All language subtitles for American Dad s12e03 The Enlightenment of Ragi-Baba.eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,106 --> 00:00:06,839 McManahan Industries. 2 00:00:06,841 --> 00:00:08,607 There's no Tasha here, pal. 3 00:00:08,609 --> 00:00:10,442 Oh! You mean, Tasha Flunchen, 4 00:00:10,444 --> 00:00:13,112 supermodel and international party girl! 5 00:00:13,114 --> 00:00:14,346 This is she. 6 00:00:14,348 --> 00:00:16,015 Berco, best agent in the biz! 7 00:00:16,017 --> 00:00:18,851 Whatcha got for me? Runway work? Victoria's Secret? 8 00:00:18,853 --> 00:00:21,620 Don't lie to me, am I the new face of Grape Nuts? 9 00:00:21,622 --> 00:00:23,489 Actually, Tasha, I called 10 00:00:23,491 --> 00:00:25,824 to wish you a happy 28th birthday. 11 00:00:25,826 --> 00:00:27,626 You are sweet as candy! 12 00:00:27,628 --> 00:00:30,529 And to let you know that we're dropping you. 13 00:00:30,531 --> 00:00:32,331 Eat shit and die, Berco! 14 00:00:32,333 --> 00:00:33,699 I'm sorry, baby. 15 00:00:33,701 --> 00:00:34,967 You're 28. 16 00:00:34,969 --> 00:00:37,002 The camera doesn't love you anymore! 17 00:00:38,706 --> 00:00:41,707 It's your time to shine, Nadia. 18 00:00:58,392 --> 00:00:59,658 No! 19 00:01:14,275 --> 00:01:16,408 That was my lasagna, bro! 20 00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:17,776 I cooked it 21 00:01:17,778 --> 00:01:20,579 for the Langley Falls lasagna competition! 22 00:01:20,581 --> 00:01:21,947 It's really good. 23 00:01:21,949 --> 00:01:24,116 You probably would've won. 24 00:01:26,720 --> 00:01:29,388 Good morning, U.S.A. 25 00:01:29,390 --> 00:01:33,225 I got a feelin' that it's gonna be a wonderful day 26 00:01:33,227 --> 00:01:36,361 The sun in the sky has a smile on his face 27 00:01:36,363 --> 00:01:40,699 And he's shinin' a salute to the American race 28 00:01:42,470 --> 00:01:46,038 Oh, boy, it's swell to say 29 00:01:46,040 --> 00:01:48,240 Good... Good morning, U.S.A. 30 00:01:48,242 --> 00:01:49,541 Aah! 31 00:01:50,911 --> 00:01:54,146 Good morning, U.S.A. 32 00:02:02,490 --> 00:02:05,891 I'm so sad, leave me alone! 33 00:02:05,893 --> 00:02:07,759 Roger, I'm trying to meditate! 34 00:02:07,761 --> 00:02:09,228 Are you crying? 35 00:02:09,230 --> 00:02:10,496 No. 36 00:02:10,498 --> 00:02:11,930 Why, d-do you think you heard something? 37 00:02:11,932 --> 00:02:13,432 What happened in here? 38 00:02:13,434 --> 00:02:15,634 My modeling career is over! 39 00:02:15,636 --> 00:02:18,303 The camera doesn't love me anymore. 40 00:02:18,305 --> 00:02:20,906 No one loves me anymore. 41 00:02:20,908 --> 00:02:24,276 So you only feel good about yourself if strangers love you? 42 00:02:24,278 --> 00:02:25,777 You know it! 43 00:02:25,779 --> 00:02:27,746 Ever since Tasha was discovered at the age of 14 44 00:02:27,748 --> 00:02:29,181 in the mall food court, 45 00:02:29,183 --> 00:02:31,850 innocently going to town on that big ol' corn dog. 46 00:02:31,852 --> 00:02:34,987 Listen, I've been going to this meditation center for a while, 47 00:02:34,989 --> 00:02:37,422 and, well, uh, it's given me so much clarity. 48 00:02:37,424 --> 00:02:39,024 I'm sure you've heard people 49 00:02:39,026 --> 00:02:40,792 talking about it around the house. 50 00:02:40,794 --> 00:02:43,028 Yeah, I think I heard Klaus mention something. 51 00:02:43,030 --> 00:02:45,764 Why don't you come down to the meditation center with me? 52 00:02:45,766 --> 00:02:48,433 I think it could really help you learn to love yourself. 53 00:02:48,435 --> 00:02:49,868 I love myself all the time! 54 00:02:49,870 --> 00:02:51,203 At least once in the morning 55 00:02:51,205 --> 00:02:52,771 and usually right before I go to sleep. 56 00:02:52,773 --> 00:02:54,640 Well, sounds like your afternoon's wide open. 57 00:02:54,642 --> 00:02:57,242 Yeah, we can go right after I jerk off! 58 00:02:59,780 --> 00:03:01,446 Should... 59 00:03:01,448 --> 00:03:03,849 should we turn on the TV? 60 00:03:03,851 --> 00:03:05,617 I hope you guys are hungry, 61 00:03:05,619 --> 00:03:07,819 because I got us dinner reservations! 62 00:03:07,821 --> 00:03:09,354 We're gonna try something new and exciting... 63 00:03:09,356 --> 00:03:10,989 Sushi! 64 00:03:10,991 --> 00:03:13,692 Geez, Francine, we just tried stromboli two years ago. 65 00:03:13,694 --> 00:03:15,661 Can you let us catch our damn breath? 66 00:03:15,663 --> 00:03:17,329 Oh, please, Stan. 67 00:03:17,331 --> 00:03:20,199 You know I've been wanting to get more culture in our lives. 68 00:03:20,201 --> 00:03:21,967 Culture? 69 00:03:21,969 --> 00:03:23,569 I thought you said you wanted more vulture in our lives. 70 00:03:23,571 --> 00:03:25,571 Fine, I'll go, but you're gonna have to figure out 71 00:03:25,573 --> 00:03:26,972 what to do with these gentlemen. 72 00:03:28,242 --> 00:03:30,509 It's all right. 73 00:03:30,511 --> 00:03:32,077 We have tickets to the theater, 74 00:03:32,079 --> 00:03:34,479 and if we don't leave now, we shall miss the curtain. 75 00:03:34,481 --> 00:03:36,815 I'll have Marcus bring up the car. 76 00:03:38,252 --> 00:03:41,086 Marcus is another bird. 77 00:03:47,428 --> 00:03:48,927 I'm so nervous. 78 00:03:48,929 --> 00:03:51,396 What if everyone notices me and calls me names? 79 00:03:51,398 --> 00:03:53,432 What if one of the names is Piss Head? 80 00:03:53,434 --> 00:03:55,834 Roger, this place is about removing anxiety. 81 00:03:55,836 --> 00:03:58,036 They love me, and they're gonna love you. 82 00:03:58,038 --> 00:03:59,204 Okay. 83 00:03:59,206 --> 00:04:01,173 Welcome, everyone. 84 00:04:01,175 --> 00:04:04,543 I hope I'm not being too forceful. 85 00:04:04,545 --> 00:04:05,877 You're fine. 86 00:04:05,879 --> 00:04:08,413 I'm Chad, this is Gina, 87 00:04:08,415 --> 00:04:11,350 and this is a giant crystal. 88 00:04:11,352 --> 00:04:13,919 The three of us will be guiding you today. 89 00:04:13,921 --> 00:04:16,288 Oh, looks like we have some new faces. 90 00:04:16,290 --> 00:04:17,222 Hi. Hi. 91 00:04:17,224 --> 00:04:18,290 Welcome. Welcome. 92 00:04:18,292 --> 00:04:19,224 Hello. Hi. 93 00:04:19,226 --> 00:04:20,125 Hi. Hello. 94 00:04:20,127 --> 00:04:21,693 Welcome. Welcome. 95 00:04:21,695 --> 00:04:23,362 Hi. Hello. 96 00:04:23,364 --> 00:04:25,931 Are you... Are you waiting for me to respond? 97 00:04:25,933 --> 00:04:27,199 Hi. Hello. 98 00:04:27,201 --> 00:04:28,734 Mm. 99 00:04:28,736 --> 00:04:30,235 Welcome. 100 00:04:30,237 --> 00:04:33,405 Now, let's all close our eyes and breathe in deeply. 101 00:04:33,407 --> 00:04:34,940 Then breathe out, 102 00:04:34,942 --> 00:04:38,377 letting the air and all your worries evacuate. 103 00:04:45,219 --> 00:04:49,888 Remember, each and every one of you is perfect. 104 00:04:51,258 --> 00:04:53,892 Except for Dave. Where's Dave? 105 00:04:55,329 --> 00:04:59,331 Your credit card was declined, so you have to go. 106 00:04:59,333 --> 00:05:01,466 What a dick. 107 00:05:03,404 --> 00:05:05,170 Irasshaimase! Irasshaimase! 108 00:05:05,172 --> 00:05:07,239 Whoa! What was that?! They're just greeting us. 109 00:05:07,241 --> 00:05:08,473 Oh. 110 00:05:08,475 --> 00:05:09,741 Wassup! 111 00:05:09,743 --> 00:05:12,210 Wassup! Wassup! 112 00:05:15,282 --> 00:05:16,748 No menus. If I wanted to read, 113 00:05:16,750 --> 00:05:18,417 I'd eat at the library, but I can't. 114 00:05:18,419 --> 00:05:19,985 I got banned for getting mustard 115 00:05:19,987 --> 00:05:21,820 on the "Guinness Book of World Records". 116 00:05:21,822 --> 00:05:25,424 Why don't I start you with a California roll and some forks? 117 00:05:25,426 --> 00:05:27,426 This place is Japanese, right? 118 00:05:27,428 --> 00:05:30,696 Maybe one of these dudes can fix my old Walkman. 119 00:05:32,032 --> 00:05:34,266 The California roll. 120 00:05:35,436 --> 00:05:37,035 It looks weird. 121 00:05:39,006 --> 00:05:41,440 This is amazing! 122 00:05:41,442 --> 00:05:44,376 My stomach is jealous of my mouth for getting it first! 123 00:05:44,378 --> 00:05:46,244 We must understand it! 124 00:05:47,181 --> 00:05:50,382 Seaweed... cucumber... 125 00:05:50,384 --> 00:05:52,384 Maggots? To bind it together? 126 00:05:52,386 --> 00:05:54,453 That's rice. Of course! Rice! 127 00:05:54,455 --> 00:05:55,821 The rich man's maggots! 128 00:05:55,823 --> 00:05:57,122 Gar?on! 129 00:05:57,124 --> 00:05:58,523 Who is responsible for this sushi? 130 00:05:58,525 --> 00:05:59,991 We must tell him that, 131 00:05:59,993 --> 00:06:02,461 like seeing cherry blossoms on a still lake, 132 00:06:02,463 --> 00:06:05,130 his food is greater than the sum of its parts. 133 00:06:05,132 --> 00:06:07,232 Or like the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers 134 00:06:07,234 --> 00:06:09,368 once they've morphed into the Megazord. 135 00:06:09,370 --> 00:06:11,169 I must learn the chef's secrets. 136 00:06:11,171 --> 00:06:12,871 Unfortunately, Chef Haruki 137 00:06:12,873 --> 00:06:15,340 will tell no one the secrets of his trade. 138 00:06:15,342 --> 00:06:17,876 Not even his own son. Nonsense, Hisashi! 139 00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:20,912 Anyone who compares my sushi to the Megazord 140 00:06:20,914 --> 00:06:23,215 obviously has the finest taste 141 00:06:23,217 --> 00:06:26,351 and has earned the right to know my secrets. 142 00:06:26,353 --> 00:06:28,420 What?! Come back tomorrow, 143 00:06:28,422 --> 00:06:31,857 and I will teach you all there is to know about sushi. 144 00:06:31,859 --> 00:06:34,059 No way I'm going to sleep tonight... too pumped. 145 00:06:34,061 --> 00:06:36,228 Mind if I just wait around outside 'til you're open? 146 00:06:36,230 --> 00:06:37,729 Never mind, you don't own the sidewalk. 147 00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:39,064 I don't need your permission. 148 00:06:39,066 --> 00:06:42,067 You're not the boss of me... Until tomorrow! 149 00:06:44,571 --> 00:06:47,506 Hayley, I am pumped to do some introspection today. 150 00:06:47,508 --> 00:06:50,275 I'm so glad you love this place as much as I do, Roger. 151 00:06:50,277 --> 00:06:52,911 Hey, Molly! Okay. Hi, Ragi! 152 00:06:52,913 --> 00:06:54,746 So good to see you! 153 00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:58,350 It fills me with such light to see you, Molly. 154 00:06:59,286 --> 00:07:02,187 Roger, have you been coming here without me? 155 00:07:02,189 --> 00:07:03,688 Hmm, have I? 156 00:07:03,690 --> 00:07:05,590 Welcome back, everyone. Namaste. 157 00:07:05,592 --> 00:07:08,126 Namaste, Ragi-Baba. Namaste, Ragi-Baba. Namaste, Ragi-Baba. 158 00:07:08,128 --> 00:07:09,861 Oh, looks like we have a new face. 159 00:07:09,863 --> 00:07:11,096 What's your name? 160 00:07:11,098 --> 00:07:14,099 Me? Ah, hell no! 161 00:07:15,369 --> 00:07:17,636 He's taking over the whole place! 162 00:07:17,638 --> 00:07:20,305 Oh, good, at least I can take this class 163 00:07:20,307 --> 00:07:21,640 taught by Dalton Galloway. 164 00:07:21,642 --> 00:07:23,608 Oh, Hayley, does Dalton Galloway 165 00:07:23,610 --> 00:07:25,477 sound like a real person to you? 166 00:07:25,479 --> 00:07:27,012 Grow up. It's me. 167 00:07:33,253 --> 00:07:36,555 Why is Ragi-Baba teaching all the classes?! 168 00:07:36,557 --> 00:07:39,491 Well, it's his meditation center now. 169 00:07:39,493 --> 00:07:41,927 Wait, you sold him the center? 170 00:07:41,929 --> 00:07:44,830 No, we didn't sell it to him. 171 00:07:44,832 --> 00:07:46,498 He took it from us. 172 00:07:46,500 --> 00:07:48,333 Hayley, you must understand 173 00:07:48,335 --> 00:07:51,269 it's very easy to take over a meditation center. 174 00:07:51,271 --> 00:07:53,071 We're very passive people. 175 00:07:53,073 --> 00:07:56,408 You should have seen the pussies we pushed out of here. 176 00:07:56,410 --> 00:07:59,511 People always ask me, what is the secret to enlightenment? 177 00:07:59,513 --> 00:08:01,246 And I always tell them, 178 00:08:01,248 --> 00:08:04,516 "You must give yourself permission to be enlightened." 179 00:08:04,518 --> 00:08:06,785 That is so wise. 180 00:08:06,787 --> 00:08:08,653 Thanks, tits. 181 00:08:09,690 --> 00:08:11,523 You need to stop this right now! 182 00:08:11,525 --> 00:08:13,792 You're the one who said I should meditate. 183 00:08:13,794 --> 00:08:17,028 Yeah, meditate, not take over the entire meditation center 184 00:08:17,030 --> 00:08:18,763 and make it all about you! 185 00:08:18,765 --> 00:08:20,532 I see what's up. You're frustrated 186 00:08:20,534 --> 00:08:22,667 because I mastered meditation in one week 187 00:08:22,669 --> 00:08:24,436 and you're still super bad at it. 188 00:08:24,438 --> 00:08:25,804 No. 189 00:08:25,806 --> 00:08:27,506 I'm mad because this place is a sanctuary for me, 190 00:08:27,508 --> 00:08:29,274 and you're going to ruin it! 191 00:08:29,276 --> 00:08:31,543 Sanctuary! Sanctuary! 192 00:08:31,545 --> 00:08:33,178 What is that? 193 00:08:33,180 --> 00:08:35,180 Is that from a movie? Is that from history? 194 00:08:35,182 --> 00:08:36,681 I don't know, it-it's something. 195 00:08:36,683 --> 00:08:37,949 Anyway, relax, Hayley. 196 00:08:37,951 --> 00:08:39,351 This place ain't changing a bit. 197 00:08:39,353 --> 00:08:41,553 Oh, look, the statue's here! 198 00:08:41,555 --> 00:08:44,422 Perfect! Light it up! 199 00:08:48,328 --> 00:08:50,629 Welcome to training. 200 00:08:50,631 --> 00:08:52,831 I see you have brought your own uniforms. 201 00:08:52,833 --> 00:08:54,499 We didn't want to show up looking like 202 00:08:54,501 --> 00:08:56,368 a bunch of assholes, so I hopped on Amazon. 203 00:08:56,370 --> 00:08:58,403 Mine's supposed to be for an American Girl doll, 204 00:08:58,405 --> 00:09:00,338 but you don't have to tell them why you're buying it. 205 00:09:00,340 --> 00:09:01,973 Okay. 206 00:09:01,975 --> 00:09:06,011 Now, the first thing we do is wash the day's rice. 207 00:09:06,013 --> 00:09:07,746 On it! Oh, yeah! 208 00:09:13,020 --> 00:09:14,753 Oh, no! 209 00:09:14,755 --> 00:09:16,421 W-What is it, Haruki? 210 00:09:16,423 --> 00:09:18,223 Have we dishonored you? 211 00:09:18,225 --> 00:09:19,558 No. 212 00:09:19,560 --> 00:09:21,860 You have dishonored the rice. 213 00:09:21,862 --> 00:09:25,430 The rice is the most important ingredient in sushi. 214 00:09:25,432 --> 00:09:28,066 If even a single grain is mistreated, 215 00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:30,502 the meal will be ruined. 216 00:09:32,873 --> 00:09:34,839 Are you...? Massaging the rice? 217 00:09:34,841 --> 00:09:36,107 Hai. 218 00:09:36,109 --> 00:09:37,442 That must make it feel so special. 219 00:09:37,444 --> 00:09:39,544 It does, but to be safe, 220 00:09:39,546 --> 00:09:42,681 you must then tell it that it is special. 221 00:09:42,683 --> 00:09:45,684 You are a beautiful grain of rice. 222 00:09:45,686 --> 00:09:48,853 I would very much like to marry you. 223 00:09:54,261 --> 00:09:58,763 This will be the perfect place to learn my father's secrets. 224 00:10:01,268 --> 00:10:02,734 Ba-zinga. Ba-zinga. 225 00:10:02,736 --> 00:10:05,270 Whenever the cucumber shipment is late, 226 00:10:05,272 --> 00:10:08,239 I like to look at a picture of my son's mother. 227 00:10:08,241 --> 00:10:10,141 She was the love of my life... 228 00:10:10,143 --> 00:10:12,978 And an amazing prostitute. 229 00:10:14,481 --> 00:10:16,815 Our next guest today on "Mimosa" 230 00:10:16,817 --> 00:10:19,317 is Langley's leading spiritual guru, 231 00:10:19,319 --> 00:10:21,319 a best-selling author... 232 00:10:21,321 --> 00:10:25,490 and the on-set meditation coach for the cast of "Nashville." 233 00:10:25,492 --> 00:10:28,326 Please welcome Ragi-Baba! 234 00:10:39,106 --> 00:10:40,639 Trish, Sues, thanks for having me. 235 00:10:40,641 --> 00:10:41,940 Now, before we begin, 236 00:10:41,942 --> 00:10:43,475 I just want to set the record straight. 237 00:10:43,477 --> 00:10:44,743 I'm no guru. 238 00:10:44,745 --> 00:10:46,311 Call me whatever's above that. 239 00:10:48,682 --> 00:10:50,649 Sanctuary! 240 00:10:52,185 --> 00:10:54,419 Th-That's something, right? W-What is that? 241 00:10:54,421 --> 00:10:56,121 Uh-oh! 242 00:10:56,123 --> 00:10:58,323 It looks like we've got a 'bush! 243 00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:03,528 Ah, snap, this is a talk-show ambush! 244 00:11:03,530 --> 00:11:04,963 That's right! 245 00:11:04,965 --> 00:11:07,766 We have someone who claims they have dirt on you! 246 00:11:07,768 --> 00:11:10,435 Please welcome Hayley Smith! 247 00:11:12,172 --> 00:11:13,805 Thanks Trish or Sues. 248 00:11:13,807 --> 00:11:15,807 I'll get right to the dirt. 249 00:11:15,809 --> 00:11:18,476 Ragi-Baba claims to be a selfless meditation guru, 250 00:11:18,478 --> 00:11:20,011 but look... 251 00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:22,714 He's actually only doing it for the attention, 252 00:11:22,716 --> 00:11:26,851 not unlike a certain vapid supermodel I know. 253 00:11:26,853 --> 00:11:29,821 What does Ragi-Baba have to do 254 00:11:29,823 --> 00:11:33,558 with pear-shaped beauty Tasha Flunchen?! 255 00:11:33,560 --> 00:11:36,461 Yeah, Hayley, those two people couldn't be more different! 256 00:11:36,463 --> 00:11:39,197 Except they're both beautiful and went to Bowling Green. 257 00:11:39,199 --> 00:11:40,632 Look at the photos, Ragi! 258 00:11:40,634 --> 00:11:42,000 Admit it. 259 00:11:42,002 --> 00:11:43,401 You're just in it for the fame. 260 00:11:43,403 --> 00:11:44,969 Oh, my God... 261 00:11:44,971 --> 00:11:46,504 you're right. 262 00:11:46,506 --> 00:11:49,574 In trying to find myself... 263 00:11:49,576 --> 00:11:51,209 Can I get a light change? 264 00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:53,545 In trying to find myself... 265 00:11:53,547 --> 00:11:54,746 little music would be nice. 266 00:11:56,016 --> 00:11:57,882 In trying to find myself, 267 00:11:57,884 --> 00:12:00,585 I put all my stock in how others view me, 268 00:12:00,587 --> 00:12:04,389 no different than proud Bowling Green Falcon Tasha Flunchen. 269 00:12:04,391 --> 00:12:06,558 That is why I, Ragi-Baba, 270 00:12:06,560 --> 00:12:09,194 am gonna do the only thing there is to do. 271 00:12:09,196 --> 00:12:12,030 I'm going to go into the mountains to be alone 272 00:12:12,032 --> 00:12:14,532 and finally find validation from within. 273 00:12:16,870 --> 00:12:18,403 Well, that was fun. 274 00:12:18,405 --> 00:12:20,905 Now let's check back in with Curtis, 275 00:12:20,907 --> 00:12:24,242 our smoothie expert, and see how it's coming along! 276 00:12:25,612 --> 00:12:27,245 I should probably watch this. 277 00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:29,247 I like to throw a banana in there... 278 00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:32,217 Really gives it that banana taste! 279 00:12:35,255 --> 00:12:36,955 Remember to be patient. 280 00:12:36,957 --> 00:12:39,023 The right fish will find us. 281 00:12:39,025 --> 00:12:40,358 There! 282 00:12:40,360 --> 00:12:42,460 Whoa! That's a beauty! 283 00:12:44,264 --> 00:12:46,197 No! Haruki, please! Don't cry! 284 00:12:46,199 --> 00:12:48,032 What is wrong with the fish? 285 00:12:48,034 --> 00:12:51,302 To my eye, it is the freshest in the market. 286 00:12:51,304 --> 00:12:55,440 Let the chefs who do not have our skill use the best fish. 287 00:12:55,442 --> 00:12:59,077 The secret to great sushi is bad fish. 288 00:12:59,079 --> 00:13:03,381 Only then can the chef truly have influence on it. 289 00:13:03,383 --> 00:13:04,883 Oh, duh. 290 00:13:04,885 --> 00:13:06,618 There! A rotting trout! 291 00:13:08,288 --> 00:13:10,388 Shall we buy it, Master Haruki? 292 00:13:10,390 --> 00:13:11,923 Wait, why?! 293 00:13:11,925 --> 00:13:14,292 I've always wanted to know why you buy rotten fish! 294 00:13:14,294 --> 00:13:17,095 Oh, did, uh, you guys hear something? 295 00:13:17,097 --> 00:13:19,097 Uh, is the wind talking? 296 00:13:19,099 --> 00:13:21,499 He hates when I do this. 297 00:13:23,403 --> 00:13:24,936 Hayley, do you really think 298 00:13:24,938 --> 00:13:26,471 you're going to be able to find Roger up here? 299 00:13:26,473 --> 00:13:28,406 I have to try. I-I feel so guilty. 300 00:13:28,408 --> 00:13:30,141 It's my fault he came up here, 301 00:13:30,143 --> 00:13:32,410 and I-I just want to make sure he's okay. 302 00:13:32,412 --> 00:13:33,945 Huh. 303 00:13:33,947 --> 00:13:35,947 I wonder if any of those people know where he is. 304 00:13:40,353 --> 00:13:41,686 Hayley! Thank God. 305 00:13:41,688 --> 00:13:43,021 You got to get me out of here! 306 00:13:43,023 --> 00:13:45,156 Roger, what is this place? 307 00:13:45,158 --> 00:13:46,591 This place? 308 00:13:46,593 --> 00:13:48,459 It's a self-sustaining collective utopia 309 00:13:48,461 --> 00:13:49,961 that was built in my honor. 310 00:13:49,963 --> 00:13:51,296 It's horrible. 311 00:13:51,298 --> 00:13:53,031 Come on, I'll show you around. 312 00:13:54,768 --> 00:13:58,303 I think there's a meditation room somewhere over there. 313 00:13:58,305 --> 00:13:59,871 Organic farm over there. 314 00:13:59,873 --> 00:14:03,107 They built a hydroelectric dam or something over there. 315 00:14:03,109 --> 00:14:04,475 This is amazing. 316 00:14:04,477 --> 00:14:06,845 Look at all these people living in harmony! 317 00:14:06,847 --> 00:14:08,513 There he is! Ragi-Baba! 318 00:14:08,515 --> 00:14:11,115 I shut the hell up, just like you instructed. 319 00:14:11,117 --> 00:14:14,719 And when I did, I was finally able to listen to my son! 320 00:14:14,721 --> 00:14:16,287 We're talking again! 321 00:14:16,289 --> 00:14:19,324 Ragi-Baba, I left you alone for five goddamn minutes, 322 00:14:19,326 --> 00:14:20,692 just like you asked! 323 00:14:20,694 --> 00:14:22,627 Now may I have your holy touch? 324 00:14:22,629 --> 00:14:23,962 Touch me! Touch me! 325 00:14:23,964 --> 00:14:25,630 I'm not touching anybody! 326 00:14:27,167 --> 00:14:28,700 Now leave me alone! 327 00:14:32,472 --> 00:14:33,872 Roger, this is incredible! 328 00:14:33,874 --> 00:14:35,707 You're actually helping these people! 329 00:14:35,709 --> 00:14:37,242 Who cares if I'm helping them? 330 00:14:37,244 --> 00:14:39,244 The whole point of this was to help me! 331 00:14:39,746 --> 00:14:41,913 Oh, God. Is that... 332 00:14:41,915 --> 00:14:43,982 Poison punch? Yes, it's poison punch. 333 00:14:43,984 --> 00:14:45,683 You can't kill your followers! 334 00:14:45,685 --> 00:14:48,219 Jeff, can you hand me my shaman stick, please? 335 00:14:51,358 --> 00:14:55,627 Ragi-Baba, thank you for stick-blessing my wife. 336 00:15:02,736 --> 00:15:04,702 Jeff, you've got to untie me! 337 00:15:04,704 --> 00:15:07,171 Whoa, Jeff, buddy, you're on punch duty. 338 00:15:07,173 --> 00:15:09,207 Sorry, babe, my hands are tied. 339 00:15:09,209 --> 00:15:11,776 Ha! Your hands are tied! 340 00:15:11,778 --> 00:15:13,711 We're perfect for each other! 341 00:15:15,048 --> 00:15:17,115 Roger, you don't have to kill your followers! 342 00:15:17,117 --> 00:15:18,950 Have you meditated on this? 343 00:15:18,952 --> 00:15:21,286 Meditation? Isn't that phoney-baloney? 344 00:15:21,288 --> 00:15:22,587 Phoney-baloney?! 345 00:15:22,589 --> 00:15:24,222 Roger, you're one of the country's 346 00:15:24,224 --> 00:15:26,024 leading experts on meditation! 347 00:15:26,026 --> 00:15:27,358 I was faking! 348 00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:28,893 I would just close my eyes 349 00:15:28,895 --> 00:15:31,195 and try to remember all the "Road Rules" cast members. 350 00:15:31,197 --> 00:15:32,964 You got Ibis, you got Theo... 351 00:15:32,966 --> 00:15:34,465 Roger! 352 00:15:34,467 --> 00:15:36,234 Now is the time to try meditation for real. 353 00:15:36,236 --> 00:15:37,869 I promise it will help. 354 00:15:37,871 --> 00:15:39,938 Okay, but no funny business. 355 00:15:39,940 --> 00:15:42,307 A lot of lives are at stake here. 356 00:16:03,263 --> 00:16:05,229 He hates it. 357 00:16:06,633 --> 00:16:08,433 You... 358 00:16:08,435 --> 00:16:11,135 have mastered the art of sushi. 359 00:16:11,137 --> 00:16:12,437 Oh, thank God! 360 00:16:12,439 --> 00:16:15,139 As a token of your achievement, 361 00:16:15,141 --> 00:16:16,441 I grant you... 362 00:16:16,443 --> 00:16:19,010 ownership of this restaurant. 363 00:16:19,012 --> 00:16:20,311 What?! 364 00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:22,513 But I hoped one day, it would be mine. 365 00:16:22,515 --> 00:16:24,015 I am sorry, Hisashi. 366 00:16:24,017 --> 00:16:26,417 I would give you the restaurant if I could, 367 00:16:26,419 --> 00:16:27,852 but you must understand 368 00:16:27,854 --> 00:16:30,922 I have already given it to Stan and Steve. 369 00:16:32,292 --> 00:16:33,858 What will you do now, Haruki? 370 00:16:33,860 --> 00:16:35,193 I bought an RV! 371 00:16:35,195 --> 00:16:37,962 I'm finally taking this piece of rice 372 00:16:37,964 --> 00:16:40,298 on the honeymoon it deserves. 373 00:16:40,300 --> 00:16:41,866 Okay, bye-bye! 374 00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:49,941 Don't worry, Hisashi. 375 00:16:49,943 --> 00:16:51,976 We're gonna be totally cool bosses. 376 00:16:51,978 --> 00:16:53,511 Like, very cool bosses. 377 00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:55,646 I got to be honest with you, Hisashi, 378 00:16:55,648 --> 00:16:57,749 I don't think this is working out. 379 00:17:01,354 --> 00:17:05,390 Hey, Jeff, make sure every cup gets a pineapple and a cherry... 380 00:17:05,392 --> 00:17:07,358 Oh, and heaps of poison. 381 00:17:09,462 --> 00:17:11,896 All right, Hayley, I'm all yours. 382 00:17:11,898 --> 00:17:14,165 Okay, just relax and breathe. 383 00:17:14,167 --> 00:17:17,402 I don't think this is going to work, but okay. 384 00:17:20,006 --> 00:17:21,672 It's working! 385 00:17:21,674 --> 00:17:23,541 How did you...? 386 00:17:23,543 --> 00:17:25,743 What is happening?! 387 00:17:25,745 --> 00:17:27,545 This must be enlightenment! 388 00:17:27,547 --> 00:17:29,514 It feels so good! 389 00:17:31,084 --> 00:17:34,886 If only there could be 390 00:17:34,888 --> 00:17:41,159 Another way to do this 391 00:17:43,096 --> 00:17:47,265 'Cause it feels like murder 392 00:17:47,267 --> 00:17:54,338 To put your heart through this 393 00:17:55,375 --> 00:17:59,577 I know I always said... 394 00:17:59,579 --> 00:18:02,780 Welcome to Nirvana. 395 00:18:02,782 --> 00:18:04,182 I don't ever want to leave! 396 00:18:04,184 --> 00:18:06,451 C-Can we, like, live here? 397 00:18:06,453 --> 00:18:10,788 You are welcome to stay for all eternity. 398 00:18:10,790 --> 00:18:14,125 But here, there is no living. 399 00:18:14,127 --> 00:18:16,294 There is only being. 400 00:18:16,296 --> 00:18:17,562 Being? What's that? 401 00:18:17,564 --> 00:18:20,098 Being is nothing. 402 00:18:20,100 --> 00:18:22,967 Being is everything. 403 00:18:22,969 --> 00:18:24,368 Okay, everything! 404 00:18:24,370 --> 00:18:26,070 So that means you have Netflix, right? 405 00:18:26,072 --> 00:18:27,705 'Cause I've been watching "Cheers". 406 00:18:27,707 --> 00:18:29,240 Like, from the beginning. 407 00:18:29,242 --> 00:18:31,109 And I got to know if Carla and Coach get together 408 00:18:31,111 --> 00:18:32,977 and do the nastay. 409 00:18:32,979 --> 00:18:35,546 Carla and Coach? That wasn't a storyline. 410 00:18:35,548 --> 00:18:38,249 You had Sam and Diane, then Sam and Rebecca. 411 00:18:38,251 --> 00:18:40,952 And you can't forget Woody. Who's Woody? 412 00:18:40,954 --> 00:18:42,620 Who's Woody?! 413 00:18:42,622 --> 00:18:44,889 Oh, my God, you have so many good episodes ahead of you. 414 00:18:44,891 --> 00:18:47,291 I mean, there's no replacing Coach, but... 415 00:18:47,293 --> 00:18:48,626 You know what? 416 00:18:48,628 --> 00:18:50,761 I got to go back and watch some "Cheers". 417 00:18:50,763 --> 00:18:52,597 Lawrence, come on, don't go! 418 00:18:52,599 --> 00:18:53,965 Lawrence! Ugh! 419 00:18:53,967 --> 00:18:55,933 Great! We lost Lawrence. 420 00:18:55,935 --> 00:18:58,970 Look, this is so much better than Earth. 421 00:18:58,972 --> 00:19:01,572 No beginning, no end. 422 00:19:01,574 --> 00:19:03,941 No birth, no death. 423 00:19:03,943 --> 00:19:05,176 No birth? 424 00:19:05,178 --> 00:19:06,511 But you do have birthdays, right? 425 00:19:06,513 --> 00:19:08,346 I got to have my birthday week. 426 00:19:08,348 --> 00:19:10,081 10 days! Starts on a Friday. 427 00:19:10,083 --> 00:19:12,583 One full weekend, then four birthday weekdays, 428 00:19:12,585 --> 00:19:14,652 then we pound out one more weekend. 429 00:19:14,654 --> 00:19:16,020 Four brunches, bitch! 430 00:19:16,022 --> 00:19:18,022 Ugh, I miss brunch. 431 00:19:18,024 --> 00:19:21,659 You know Blow Bird loves his Bloody Mary spicy. 432 00:19:21,661 --> 00:19:23,494 Alan?! You, too?! 433 00:19:23,496 --> 00:19:25,029 Okay. 434 00:19:25,031 --> 00:19:28,466 You must stop encouraging other spirits to leave. 435 00:19:28,468 --> 00:19:30,668 And there is no brunch here! 436 00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:34,205 No Netflix, no brunch, and no birthdays. 437 00:19:34,207 --> 00:19:36,307 Okay, this place is bumming me out. 438 00:19:36,309 --> 00:19:38,342 Time to go, Hayley. What?! No! 439 00:19:38,344 --> 00:19:39,844 I'm staying! You can't. 440 00:19:39,846 --> 00:19:41,345 I'm pretty sure you're my plus one. 441 00:19:41,347 --> 00:19:42,647 She's just my plus one, right? 442 00:19:42,649 --> 00:19:44,382 Yeah. All right, we outtie! 443 00:19:44,384 --> 00:19:45,850 Wait! 444 00:19:45,852 --> 00:19:49,487 Aw, man, now I'm stuck here with just Nathan. 445 00:19:49,489 --> 00:19:52,123 Y-You know, I just don't think 446 00:19:52,125 --> 00:19:56,127 I could go another minute without a soft pretzel. 447 00:19:59,966 --> 00:20:02,066 Sure, I could've stayed in nirvana. 448 00:20:02,068 --> 00:20:03,834 I was definitely a natural, 449 00:20:03,836 --> 00:20:06,370 but I would've had to give up all my stuff. 450 00:20:06,372 --> 00:20:08,873 Yeah, I think that's the lesson I learned... 451 00:20:08,875 --> 00:20:11,309 The most important thing in life is stuff. 452 00:20:11,311 --> 00:20:13,377 Thank you for teaching me that, Hayley. 453 00:20:13,379 --> 00:20:14,912 Next time I see you crying, 454 00:20:14,914 --> 00:20:16,247 remind me not to care. 455 00:20:16,249 --> 00:20:18,082 I wasn't crying, you were crying. 456 00:20:18,084 --> 00:20:19,750 Oh, no, what's wrong, babe? 457 00:20:20,753 --> 00:20:22,353 "Hunchback of Notre Dame"! 458 00:20:22,355 --> 00:20:25,022 That's what the "sanctuary" thing was from! 459 00:20:29,529 --> 00:20:32,663 Domo arigato! Domo arigato! 460 00:20:41,941 --> 00:20:43,341 Papa... 461 00:20:43,343 --> 00:20:45,176 is this contentment? 462 00:20:45,178 --> 00:20:46,444 Yes, son. 463 00:20:46,446 --> 00:20:49,614 A job well-done supplies contentment. 464 00:20:49,616 --> 00:20:52,049 Stan?! Steve?! 465 00:20:52,051 --> 00:20:53,818 Are you up there?! 466 00:20:55,121 --> 00:20:57,622 I stepped away to get my Walkman fixed, 467 00:20:57,624 --> 00:20:59,924 and you guys disappear for weeks?! 468 00:20:59,926 --> 00:21:02,126 What the dudes?! 469 00:21:02,128 --> 00:21:04,128 Bye! Have a great time! 470 00:21:04,178 --> 00:21:08,728 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 33427

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