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1
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[Nasally]
Amazing grace
2
00:00:04,803 --> 00:00:08,171
How sweet, yeah, the sooo...
3
00:00:08,206 --> 00:00:10,640
There's a warble in the mike.
Are you picking up on that?
4
00:00:10,675 --> 00:00:12,742
Are you planning on singing?
5
00:00:12,778 --> 00:00:14,044
No, no, no, no.
6
00:00:14,079 --> 00:00:15,512
I just want to be prepared
for all possibilities, so...
7
00:00:15,547 --> 00:00:16,913
Hey! Oh, my God. No, you're early!
8
00:00:16,948 --> 00:00:18,348
This isn't what it's
gonna look like, okay?
9
00:00:18,383 --> 00:00:20,383
This is all gonna be top shelf.
10
00:00:20,419 --> 00:00:22,252
And there's gonna be
a water-bottle display
11
00:00:22,287 --> 00:00:23,653
on each of the three pillars,
12
00:00:23,688 --> 00:00:25,321
and I've hired this woman
to literally walk around
13
00:00:25,357 --> 00:00:26,656
and create small-talk.
14
00:00:26,691 --> 00:00:28,158
I got some big news for the both of us.
15
00:00:28,193 --> 00:00:29,292
You ready for this?
16
00:00:29,327 --> 00:00:30,693
- I don't know.
- Don't be scared.
17
00:00:30,729 --> 00:00:32,429
- Okay. Okay.
- It's going to be good.
18
00:00:32,464 --> 00:00:34,564
"New York Magazine."
19
00:00:34,599 --> 00:00:35,717
- No!
- Yes!
20
00:00:35,718 --> 00:00:36,918
- Don't do that.
- I'm sorry.
21
00:00:36,934 --> 00:00:38,468
But I pitched your
idea to these editors,
22
00:00:38,503 --> 00:00:40,336
and they loved it.
23
00:00:40,372 --> 00:00:42,739
So they want it ready to print ASAP.
24
00:00:42,774 --> 00:00:44,474
- Oh, my God... okay, I've... I'm blind.
- You are?
25
00:00:44,509 --> 00:00:45,975
- I can't see.
- Uh-oh, uh-oh.
26
00:00:46,011 --> 00:00:47,977
I have too much work to do,
and I can't see. I'm kidding.
27
00:00:48,013 --> 00:00:49,379
I can see, but I need to
get back to work right now.
28
00:00:49,414 --> 00:00:50,814
- Go for it.
- Thank you so much.
29
00:00:50,849 --> 00:00:52,749
Alanna, yeah, no. Why
are you touching the...
30
00:00:52,784 --> 00:00:54,417
we said just touch from the top.
31
00:00:54,453 --> 00:00:56,953
When you touch anywhere
lower, we get fingerprints.
32
00:00:56,954 --> 00:00:59,999
- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
33
00:01:01,029 --> 00:01:04,864
Nothing was stolen.
34
00:01:04,900 --> 00:01:06,599
I mean, nothing was even moved.
35
00:01:06,635 --> 00:01:09,669
I just feel like whoever made this note
36
00:01:09,704 --> 00:01:12,105
must be a professional, right?
37
00:01:12,140 --> 00:01:15,308
Well, the way I see it
is you got two choices.
38
00:01:15,343 --> 00:01:18,077
You, uh, you do what they say and stop,
39
00:01:18,113 --> 00:01:22,182
or you say screw those
guys and you keep digging.
40
00:01:22,217 --> 00:01:25,084
Well, I mean, I can't just stop.
41
00:01:25,120 --> 00:01:27,220
Yeah.
42
00:01:27,255 --> 00:01:28,855
All right, that's my girl.
43
00:01:28,890 --> 00:01:31,324
Should we check out this cult?
44
00:01:31,359 --> 00:01:34,527
I m... I mean, I already did that.
45
00:01:34,563 --> 00:01:36,062
Yeah, but did you go
through their trash?
46
00:01:36,097 --> 00:01:37,530
No.
47
00:01:37,566 --> 00:01:40,233
Well, if you want to know
what somebody's up to,
48
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you got to take a look at
what they're throwing away.
49
00:01:42,470 --> 00:01:43,970
Mm, really?
50
00:01:44,005 --> 00:01:46,406
Hey, that's the kid from
the fishing trip, huh?
51
00:01:46,441 --> 00:01:48,041
Yeah, that was the priest's son.
52
00:01:48,076 --> 00:01:49,509
And who's that?
53
00:01:49,544 --> 00:01:52,212
Uh, we used to be lovers.
Hey, guys in the back.
54
00:01:52,247 --> 00:01:53,580
Can we please use
55
00:01:53,615 --> 00:01:55,315
the most recent version
of the slide show?
56
00:01:55,350 --> 00:01:56,616
I've asked you to remove this fellow
57
00:01:56,651 --> 00:01:57,984
upwards of two to three times.
58
00:01:58,019 --> 00:01:59,686
Thank you!
59
00:01:59,721 --> 00:02:01,221
Yeah, sorry. We just got
out of a relationship.
60
00:02:01,256 --> 00:02:03,523
I'm kind of, like, back
in the single game, and...
61
00:02:03,558 --> 00:02:06,159
I feel you. Me too. It sucks.
62
00:02:06,194 --> 00:02:07,927
Oh, so y... you're single.
63
00:02:07,963 --> 00:02:08,928
Yeah, yeah.
64
00:02:08,964 --> 00:02:09,896
Oh.
65
00:02:09,931 --> 00:02:12,665
Here we are... two single men.
66
00:02:12,701 --> 00:02:14,767
Mm.
67
00:02:14,803 --> 00:02:18,238
Well, I have a big question to ask you.
68
00:02:18,273 --> 00:02:19,405
Okay, ask me.
69
00:02:19,441 --> 00:02:20,873
Why this? Why water?
70
00:02:20,909 --> 00:02:22,442
Uh, wow.
71
00:02:22,477 --> 00:02:27,580
Um, the political
answer... someone has to.
72
00:02:27,616 --> 00:02:29,382
- Right.
- You know, someone has to.
73
00:02:29,417 --> 00:02:32,552
Um, but the real answer [Laughs]
74
00:02:32,587 --> 00:02:36,789
if I'm being honest,
um, survivor's guilt.
75
00:02:36,825 --> 00:02:38,524
Oh, right. I was gonna ask about that.
76
00:02:38,560 --> 00:02:40,126
Do you feel comfortable
talking about it?
77
00:02:40,161 --> 00:02:43,196
Do I feel comfortable
talking about the moment
78
00:02:43,231 --> 00:02:44,597
when my mom got the call
79
00:02:44,633 --> 00:02:46,899
that her son had stage-four lymphoma?
80
00:02:46,935 --> 00:02:48,701
- Mm.
- Or when I found out
81
00:02:48,737 --> 00:02:50,737
that my sophomore year in high school
82
00:02:50,772 --> 00:02:52,538
might be my last year on Earth?
83
00:02:52,574 --> 00:02:54,674
Yeah, no, I actually do feel comfortable
84
00:02:54,709 --> 00:02:56,042
talking about that.
85
00:02:56,077 --> 00:02:58,344
What I would rather
talk about is the moment
86
00:02:58,380 --> 00:03:01,681
where I realized that I am
not the only one in pain.
87
00:03:01,716 --> 00:03:05,051
And [bleep] me for not
realizing it sooner.
88
00:03:05,086 --> 00:03:06,786
Dina, do you think you
could, like, zhoosh it
89
00:03:06,821 --> 00:03:08,321
- a little bit more?
- Yeah.
90
00:03:08,356 --> 00:03:09,555
'Cause I feel a little bit
like... krrkk, you know?
91
00:03:09,591 --> 00:03:10,623
Hi, Dunky!
92
00:03:10,659 --> 00:03:12,525
Uh, can we have a second?
93
00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:14,027
- Sure.
- Bye.
94
00:03:14,062 --> 00:03:15,528
What's up?
95
00:03:15,563 --> 00:03:16,896
Really great scene earlier.
96
00:03:16,931 --> 00:03:18,598
- Thank you.
- You're killing it.
97
00:03:18,633 --> 00:03:21,834
Um, remember what I said earlier?
98
00:03:21,870 --> 00:03:23,970
Garcia confronts the serial killer?
99
00:03:24,005 --> 00:03:27,740
Um, yeah. I'm, like, so excited.
100
00:03:27,776 --> 00:03:30,943
Well, uh, I just want you to be ready
101
00:03:30,979 --> 00:03:35,248
that when that happens, Garcia dies.
102
00:03:35,283 --> 00:03:36,949
What?
103
00:03:36,985 --> 00:03:38,518
I'm s... I'm sorry.
104
00:03:38,553 --> 00:03:41,120
Did you just say that I die?
105
00:03:41,156 --> 00:03:43,790
It's just where the story was going,
106
00:03:43,825 --> 00:03:45,458
and I think Kippy pitched it.
107
00:03:45,493 --> 00:03:46,559
Kippy?!
108
00:03:46,594 --> 00:03:47,994
And then we were like, "Yes,"
109
00:03:48,029 --> 00:03:50,596
and it just sort of all came together.
110
00:03:50,632 --> 00:03:52,031
It just made sense.
111
00:03:52,067 --> 00:03:54,000
I just... I'm sorry.
112
00:03:54,035 --> 00:03:58,037
I thought I was, like,
an incredible actor.
113
00:03:58,073 --> 00:03:59,238
Oh, you are.
114
00:03:59,274 --> 00:04:01,841
It's just that the
show needs you to die.
115
00:04:01,876 --> 00:04:03,609
[Voice breaking] Is there,
like, a SAG-AFTRA representative
116
00:04:03,645 --> 00:04:05,011
who I can talk to?
117
00:04:05,046 --> 00:04:07,513
There's no room for a
discussion on this, Portia.
118
00:04:07,549 --> 00:04:09,682
- I'm sorry.
- [Crying]
119
00:04:09,718 --> 00:04:12,885
Um, I'm just gonna leave this here.
120
00:04:17,492 --> 00:04:19,125
Come on.
121
00:04:33,508 --> 00:04:35,241
- Pia?
- Dory!
122
00:04:35,276 --> 00:04:37,410
- Hi.
- You're back.
123
00:04:37,445 --> 00:04:39,178
Yeah, what are you doing here?
124
00:04:39,214 --> 00:04:40,713
I'm so happy to see you.
125
00:04:40,749 --> 00:04:44,350
Why are you, um, cleaning
the floor with a toothbrush?
126
00:04:44,386 --> 00:04:46,119
I wanted to, for Edwin.
127
00:04:46,154 --> 00:04:47,854
It's the least I could do.
128
00:04:47,889 --> 00:04:49,489
Are you here to see Brick?
129
00:04:49,524 --> 00:04:51,891
No. Actually, no.
130
00:04:51,926 --> 00:04:53,926
I think I left my
wallet here last night,
131
00:04:53,962 --> 00:04:56,529
- so we just came by just to... just to check.
- We?
132
00:04:56,564 --> 00:04:58,564
Dory, are you here with someone else?
133
00:04:58,600 --> 00:05:00,066
No. No, I am not. No. I just...
134
00:05:00,101 --> 00:05:01,300
- I didn't mean to...
- [Whistles, clicks tongue]
135
00:05:01,336 --> 00:05:02,602
- Who is that?
- Oh, okay.
136
00:05:02,637 --> 00:05:03,903
I'm sorry to bother
you. Have a nice day!
137
00:05:03,938 --> 00:05:06,072
Keith: All right, come on, come on.
138
00:05:06,107 --> 00:05:09,776
Edwin! Brick!
139
00:05:09,811 --> 00:05:12,578
They're taking our trash!
140
00:05:12,614 --> 00:05:14,046
Go, go, go, go go!
141
00:05:18,932 --> 00:05:20,932
- [Sighs]
- What's this?
142
00:05:20,967 --> 00:05:24,001
Uh, my girlfriend left
those for all the neighbors.
143
00:05:24,037 --> 00:05:26,270
We just wanted to let everybody know
144
00:05:26,306 --> 00:05:28,239
we had a break-in last night.
145
00:05:28,274 --> 00:05:30,608
We wrote them in English
and Spanish, so...
146
00:05:30,643 --> 00:05:32,243
You should get a weapon, just in case.
147
00:05:32,278 --> 00:05:34,145
I have a bat.
148
00:05:34,180 --> 00:05:35,980
I have something way better.
149
00:05:36,015 --> 00:05:37,882
[Classical music playing]
150
00:05:41,487 --> 00:05:43,354
- Mom.
- Oh!
151
00:05:43,389 --> 00:05:46,724
I keep forgetting you have your own key.
152
00:05:46,759 --> 00:05:48,492
They're killing Garcia.
153
00:05:48,528 --> 00:05:49,593
Who's Garcia?
154
00:05:49,629 --> 00:05:51,128
My character on "Surviving Essex."
155
00:05:51,164 --> 00:05:53,464
Oh! I thought you were
talking about a real person.
156
00:05:53,499 --> 00:05:56,033
No, Mom. Like, I don't
get to do the show anymore.
157
00:05:56,069 --> 00:05:57,268
What did you do wrong?
158
00:05:57,303 --> 00:05:59,437
I didn't do anything
wrong. They love me.
159
00:05:59,472 --> 00:06:01,439
No, let's be real, Portia.
160
00:06:01,474 --> 00:06:02,673
If they liked you,
161
00:06:02,709 --> 00:06:04,842
they would've kept
you alive and talking.
162
00:06:04,877 --> 00:06:07,111
Mom, that's not how
television works, okay?
163
00:06:07,146 --> 00:06:10,548
The creators have a story
that they have to tell,
164
00:06:10,583 --> 00:06:11,983
and sometimes they kill
165
00:06:12,018 --> 00:06:14,518
their most beloved characters off
166
00:06:14,554 --> 00:06:16,354
to keep people entertained.
167
00:06:16,389 --> 00:06:18,356
Well, if you're going to defend them,
168
00:06:18,391 --> 00:06:21,892
I don't know what position you
want me to take in this matter.
169
00:06:21,928 --> 00:06:23,995
I just came here 'cause I
thought you could give me,
170
00:06:24,030 --> 00:06:25,129
like, a little sympathy.
171
00:06:25,164 --> 00:06:28,299
Oh, boo hoo. I mean, really, come on.
172
00:06:28,334 --> 00:06:31,068
Your character didn't
make a lick of sense.
173
00:06:31,104 --> 00:06:34,105
I mean, here you are, this
privileged white person
174
00:06:34,140 --> 00:06:37,308
from the Upper West Side
playing an illegal immigrant
175
00:06:37,343 --> 00:06:39,810
who somehow gets a job with the NYPD?
176
00:06:39,846 --> 00:06:41,812
I mean, you're basically stealing
177
00:06:41,848 --> 00:06:43,547
from the Latina community.
178
00:06:44,583 --> 00:06:47,151
You watched it.
179
00:06:47,186 --> 00:06:49,020
Well...
180
00:06:54,093 --> 00:06:57,395
This is starting to
feel a little useless.
181
00:06:57,430 --> 00:06:59,463
You know, that's the
thing about P.I. work
182
00:06:59,499 --> 00:07:00,865
is there's a lot of dead ends.
183
00:07:00,900 --> 00:07:03,567
And then you're sitting
outside in your car
184
00:07:03,603 --> 00:07:07,171
for the 15th straight hour,
sick off deli coffee and...
185
00:07:07,206 --> 00:07:09,140
you know, you want to give up,
186
00:07:09,175 --> 00:07:12,143
thinking about how your
dad never forgave you
187
00:07:12,178 --> 00:07:15,880
for not taking over the family business,
188
00:07:15,915 --> 00:07:20,351
and then boom... it just
comes to you, you know?
189
00:07:20,386 --> 00:07:22,820
You put it all together
and you figure out
190
00:07:22,855 --> 00:07:24,822
how to find that scared little girl
191
00:07:24,857 --> 00:07:26,590
and bring her back home to her family,
192
00:07:26,626 --> 00:07:28,025
safe and sound.
193
00:07:28,061 --> 00:07:30,461
And you remember why you're
doing it to begin with,
194
00:07:30,496 --> 00:07:33,998
and that it's okay to be a lone wolf.
195
00:07:34,033 --> 00:07:36,367
That's a little cheesy.
196
00:07:36,402 --> 00:07:37,435
Sorry.
197
00:07:37,470 --> 00:07:39,203
No, no.
198
00:07:39,238 --> 00:07:42,173
- Nah.
- That's great.
199
00:07:42,208 --> 00:07:44,075
Yeah, I don't know.
You want another beer?
200
00:07:44,110 --> 00:07:46,343
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
201
00:07:46,379 --> 00:07:47,878
All right.
202
00:07:50,049 --> 00:07:52,917
- Here.
- Thanks.
203
00:07:52,952 --> 00:07:54,385
[Electricity crackles]
204
00:07:54,420 --> 00:07:55,419
Jesus.
205
00:07:55,455 --> 00:07:57,555
Hey, why do you even have a taser?
206
00:07:57,590 --> 00:07:58,856
My aunt had it
207
00:07:58,891 --> 00:08:00,825
when she thought her life was in danger,
208
00:08:00,860 --> 00:08:04,628
but she doesn't need
it anymore. She's dead.
209
00:08:04,664 --> 00:08:06,697
Could you not touch all my crap?
210
00:08:06,732 --> 00:08:08,065
What are you doing?
211
00:08:08,101 --> 00:08:10,668
So I looked it up, and
the taser's worth $500,
212
00:08:10,703 --> 00:08:12,303
so I'm either gonna take one big thing
213
00:08:12,338 --> 00:08:13,404
that's equal to that
214
00:08:13,439 --> 00:08:15,806
or a bunch of small
things that add up to that.
215
00:08:15,842 --> 00:08:17,174
- Okay?
- No, you're not.
216
00:08:17,210 --> 00:08:19,009
Okay? Can you just take this back, then?
217
00:08:19,045 --> 00:08:20,711
Because I actually bought my stuff
218
00:08:20,746 --> 00:08:21,846
'cause I like my stuff.
219
00:08:21,881 --> 00:08:23,147
I don't like this. Take this.
220
00:08:23,182 --> 00:08:26,050
- No, we're already doing this.
- Okay.
221
00:08:26,085 --> 00:08:28,319
How much is this? It's cute.
222
00:08:28,354 --> 00:08:30,921
Maybe I can wear it to lunch next week
223
00:08:30,957 --> 00:08:32,156
when I finally meet my dad.
224
00:08:32,191 --> 00:08:33,157
Jesus.
225
00:08:33,192 --> 00:08:34,758
Would you please put that back, okay?
226
00:08:34,794 --> 00:08:36,227
That's my girlfriend, Dory's.
227
00:08:36,262 --> 00:08:37,828
You don't have to look away.
228
00:08:37,864 --> 00:08:39,029
They're just human tits.
229
00:08:39,065 --> 00:08:40,998
I know I don't have to look away.
230
00:08:41,033 --> 00:08:43,200
I just prefer not to see your breasts.
231
00:08:43,236 --> 00:08:45,870
[Chuckles] Look. Turn around.
232
00:08:45,905 --> 00:08:47,304
[Sighs]
233
00:08:47,340 --> 00:08:50,074
So, who do you think looks better,
234
00:08:50,109 --> 00:08:52,977
me or your girlfriend?
235
00:08:53,012 --> 00:08:56,213
I think that you both
have a certain charm.
236
00:08:58,918 --> 00:09:00,551
Can you please take that off?
237
00:09:00,586 --> 00:09:02,853
- Okay.
- Jesus.
238
00:09:03,738 --> 00:09:05,438
Woman: Our mission at Pour
239
00:09:05,473 --> 00:09:08,073
is to provide clean and healthy
water for villages in Uganda.
240
00:09:08,109 --> 00:09:11,343
With your help, we can
change the landscape of Africa
241
00:09:11,379 --> 00:09:14,046
and leave a legacy of life for tomorrow.
242
00:09:14,081 --> 00:09:16,081
Because we all speak the
language of friendship.
243
00:09:16,117 --> 00:09:17,783
Thank you in advance for your support.
244
00:09:17,819 --> 00:09:20,619
All: Thank you!
245
00:09:20,655 --> 00:09:24,056
[Applause]
246
00:09:24,091 --> 00:09:26,592
Thank you guys so much. Whoa.
247
00:09:26,627 --> 00:09:28,194
[Giggles] Sorry.
248
00:09:28,229 --> 00:09:30,296
It's like I've never
been onstage before.
249
00:09:30,331 --> 00:09:31,464
[Laughter]
250
00:09:31,499 --> 00:09:33,032
I have. I have been onstage.
251
00:09:33,067 --> 00:09:34,667
Don't make me list my credits,
252
00:09:34,702 --> 00:09:37,036
um, I was Mack the Knife
onstage 13 years ago
253
00:09:37,071 --> 00:09:39,205
in my high school production
of "Threepenny Opera", bitch.
254
00:09:39,240 --> 00:09:41,340
[Laughter]
255
00:09:41,375 --> 00:09:42,708
Uh, what I do want to say
256
00:09:42,743 --> 00:09:44,643
is that when you take
a sip of water tonight,
257
00:09:44,679 --> 00:09:46,445
I want you to feel [bleep] guilty.
258
00:09:46,481 --> 00:09:48,080
[Laughter]
259
00:09:48,115 --> 00:09:51,750
In all seriousness,
we do need your help.
260
00:09:51,786 --> 00:09:53,853
We really do.
261
00:09:53,888 --> 00:09:57,289
We raised enough money
to get here, tonight,
262
00:09:57,325 --> 00:10:01,260
but tonight-tonight, we
need to raise enough money
263
00:10:01,295 --> 00:10:05,598
to make clean water in Africa a reality.
264
00:10:05,633 --> 00:10:07,633
Okay.
265
00:10:07,668 --> 00:10:09,435
If you guys are with me, let's do this.
266
00:10:09,470 --> 00:10:11,136
Okay? Invest in Pour.
267
00:10:15,109 --> 00:10:17,576
So how long have you and
this Dory chick been together?
268
00:10:17,612 --> 00:10:21,447
I don't know, about three years.
269
00:10:21,482 --> 00:10:22,948
Why?
270
00:10:22,984 --> 00:10:25,084
What do you mean, "why"?
271
00:10:25,119 --> 00:10:28,120
I do not see you two together, dude.
272
00:10:28,155 --> 00:10:29,622
Um...
273
00:10:29,657 --> 00:10:31,957
I mean, like, we're really good friends,
274
00:10:31,993 --> 00:10:34,660
so we're really
comfortable with each other,
275
00:10:34,695 --> 00:10:36,028
if that's what you mean.
276
00:10:36,063 --> 00:10:39,331
Sounds like you don't [bleep].
277
00:10:39,367 --> 00:10:40,332
No, we do.
278
00:10:40,368 --> 00:10:42,234
Yeah, yeah. We definitely do.
279
00:10:42,270 --> 00:10:46,138
Not a lot lately, I guess,
'cause things have been
280
00:10:46,173 --> 00:10:49,508
pretty stressful around here, but, uh...
281
00:10:49,544 --> 00:10:52,878
we do.
282
00:10:52,914 --> 00:10:56,181
[Grace Mitchell's "Runaway" plays]
283
00:11:03,291 --> 00:11:06,992
I see myself in your hazy eyes
284
00:11:07,028 --> 00:11:09,962
-
Hands on my side, moves just like mine
- I really like this song.
285
00:11:09,997 --> 00:11:14,233
I like songs that take
you there, you know?
286
00:11:14,268 --> 00:11:15,901
Yeah.
287
00:11:23,210 --> 00:11:24,476
Wait, didn't you say
288
00:11:24,511 --> 00:11:26,378
you found a piece of a check earlier?
289
00:11:26,413 --> 00:11:28,080
- Can I see it?
- Yeah.
290
00:11:30,351 --> 00:11:33,752
- This one?
- Yeah.
291
00:11:33,787 --> 00:11:35,721
TW Brownway.
292
00:11:37,424 --> 00:11:40,926
I'm a head Realtor at TW Brownway.
293
00:11:40,961 --> 00:11:42,361
Wait, TW Brownway.
294
00:11:42,396 --> 00:11:44,463
That's the company that
that crazy lady Lorraine
295
00:11:44,498 --> 00:11:45,931
I was telling you about...
296
00:11:45,966 --> 00:11:48,100
- that's the company that she worked for.
- Huh.
297
00:11:48,135 --> 00:11:49,835
Maybe she actually did know something.
298
00:11:49,870 --> 00:11:52,037
Yeah, no, no, no. That's interesting.
299
00:11:52,072 --> 00:11:54,740
TW Brownway is real estate, so...
300
00:11:54,775 --> 00:11:58,477
I don't know, maybe they own
the Bellow & Hare building?
301
00:11:58,512 --> 00:12:01,179
Yeah, but then why would TW Brownway
302
00:12:01,215 --> 00:12:03,415
be sending a check to the cult?
303
00:12:03,450 --> 00:12:05,284
Shouldn't it be the other way around?
304
00:12:05,319 --> 00:12:07,753
[Breathes in deeply] Ooh, you feel that?
305
00:12:07,788 --> 00:12:11,189
Hairs on the back of your
neck standing up on end.
306
00:12:13,060 --> 00:12:14,660
What does Dory do to turn you on?
307
00:12:14,695 --> 00:12:17,796
[Sighs] Uh, I don't know.
308
00:12:17,831 --> 00:12:20,599
Does she dance for you?
309
00:12:20,634 --> 00:12:23,235
Yeah, like weddings.
310
00:12:23,270 --> 00:12:26,204
Does she bite your lip?
311
00:12:26,240 --> 00:12:30,409
No, but I understand
what you're talking about.
312
00:12:30,444 --> 00:12:34,146
Does she sit on your big, fat snake?
313
00:12:38,752 --> 00:12:40,252
You're a nice guy.
314
00:12:40,287 --> 00:12:43,388
I'm tired of not knowing
where all the nice guys are.
315
00:12:46,527 --> 00:12:49,761
Yeah, I have a girlfriend,
so I can't, uh, do this.
316
00:12:49,797 --> 00:12:51,229
So does everybody.
317
00:12:51,265 --> 00:12:52,931
[Sighs]
318
00:12:52,967 --> 00:12:55,267
You got to go.
319
00:13:10,718 --> 00:13:14,786
I've never been more
disrespected in my life.
320
00:13:14,822 --> 00:13:16,755
[Music continues]
321
00:13:16,790 --> 00:13:18,757
- This is crazy, right?
- Yeah.
322
00:13:18,792 --> 00:13:21,159
- This is... this is really good.
- Yeah.
323
00:13:21,195 --> 00:13:23,128
You don't think it's just,
like, a coincidence, right?
324
00:13:23,163 --> 00:13:24,730
No, no. You do this stuff long enough,
325
00:13:24,765 --> 00:13:27,065
you realize there's no
such thing as coincidence.
326
00:13:27,101 --> 00:13:28,767
In fact, you know what I think?
327
00:13:28,802 --> 00:13:30,736
What?
328
00:13:30,771 --> 00:13:34,573
Shit, I'm gonna get
myself in trouble here.
329
00:13:34,608 --> 00:13:35,841
No, why?
330
00:13:37,444 --> 00:13:40,178
I just can't stop looking at you.
331
00:13:40,214 --> 00:13:42,080
Oh.
332
00:13:42,116 --> 00:13:43,315
What if we just want to dance?
333
00:13:43,350 --> 00:13:45,250
I just find you stunning.
334
00:13:45,285 --> 00:13:46,752
If you knew all the things
335
00:13:46,787 --> 00:13:49,054
I want to do to you right now...
336
00:13:49,089 --> 00:13:52,224
[Sighs]
337
00:13:52,259 --> 00:13:55,494
What if we want to dance?
338
00:13:55,529 --> 00:13:58,964
Nothing else matters, anyway
339
00:13:58,999 --> 00:14:01,233
So let's run away
340
00:14:02,331 --> 00:14:03,497
- You like that?
- Oh.
341
00:14:03,532 --> 00:14:05,199
Me and my buddies all got it.
342
00:14:05,234 --> 00:14:07,234
I can't tell you what it means, though,
343
00:14:07,269 --> 00:14:09,102
'cause, you know, we took an oath.
344
00:14:09,138 --> 00:14:11,338
No, you don't have
to tell me. It's okay.
345
00:14:11,373 --> 00:14:14,875
So sexy.
346
00:14:14,910 --> 00:14:16,710
[Cellphone ringing]
347
00:14:16,745 --> 00:14:18,645
Oh.
348
00:14:18,681 --> 00:14:20,414
Oh.
349
00:14:20,449 --> 00:14:23,116
Oh, shit. I got to take this.
350
00:14:23,152 --> 00:14:24,484
Yeah, sure.
351
00:14:27,656 --> 00:14:31,158
Yeah, huh?
352
00:14:31,193 --> 00:14:34,628
Oh, God damn it. That was today?
353
00:14:34,663 --> 00:14:37,598
Oh, well, isn't that perfect?
354
00:14:37,633 --> 00:14:40,133
You know what, though?
Steven is not her father.
355
00:14:40,259 --> 00:14:42,726
No... hey!
356
00:14:42,761 --> 00:14:45,595
Calm the [bleep] down!
357
00:14:45,631 --> 00:14:49,066
Hello? God!
358
00:14:49,101 --> 00:14:51,568
[Sighs]
359
00:14:53,439 --> 00:14:55,138
- Really sorry about that.
- Oh.
360
00:14:55,174 --> 00:14:56,573
You know, that's not the way
361
00:14:56,608 --> 00:14:58,875
that I wanted to, you know, tell you...
362
00:14:58,911 --> 00:15:00,243
I... is everything okay?
363
00:15:00,279 --> 00:15:02,546
- No, it's my ex-wife.
- Oh, right.
364
00:15:02,581 --> 00:15:04,781
- I have a daughter, Caitlin.
- Mm.
365
00:15:04,817 --> 00:15:06,817
Here, I got a picture of her on here.
366
00:15:06,852 --> 00:15:09,519
It's a while ago. They
grow up really fast.
367
00:15:09,555 --> 00:15:11,755
Yeah, she's beautiful. Yeah.
368
00:15:15,294 --> 00:15:18,595
You know, I probably, uh...
369
00:15:18,630 --> 00:15:20,931
I probably shouldn't
say this so directly,
370
00:15:20,966 --> 00:15:23,467
but I'm really starting to fall for you.
371
00:15:23,502 --> 00:15:26,036
- Wow.
- I know, I know. No, no, hey.
372
00:15:26,071 --> 00:15:27,237
- That's quick.
- No...
373
00:15:27,272 --> 00:15:28,472
- I know, I know.
- Yeah, yeah.
374
00:15:28,507 --> 00:15:30,040
It's very... it's very soon, you know?
375
00:15:30,075 --> 00:15:31,742
- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
- But you don't have to say anything.
376
00:15:31,777 --> 00:15:33,243
- Okay, all right I won't. No.
- Don't say anything.
377
00:15:33,278 --> 00:15:35,078
- You just let it marinate.
- Yeah. Okay.
378
00:15:35,114 --> 00:15:37,414
- Yeah, mm-hmm.
- You want to join me in the shower?
379
00:15:37,449 --> 00:15:39,249
- No, I'm okay, actually.
- You sure?
380
00:15:39,284 --> 00:15:41,251
I think I'm just gonna, like, chill here
381
00:15:41,286 --> 00:15:42,285
and look at my phone.
382
00:15:42,321 --> 00:15:43,820
- Okay.
- Yep.
383
00:15:48,293 --> 00:15:52,195
Oh, hey. You know, I was
thinking, TW Brownway...
384
00:15:52,230 --> 00:15:54,330
they cut rebate checks for taxes,
385
00:15:54,366 --> 00:15:57,133
so it's possible that
could be a coincidence,
386
00:15:57,169 --> 00:16:00,069
but I think we should
check it out anyway.
387
00:16:00,105 --> 00:16:01,905
Yeah, sure.
388
00:16:04,543 --> 00:16:07,844
[Water running]
389
00:16:07,879 --> 00:16:09,679
You sure you don't want to join?
390
00:16:09,714 --> 00:16:11,314
I got a real nice body wash.
391
00:16:11,349 --> 00:16:12,982
Smells like grapes.
392
00:16:13,018 --> 00:16:17,120
393
00:16:17,155 --> 00:16:20,223
[Keys clatter]
394
00:16:29,414 --> 00:16:31,381
- Hey.
- Hey.
395
00:16:31,416 --> 00:16:36,452
Uh, neighbor came over
earlier, gave us a taser.
396
00:16:36,488 --> 00:16:39,222
Oh.
397
00:16:39,257 --> 00:16:41,591
[Chuckles]
398
00:16:41,626 --> 00:16:46,362
Hey, you think it'd be good
for us to have this, right?
399
00:16:46,398 --> 00:16:48,831
You know, so I can protect us.
400
00:16:48,867 --> 00:16:52,068
Yeah.
401
00:16:55,340 --> 00:17:00,276
Um, so I ordered some Brooklyn Soul.
402
00:17:00,311 --> 00:17:02,178
I wasn't sure if you're hungry.
403
00:17:02,213 --> 00:17:03,479
Oh.
404
00:17:03,515 --> 00:17:05,381
If you want any, it should be here soon.
405
00:17:05,417 --> 00:17:06,983
That was nice of you.
406
00:17:07,218 --> 00:17:12,655
Uh, yeah, I just kind
of want to take a shower
407
00:17:12,690 --> 00:17:14,524
and get into my PJs, you know?
408
00:17:14,559 --> 00:17:17,194
Okay, yeah.
409
00:17:18,229 --> 00:17:21,097
Hey, Dory, I got to tell you something.
410
00:17:21,132 --> 00:17:23,800
Um, okay, so, you know the neighbor
411
00:17:23,835 --> 00:17:25,435
came over with the taser.
412
00:17:25,470 --> 00:17:28,104
Um, and I didn't invite her over
413
00:17:28,139 --> 00:17:29,872
or anything like that.
414
00:17:29,908 --> 00:17:33,009
She just came and
was, like, hanging out,
415
00:17:33,044 --> 00:17:35,745
and then one thing led to another
416
00:17:35,780 --> 00:17:37,880
and she put on some music,
417
00:17:37,916 --> 00:17:40,450
and, uh, she started dancing.
418
00:17:41,485 --> 00:17:44,487
You know, like sexy dancing.
419
00:17:44,522 --> 00:17:46,989
Okay.
420
00:17:47,025 --> 00:17:48,491
And that was it.
421
00:17:48,526 --> 00:17:51,194
I mean, she put on the music,
and then she started, like,
422
00:17:51,229 --> 00:17:53,896
moving around the
living room with her hips
423
00:17:53,932 --> 00:17:55,164
and stuff like that,
424
00:17:55,200 --> 00:17:57,300
and she, you know, came close to me,
425
00:17:57,335 --> 00:17:59,936
but then when I started to
realize what had happened,
426
00:17:59,971 --> 00:18:01,804
I stopped the music
and I kicked her out.
427
00:18:01,840 --> 00:18:02,972
And that's it.
428
00:18:03,007 --> 00:18:05,074
There was no kissing or anything...
429
00:18:05,110 --> 00:18:06,542
anything like that.
430
00:18:06,578 --> 00:18:10,513
It was just that...
dancing and then she's out.
431
00:18:10,548 --> 00:18:13,749
[Crying]
432
00:18:13,785 --> 00:18:15,485
Oh, my God. Dory, are you upset?
433
00:18:15,520 --> 00:18:16,385
No.
434
00:18:16,421 --> 00:18:18,354
Hey, hey, look. I'm so sorry.
435
00:18:18,389 --> 00:18:20,723
Nothing happened. I promise.
436
00:18:20,758 --> 00:18:22,458
No, I know. It's okay.
437
00:18:22,494 --> 00:18:23,659
I am so sorry.
438
00:18:23,695 --> 00:18:26,028
I swear, I would never
do anything to hurt you.
439
00:18:26,064 --> 00:18:27,930
I'm so sorry. I messed up.
440
00:18:31,302 --> 00:18:36,372
I'm just tired. I'm just really tired.
441
00:18:36,407 --> 00:18:37,473
Are you sure?
442
00:18:37,509 --> 00:18:38,741
I promise you.
443
00:18:38,776 --> 00:18:40,877
- You can tell me if you're mad at me.
- No. No.
444
00:18:40,912 --> 00:18:42,245
It's okay. I understand.
445
00:18:42,280 --> 00:18:44,380
- Baby, I'm sorry.
- I'm just tired.
446
00:18:48,920 --> 00:18:50,653
- You sure?
- Yeah.
447
00:18:56,962 --> 00:19:00,096
So what's next for
the great Elliott Goss?
448
00:19:00,131 --> 00:19:02,365
[Sighs] You know, I just
want to be good to myself.
449
00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:05,168
You know, maybe drink a
little too much tonight,
450
00:19:05,203 --> 00:19:07,870
find a heated pool, invite a friend.
451
00:19:07,906 --> 00:19:10,239
You want me to be your friend?
452
00:19:10,275 --> 00:19:11,074
Mm-hmm.
453
00:19:11,109 --> 00:19:13,276
Okay. Well, one last question.
454
00:19:13,311 --> 00:19:14,877
Mm.
455
00:19:14,913 --> 00:19:19,248
Um, you said in your
sophomore year of high school,
456
00:19:19,284 --> 00:19:22,218
- you developed cancer, right?
- Mm-hmm.
457
00:19:22,253 --> 00:19:23,653
It was like... it was like 15?
458
00:19:23,688 --> 00:19:25,188
- 15, yeah.
- Oh, my gosh.
459
00:19:25,223 --> 00:19:28,091
I am still trying to wrap
my head around the fact
460
00:19:28,126 --> 00:19:30,994
that you were bedridden
with stage-four lymphoma
461
00:19:31,029 --> 00:19:33,429
while playing the physically
challenging lead role
462
00:19:33,465 --> 00:19:37,100
of Mack the Knife.
463
00:19:37,135 --> 00:19:38,768
Okay, so... so I was 16.
464
00:19:38,803 --> 00:19:39,836
You were 16. You were 16.
465
00:19:39,871 --> 00:19:41,237
- 16.
- Oh, my gosh.
466
00:19:41,272 --> 00:19:42,705
- Always switch those two.
- Totally understand.
467
00:19:42,741 --> 00:19:44,474
Well, I'm just going to write that down
468
00:19:44,509 --> 00:19:47,443
and check in with your
family, your friends,
469
00:19:47,479 --> 00:19:49,979
and your doctors just to make sure
470
00:19:50,015 --> 00:19:52,148
that everything is squared away.
471
00:19:52,183 --> 00:19:56,786
You know, like the truth.
472
00:19:59,991 --> 00:20:01,758
Hmm. [Chuckles]
473
00:20:01,793 --> 00:20:03,926
'Cause I feel that our readers
474
00:20:03,962 --> 00:20:07,130
are gonna want to know
who you really are.
475
00:20:10,935 --> 00:20:13,336
I have to go to the bathroom.
476
00:20:13,371 --> 00:20:15,071
Yeah. Yeah, yeah. It's right over there.
477
00:20:15,106 --> 00:20:17,874
Yeah, I'm gonna pop
out, but you hang out.
478
00:20:17,909 --> 00:20:19,742
- Thanks.
- And I'll be right back.
479
00:20:19,778 --> 00:20:21,310
- Do you want another one?
- Yes.
480
00:20:21,346 --> 00:20:23,646
I would love one. Thank you.
481
00:20:23,681 --> 00:20:25,181
Mm-hmm.
482
00:20:33,591 --> 00:20:36,492
[Breathing heavily]
483
00:20:55,018 --> 00:20:59,799
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484
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