00:40:14,998 --> 00:40:16,124
We don't have cable."
978
00:40:23,340 --> 00:40:25,592
So our landlord
had an intruder.
979
00:40:25,633 --> 00:40:29,304
That's what he's so good at,
having an arc in his shows.
980
00:40:29,346 --> 00:40:31,431
- I used to write everything
down on the computer,
981
00:40:31,473 --> 00:40:33,016
and I actually found
982
00:40:33,058 --> 00:40:35,268
there was value to writing
it out longhand first.
983
00:40:35,310 --> 00:40:37,312
When you think
you have a funny idea
984
00:40:37,354 --> 00:40:39,689
and you type it into
the computer, it goes so fast.
985
00:40:39,731 --> 00:40:42,275
When you think of an idea and
you're writing it out longhand,
986
00:40:42,317 --> 00:40:44,277
about halfway through
a lot of times,
987
00:40:44,319 --> 00:40:46,112
you realize, oh, this stinks.
988
00:40:46,154 --> 00:40:49,741
And I did learn that from Mike.
989
00:40:49,783 --> 00:40:52,285
- It's this weird thing where
I'm not just looking to him
990
00:40:52,327 --> 00:40:54,746
for advice, but I'm also
looking for him
991
00:40:54,788 --> 00:40:57,582
for some form of therapy,
I guess.
992
00:40:57,624 --> 00:40:59,250
- I'm aging into a point
993
00:40:59,292 --> 00:41:01,294
where I'm starting to be
a mentor to people,
994
00:41:01,336 --> 00:41:03,713
which I don't think I ever
thought I was gonna do.
995
00:41:03,755 --> 00:41:05,090
But sometimes
that just happens.
996
00:41:05,131 --> 00:41:06,591
You age.
[laughs]
997
00:41:06,633 --> 00:41:09,969
And--but it was helpful for me
to be a student first,
998
00:41:10,011 --> 00:41:11,513
to understand, like,
what that is and what--
999
00:41:11,554 --> 00:41:13,556
as a student,
what you need from a mentor.
1000
00:41:13,598 --> 00:41:15,475
You don't want it
to be pretty good.
1001
00:41:15,517 --> 00:41:17,268
You want it to be great.
1002
00:41:17,310 --> 00:41:19,771
And the only way
you can make it great
1003
00:41:19,813 --> 00:41:21,690
is writing, failing,
getting feedback.
1004
00:41:21,731 --> 00:41:22,982
Need more there.
1005
00:41:23,024 --> 00:41:24,776
Writing again, failing again.
1006
00:41:24,818 --> 00:41:26,152
I'll take out that line.
1007
00:41:26,194 --> 00:41:28,947
The story peaked
a little early.
1008
00:41:28,988 --> 00:41:30,323
Getting more feedback...
1009
00:41:30,365 --> 00:41:31,866
[cheering]
I don't know why.
1010
00:41:31,908 --> 00:41:33,535
The ending worked well
in the other show.
1011
00:41:33,576 --> 00:41:36,996
Is the only way
that people get better.
1012
00:41:37,038 --> 00:41:38,665
That's what
they don't teach you
1013
00:41:38,707 --> 00:41:40,000
in the after-school specials.
1014
00:41:40,041 --> 00:41:42,877
Sometimes running away works.
1015
00:41:42,919 --> 00:41:44,504
Eventually, if you're lucky,
1016
00:41:44,546 --> 00:41:46,923
you'll arrive at something
that is yours.
1017
00:41:46,965 --> 00:41:48,508
Last night was
the first time I thought,
1018
00:41:48,550 --> 00:41:51,011
the "getting beat up" story,
I think,
1019
00:41:51,052 --> 00:41:53,096
will probably be
in the next show.
1020
00:41:53,138 --> 00:41:55,015
This seems promising.
1021
00:41:55,056 --> 00:41:56,433
[applause]
1022
00:41:56,474 --> 00:41:57,851
Thank you.
1023
00:41:57,892 --> 00:41:59,978
Thanks for having me.
1024
00:42:05,525 --> 00:42:08,486
[light music]
1025
00:42:08,528 --> 00:42:10,321
* *
1026
00:42:10,363 --> 00:42:13,366
- In some ways, stand-up
comedy is like a documentary
1027
00:42:13,408 --> 00:42:15,118
of your own life, right?
1028
00:42:15,160 --> 00:42:17,370
In most documentaries,
they shoot
1029
00:42:17,412 --> 00:42:18,830
and they shoot and they shoot.
1030
00:42:18,872 --> 00:42:22,167
And then eventually
something happens.
1031
00:42:22,208 --> 00:42:25,253
And we go, oh,
that's what it's about.
1032
00:42:25,295 --> 00:42:28,381
It all hinges on,
there has to be a main event.
1033
00:42:28,423 --> 00:42:29,758
- Mm-hmm.
1034
00:42:29,799 --> 00:42:31,718
- I don't know what
the main event is of this yet.
1035
00:42:31,760 --> 00:42:34,763
* *
1036
00:42:34,804 --> 00:42:37,640
Once every three weeks,
our dad will call me.
1037
00:42:37,682 --> 00:42:40,560
He'll go, "Mike,
the craziest thing happened."
1038
00:42:40,602 --> 00:42:41,686
I'll go, "What?"
1039
00:42:41,728 --> 00:42:44,189
He goes, "I was
at the hardware store...
1040
00:42:44,230 --> 00:42:46,232
And someone had heard of you."
1041
00:42:46,274 --> 00:42:47,776
And I was like,
1042
00:42:47,817 --> 00:42:51,654
"I don't know if that's,
like, the craziest thing."
1043
00:42:51,696 --> 00:42:53,156
- He does say that a lot.
1044
00:42:53,198 --> 00:42:54,574
- The craziest thing.
1045
00:42:54,616 --> 00:42:56,159
- [laughs]
- Like, I think,
1046
00:42:56,201 --> 00:42:58,536
the least believable part
of that story
1047
00:42:58,578 --> 00:43:01,706
is that you were
at a hardware store.
1048
00:43:01,748 --> 00:43:05,377
Dude, the whole job is,
you tell jokes to strangers.
1049
00:43:05,418 --> 00:43:07,128
Eventually some of
the strangers are gonna see it.
1050
00:43:07,170 --> 00:43:08,838
- [laughs]
1051
00:43:08,880 --> 00:43:11,675
- Our father did tell me once,
one job he would have liked
1052
00:43:11,716 --> 00:43:13,510
would have been to be a writer
for "Saturday Night Live."
1053
00:43:13,551 --> 00:43:15,095
- No.
- He said that?
1054
00:43:15,136 --> 00:43:16,471
- Yeah.
- I can't even see him
1055
00:43:16,513 --> 00:43:18,056
saying that or watching it.
1056
00:43:18,098 --> 00:43:20,016
- That is absurd.
- Isn't that unusual?
1057
00:43:20,058 --> 00:43:21,184
- That is so strange.
1058
00:43:21,226 --> 00:43:22,936
- Seems out
of character, right?
1059
00:43:22,977 --> 00:43:24,562
- Right.
- Joe gets the juice.
1060
00:43:24,604 --> 00:43:25,897
- [laughs]
1061
00:43:25,939 --> 00:43:28,108
- My brother Joe was talking
to my dad, who's 83.
1062
00:43:28,149 --> 00:43:29,776
He was a doctor,
went to law school,
1063
00:43:29,818 --> 00:43:32,320
never wanted me and Joe
to go into comedy at all.
1064
00:43:32,362 --> 00:43:33,613
- Mm-hmm.
- And he said,
1065
00:43:33,655 --> 00:43:35,532
"I thought,
for a period of time,
1066
00:43:35,573 --> 00:43:37,951
that I could write
for 'Saturday Night Live.'"
1067
00:43:37,992 --> 00:43:39,035
- Really?
- Yeah.
1068
00:43:39,077 --> 00:43:40,161
- Was your dad funny?
1069
00:43:40,203 --> 00:43:42,372
- My dad is very dry.
1070
00:43:42,414 --> 00:43:44,624
And my mom is
a great storyteller.
1071
00:43:44,666 --> 00:43:45,625
- Hmm.
1072
00:43:45,667 --> 00:43:47,043
Have you ever heard
of the thing
1073
00:43:47,085 --> 00:43:50,547
that Rilke says,
how children dance
1074
00:43:50,588 --> 00:43:52,590
to the unlived lives
of their parents?
1075
00:43:52,632 --> 00:43:54,384
- Oh.
1076
00:43:54,426 --> 00:43:56,845
Going to Shrewsbury this week,
1077
00:43:56,886 --> 00:43:59,556
Dad, of course, wanted to know,
"Who did you run into?"
1078
00:43:59,597 --> 00:44:01,391
- Yeah. [laughs]
- "Who did you see?"
1079
00:44:01,433 --> 00:44:05,729
And then you go,
"Mrs. Gazik, Mrs. McCann."
1080
00:44:05,770 --> 00:44:10,233
"Well, did they say
anything about me?"
1081
00:44:10,275 --> 00:44:11,735
- They wanted to know
if you were alive.
1082
00:44:11,776 --> 00:44:13,903
- Yeah, they wanted to know
if you were alive.
1083
00:44:13,945 --> 00:44:16,072
Exactly.
That's exac--yeah.
1084
00:44:16,114 --> 00:44:19,743
Yes.
I answered that you were alive.
1085
00:44:19,784 --> 00:44:22,704
[light guitar music]
1086
00:44:22,746 --> 00:44:26,583
In my 20s and 30s,
as a comedian,
1087
00:44:26,624 --> 00:44:28,710
I feel like I have
so many judgments
1088
00:44:28,752 --> 00:44:31,296
in my act of my parents.
1089
00:44:31,338 --> 00:44:34,507
And I think as I get older
and they get older,
1090
00:44:34,549 --> 00:44:36,551
they're in their 80s,
and I'm just like--
1091
00:44:36,593 --> 00:44:39,262
it's like, what was I doing?
1092
00:44:39,304 --> 00:44:41,389
When I see our childhood home,
1093
00:44:41,431 --> 00:44:44,184
like, it definitely brings me
to, oh, yeah,
1094
00:44:44,225 --> 00:44:47,395
like, they were just parents
just, like, trying their best.
1095
00:44:47,437 --> 00:44:48,688
- That's right.
1096
00:44:48,730 --> 00:44:51,775
* *
1097
00:44:51,816 --> 00:44:54,903
- So it's like, maybe that's
what the next show is about.
1098
00:44:54,944 --> 00:44:56,363
- Mm-hmm.
1099
00:44:56,404 --> 00:44:58,782
- I don't know how literally
any one of those jokes
1100
00:44:58,823 --> 00:44:59,991
supports that idea.
1101
00:45:00,033 --> 00:45:01,659
- [laughs]
- But it could.
1102
00:45:01,701 --> 00:45:05,205
* *
1103
00:45:05,246 --> 00:45:07,457
It's like, the reason I don't
know what the show is about
1104
00:45:07,499 --> 00:45:09,209
is, I don't know
what will happen
1105
00:45:09,250 --> 00:45:10,752
in the next three
or four years.
1106
00:45:10,794 --> 00:45:14,798
* *
1107
00:45:14,839 --> 00:45:17,717
So it's like,
you know, God forbid,
1108
00:45:17,759 --> 00:45:21,012
someone close to me dies
or any number of things
1109
00:45:21,054 --> 00:45:25,266
that I'm anxious about
at all times could occur.
1110
00:45:25,308 --> 00:45:27,477
And I'd say, most likely,
1111
00:45:27,519 --> 00:45:30,772
that's what the show ends up
being about.
1112
00:45:30,814 --> 00:45:32,315
It's just a doozy.
1113
00:45:32,357 --> 00:45:36,403
Being an autobiographical
comedian is not--
1114
00:45:36,444 --> 00:45:39,656
it's not advisable.
1115
00:45:41,366 --> 00:45:45,078
But also, it's my favorite
type of comedy.
1116
00:45:45,120 --> 00:45:46,496
[chuckles]
1117
00:45:46,538 --> 00:45:48,665
That's all for me.
[cheers and applause]
1118
00:45:48,707 --> 00:45:51,334
Thank you so much.
Thanks for being here.
1119
00:45:51,376 --> 00:45:53,294
I'll see you next time,
everybody.
1120
00:45:53,336 --> 00:45:56,256
[upbeat music]
1121
00:45:56,297 --> 00:46:00,176
* *
1122
00:46:00,218 --> 00:46:01,511
Still rolling?
Speeding?
1123
00:46:01,553 --> 00:46:03,013
Save it for the camera.
- You save it.
1124
00:46:03,054 --> 00:46:04,639
- What was it like?
- Save it for the camera.
1125
00:46:04,681 --> 00:46:06,141
- OK. All right.
- That's more interesting
1126
00:46:06,182 --> 00:46:07,434
than what I have to say.
1127
00:46:07,475 --> 00:46:09,519
- Sister Margaret walked
into our classroom.
1128
00:46:09,561 --> 00:46:11,396
And she was like,
"Boys and girls,
1129
00:46:11,438 --> 00:46:13,523
"I'm hearing something
on the playground.
1130
00:46:13,565 --> 00:46:15,608
I'm hearing a word."
- [laughs]
1131
00:46:15,650 --> 00:46:18,194
- "And that word is 'fuck.'"
- Oh, my God. Wow.
1132
00:46:18,236 --> 00:46:20,697
"What happened
to that one joke?"
1133
00:46:20,739 --> 00:46:24,117
The reason it's gone
is because of you.
1134
00:46:24,159 --> 00:46:25,368
- You know, the thing
1135
00:46:25,410 --> 00:46:27,412
that always impresses me
the most about Mike
1136
00:46:27,454 --> 00:46:29,539
is how much thought he puts
into his clothes.
1137
00:46:29,581 --> 00:46:31,374
When he walks out onstage,
you think,
1138
00:46:31,416 --> 00:46:33,376
oh, maybe one day
I'll hit it big enough
1139
00:46:33,418 --> 00:46:37,422
to have whoever
his personal shopper is.
1140
00:46:37,464 --> 00:46:39,049
- Pretty much everything
I'm saying
1141
00:46:39,090 --> 00:46:40,925
makes me uncomfortable.
1142
00:46:40,967 --> 00:46:42,469
- Yay, good job, everyone.
80025
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