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1
00:00:01,906 --> 00:00:04,575
Son. Why have you been
eating my Fruity Puffs?
2
00:00:05,438 --> 00:00:07,188
What Fruity Puffs?
3
00:00:07,213 --> 00:00:09,845
Mom doesn't let you have
those sugar cereals anymore.
4
00:00:09,870 --> 00:00:11,353
"Let me have"?
5
00:00:11,451 --> 00:00:13,824
Nobody lets me have anything.
6
00:00:13,849 --> 00:00:15,571
I'm not scared of your mama.
7
00:00:15,595 --> 00:00:17,133
Okay. Well, I didn't
see any Fruity Puffs
8
00:00:17,158 --> 00:00:19,870
- in that cabinet.
- I know, 'cause I hid 'em here.
9
00:00:22,287 --> 00:00:25,148
Okay, I see. S-So Mom's going
out of town for the weekend,
10
00:00:25,173 --> 00:00:27,386
you just gonna do whatever
you want to, huh?
11
00:00:27,411 --> 00:00:28,930
You know, son, you don't understand
12
00:00:28,955 --> 00:00:30,806
what it's like to be
the man of the house.
13
00:00:30,831 --> 00:00:32,156
You're always worried
14
00:00:32,181 --> 00:00:33,195
about other people's needs.
15
00:00:33,220 --> 00:00:35,080
It's never really about you.
16
00:00:35,500 --> 00:00:38,130
But with your mother going
to Vegas overnight,
17
00:00:38,155 --> 00:00:42,724
the rest of this weekend
is about me and only me.
18
00:00:42,749 --> 00:00:44,996
Well, excuse me, Pop,
19
00:00:45,021 --> 00:00:47,657
- but I will still be here.
- Yeah.
20
00:00:47,865 --> 00:00:49,781
But I don't care about your needs.
21
00:00:50,445 --> 00:00:52,810
- Calvin!
- Mm.
22
00:00:52,835 --> 00:00:54,695
Yeah, babe.
23
00:00:54,720 --> 00:00:56,220
Hey, baby. Can you do me a favor
24
00:00:56,245 --> 00:00:58,297
- and take these to the car?
- Damn, Tina.
25
00:00:58,322 --> 00:00:59,571
You're only going away for one night.
26
00:00:59,596 --> 00:01:00,961
Why do you need three bags?
27
00:01:01,765 --> 00:01:03,362
Well, this one is for my clothes,
28
00:01:03,387 --> 00:01:05,031
this one is for hair and makeup,
29
00:01:05,056 --> 00:01:06,288
and this one is empty.
30
00:01:06,313 --> 00:01:08,254
Mama's going shopping.
31
00:01:09,711 --> 00:01:12,700
And what else do you and Gemma
have planned for Vegas?
32
00:01:13,106 --> 00:01:15,778
Baby, how about you don't
ask me about my plans,
33
00:01:15,803 --> 00:01:18,220
and I won't ask you about
that box of Fruity Puffs
34
00:01:18,245 --> 00:01:20,367
that you got hiding
behind my cookbooks.
35
00:01:22,399 --> 00:01:24,177
- Have a great trip.
- Okay.
36
00:01:25,159 --> 00:01:26,739
I'm so excited!
37
00:01:26,764 --> 00:01:28,756
Tina and I are gonna have so much fun.
38
00:01:28,781 --> 00:01:30,861
I know, your first girls' trip.
39
00:01:30,976 --> 00:01:32,390
Man, I wish I could go.
40
00:01:32,860 --> 00:01:34,489
Okay, but then it wouldn't be
41
00:01:34,514 --> 00:01:36,701
much of a girls' trip,
would it, sweetie?
42
00:01:36,726 --> 00:01:40,139
I know, but I really feel like
I could add to the experience.
43
00:01:40,164 --> 00:01:41,706
Like you two are Thelma and Louise
44
00:01:41,731 --> 00:01:43,334
and I'm Brad Pitt.
45
00:01:44,812 --> 00:01:46,224
- Hey, guys.
- Hey.
46
00:01:46,249 --> 00:01:47,448
So, what do you say, Gemma?
47
00:01:47,473 --> 00:01:49,267
You ready to have some fun?
48
00:01:49,292 --> 00:01:50,968
- You know it, girl!
- Yeah!
49
00:01:51,145 --> 00:01:52,367
What do you say, Calvin?
50
00:01:52,392 --> 00:01:54,328
You ready to have some fun, too?
51
00:01:55,649 --> 00:01:57,687
I got to load the bags, Dave.
52
00:02:00,130 --> 00:02:01,604
This one feels empty.
53
00:02:01,629 --> 00:02:03,445
Maybe I should climb in and stow away.
54
00:02:03,470 --> 00:02:06,188
Hey, that's a good idea.
'Cause you know what they say:
55
00:02:06,305 --> 00:02:08,904
what goes to Vegas stays in Vegas.
56
00:02:13,070 --> 00:02:18,398
- Synced and corrected by martythecrazy -
- www.addic7ed.com -
57
00:02:33,694 --> 00:02:36,587
♪ Hey, girl... ♪
58
00:02:36,930 --> 00:02:39,741
Aw, that takes me back to
my player days right there.
59
00:02:39,766 --> 00:02:42,679
Tina lucky she locked me down.
60
00:02:42,704 --> 00:02:44,791
♪ Hey, boy... ♪
61
00:02:44,816 --> 00:02:46,683
It's good to be the king.
62
00:02:47,381 --> 00:02:49,258
I thought all kings wore robes.
63
00:02:49,283 --> 00:02:50,953
Well, they do.
64
00:02:50,978 --> 00:02:53,858
But I needed to let the
royal jewels breathe.
65
00:02:53,883 --> 00:02:55,365
Hey, man.
66
00:02:56,464 --> 00:02:58,588
So, this is how you're
fulfilling your needs
67
00:02:58,613 --> 00:02:59,449
for the weekend, huh?
68
00:02:59,484 --> 00:03:02,301
Sitting in your underwear,
listening to oldies,
69
00:03:02,326 --> 00:03:04,055
and giving yourself diabetes?
70
00:03:04,326 --> 00:03:06,283
It's pretty cool, right?
71
00:03:06,598 --> 00:03:08,372
You know what would
be pretty cool, Pop,
72
00:03:08,397 --> 00:03:10,780
is if you ordered the
pay-per-view fight for tonight.
73
00:03:10,805 --> 00:03:13,443
Posley versus Camargo.
Supposed to be a good one.
74
00:03:13,468 --> 00:03:16,345
But then I would be fulfilling
your needs as well as mine.
75
00:03:16,876 --> 00:03:18,381
Aw, what the hell.
76
00:03:18,406 --> 00:03:19,711
I'm a benevolent king.
77
00:03:20,540 --> 00:03:22,414
Okay, well, I'll let Marty know.
78
00:03:22,439 --> 00:03:24,118
Good. We'll make it a guys' night.
79
00:03:24,143 --> 00:03:25,392
All right. Well, I'll invite Dave.
80
00:03:25,417 --> 00:03:27,149
Now, hold on a second, now.
81
00:03:27,699 --> 00:03:29,212
What? How come?
82
00:03:29,345 --> 00:03:31,759
'Cause Dave is not the kind of guy
83
00:03:31,784 --> 00:03:34,134
you invite over for guys' night.
84
00:03:34,337 --> 00:03:35,756
I mean, now,
85
00:03:35,781 --> 00:03:38,092
we were having a men's
brunch with a wine tasting?
86
00:03:38,618 --> 00:03:40,232
All right, look, Pop, I know
87
00:03:40,257 --> 00:03:42,306
Dave is not your typical kind of dude,
88
00:03:42,331 --> 00:03:44,365
but if you ask me, Dave is a man.
89
00:03:44,681 --> 00:03:45,963
I know.
90
00:03:45,988 --> 00:03:47,626
That's why I don't ask you.
91
00:03:48,091 --> 00:03:49,352
Look, come on, Pop.
92
00:03:49,377 --> 00:03:52,492
He is a good husband and father
who takes care of his family.
93
00:03:52,517 --> 00:03:54,868
And he is not embarrassed
to be himself.
94
00:03:54,893 --> 00:03:56,603
There is no shame in Dave's game.
95
00:03:56,941 --> 00:03:58,193
I know.
96
00:03:58,218 --> 00:04:00,813
Which is weird, because
there really should be.
97
00:04:01,169 --> 00:04:03,845
But that's what I'm saying, man.
Dave knows who he is,
98
00:04:03,870 --> 00:04:06,044
and he owns it no matter
what anyone thinks.
99
00:04:06,069 --> 00:04:08,242
Isn't that what makes
a man real to you?
100
00:04:08,630 --> 00:04:11,090
Fine. Go ahead. Invite him.
101
00:04:11,615 --> 00:04:13,542
Probably doesn't even like boxing.
102
00:04:13,567 --> 00:04:15,629
"Calvin, it's so barbaric.
103
00:04:15,654 --> 00:04:17,520
"Why can't they just
settle their differences
104
00:04:17,545 --> 00:04:19,605
with a rousing game of Parcheesi?"
105
00:04:22,226 --> 00:04:25,455
Dave says, "Hell yes," and
he is bringing snacks.
106
00:04:25,659 --> 00:04:27,075
Okay. Yeah.
107
00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:30,101
Well, maybe it won't be so bad.
108
00:04:30,169 --> 00:04:32,368
He wants to know what you
like on your veggie plate.
109
00:04:34,672 --> 00:04:38,658
Okay, we have a gondola ride
at the Venetian at 6:00,
110
00:04:38,683 --> 00:04:41,974
the dancing fountains at the
Bellagio at 7:30, and...
111
00:04:41,999 --> 00:04:43,766
Drumroll, please...
112
00:04:43,791 --> 00:04:45,913
Donny and Marie tickets at 9:00!
113
00:04:47,736 --> 00:04:49,095
Vegas, baby!
114
00:04:49,120 --> 00:04:50,658
♪ Girls' trip. ♪
115
00:04:50,807 --> 00:04:53,175
Gemma, the only girl
who's trippin' is you.
116
00:04:54,329 --> 00:04:55,862
Yeah, we only came here
117
00:04:55,887 --> 00:04:57,667
because you said that you
needed to blow off some steam.
118
00:04:57,692 --> 00:04:59,874
We're not doing any
of that corny stuff.
119
00:04:59,899 --> 00:05:02,088
But I made a whole itinerary. Look.
120
00:05:02,113 --> 00:05:04,005
It's got little boxes we can check off.
121
00:05:04,030 --> 00:05:06,216
Aw. Well, that's nice.
122
00:05:06,241 --> 00:05:08,330
But my itinerary says that it's time
123
00:05:08,355 --> 00:05:10,127
to throw out your itinerary.
124
00:05:10,152 --> 00:05:11,313
What?
125
00:05:11,560 --> 00:05:12,946
Check.
126
00:05:14,021 --> 00:05:15,994
I just thought the
more structure we had,
127
00:05:16,019 --> 00:05:17,872
the more we could pack into our night.
128
00:05:17,989 --> 00:05:21,344
When I rage, I try to rage efficiently.
129
00:05:22,343 --> 00:05:25,177
Gemma, a girls' night in Vegas
is like floating down a river.
130
00:05:25,202 --> 00:05:27,090
You know? You got to go with the flow
131
00:05:27,115 --> 00:05:29,287
and see where it takes you.
132
00:05:29,581 --> 00:05:31,914
And why is your plan better than mine?
133
00:05:31,939 --> 00:05:33,496
Because it's Vegas, girl.
134
00:05:33,521 --> 00:05:34,695
Always bet on black.
135
00:05:36,290 --> 00:05:38,267
Hey. Check it out, ladies.
136
00:05:38,292 --> 00:05:39,682
The hottest show in town.
137
00:05:39,707 --> 00:05:42,978
See your wildest fantasies
onstage tonight.
138
00:05:45,746 --> 00:05:47,401
Magic Mike Live?
139
00:05:47,426 --> 00:05:49,489
What? Let me see that.
140
00:05:50,202 --> 00:05:52,043
It's just a bunch of male strippers.
141
00:05:52,068 --> 00:05:53,984
Exactly. You see?
142
00:05:54,273 --> 00:05:57,171
We go with the flow, and plans
will fall right in our laps.
143
00:05:57,196 --> 00:05:59,403
And tonight some men will, too.
144
00:06:01,904 --> 00:06:04,201
Thanks again for inviting me.
Grover's at a sleepover.
145
00:06:04,226 --> 00:06:06,092
Otherwise I wouldn't
have been able to come.
146
00:06:06,225 --> 00:06:07,474
How convenient.
147
00:06:08,418 --> 00:06:10,574
You gonna get in on some
of this jicama, Calvin?
148
00:06:11,958 --> 00:06:13,529
It's in season.
149
00:06:14,023 --> 00:06:15,618
Well, fortunately,
150
00:06:15,643 --> 00:06:17,225
so is pizza.
151
00:06:18,524 --> 00:06:20,992
Man, this is great. Nothing
like a bunch of guys
152
00:06:21,017 --> 00:06:23,752
getting together to watch a big fight.
153
00:06:23,777 --> 00:06:25,293
Whoa.
154
00:06:25,318 --> 00:06:27,099
I almost just double dipped.
155
00:06:27,124 --> 00:06:28,835
So...
156
00:06:30,583 --> 00:06:33,178
So, uh, Dave, who do you
think's gonna win the fight?
157
00:06:33,203 --> 00:06:35,460
Well, I don't know much
about these two fighters.
158
00:06:36,496 --> 00:06:39,564
But Camargo is undefeated
against southpaws,
159
00:06:39,589 --> 00:06:41,534
and nobody cuts the ring
off better than he does.
160
00:06:43,185 --> 00:06:44,884
And then, Posley
161
00:06:44,909 --> 00:06:46,701
does have a three-inch reach advantage
162
00:06:46,726 --> 00:06:48,220
and a pretty solid chin.
163
00:06:53,318 --> 00:06:56,486
But I'm rooting for Posley
'cause I like his purple shorts.
164
00:07:00,522 --> 00:07:02,960
Hey, guys. Big fight night.
165
00:07:02,985 --> 00:07:05,284
Oh, I see the jicama's in season.
166
00:07:05,309 --> 00:07:07,382
Yeah.
167
00:07:09,004 --> 00:07:11,477
Whoa. Wh-What's wrong with the TV?
168
00:07:11,502 --> 00:07:13,115
Why's it all pixelated like that?
169
00:07:13,140 --> 00:07:14,992
I don't know. I paid for the fight.
170
00:07:15,017 --> 00:07:17,310
Well, maybe something's
blocking the satellite dish.
171
00:07:17,335 --> 00:07:19,899
Well, Marty, do something.
You work on satellites.
172
00:07:19,924 --> 00:07:21,904
Yeah, in space.
173
00:07:23,637 --> 00:07:26,339
Then it should be easier down here.
174
00:07:26,962 --> 00:07:28,578
Okay.
175
00:07:28,603 --> 00:07:30,462
Let's just go outside and take a look.
176
00:07:32,672 --> 00:07:34,722
I told you we shouldn't
have invited Dave.
177
00:07:34,747 --> 00:07:36,231
Oh, he had nothing to do with this.
178
00:07:36,256 --> 00:07:37,474
I didn't say he did.
179
00:07:40,717 --> 00:07:42,500
Oh, there's the problem.
180
00:07:42,525 --> 00:07:44,675
The branch from Dave's tree
is blocking the signal.
181
00:07:44,700 --> 00:07:46,664
I knew this was Dave's fault.
182
00:07:47,152 --> 00:07:49,170
How is this my fault?
183
00:07:49,195 --> 00:07:51,393
Because you don't trim
your trees enough.
184
00:07:51,418 --> 00:07:54,523
Old raggedy-ass branches
just waving around
185
00:07:54,548 --> 00:07:57,310
like one of those things in
front of a used car lot.
186
00:07:58,833 --> 00:08:01,082
You know, it's a California oak.
187
00:08:01,107 --> 00:08:03,492
I can't trim it. They're
protected by law.
188
00:08:03,517 --> 00:08:05,618
Oh. That must be why
189
00:08:05,643 --> 00:08:07,630
the cop cars cruise by
here three times a day.
190
00:08:08,419 --> 00:08:10,402
Yes, hi. It's Dave Johnson.
191
00:08:10,427 --> 00:08:11,584
Local homeowner.
192
00:08:11,609 --> 00:08:13,143
Yeah, we have a bit of a tree conun...
193
00:08:16,585 --> 00:08:18,026
Marty, get the ladder.
194
00:08:18,051 --> 00:08:19,775
Whoa, whoa, Pop, Pop,
you are not climbing
195
00:08:19,800 --> 00:08:22,044
on some old, rickety
roof with a chain saw.
196
00:08:22,069 --> 00:08:23,189
I'll be fine.
197
00:08:23,214 --> 00:08:24,377
How do you know that?
198
00:08:24,402 --> 00:08:26,067
'Cause you're gonna do it.
199
00:08:26,677 --> 00:08:30,024
No, I'm not. You heard Dave.
Trimming an oak is illegal.
200
00:08:30,049 --> 00:08:31,523
I done stayed out of jail this long.
201
00:08:31,548 --> 00:08:33,416
I'm not going in for assaulting a tree.
202
00:08:34,086 --> 00:08:36,741
Hmm. Okay. Then Marty will do it.
203
00:08:36,766 --> 00:08:39,483
Oh, Dad, uh...
204
00:08:39,759 --> 00:08:42,689
you know I would do anything to
prove to you that I am a man,
205
00:08:42,714 --> 00:08:46,178
but I'm scared of heights, and I
just ate a lot of jicama, so...
206
00:08:47,886 --> 00:08:50,196
Fine. Since none of you will do it,
207
00:08:50,221 --> 00:08:51,503
I guess I will.
208
00:08:51,528 --> 00:08:52,827
No, you won't.
209
00:08:54,070 --> 00:08:56,037
Give me the chain saw.
210
00:08:56,790 --> 00:09:00,210
Really? Mr. I Like His Purple Shorts?
211
00:09:00,693 --> 00:09:03,373
Yeah, that's right. Look, it's my tree.
212
00:09:03,398 --> 00:09:05,441
My property. My responsibility.
213
00:09:06,093 --> 00:09:08,018
Okay. Go ahead.
214
00:09:08,043 --> 00:09:10,562
Wait, wait. Dave, are you sure
you know how to use that thing?
215
00:09:10,587 --> 00:09:11,774
- Oh, relax.
- Whoa, man!
216
00:09:13,992 --> 00:09:16,482
I got this. Now, before I go up there,
217
00:09:16,507 --> 00:09:19,351
I'm gonna need two things:
hold the ladder and...
218
00:09:19,899 --> 00:09:21,856
watch out for Five-O.
219
00:09:30,997 --> 00:09:32,474
I don't know about this.
220
00:09:32,740 --> 00:09:34,348
You don't know about what?
221
00:09:34,373 --> 00:09:36,114
Hot men?
222
00:09:37,802 --> 00:09:40,016
It's just, this isn't my kind of thing.
223
00:09:40,041 --> 00:09:41,418
I know Donny and Marie
224
00:09:41,443 --> 00:09:44,317
are a solid five out
of five stars on Yelp.
225
00:09:44,688 --> 00:09:48,991
Yeah, but that guy has a
solid six out of six abs.
226
00:09:49,016 --> 00:09:51,665
Tina! That is somebody's son.
227
00:09:51,690 --> 00:09:54,110
Mm-hmm. And somebody raised him right!
228
00:09:54,135 --> 00:09:55,987
Okay. Okay.
229
00:09:56,012 --> 00:09:58,610
But what would Calvin think
if he knew you were here
230
00:09:58,635 --> 00:10:01,089
surrounded by all these
hot, shirtless guys?
231
00:10:01,114 --> 00:10:03,027
He doesn't care. In our house,
232
00:10:03,052 --> 00:10:05,091
it doesn't matter where
you get your appetite,
233
00:10:05,116 --> 00:10:07,282
as long as you come home to eat.
234
00:10:11,362 --> 00:10:13,022
Okay, I'm up.
235
00:10:14,282 --> 00:10:15,880
Looking good, Dave!
236
00:10:15,989 --> 00:10:17,571
He is gonna die.
237
00:10:19,025 --> 00:10:22,091
Come on, man, get to it! Fight
starts in five minutes.
238
00:10:22,116 --> 00:10:24,033
Okay, here we go.
239
00:10:24,058 --> 00:10:27,783
Whoa.
240
00:10:29,248 --> 00:10:31,453
It really shakes in your hands!
241
00:10:33,013 --> 00:10:36,054
Maybe I should call 911 now so
they're already on their way.
242
00:10:38,235 --> 00:10:39,633
I can't reach it.
243
00:10:39,658 --> 00:10:41,124
All right, then-then just
come back down, man.
244
00:10:41,149 --> 00:10:42,378
Don't risk it.
245
00:10:42,403 --> 00:10:44,667
Or get up on your tippy-toes!
246
00:10:49,024 --> 00:10:50,913
I'm so close!
247
00:10:52,414 --> 00:10:53,939
Whoa!
248
00:10:53,964 --> 00:10:55,651
Be careful, David!
249
00:10:55,676 --> 00:10:57,642
Yeah, seriously, man!
That's a new chain saw!
250
00:10:58,486 --> 00:11:00,361
Almost got it.
251
00:11:01,244 --> 00:11:02,562
Oh!
252
00:11:03,138 --> 00:11:04,589
Yes!
253
00:11:04,614 --> 00:11:06,592
- Oh!
- All right!
254
00:11:06,617 --> 00:11:08,584
I told you I could do it!
255
00:11:08,609 --> 00:11:10,461
Hey, y-you know what? You
sure did, man. Now, please,
256
00:11:10,486 --> 00:11:11,717
just come on down, all right?
257
00:11:11,742 --> 00:11:13,578
Okay, okay. But seriously,
258
00:11:13,603 --> 00:11:15,788
you should've seen the
look on your faces
259
00:11:15,813 --> 00:11:17,724
when you thought I was gonna...
Whoa! Whoa!
260
00:11:17,749 --> 00:11:20,193
Oh, Daddy, no! Ooh!
261
00:11:20,219 --> 00:11:22,377
Oh, Pop! Pop!
262
00:11:22,940 --> 00:11:24,557
Oh, Pop.
263
00:11:34,366 --> 00:11:36,310
Oh, my God, Calvin. If you
didn't break my fall,
264
00:11:36,335 --> 00:11:38,001
I could be dead right now.
265
00:11:39,613 --> 00:11:42,330
I know. That's what I
keep thinking, too.
266
00:11:43,487 --> 00:11:45,473
Are you sure you don't want
to go to the hospital?
267
00:11:45,498 --> 00:11:46,863
Oh, no, I'm fine. Thank you, though.
268
00:11:49,255 --> 00:11:50,975
You... oh, you-you mean Calvin.
269
00:11:51,894 --> 00:11:54,426
No, I'm-I'm all right; it's just
my back's out a little bit.
270
00:11:54,451 --> 00:11:55,660
Help-help me sit down.
271
00:11:55,723 --> 00:11:57,795
- All right. Easy.
- Okay, you know, the craziest part
272
00:11:57,820 --> 00:11:59,796
was how Dave bounced
off of you and landed
273
00:11:59,821 --> 00:12:00,929
right back on top of you.
274
00:12:00,954 --> 00:12:02,737
Like, the science of that
275
00:12:02,762 --> 00:12:04,337
is-is...
276
00:12:05,584 --> 00:12:07,601
Maybe that's for another time.
277
00:12:08,128 --> 00:12:10,956
All I know is this damn
TV better be working.
278
00:12:12,286 --> 00:12:13,452
- Pop, Pop.
- Get the remote, Marty.
279
00:12:13,477 --> 00:12:15,081
Yeah, I got it, I got it.
280
00:12:15,106 --> 00:12:16,692
Hey, it's working.
281
00:12:16,717 --> 00:12:18,700
Oh, man, this is killing me.
282
00:12:19,171 --> 00:12:21,811
Gosh, Calvin, you know, I can't help
283
00:12:21,836 --> 00:12:23,868
but feel somewhat
responsible for all this.
284
00:12:26,533 --> 00:12:28,663
You know what? Let me run
next door and get you
285
00:12:28,688 --> 00:12:31,208
some of Gemma's prescription
muscle relaxants.
286
00:12:31,233 --> 00:12:32,949
Why does Gemma have muscle relaxants?
287
00:12:32,974 --> 00:12:34,441
Oh, well, the doctor
just gave them to her
288
00:12:34,466 --> 00:12:36,158
for when her menstrual
cramps get real bad.
289
00:12:36,183 --> 00:12:37,957
Oh.
290
00:12:39,502 --> 00:12:43,035
I'm not taking your wife's
period pills, Dave.
291
00:12:43,838 --> 00:12:45,907
No, no, no, Calvin, they're
not her period pills.
292
00:12:45,932 --> 00:12:48,221
They're just the pills she takes
when she's on her period.
293
00:12:49,850 --> 00:12:51,927
Whoa, whoa, Pop.
294
00:12:51,952 --> 00:12:53,601
You just can't sit here like this, man.
295
00:12:53,626 --> 00:12:54,867
Yeah, man, you look miserable.
296
00:12:54,892 --> 00:12:56,107
Yeah, you know what? They're right.
297
00:12:56,132 --> 00:12:57,882
Luckily, Calvin,
298
00:12:58,130 --> 00:13:00,136
I have another solution.
299
00:13:00,161 --> 00:13:02,458
I give an amazing massage.
300
00:13:02,933 --> 00:13:05,583
Get the pills. Get the
damn pills, Dave!
301
00:13:07,444 --> 00:13:10,647
Yeah! Work it, baby.
302
00:13:10,672 --> 00:13:12,728
Hump that floor!
303
00:13:13,693 --> 00:13:16,036
I think I'm starting to get it.
304
00:13:16,349 --> 00:13:19,355
All of these men are
here for our pleasure,
305
00:13:19,380 --> 00:13:20,857
asking what we want.
306
00:13:21,146 --> 00:13:23,741
No one ever asks women what they want.
307
00:13:23,766 --> 00:13:26,649
Look at him twirling that
T-shirt over his head
308
00:13:26,674 --> 00:13:28,245
like a sexy helicopter.
309
00:13:29,751 --> 00:13:31,241
It's almost as if
310
00:13:31,266 --> 00:13:34,621
Magic Mike is the ultimate
expression of feminism.
311
00:13:35,296 --> 00:13:38,382
Oh! Oh-oh-oh! Black Hawk down!
312
00:13:39,939 --> 00:13:41,804
- I'm going... oh, oh, oh, oh!
- Wait.
313
00:13:41,829 --> 00:13:42,906
Whoa, whoa, what are you doing?
314
00:13:42,931 --> 00:13:44,693
Come on! We're going to the stage.
315
00:13:44,718 --> 00:13:46,361
What-what? Wait, wait, wait!
Tina! Tina!
316
00:13:46,386 --> 00:13:49,270
I don't think I'm ready
for this much feminism.
317
00:13:51,358 --> 00:13:53,325
What's about to happen?
318
00:13:53,350 --> 00:13:56,714
Magic, Gemma. Magic.
319
00:13:59,459 --> 00:14:01,570
Wow, round five and
Posley's still in it.
320
00:14:01,595 --> 00:14:02,209
Well, yeah,
321
00:14:02,234 --> 00:14:03,261
but look how much he's bleeding.
322
00:14:03,286 --> 00:14:05,258
Ah, get him, Camargo!
323
00:14:06,640 --> 00:14:08,952
Hey, Pop, those pills
making you feel any better?
324
00:14:09,099 --> 00:14:11,257
Actually...
325
00:14:12,629 --> 00:14:14,407
quite a bit.
326
00:14:15,493 --> 00:14:19,745
But why do these guys keep
hitting each other like that?
327
00:14:20,913 --> 00:14:23,711
With all of the violence in the world,
328
00:14:23,736 --> 00:14:25,572
don't you think it's a better way
329
00:14:25,597 --> 00:14:27,213
they can solve their problems?
330
00:14:29,479 --> 00:14:31,393
Um, like what?
331
00:14:31,418 --> 00:14:33,350
Like a dance-off.
332
00:14:34,114 --> 00:14:36,532
Or a staring contest?
333
00:14:45,011 --> 00:14:47,448
Yeah, let... let-let
me see those pills.
334
00:14:47,473 --> 00:14:48,971
Just...
335
00:14:49,833 --> 00:14:54,192
"The side effects may include
dizziness, drowsiness,
336
00:14:54,217 --> 00:14:56,279
and emotional sensitivity."
337
00:14:57,652 --> 00:15:01,574
What the world needs is love.
338
00:15:02,897 --> 00:15:05,717
Okay, look... I-I only gave him two.
339
00:15:05,931 --> 00:15:08,833
Oh, wait. I just gave him two.
340
00:15:10,768 --> 00:15:12,996
Can I give him two more?
341
00:15:14,553 --> 00:15:17,734
Malcolm. Malcolm, where are you, boy?
342
00:15:17,759 --> 00:15:19,000
Yeah... hey, hey, hey, hey, Pop.
343
00:15:19,025 --> 00:15:20,665
I'm sitting right next to you, man.
344
00:15:20,690 --> 00:15:23,646
- Oh. There you are.
- Yeah.
345
00:15:23,671 --> 00:15:25,167
Come here, son.
346
00:15:25,192 --> 00:15:26,504
O-Okay.
347
00:15:27,564 --> 00:15:29,249
- Malcolm.
- Yeah?
348
00:15:29,283 --> 00:15:31,316
You're my firstborn son.
349
00:15:31,341 --> 00:15:32,441
Yeah.
350
00:15:32,898 --> 00:15:35,502
- And I love you, boy.
- Uh-huh.
351
00:15:36,272 --> 00:15:38,473
- Hey, uh, thanks, Pop.
- Yeah.
352
00:15:39,461 --> 00:15:40,987
Marty?
353
00:15:42,213 --> 00:15:43,949
Yes, Dad?
354
00:15:44,240 --> 00:15:47,171
I was just seeing if
you were still here.
355
00:15:50,090 --> 00:15:52,040
O-Okay. Okay.
356
00:15:52,065 --> 00:15:54,860
Okay, guys, I-I'm starting
to get a little worried.
357
00:15:54,885 --> 00:15:57,474
Calvin, you've ingested
some pretty serious drugs,
358
00:15:57,499 --> 00:16:00,000
and you're experiencing side effects.
359
00:16:02,649 --> 00:16:05,209
Is there anything you need?
360
00:16:07,771 --> 00:16:09,678
Well, you know what?
361
00:16:09,880 --> 00:16:12,983
Now that you mention it, there is.
362
00:16:14,469 --> 00:16:16,467
Ok-Okay, what is it?
363
00:16:17,478 --> 00:16:21,111
Does that offer for a
back rub still stand?
364
00:16:31,385 --> 00:16:35,809
You guys heard him! He asked.
365
00:16:43,220 --> 00:16:45,904
- Oh! Oh.
- Yeah.
366
00:16:48,083 --> 00:16:49,845
Hi, I'm Gemma.
367
00:16:49,870 --> 00:16:52,620
I really appreciate
your progressiveness
368
00:16:52,645 --> 00:16:54,156
and your willingness
to objectify yourself
369
00:16:54,181 --> 00:16:55,883
for my pleasure.
370
00:16:56,472 --> 00:16:58,680
Gemma, shut up and make some noise!
371
00:17:00,078 --> 00:17:02,617
Now, where are you comfortable
with me putting my hands?
372
00:17:02,642 --> 00:17:04,471
That works.
373
00:17:05,257 --> 00:17:07,532
Come on, Gemma, get out of your head.
374
00:17:07,557 --> 00:17:09,335
This is our girls' trip.
375
00:17:09,360 --> 00:17:12,192
You're right. Like Thelma and Louise.
376
00:17:12,217 --> 00:17:13,336
- Yes. There you go.
- Yeah.
377
00:17:13,361 --> 00:17:15,286
Now, come on, Thelma. Do you trust me?
378
00:17:15,311 --> 00:17:16,772
I do, Louise.
379
00:17:16,797 --> 00:17:18,576
Do you trust in the magic of Vegas?
380
00:17:18,601 --> 00:17:19,552
Yes.
381
00:17:19,577 --> 00:17:20,961
And of our girls' trips?
382
00:17:20,986 --> 00:17:23,194
Ooh... okay.
383
00:17:23,713 --> 00:17:25,777
Then, come on, girl,
let's ride this thing
384
00:17:25,802 --> 00:17:27,638
over the cliff together!
385
00:17:28,109 --> 00:17:30,517
You sit down. I can do this.
386
00:17:30,542 --> 00:17:32,427
See, I used to do this back in the day.
387
00:17:32,452 --> 00:17:34,548
Hey, hey.
388
00:17:45,431 --> 00:17:49,240
And to think, after this, we can
still go to Donny and Marie!
389
00:17:51,553 --> 00:17:53,670
Okay, Calvin, how we doing?
390
00:17:53,695 --> 00:17:55,549
I don't know what your hands
391
00:17:55,574 --> 00:17:59,441
are doing back there,
Dave, but don't stop.
392
00:18:01,285 --> 00:18:03,794
Do you think Pop's gonna
remember any of this?
393
00:18:03,819 --> 00:18:05,482
No, I don't.
394
00:18:06,674 --> 00:18:09,428
Which is why I've been recording.
395
00:18:12,119 --> 00:18:13,264
Okay.
396
00:18:13,289 --> 00:18:15,296
I think we got all the knots out.
397
00:18:16,066 --> 00:18:17,899
Oh, man, fight's over.
398
00:18:17,924 --> 00:18:19,223
Yeah, but I think we can all agree
399
00:18:19,248 --> 00:18:21,566
that this was the main event.
400
00:18:24,742 --> 00:18:26,643
How you doing, Calvin?
You feeling okay?
401
00:18:26,668 --> 00:18:28,809
Oh, so much better.
402
00:18:29,766 --> 00:18:31,290
You know what?
403
00:18:31,315 --> 00:18:34,231
Dave, I... have to admit,
404
00:18:34,256 --> 00:18:37,676
when Malcolm first suggested
inviting you tonight,
405
00:18:37,912 --> 00:18:40,610
I was like "Boo.
406
00:18:41,479 --> 00:18:43,582
Bad idea."
407
00:18:44,027 --> 00:18:48,032
But now I'm more like, "Yay!
408
00:18:48,675 --> 00:18:50,575
Dave's here."
409
00:18:52,274 --> 00:18:54,738
Well, I-I'm glad you came around.
410
00:18:54,763 --> 00:18:58,823
Now, don't tell you I said this.
411
00:19:01,145 --> 00:19:03,213
I don't give you enough credit.
412
00:19:03,731 --> 00:19:06,768
I mean, you're not as
soft as I thought.
413
00:19:07,062 --> 00:19:09,756
Sure, yeah, you smile too much
414
00:19:09,781 --> 00:19:13,198
and you go to Disneyland by yourself...
415
00:19:16,748 --> 00:19:21,912
but you, you got up on
that roof with a chain saw
416
00:19:22,278 --> 00:19:25,287
and you did something
dangerous and stupid.
417
00:19:26,735 --> 00:19:30,614
And to me, that's a man.
418
00:19:33,624 --> 00:19:35,645
I appreciate that, Calvin.
419
00:19:36,197 --> 00:19:37,790
Okeydokey.
420
00:19:37,962 --> 00:19:40,359
My eyes are gonna go to sleep now.
421
00:19:47,204 --> 00:19:49,014
Sweet dreams, buddy.
422
00:19:51,955 --> 00:19:53,825
Oh, and I'm gonna need copies of that
423
00:19:53,850 --> 00:19:56,279
texted and e-mailed to me immediately!
424
00:20:01,961 --> 00:20:03,206
Hey, Dave.
425
00:20:03,231 --> 00:20:05,218
Oh, hey, Calvin. How's the back?
426
00:20:05,243 --> 00:20:08,202
Eh, a little sore, but better.
427
00:20:08,441 --> 00:20:10,507
Man, those pills were strong.
428
00:20:10,839 --> 00:20:12,811
I don't even remember the fight.
429
00:20:13,264 --> 00:20:15,894
Oh, well, uh...
430
00:20:16,173 --> 00:20:18,087
you enjoyed it.
431
00:20:22,078 --> 00:20:23,682
Oh, hey, honey. How was your trip?
432
00:20:23,707 --> 00:20:25,312
I'll tell you all about it inside.
433
00:20:25,337 --> 00:20:26,173
Well, you don't wantto grab your bag...
434
00:20:26,198 --> 00:20:26,704
Nope.
435
00:20:26,729 --> 00:20:28,428
Mama came home hungry.
436
00:20:34,745 --> 00:20:37,764
Oh, no. No, no, no.
Tina, I know that look,
437
00:20:37,789 --> 00:20:39,834
but, baby, I hurt my back, okay?
438
00:20:39,859 --> 00:20:42,745
Oh, you poor baby.
439
00:20:42,770 --> 00:20:45,268
It's a good thing I
only need your front.
440
00:20:47,184 --> 00:20:48,962
All right, all right.
441
00:20:48,987 --> 00:20:51,390
But first, let me take my period pills.
442
00:20:51,415 --> 00:20:52,724
All right.
31515
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