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1
00:00:03,504 --> 00:00:07,082
(Al): Roger hits on you and
you hide it from me, right?
2
00:00:07,102 --> 00:00:10,340
The piano guy hits on you and you say
3
00:00:10,360 --> 00:00:12,755
you don't see the signs.
Did you ride on his bike?
4
00:00:12,775 --> 00:00:15,434
Robert fucking Ringwald hits on you
5
00:00:15,454 --> 00:00:17,419
and what do you do?
You go to the playground with him.
6
00:00:17,439 --> 00:00:19,917
Of course. I mean, what...
7
00:00:19,937 --> 00:00:22,880
what are you looking for
that I can't give you?!
8
00:00:22,900 --> 00:00:24,679
Honestly, I'm asking you!
9
00:00:24,699 --> 00:00:27,694
What the fuck is going on?!
10
00:00:29,140 --> 00:00:30,439
This will make you laugh.
11
00:00:30,459 --> 00:00:31,932
I had a dream last night...
12
00:00:31,952 --> 00:00:36,209
I was playing football. Laughing yet?
13
00:00:36,229 --> 00:00:38,645
Ok. It's raining.
14
00:00:38,665 --> 00:00:41,930
Everyone's covered in mud.
It's the last minute of play
15
00:00:41,950 --> 00:00:45,064
and we're tied. Classic narrative.
16
00:00:45,084 --> 00:00:47,592
There was...
there was a fumble in the line of scrimmage
17
00:00:47,612 --> 00:00:50,788
and out of the confusion,
I scoop up the ball and run.
18
00:00:50,808 --> 00:00:54,880
I run my ass off and there's
nobody in front of me.
19
00:00:54,900 --> 00:00:58,049
And I dive across the goal line,
slam the ball into the mud
20
00:00:58,069 --> 00:01:01,132
just as the whistle blows.
And then I jump up and shout,
21
00:01:01,152 --> 00:01:03,164
"I won, I won!
22
00:01:03,184 --> 00:01:06,100
"I thought I was shit at this game,
but I won!"
23
00:01:06,120 --> 00:01:08,760
And it isn't until I see
the faces of my teammates
24
00:01:08,780 --> 00:01:12,658
that I realize the
enormity of what I've done.
25
00:01:12,971 --> 00:01:15,714
I ran in the wrong direction.
26
00:01:18,710 --> 00:01:22,046
Wow, I... I thought you'd laugh.
You love laughing at my pain.
27
00:01:23,519 --> 00:01:26,149
- This is troubling.
- Oh, ok. Here it comes. What?
28
00:01:26,184 --> 00:01:29,243
You have to fly to Rio for two
weeks to confirm them, or...?
29
00:01:29,263 --> 00:01:32,077
There's a slight cardiac dysrhythmia.
30
00:01:32,097 --> 00:01:34,224
- There is?
- Yes.
31
00:01:34,258 --> 00:01:37,721
Your heart is beating
faster than it should.
32
00:01:38,094 --> 00:01:41,056
Oh, well that's just
because you're in here.
33
00:01:42,433 --> 00:01:46,217
Still no laughter. Ok, is this... what?
Is it serious, or...?
34
00:01:46,237 --> 00:01:48,803
- It could be.
- Well, how do we find out
35
00:01:48,823 --> 00:01:50,840
if it is or it isn't?
And if it is, is it...
36
00:01:50,874 --> 00:01:53,009
like, how serious potentially?
37
00:01:53,077 --> 00:01:55,178
- Is it very serious, or...
- Relax.
38
00:01:55,706 --> 00:01:58,839
- (Al): Dirhythmia.
- (Doctor): Dysrhythmia.
39
00:01:59,041 --> 00:02:00,750
(Al): You know, as soon
as I leave this office,
40
00:02:00,784 --> 00:02:02,553
I'm going to be all over the Internet,
41
00:02:02,573 --> 00:02:05,669
checking every permutation of that word,
so, ah...
42
00:02:05,689 --> 00:02:07,440
How do you expect me to relax, exactly?
43
00:02:07,460 --> 00:02:08,944
(Doctor): Al, do yourself a favour.
44
00:02:08,964 --> 00:02:11,961
Give it your best shot.
45
00:02:12,029 --> 00:02:15,331
E... excuse me. Excuse me.
That's my car, the jag.
46
00:02:15,365 --> 00:02:18,234
- You just gave me a ticket.
- It's after 4pm.
47
00:02:18,268 --> 00:02:20,536
Yeah, well, look...
I just had a doctor's appointment
48
00:02:20,604 --> 00:02:22,538
and uh, well, to be honest with you,
49
00:02:22,606 --> 00:02:25,907
there was a questionable test
result and it might be bad.
50
00:02:26,475 --> 00:02:27,909
I'm sorry.
51
00:02:27,977 --> 00:02:29,911
Yeah, well, it might be nothing,
but you know,
52
00:02:29,979 --> 00:02:32,280
we had to talk about it,
I couldn't just leave,
53
00:02:32,348 --> 00:02:35,283
so I went past four, but you know why.
54
00:02:35,351 --> 00:02:37,653
- Yeah, yeah.
- So, um. So...
55
00:02:37,687 --> 00:02:39,755
are you gonna tear that up or do I...
56
00:02:39,822 --> 00:02:41,690
- It's after 4pm.
- Yeah, but I might have
57
00:02:41,758 --> 00:02:43,725
- a serious heart condition.
- I'm sorry.
58
00:02:43,793 --> 00:02:46,049
Well, you keep saying that,
but I don't think you are sorry.
59
00:02:46,069 --> 00:02:47,728
I feel empathy, what can I say?
60
00:02:47,796 --> 00:02:49,730
- Oh, you feel empathy?
- Well, it's after 4pm
61
00:02:49,798 --> 00:02:51,732
and I gotta write a ticket.
I don't have a choice.
62
00:02:51,800 --> 00:02:53,734
- Regardless of circumstances?
- Yeah.
63
00:02:53,802 --> 00:02:55,736
So, if I came running up
and I had a heart attack
64
00:02:55,804 --> 00:02:57,572
right in front of my car,
you'd still give me a ticket?
65
00:02:57,640 --> 00:03:00,769
Well, y... no.
Ok, I gotta use my judgement
66
00:03:00,789 --> 00:03:02,377
to determine whether
or not it's appropriate
67
00:03:02,444 --> 00:03:04,926
to write a ticket on a case by case basis,
right?
68
00:03:04,946 --> 00:03:06,981
In your case, I judge it to be appropriate.
69
00:03:07,049 --> 00:03:09,750
I was just diagnosed with
a serious heart condition.
70
00:03:09,818 --> 00:03:12,119
Or maybe it's nothing.
(Sound of glass breaking.)
71
00:03:12,187 --> 00:03:14,354
Hey! Hey! Hey!
72
00:03:14,422 --> 00:03:17,158
You little fucker... shit!
73
00:03:22,830 --> 00:03:24,665
(Panting)
74
00:03:25,346 --> 00:03:27,033
You couldn't have done anything there?
75
00:03:27,068 --> 00:03:30,036
What do you want me to do?
Write the kid a ticket?
76
00:03:30,071 --> 00:03:33,073
- Do you, uh, do you...?
- I'm sorry.
77
00:03:34,832 --> 00:03:39,610
This has been a shitty, shitty day.
78
00:03:39,630 --> 00:03:41,715
This is why we have alcohol...
79
00:03:41,782 --> 00:03:44,050
because of shitty days like this.
80
00:03:44,085 --> 00:03:46,452
Harken to my tale of woe,
81
00:03:46,486 --> 00:03:49,889
it started with the grim reaper
and went downhill from there.
82
00:03:49,924 --> 00:03:53,326
Seriously? Did we finish that cabernet?
Seriously?
83
00:03:53,360 --> 00:03:56,975
I'm drowning my sorrows with Kahlua,
84
00:03:56,995 --> 00:03:58,931
that's the kinda day it's been.
85
00:03:58,998 --> 00:04:02,291
Dav? Davina?
86
00:04:03,439 --> 00:04:06,743
S01E06
The Return of the Other Davina
87
00:04:06,914 --> 00:04:10,404
sync and corrected by ninh
www.addic7ed.com
88
00:04:38,928 --> 00:04:40,938
it's what it says about human nature,
you know?
89
00:04:40,973 --> 00:04:43,562
The traffic cop who gives
out an empathetic smile
90
00:04:43,582 --> 00:04:45,454
with each ticket and the kid
who looks you in the face
91
00:04:45,474 --> 00:04:47,347
when he smashes your car window.
92
00:04:47,367 --> 00:04:50,360
- It's a horrible world.
- And getting worse, apparently.
93
00:04:50,578 --> 00:04:53,173
If I had any courage, I'd kill myself.
94
00:04:53,576 --> 00:04:55,231
How's this week's column, by the way?
95
00:04:55,251 --> 00:04:59,327
Are those two thoughts related?
Your suicidal thoughts and my column?
96
00:04:59,347 --> 00:05:01,358
- Depends on how it's going.
- It's going well.
97
00:05:01,426 --> 00:05:04,027
- Are you expanding the scope?
- Well you know, they say that
98
00:05:04,061 --> 00:05:06,229
every week and I still
have no idea what it means.
99
00:05:06,264 --> 00:05:08,732
- It means make it relatable.
- My columns are relatable.
100
00:05:08,767 --> 00:05:10,701
Yeah, your last one was about streetcars.
101
00:05:10,769 --> 00:05:12,703
And how frustrating they are,
who can't relate to that?
102
00:05:12,771 --> 00:05:14,672
I would think what they're
saying as politely and obliquely
103
00:05:14,773 --> 00:05:16,840
as possible is that your
brand of relatability,
104
00:05:16,874 --> 00:05:18,809
which involves extrapolating
universal meaning
105
00:05:18,876 --> 00:05:20,877
from your own life
experience is getting stale.
106
00:05:20,945 --> 00:05:24,147
So I'm a dull man with a meaningless life,
107
00:05:24,182 --> 00:05:26,216
- is that what you're saying?
- That's what they're saying.
108
00:05:26,284 --> 00:05:28,384
Well that's... hey!
That's that fucking kid!
109
00:05:30,188 --> 00:05:32,222
Stop that shit... hey!
110
00:05:32,746 --> 00:05:34,791
- Fucker.
- God...
111
00:05:35,181 --> 00:05:39,161
Shit. It was the same little bastard.
112
00:05:39,571 --> 00:05:41,731
I... I had contracts in that bag.
113
00:05:41,799 --> 00:05:43,733
- Including mine?
- Probably.
114
00:05:43,801 --> 00:05:46,614
Yeah, well he didn't get away with much,
then.
115
00:05:47,079 --> 00:05:49,934
Come on, let's go to lunch.
116
00:05:50,120 --> 00:05:53,051
Oh fuck, I'm paying now, aren't I?
117
00:05:54,649 --> 00:05:59,248
- Oh my God, is that...?
- It is. It's that piano teacher's bike.
118
00:05:59,268 --> 00:06:02,122
- Remember that prick I told you about?
- Mm-hmm.
119
00:06:02,142 --> 00:06:04,220
And he got a parking ticket!
120
00:06:04,287 --> 00:06:07,689
Thank you, God!
- What are you doing?
121
00:06:07,757 --> 00:06:10,124
Well, in two weeks he'll
find out he got a ticket
122
00:06:10,192 --> 00:06:12,387
and then he'll have to pay
60 bucks instead of 30.
123
00:06:12,407 --> 00:06:15,731
- How mature of you.
- You're right, it's childish.
124
00:06:16,001 --> 00:06:19,701
Maybe I'll just drain the break fluid.
125
00:06:19,769 --> 00:06:22,670
That would be an actual crime,
some kind of murder.
126
00:06:22,704 --> 00:06:26,207
But it would make for a good column, right?
127
00:06:48,925 --> 00:06:51,965
(Al's agent): I don't judge.
A person has to do what they have to do.
128
00:06:51,985 --> 00:06:55,903
And you did it, didn't you?
What you had to do. You left.
129
00:06:55,923 --> 00:06:58,772
Al's just gonna have to deal with it.
130
00:06:58,806 --> 00:07:01,027
And he will. In time.
131
00:07:01,047 --> 00:07:04,311
Anybody coulda seen it coming,
I'm sure Al did.
132
00:07:04,783 --> 00:07:08,300
You're not particularly good
at hiding what's going on in your head.
133
00:07:08,320 --> 00:07:13,653
So, there was a certain amount
of denial going on, on Al's part, I mean.
134
00:07:14,020 --> 00:07:17,526
All he had to do was look at your face.
135
00:07:17,546 --> 00:07:20,259
Take the egg, just the yolk.
136
00:07:20,294 --> 00:07:23,048
Stick it in. Give it a little stir.
137
00:07:24,004 --> 00:07:27,300
Add flour. Stir, stir, stir.
138
00:07:27,334 --> 00:07:29,546
More flour.
139
00:07:30,030 --> 00:07:32,871
And what I do not understand
140
00:07:32,906 --> 00:07:35,607
- is how could you do this to me?
- What?
141
00:07:35,627 --> 00:07:37,176
- You used me.
- No.
142
00:07:37,210 --> 00:07:39,645
He was my piano teacher,
you never would have met him
143
00:07:39,665 --> 00:07:41,730
- if it hadn't been to me.
- I know.
144
00:07:41,750 --> 00:07:43,115
I gave him to you, for Christ's sake.
145
00:07:43,150 --> 00:07:47,525
Well, not exactly.
I... I only took him after you fired him.
146
00:07:47,545 --> 00:07:49,830
That's all you ever do, isn't it?
Take, take, take.
147
00:07:49,850 --> 00:07:52,057
That's not true.
148
00:07:52,091 --> 00:07:55,315
- Frooin.
- Well... what about her?
149
00:07:55,335 --> 00:07:58,530
She was my doll.
I had her first. I named her Frooin.
150
00:07:58,550 --> 00:08:00,499
And just because you're barely
younger and you had to have
151
00:08:00,567 --> 00:08:03,811
your stupid fucking tonsils out,
suddenly you have Frooin.
152
00:08:03,831 --> 00:08:06,156
Well, you didn't want her anyore!
153
00:08:06,176 --> 00:08:08,739
You told mom that you
were too old for dolls.
154
00:08:08,774 --> 00:08:11,494
I was playing the part.
I was being older.
155
00:08:11,514 --> 00:08:13,678
- You are a little bit older.
- Too old for sex,
156
00:08:13,712 --> 00:08:16,614
- is that what you're saying?
- I'm not saying anything!
157
00:08:16,648 --> 00:08:19,650
And you're the younger
one and you always will be
158
00:08:19,718 --> 00:08:23,521
and the younger one can have
anything she fucking wants.
159
00:08:23,555 --> 00:08:26,457
- No. No. No.
- So, tell me.
160
00:08:26,808 --> 00:08:28,811
How is he? Huh? Is he good?
161
00:08:28,831 --> 00:08:30,962
- I'm not going there.
- 'Cause that's what this
162
00:08:31,029 --> 00:08:33,430
is all about, isn't it?
This is your last chance
163
00:08:33,465 --> 00:08:36,000
to really get laid. He wants you
164
00:08:36,067 --> 00:08:37,831
and it's not because you can cook,
165
00:08:37,851 --> 00:08:40,306
or iron, or do online banking.
166
00:08:40,326 --> 00:08:42,039
It's 'cause you can fuck like a rabbit.
167
00:08:42,107 --> 00:08:44,475
You're oversimplifying the situation.
168
00:08:44,542 --> 00:08:46,740
It's impossible to oversimplify
the situation.
169
00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:49,480
It's a simple situation. Tell me something,
170
00:08:49,547 --> 00:08:51,481
while you're lying there,
not correcting him
171
00:08:51,549 --> 00:08:53,550
as his lips land three
inches above your nipples
172
00:08:53,618 --> 00:08:55,552
do you think to yourself
what's going to happen
173
00:08:55,620 --> 00:08:58,287
five years down the road?
When you are forced to hand off
174
00:08:58,355 --> 00:09:01,472
your fucking Frooin to someone younger?
175
00:09:01,758 --> 00:09:03,192
Please, Ron.
176
00:09:03,260 --> 00:09:05,567
This is making me feel
really uncomfortable.
177
00:09:05,587 --> 00:09:09,399
Yeah, well. What about me?
How do you think I feel?
178
00:09:09,466 --> 00:09:11,834
- I'm already there.
- Sorry.
179
00:09:11,854 --> 00:09:13,936
No, don't touch me, just don't touch me.
180
00:09:17,161 --> 00:09:19,531
Why couldn't it have been me?
181
00:09:19,878 --> 00:09:23,146
I was devastated. Obviously.
182
00:09:23,477 --> 00:09:26,348
But what happened wasn't really about you.
183
00:09:29,313 --> 00:09:31,956
You know, all I ever wanted...
184
00:09:32,577 --> 00:09:35,223
I never asked my parents for anything.
185
00:09:35,772 --> 00:09:38,060
Except to be parents.
186
00:09:38,353 --> 00:09:40,595
(Playing everybody hurts by R.E.M.)
187
00:09:43,155 --> 00:09:44,832
(Door opens)
188
00:09:56,412 --> 00:09:59,716
- I used my keys to get in.
- Oh good.
189
00:10:02,098 --> 00:10:05,086
- Really, dad? Are you gonna?
- What?
190
00:10:06,057 --> 00:10:08,988
Well, it's like the
weepiest song ever recorded.
191
00:10:09,008 --> 00:10:10,614
Yes. Yes.
192
00:10:10,634 --> 00:10:13,108
No, seriously. They recorded
it to stop depressed teenagers
193
00:10:13,128 --> 00:10:15,007
from killing themselves.
Should I be worried about you?
194
00:10:15,027 --> 00:10:16,697
Because, I mean,
I am worried about you, but...
195
00:10:16,731 --> 00:10:19,433
- No, I'm fine.
- Great, good.
196
00:10:19,468 --> 00:10:22,336
Then, don't, you know,
indulge in the misery.
197
00:10:22,370 --> 00:10:24,805
Jesus, why don't you stop
pouring salt on the wound?
198
00:10:24,839 --> 00:10:27,040
Maybe, you know, distract yourself
199
00:10:27,075 --> 00:10:29,110
some of that other awful music you like?
200
00:10:29,144 --> 00:10:31,634
Some of that crappy jazz, huh?
How about that?
201
00:10:31,654 --> 00:10:35,082
Remember the day we bought you that bike?
202
00:10:35,116 --> 00:10:38,068
The white rally? Your first ten speed?
203
00:10:38,088 --> 00:10:39,291
Yeah.
204
00:10:39,311 --> 00:10:42,255
We let you ride it home
from the store, remember?
205
00:10:43,113 --> 00:10:46,034
- Yeah.
- That was the day
206
00:10:46,054 --> 00:10:49,496
we bought this record. Well, CD.
207
00:10:49,530 --> 00:10:52,932
This was after vinyl and before stealing.
208
00:10:52,966 --> 00:10:56,980
We stuck it in the car stereo
209
00:10:57,389 --> 00:10:59,939
and followed you home
210
00:10:59,973 --> 00:11:05,077
and were both... just so knocked out.
211
00:11:05,302 --> 00:11:11,250
We... we had this kid who
could ride a big boy bike
212
00:11:11,270 --> 00:11:14,932
and it made us both cry
213
00:11:15,751 --> 00:11:19,015
and that's what this track reminds me of.
214
00:11:31,673 --> 00:11:33,138
Oh no.
215
00:11:34,155 --> 00:11:37,976
Hey, hey. It's ok.
It's ok. (Orlando crying)
216
00:11:39,987 --> 00:11:42,180
Just get it out.
217
00:11:42,656 --> 00:11:44,567
(Roger): At least you were honest with him
218
00:11:44,587 --> 00:11:46,184
you told him exactly what was going on.
219
00:11:46,251 --> 00:11:49,320
- That's a sign of respect.
- Of course...
220
00:11:49,388 --> 00:11:51,723
That was after you lied to him.
221
00:11:51,791 --> 00:11:53,991
After the initial period
of deception, right.
222
00:11:54,059 --> 00:11:56,126
Well, we're all human beings, aren't we?
223
00:11:56,195 --> 00:11:59,654
The important thing is you
told him the truth eventually
224
00:11:59,674 --> 00:12:03,017
and when he asked you to leave, you left.
225
00:12:03,037 --> 00:12:05,656
You respected his wishes.
226
00:12:05,879 --> 00:12:08,406
And now you're with us and
you know you're welcome
227
00:12:08,473 --> 00:12:10,607
to stay as long as you like.
228
00:12:10,942 --> 00:12:13,744
It's very nice having you around.
229
00:12:13,778 --> 00:12:15,913
(Phone rings)
230
00:12:19,417 --> 00:12:21,335
Do you want...
Should I get that?
231
00:12:21,355 --> 00:12:23,823
No, no.
232
00:12:24,605 --> 00:12:26,756
Answering machine:
Hello, you have reached
233
00:12:26,824 --> 00:12:28,825
Roger and Veronica,
but neither of us is able
234
00:12:28,859 --> 00:12:31,961
to answer the phone. Please leave a message
235
00:12:31,995 --> 00:12:34,397
and we will get back to
you when it is convenient.
236
00:12:34,432 --> 00:12:36,799
Thank you for calling, goodbye.
237
00:12:39,494 --> 00:12:42,271
Al: Oh, hi. It's me.
238
00:12:42,683 --> 00:12:44,673
It's Al.
239
00:12:51,955 --> 00:12:53,750
Don't cry.
240
00:12:54,114 --> 00:12:56,963
Don't cry. Don't cry.
241
00:13:02,882 --> 00:13:05,694
- Don't cry.
- I won't, I won't.
242
00:13:07,977 --> 00:13:12,968
So, Olga. Did you get the information?
243
00:13:13,462 --> 00:13:17,239
Ha! Does he make you smile like that?
244
00:13:18,020 --> 00:13:20,208
I'm sorry, sorry. Just erase that.
245
00:13:20,243 --> 00:13:22,450
It's me, just me.
246
00:13:22,984 --> 00:13:25,147
You know how I am with
an elephant in the room.
247
00:13:25,181 --> 00:13:28,150
I climb aboard and ride it around.
248
00:13:30,544 --> 00:13:34,555
- Are you coping?
- What? Do I... do I look
249
00:13:34,590 --> 00:13:37,558
- like someone falling apart?
- No.
250
00:13:37,593 --> 00:13:39,093
- You look good.
- Yes, well,
251
00:13:39,127 --> 00:13:42,997
I'm incredibly strong.
I pretend to be weak and needy
252
00:13:43,031 --> 00:13:45,694
but that's just because
I don't want my friends
253
00:13:45,714 --> 00:13:47,944
to feel inferior.
254
00:13:52,225 --> 00:13:53,801
Your sister?
255
00:13:53,999 --> 00:13:57,782
Oh, it's been a bit of an adjustment,
me crashing there.
256
00:13:58,142 --> 00:14:01,515
- And Roger?
- Oh, he's... he's good.
257
00:14:02,610 --> 00:14:04,811
It's like Mona Lisa moved in.
258
00:14:04,831 --> 00:14:06,520
Yes, well, uh.
259
00:14:06,554 --> 00:14:09,255
Sam has offered to exhibit
some of his artwork.
260
00:14:09,290 --> 00:14:11,991
Ho! Ho! Jesus. What a nightmare.
261
00:14:12,059 --> 00:14:14,127
Oh, it's almost worth us breaking up
262
00:14:14,161 --> 00:14:16,258
so I don't have to see
that smug face again.
263
00:14:16,278 --> 00:14:19,065
Note... note I said almost.
264
00:14:19,133 --> 00:14:22,435
Um, this... this is for you.
265
00:14:23,028 --> 00:14:25,104
It's an invitation to his opening.
266
00:14:25,139 --> 00:14:28,170
Oh, that's too bad.
I have plans for that night.
267
00:14:28,190 --> 00:14:30,844
- I was going to wash...
- Mmm... washing your luggage?
268
00:14:30,878 --> 00:14:33,512
Wash my luggage, yes.
269
00:14:34,304 --> 00:14:36,513
Unless you're going.
270
00:14:37,121 --> 00:14:38,883
I don't know.
271
00:14:39,566 --> 00:14:41,318
Maybe.
272
00:14:42,456 --> 00:14:44,817
With him?
273
00:14:47,101 --> 00:14:50,091
- I should go.
- Come home.
274
00:14:50,397 --> 00:14:52,565
Uh, I'll change.
275
00:14:52,585 --> 00:14:54,372
Anything you want me to be, I'll be.
276
00:14:54,392 --> 00:14:56,568
Anything you don't want me to do, I won't.
277
00:14:56,635 --> 00:14:58,343
If it's because I get
so angry all the time,
278
00:14:58,363 --> 00:15:01,706
I'll stop. I'll meditate.
You can choose my mantra.
279
00:15:01,726 --> 00:15:04,676
Or if it's the hypochondria,
I'm already on it.
280
00:15:04,744 --> 00:15:07,667
I no longer imagine giant
cancers growing in my brain.
281
00:15:07,687 --> 00:15:10,670
Only in my heart.
I'm eliminating the organs
282
00:15:10,690 --> 00:15:12,315
one at a time.
283
00:15:12,335 --> 00:15:16,224
I would do anything for one
more day with you. Anything.
284
00:15:18,433 --> 00:15:20,725
- It's not you.
- Wow.
285
00:15:20,760 --> 00:15:22,960
You're actually saying those words.
Ok. Who is it?
286
00:15:22,995 --> 00:15:25,463
- It's me?
- It's me.
287
00:15:26,532 --> 00:15:29,399
- It is me.
- Great.
288
00:15:30,230 --> 00:15:34,105
- Then we can change together.
- No, look, I... I can't do this.
289
00:15:34,125 --> 00:15:36,507
I can't do this right now.
I want... I wanna go.
290
00:15:36,541 --> 00:15:39,290
Ok, ok. It's ok.
291
00:15:39,960 --> 00:15:43,006
It's... it's fine.
292
00:15:44,173 --> 00:15:47,337
- It's... it's ok.
- Ok.
293
00:15:48,335 --> 00:15:50,387
It's ok.
294
00:15:51,115 --> 00:15:55,247
- You gonna be all right?
- What? Being by myself?
295
00:15:55,267 --> 00:15:57,821
Well, I...
I don't expect to end up that way.
296
00:15:59,015 --> 00:16:00,730
- Oh?
- No.
297
00:16:00,750 --> 00:16:05,001
I'll take out 20 or 30 people with me
when I climb that bell tower
298
00:16:05,021 --> 00:16:07,037
- with my sniper's rifle.
- Don't say that.
299
00:16:07,071 --> 00:16:09,715
I know.
We can't make that joke now, can we?
300
00:16:14,111 --> 00:16:17,313
You're still the person I married.
301
00:16:19,692 --> 00:16:22,051
Even with my new hat?
302
00:16:22,920 --> 00:16:26,422
I love that hat. I think it's great.
303
00:16:27,549 --> 00:16:29,546
It's so you.
304
00:17:21,977 --> 00:17:24,578
(Applause)
305
00:17:27,224 --> 00:17:29,483
What it is is a much needed refresh
306
00:17:29,503 --> 00:17:32,386
of the aesthetic of pop art.
The juxtaposition
307
00:17:32,420 --> 00:17:36,557
of mundane objects and the feminine ideal.
Ah ha!
308
00:17:36,591 --> 00:17:40,394
You've made a statement.
It's not just essential, it's...
309
00:17:40,414 --> 00:17:43,969
- It's... quintessential.
- Ah! Ha! Ha!
310
00:17:43,989 --> 00:17:46,533
I'm sure a lot of thought went
into that outfit he's wearing.
311
00:17:46,600 --> 00:17:50,237
See? That silver lamee
jacket hangs down just enough
312
00:17:50,304 --> 00:17:52,572
to cover his ass,
so you don't see the horseshoe.
313
00:17:52,606 --> 00:17:55,708
Come here. Come here.
Have a look at this.
314
00:17:55,996 --> 00:17:58,978
See? He really can draw.
315
00:17:59,620 --> 00:18:01,684
(Scoffs)
How much is that?
316
00:18:01,704 --> 00:18:04,483
- I'm sorry, it's already sold.
- Really?
317
00:18:04,552 --> 00:18:07,286
- You're absolutely right.
- Well thank you.
318
00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:09,321
Thank you very much.
319
00:18:09,389 --> 00:18:12,380
- Do you do commissions?
- Uh...
320
00:18:22,839 --> 00:18:26,072
(Indie music playing.)
321
00:18:46,515 --> 00:18:49,060
This is what smokers do?
They inhale together?
322
00:18:49,095 --> 00:18:51,362
- Is it mandatory?
- I never knew you, uh...
323
00:18:51,397 --> 00:18:54,732
Oh, I just started. It's been a week.
324
00:18:55,510 --> 00:18:58,069
If he can change, so can I.
325
00:19:03,388 --> 00:19:05,241
You're waiting for her, aren't you?
You're hoping
326
00:19:05,261 --> 00:19:07,277
- to catch a glimpse?
- No, I don't even know
327
00:19:07,312 --> 00:19:09,714
- if she's coming, I mean...
- God, we're pathetic clowns.
328
00:19:09,748 --> 00:19:12,049
- Well, I... I wouldn't...
- We're clowns. The sad kind
329
00:19:12,084 --> 00:19:15,002
- with the mouth that turns down.
- Hobos?
330
00:19:15,022 --> 00:19:16,487
Not hobos.
331
00:19:16,507 --> 00:19:20,124
The clowns with the tears
painted on the faces.
332
00:19:20,464 --> 00:19:22,326
God, when you think about it,
why would anyone release
333
00:19:22,360 --> 00:19:24,394
a creature like that into
a room full of children?
334
00:19:24,429 --> 00:19:27,431
I think, I mean,
if you're actually asking me
335
00:19:27,465 --> 00:19:29,899
and not just ranting,
that the sad clown has its roots
336
00:19:29,934 --> 00:19:32,569
in commedia Dell'art and Pierrot and...
337
00:19:32,604 --> 00:19:34,904
I don't know anything
about commedia Dell'arte.
338
00:19:34,939 --> 00:19:36,640
Pierrot is the naive
simpleton who's in love
339
00:19:36,674 --> 00:19:39,708
with columbine and she breaks his heart
340
00:19:39,728 --> 00:19:41,251
when she leaves him for Harlequin.
341
00:19:41,271 --> 00:19:43,813
Oh, ok. So, you're the sad clown,
342
00:19:43,848 --> 00:19:47,997
I'm the... the dried-up old bitch.
343
00:19:48,233 --> 00:19:51,139
Is there a dried up old
bitch n commedia Dell'arte?
344
00:19:51,159 --> 00:19:53,189
I think Rufiano.
345
00:19:53,209 --> 00:19:56,091
Oh my God.
Can you not recognize sarcasm anymore?
346
00:19:56,126 --> 00:19:59,155
The universe is shitting on us is my point.
347
00:19:59,175 --> 00:20:02,019
The universe shits on some
people and gives other people
348
00:20:02,039 --> 00:20:06,235
art shows and beautiful breasts.
God I hate this.
349
00:20:06,303 --> 00:20:08,839
- This conversation...
- Smoking. I hate smoking.
350
00:20:24,059 --> 00:20:26,020
(Glass breaking)
351
00:20:27,707 --> 00:20:29,291
Hey!
352
00:20:29,325 --> 00:20:31,993
I just bought that you little shit!
353
00:20:34,693 --> 00:20:37,666
Fuck! (Under breath) Little shit!
354
00:20:45,751 --> 00:20:47,709
(Panting)
355
00:20:51,559 --> 00:20:54,248
Argh! Little fucker!
356
00:20:56,723 --> 00:21:00,161
Fuck. Argh! Ah! Ah!
357
00:21:21,139 --> 00:21:23,977
We know this has been
very hard on you, Davina.
358
00:21:23,997 --> 00:21:27,447
You were unhappy.
You were unhappy for so, so long.
359
00:21:27,467 --> 00:21:29,482
But you know what?
You did something about it
360
00:21:29,516 --> 00:21:31,484
- and that's commendable.
- I suppose it is.
361
00:21:31,518 --> 00:21:33,419
Al knows it's better to let you go.
362
00:21:33,454 --> 00:21:35,521
There's no reason to feel
guilty about what you did
363
00:21:35,589 --> 00:21:38,424
with that piano player.
More importantly, what you did
364
00:21:38,492 --> 00:21:40,993
had nothing to do with
what happened subsequently,
365
00:21:41,061 --> 00:21:43,062
to Al in the alley. You know?
366
00:21:43,096 --> 00:21:45,764
We all love you and we respect
367
00:21:45,784 --> 00:21:47,933
the choices that you've made.
Isn't that right?
368
00:21:47,968 --> 00:21:50,716
- Yes, oh yes dear.
- Orlando?
369
00:21:52,255 --> 00:21:54,774
I'm so proud of you.
370
00:21:58,444 --> 00:22:01,650
This is the most pathetic
delusion you've ever had.
371
00:22:01,670 --> 00:22:03,295
It is.
372
00:22:04,176 --> 00:22:07,118
You are this close to being certifiable.
373
00:22:07,153 --> 00:22:10,375
You keep saying "you",
but we're the same person.
374
00:22:10,395 --> 00:22:13,733
No. You're on your own on this one.
375
00:22:17,875 --> 00:22:20,704
- Mrs. Jackson?
- Yes?
376
00:22:22,380 --> 00:22:24,191
Please come with me.
377
00:22:26,450 --> 00:22:28,472
He suffered a myocardial
infarction as a result
378
00:22:28,507 --> 00:22:30,275
of chronic super ventricular arrhythmia.
379
00:22:30,309 --> 00:22:31,943
It's due to elevated arterial plaque.
380
00:22:31,977 --> 00:22:34,112
- And... and that means?
- He needs a percutaneous
381
00:22:34,146 --> 00:22:36,247
transluminal coronal angioplasty.
382
00:22:36,282 --> 00:22:39,856
So, he's... I'm sorry, I...
383
00:22:39,876 --> 00:22:42,090
What I'm saying,
Mrs. Jackson, is don't worry.
384
00:22:42,110 --> 00:22:44,740
You're not going to lose your husband.
385
00:22:52,787 --> 00:22:55,532
A... apparently you have
something unpronounceable.
386
00:22:55,566 --> 00:22:58,997
Ha! I just smile and nod
when they talk to me.
387
00:22:59,017 --> 00:23:01,604
Actually I find it comforting
that they don't bother
388
00:23:01,639 --> 00:23:04,674
to translate the Latin. I figure it's when
389
00:23:04,709 --> 00:23:06,910
they take my hand and talk to me
390
00:23:06,945 --> 00:23:09,598
slowly and quietly in English,
I should worry.
391
00:23:09,618 --> 00:23:11,671
You actually had a heart attack.
392
00:23:11,691 --> 00:23:14,426
Oh.
Now I know what the real thing feels like.
393
00:23:14,446 --> 00:23:17,925
It's different than gas pain,
I won't make that mistake again.
394
00:23:17,945 --> 00:23:21,989
And, bonus,
it's done wonders for my column.
395
00:23:22,009 --> 00:23:24,843
Facing death? That's scope.
That's huge scope.
396
00:23:24,863 --> 00:23:26,662
You... you didn't face death.
397
00:23:26,696 --> 00:23:29,631
- I... I did actua...
- No, no, no. You didn't.
398
00:23:29,666 --> 00:23:32,068
Well, I didn't see lights and a tunnel,
399
00:23:32,102 --> 00:23:35,523
but I think my glasses
fell off when I collapsed.
400
00:23:35,543 --> 00:23:39,795
Oh, which reminds me. You didn't happen
to read my horoscope?
401
00:23:39,815 --> 00:23:42,144
- No.
- No. Why would you?
402
00:23:42,179 --> 00:23:44,980
Ah, well, I'll tell you.
I think I'm beginning
403
00:23:45,047 --> 00:23:50,046
to lose faith in astrology.
I mean, at first it said, uh,
404
00:23:50,066 --> 00:23:53,722
true love is just around the
corner and that was the week
405
00:23:53,757 --> 00:23:56,152
I found out...
406
00:23:56,172 --> 00:23:58,460
And uh... and then it said,
407
00:23:58,528 --> 00:24:02,130
"be prepared for a really big shock."
408
00:24:02,198 --> 00:24:05,967
As if your wife leaving you
for the young Indiana Jones
409
00:24:06,035 --> 00:24:08,739
isn't shock enough already.
410
00:24:09,105 --> 00:24:11,184
Greg and I, um.
411
00:24:12,189 --> 00:24:13,808
We're not...
412
00:24:14,869 --> 00:24:17,144
- Oh.
- I just...
413
00:24:17,805 --> 00:24:20,374
I just wanted...
414
00:24:21,280 --> 00:24:24,218
Look over the garden wall,
415
00:24:24,742 --> 00:24:27,555
see what's on the other side
416
00:24:28,160 --> 00:24:30,071
before it was too late.
417
00:24:32,131 --> 00:24:35,695
And then I thought, you know, I...
418
00:24:38,366 --> 00:24:42,436
maybe I... prefer it here.
419
00:24:44,732 --> 00:24:46,284
Here?
420
00:24:50,511 --> 00:24:53,346
- On this side.
- Well, I don't blame you.
421
00:24:53,366 --> 00:24:56,683
This... you are one infarction
away from inheriting...
422
00:24:56,717 --> 00:25:00,499
Practically nothing, actually.
Come here, come here.
423
00:25:00,710 --> 00:25:03,961
Try out this... luxurious bed.
424
00:25:05,549 --> 00:25:08,394
The sheets are like sandpaper.
425
00:25:08,429 --> 00:25:11,897
Reminds me of that uh, hotel in Miami.
Remember?
426
00:25:12,400 --> 00:25:14,633
And that coral coloured bed?
427
00:25:14,668 --> 00:25:18,034
And you and your sensitive skin.
428
00:25:24,112 --> 00:25:26,244
(Heart monitor beeping.)
429
00:25:31,029 --> 00:25:32,685
(Flatline sound)
430
00:26:08,325 --> 00:26:10,838
sync and corrected by ninh
www.addic7ed.com
431
00:26:10,888 --> 00:26:15,438
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