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1
00:00:02,773 --> 00:00:03,873
Ah.
2
00:00:03,874 --> 00:00:05,441
Timmy, what are you
doing in my office?
3
00:00:05,442 --> 00:00:07,076
Oh, I just dropped a little
gift on your desk, sir.
4
00:00:07,077 --> 00:00:11,881
Aw, you're like the
fourth assistant to do that.
5
00:00:11,882 --> 00:00:15,318
And you wrapped it?
Well, there's a new twist.
6
00:00:15,319 --> 00:00:17,353
Sir, while the thought
had crossed my mind,
7
00:00:17,354 --> 00:00:19,622
this gift was in fact
sent by your mother.
8
00:00:19,623 --> 00:00:20,673
Oh, it was?
9
00:00:20,674 --> 00:00:23,559
Oh, she's coming to town. Yay.
10
00:00:23,560 --> 00:00:25,862
I was surprised
that you had a mother.
11
00:00:25,863 --> 00:00:28,264
I didn't imagine you
coming from human flesh.
12
00:00:28,265 --> 00:00:33,436
Yeah, well she's more
plastic than flesh now.
13
00:00:33,437 --> 00:00:36,239
A book, that sucks.
14
00:00:36,240 --> 00:00:39,175
Ah, a paintball gun.
Yeah, boy!
15
00:00:39,176 --> 00:00:41,644
I like this one.
I just need something to shoot.
16
00:00:41,645 --> 00:00:44,781
Ooh, put this on your head.
17
00:00:44,782 --> 00:00:47,417
Sir, just how stupid
do you think I am?
18
00:00:47,418 --> 00:00:50,620
What's up, guys?
19
00:00:50,621 --> 00:00:51,621
Mr. Rhodes,
would you please
20
00:00:51,622 --> 00:00:54,724
place this on your head?
21
00:00:54,725 --> 00:00:57,460
Can do.
22
00:00:59,563 --> 00:01:02,732
[Paintballs firing]
23
00:01:09,006 --> 00:01:10,973
He totally missed the book.
24
00:01:40,414 --> 00:01:42,882
All right, babe, have fun.
25
00:01:42,883 --> 00:01:44,650
Jen says hey from Philadelphia.
26
00:01:44,651 --> 00:01:46,686
Ah, she gets
cell phone reception
27
00:01:46,687 --> 00:01:50,256
in the eagles' locker room?
28
00:01:50,257 --> 00:01:51,324
Funny.
29
00:01:51,325 --> 00:01:52,692
Yeah, she's
visiting college friends.
30
00:01:52,693 --> 00:01:57,230
Jen went to college
in the eagles' locker room?
31
00:01:57,231 --> 00:01:58,898
Another good one.
32
00:01:58,899 --> 00:02:00,132
Heh, heh.
33
00:02:00,133 --> 00:02:01,801
So are you guys ready
for my big guys' night?
34
00:02:01,802 --> 00:02:04,003
Uh, sorry, other plans.
35
00:02:04,004 --> 00:02:05,004
Yeah, same here.
36
00:02:05,005 --> 00:02:06,439
No, but I've got three dips.
37
00:02:06,440 --> 00:02:10,710
And one's got seven layers.
That's like ten dips.
38
00:02:10,711 --> 00:02:12,011
Look, I don't know
how to say this,
39
00:02:12,012 --> 00:02:13,946
but your guys' night's
gonna blow.
40
00:02:13,947 --> 00:02:16,415
You did know how to say it.
41
00:02:16,416 --> 00:02:18,817
- Okay you know what,
you guys are dis-invited,
42
00:02:18,818 --> 00:02:20,219
- I don't need you.
- Whoa.
43
00:02:20,220 --> 00:02:21,454
Who are you gonna have?
44
00:02:21,455 --> 00:02:24,123
Who?
Who am I not gonna have.
45
00:02:24,124 --> 00:02:25,925
My place is gonna be
wall-to-wall dudes,
46
00:02:25,926 --> 00:02:28,160
and you two are gonna miss it.
47
00:02:29,463 --> 00:02:31,597
All right,
so what do you think?
48
00:02:31,598 --> 00:02:33,466
You look like
Barney with boobs.
49
00:02:38,889 --> 00:02:41,407
We're interviewing possible
surrogate candidates today.
50
00:02:41,408 --> 00:02:43,576
And we're gonna find one.
51
00:02:43,577 --> 00:02:45,444
We're gonna finally
get this whole deal started.
52
00:02:45,445 --> 00:02:46,979
Yup, by the end of the day,
53
00:02:46,980 --> 00:02:49,448
we may know
who's gonna carry our child.
54
00:02:49,449 --> 00:02:51,984
Oh, and there's more big news.
55
00:02:51,985 --> 00:02:56,489
My softball banquet is tonight.
56
00:02:56,490 --> 00:02:58,908
Right, which is
equally important.
57
00:02:58,909 --> 00:03:01,060
The MVP vote is tonight.
58
00:03:01,061 --> 00:03:02,061
It's between me and Brenda.
59
00:03:02,062 --> 00:03:03,529
Brenda.
60
00:03:03,530 --> 00:03:05,765
How can a girl
be that good at softball?
61
00:03:05,766 --> 00:03:08,250
She's a lesbian.
62
00:03:08,251 --> 00:03:09,468
When we're
interviewing the surrogates,
63
00:03:09,469 --> 00:03:11,537
could you please try to
think before you talk?
64
00:03:11,538 --> 00:03:12,571
Fine.
65
00:03:12,572 --> 00:03:13,539
But all I know is,
at that banquet tonight,
66
00:03:13,540 --> 00:03:17,376
that lesbian is going down.
67
00:03:22,316 --> 00:03:23,382
Oh, yo, yo.
68
00:03:23,383 --> 00:03:25,484
Timmy-limmy-ding-dong!
69
00:03:25,485 --> 00:03:27,586
Did you get my message
about guys' night?
70
00:03:27,587 --> 00:03:31,724
A little pizza, booze, staying
up till question mark.
71
00:03:31,725 --> 00:03:33,626
Sounds like a rowdy good time.
72
00:03:33,627 --> 00:03:35,328
- Right on.
- Ah.
73
00:03:35,329 --> 00:03:36,862
Although I am
taking antibiotics
74
00:03:36,863 --> 00:03:37,863
so I shant drink,
75
00:03:37,864 --> 00:03:39,598
and I really do
have an early morning,
76
00:03:39,599 --> 00:03:41,367
so I should
turn in by 10:00.
77
00:03:41,368 --> 00:03:44,603
All right.
Question mark equals 10:00.
78
00:03:46,707 --> 00:03:47,840
Hello.
79
00:03:47,841 --> 00:03:50,009
Hello, you must
be Mrs. Dunbar, so pleased...
80
00:03:50,010 --> 00:03:51,344
This is Bunny Dunbar.
81
00:03:51,345 --> 00:03:52,962
I would like to
make an appointment
82
00:03:52,963 --> 00:03:54,880
at your salon for later today.
83
00:03:54,881 --> 00:03:57,183
Hi, mom.
I'm glad you could...
84
00:03:57,184 --> 00:04:00,686
Which services?
All of them, of course.
85
00:04:00,687 --> 00:04:05,057
Everything you've got,
just do, do, do it to me.
86
00:04:05,058 --> 00:04:07,109
Oh, great.
Thank you so much. Bye.
87
00:04:07,110 --> 00:04:10,279
- Rusty.
- Mommy.
88
00:04:10,280 --> 00:04:13,566
Don't touch.
89
00:04:13,567 --> 00:04:19,171
And you must be, um,
Russ' Sherpa?
90
00:04:23,443 --> 00:04:25,444
- My name is Timir.
- Oh.
91
00:04:25,445 --> 00:04:26,746
But please do call me Timmy.
92
00:04:26,747 --> 00:04:28,514
It's a real pleasure
to meet you, Mrs. Dunbar.
93
00:04:28,515 --> 00:04:31,117
- Oh, please, Mrs. Dunbar is
my ex-mother-in-law
94
00:04:31,118 --> 00:04:34,286
who, incidentally,
I wish was dead.
95
00:04:34,287 --> 00:04:37,456
- My grandma.
- Call me Bunny.
96
00:04:37,457 --> 00:04:40,092
All right.
Bunny.
97
00:04:40,093 --> 00:04:41,961
Oh, I just love your accent.
98
00:04:41,962 --> 00:04:44,497
Is it British with, like,
a touch of south African?
99
00:04:44,498 --> 00:04:45,464
Am I right?
100
00:04:45,465 --> 00:04:46,965
No, mom, actually Timmy's...
101
00:04:46,966 --> 00:04:48,834
Yes, you're exactly right.
102
00:04:48,835 --> 00:04:51,771
Huh, you learn
something new every day.
103
00:04:51,772 --> 00:04:52,838
Yes.
104
00:04:52,839 --> 00:04:56,742
Every day for
the last two years.
105
00:04:56,743 --> 00:04:59,145
Anyway, mom, so maybe today,
106
00:04:59,146 --> 00:05:00,145
lunch?
A movie?
107
00:05:00,146 --> 00:05:02,715
Mother-son
portrait sitting?
108
00:05:02,716 --> 00:05:04,817
Honey, I'm so sorry,
but I'm booked up
109
00:05:04,818 --> 00:05:05,951
for the rest of the day,
110
00:05:05,952 --> 00:05:07,787
and then tomorrow
I'm flying to London.
111
00:05:07,788 --> 00:05:12,358
But I am guessing that you
had a birthday this year.
112
00:05:12,359 --> 00:05:13,959
[Squeals]
113
00:05:13,960 --> 00:05:14,994
I knew it.
114
00:05:14,995 --> 00:05:17,797
So I just popped by
to give you this.
115
00:05:17,798 --> 00:05:20,433
Ooh la la!
116
00:05:20,434 --> 00:05:21,500
Wonder what it is.
117
00:05:21,501 --> 00:05:22,468
Sounds wildly expensive.
118
00:05:22,469 --> 00:05:24,470
Well, yeah, but you deserve it.
119
00:05:24,471 --> 00:05:26,972
Based on...?
120
00:05:26,973 --> 00:05:30,009
Rusty, your little friend
is so charming.
121
00:05:30,010 --> 00:05:32,411
I'd love him to
join us for dinner tonight.
122
00:05:32,412 --> 00:05:33,946
I would be absolutely honored.
123
00:05:33,947 --> 00:05:35,197
Oh, splendid.
124
00:05:35,198 --> 00:05:36,415
And now I have to go.
125
00:05:36,416 --> 00:05:37,950
I have to have
a young Brazilian man
126
00:05:37,951 --> 00:05:40,086
tend to my every need.
127
00:05:40,087 --> 00:05:43,122
And then I'm going to the spa.
128
00:05:43,123 --> 00:05:45,858
I'm laughing because
it's uncomfortable.
129
00:05:45,859 --> 00:05:47,910
Ciao, boys.
130
00:05:47,911 --> 00:05:50,463
Ciao.
131
00:05:50,464 --> 00:05:53,332
And Vince cut the cord,
and the doctor
132
00:05:53,333 --> 00:05:55,301
handed the baby to Teresa,
133
00:05:55,302 --> 00:05:58,137
and even though
I was only the surrogate,
134
00:05:58,138 --> 00:05:59,638
I burst into tears.
135
00:05:59,639 --> 00:06:04,443
Oh, that sounds
so perfect and wonderful.
136
00:06:04,444 --> 00:06:06,846
Yeah, it's all real solid.
137
00:06:06,847 --> 00:06:07,930
And if this works out,
138
00:06:07,931 --> 00:06:09,064
I'll be getting
into the city more,
139
00:06:09,065 --> 00:06:14,653
so I can catch
some Yankees games.
140
00:06:14,654 --> 00:06:16,655
You're a Yankees fan.
141
00:06:16,656 --> 00:06:18,190
Uh, Jeff's a mets fan.
142
00:06:18,191 --> 00:06:20,025
But what baseball team
anyone likes
143
00:06:20,026 --> 00:06:22,912
should have no bearing
on what we're doing here.
144
00:06:22,913 --> 00:06:25,798
Of course not.
145
00:06:25,799 --> 00:06:27,032
What difference should it make
146
00:06:27,033 --> 00:06:28,901
that your team just
buys the pennant every year.
147
00:06:28,902 --> 00:06:30,069
Jeff.
148
00:06:30,070 --> 00:06:32,271
The Yankees develop a ton
of their own talent.
149
00:06:32,272 --> 00:06:34,340
Jeter, Posada, Rivera.
150
00:06:34,341 --> 00:06:35,341
All home grown.
151
00:06:35,342 --> 00:06:38,911
Uh, you're
smoking some home grown.
152
00:06:38,912 --> 00:06:39,979
You're done talking.
153
00:06:39,980 --> 00:06:42,348
So, uh, should we
call the agency, or...
154
00:06:42,349 --> 00:06:44,350
Maybe October's a good time,
155
00:06:44,351 --> 00:06:46,635
since Jeff won't have
any baseball to watch.
156
00:06:46,636 --> 00:06:52,591
[Fake laugh]
This isn't gonna work.
157
00:06:52,592 --> 00:06:55,978
Sorry, he blew it.
Same way the mets always do.
158
00:06:55,979 --> 00:06:57,563
We'll see next year.
159
00:06:57,564 --> 00:07:00,065
We'll see.
160
00:07:00,066 --> 00:07:01,534
She's not wrong.
161
00:07:01,535 --> 00:07:04,970
Until the mets get another bat
and some middle relief...
162
00:07:04,971 --> 00:07:08,707
They're not going anywhere.
163
00:07:08,708 --> 00:07:11,827
What was your mother's
belated birthday gift, sir?
164
00:07:11,828 --> 00:07:12,878
A money clip.
165
00:07:12,879 --> 00:07:14,747
I won't say
how much she gave me,
166
00:07:14,748 --> 00:07:19,385
but every bill has a picture
of president Franklin.
167
00:07:19,386 --> 00:07:21,287
Benjamin Franklin
was not president.
168
00:07:21,288 --> 00:07:25,057
Heh heh, not of your country.
169
00:07:25,058 --> 00:07:26,425
Because you had
the starving dude
170
00:07:26,426 --> 00:07:29,528
with the glasses
and the diaper.
171
00:07:29,529 --> 00:07:32,565
Gandhi certainly
had that coming.
172
00:07:32,566 --> 00:07:34,483
Well, I shouldn't
flaunt my gifts.
173
00:07:34,484 --> 00:07:37,102
I mean,
you had it tough growing up.
174
00:07:37,103 --> 00:07:38,303
What was your
Christmas present?
175
00:07:38,304 --> 00:07:43,008
You get to ride the goat
before everyone ate it?
176
00:07:43,009 --> 00:07:44,944
We didn't
celebrate Christmas, sir.
177
00:07:44,945 --> 00:07:48,214
You didn't even
get to ride the goat.
178
00:07:48,215 --> 00:07:49,281
All you got for your birthday
179
00:07:49,282 --> 00:07:52,351
was a phone call
from your mom in India.
180
00:07:52,352 --> 00:07:54,353
What phone call?
181
00:07:54,354 --> 00:07:56,038
Oh, your mom called
a couple of months ago.
182
00:07:56,039 --> 00:07:59,525
I think you were getting me
a bagel or something.
183
00:07:59,526 --> 00:08:01,527
Why on earth
didn't you say something?
184
00:08:01,528 --> 00:08:03,696
I know I didn't,
but I will now.
185
00:08:03,697 --> 00:08:07,700
Watch the
personal calls at work.
186
00:08:07,701 --> 00:08:09,301
Sir, my mother gave me
the greatest gifts of all.
187
00:08:09,302 --> 00:08:12,004
Love, support,
and quality time.
188
00:08:12,005 --> 00:08:14,340
Yeah, poor people presents.
189
00:08:14,341 --> 00:08:18,277
Sir, all this stuff
your mother gives you
190
00:08:18,278 --> 00:08:20,879
is merely a sad replacement
for any of those things.
191
00:08:20,880 --> 00:08:22,281
It's not all stuff.
192
00:08:22,282 --> 00:08:25,618
He said, fondling
his wad of 100s.
193
00:08:25,619 --> 00:08:28,854
How about she's taking me
to dinner tonight.
194
00:08:28,855 --> 00:08:30,322
How about that
"quality time" for ya?
195
00:08:30,323 --> 00:08:32,291
Very well.
196
00:08:32,292 --> 00:08:36,578
If you do decide
to give it a thought,
197
00:08:36,579 --> 00:08:38,230
perhaps you'll realize
there's some truth
198
00:08:38,231 --> 00:08:41,300
to what I'm saying, sir.
199
00:08:41,301 --> 00:08:44,136
Give it some thought.
Ugh.
200
00:08:47,040 --> 00:08:49,575
It was so nice to meet you,
and I am so glad
201
00:08:49,576 --> 00:08:51,410
you don't care about baseball.
202
00:08:51,411 --> 00:08:53,178
All righty then.
203
00:08:53,179 --> 00:08:55,247
Well, I guess
we'll be talking soon.
204
00:08:55,248 --> 00:08:56,565
- Yeah.
- I hope so.
205
00:08:56,566 --> 00:08:59,318
I guess if this works out,
206
00:08:59,319 --> 00:09:00,719
we'll have to shift
our time table.
207
00:09:00,720 --> 00:09:01,820
Why?
208
00:09:01,821 --> 00:09:02,921
Well, we'll have to wait
for you
209
00:09:02,922 --> 00:09:05,424
- to give birth to that one.
- Oh, my God.
210
00:09:14,167 --> 00:09:18,404
I guess she had somewhere
to go, but I like our chances.
211
00:09:22,575 --> 00:09:24,576
Mr. Rhodes,
your pizza arrived.
212
00:09:24,577 --> 00:09:25,911
Ah.
Sweet.
213
00:09:25,912 --> 00:09:27,446
I'm having a big guys' night.
214
00:09:27,447 --> 00:09:29,581
Oh, got friends coming over?
215
00:09:29,582 --> 00:09:33,018
Well, a lot of solid maybes.
216
00:09:33,019 --> 00:09:34,153
You want in?
217
00:09:34,154 --> 00:09:36,855
I'm working.
Hence the outfit.
218
00:09:36,856 --> 00:09:38,474
Hey, come up when
your shift is over.
219
00:09:38,475 --> 00:09:42,895
Let's call that
another solid maybe.
220
00:09:42,896 --> 00:09:46,031
But we're gonna be crushing it
on the late tip.
221
00:09:46,032 --> 00:09:48,233
I don't know what that means.
222
00:09:52,305 --> 00:09:54,540
[Elevator powers down]
223
00:09:54,541 --> 00:09:56,041
Frank?
224
00:09:56,042 --> 00:09:58,844
The elevator
seems to have stopped.
225
00:09:58,845 --> 00:10:00,679
[Knocking on elevator door]
226
00:10:00,680 --> 00:10:03,215
Frankie!
227
00:10:06,619 --> 00:10:09,955
So how is everyone's food?
228
00:10:09,956 --> 00:10:12,257
Oh, were it legal for a man
to marry a plate of paella,
229
00:10:12,258 --> 00:10:14,693
I would take this to city hall
post haste.
230
00:10:14,694 --> 00:10:18,464
Marrying food must be legal.
231
00:10:18,465 --> 00:10:21,934
Rusty's father
is married to a tart.
232
00:10:21,935 --> 00:10:24,169
Okay, I think she's referring
to my stepmom, Cammy,
233
00:10:24,170 --> 00:10:26,822
who is several years my junior.
234
00:10:26,823 --> 00:10:29,608
Who, unlike some people,
called me on my birthday.
235
00:10:29,609 --> 00:10:33,846
Darling, you know that your
birthday is very hard for me.
236
00:10:33,847 --> 00:10:37,182
It reminds me that
time does not stand still,
237
00:10:37,183 --> 00:10:40,986
even though
the muscles of my face do.
238
00:10:40,987 --> 00:10:45,124
Mommy's very upset right now.
239
00:10:45,125 --> 00:10:47,693
My goodness, I would not want
to play poker against you.
240
00:10:51,131 --> 00:10:53,832
Oh, no, sorry.
Have I offended you?
241
00:10:53,833 --> 00:10:57,269
Not at all.
I'm laughing.
242
00:10:57,270 --> 00:11:00,355
Rusty, I know
this is hard for you,
243
00:11:00,356 --> 00:11:01,907
but in my own defense,
244
00:11:01,908 --> 00:11:03,776
I've always
missed your birthday.
245
00:11:03,777 --> 00:11:05,227
Well, that's true.
246
00:11:05,228 --> 00:11:06,645
But I think
the hurt has finally
247
00:11:06,646 --> 00:11:08,647
caught up to me
now that I'm 35.
248
00:11:08,648 --> 00:11:11,216
35, please.
249
00:11:11,217 --> 00:11:12,918
Well, he is 35.
250
00:11:12,919 --> 00:11:14,386
I mean, I had him
when I was 17,
251
00:11:14,387 --> 00:11:17,289
and now I'm 52.
252
00:11:17,290 --> 00:11:20,793
Yes, well, I guess
that makes me seven.
253
00:11:20,794 --> 00:11:24,296
Well, rusty, I'm here now,
254
00:11:24,297 --> 00:11:26,965
and I know what to do
to make it up to you.
255
00:11:26,966 --> 00:11:30,202
- You do?
- Yes.
256
00:11:30,203 --> 00:11:31,336
Here.
257
00:11:31,337 --> 00:11:34,573
Oh, another gift.
258
00:11:34,574 --> 00:11:36,241
I thought it might be something
a little more...
259
00:11:36,242 --> 00:11:40,345
Well, it was very expensive.
Wait until you see it.
260
00:11:40,346 --> 00:11:43,515
Ah, a very expensive watch.
261
00:11:43,516 --> 00:11:46,385
Yes. And I had
three links removed
262
00:11:46,386 --> 00:11:50,756
so it would fit
my rusty's wrist perfectly.
263
00:11:50,757 --> 00:11:54,526
It's five links, mom.
264
00:11:54,527 --> 00:11:56,561
It's always been five links.
265
00:11:56,562 --> 00:11:58,297
How can you not know that?
266
00:11:58,298 --> 00:12:01,099
It doesn't hug my wrist,
267
00:12:01,100 --> 00:12:05,237
and it does not hug my heart!
268
00:12:05,238 --> 00:12:07,506
Rusty, stop!
Where are you going?
269
00:12:12,606 --> 00:12:14,174
Oh, no.
270
00:12:14,228 --> 00:12:16,763
I left my phone at home, and
Abby's supposed to call tonight.
271
00:12:16,764 --> 00:12:17,798
Abby?
272
00:12:17,799 --> 00:12:20,100
Yeah, our last
surrogate candidate.
273
00:12:20,101 --> 00:12:22,185
Right, right.
Don't worry about it.
274
00:12:22,186 --> 00:12:23,737
She's got my number...
When she gets your voice mail,
275
00:12:23,738 --> 00:12:24,805
she'll call me.
276
00:12:24,806 --> 00:12:26,907
All right, okay.
I'm counting on you.
277
00:12:26,908 --> 00:12:28,809
- Hey, Audrey.
- Oh, hey, Brenda.
278
00:12:28,810 --> 00:12:31,178
I see you let Jeff
out of his cage tonight.
279
00:12:31,179 --> 00:12:32,479
What's up, you big gorilla?
280
00:12:32,480 --> 00:12:33,947
Nothing much, carrot top.
281
00:12:33,948 --> 00:12:37,751
Look who has a light beer.
Why don't you grow a pair?
282
00:12:37,752 --> 00:12:39,353
Oh, well, I could borrow yours,
283
00:12:39,354 --> 00:12:41,622
except they're
in Audrey's purse.
284
00:12:41,623 --> 00:12:43,824
And you know,
for your information,
285
00:12:43,825 --> 00:12:45,325
the reason I am
drinking a light beer
286
00:12:45,326 --> 00:12:47,728
is because I don't want to end
up with a body like yours.
287
00:12:47,729 --> 00:12:51,898
Um, the last chick you dated
had a body exactly like mine.
288
00:12:51,899 --> 00:12:55,836
- Uh-uh, she was
only rocking "b" cups.
289
00:12:58,673 --> 00:13:00,641
Wow, I didn't think
it was possible,
290
00:13:00,642 --> 00:13:03,276
but you two are actually
classing this place down.
291
00:13:03,277 --> 00:13:04,594
Um...
292
00:13:04,595 --> 00:13:06,546
I gotta go make sure
that Sully has
293
00:13:06,547 --> 00:13:08,582
the correct spelling of my name
for the trophy.
294
00:13:08,583 --> 00:13:09,933
Oh, okay.
295
00:13:09,934 --> 00:13:12,185
Well, it's probably written
in your underwear, right?
296
00:13:16,024 --> 00:13:17,624
I get why you
went the other way.
297
00:13:17,625 --> 00:13:19,760
Yeah, and Jeff's
always there to remind me
298
00:13:19,761 --> 00:13:21,261
of what I'm not missing.
299
00:13:21,262 --> 00:13:22,562
Tell me about it.
300
00:13:22,563 --> 00:13:24,131
We have been trying
to find a surrogate,
301
00:13:24,132 --> 00:13:27,000
and he is dragging his feet
the whole way.
302
00:13:27,001 --> 00:13:28,368
- Why?
- I don't know.
303
00:13:28,369 --> 00:13:30,470
There's gotta be something
going on with him.
304
00:13:30,471 --> 00:13:32,472
Hey, um, just out of curiosity,
305
00:13:32,473 --> 00:13:35,676
what is the process for
joining up with your side?
306
00:13:35,677 --> 00:13:38,011
Oh, God.
We would love to have you.
307
00:13:38,012 --> 00:13:41,448
Plus, I could really
use the commission.
308
00:13:45,787 --> 00:13:47,654
How's it going out there?
309
00:13:47,655 --> 00:13:50,090
Hector the repairman's
on his way.
310
00:13:50,091 --> 00:13:52,592
Right on.
Yeah, the more the merrier.
311
00:13:52,593 --> 00:13:56,029
Are you implying that
this is your guys' night,
312
00:13:56,030 --> 00:13:59,332
and you're counting the
repairman and me as attendees?
313
00:13:59,333 --> 00:14:01,401
Is that all right?
314
00:14:01,402 --> 00:14:03,704
Yeah, that's all right.
315
00:14:03,705 --> 00:14:06,440
Also pretty sad.
316
00:14:06,441 --> 00:14:09,142
Hey!
Hola, Hector.
317
00:14:09,143 --> 00:14:12,679
Oh, there he is.
That guy, he's the guy.
318
00:14:12,680 --> 00:14:15,115
Cold one
coming your way, Hector.
319
00:14:16,784 --> 00:14:19,920
Oh...
320
00:14:19,921 --> 00:14:21,254
No worries, man.
Let's try it again.
321
00:14:21,255 --> 00:14:24,841
Heads up, Hector.
322
00:14:26,494 --> 00:14:29,763
Guys, we're out of beer.
323
00:14:34,669 --> 00:14:36,970
And another one for Brenda.
324
00:14:36,971 --> 00:14:39,356
[Cheers] Boo.
325
00:14:39,357 --> 00:14:43,110
Abby hasn't called yet.
Let me see your phone.
326
00:14:43,111 --> 00:14:45,779
Jeff, you missed six calls.
Oh, damn it.
327
00:14:45,780 --> 00:14:47,981
I was about to take it
off silent.
328
00:14:47,982 --> 00:14:49,750
Perfect.
And voice mail.
329
00:14:49,751 --> 00:14:51,118
I swear, I'm going to punch you
in the neck!
330
00:14:51,119 --> 00:14:54,371
Hi, Abby, it's Audrey.
331
00:14:54,372 --> 00:14:56,873
Listen, if you haven't
left town yet,
332
00:14:56,874 --> 00:14:58,525
could you please call Jeff's
phone again?
333
00:14:58,526 --> 00:15:02,062
Thank you.
334
00:15:02,063 --> 00:15:04,197
I'm sorry.
335
00:15:04,198 --> 00:15:05,699
And one more for Brenda.
336
00:15:05,700 --> 00:15:08,068
Well, looks like
the vote is a tie.
337
00:15:08,069 --> 00:15:09,402
A tie?
338
00:15:09,403 --> 00:15:11,054
Yeah, that's
what's important here,
339
00:15:11,055 --> 00:15:13,306
that stupid softball trophy.
340
00:15:13,307 --> 00:15:16,076
- Hey, Audrey played in a game.
- Yeah, she should get a vote.
341
00:15:16,077 --> 00:15:18,245
Okay, Audrey,
342
00:15:18,246 --> 00:15:20,313
we need you to decide who wins.
343
00:15:25,219 --> 00:15:28,922
Congratulations.
344
00:15:28,923 --> 00:15:31,291
No.
No, I haven't decided yet.
345
00:15:31,292 --> 00:15:34,227
I know how much this trophy
means to Jeff.
346
00:15:34,228 --> 00:15:38,098
Recently he's been
thoughtless and selfish,
347
00:15:38,099 --> 00:15:40,667
and I can barely look at him
right now.
348
00:15:40,668 --> 00:15:45,472
But being the bigger person,
I vote for Jeff.
349
00:15:49,010 --> 00:15:51,645
Yeah!
[Shouts]
350
00:15:51,646 --> 00:15:52,779
Yes!
351
00:15:52,780 --> 00:15:56,783
Yeah, look at this baby!
I love it!
352
00:16:04,625 --> 00:16:08,628
[Knock on door]
353
00:16:08,629 --> 00:16:12,332
Come in.
354
00:16:12,333 --> 00:16:13,533
Rusty?
355
00:16:13,534 --> 00:16:16,236
Hey, mom.
What'd you bring me this time?
356
00:16:16,237 --> 00:16:19,706
Oh, rusty, I'm really sorry
357
00:16:19,707 --> 00:16:21,041
that I haven't
been there for you
358
00:16:21,042 --> 00:16:23,143
in the way that
you wanted me to be.
359
00:16:23,144 --> 00:16:25,912
Timmy and I have had
a good long talk about it.
360
00:16:25,913 --> 00:16:27,047
- Timmy?
- Yes, sir.
361
00:16:27,048 --> 00:16:28,682
You're mother insisted
I enlighten her
362
00:16:28,683 --> 00:16:29,950
as to why you're so upset.
363
00:16:29,951 --> 00:16:30,917
Yeah.
364
00:16:30,918 --> 00:16:32,385
Some of it has
hit me pretty hard.
365
00:16:32,386 --> 00:16:35,288
Well, somebody
had to start the dialogue
366
00:16:35,289 --> 00:16:37,791
to let the healing begin.
367
00:16:37,792 --> 00:16:41,094
That was me.
I did that.
368
00:16:41,095 --> 00:16:42,629
Timmy has made me realize that
369
00:16:42,630 --> 00:16:45,432
I haven't been
much of a mother to you.
370
00:16:47,635 --> 00:16:50,303
Well, I barely saw you after
you won the custody battle
371
00:16:50,304 --> 00:16:52,939
and I had to stay with dad.
372
00:16:55,776 --> 00:16:59,546
I know I can't change the past.
373
00:16:59,547 --> 00:17:01,615
But I'm finally
going to give you the gift
374
00:17:01,616 --> 00:17:04,918
that I should have given you
a long time ago.
375
00:17:04,919 --> 00:17:07,837
A pony?
Is there a pony in the hallway?
376
00:17:07,838 --> 00:17:09,089
No.
377
00:17:09,090 --> 00:17:10,790
No, I am going to give you
the gift
378
00:17:10,791 --> 00:17:13,226
of self-reliance
and independence.
379
00:17:13,227 --> 00:17:14,678
No more trust fund.
380
00:17:14,679 --> 00:17:15,845
Wait, that's not
what I suggested.
381
00:17:15,846 --> 00:17:17,797
That's not what I suggested.
382
00:17:17,798 --> 00:17:20,850
No more free apartment.
383
00:17:20,851 --> 00:17:23,970
No more my business manager
paying all the bills.
384
00:17:23,971 --> 00:17:27,040
You're finally going
to become a real man.
385
00:17:27,041 --> 00:17:29,809
With a pony?
386
00:17:29,810 --> 00:17:33,280
It's time to grow up, rusty.
387
00:17:33,281 --> 00:17:35,348
I don't want to.
388
00:17:35,349 --> 00:17:38,485
It's for the best.
389
00:17:38,486 --> 00:17:40,287
I love you, son.
390
00:17:46,294 --> 00:17:48,828
And let's have breakfast
together tomorrow
391
00:17:48,829 --> 00:17:49,863
before I leave.
392
00:17:49,864 --> 00:17:51,498
I'd like that.
393
00:17:51,499 --> 00:17:54,501
Bye.
394
00:17:59,974 --> 00:18:01,574
Hmm.
395
00:18:09,150 --> 00:18:10,383
[Clears throat]
396
00:18:10,384 --> 00:18:13,086
Just not in the face, sir.
397
00:18:14,889 --> 00:18:17,057
[Repeated paintball gunfire]
398
00:18:17,058 --> 00:18:22,028
Ow...
Nor the genitals.
399
00:18:22,029 --> 00:18:23,997
Jeff,
400
00:18:23,998 --> 00:18:26,032
Sully just threw up
on my sandal.
401
00:18:26,033 --> 00:18:27,600
I'm going to go try
to rinse it off,
402
00:18:27,601 --> 00:18:29,235
- and then I'd like to leave.
- Yeah, but then you're going...
403
00:18:29,236 --> 00:18:31,304
I'm okay missing
the slide show.
404
00:18:31,305 --> 00:18:33,573
You can watch it online later.
405
00:18:33,574 --> 00:18:36,676
I'm not gonna
watch it online later.
406
00:18:36,677 --> 00:18:40,580
And they let you people
get married, and not me.
407
00:18:40,581 --> 00:18:42,682
Audrey, I'm sorry I've been
such a jackass.
408
00:18:42,683 --> 00:18:44,985
This whole surrogate thing
has just got me crazy.
409
00:18:44,986 --> 00:18:47,187
Yeah, why is it taking so long?
410
00:18:47,188 --> 00:18:49,823
From my point of view,
the problem is Jeff exists.
411
00:18:49,824 --> 00:18:52,359
I guess the idea of a stranger
412
00:18:52,360 --> 00:18:54,494
being such a big part
of our lives
413
00:18:54,495 --> 00:18:55,495
just seems weird to me.
414
00:18:55,496 --> 00:18:58,064
I don't let a stranger
park my car.
415
00:18:58,065 --> 00:19:02,102
Yeah, 'cause then
you'd have to tip them.
416
00:19:02,103 --> 00:19:04,137
I make a salary.
417
00:19:04,138 --> 00:19:06,439
And we've been burned before.
418
00:19:06,440 --> 00:19:07,841
And whoever you end up choosing,
419
00:19:07,842 --> 00:19:10,510
you don't really know 'em...
It's rough.
420
00:19:10,511 --> 00:19:12,512
Yes, I know.
It's rough.
421
00:19:12,513 --> 00:19:15,915
But it's where we are.
422
00:19:18,753 --> 00:19:19,753
I'll do it.
423
00:19:19,754 --> 00:19:22,589
Both: What?
424
00:19:22,590 --> 00:19:24,924
What are you saying?
425
00:19:24,925 --> 00:19:28,395
I'm saying that
I'll be your surrogate,
426
00:19:28,396 --> 00:19:29,596
you know, if you want.
427
00:19:29,597 --> 00:19:32,632
Are you serious?
428
00:19:32,633 --> 00:19:35,268
Yeah.
429
00:19:35,269 --> 00:19:37,937
Yeah.
I'm serious.
430
00:19:37,938 --> 00:19:40,273
Put your baby in me.
431
00:19:40,274 --> 00:19:43,743
Wait...
So this is real?
432
00:19:43,744 --> 00:19:45,945
You would actually
do this for us?
433
00:19:45,946 --> 00:19:47,480
Yeah.
434
00:19:47,481 --> 00:19:49,215
Audrey, I really like you.
435
00:19:49,216 --> 00:19:54,254
And, Jeff,
you're...Married to her.
436
00:19:57,358 --> 00:19:58,558
We accept.
437
00:19:58,559 --> 00:19:59,926
Great.
438
00:19:59,927 --> 00:20:02,362
I would kiss you,
but I wouldn't want
439
00:20:02,363 --> 00:20:04,264
to make you all hot
and confused.
440
00:20:04,265 --> 00:20:06,933
Yeah, we probably
shouldn't risk it.
441
00:20:06,934 --> 00:20:10,036
Thank you.
Oh, thank you so much.
442
00:20:10,037 --> 00:20:12,856
- This is amazing.
- I like where this is headed.
443
00:20:14,375 --> 00:20:17,143
You realize you're signing on
for about a year of this.
444
00:20:25,582 --> 00:20:26,916
[Ding]
445
00:20:27,010 --> 00:20:28,644
Adam?
446
00:20:29,538 --> 00:20:31,607
Jeff.
447
00:20:31,638 --> 00:20:33,673
[Chuckles]
448
00:20:33,674 --> 00:20:35,908
You made it, big dog!
449
00:20:35,909 --> 00:20:37,643
Yeah, we're out of beer.
450
00:20:37,644 --> 00:20:39,478
Uh, the other guys left.
451
00:20:39,479 --> 00:20:43,132
But we could get
our rally on, huh?
452
00:20:43,133 --> 00:20:44,951
No, Jeff, come back here.
453
00:20:44,952 --> 00:20:47,286
Look, I'm very hungry.
[Ding]
454
00:20:47,287 --> 00:20:49,589
Help me, please!
455
456
00:20:59,975 --> 00:21:04,525
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