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1
00:00:02,589 --> 00:00:04,671
Oh.
Morning, sir.
2
00:00:04,672 --> 00:00:06,306
I was just looking over
our expense reports,
3
00:00:06,307 --> 00:00:08,175
And I found a way
to save hundreds of dollars.
4
00:00:08,176 --> 00:00:09,309
Ah, you sound like
that lizard
5
00:00:09,310 --> 00:00:12,379
From the geico commercials.
6
00:00:12,380 --> 00:00:13,981
- That's mine.
- Not anymore.
7
00:00:13,982 --> 00:00:19,019
Mmm...No, no.
8
00:00:19,020 --> 00:00:21,522
That's not blueberry.
What kind of flimflam
9
00:00:21,523 --> 00:00:23,390
Are you trying
to scam on me?
10
00:00:23,391 --> 00:00:25,859
Yes, I certainly owe you
an apology
11
00:00:25,860 --> 00:00:28,028
For picking the wrong muffin
for you to steal, eat,
12
00:00:28,029 --> 00:00:29,596
And regurgitate
onto my desk.
13
00:00:29,597 --> 00:00:32,800
More specifically, onto
this picture of my grandmother.
14
00:00:32,801 --> 00:00:38,305
Well, in my defense,
that dot was already there.
15
00:00:38,306 --> 00:00:41,208
Well, I was talked into
the lemon poppy seed muffin
16
00:00:41,209 --> 00:00:42,342
By beth,
17
00:00:42,343 --> 00:00:44,378
The comely new waitress
at the diner.
18
00:00:44,379 --> 00:00:45,813
And what say we skip
the clever fun
19
00:00:45,814 --> 00:00:47,815
You'll have
with the word "comely."
20
00:00:47,816 --> 00:00:49,716
Oh, wait, beth...
21
00:00:49,717 --> 00:00:51,652
That's the new waitress
at our diner.
22
00:00:51,653 --> 00:00:53,420
Yes.
Oh, I really do feel
23
00:00:53,421 --> 00:00:55,522
She and I have
quite the rapport.
24
00:00:55,523 --> 00:00:57,591
Heh heh, whoa.
25
00:00:57,592 --> 00:01:00,027
I've actually
already met beth.
26
00:01:00,028 --> 00:01:01,895
We had a delightful
connection.
27
00:01:01,896 --> 00:01:03,664
She found me
quite the gentleman,
28
00:01:03,665 --> 00:01:05,699
And with any luck,
soon she'll be the chief suspect
29
00:01:05,700 --> 00:01:08,502
In the case
of the missing salami.
30
00:01:08,503 --> 00:01:10,637
Hmm.
31
00:01:13,041 --> 00:01:14,908
Well, I guess the next time
we're both in the diner,
32
00:01:14,909 --> 00:01:17,578
We'll just have to see
whom she prefers...
33
00:01:17,579 --> 00:01:20,080
Me or the shrunken
mickey rourke.
34
00:01:29,524 --> 00:01:33,193
Yes, I guess we'll see.
35
00:01:34,863 --> 00:01:36,763
Silly me...
36
00:01:36,764 --> 00:01:41,568
I forgot I've gotta take care
of some things in accounting.
37
00:01:41,569 --> 00:01:43,103
Oh, of course.
38
00:01:43,104 --> 00:01:44,638
And it would seem as though I've
been silly as well, you see,
39
00:01:44,639 --> 00:01:47,274
Because I've left some papers
in the copy machine,
40
00:01:47,275 --> 00:01:49,509
So...Ehh...Ugh!
41
00:01:49,510 --> 00:01:53,247
Look at us, we're just
a couple of silly birds!
42
00:01:57,852 --> 00:02:01,455
Aah! God! God!
43
00:02:04,726 --> 00:02:08,528
So everything shipshape
with the mccarthy account?
44
00:02:08,529 --> 00:02:09,663
Yes. All up to date, sir.
45
00:02:09,664 --> 00:02:12,032
I should have
a full status report for you--
46
00:02:12,033 --> 00:02:14,167
Excuse me.
47
00:02:16,371 --> 00:02:17,804
[chuckles]
48
00:02:17,805 --> 00:02:19,806
Hey, where's audrey?
49
00:02:19,807 --> 00:02:24,144
She's got a pilates session
with a trainer at our apartment.
50
00:02:24,145 --> 00:02:27,080
- Really? Why at the apartment?
- Because we're billionaires.
51
00:02:27,081 --> 00:02:31,685
Apparently, audrey got tired
of going out to spend money,
52
00:02:31,686 --> 00:02:35,489
So now someone comes
to the apartment to take it.
53
00:02:37,859 --> 00:02:39,226
Well, you know,
she's not working,
54
00:02:39,227 --> 00:02:40,861
But at least she's
keeping herself busy.
55
00:02:40,862 --> 00:02:42,496
You know who
she's not keeping busy?
56
00:02:42,497 --> 00:02:46,800
The lonely lighthouse keeper
who lives in my pants.
57
00:02:46,801 --> 00:02:49,703
Well, you know,
I've been there.
58
00:02:49,704 --> 00:02:50,971
- Oh, yeah? You and jen?
- Oh, yeah, man.
59
00:02:50,972 --> 00:02:52,506
A couple months ago
we were fighting a lot.
60
00:02:52,507 --> 00:02:57,544
We were down to,
like, once a day.
61
00:02:57,545 --> 00:03:00,681
[thump]
ow!
62
00:03:06,020 --> 00:03:09,756
- Ahh.
- Ahh.
63
00:03:09,757 --> 00:03:12,359
What can I get you?
64
00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:13,627
Wait, this isn't
beth's section?
65
00:03:13,628 --> 00:03:15,629
- We switched.
- Oh.
66
00:03:15,630 --> 00:03:17,597
Timmy, didn't you want
to order some of this?
67
00:03:17,598 --> 00:03:20,600
- [thump]
- hey!
68
00:03:25,006 --> 00:03:26,206
Hey, russell, timmy.
69
00:03:26,207 --> 00:03:30,744
Oh, beth,
this is your section?
70
00:03:30,745 --> 00:03:31,945
Hello there, beth.
71
00:03:31,946 --> 00:03:34,648
You're looking lovely
as usual today.
72
00:03:34,649 --> 00:03:37,117
Oh, you two.
Well, I'm going on my break,
73
00:03:37,118 --> 00:03:39,953
But doreen will take care
of you.
74
00:03:41,823 --> 00:03:44,458
The hell she will.
75
00:04:02,358 --> 00:04:08,358
76
00:04:16,671 --> 00:04:19,572
[sharp exhale]
unh...Check it out.
77
00:04:19,573 --> 00:04:21,441
I was digging through
the back of my closet,
78
00:04:21,442 --> 00:04:24,210
And bam--
my old letterman jacket.
79
00:04:24,211 --> 00:04:27,013
Wow. You know,
80
00:04:27,014 --> 00:04:29,015
I always liked the idea
of dating a jock.
81
00:04:29,016 --> 00:04:33,687
Why wouldn't you?
We're sexy as all get-out.
82
00:04:33,688 --> 00:04:35,388
What's this pin right here?
83
00:04:35,389 --> 00:04:36,823
Oh, that's a megaphone.
84
00:04:36,824 --> 00:04:38,925
A megaphone? Why?
85
00:04:38,926 --> 00:04:41,294
You know,
for cheerleading.
86
00:04:41,295 --> 00:04:44,798
Oh, because you had
a cheerleader girlfriend.
87
00:04:44,799 --> 00:04:50,303
No...I made the squad.
She didn't.
88
00:04:50,304 --> 00:04:53,807
That's why we broke up,
you know...
89
00:04:53,808 --> 00:04:56,776
Hold on, there was
a lot of information there.
90
00:04:56,777 --> 00:05:00,847
You're saying that you were
on the cheerleading squad?
91
00:05:00,848 --> 00:05:04,017
Yes.
92
00:05:04,018 --> 00:05:05,652
No.
93
00:05:05,653 --> 00:05:07,320
But you said
you never missed a game.
94
00:05:07,321 --> 00:05:10,890
- I didn't.
- But you said your bad knee
95
00:05:10,891 --> 00:05:12,826
- Was a football injury.
- It was.
96
00:05:12,827 --> 00:05:14,761
Honey, a couple players
tumbled out of bounds
97
00:05:14,762 --> 00:05:16,396
And knocked over
our pyramid.
98
00:05:16,397 --> 00:05:18,798
God!
99
00:05:18,799 --> 00:05:21,501
Oh, god...
100
00:05:21,502 --> 00:05:22,836
But you said that
without you
101
00:05:22,837 --> 00:05:24,370
Your team wouldn't have
won state.
102
00:05:24,371 --> 00:05:27,707
Well,
that I firmly believe.
103
00:05:27,708 --> 00:05:30,477
Wait a minute.
What's this?
104
00:05:30,478 --> 00:05:33,480
A note saying
this is all a bad joke?
105
00:05:33,481 --> 00:05:36,649
Oh, man, this is
my old cheat sheet.
106
00:05:36,650 --> 00:05:39,152
I could never remember
how to spell "aggressive."
107
00:05:47,728 --> 00:05:49,195
Ah, nice timing.
108
00:05:49,196 --> 00:05:51,631
I just finished my session,
and I feel great.
109
00:05:51,632 --> 00:05:53,099
Oh, good, then
it's worth the 80 bucks.
110
00:05:53,100 --> 00:05:56,703
[chuckles]
80? You're adorable.
111
00:05:56,704 --> 00:06:00,073
Anyway, I found this flier
by the mailbox.
112
00:06:00,074 --> 00:06:02,175
50% off all workout clothes.
113
00:06:02,176 --> 00:06:04,010
Oh, yeah?
114
00:06:04,011 --> 00:06:06,412
Is that how you like
my workout clothes...
115
00:06:06,413 --> 00:06:09,916
50% off?
116
00:06:09,917 --> 00:06:14,554
If you smear the ink,
they won't honor it.
117
00:06:14,555 --> 00:06:18,324
Oops, I did smear it.
118
00:06:18,325 --> 00:06:21,528
I've been a bad,
bad girl.
119
00:06:21,529 --> 00:06:23,797
What's going on here?
120
00:06:23,798 --> 00:06:25,832
Nothing here,
but uh,
121
00:06:25,833 --> 00:06:28,802
Maybe something'll
happen in the bedroom.
122
00:06:28,803 --> 00:06:31,905
Down that way,
to the left, I remember.
123
00:06:31,906 --> 00:06:33,640
[giggles]
come on.
124
00:06:33,641 --> 00:06:35,041
Let's get in there
and do it.
125
00:06:35,042 --> 00:06:39,445
Now, see, I'm getting
somewhat of a sex vibe.
126
00:06:39,446 --> 00:06:42,315
It's been a while.
I may be wrong.
127
00:06:42,316 --> 00:06:45,985
You are not wrong.
128
00:06:45,986 --> 00:06:49,455
The drought is over.
129
00:06:49,456 --> 00:06:51,991
Oh, cleansing rain!
130
00:06:56,030 --> 00:06:57,997
So from the moment
I entered the apartment
131
00:06:57,998 --> 00:07:02,669
To the moment we're doing it...
A minute and a half.
132
00:07:04,505 --> 00:07:05,705
And then another
minute and half
133
00:07:05,706 --> 00:07:08,208
Till the awkward apology?
134
00:07:08,209 --> 00:07:11,945
More or less.
It's been a while.
135
00:07:11,946 --> 00:07:15,281
I was against this whole
pilates scam, but...
136
00:07:15,282 --> 00:07:17,717
Meh...I'm good with anything
that puts audrey
137
00:07:17,718 --> 00:07:20,286
Between me
and the mattress.
138
00:07:20,287 --> 00:07:22,422
That's actually
more romantic than mr. Dunbar,
139
00:07:22,423 --> 00:07:23,957
Who recently bragged
of having put a woman
140
00:07:23,958 --> 00:07:25,959
Between him and a desk.
141
00:07:25,960 --> 00:07:30,997
You forgot one little detail.
It was your desk.
142
00:07:30,998 --> 00:07:35,335
The chick had muffin crumbs
all over her back.
143
00:07:35,336 --> 00:07:37,403
Listen, you gotta stay
on this pilates thing.
144
00:07:37,404 --> 00:07:39,272
It seems like it's
the golden goose.
145
00:07:39,273 --> 00:07:40,607
It must make her
feel better about herself
146
00:07:40,608 --> 00:07:43,509
And more receptive
to your inelegant advances.
147
00:07:43,510 --> 00:07:45,144
I don't care what it does
148
00:07:45,145 --> 00:07:49,115
As long as I'm bangin'
the goose.
149
00:07:49,116 --> 00:07:51,417
Wow, timmy, russell--
you guys are still here?
150
00:07:51,418 --> 00:07:54,053
You two are becoming
my best customers.
151
00:07:54,054 --> 00:07:55,655
What a nice thing to say
about me
152
00:07:55,656 --> 00:07:59,192
And someone who's old enough
to be your father.
153
00:07:59,193 --> 00:08:01,794
You must really love
the food here.
154
00:08:01,795 --> 00:08:03,229
You know, beth,
I do find it quite excellent.
155
00:08:03,230 --> 00:08:06,299
Then what do you suppose
gave you that raging diarrhea?
156
00:08:09,470 --> 00:08:12,038
Can I bring you
a bowl of rice or something?
157
00:08:15,175 --> 00:08:16,876
Please.
158
00:08:16,877 --> 00:08:20,613
Well, I see the campaign
has gone negative.
159
00:08:22,349 --> 00:08:26,552
Will you please
take it off?
160
00:08:26,553 --> 00:08:28,621
No. No, I want to show it
to the guys.
161
00:08:28,622 --> 00:08:30,456
I'm from the future.
162
00:08:30,457 --> 00:08:32,392
I've come to tell you
it does not go well.
163
00:08:35,829 --> 00:08:37,463
- Hey.
- Hey, what's up?
164
00:08:37,464 --> 00:08:40,767
- Hello.
- Whoa, nice jacket.
165
00:08:40,768 --> 00:08:43,536
What time is jughead
expecting you at the malt shop?
166
00:08:43,537 --> 00:08:46,272
[laughs]
good one, russell.
167
00:08:46,273 --> 00:08:48,441
- What's the soup for today?
- All right, hold on now.
168
00:08:48,442 --> 00:08:50,910
He can't wear his
high school football jacket
169
00:08:50,911 --> 00:08:53,146
And not have us
work him over a little.
170
00:08:53,147 --> 00:08:54,447
Actually...
171
00:08:54,448 --> 00:08:58,985
Uh, this is your last
off-ramp, please take it.
172
00:08:58,986 --> 00:09:00,420
It's not a football jacket.
173
00:09:00,421 --> 00:09:04,023
It's from when
I was a cheerleader.
174
00:09:08,262 --> 00:09:10,530
[clears throat]
let's do this.
175
00:09:10,531 --> 00:09:12,398
- We've gotta go.
- Okay, stop.
176
00:09:12,399 --> 00:09:13,599
Honey, honey, don't--
don't worry.
177
00:09:13,600 --> 00:09:15,501
Look, I know you guys need
to have your fun,
178
00:09:15,502 --> 00:09:16,703
So go ahead, give it to me.
179
00:09:16,704 --> 00:09:18,204
I can take everything
you've got.
180
00:09:18,205 --> 00:09:22,575
Which is what you said to
the guys on the football team.
181
00:09:22,576 --> 00:09:25,011
He's implying rough boys had
their way with you--delightful.
182
00:09:25,012 --> 00:09:27,947
Please tell me
you used pompons.
183
00:09:27,948 --> 00:09:30,149
- We didn't.
- Thank god.
184
00:09:30,150 --> 00:09:31,517
We called them
"spirit balls."
185
00:09:31,518 --> 00:09:35,888
Anyway, hey, guys, look,
I had a blast, man.
186
00:09:35,889 --> 00:09:37,924
I even hooked up with
a couple girls on the squad.
187
00:09:37,925 --> 00:09:41,394
To do what,
fix each other's makeup?
188
00:09:41,395 --> 00:09:44,664
No, no.
To hook up.
189
00:09:44,665 --> 00:09:47,266
You know, and if there was
the occasional moisturizing,
190
00:09:47,267 --> 00:09:51,871
Well, shame on me for wanting
to take care of my skin.
191
00:09:51,872 --> 00:09:54,540
- Why isn't this any fun?
- 'cause he's not suffering.
192
00:09:54,541 --> 00:09:56,142
He does seem rather
at ease.
193
00:09:56,143 --> 00:09:58,144
There's nothing
to be ashamed of.
194
00:09:58,145 --> 00:09:59,479
Maybe we shouldn't bother.
195
00:09:59,480 --> 00:10:02,982
Wait, wait, wait.
Look at jen.
196
00:10:05,753 --> 00:10:08,254
What?
197
00:10:08,255 --> 00:10:13,459
Ah, the pack has located
the weakest gazelle.
198
00:10:13,460 --> 00:10:18,231
So, jen, does adam ever
give you any dirty talk
199
00:10:18,232 --> 00:10:20,099
Through his megaphone?
200
00:10:20,100 --> 00:10:22,435
Please, let me go!
201
00:10:22,436 --> 00:10:28,107
Hey, be strong, honey!
202
00:10:28,108 --> 00:10:31,244
Okay, fine. I'm just gonna
hide under the table.
203
00:10:31,245 --> 00:10:32,278
Ah, good thing
I'm not the quarterback,
204
00:10:32,279 --> 00:10:34,547
Or adam would
beat you down there.
205
00:10:43,390 --> 00:10:45,458
Hey.
206
00:10:45,459 --> 00:10:47,393
Hey.
207
00:10:47,394 --> 00:10:49,962
Unh...We were just
finishing up.
208
00:10:49,963 --> 00:10:52,999
You must be jeff.
I'm terry.
209
00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:55,968
Okay.
210
00:10:55,969 --> 00:10:57,336
Hey, listen, my purse is
in the other room.
211
00:10:57,337 --> 00:10:59,172
Can you pay terry?
And give him a little extra.
212
00:10:59,173 --> 00:11:02,041
He's really good.
213
00:11:03,744 --> 00:11:06,279
All right, yeah...
214
00:11:06,280 --> 00:11:07,580
There you go.
215
00:11:07,581 --> 00:11:09,715
- Thanks.
- You're fired.
216
00:11:09,716 --> 00:11:12,618
- What?
- You're fired.
217
00:11:12,619 --> 00:11:15,154
Get out.
218
00:11:21,240 --> 00:11:25,343
You fired terry?
What is wrong with you?
219
00:11:25,344 --> 00:11:28,146
No other guy's gonna be
rubbing you and bending you.
220
00:11:28,147 --> 00:11:29,314
Not while I'm alive.
221
00:11:29,315 --> 00:11:30,982
And not for a year
after I'm dead.
222
00:11:30,983 --> 00:11:33,351
I want you to sign something
that says that.
223
00:11:33,352 --> 00:11:35,787
Have you lost your mind?
224
00:11:35,788 --> 00:11:38,623
No, the question is,
have you?
225
00:11:38,624 --> 00:11:40,558
Why didn't you tell me
that terry was a guy?
226
00:11:40,559 --> 00:11:42,060
What does it matter?
227
00:11:42,061 --> 00:11:43,995
And why would you assume
terry's a woman?
228
00:11:43,996 --> 00:11:46,297
I hear "pilates instructor,"
I think lady.
229
00:11:46,298 --> 00:11:49,034
It's a lady job, like nurse,
kindergarten teacher,
230
00:11:49,035 --> 00:11:50,869
And until recently,
cheerleader.
231
00:11:50,870 --> 00:11:53,972
Why is this even
an issue?
232
00:11:53,973 --> 00:11:55,273
You've never been jealous.
233
00:11:55,274 --> 00:11:58,043
Hell, we go to a bar,
you want me to look single
234
00:11:58,044 --> 00:12:00,211
So someone else will
buy my drinks.
235
00:12:00,212 --> 00:12:03,448
That's different.
But you know what...
236
00:12:03,449 --> 00:12:06,117
I guess I know now
why you were all revved up
237
00:12:06,118 --> 00:12:07,385
When I got home yesterday.
238
00:12:07,386 --> 00:12:09,921
Oh, terry is not why
I was in the mood!
239
00:12:09,922 --> 00:12:11,156
Well,
you didn't get all hot
240
00:12:11,157 --> 00:12:12,457
When that lady
with the moustache came
241
00:12:12,458 --> 00:12:14,292
And organized our closets!
242
00:12:14,293 --> 00:12:17,162
I am not having this
conversation with you anymore.
243
00:12:17,163 --> 00:12:18,730
Can you honestly say
that when we were doing it,
244
00:12:18,731 --> 00:12:20,732
There wasn't a second where
you were thinking about him?
245
00:12:20,733 --> 00:12:23,301
Oh, aha!
No further questions!
246
00:12:23,302 --> 00:12:26,471
Okay, fine.
247
00:12:26,472 --> 00:12:28,473
Can I swear he didn't
flash into my head
248
00:12:28,474 --> 00:12:29,808
For one second? No.
249
00:12:29,809 --> 00:12:32,043
But can you swear you've never
thought about someone
250
00:12:32,044 --> 00:12:33,511
On your list of favorites,
huh?
251
00:12:33,512 --> 00:12:37,515
Christine aguilera, jessica
alba, jennifer aniston...
252
00:12:37,516 --> 00:12:38,583
- Okay, you've made your point.
- No, no. Wait, wait.
253
00:12:38,584 --> 00:12:40,585
I'm still on the "a"s.
254
00:12:40,586 --> 00:12:42,020
And you're the one
who's always saying,
255
00:12:42,021 --> 00:12:43,488
"it doesn't matter
where you get your appetite,
256
00:12:43,489 --> 00:12:45,023
As long as you have dinner
at home."
257
00:12:45,024 --> 00:12:48,126
That's only for guys.
258
00:12:48,127 --> 00:12:51,229
What do your ears hear
when you talk? Huh?
259
00:12:51,230 --> 00:12:54,399
Okay, look, I don't know
any of those women,
260
00:12:54,400 --> 00:12:56,734
And they certainly don't have
their hands all over me
261
00:12:56,735 --> 00:12:58,002
Right before we do it.
262
00:12:58,003 --> 00:13:00,572
I can't believe
you fired terry!
263
00:13:00,573 --> 00:13:03,842
You know what, when I want
to hear an idiot talk,
264
00:13:03,843 --> 00:13:04,943
I'll come back out.
265
00:13:04,944 --> 00:13:06,845
I'm going to the bedroom.
266
00:13:06,846 --> 00:13:08,880
Okay, now,
you're saying bedroom,
267
00:13:08,881 --> 00:13:14,152
But I'm not really getting
a sex vibe.
268
00:13:14,153 --> 00:13:16,554
But I am willing to--
[door slams shut]
269
00:13:16,555 --> 00:13:20,892
Jessica alba would never
toy with me like that.
270
00:13:24,330 --> 00:13:26,030
It's just the way I speak.
271
00:13:26,031 --> 00:13:28,733
Schhhedule, aluminium...
Sandwich.
272
00:13:28,734 --> 00:13:29,934
[chuckles]
273
00:13:29,935 --> 00:13:31,402
Well, that one's
pretty much the same.
274
00:13:31,403 --> 00:13:34,973
You're funny.
275
00:13:38,677 --> 00:13:39,777
What was that all about?
276
00:13:39,778 --> 00:13:42,046
Oh, guess who couldn't
stop going on
277
00:13:42,047 --> 00:13:43,681
About someone's
charming accent.
278
00:13:43,682 --> 00:13:45,984
I knew I shouldn't have
gone to the bathroom.
279
00:13:45,985 --> 00:13:48,553
Stupid free iced tea
refills!
280
00:13:48,554 --> 00:13:50,021
More iced tea, russell?
281
00:13:50,022 --> 00:13:51,456
Yes, please.
282
00:13:51,457 --> 00:13:54,292
- Oh, hello, mr. Bingham.
- Hey.
283
00:13:54,293 --> 00:13:55,627
Hey there.
Do you know what you want?
284
00:13:55,628 --> 00:13:57,762
Cheeseburger, fries.
Thanks.
285
00:13:57,763 --> 00:14:02,167
Bye, beth. Cheerio.
286
00:14:02,168 --> 00:14:04,335
Take it easy with that,
all right?
287
00:14:04,336 --> 00:14:05,336
And don't kid yourself.
288
00:14:05,337 --> 00:14:06,905
She'd never take you
over me
289
00:14:06,906 --> 00:14:09,941
Unless she wants
a curry slurpee.
290
00:14:09,942 --> 00:14:11,876
You're right...
291
00:14:11,877 --> 00:14:14,312
If she foregoes intelligence,
refinement, and charm
292
00:14:14,313 --> 00:14:17,549
In favor of a withered
sugar granddaddy.
293
00:14:19,485 --> 00:14:23,788
Wow, looks like the battle
of who-gives-a-crap rages on.
294
00:14:23,789 --> 00:14:25,089
What are you still
doing here?
295
00:14:25,090 --> 00:14:26,324
I thought audrey had
pilates.
296
00:14:26,325 --> 00:14:28,193
Shouldn't you be home
stuffing the goose?
297
00:14:28,194 --> 00:14:33,364
Turns out aud's
pilates instructor...A dude.
298
00:14:33,365 --> 00:14:34,666
What's the problem?
299
00:14:34,667 --> 00:14:37,569
He preheats the oven,
and you put in the bird.
300
00:14:37,570 --> 00:14:39,571
The issue is,
doin'-it-wise,
301
00:14:39,572 --> 00:14:41,873
She should be thinking
about me and nobody else.
302
00:14:41,874 --> 00:14:43,474
Why?
When I'm with a chick,
303
00:14:43,475 --> 00:14:45,343
I don't care if she's
thinking of someone else.
304
00:14:45,344 --> 00:14:48,780
Of course she is.
Look at you.
305
00:14:50,783 --> 00:14:52,350
It's your only hope.
306
00:14:52,351 --> 00:14:54,886
Yeah, I mean, after 15 years,
what do you want?
307
00:14:54,887 --> 00:14:57,255
"hey, jeff, you got
a new gray chest hair.
308
00:14:57,256 --> 00:14:59,123
Let's do this!"
309
00:15:01,193 --> 00:15:02,727
At least I've got
chest hair.
310
00:15:02,728 --> 00:15:04,395
When I saw you
in the locker room last week,
311
00:15:04,396 --> 00:15:06,764
I thought you were
dakota fanning.
312
00:15:06,765 --> 00:15:08,967
Oh, you mean young
and adorable?
313
00:15:08,968 --> 00:15:10,768
I'll take it.
314
00:15:10,769 --> 00:15:12,904
Wow.
315
00:15:12,905 --> 00:15:14,973
Listen, everyone fantasizes
about someone better.
316
00:15:14,974 --> 00:15:17,375
That's what better people
are for.
317
00:15:17,376 --> 00:15:19,677
I know, but the people
the I fantasize about
318
00:15:19,678 --> 00:15:20,845
I'm never gonna meet.
319
00:15:20,846 --> 00:15:23,982
Unless halle berry
returns your fan letters.
320
00:15:23,983 --> 00:15:27,518
But there audrey is,
she's fantasizing about some guy
321
00:15:27,519 --> 00:15:29,821
Who was just rubbing her
and groping her.
322
00:15:29,822 --> 00:15:31,990
Here's your--
oh, my gosh!
323
00:15:31,991 --> 00:15:35,493
I am so sorry.
There's dressing on your pants.
324
00:15:35,494 --> 00:15:37,095
[mild gasp]
325
00:15:41,700 --> 00:15:44,469
Let me grab a wet rag.
326
00:15:44,470 --> 00:15:46,871
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
327
00:15:46,872 --> 00:15:48,406
Let's get her back here.
328
00:15:48,407 --> 00:15:52,844
Oh, my god.
Beth, I spilled too.
329
00:15:52,845 --> 00:15:56,347
I need a...
330
00:15:56,348 --> 00:16:02,387
Manuel, puedes limpiar los
pantalones de senor dunbar?
331
00:16:02,388 --> 00:16:04,255
No, manuel...Ow.
332
00:16:04,256 --> 00:16:05,957
Thank you.
Thank you.
333
00:16:05,958 --> 00:16:08,559
Nice to see you, manuel.
No, I'm fine.
334
00:16:10,296 --> 00:16:12,997
- [jeff sighs]
- hey.
335
00:16:12,998 --> 00:16:14,332
If you're looking
at chippendales dancers,
336
00:16:14,333 --> 00:16:15,667
Don't worry about it.
337
00:16:15,668 --> 00:16:17,602
I can take it.
338
00:16:17,603 --> 00:16:21,205
Yes, jeff, because
oiled gay men in bow ties
339
00:16:21,206 --> 00:16:23,541
Really get me going.
340
00:16:23,542 --> 00:16:24,776
No, you'll be happy to know
I'm looking for
341
00:16:24,777 --> 00:16:26,577
A female pilates
instructor.
342
00:16:26,578 --> 00:16:28,413
The way god intended.
343
00:16:28,414 --> 00:16:33,484
I'm sure that god was okay
with guy pilates instructors.
344
00:16:33,485 --> 00:16:34,919
And if it's good enough
for him--
345
00:16:34,920 --> 00:16:36,354
Or her.
346
00:16:36,355 --> 00:16:40,191
Don't push it, audrey.
347
00:16:40,192 --> 00:16:42,293
Look, I'm sorry that
I overreacted.
348
00:16:42,294 --> 00:16:44,262
It's just the thought
of some guy...
349
00:16:44,263 --> 00:16:46,664
Look, don't even say it.
350
00:16:46,665 --> 00:16:49,400
Come on, you know you have
nothing to worry about.
351
00:16:49,401 --> 00:16:51,536
You're my man, period.
352
00:16:51,537 --> 00:16:54,539
And in a way,
your insanity was flattering.
353
00:16:54,540 --> 00:16:56,040
You're welcome.
354
00:16:56,041 --> 00:16:58,810
Besides, I'm better looking
than terry anyway, aren't I?
355
00:16:58,811 --> 00:17:02,480
Oh, come on, do I even have
to answer that question?
356
00:17:02,481 --> 00:17:06,584
Seriously,
please don't make me.
357
00:17:06,585 --> 00:17:08,586
Here's an idea. How about
the next time we do it,
358
00:17:08,587 --> 00:17:11,356
Let's have it be
just us.
359
00:17:11,357 --> 00:17:13,624
Hmm, you sure penelope cruz
won't feel left out?
360
00:17:13,625 --> 00:17:17,495
I am not sure,
361
00:17:17,496 --> 00:17:19,297
But she can take care
of herself,
362
00:17:19,298 --> 00:17:21,532
Which she's used to.
363
00:17:21,533 --> 00:17:23,801
It's a pretty consistent part
of the fantasy.
364
00:17:23,802 --> 00:17:26,270
Seriously,
I'm gonna record you.
365
00:17:26,271 --> 00:17:28,272
You should know
what you're putting out there.
366
00:17:28,273 --> 00:17:31,075
Speaking of putting out.
367
00:17:31,076 --> 00:17:33,344
Uh-uh. Try harder.
368
00:17:33,345 --> 00:17:36,547
All right,
hey, pretty lady,
369
00:17:36,548 --> 00:17:39,751
How 'bout we try out that
no-fantasy policy right now?
370
00:17:39,752 --> 00:17:41,586
Better.
371
00:17:41,587 --> 00:17:43,855
I'm gonna make you forget
all about
372
00:17:43,856 --> 00:17:49,227
That pilates looooooo-zer!
373
00:17:49,228 --> 00:17:55,333
Mm, I bet you will,
my big, sexy man.
374
00:18:00,873 --> 00:18:04,542
Oh, my god, have you guys
been here all day?
375
00:18:04,543 --> 00:18:06,210
We took an hour break
when beth had lunch.
376
00:18:06,211 --> 00:18:07,945
Yeah, she spotted us
at the park.
377
00:18:07,946 --> 00:18:10,181
If it comes up,
we're avid bird-watchers.
378
00:18:10,182 --> 00:18:11,382
This is insane.
She's a waitress.
379
00:18:11,383 --> 00:18:13,317
- They're paid to be friendly.
- Exactly.
380
00:18:13,318 --> 00:18:15,019
- That's what I keep telling him.
- I was talking to both of you.
381
00:18:15,020 --> 00:18:17,088
- What? She likes me!
- Really?
382
00:18:17,089 --> 00:18:19,791
Just like roxie the lap dancer
liked you.
383
00:18:19,792 --> 00:18:21,092
Yes, she did.
384
00:18:21,093 --> 00:18:22,960
The only thing that stood
between us and happiness
385
00:18:22,961 --> 00:18:24,729
Was club policy.
386
00:18:24,730 --> 00:18:28,099
Seriously, when are you guys
gonna stop kidding yourselves?
387
00:18:30,235 --> 00:18:32,537
You know what,
mr. Dunbar,
388
00:18:32,538 --> 00:18:35,106
Perhaps we should admit
that jennifer has a point.
389
00:18:35,107 --> 00:18:36,507
Yeah, maybe she's right.
390
00:18:36,508 --> 00:18:37,842
I don't think she's into
either of us.
391
00:18:37,843 --> 00:18:38,943
We should get out of here.
392
00:18:38,944 --> 00:18:40,578
- Uhh...
- Hey.
393
00:18:40,579 --> 00:18:41,913
I don't know
if you guys have room,
394
00:18:41,914 --> 00:18:43,448
But here's a muffin
on the house.
395
00:18:43,449 --> 00:18:44,415
Oh.
396
00:18:44,416 --> 00:18:46,517
Both: See?
She gave me a muffin.
397
00:18:46,518 --> 00:18:49,854
Both: She gave it to me!
Give it!
398
00:18:49,855 --> 00:18:51,055
- Mine!
- My muffin! Gimme!
399
00:18:51,056 --> 00:18:52,557
You're embarrassing!
400
00:18:52,558 --> 00:18:54,225
Wait, wait, wait!
401
00:18:54,226 --> 00:18:56,494
Something wonderful's
happening.
402
00:18:59,498 --> 00:19:01,399
Oh, god!
403
00:19:01,400 --> 00:19:05,002
Oh, this can't be right.
404
00:19:05,003 --> 00:19:09,173
No! No, stay here.
405
00:19:09,174 --> 00:19:10,608
Hello.
406
00:19:10,609 --> 00:19:11,943
I don't know
if you all remember,
407
00:19:11,944 --> 00:19:14,345
But yesterday you had some fun
at my expense,
408
00:19:14,346 --> 00:19:15,947
And then at the expense
of jen.
409
00:19:15,948 --> 00:19:18,816
But to show her that there is
nothing to be ashamed of,
410
00:19:18,817 --> 00:19:22,353
I decided to wear my colors
with pride.
411
00:19:22,354 --> 00:19:23,488
Oh, well, that's good
because you've got
412
00:19:23,489 --> 00:19:25,656
That big parade coming up,
I think.
413
00:19:25,657 --> 00:19:29,093
Look, honey,
I know you're doing this
414
00:19:29,094 --> 00:19:30,194
To try and win me over.
415
00:19:30,195 --> 00:19:32,730
There's just nothing good
about this.
416
00:19:32,731 --> 00:19:34,298
It's kind of lame.
417
00:19:34,299 --> 00:19:36,200
I see.
418
00:19:36,201 --> 00:19:37,969
Well, I'm sorry
you feel that way.
419
00:19:37,970 --> 00:19:39,704
Oh, no,
my little sister's balloon!
420
00:19:39,705 --> 00:19:42,707
Oh, that's really
up there.
421
00:19:42,708 --> 00:19:44,375
- I'll see if we have a ladder.
- Beth...
422
00:19:44,376 --> 00:19:47,778
That won't be necessary.
If I may?
423
00:19:52,017 --> 00:19:55,019
[sharp exhale]
424
00:19:55,020 --> 00:19:57,588
Ready, and up!
425
00:20:00,726 --> 00:20:06,898
[applause]
426
00:20:06,899 --> 00:20:09,433
- You're like a superhero.
- No...
427
00:20:09,434 --> 00:20:13,237
Just a simple cheerleader.
It's what we do.
428
00:20:13,238 --> 00:20:14,672
You know what,
429
00:20:14,673 --> 00:20:17,542
- That was actually impressive.
- See?
430
00:20:17,543 --> 00:20:19,911
There's nothing
to be embarrassed about.
431
00:20:19,912 --> 00:20:22,813
And way to have spirit,
everybody!
432
00:20:22,814 --> 00:20:24,649
- Okay, that's plenty.
- * we got spirit *
433
00:20:24,650 --> 00:20:26,617
♪ yeah, yeah, we got spirit ♪
434
00:20:26,618 --> 00:20:28,853
♪ yeah, yeah,
we got what, what ♪
435
00:20:28,854 --> 00:20:31,589
♪ what, what,
what-wh-wh-what ♪
436
00:20:31,590 --> 00:20:33,090
♪ we got spirit ♪
437
00:20:33,091 --> 00:20:36,794
Whoo!
438
00:20:36,795 --> 00:20:39,330
There's your boy!
439
00:20:42,167 --> 00:20:43,734
All right, everybody,
check this one out.
440
00:20:43,735 --> 00:20:45,002
♪ let's go ♪
441
00:20:45,003 --> 00:20:46,870
♪ we're pirates, not sailors ♪
442
00:20:46,871 --> 00:20:48,339
♪ but pirates, but pirates ♪
443
00:20:48,340 --> 00:20:50,240
♪ there's no need
to remind us ♪
444
00:20:50,241 --> 00:20:53,477
♪ the football team's
behind us ♪
445
00:20:56,548 --> 00:20:58,847
My pants are falling off.
446
00:20:58,848 --> 00:21:04,848
447
00:21:04,898 --> 00:21:09,448
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