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1
00:00:02,294 --> 00:00:04,594
- I don't know what to wear.
- Wear anything.
2
00:00:04,596 --> 00:00:07,230
Pride's basically Halloween,
but with empowerment
3
00:00:07,232 --> 00:00:08,765
and dong-shaped water guns.
4
00:00:08,767 --> 00:00:11,834
How about this? It's colourful.
5
00:00:11,836 --> 00:00:15,004
Uh, do you have anything a little
less hetero-sexual pyjama party?
6
00:00:15,006 --> 00:00:17,807
- [sighs]
- No, no, no, Jen.
7
00:00:17,809 --> 00:00:20,443
That is the fifth time your
mom has texted in the last hour.
8
00:00:20,445 --> 00:00:23,880
Since I left, Mom's been signing
her and Dad up for classes.
9
00:00:23,882 --> 00:00:25,581
Line dancing.
10
00:00:25,583 --> 00:00:28,184
What happened to independent
Jen who refused help
11
00:00:28,186 --> 00:00:30,452
setting up our bookcase
and floating shelves?
12
00:00:30,454 --> 00:00:32,588
I'll be quick. There is
no quick with your mother.
13
00:00:32,590 --> 00:00:36,425
There's just slow, slower
and passive-aggressive.
14
00:00:36,427 --> 00:00:37,893
[cell phone ringing]
15
00:00:37,895 --> 00:00:39,395
If you answer that, I'm gonna go
to Pride with your cool cousin,
16
00:00:39,397 --> 00:00:42,130
and leave you here to give your
mom opinions on cowboy boots.
17
00:00:42,132 --> 00:00:44,065
Touch?.
18
00:00:44,067 --> 00:00:47,436
But, I still don't know what to wear.
19
00:00:47,438 --> 00:00:49,104
Perfect!
20
00:00:49,106 --> 00:00:52,450
21
00:00:59,500 --> 00:01:04,500
- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
22
00:01:12,261 --> 00:01:14,862
[groaning] Oh, Mother-of-pearl,
23
00:01:14,864 --> 00:01:17,164
I am never drinking again.
24
00:01:17,166 --> 00:01:20,100
I didn't believe it in uni
and I do not believe it now.
25
00:01:20,102 --> 00:01:23,838
- What happened after the bar?
- We went to a bar?
26
00:01:23,840 --> 00:01:27,407
- We have to do the routine.
- We have to do the routine.
27
00:01:27,409 --> 00:01:31,312
No love-struck randos
hiding under the bed. Check!
28
00:01:31,314 --> 00:01:34,281
No weirdos here. Check!
29
00:01:34,283 --> 00:01:37,117
No regrettable texts to exes. Check!
30
00:01:37,119 --> 00:01:40,687
Our Pride pic with Naomi
got 100 likes, 20 hearts,
31
00:01:40,689 --> 00:01:43,957
17 laughs, 8 wows, and an angry face.
32
00:01:43,959 --> 00:01:46,360
Oh, let's show a "morning after" pic,
33
00:01:46,362 --> 00:01:48,027
showing Naomi and her
gay sisters our support.
34
00:01:51,099 --> 00:01:52,766
BOTH: Naaaahhh...
35
00:01:53,327 --> 00:01:56,200
_
36
00:01:56,538 --> 00:01:59,038
"Hinged over with my grill"?
37
00:01:59,040 --> 00:02:00,907
I am too hinged-over
to get up right now,
38
00:02:00,909 --> 00:02:02,441
but if we're out of coffee,
39
00:02:02,443 --> 00:02:04,344
I will kill someone with my mind.
40
00:02:04,346 --> 00:02:05,611
All good.
41
00:02:05,613 --> 00:02:07,947
We've only used the
coffee grounds three times.
42
00:02:07,949 --> 00:02:11,951
And we are moving slowly. Okay...
43
00:02:16,557 --> 00:02:19,792
LEWIS: Oh, what a great run...
chasing that ice cream truck down.
44
00:02:19,794 --> 00:02:21,494
- Great motivation.
- NATE: Mm-hm.
45
00:02:21,496 --> 00:02:23,863
How are you not hung-over?
46
00:02:23,865 --> 00:02:25,765
What? I drink responsibly.
47
00:02:25,767 --> 00:02:27,400
You threw up three times last night.
48
00:02:27,402 --> 00:02:29,034
Yeah, that's the responsible thing to do
49
00:02:29,036 --> 00:02:31,270
when you're gonna be drinking all night.
50
00:02:31,332 --> 00:02:33,531
[cell phone chimes] _
51
00:02:33,533 --> 00:02:35,434
Jen, if your mom texts one more time,
52
00:02:35,436 --> 00:02:36,969
I'm gonna hurl that phone at Lewis' head
53
00:02:36,971 --> 00:02:39,004
so he knows what pain I'm in.
54
00:02:39,006 --> 00:02:41,639
I missed you last night.
55
00:02:41,641 --> 00:02:42,975
Uh, both of you.
56
00:02:42,977 --> 00:02:44,343
Uh, we missed both of you last night.
57
00:02:44,345 --> 00:02:46,278
Oh, yeah, you guys
missed my performance.
58
00:02:46,280 --> 00:02:48,880
Oh, yeah, he got dragged
on stage with Regina Galour.
59
00:02:48,882 --> 00:02:51,382
I come from a family that's
very open about sexuality.
60
00:02:51,384 --> 00:02:52,884
We used to walk around
naked all the time.
61
00:02:52,886 --> 00:02:54,218
Nate knows. Nate, tell 'em.
62
00:02:54,220 --> 00:02:55,386
LEWIS: Tell 'em, Nate.
63
00:02:55,388 --> 00:02:57,288
Yeah, the only sex talk
I got when I was younger
64
00:02:57,290 --> 00:02:59,557
was when my father caught
me watching "American Pie."
65
00:02:59,559 --> 00:03:01,425
He said that masturbation was okay,
66
00:03:01,427 --> 00:03:03,661
but giving food, baked or otherwise,
67
00:03:03,663 --> 00:03:05,663
the good lovin', was wrong.
68
00:03:05,665 --> 00:03:08,432
At least your family
broached the subject.
69
00:03:08,434 --> 00:03:10,801
What? There was no talk
of the birds and the bees
70
00:03:10,803 --> 00:03:12,503
and the little stingers
71
00:03:12,505 --> 00:03:15,739
in the Wu-Don't-Talk-About-Tang Clan?
72
00:03:15,741 --> 00:03:17,741
Uh, if you mean did my
parents talk about...
73
00:03:17,743 --> 00:03:20,777
[gulps] sex, then, no.
74
00:03:20,779 --> 00:03:23,547
My mom tried to explain it
once with Pok?mon cards.
75
00:03:23,549 --> 00:03:24,815
I can never look at
Squirtle the same way again.
76
00:03:24,817 --> 00:03:26,884
[cell phone ringing]
77
00:03:26,886 --> 00:03:29,185
- Aren't you gonna answer that?
- Nope.
78
00:03:29,187 --> 00:03:31,755
I am an adult and if
I do not want to answer
79
00:03:31,757 --> 00:03:34,457
a phone call from my
mother, I do not have to.
80
00:03:34,459 --> 00:03:35,759
Plus, Mo won't let me.
81
00:03:35,761 --> 00:03:37,060
[phone continues ringing]
82
00:03:37,062 --> 00:03:38,495
We're weaning Jen off her mother.
83
00:03:38,497 --> 00:03:40,497
She gets one call in the
morning, one in the afternoon,
84
00:03:40,499 --> 00:03:41,998
and no more Facebook friendship.
85
00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:43,366
Yo, that's cold.
86
00:03:43,368 --> 00:03:45,868
Actually, I've been
thinking of taking a break
87
00:03:45,870 --> 00:03:47,703
from my mother altogether.
88
00:03:47,705 --> 00:03:49,705
After seeing everyone at Pride so free,
89
00:03:49,707 --> 00:03:51,574
maybe being free of my mother's grip
90
00:03:51,576 --> 00:03:54,110
will allow me to embrace my sexuality.
91
00:03:54,112 --> 00:03:55,745
[gulps]
92
00:03:57,582 --> 00:04:00,049
Uh, it stopped ringing.
93
00:04:00,051 --> 00:04:01,918
Do you think she's okay?
94
00:04:01,920 --> 00:04:04,053
Maybe she's fallen
and can't get back up.
95
00:04:04,055 --> 00:04:05,555
Yeah. [clears throat]
96
00:04:11,863 --> 00:04:13,295
[cell phone camera clicking]
97
00:04:13,297 --> 00:04:14,513
- Dear Christ.
- Really?
98
00:04:14,514 --> 00:04:15,514
Sweet God.
99
00:04:15,515 --> 00:04:18,035
_
100
00:04:18,102 --> 00:04:19,601
[cell phone ringing]
101
00:04:19,602 --> 00:04:23,896
_
102
00:04:24,041 --> 00:04:26,641
Jenny not answering.
103
00:04:26,643 --> 00:04:28,444
She better be dead or I kill her.
104
00:04:28,446 --> 00:04:30,378
Ma, chill. Jen's fine.
105
00:04:30,380 --> 00:04:31,680
She posted a pic this
morning to Facebook.
106
00:04:31,682 --> 00:04:32,881
No, she didn't.
107
00:04:32,883 --> 00:04:36,785
I would have seen it
and made witty comment.
108
00:04:36,787 --> 00:04:38,820
She unfriended me?!
109
00:04:38,822 --> 00:04:41,590
[laughing] Hey, Ma, feel the chill.
110
00:04:41,592 --> 00:04:42,958
She's icing you out.
111
00:04:42,960 --> 00:04:44,459
Give me that.
112
00:04:45,928 --> 00:04:48,262
Why Jenny and Mo in gay march?
113
00:04:48,264 --> 00:04:50,531
Maybe 'cause it's one of the
coolest events of the summer
114
00:04:50,533 --> 00:04:52,100
that everyone goes to,
115
00:04:52,102 --> 00:04:54,001
unless their mother makes them stay home
116
00:04:54,003 --> 00:04:55,603
to take the tips off of beans.
117
00:04:55,605 --> 00:04:58,639
Fine. I force her to
talk traditional way...
118
00:04:58,641 --> 00:05:01,775
guilt and food.
119
00:05:01,777 --> 00:05:03,110
[cell phone ringing]
120
00:05:03,112 --> 00:05:04,311
[phone clicks]
121
00:05:04,313 --> 00:05:08,649
Jenny, it's your mommy.
How are you sweetheart?
122
00:05:08,651 --> 00:05:10,084
You need to come home for dinner.
123
00:05:10,086 --> 00:05:11,685
Bring lots of friends.
124
00:05:11,687 --> 00:05:15,723
Daddy and I have big surprise for you!
125
00:05:15,725 --> 00:05:17,390
I hate this answering machine!
126
00:05:20,028 --> 00:05:22,295
[cell phone chimes]
127
00:05:22,297 --> 00:05:24,864
"Come over for dinner
tonight. Very important."
128
00:05:24,866 --> 00:05:28,401
Ugh, please tell me that is
the hot fireman from last night,
129
00:05:28,403 --> 00:05:30,137
then please tell me he's bisexual.
130
00:05:30,139 --> 00:05:32,172
Nope, still your mom.
131
00:05:32,174 --> 00:05:35,842
- [cell phone chimes]
- [sighing]
132
00:05:35,844 --> 00:05:38,678
"Need to tell you something
big when you're here.
133
00:05:38,680 --> 00:05:40,179
Face with face."
134
00:05:40,181 --> 00:05:41,948
That's the exact text I got
when my parents split up.
135
00:05:41,949 --> 00:05:42,849
What?
136
00:05:43,151 --> 00:05:44,951
No way. She probably
just wants to tell you
137
00:05:44,953 --> 00:05:46,653
about some celebrity she thinks she saw.
138
00:05:46,655 --> 00:05:48,187
I don't care what your mom says...
139
00:05:48,189 --> 00:05:49,722
Michelle Pfeiffer does not have
140
00:05:49,724 --> 00:05:51,290
a "live, laugh, love"
tattoo on her lower back.
141
00:05:51,292 --> 00:05:53,292
What if she's sick? What if she's dying?
142
00:05:53,294 --> 00:05:55,194
Do you really want my
mother's blood on your hands?
143
00:05:55,196 --> 00:05:57,629
Your mom's not gonna die
after one day of neglect, Jen.
144
00:05:57,631 --> 00:05:59,831
- She's not a Tamagotchi.
- [cell phone chimes]
145
00:05:59,833 --> 00:06:02,535
No, no, no, dude. Do not answer that.
146
00:06:02,537 --> 00:06:07,239
"Special dinner. Bring friends
for support. Mommy make fish soup."
147
00:06:07,241 --> 00:06:09,641
Oh, dinner with your
family? Sounds lovely.
148
00:06:09,643 --> 00:06:12,744
A hot meal with your
hot mom? Yeah, we're in.
149
00:06:12,746 --> 00:06:14,345
NATE: [crunches]
150
00:06:14,346 --> 00:06:17,846
_
151
00:06:18,318 --> 00:06:21,152
Oh, man, I'm so excited
for your mom's fish soup.
152
00:06:21,154 --> 00:06:23,422
Hey, you think before you break
off all communication with her,
153
00:06:23,424 --> 00:06:26,424
she could email us the recipe?
154
00:06:26,426 --> 00:06:27,959
Jen, what's wrong?
155
00:06:27,961 --> 00:06:29,194
Normally, when I make
light of your mommy issues,
156
00:06:29,196 --> 00:06:30,595
you roll your eyes at me.
157
00:06:30,597 --> 00:06:34,665
Uh, I just realized, I am sort of like
158
00:06:34,667 --> 00:06:37,735
I'm breaking up... with my mother.
159
00:06:37,737 --> 00:06:40,071
Okay, now you're just begging for
me to make light of your issues.
160
00:06:40,073 --> 00:06:41,739
Maybe it won't be a big deal.
161
00:06:41,741 --> 00:06:42,874
I mean, I'm just asking for space.
162
00:06:42,876 --> 00:06:45,843
Maybe she'll understand.
163
00:06:45,845 --> 00:06:49,313
- Yeah, okay, I deserve that one.
- Mm-hm.
164
00:06:49,315 --> 00:06:51,982
LEWIS: Buddy, I am so excited
for homemade Chinese food...
165
00:06:51,984 --> 00:06:54,218
although, do they call it Chinese food?
166
00:06:54,220 --> 00:06:55,986
Or do they just call it food?
167
00:06:55,988 --> 00:06:58,222
That was a nice, dumb
joke. What's going on?
168
00:06:58,224 --> 00:07:00,424
Lewis, I just realized that
I'm about to meet Jen's parents.
169
00:07:00,426 --> 00:07:01,992
So what? Parents love you.
170
00:07:01,994 --> 00:07:04,261
You're clean, you're
smart, you're employed.
171
00:07:04,263 --> 00:07:05,729
You don't make dumb jokes like this guy.
172
00:07:05,731 --> 00:07:06,698
Yeah, but it's all out of order.
173
00:07:06,700 --> 00:07:07,865
Okay, you don't meet the parents,
174
00:07:07,867 --> 00:07:10,101
- unless you know that the girl likes you.
- So?
175
00:07:10,213 --> 00:07:12,046
Well, I haven't told
her that I like her,
176
00:07:12,048 --> 00:07:13,747
and I have no idea if she likes me.
177
00:07:13,749 --> 00:07:15,415
I don't think I like you right now.
178
00:07:15,417 --> 00:07:18,017
Another dumb joke, right?
179
00:07:18,019 --> 00:07:20,286
Listen, so what if the
things are out of order.
180
00:07:20,288 --> 00:07:21,688
Maybe it's a blessing.
181
00:07:21,690 --> 00:07:23,523
Look, Jen is tight
with her family, right?
182
00:07:23,525 --> 00:07:25,826
So, why don't you
just woo the older Wus,
183
00:07:25,828 --> 00:07:28,729
and then that way you
can woo the younger Wu.
184
00:07:28,731 --> 00:07:30,696
All right, that was
dumb, too, wasn't it?
185
00:07:30,698 --> 00:07:33,132
- You've had dumber.
- Mmmm.
186
00:07:33,134 --> 00:07:35,201
Hey, what's with all this, by the way?
187
00:07:35,203 --> 00:07:36,769
My dad always said
that to impress a lady,
188
00:07:36,771 --> 00:07:38,972
impress her parents.
189
00:07:38,974 --> 00:07:40,439
Hey!
190
00:07:40,441 --> 00:07:42,775
Uh, you do know white flowers
191
00:07:42,777 --> 00:07:44,878
signify death in Asian cultures, right?
192
00:07:46,114 --> 00:07:49,114
Okay, Wu family protocol.
193
00:07:49,116 --> 00:07:51,484
Personal pride is very
important in Chinese culture,
194
00:07:51,486 --> 00:07:55,320
so me asking for space from
my mom is going to be big.
195
00:07:55,322 --> 00:07:58,323
There's gonna be a
lot of silent judging.
196
00:07:58,325 --> 00:08:01,026
[doorbell ringing]
197
00:08:01,028 --> 00:08:03,395
Jenny! Why you standing out here
198
00:08:03,397 --> 00:08:05,297
like you're about to rob the place?
199
00:08:05,299 --> 00:08:08,267
Soup getting cold. Come in! Aiya!
200
00:08:08,269 --> 00:08:10,402
Sounds like pretty loud judgment to me.
201
00:08:22,649 --> 00:08:26,951
I so happy to see your diverse
friends so accepting of you.
202
00:08:26,953 --> 00:08:28,787
And thank you for the wine, Nathan.
203
00:08:30,590 --> 00:08:32,857
Not sure why you thought
it was better than mine,
204
00:08:32,859 --> 00:08:35,527
but thank you.
205
00:08:35,529 --> 00:08:37,962
Uh, and everything
here just looks, um...
206
00:08:37,964 --> 00:08:40,031
delicious.
207
00:08:40,033 --> 00:08:42,900
It's fish soup. Jenny's favorite.
208
00:08:42,902 --> 00:08:44,835
Although, maybe not anymore.
209
00:08:44,837 --> 00:08:46,570
So many changes in her life
210
00:08:46,572 --> 00:08:48,105
she keep to herself,
211
00:08:48,107 --> 00:08:50,975
even though mommy breast-fed
her until she was three.
212
00:08:55,614 --> 00:08:57,213
Come to think of it,
213
00:08:57,215 --> 00:08:59,082
Jenny has always loved the boob.
214
00:08:59,084 --> 00:09:01,251
Hey, I get it.
215
00:09:01,253 --> 00:09:02,619
Me, too.
216
00:09:02,621 --> 00:09:04,020
Eyes on the rice.
217
00:09:08,494 --> 00:09:11,461
You know, Mr. Wu, uh, I
barely know anything about you.
218
00:09:11,463 --> 00:09:13,596
Tell me a little about yourself.
219
00:09:13,598 --> 00:09:16,399
[crickets chirping]
220
00:09:21,706 --> 00:09:23,806
Ma, I really need to talk to you.
221
00:09:23,808 --> 00:09:27,176
Oh, now you want to talk,
now that it's convenient.
222
00:09:27,178 --> 00:09:29,378
I don't know, maybe I should turn up
223
00:09:29,380 --> 00:09:31,413
the thermostat 'cause
I'm feeling iced out.
224
00:09:31,415 --> 00:09:32,882
[laughs]
225
00:09:45,229 --> 00:09:47,796
I'm sorry, are we... ?
We're not gonna... ? No?
226
00:09:47,798 --> 00:09:49,764
There's a fish head in that bowl, man!
227
00:10:05,215 --> 00:10:08,550
Jen, you need to talk to your
mom about the phone blasting.
228
00:10:08,552 --> 00:10:10,385
You know, she's only
had half a glass of wine.
229
00:10:10,387 --> 00:10:12,654
Maybe we should wait
'til she's done the full.
230
00:10:12,656 --> 00:10:17,058
Hello, second-favorite child and Mo.
231
00:10:17,060 --> 00:10:21,996
Mrs. Wu, Jen has something
she needs to tell you.
232
00:10:21,998 --> 00:10:25,433
Ma, mother dearest,
you might not like...
233
00:10:25,435 --> 00:10:28,736
Mommy knows all. Don't worry, Jenny.
234
00:10:28,738 --> 00:10:30,438
Really?
235
00:10:30,440 --> 00:10:31,805
And you're okay with it?
236
00:10:31,807 --> 00:10:33,807
What do you think this big dinner for?
237
00:10:33,809 --> 00:10:36,810
I may not like, but I accept.
238
00:10:36,812 --> 00:10:38,946
Thanks, Mom.
239
00:10:38,948 --> 00:10:42,516
Are you going to get your
hair cut like Justin Bieber?
240
00:10:42,518 --> 00:10:43,817
Uh, what?
241
00:10:43,819 --> 00:10:46,587
No need to pretend for Jen anymore, Mo.
242
00:10:46,589 --> 00:10:49,889
I'll leave you two... alone.
243
00:10:51,660 --> 00:10:54,594
Oh, my God, does my mom think I'm gay?
244
00:10:54,596 --> 00:10:56,996
No, she thinks we're gay.
245
00:11:09,661 --> 00:11:12,229
Lewis, I really don't like the
way that Mr. Wu's looking at me.
246
00:11:12,231 --> 00:11:15,665
It's like he... it's like he knows
I have a crush on his daughter.
247
00:11:15,667 --> 00:11:18,067
Well, yeah, he's just
being protective of her,
248
00:11:18,069 --> 00:11:19,802
from, you know, the White Devil.
249
00:11:19,804 --> 00:11:22,138
- No offence.
- None taken.
250
00:11:22,140 --> 00:11:23,206
Look, I just don't know what to do.
251
00:11:23,208 --> 00:11:25,442
The last thing I wanna
do is come off stupid.
252
00:11:25,444 --> 00:11:28,211
My dad loves mahjong.
253
00:11:28,213 --> 00:11:29,846
It's not a bad idea.
254
00:11:29,848 --> 00:11:33,116
- Remember how much I used to play in university?
- No.
255
00:11:33,118 --> 00:11:35,584
- With da_creep_69.
- Oh, yeah. How is that guy?
256
00:11:35,586 --> 00:11:39,588
- He's actually under house arrest.
- That is so da_creep.
257
00:11:39,590 --> 00:11:40,723
All right, I'm gonna get in there.
258
00:11:40,725 --> 00:11:42,759
Hey, you got this, all right?
259
00:11:43,962 --> 00:11:45,762
[whooshing]
260
00:11:48,232 --> 00:11:51,300
Mr. Wu, that is a
gorgeous picture of Jen.
261
00:11:51,302 --> 00:11:54,570
She's got such beautiful
eyes and those chubby cheeks.
262
00:11:54,572 --> 00:11:56,572
That's me.
263
00:11:56,574 --> 00:11:58,173
Right.
264
00:11:59,443 --> 00:12:02,278
You know, before we get
started, I just wanted to say
265
00:12:02,280 --> 00:12:04,179
thank you so much for
having me in your home.
266
00:12:04,181 --> 00:12:06,114
You know, I think it's the perfect
time to get to know you guys.
267
00:12:06,116 --> 00:12:07,749
You know, Harold, you seem
to know what you're doing.
268
00:12:07,751 --> 00:12:09,217
Have you been playing this game long?
269
00:12:09,219 --> 00:12:10,952
My dad doesn't talk during mahjong.
270
00:12:10,954 --> 00:12:12,921
It breaks his concentration.
271
00:12:12,923 --> 00:12:14,923
Normally, you can't
get this guy to shut up.
272
00:12:17,861 --> 00:12:21,296
Well, let's, uh, how about
we start matching tiles.
273
00:12:21,298 --> 00:12:23,398
We need a fourth.
274
00:12:23,400 --> 00:12:26,534
Yeah, you know what?
Uh, you're so right.
275
00:12:26,536 --> 00:12:29,203
You guys wait here and I'm
gonna go grab that fourth.
276
00:12:29,205 --> 00:12:32,640
And then, uh, we'll mahjong it up!
277
00:12:32,642 --> 00:12:34,309
[laughs]
278
00:12:34,311 --> 00:12:36,678
[crickets chirping]
279
00:12:41,617 --> 00:12:43,851
I know, right?
280
00:12:44,852 --> 00:12:47,852
_
281
00:12:48,357 --> 00:12:51,591
Listen, everyone, we have
a very serious situation.
282
00:12:51,593 --> 00:12:53,294
My mom thinks I'm gay.
283
00:12:53,296 --> 00:12:54,961
Probably because you
guys posted all those
284
00:12:54,963 --> 00:12:57,331
pics of cuddling all over the
place... like on the porch.
285
00:12:57,333 --> 00:12:59,065
- In the hammock.
- In the tub.
286
00:12:59,067 --> 00:13:01,100
- You guys cuddled a lot that night.
- Yeah.
287
00:13:01,102 --> 00:13:03,269
I know. I already unfriended her online.
288
00:13:03,271 --> 00:13:05,339
But you didn't unfriend Eric.
289
00:13:05,341 --> 00:13:06,773
Nor should you. I like him.
290
00:13:06,775 --> 00:13:08,508
Eric's a great guy.
291
00:13:08,510 --> 00:13:12,111
All I wanted was to slightly
insinuate my sexual empowerment,
292
00:13:12,113 --> 00:13:14,247
and now this is a freakin' mess.
293
00:13:14,249 --> 00:13:17,516
Hello, rainbow spectrum of people.
294
00:13:17,518 --> 00:13:19,319
Ma, we're not gay.
295
00:13:19,321 --> 00:13:23,957
Oh, Jenny, Mommy saw pictures
you posted. Totally accepting.
296
00:13:23,959 --> 00:13:26,159
Even like the ones
with double chin pose.
297
00:13:26,161 --> 00:13:28,627
I don't have a double chin.
I just have a soft jaw.
298
00:13:28,629 --> 00:13:31,530
Was talking about Jenny. You need
to have chin to have double chin.
299
00:13:33,901 --> 00:13:37,169
Jenny, I am 100%
understanding of gayness,
300
00:13:37,171 --> 00:13:38,704
and now that the truth is out,
301
00:13:38,706 --> 00:13:43,275
Jenny doesn't have to ignore mommy
anymore and we can talk every day.
302
00:13:46,780 --> 00:13:48,747
I never thought it'd be so
hard to come out as straight.
303
00:13:48,749 --> 00:13:50,849
I'm sure there's a
support group for that.
304
00:13:50,851 --> 00:13:53,252
It's not like there's
anything wrong with being gay.
305
00:13:53,254 --> 00:13:54,686
I'm just not into the...
306
00:13:54,688 --> 00:13:56,121
Lady parts?
307
00:13:56,123 --> 00:13:58,123
Actions speak louder than words.
308
00:13:58,125 --> 00:14:01,058
We are going to show
her that we are not gay,
309
00:14:01,060 --> 00:14:02,694
by acting all loving and
crap with Nate and Lewis.
310
00:14:02,696 --> 00:14:04,362
Dibs on Nate!
311
00:14:04,364 --> 00:14:06,230
I really don't think you're
understanding this plan.
312
00:14:06,232 --> 00:14:08,199
Fine, dibs on Jen's hot mom.
313
00:14:08,201 --> 00:14:09,801
Can we just discuss this for a second?
314
00:14:09,803 --> 00:14:13,471
I don't think my... our first
impression should be that of a lie.
315
00:14:13,473 --> 00:14:16,240
Jen, just one... Why'd you touch me?
316
00:14:16,242 --> 00:14:18,876
- So, I guess that makes us...
- No.
317
00:14:18,878 --> 00:14:20,711
- No, eh?
- No.
318
00:14:30,523 --> 00:14:32,023
[self-conscious laugh]
319
00:14:35,294 --> 00:14:37,360
How about we play this
game of mahjong, huh?
320
00:14:37,362 --> 00:14:41,865
You know, Nate, I never
noticed how soft your hands are.
321
00:14:41,867 --> 00:14:43,901
I do use a lot of lotion,
you know, to moisturize.
322
00:14:46,439 --> 00:14:48,872
My hands are like sandpaper.
323
00:14:48,874 --> 00:14:52,309
You know, I love it when
you talk moisture to me.
324
00:14:52,311 --> 00:14:54,311
What about you, girl, you
wanna get outta here and like
325
00:14:54,313 --> 00:14:56,212
go to the movies or something?
326
00:14:56,214 --> 00:14:58,315
Golly, no, let's just go
straight to Make-out Point.
327
00:14:58,317 --> 00:15:01,318
I hear the T-birds are racing the Jets.
328
00:15:01,320 --> 00:15:03,719
Hey, Nate, you wanna
like trade it up here?
329
00:15:03,721 --> 00:15:05,455
- [doorbell ringing]
- I'll get that.
330
00:15:05,457 --> 00:15:07,557
Nope! Stay!
331
00:15:07,559 --> 00:15:09,625
Right on time.
332
00:15:09,627 --> 00:15:12,261
You're my guest.
333
00:15:12,263 --> 00:15:13,930
[urgently, quietly] Jen, please...
334
00:15:13,932 --> 00:15:17,900
MA: Come on in. [speaking Cantonese]
335
00:15:17,902 --> 00:15:21,971
Ladies, how are those
post-Pride hangovers doing?
336
00:15:21,973 --> 00:15:26,408
Jen, it's your gay cousin Naomi.
337
00:15:26,410 --> 00:15:28,344
[self-conscious laugh]
338
00:15:30,345 --> 00:15:32,545
_
339
00:15:37,455 --> 00:15:40,388
Oh, my God, how are you
still drinking right now?
340
00:15:40,390 --> 00:15:43,291
When I left you last night,
you were tits-deep in bar rail.
341
00:15:43,293 --> 00:15:44,860
Naomi, listen...
342
00:15:44,862 --> 00:15:46,227
No, you listen...
343
00:15:46,229 --> 00:15:48,096
You two need to respect yourselves
344
00:15:48,098 --> 00:15:49,330
and accept who you are,
345
00:15:49,332 --> 00:15:51,766
before others can accept who you are.
346
00:15:51,768 --> 00:15:53,735
Right. The thing is I'm...
347
00:15:53,737 --> 00:15:54,836
We're...
348
00:15:54,838 --> 00:15:58,172
Not gay? I know.
349
00:15:58,174 --> 00:15:59,807
What's going on?
350
00:15:59,809 --> 00:16:01,742
[self-conscious laugh]
351
00:16:01,744 --> 00:16:03,411
You know, you're gonna laugh.
352
00:16:03,413 --> 00:16:05,146
It's a really funny story.
353
00:16:05,148 --> 00:16:06,814
Sexuality is not a joke, Jen.
354
00:16:06,816 --> 00:16:09,817
I know.
355
00:16:09,819 --> 00:16:12,486
Ma just won't let go, okay?
356
00:16:12,488 --> 00:16:14,388
So, I cut her out. Cold turkey.
357
00:16:14,390 --> 00:16:17,791
No calls, texts, emails, and
you know how our family is.
358
00:16:17,793 --> 00:16:20,628
Things just kind of
spiralled out of control.
359
00:16:20,630 --> 00:16:24,064
Okay, so, you're upset because
Auntie loves you too much?
360
00:16:24,066 --> 00:16:25,799
And thinks she likes lady parts.
361
00:16:25,801 --> 00:16:27,234
Okay, stop saying "lady parts."
362
00:16:27,236 --> 00:16:28,735
[whispers] Never.
363
00:16:28,737 --> 00:16:31,371
Come on. No, she was calling
me like three times a day.
364
00:16:31,373 --> 00:16:33,507
I wish my mom would call me.
365
00:16:33,509 --> 00:16:34,607
When I came out to my parents,
366
00:16:34,609 --> 00:16:36,776
my dad said I should
have gone to church more,
367
00:16:36,778 --> 00:16:38,778
and my mom said, "You'll change."
368
00:16:41,216 --> 00:16:42,682
Why didn't you tell me that?
369
00:16:42,684 --> 00:16:46,252
It's not the sort of thing
our family talks about.
370
00:16:46,254 --> 00:16:48,521
But, the fact that
Auntie invited me here
371
00:16:48,523 --> 00:16:52,926
means so more than some
post-Pride selfie ever could.
372
00:16:52,928 --> 00:16:55,628
Your mom's cool. Check
your privilege, squirt.
373
00:16:58,166 --> 00:17:01,034
Does your dad ever shut up? [kisses]
374
00:17:03,604 --> 00:17:05,637
You think she wants her soup?
375
00:17:14,992 --> 00:17:16,457
What is this? Conference hallway?
376
00:17:16,459 --> 00:17:17,791
Man, this is getting outta hand.
377
00:17:17,793 --> 00:17:19,160
Mr. Wu just watched his daughter
378
00:17:19,162 --> 00:17:20,528
drape herself over me like a fur coat.
379
00:17:20,530 --> 00:17:21,862
- Yeah, that was a bit much.
- Right?
380
00:17:21,864 --> 00:17:24,065
Um, yeah, for sure. Listen,
forget about her, all right?
381
00:17:24,067 --> 00:17:25,566
You're trying too hard.
382
00:17:25,568 --> 00:17:27,535
All you gotta do is
challenge him to something
383
00:17:27,537 --> 00:17:29,770
that you know that you can
beat him at to show your worth.
384
00:17:29,772 --> 00:17:32,506
Like, uh, like chugging a beer.
385
00:17:32,508 --> 00:17:35,108
- You and I both know I can't do that.
- Still?
386
00:17:35,110 --> 00:17:36,944
- Never.
- Right.
387
00:17:36,946 --> 00:17:38,378
I'm just gonna get in there
and just spill the beans
388
00:17:38,380 --> 00:17:39,613
and tell the truth.
People like the truth.
389
00:17:39,615 --> 00:17:42,016
No, Nate. No, they don't.
390
00:17:42,018 --> 00:17:43,817
Jen, if...
391
00:17:45,755 --> 00:17:47,454
[exhaling]
392
00:17:47,456 --> 00:17:50,223
Ma, Dad, I have something to say.
393
00:17:50,225 --> 00:17:52,692
Everyone, I have something
to say, if I could.
394
00:17:52,694 --> 00:17:53,960
Sorry, Jen.
395
00:17:53,962 --> 00:17:56,263
I'm not really Jen's boyfriend.
396
00:17:56,265 --> 00:17:58,398
I'm rather acting as her gay beard.
397
00:17:58,400 --> 00:18:01,234
Don't be silly. You have no beard.
398
00:18:01,236 --> 00:18:02,802
I couldn't grow one, if
I tried, but really...
399
00:18:02,804 --> 00:18:05,304
Nate! It's fine, really.
400
00:18:05,306 --> 00:18:09,008
- No, Jen, you need to talk...
- Talk to my mom.
401
00:18:09,010 --> 00:18:11,010
You're right.
402
00:18:11,012 --> 00:18:15,081
- Ma, can we talk?
- Fine.
403
00:18:15,083 --> 00:18:19,986
Walking for secret talk is good
exercise for Jenny's wide calves.
404
00:18:22,823 --> 00:18:24,423
So, you're not gay?
405
00:18:24,425 --> 00:18:25,924
Saw you in diapers.
406
00:18:28,529 --> 00:18:30,429
Naomi, what's up, girl?
407
00:18:30,431 --> 00:18:31,897
'Sup, Lewis?
408
00:18:31,899 --> 00:18:34,533
Heard you got dragged on stage
with Regina Galour last night.
409
00:18:34,535 --> 00:18:35,534
Nice.
410
00:18:35,536 --> 00:18:36,935
Yeah, would have been nicer if you
411
00:18:36,937 --> 00:18:38,670
were up there with me, though, right?
412
00:18:38,672 --> 00:18:40,438
You know I'm gay, right?
413
00:18:40,440 --> 00:18:42,841
[laughing] Challenge accepted.
414
00:18:42,843 --> 00:18:44,242
- No.
- LEWIS: No?
415
00:18:44,244 --> 00:18:46,778
No. Are you gonna play or
are you just gonna talk?
416
00:18:46,780 --> 00:18:48,346
I'm sorry I've been ignoring you.
417
00:18:48,348 --> 00:18:49,948
I just need space.
418
00:18:49,950 --> 00:18:52,017
Who else I talk to?
419
00:18:52,109 --> 00:18:55,109
Eric, teenager. Only like sneakers.
420
00:18:55,111 --> 00:18:59,013
So many coloured sneakers,
but only two feet.
421
00:18:59,015 --> 00:19:00,848
What about your classes with Dad?
422
00:19:00,850 --> 00:19:02,650
He doesn't care about those.
423
00:19:02,652 --> 00:19:06,221
Only comes to complain about
taxes with other old men.
424
00:19:06,223 --> 00:19:08,590
I appreciate you. I do, really.
425
00:19:08,592 --> 00:19:12,292
I just wish that you would
talk with me, instead of at me.
426
00:19:12,294 --> 00:19:15,062
Maybe we can be more open
now that I am an adult.
427
00:19:15,064 --> 00:19:18,999
You always be my baby, Jen.
428
00:19:19,001 --> 00:19:23,570
I worry. So many ways to die.
429
00:19:23,572 --> 00:19:26,073
I'm pretty sure one of
those ways is smothering.
430
00:19:26,075 --> 00:19:28,975
Maybe I need to call only once a day.
431
00:19:28,977 --> 00:19:32,112
I was thinking more like once a week.
432
00:19:32,114 --> 00:19:37,117
Doctors say baby Jen's head three times
433
00:19:37,119 --> 00:19:39,653
the normal size of regular nice baby.
434
00:19:39,655 --> 00:19:42,322
Oh! The pain!
435
00:19:42,324 --> 00:19:44,991
- Every other day?
- Deal!
436
00:19:44,993 --> 00:19:48,294
- And you re-friend me online.
- Deal.
437
00:19:48,296 --> 00:19:50,196
Let me take down a
couple of pictures first.
438
00:19:50,198 --> 00:19:53,633
I knew you were not gay.
439
00:19:53,635 --> 00:19:55,635
Mo, still confusing.
440
00:20:00,675 --> 00:20:04,176
[laughing] Mahjong!
441
00:20:04,178 --> 00:20:06,078
- OTHERS: No.
- NAOMI: Not quite.
442
00:20:06,080 --> 00:20:09,482
No? I... [sighing]
443
00:20:09,484 --> 00:20:10,816
Thanks for the talk, Naomes.
444
00:20:10,818 --> 00:20:13,786
Yes, you good girl.
445
00:20:13,788 --> 00:20:17,689
You come and talk about
gay people thing any time.
446
00:20:17,691 --> 00:20:20,358
Wow, that's both wrong
and kind, somehow.
447
00:20:20,360 --> 00:20:21,794
Motto of our family.
448
00:20:26,466 --> 00:20:29,501
No wine for me, thank you, though.
449
00:20:29,503 --> 00:20:31,403
- [speaking Cantonese]
- ALL: Ohhhh.
450
00:20:31,405 --> 00:20:35,273
[speaking Cantonese]
451
00:20:35,275 --> 00:20:36,908
Hey, guys, look what I found.
452
00:20:36,910 --> 00:20:38,876
There's a reason we hid that.
453
00:20:38,878 --> 00:20:41,813
Hey, uh, Naomi, we can sing our song.
454
00:20:41,815 --> 00:20:44,649
Yes, except we don't have one, Lewis.
455
00:20:44,651 --> 00:20:46,685
Let's make one then, okay?
456
00:20:46,687 --> 00:20:48,320
[clearing throat]
457
00:20:50,690 --> 00:20:54,558
Are we gonna do a duet or...
458
00:20:54,560 --> 00:20:58,162
[sighing]
459
00:20:58,164 --> 00:21:02,900
Stay and watch the moon a-glow
460
00:21:02,902 --> 00:21:05,569
Come on and sway to and fro
461
00:21:08,094 --> 00:21:11,463
When we first married, Daddy
and I were like rabbits.
462
00:21:11,465 --> 00:21:13,231
Actually, his sexual appetite
463
00:21:13,233 --> 00:21:16,200
has kept up with his food
appetite... at his age.
464
00:21:16,202 --> 00:21:17,801
Good thing I work out,
465
00:21:17,803 --> 00:21:19,337
otherwise I wouldn't be able to keep up.
466
00:21:19,339 --> 00:21:21,505
Anyway, that's not why I called.
467
00:21:21,507 --> 00:21:24,876
Oh, so much has happened since
I spoke to you two days ago.
468
00:21:24,878 --> 00:21:27,345
Wow, Mom, that's really interesting.
469
00:21:27,347 --> 00:21:30,581
So interesting. You should
keep telling Jen about it.
470
00:21:30,583 --> 00:21:31,948
Is that you, Mo?
471
00:21:31,950 --> 00:21:35,018
Mo, you should take
down your cleavage shots.
472
00:21:35,020 --> 00:21:36,787
I notice Eric looking at them,
473
00:21:36,789 --> 00:21:39,055
and he gets that look in his eye.
474
00:21:39,057 --> 00:21:41,324
Reminds me of the look your father gets
475
00:21:41,326 --> 00:21:44,628
- after he watches a...
- [dryer door slams]
476
00:21:44,630 --> 00:21:47,230
[Ma continues chattering indistinctly]
477
00:21:51,036 --> 00:21:54,337
For more "Second Jen," visit citytv.com.
478
00:21:54,338 --> 00:21:59,338
- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
479
00:21:59,388 --> 00:22:03,938
Repair and Synchronization by
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