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1
00:00:04,336 --> 00:00:07,706
You take water,
and you freeze it. That's the recipe.
2
00:00:07,740 --> 00:00:09,607
Rizzo: for ice?
3
00:00:09,641 --> 00:00:11,109
Yeah. It's just
frozen water.
4
00:00:11,143 --> 00:00:13,978
Declan: yup.
5
00:00:14,013 --> 00:00:16,381
?
to the wha, wha,
to the wha, to the wha, to the wha, wha ?
6
00:00:16,415 --> 00:00:17,648
Guess what.
7
00:00:17,683 --> 00:00:19,551
Williams: what?
Guess what.
8
00:00:19,585 --> 00:00:20,752
All: what?
9
00:00:20,787 --> 00:00:24,355
Guess who has a secret
admirer. Yours truly. Look.
10
00:00:24,389 --> 00:00:30,261
"Lieutenant Dangle,
Jim Dangle, one day your heart will be mine."
11
00:00:30,295 --> 00:00:34,065
Wow.
It came with a prop.
12
00:00:34,099 --> 00:00:35,200
All: whoa!
13
00:00:35,234 --> 00:00:36,234
Declan:
oh, my god.
14
00:00:36,268 --> 00:00:37,902
Pig heart.
Williams: what is that?
15
00:00:37,936 --> 00:00:39,704
Death threat. Not
an admirer--A death threat.
16
00:00:39,738 --> 00:00:41,572
Junior: you should
just do your... dust for, uh...
17
00:00:41,607 --> 00:00:46,344
Dangle: it's a death threat.
It's a death threat, people! Death threat!
18
00:00:47,913 --> 00:00:50,081
Son of a bitch!
God damn it!
19
00:00:54,820 --> 00:00:56,855
They all have guns!
20
00:01:04,496 --> 00:01:05,464
Ow!
21
00:01:05,498 --> 00:01:06,965
Push them together?
22
00:01:06,999 --> 00:01:08,399
Sheriff's department!
I need your bike!
23
00:01:10,336 --> 00:01:12,970
Aah! Gah!
24
00:01:13,005 --> 00:01:15,173
[Siren]
25
00:01:15,207 --> 00:01:18,076
[Click click click]
26
00:01:18,111 --> 00:01:20,344
Uh! Uh!
27
00:01:21,347 --> 00:01:22,947
Watch. Over the line.
28
00:01:22,982 --> 00:01:24,182
Aah!
29
00:01:27,919 --> 00:01:30,889
Captioning made possible by
MTV networks
30
00:01:30,923 --> 00:01:32,223
Dangle:
good morning, party people.
31
00:01:32,257 --> 00:01:33,658
Wiegel:
good morning.
32
00:01:33,692 --> 00:01:35,327
Come on, everybody.
Call it out. "Good morning, lieutenant."
33
00:01:35,361 --> 00:01:37,129
All: good morning, lieutenant.
34
00:01:37,163 --> 00:01:41,365
Thank you, sergeant.
How does everybody like the new wall color?
35
00:01:43,969 --> 00:01:44,969
What did it
used to be?
36
00:01:45,003 --> 00:01:45,970
Are you sure they did it?
37
00:01:46,005 --> 00:01:46,971
Yeah.
38
00:01:47,005 --> 00:01:47,973
Rizzo: it looks the same.
39
00:01:48,007 --> 00:01:49,407
What was it before?
40
00:01:49,441 --> 00:01:52,710
I thought it w--Uh, OK.
Maybe they didn't-- Never mind.
41
00:01:52,745 --> 00:01:54,612
You know what? This is--
I gave tomorrow's announcement.
42
00:01:54,646 --> 00:01:56,480
They're painting
the walls tonight.
43
00:01:56,515 --> 00:02:00,218
I do all the week's
announcements sometimes in advance.
44
00:02:00,252 --> 00:02:02,954
Ah. That's tomorrow.
45
00:02:02,988 --> 00:02:04,389
Tomorrow I'll ask you
what you think of the new wall color.
46
00:02:04,423 --> 00:02:05,623
This is the same.
47
00:02:05,657 --> 00:02:06,958
Yeah. So no
painting was done.
48
00:02:06,993 --> 00:02:10,862
Uh, OK. In assignments,
there's a warrant, uh,
49
00:02:10,897 --> 00:02:14,598
For Reuben
"the bone" Alvarez. The drug trafficker.
50
00:02:14,633 --> 00:02:17,001
We need an undercover team
to pose as a couple--
51
00:02:17,036 --> 00:02:21,005
Uh, I thought Jones
and Williams seemed sort of plausible--
52
00:02:21,040 --> 00:02:23,208
To infiltrate
the midnight swingers.
53
00:02:23,242 --> 00:02:26,911
Alvarez is a known member
of this sex club.
54
00:02:26,946 --> 00:02:28,212
What's a sex club?
55
00:02:28,247 --> 00:02:29,747
Dangle:
it's like a key party.
56
00:02:29,781 --> 00:02:31,249
Rizzo: yeah,
they're key parties.
57
00:02:31,284 --> 00:02:33,818
Key parties is
where sexually promiscuous couples get together
58
00:02:33,852 --> 00:02:35,653
And they throw their
car keys in a bowl,
59
00:02:35,688 --> 00:02:38,456
And then they take them out
and they fuck each other.
60
00:02:38,491 --> 00:02:39,791
With the keys?
61
00:02:39,825 --> 00:02:41,793
No, no, no. Each other
depending on whose key they have.
62
00:02:41,827 --> 00:02:43,394
With their
penises. Yeah.
63
00:02:43,429 --> 00:02:45,764
What if you walked
to the party?
64
00:02:45,798 --> 00:02:47,632
Do you still get
to get fucked?
65
00:02:47,666 --> 00:02:49,834
You could always--
You'll always get fucked at the party,
66
00:02:49,869 --> 00:02:52,537
No matter whether you get
there by foot, by car, by hovercraft, by float.
67
00:02:52,571 --> 00:02:55,440
You're always gonna
get--You're all ready to fucked.
68
00:02:55,474 --> 00:02:59,844
So that means we're gonna--
We're gonna get to fuck people, too.
69
00:02:59,878 --> 00:03:01,779
Dangle: no. That's exactly
what you don't need to do.
70
00:03:01,814 --> 00:03:04,716
Declan: you know what?
I'd like to do some undercover.
71
00:03:04,750 --> 00:03:05,883
Dangle: you're not
getting this one.
72
00:03:05,918 --> 00:03:07,418
No. I don't have to
have this one.
73
00:03:07,453 --> 00:03:09,721
I'm just saying I got
myself a fake beard at the 99-Cent store.
74
00:03:09,755 --> 00:03:12,523
I'd like to be considered
the next time there's an undercover assignment.
75
00:03:12,558 --> 00:03:14,124
The next time something--
I need a bearded guy,
76
00:03:14,159 --> 00:03:16,561
If I need, like, a Hasidim
or, like, an Amish guy--
77
00:03:16,595 --> 00:03:19,730
What about, like,
a big, fat homeless guy? He could do that.
78
00:03:19,764 --> 00:03:22,033
Why does he have to
be big and fat?
79
00:03:27,506 --> 00:03:30,975
Today it is a somber
day in Reno.
80
00:03:31,009 --> 00:03:35,313
We honor
our fallen comrade James Oswaldo Garcia.
81
00:03:35,347 --> 00:03:37,582
Per his last wishes,
82
00:03:37,616 --> 00:03:41,152
Firing his cremated
ashes out of a cannon.
83
00:03:41,187 --> 00:03:43,187
Ready, detail!
84
00:03:43,222 --> 00:03:44,188
Dangle:
careful!
85
00:03:44,223 --> 00:03:45,689
Jones:
aw, shit.
86
00:03:45,724 --> 00:03:49,094
Dangle: aw, god damn it.
Everyone scoop him up. Scoop him up.
87
00:03:49,128 --> 00:03:51,262
Get as much Garcia
back in as you can.
88
00:03:51,296 --> 00:03:53,765
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
What the fuck? What?
89
00:03:53,799 --> 00:03:55,867
What the fuck?
Live cannon.
90
00:03:55,901 --> 00:03:58,002
Ew. Ew. What if this part
is his balls?
91
00:03:58,037 --> 00:04:00,672
Some part of this
is his balls, OK?
92
00:04:00,706 --> 00:04:01,906
Stop blowing right onto me.
Blow to the right of me.
93
00:04:01,941 --> 00:04:03,474
No, stop blowing.
94
00:04:03,509 --> 00:04:04,875
Don't blow it at
me. Blow down the god damn thing.
95
00:04:04,910 --> 00:04:06,043
[Coughing]
96
00:04:06,077 --> 00:04:08,013
There we go. Most of it.
There's most of it.
97
00:04:08,047 --> 00:04:13,984
Hya. Sounding! Hya! Fire!
98
00:04:16,922 --> 00:04:19,357
Didn't go.
Did it go? I plugged my ears. Did it go?
99
00:04:19,391 --> 00:04:20,825
Obviously it didn't go.
100
00:04:20,860 --> 00:04:25,430
James Garcia,
we salute you! Fire!
101
00:04:26,565 --> 00:04:27,799
Nope.
102
00:04:27,833 --> 00:04:29,534
We got to just get
the thing out of the bottom of it.
103
00:04:29,568 --> 00:04:32,102
Get the thing out
of the bottom. It's all right. Crawl.
104
00:04:32,137 --> 00:04:33,104
Wiegel:
we have a hold of it?
105
00:04:33,138 --> 00:04:34,605
I got it. I got it.
I almost got it.
106
00:04:34,640 --> 00:04:35,940
Should I try to
get it loose?
107
00:04:35,974 --> 00:04:37,608
OK, totally stuck.
Totally stuck, for real.
108
00:04:37,642 --> 00:04:39,110
Keep tapping it.
Leave it. Good.
109
00:04:39,144 --> 00:04:40,845
Jiggle it.
OK, jiggle it.
110
00:04:40,879 --> 00:04:48,853
All: ?
amazing grace,
how sweet the sound ?
111
00:04:48,887 --> 00:04:57,629
?
that saved a wretch like me ?
112
00:04:57,663 --> 00:04:59,664
Hey, look at me.
I got a big black dick.
113
00:05:02,100 --> 00:05:04,802
What if we just sat this up
on a fence and shot at it?
114
00:05:04,837 --> 00:05:07,105
I think Garcia would
approve, oddly enough.
115
00:05:13,178 --> 00:05:14,679
[Horn honking]
116
00:05:14,713 --> 00:05:16,181
[Car alarm]
117
00:05:18,850 --> 00:05:20,651
Fucking Garcia, man.
Shit
118
00:05:20,685 --> 00:05:22,286
Fucking Mexicans.
Wow.
119
00:05:27,059 --> 00:05:28,025
Hello.
How you doing?
120
00:05:28,059 --> 00:05:29,026
Hi.
121
00:05:29,061 --> 00:05:30,561
Sheriff's department.
122
00:05:30,596 --> 00:05:37,468
Uh, you guys sent us
a stool sample, and we're wondering why.
123
00:05:37,502 --> 00:05:41,038
Huh. Um... I don't
have a clue.
124
00:05:41,072 --> 00:05:42,173
OK.
125
00:05:42,208 --> 00:05:46,111
Uh, I guess I can make
some calls, I guess.
126
00:05:46,145 --> 00:05:47,378
Great.
127
00:05:47,413 --> 00:05:50,714
Let me try doctor, uh,
Dr. Diphold, see what he says.
128
00:05:50,749 --> 00:05:52,117
I'm here with the Reno
sheriff's department.
129
00:05:52,151 --> 00:05:55,719
They were sent
a, uh, Tupperware container
130
00:05:55,754 --> 00:05:57,055
Of what appears to
be human stool.
131
00:05:57,089 --> 00:05:58,055
It's very hard.
132
00:05:58,089 --> 00:05:59,057
It's hard and--
133
00:05:59,091 --> 00:06:00,725
Might have been
constipated.
134
00:06:00,759 --> 00:06:03,995
And very dry. Yeah.
It appears to be pretty tight, too.
135
00:06:04,029 --> 00:06:07,331
It's not a loose stool.
Uh, you can hear it.
136
00:06:07,366 --> 00:06:08,932
Can you hear it?
137
00:06:08,967 --> 00:06:11,669
That's kind of what
it sounds like.
138
00:06:11,704 --> 00:06:13,972
OK. You--You have
no idea--No one from your department
139
00:06:14,006 --> 00:06:16,440
Sent that? All right.
140
00:06:16,475 --> 00:06:19,444
OK. All right. No,
I'll see you then.
141
00:06:19,478 --> 00:06:22,880
OK, bye. Let me try
operations--Building operations.
142
00:06:22,915 --> 00:06:24,382
OK.
Maybe they just found something
143
00:06:24,416 --> 00:06:26,283
And they didn't know
what to do with it.
144
00:06:26,318 --> 00:06:28,452
Well, I mean if
they just found it,
145
00:06:28,487 --> 00:06:30,621
They could have just
maybe thrown it out.
146
00:06:30,656 --> 00:06:33,557
Yeah, no. Yeah, I can hold.
She's got me on hold.
147
00:06:33,592 --> 00:06:35,326
You know, for the record,
148
00:06:35,360 --> 00:06:37,328
We don't need this much
stool for a DNA test.
149
00:06:37,362 --> 00:06:38,796
That's a lot.
150
00:06:38,830 --> 00:06:41,966
This is--This is way, way
more stool than we need.
151
00:06:42,001 --> 00:06:43,167
How much is--
152
00:06:43,201 --> 00:06:45,169
All you need is,
like, a cigar snip.
153
00:06:45,204 --> 00:06:47,004
If that. If that.
Oh, just the tip?
154
00:06:47,039 --> 00:06:48,272
If that.
155
00:06:48,306 --> 00:06:50,408
Do me a favor.
Just open that up.
156
00:06:50,442 --> 00:06:52,076
I know it may
sound weird, but...
157
00:06:54,847 --> 00:06:57,248
[Music box playing]
158
00:07:02,321 --> 00:07:04,655
OK, I know who
sent that.
159
00:07:04,689 --> 00:07:07,592
We fired that guy.
He's batshit crazy.
160
00:07:11,997 --> 00:07:14,966
I don't get excited
about my job very often, OK?
161
00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:19,137
But I'm extremely
excited about this undercover job
162
00:07:19,171 --> 00:07:22,573
Because the women
at these key parties--
163
00:07:22,608 --> 00:07:25,877
I don't know if you
know about these-- The people there.
164
00:07:28,047 --> 00:07:29,613
Man: the urine
on the carpet--
165
00:07:29,648 --> 00:07:31,916
Woman: it's not gonna
come out, is it? It's not gonna come out.
166
00:07:31,951 --> 00:07:35,486
I think it's
because I had some cranberry juice,
167
00:07:35,521 --> 00:07:39,390
And that way it tends to
take the yellow and--
168
00:07:39,425 --> 00:07:43,727
Hello!
Hello! New people.
169
00:07:43,762 --> 00:07:46,464
Welcome! Hey. Ah.
Oh, my goodness.
170
00:07:46,498 --> 00:07:47,831
How are you?
171
00:07:47,866 --> 00:07:50,401
Can I fuck you
right now or later? I don't know.
172
00:07:50,435 --> 00:07:53,370
We're, uh, friends
of Reuben Alvarez.
173
00:07:53,405 --> 00:07:57,007
Oh, OK. Well, then
that's all right. Sure.
174
00:07:57,042 --> 00:07:58,142
And we got keys.
175
00:07:58,177 --> 00:08:00,011
Oh!
176
00:08:00,045 --> 00:08:01,612
That's like
an open invitation. Boom. Right there.
177
00:08:01,647 --> 00:08:02,947
The key?
178
00:08:02,981 --> 00:08:06,684
You gonna put
it right down there? Key to the snatch pack.
179
00:08:06,718 --> 00:08:07,785
Key to the snatch pack.
180
00:08:07,820 --> 00:08:09,554
You know your stuff.
You're no beginner.
181
00:08:09,588 --> 00:08:11,989
Right there,
sweetheart. Just put it right there.
182
00:08:12,023 --> 00:08:14,559
I'm gonna memorize--OK.
183
00:08:14,593 --> 00:08:17,962
Are you hard-Core?
Are you trash 'em and smash 'em?
184
00:08:17,996 --> 00:08:19,797
Are you gentle
but sweet? What?
185
00:08:19,831 --> 00:08:21,298
Urination?
186
00:08:21,333 --> 00:08:22,333
Um...
187
00:08:22,368 --> 00:08:23,701
Yes.
188
00:08:23,735 --> 00:08:25,703
All of that.
All of that. Yes.
189
00:08:25,738 --> 00:08:27,038
Thank you, Monique.
190
00:08:27,072 --> 00:08:28,605
Monique is having
surgery tomorrow.
191
00:08:28,640 --> 00:08:29,607
We hope she
makes it.
192
00:08:29,642 --> 00:08:30,741
Good lady.
Good lady.
193
00:08:30,775 --> 00:08:32,843
Good luck to you.
194
00:08:32,878 --> 00:08:34,846
We lost so many
members to puzzles.
195
00:08:34,880 --> 00:08:36,614
Like, everybody
started doing puzzles,
196
00:08:36,648 --> 00:08:38,015
And they left
the swing scene.
197
00:08:38,049 --> 00:08:39,550
Oh, really?
Yeah. Horrible.
198
00:08:39,584 --> 00:08:40,718
A lot of our people.
199
00:08:40,752 --> 00:08:44,355
Horrible what that hobby
can do to a person.
200
00:08:44,390 --> 00:08:46,390
I want to see just
exactly how you go down
201
00:08:46,425 --> 00:08:48,593
And how you react
so that I know what to expect,
202
00:08:48,627 --> 00:08:49,694
You know
what I mean?
203
00:08:49,728 --> 00:08:51,495
She calls me the Jackhammer.
Just hold on to my ears--
204
00:08:51,530 --> 00:08:54,732
Ooh! Ya ya ya
ya ya.
205
00:08:54,766 --> 00:08:58,335
Are you interested
in waterfront property, by any chance?
206
00:08:58,370 --> 00:09:00,771
Do you know of anybody
who's interested in waterfront property?
207
00:09:00,806 --> 00:09:02,640
Oh, yeah. We've got
an area
208
00:09:02,674 --> 00:09:05,475
That we're having
a hard time getting rid of.
209
00:09:14,719 --> 00:09:15,720
Hi.
210
00:09:15,754 --> 00:09:17,921
Hi.
Hi!
211
00:09:17,956 --> 00:09:19,190
Tell us what
your sign says, terry.
212
00:09:19,224 --> 00:09:21,292
It says "vote for me
or I'll pee on you."
213
00:09:21,327 --> 00:09:22,293
"Or I'll pee
on you."
214
00:09:22,327 --> 00:09:23,294
Yeah.
215
00:09:23,328 --> 00:09:25,129
What are you
running for, terry?
216
00:09:25,164 --> 00:09:26,631
President of
the United States.
217
00:09:26,665 --> 00:09:27,865
You're running
for president of the United States?
218
00:09:27,899 --> 00:09:30,267
You know, we had
one of those a while back.
219
00:09:30,302 --> 00:09:31,702
Who won?
220
00:09:31,737 --> 00:09:32,837
You're either real, real
late, or you're real early.
221
00:09:32,871 --> 00:09:34,138
Are you late, or
are you early, terry?
222
00:09:34,172 --> 00:09:35,806
I'm doing 2020.
223
00:09:35,841 --> 00:09:36,807
2020?
Yeah.
224
00:09:36,841 --> 00:09:37,809
All right.
225
00:09:37,843 --> 00:09:38,809
I want to get a head start.
226
00:09:38,843 --> 00:09:40,511
You want to get
a head start? Yeah.
227
00:09:40,545 --> 00:09:41,979
Lay a foundation?
You're doing a grass roots?
228
00:09:42,014 --> 00:09:44,581
Yeah. Some ass roots.
229
00:09:47,019 --> 00:09:49,553
Grass... roots?
230
00:09:49,587 --> 00:09:50,822
Terry?
What?
231
00:09:50,856 --> 00:09:53,324
Did you wake up
this morning...
232
00:09:53,359 --> 00:09:54,325
Yes.
233
00:09:54,359 --> 00:09:55,960
Get super, super,
super high...
234
00:09:55,994 --> 00:09:57,160
Make a sign
that said
235
00:09:57,195 --> 00:09:58,896
"Vote for me or
I'll pee on you,"
236
00:09:58,931 --> 00:10:01,766
And come down here
and harass everybody coming in and out?
237
00:10:01,800 --> 00:10:04,168
OK. I did wake up.
238
00:10:04,203 --> 00:10:05,703
OK. All right.
239
00:10:05,737 --> 00:10:08,839
I, uh--Something happened.
I don't remember.
240
00:10:08,873 --> 00:10:10,173
OK, this might be
the part where
241
00:10:10,208 --> 00:10:11,175
You got super, super,
super high, right?
242
00:10:11,210 --> 00:10:12,176
Maybe. We don't know.
243
00:10:12,210 --> 00:10:13,745
Might be.
We don't know.
244
00:10:13,779 --> 00:10:17,514
I did have
17 bowls of cereal.
245
00:10:17,548 --> 00:10:19,117
17 bowls of cereal.
246
00:10:19,151 --> 00:10:20,284
What kind of
cereal did you have, terry?
247
00:10:20,319 --> 00:10:22,086
It wasn't total, because
you know if you have
248
00:10:22,120 --> 00:10:24,188
A bowl of total, it's like
having 17 bowls of some--
249
00:10:24,223 --> 00:10:25,289
Of other cereals.
250
00:10:25,323 --> 00:10:26,424
Are you serious?
One bowl of total? Yeah.
251
00:10:26,458 --> 00:10:29,026
So you went with the
17 other cereals.
252
00:10:29,060 --> 00:10:30,828
You were high
even for you, terry.
253
00:10:30,862 --> 00:10:34,298
I've never been high.
Oh! Was that a dragon?
254
00:10:34,332 --> 00:10:36,734
OK, his fingers.
Obviously--
255
00:10:36,768 --> 00:10:37,735
I thought it was a dragon.
256
00:10:37,770 --> 00:10:38,736
OK, what's this?
257
00:10:38,770 --> 00:10:40,738
Thank god. It's spiders!
258
00:10:40,772 --> 00:10:41,738
OK, what's this?
259
00:10:41,773 --> 00:10:43,974
Fire!
260
00:10:44,008 --> 00:10:47,611
Genie. Genie.
261
00:10:47,646 --> 00:10:49,546
I don't know what
the fuck drug he's on.
262
00:10:52,284 --> 00:10:54,051
Uh, I have
a question.
263
00:10:54,086 --> 00:10:55,820
I got this in the
mail two days ago, and this says--
264
00:10:55,854 --> 00:10:57,722
Congratulation!
265
00:10:57,756 --> 00:10:58,856
You did this.
266
00:10:58,890 --> 00:10:59,891
Yeah!
267
00:10:59,925 --> 00:11:00,958
You promoted me
to captain.
268
00:11:00,992 --> 00:11:02,326
Congratulation.
You are captain.
269
00:11:02,360 --> 00:11:03,661
No, no, no,
no, no, no.
270
00:11:03,696 --> 00:11:05,530
You can't just
promote people to captain.
271
00:11:05,564 --> 00:11:08,966
See, just because--
You can't just go and randomly--
272
00:11:09,001 --> 00:11:12,804
You're looking at the new
captain! Whoo! Whoo!
273
00:11:12,838 --> 00:11:15,672
?
bop bop bop
bop bop bop bop! ?
274
00:11:15,707 --> 00:11:20,877
Ha ha! You're looking
at the captain of the Reno sheriff's department,
275
00:11:20,912 --> 00:11:25,149
And the first thing I
am doing is telling Dangle to go uhh!
276
00:11:25,183 --> 00:11:26,684
Hey, Jim, how about
you come out here?
277
00:11:26,718 --> 00:11:28,953
I just need to ask you
something.
278
00:11:30,522 --> 00:11:32,055
Hey, let's stop--
Let's--
279
00:11:32,090 --> 00:11:33,124
This is just a flat-out
waste of taxpayers' money.
280
00:11:33,158 --> 00:11:34,224
You know what I
want to ask you?
281
00:11:34,259 --> 00:11:35,326
To call me in that room.
282
00:11:35,360 --> 00:11:41,164
I want to ask you to
suck my dick.
283
00:11:48,840 --> 00:11:51,742
Cindy: congratulation!
You are all captain.
284
00:11:51,777 --> 00:11:53,778
Cindy has been, uh, making
everybody captain,
285
00:11:53,812 --> 00:11:58,248
So we'll just
forget all about that. See you, Cappy.
286
00:11:58,283 --> 00:12:00,851
I'm sorry, but you
know what I can do?
287
00:12:00,886 --> 00:12:05,256
I can make you
1/18 Mapoa Indian.
288
00:12:05,290 --> 00:12:06,757
Would you like that?
289
00:12:06,792 --> 00:12:08,058
Yeah, OK.
290
00:12:08,093 --> 00:12:09,526
You'll get $500
check every month from the casino.
291
00:12:09,561 --> 00:12:10,728
Would you like that?
292
00:12:10,762 --> 00:12:12,029
Yeah, that's
something, right? OK.
293
00:12:15,867 --> 00:12:18,368
There were just
daisy chains...
294
00:12:18,403 --> 00:12:19,570
Yeah.
295
00:12:19,605 --> 00:12:22,173
For miles.
People with their heads and people--
296
00:12:22,207 --> 00:12:23,307
Exciting time, huh?
297
00:12:23,341 --> 00:12:24,775
Exciting times
because Reagan
298
00:12:24,810 --> 00:12:28,011
Stimulated the economy,
and everything--
299
00:12:28,046 --> 00:12:32,082
Everything. Yeah.
That's when everybody went to the sex to make
300
00:12:32,117 --> 00:12:33,617
Them happy,
medicate themselves,
301
00:12:33,651 --> 00:12:35,285
And then found
out it was fun.
302
00:12:35,320 --> 00:12:37,788
And we got cheap
sheets from China.
303
00:12:37,823 --> 00:12:39,623
Yeah. Yeah.
304
00:12:39,658 --> 00:12:41,358
Do you think firemen
are overpaid?
305
00:12:47,499 --> 00:12:50,233
[Tires screech]
306
00:12:50,268 --> 00:12:54,839
Got a telegram. I didn't
know you could get a telegram anymore.
307
00:12:54,873 --> 00:12:57,174
It said "meet me at
the old filling station.
308
00:12:57,209 --> 00:12:59,676
All will be revealed."
309
00:12:59,711 --> 00:13:03,280
[Engine revving]
hello! Hello!
310
00:13:08,753 --> 00:13:10,487
Who are you?
Who are you?
311
00:13:10,521 --> 00:13:11,956
Who are you, man?
312
00:13:11,990 --> 00:13:13,190
Who are you, man?
313
00:13:13,224 --> 00:13:14,625
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
314
00:13:14,659 --> 00:13:17,561
Gary Morgan.
Reno sheriff's. Where's the lieutenant?
315
00:13:17,596 --> 00:13:19,863
I am the lieutenant!
316
00:13:19,898 --> 00:13:21,232
Put it down! Put your
gun on the ground!
317
00:13:21,266 --> 00:13:22,800
Put yours on the ground.
Put yours on the ground!
318
00:13:22,834 --> 00:13:24,401
Put yours first!
Put yours on the ground!
319
00:13:24,436 --> 00:13:26,771
Wait. Same time.
How's that?
320
00:13:29,975 --> 00:13:31,508
Where's the lieutenant?
321
00:13:31,543 --> 00:13:33,076
I am the lieutenant.
322
00:13:33,111 --> 00:13:35,713
Where's lieutenant Larry?
323
00:13:35,747 --> 00:13:37,314
Lieutenant Larry?
324
00:13:37,349 --> 00:13:38,815
The guy that's
been picking up
325
00:13:38,850 --> 00:13:40,918
The communique for
the last 10 years.
326
00:13:40,952 --> 00:13:42,586
Lieutenant Larry?
Oh, my god.
327
00:13:42,620 --> 00:13:44,688
Time to pick up the ants,
man. This is the day.
328
00:13:44,723 --> 00:13:47,091
Lieutenant Larry left
the sheriff's department,
329
00:13:47,125 --> 00:13:50,795
Like, 8 years ago.
I'm lieutenant Dangle.
330
00:13:52,297 --> 00:13:53,831
I've been dropping him
a communique for 10 years.
331
00:13:53,865 --> 00:13:55,566
It's time to take down
the ants, man.
332
00:13:55,600 --> 00:13:58,602
I've been undercover
for 10 years!
333
00:13:58,636 --> 00:13:59,937
Oh, boy.
334
00:13:59,971 --> 00:14:01,105
What the hell?!
335
00:14:01,139 --> 00:14:03,407
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
336
00:14:03,441 --> 00:14:04,641
Aah!
337
00:14:04,676 --> 00:14:06,443
Oh, boy. Are these
reel-to-reels?
338
00:14:06,477 --> 00:14:07,612
Of course.
339
00:14:07,646 --> 00:14:09,913
We have no way to play
those, I don't think.
340
00:14:09,947 --> 00:14:11,148
We have no way
to play these.
341
00:14:11,183 --> 00:14:13,117
I don't think we
have any way to play these.
342
00:14:13,151 --> 00:14:14,652
Was "chucha-cabbage"
aware of this?
343
00:14:14,686 --> 00:14:16,420
That's my guy.
He sent me in.
344
00:14:16,454 --> 00:14:20,858
Oh, poop on
a pogo stick. He's passed away.
345
00:14:20,892 --> 00:14:26,163
I feel like there might
have been a note on my desk about this
346
00:14:26,198 --> 00:14:30,968
That I skimmed. And
oh, boy, oh, boy, does it burn me up inside.
347
00:14:31,002 --> 00:14:32,636
I'm so mad right now.
348
00:14:32,670 --> 00:14:35,139
I'm so mad that I
might have accidentally skimmed that note
349
00:14:35,173 --> 00:14:36,840
That I'm gonna make
this up to you, OK?
350
00:14:36,875 --> 00:14:41,212
I am gonna take you...
to Sizzler.
351
00:14:41,246 --> 00:14:42,646
How do you like
that? You and me.
352
00:14:42,681 --> 00:14:44,348
Sizzler?
Yeah.
353
00:14:44,382 --> 00:14:46,183
All I can eat?
All you can eat.
354
00:14:46,218 --> 00:14:47,851
I wouldn't be
surprised if we got you a commendation.
355
00:14:47,886 --> 00:14:49,486
Nice work.
Ow.
356
00:14:49,520 --> 00:14:51,588
Nice work taking
down the ants.
357
00:14:51,623 --> 00:14:53,023
Shit.
358
00:14:53,057 --> 00:14:54,558
We'll talk to you soon.
We'll talk this week, right?
359
00:14:54,592 --> 00:14:55,726
You and me are
going to Sizzler, and we're gonna work this out.
360
00:14:55,761 --> 00:14:56,727
You call me.
361
00:14:56,761 --> 00:14:57,761
I certainly will.
362
00:14:57,796 --> 00:14:59,463
[Engine revs]
363
00:14:59,497 --> 00:15:02,199
Hey, this is Dangle.
We have a crazed drifter on Matthews,
364
00:15:02,233 --> 00:15:07,905
About 6'4", brown hair,
mustache, uh, about 185 pounds on 80.
365
00:15:07,939 --> 00:15:09,773
He is armed and
extremely dangerous.
366
00:15:09,807 --> 00:15:12,409
Uh, shoot to kill.
If you get a shot, take it.
367
00:15:21,186 --> 00:15:25,989
I have been to a key party,
but it wasn't as amazing as everybody talks about.
368
00:15:26,023 --> 00:15:29,126
I showed up at this party,
and this Mexican guy was, like,
369
00:15:29,161 --> 00:15:34,665
"Can I have your key?
And I gave him my key, he drove my car away,
370
00:15:34,699 --> 00:15:38,369
I went to the party, I came
back, he came back up,
371
00:15:38,403 --> 00:15:39,903
Gave me my car, and handed
me my key back.
372
00:15:39,938 --> 00:15:41,372
I think you
misunderstand what a key party is.
373
00:15:41,406 --> 00:15:44,541
No fingering, no making
out, no nothing. I was barely turned on.
374
00:15:48,613 --> 00:15:52,816
Hey, unborn baby.
It's your dad Craig.
375
00:15:52,851 --> 00:15:55,585
By now I've been lethally
injected with something
376
00:15:55,620 --> 00:15:57,421
And I'm in
the ground rotting,
377
00:15:57,455 --> 00:16:00,257
So I thought I'd take
this time to let you know
378
00:16:00,291 --> 00:16:03,560
That your old dad was
pretty good at some stuff.
379
00:16:03,595 --> 00:16:08,398
Two things--Murder
and magic.
380
00:16:08,432 --> 00:16:11,335
Magic's a great way
to make new friends.
381
00:16:11,369 --> 00:16:14,705
Let me show you
a few tricks.
382
00:16:14,739 --> 00:16:19,176
Hey, T-bone, what's that
behind--Oh, shit ah!
383
00:16:21,146 --> 00:16:23,147
Oh! Look at
that big fella.
384
00:16:23,181 --> 00:16:25,082
Don't let--Daddy's fine.
Daddy's fine.
385
00:16:25,117 --> 00:16:26,851
You done messed up.
You done messed up.
386
00:16:26,885 --> 00:16:29,987
Turn the tape off.
387
00:16:30,021 --> 00:16:33,590
White people
are so weird.
388
00:16:33,625 --> 00:16:36,827
I can hear you.
We also have excellent hearing.
389
00:16:38,730 --> 00:16:41,698
Replay that part
where he's getting raped in the corner.
390
00:16:46,004 --> 00:16:48,973
Appraiser on TV:
part of Virginia's history was Nathaniel Bedford forest.
391
00:16:49,007 --> 00:16:52,610
He led forces against lee
in the campaign,
392
00:16:52,644 --> 00:16:56,380
Eventually succeeding
in Gettysburg over general lee.
393
00:16:56,415 --> 00:16:59,016
Uh, do you know anything
about the value of this particular sword?
394
00:16:59,050 --> 00:17:00,050
Man: oh, jeez.
I don't know.
395
00:17:00,085 --> 00:17:01,852
A friend of mine
offered me--
396
00:17:01,886 --> 00:17:03,487
He said, "I'll give
you $20 for it."
397
00:17:03,521 --> 00:17:04,354
Appraiser: $20
for this sword?
398
00:17:04,388 --> 00:17:05,089
Man: I don't know.
399
00:17:05,123 --> 00:17:06,757
Appraiser: I think
the serious...
400
00:17:06,791 --> 00:17:08,659
Who knew?
Shh.
401
00:17:08,693 --> 00:17:13,864
Would pay you for the sword
upwards of 70, $75,000.
402
00:17:13,898 --> 00:17:15,332
All: wow.
403
00:17:15,367 --> 00:17:17,001
Appraiser: it's
in terrific shape...
404
00:17:17,035 --> 00:17:18,001
Williams:
can you believe that?
405
00:17:18,036 --> 00:17:21,271
Who knew?
You never know. You never know.
406
00:17:21,305 --> 00:17:24,041
Look at the smile
on that face, huh?
407
00:17:24,075 --> 00:17:24,674
Hmm.
408
00:17:28,913 --> 00:17:38,956
[Rock music
playing on radio]
409
00:17:38,957 --> 00:17:50,000
[Rock music
playing on radio]
410
00:17:50,034 --> 00:17:51,502
Aah!
411
00:17:51,536 --> 00:17:58,608
Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah.
Ah. Ah! Fuck.
412
00:17:58,643 --> 00:18:02,612
Ah! Uh! Uh. Uh.
413
00:18:05,516 --> 00:18:08,819
Let's roll.
Aah! Gaah! Gaah! Uh!
414
00:18:08,854 --> 00:18:10,220
[Tires screech]
415
00:18:16,994 --> 00:18:22,465
So, listen, you guys,
when do y'all think Reuben is gonna show up?
416
00:18:22,500 --> 00:18:25,669
Does he roll in
right about now?
417
00:18:25,704 --> 00:18:28,171
Woman: Reuben died
a couple of years ago. You didn't know that?
418
00:18:28,205 --> 00:18:29,640
Are you kidding?
419
00:18:29,674 --> 00:18:32,876
I thought you, uh, were
good friends with him.
420
00:18:32,911 --> 00:18:34,111
Don't tell me
you're cops.
421
00:18:34,145 --> 00:18:35,846
Are you cops?
422
00:18:39,450 --> 00:18:40,851
Yeah.
423
00:18:40,886 --> 00:18:43,086
We are.
424
00:18:43,555 --> 00:18:44,554
Stay for the orgy.
425
00:18:44,588 --> 00:18:45,689
Please, don't
worry about it.
426
00:18:45,724 --> 00:18:46,756
Stay for the orgy.
Don't worry about it.
427
00:18:46,791 --> 00:18:48,992
You're already lubricated.
Just stay.
428
00:18:59,771 --> 00:19:03,240
You missed a stop sign
back there, boy.
429
00:19:03,274 --> 00:19:06,543
No, don't do it. Don't you
do it. Don't--Don't even think about it.
430
00:19:06,577 --> 00:19:08,645
Do not even think
about it. Freeze!
431
00:19:08,680 --> 00:19:10,380
[Ice cream truck
music playing]
432
00:19:10,415 --> 00:19:13,317
Freeze!
Sheriff's department!
433
00:19:13,351 --> 00:19:15,852
You stop that
ice cream truck!
434
00:19:15,887 --> 00:19:19,122
Freeze! Freeze!
435
00:19:21,459 --> 00:19:23,761
Sheriff's department!
436
00:19:25,096 --> 00:19:26,297
[Tire blows]
437
00:19:40,144 --> 00:19:41,745
Hey, no cuts.
438
00:19:42,113 --> 00:19:44,582
[Junior breathing heavily]
439
00:19:44,616 --> 00:19:52,589
Can I get, uh, license
and registration and two bomb pops?
440
00:19:55,860 --> 00:19:56,960
Thank you.
441
00:20:02,901 --> 00:20:04,735
Go, go, go, go, go, go!
442
00:20:04,769 --> 00:20:06,036
Ah!
443
00:20:06,070 --> 00:20:07,403
Ah.
Whose keys?
444
00:20:07,438 --> 00:20:10,507
I did it! OK, look.
Whose keys are these?
445
00:20:10,542 --> 00:20:11,207
Whose is it?
446
00:20:11,242 --> 00:20:13,143
Ooh.
447
00:20:13,177 --> 00:20:15,712
Those are my keys.
448
00:20:16,881 --> 00:20:18,982
Seriously?
449
00:20:19,016 --> 00:20:21,351
There you go,
huh? Right?
450
00:20:21,386 --> 00:20:24,922
We...
451
00:20:24,956 --> 00:20:27,824
Yeah. You get to
do it. OK, now.
452
00:20:27,858 --> 00:20:29,326
On the floor now.
On the floor right here.
453
00:20:29,361 --> 00:20:30,293
No, right
on the floor.
454
00:20:30,328 --> 00:20:31,261
Right here.
Down here. Go.
455
00:20:31,296 --> 00:20:33,063
Get my glasses.
Yeah, right on the floor.
456
00:20:33,098 --> 00:20:34,231
Yeah. Drop.
Everybody drop.
457
00:20:34,265 --> 00:20:35,766
Let's go. We're
gonna watch. Let's go.
458
00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:36,634
Yeah, yeah.
Come on.
459
00:20:36,668 --> 00:20:37,601
Where are my--
Where's my heart medica--
460
00:20:37,635 --> 00:20:39,035
Oh, I got it.
I got to get them, too.
461
00:20:39,069 --> 00:20:39,936
Come on.
That's it.
462
00:20:39,971 --> 00:20:40,603
All right, here it is.
463
00:20:40,638 --> 00:20:42,640
There you go.
464
00:20:42,674 --> 00:20:43,807
Jones: all right.
Here we go.
465
00:20:43,841 --> 00:20:45,175
Captioning made possible by
MTV networks
466
00:20:45,209 --> 00:20:46,643
Captioned by the national
captioning institute --Www.Ncicap.Org--
467
00:20:49,280 --> 00:20:51,581
Basically we
fucked in front of
468
00:20:51,616 --> 00:20:53,984
A bunch
of white people.
469
00:20:54,018 --> 00:20:57,053
Raineesha:
old white people.
470
00:20:57,088 --> 00:20:57,788
Jones:
I mean, that's the kind of stuff
471
00:20:57,822 --> 00:20:59,690
They used to do
in slavery time.
472
00:20:59,724 --> 00:21:03,493
They'd watch black
people mate.
473
00:21:03,528 --> 00:21:05,496
Raineesha: you had
a flashback?
474
00:21:05,530 --> 00:21:09,132
An ancestral
flashback?
475
00:21:10,935 --> 00:21:12,402
Come on, Kunta.
Spit it out.
476
00:21:12,437 --> 00:21:14,571
Jones:
well, I feel like I should feel,
477
00:21:14,606 --> 00:21:16,573
Like, a lot
worse about it,
478
00:21:16,608 --> 00:21:19,409
But actually I
don't feel that bad.
479
00:21:19,459 --> 00:21:24,009
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