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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:18,704 - [people chattering] - ["Pistol Packin' Mama" playing] 2 00:01:19,580 --> 00:01:24,960 [Maxine] In Palm Beach, everyone has money, but not everyone is truly rich. 3 00:01:24,960 --> 00:01:28,672 Nigel, go upstairs and find out what's taking everyone so long. 4 00:01:28,672 --> 00:01:29,756 Oh, yes, ma'am. 5 00:01:32,509 --> 00:01:35,512 - Ah, hello. - Hmm. 6 00:01:38,307 --> 00:01:40,851 [Maxine] I was learning quickly that, in Palm Beach, 7 00:01:40,851 --> 00:01:43,729 an untold secret is like a loaded gun. 8 00:01:46,190 --> 00:01:48,442 You never know when it will go off. 9 00:01:48,442 --> 00:01:49,693 - [gunshot] - [gasps] 10 00:01:49,693 --> 00:01:51,778 - [people gasp] - [people screaming] 11 00:01:51,778 --> 00:01:54,114 [Maxine] Or who it might hit. 12 00:01:56,158 --> 00:02:00,662 And, full disclosure, I suppose I had one or two little secrets of my own. 13 00:02:01,997 --> 00:02:06,960 For the sake of my marriage and my sanity, I had to tell the truth. 14 00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:10,047 - It's a beautiful day, isn't it? - Oh, that it is. 15 00:02:10,547 --> 00:02:12,174 [sighs] Thank you. 16 00:02:12,883 --> 00:02:15,761 - Um, Douglas... [exhales sharply] - Mmm? 17 00:02:16,261 --> 00:02:19,598 ...uh, there's something... Well, a few things I need to tell you. 18 00:02:19,598 --> 00:02:21,183 Well, you can tell me anything. 19 00:02:22,809 --> 00:02:23,810 [exhales sharply] 20 00:02:25,354 --> 00:02:26,355 [breathes shakily] 21 00:02:28,857 --> 00:02:30,609 I may have passed some bad checks. 22 00:02:30,609 --> 00:02:33,779 The Fibs still haven't received your $75,000 check. 23 00:02:35,489 --> 00:02:37,074 Plus a $10,000 check. 24 00:02:37,074 --> 00:02:39,660 If you plan on coming to my Havana Nights Gala next week. 25 00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:42,037 And maybe pawned some of Norma's jewelry, 26 00:02:42,037 --> 00:02:45,332 which in some circles might be misconstrued as stealing. 27 00:02:46,250 --> 00:02:47,209 [cash register dings] 28 00:02:47,209 --> 00:02:49,962 And I might have run up a little mountain of debt. 29 00:02:49,962 --> 00:02:52,256 - And how will you be paying? - You take a check? 30 00:02:53,507 --> 00:02:56,093 Not including the 75 grand I was bullied into paying 31 00:02:56,093 --> 00:02:58,846 for a stone cat that we already own. 32 00:02:58,846 --> 00:03:00,931 $75,000! 33 00:03:00,931 --> 00:03:02,432 - [shatters] - Oh. [gasps] 34 00:03:06,937 --> 00:03:08,397 Ah, that's not so bad. 35 00:03:08,397 --> 00:03:10,732 Douglas, did you hear what I said about the jewelry? 36 00:03:10,732 --> 00:03:14,194 Diamonds are temporary. Our love is forever. 37 00:03:16,530 --> 00:03:19,241 Unlike our inheritance, which is never! 38 00:03:19,867 --> 00:03:20,701 Hmm? 39 00:03:22,494 --> 00:03:24,162 - Cocktails! - [Douglas] Hey, babe. 40 00:03:25,080 --> 00:03:27,499 [Maxine] The great unburdening would have to wait. [sighs] 41 00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:30,377 Why let the truth spoil a sunny day? 42 00:03:31,003 --> 00:03:34,214 I couldn't bear to tell him that his inheritance had been rerouted 43 00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:36,008 to a cat sanctuary. 44 00:03:38,093 --> 00:03:40,554 - [Maxine] It'd break his heart. - [sighs] 45 00:03:40,554 --> 00:03:44,266 - [drawer opens] - [rummaging] 46 00:03:44,266 --> 00:03:47,102 [sighs] Where's the key? 47 00:03:47,603 --> 00:03:50,772 Damn it! [grunts, groans] 48 00:03:50,772 --> 00:03:54,568 Norma, everything is going to hell without you! 49 00:03:55,819 --> 00:04:01,408 I'm trying to save you, me. Hell, the whole world. 50 00:04:02,409 --> 00:04:04,912 [machine beeping] 51 00:04:06,788 --> 00:04:09,499 Norma? Are you in there? 52 00:04:12,711 --> 00:04:13,754 Can you hear me? 53 00:04:14,630 --> 00:04:17,716 Blink once for yes. Two for no. 54 00:04:20,010 --> 00:04:23,764 [exclaims, laughs] I knew it! You still got it! 55 00:04:23,764 --> 00:04:26,517 Oh, God. I've missed you, my dear friend. 56 00:04:27,017 --> 00:04:31,355 [sighs] And I'm sure you've missed me. 57 00:04:34,900 --> 00:04:36,902 W-Well, that hurt, 'cause... [stammers, sighs] 58 00:04:37,819 --> 00:04:40,864 All right, Norma, listen. I want you to listen very carefully. 59 00:04:41,698 --> 00:04:44,618 Is the Rolodex in this room? 60 00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:51,083 One, two. Okay, I knew it. I knew it. It's in the safety deposit box. 61 00:04:51,083 --> 00:04:53,877 All right, so is the key in this room? 62 00:04:55,420 --> 00:04:56,421 [gasps] 63 00:04:56,421 --> 00:05:01,218 Two. Thr... Wait a minute. Uh, that's three blinks. Unless that's a maybe. 64 00:05:01,885 --> 00:05:05,389 Is three blinks a maybe? Is three... [stammers] 65 00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:08,600 Norma, stop fucking with me! This is serious! 66 00:05:09,893 --> 00:05:10,936 Are you sitting on it? 67 00:05:12,271 --> 00:05:15,107 Sorry, Norma. [breathing shakily] 68 00:05:18,277 --> 00:05:19,736 [metal clanking] 69 00:05:21,488 --> 00:05:22,781 You got a bony ass, Norma. 70 00:05:23,365 --> 00:05:25,951 I know it's in here somewhere, Norma. [breathes shakily] 71 00:05:25,951 --> 00:05:27,286 [grunting] 72 00:05:27,286 --> 00:05:30,038 [strains] I'm gonna shake it out of you! [grunts] 73 00:05:31,915 --> 00:05:34,251 ["Everything Happens To Me" playing] 74 00:05:35,169 --> 00:05:41,175 [breathing deeply] Yes, Your Honor. No, Your Honor. 75 00:05:42,926 --> 00:05:43,927 [sighs] 76 00:05:55,856 --> 00:05:56,857 [sighs] 77 00:06:05,115 --> 00:06:06,533 - Hey! - Hey, pool boy, 78 00:06:06,533 --> 00:06:08,869 I'll take a little bit more mai in my tai. 79 00:06:08,869 --> 00:06:10,412 Have you been in the pool house? 80 00:06:10,412 --> 00:06:13,207 Why would I go into the pool house when I have the real house? 81 00:06:15,709 --> 00:06:17,544 A little hoity-toity for a pool boy. 82 00:06:17,544 --> 00:06:20,923 I'll say. [smacks lips] I'll put some more mai in your tai. 83 00:06:20,923 --> 00:06:22,007 Aw, thanks, babe. 84 00:06:23,091 --> 00:06:25,135 - I love you. - And I love you. 85 00:06:25,636 --> 00:06:29,431 [inhales deeply] You know what? Today is the day. [sighs] 86 00:06:29,932 --> 00:06:32,518 My final flight in the 737. 87 00:06:32,518 --> 00:06:35,062 Miami, Toledo. Toledo, Des Moines. 88 00:06:35,062 --> 00:06:37,147 And then I'm hanging up my wings for good. 89 00:06:37,940 --> 00:06:38,941 Douglas! 90 00:06:40,901 --> 00:06:44,112 - Does that make you happy? - [breathes shakily] S-So happy. 91 00:06:44,112 --> 00:06:47,616 Why would I keep working when I've got all this and you? 92 00:06:50,118 --> 00:06:53,080 [breathes deeply] 93 00:06:59,086 --> 00:07:00,087 [gasps] 94 00:07:05,217 --> 00:07:06,218 [bell rings] 95 00:07:07,386 --> 00:07:09,221 - Linda? - [Linda stammers] 96 00:07:09,221 --> 00:07:11,014 Hi, ladies. Have you seen Linda? 97 00:07:12,474 --> 00:07:13,475 Linda. 98 00:07:14,685 --> 00:07:19,064 Tall. Red hair. Wears too much denim. [chuckles] Turquoise jewelry. 99 00:07:21,650 --> 00:07:22,526 Oh. 100 00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:24,444 Thanks. 101 00:07:25,904 --> 00:07:27,948 Linda, uh, I need you. 102 00:07:27,948 --> 00:07:30,158 - Uh, do you need a book? - Very funny. 103 00:07:30,659 --> 00:07:32,035 I need my new best friend. 104 00:07:32,035 --> 00:07:35,831 Oh. Uh, well, maybe a little early for best friend. 105 00:07:35,831 --> 00:07:40,419 You know, if you need a healer or a therapist, massage therapist, 106 00:07:40,419 --> 00:07:42,754 there are names on the corkboard. You can get a session. 107 00:07:42,754 --> 00:07:46,049 Gee, thanks. Hope they can do a session in prison. 108 00:07:47,092 --> 00:07:50,929 - What? - I am a thief and a liar and a squatter. 109 00:07:50,929 --> 00:07:53,974 [breathes deeply] And I learned last night, courtesy of your stepmother, 110 00:07:53,974 --> 00:07:56,518 there is no way to right the ship. 111 00:07:56,518 --> 00:07:58,937 - I'm not following. - We are disinherited! 112 00:07:59,605 --> 00:08:00,939 But don't tell a soul. 113 00:08:01,982 --> 00:08:04,234 Y-You just told everybody in the bookstore. 114 00:08:05,694 --> 00:08:08,447 I don't think I will ever see any of these people ever again. 115 00:08:08,447 --> 00:08:10,115 What'd your husband say? 116 00:08:10,115 --> 00:08:12,784 He doesn't like when things get messy. 117 00:08:12,784 --> 00:08:15,120 - Maxine, you have to tell him. - No, I ca... 118 00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:16,747 Yes, the sooner the better. 119 00:08:16,747 --> 00:08:20,501 He's never been more in love with me than he is now. I can't. 120 00:08:20,501 --> 00:08:22,669 Oh, Maxine. [sighs] 121 00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:25,839 All right. Come here. It's gonna be okay. 122 00:08:25,839 --> 00:08:29,760 - Okay. Mmm. [inhales deeply] - All right? So breathe and listen to me. 123 00:08:29,760 --> 00:08:32,261 Palm Beach is just a shell game, 124 00:08:32,261 --> 00:08:34,306 and you're playing like one of the natives. 125 00:08:34,306 --> 00:08:35,933 I really wanna be a native. 126 00:08:35,933 --> 00:08:40,062 Down here, you're only a criminal if you get caught, and probably not even then. 127 00:08:40,062 --> 00:08:41,145 So you're good. 128 00:08:42,563 --> 00:08:45,234 See, look at us. We are best friends. 129 00:09:01,041 --> 00:09:03,377 A man in a fedora. 130 00:09:10,342 --> 00:09:12,261 I can see you in there, ma'am. 131 00:09:14,012 --> 00:09:18,517 Oh. [chuckles] Good morrow. 132 00:09:19,476 --> 00:09:22,563 I'm looking for a Mr. and Mrs. Douglas Dellacorte Simmons. 133 00:09:22,563 --> 00:09:24,481 Oh, we dropped the Simmons. 134 00:09:24,481 --> 00:09:27,192 Sergeant Tom Sanka, Palm Beach Police. 135 00:09:28,485 --> 00:09:31,363 Is this about the jewelry? The checks? Stoned Mabel? 136 00:09:31,363 --> 00:09:33,490 Look, I will tell you everything. I can't live like this. 137 00:09:35,534 --> 00:09:39,079 You need to appear in probate court tomorrow at 4:00 138 00:09:39,079 --> 00:09:41,748 in the matter of Norma Dellacorte's guardianship. 139 00:09:41,748 --> 00:09:43,959 - Oh. - Consider yourself served. 140 00:09:48,589 --> 00:09:49,715 Served? 141 00:09:49,715 --> 00:09:52,843 Your Honor, my husband and I are just mystified 142 00:09:52,843 --> 00:09:55,345 as to why this matter has been adjudicated, 143 00:09:55,345 --> 00:09:59,766 a-as we are Mrs. Norma Dellacorte's only living family. 144 00:09:59,766 --> 00:10:05,772 Fellas have a way of crawling out of the woodwork in situations like these. 145 00:10:06,356 --> 00:10:10,903 Uh, Mr., um, Diaz has, uh, 146 00:10:11,403 --> 00:10:14,198 petitioned the court for conservatorship. 147 00:10:14,198 --> 00:10:18,243 Uh, I'm sorry. Mr. who? I've never heard that name in my entire... 148 00:10:22,164 --> 00:10:23,415 - ...life. - I'm sorry, I'm late, Your Honor. 149 00:10:23,415 --> 00:10:26,376 You're not off to a very good start, Mr. Diaz. 150 00:10:26,376 --> 00:10:30,797 The role of conservator requires sober and timely administration 151 00:10:30,797 --> 00:10:36,720 of all the Dellacorte trusts and assets, including health proxies. 152 00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:42,518 Trusts and assets? Please clarify. [stammers] I'm just a wife. 153 00:10:42,518 --> 00:10:48,273 This fella has filed to be conservator of the Dellacorte trust. 154 00:10:48,273 --> 00:10:51,944 In other words, he who's the nurse, gets the purse. 155 00:10:53,111 --> 00:10:54,279 Proceed. 156 00:10:54,279 --> 00:10:57,950 Miss Simmons has moved into Miss Dellacorte's home, 157 00:10:58,450 --> 00:11:01,245 - stolen precious family heirlooms... - I object! 158 00:11:01,245 --> 00:11:03,205 Uh, you don't object. You... 159 00:11:03,205 --> 00:11:05,123 Your Honor, that matter has been sorted. 160 00:11:05,123 --> 00:11:08,168 Your Honor, we've all heard stories about gold diggers 161 00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:11,129 who come to Palm Beach and bleed the elderly dry. 162 00:11:11,129 --> 00:11:12,339 It would break my heart 163 00:11:12,339 --> 00:11:15,259 - if Norma became another cautionary tale. - [Maxine sighs] Gold digger? 164 00:11:15,259 --> 00:11:16,844 Please strike that from the record. 165 00:11:16,844 --> 00:11:19,346 - How very dare you! - What? 166 00:11:19,346 --> 00:11:21,723 [exhales sharply] Your Honor, permission to approach the bench. 167 00:11:21,723 --> 00:11:24,393 - No, no, you don't do that here. It... - Oh. 168 00:11:24,393 --> 00:11:27,104 This man is no caretaker. 169 00:11:27,104 --> 00:11:31,775 - He is a "pool boy"... - [gasps] 170 00:11:31,775 --> 00:11:34,820 ...and he has been squatting at Ms. Dellacorte's home 171 00:11:34,820 --> 00:11:36,530 with no written agreement. 172 00:11:37,155 --> 00:11:38,532 Your Honor, I am a veteran. 173 00:11:39,575 --> 00:11:41,201 She is a pageant runner-up 174 00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:42,202 - strutting around the house... - [gasps] 175 00:11:42,202 --> 00:11:44,037 - ...as if she owns it. - Runner-up? 176 00:11:44,037 --> 00:11:46,915 Oh, that is a gross misrepresentation. Strike that from the record. 177 00:11:46,915 --> 00:11:48,792 - Order in the court! [exhales heavily] - [judge] Pardon. 178 00:11:48,792 --> 00:11:50,836 - Excuse me. I was gonna say that. - [sighs] 179 00:11:50,836 --> 00:11:51,920 - Sorry. - [gavel thuds] 180 00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:56,466 We're gonna table this matter until one of you comes up with documentation 181 00:11:56,466 --> 00:11:58,802 to back up the accusations you've just made. 182 00:11:58,802 --> 00:12:01,972 Ah, yes. Your Honor, I apologize for my outburst. 183 00:12:01,972 --> 00:12:03,056 Adjourned. 184 00:12:03,891 --> 00:12:05,267 Thank you. 185 00:12:05,767 --> 00:12:08,478 Oh, I don't know why you felt the need to escalate. 186 00:12:09,021 --> 00:12:10,022 - [sighs, scoffs] - Really? 187 00:12:10,022 --> 00:12:12,524 It's just so uncivilized to get the law involved. 188 00:12:12,524 --> 00:12:15,402 You've been stealing from Norma. Now you've stolen from me. 189 00:12:15,402 --> 00:12:16,945 [scoffs] From you? [chuckles] 190 00:12:16,945 --> 00:12:19,114 What do you have that I could possibly want? 191 00:12:22,659 --> 00:12:24,119 - Robert. Robert! - What? 192 00:12:24,119 --> 00:12:26,246 [sighs] Listen. 193 00:12:27,998 --> 00:12:32,794 Clearly, we both want what's best for dear Norma, right? 194 00:12:32,794 --> 00:12:36,548 So maybe we could help each other. 195 00:12:37,883 --> 00:12:39,051 What's your game? 196 00:12:39,051 --> 00:12:44,014 I am set to throw Norma's end-of-season Beach Ball with Mrs. Rollins. 197 00:12:44,014 --> 00:12:45,724 In Norma's honor, of course. 198 00:12:46,683 --> 00:12:50,145 [smacks lips] And... [sighs] ...Mrs. Rollins has mentioned 199 00:12:50,145 --> 00:12:56,527 a certain Rolodex of Norma's that she has in a safety deposit box. 200 00:12:56,527 --> 00:12:59,154 You wouldn't happen to have that key, would you? 201 00:12:59,154 --> 00:13:00,864 You didn't do it? 202 00:13:00,864 --> 00:13:05,244 I assure you I'm innocent of whatever accusation has crossed your mind. 203 00:13:07,037 --> 00:13:09,414 I can't believe I'm gonna say this, but I believe you. 204 00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:12,125 Well, good. 205 00:13:23,846 --> 00:13:26,390 [Robert] Everyone is just out for themselves, Norma. 206 00:13:27,891 --> 00:13:31,603 But you knew that, and you protected us. 207 00:13:33,522 --> 00:13:35,315 So, why can't I protect you? 208 00:13:42,948 --> 00:13:44,783 - [sighs] - [door closes] 209 00:13:47,828 --> 00:13:48,829 Hey. 210 00:13:49,830 --> 00:13:50,831 Hi. 211 00:13:51,790 --> 00:13:52,791 [chuckles] 212 00:13:55,878 --> 00:13:56,879 How's Norma? 213 00:13:58,755 --> 00:14:02,801 Same. Hmm. How's your father? 214 00:14:04,178 --> 00:14:05,012 Fading. 215 00:14:05,596 --> 00:14:06,972 I'm sorry to hear that. 216 00:14:06,972 --> 00:14:08,056 Thanks. 217 00:14:12,644 --> 00:14:13,896 Why did you do it? 218 00:14:15,772 --> 00:14:16,982 What are you talking about? 219 00:14:18,692 --> 00:14:23,530 You come to my house, you get me high, and you stole from me. 220 00:14:23,530 --> 00:14:25,532 Well, technically, I stole from Norma. 221 00:14:25,532 --> 00:14:27,117 A helpless old woman. 222 00:14:27,117 --> 00:14:28,619 That woman is not helpless. 223 00:14:32,831 --> 00:14:35,167 [breathes deeply] 224 00:14:39,880 --> 00:14:44,718 I have a secret in that Rolodex, and I can't have it get out. 225 00:14:46,887 --> 00:14:48,889 What about all the other secrets? 226 00:14:48,889 --> 00:14:52,100 Don't worry. They'll all end with me. 227 00:14:53,685 --> 00:14:55,437 Secrets destroy people. 228 00:14:56,230 --> 00:14:58,524 So I'm gonna destroy that fucking Rolodex. 229 00:15:00,776 --> 00:15:02,569 Better with you than with Maxine. 230 00:15:02,569 --> 00:15:05,030 [both chuckle] 231 00:15:05,989 --> 00:15:07,991 - This we know. - [chuckles] 232 00:15:10,285 --> 00:15:11,328 You wanna meet my dad? 233 00:15:12,246 --> 00:15:13,247 I would love that. 234 00:15:15,123 --> 00:15:16,208 Pop? 235 00:15:16,208 --> 00:15:17,709 - [Linda's father] Hey, there she is. - Hey. 236 00:15:17,709 --> 00:15:22,756 [chuckles] I, uh, brought a friend. I want you to meet Robert. 237 00:15:23,507 --> 00:15:25,843 He's, um, close with Norma. 238 00:15:25,843 --> 00:15:28,136 Ah, has the old, uh, 239 00:15:29,304 --> 00:15:34,601 frail "curmudgeoness" tried to marry you off to my daughter yet? 240 00:15:35,352 --> 00:15:37,145 - Not yet. - [Linda chuckles] 241 00:15:37,145 --> 00:15:38,981 - You wanna sit? - [chuckles] Thank you. 242 00:15:41,316 --> 00:15:43,485 Hey, Bud. Welcome. 243 00:15:43,485 --> 00:15:44,570 Pleasure. 244 00:15:44,570 --> 00:15:46,405 Dad, Robert was in Korea. 245 00:15:47,865 --> 00:15:49,616 Another pointless fucking war. 246 00:15:51,368 --> 00:15:52,411 Why you look at me like that? 247 00:15:53,120 --> 00:15:56,582 Oh, no, I... [stammers] Dad, I think he's just surprised that someone 248 00:15:56,582 --> 00:16:01,253 who inherited his fortune from warmongers isn't a military apologist. 249 00:16:01,253 --> 00:16:04,131 I've been dying for 20 years, okay? 250 00:16:05,215 --> 00:16:10,512 And the one thing you learn is how to confront the truth. 251 00:16:11,096 --> 00:16:12,097 [sighs] 252 00:16:14,391 --> 00:16:16,226 [Linda's father] My biggest regret in life 253 00:16:16,226 --> 00:16:21,315 is that I never did a goddamn thing about that. 254 00:16:22,900 --> 00:16:27,070 But I guess that's my little piece of luggage. [sighs] 255 00:16:30,115 --> 00:16:31,658 You ever read Timothy Leary? 256 00:16:31,658 --> 00:16:33,243 No, should I? 257 00:16:33,952 --> 00:16:35,537 Does Pinocchio have a wooden dick? 258 00:16:35,537 --> 00:16:36,705 - Harvard grad... - [chuckles] 259 00:16:36,705 --> 00:16:40,209 ...high priest, the fucking master. 260 00:16:41,210 --> 00:16:44,922 You got a book in your bookstore. The Psychedelic Experience. 261 00:16:44,922 --> 00:16:47,257 - Get it for him. I know you got it. - Cool. 262 00:16:47,257 --> 00:16:49,468 - Put it on my bill. - Done. 263 00:16:51,553 --> 00:16:52,971 You got a presence, bud. 264 00:16:54,389 --> 00:16:55,724 You've got a presence. 265 00:16:57,059 --> 00:16:58,477 [chuckles] 266 00:16:58,477 --> 00:17:00,646 If the present trend continues, 267 00:17:01,146 --> 00:17:04,650 another four million will join the welfare willingly... 268 00:17:04,650 --> 00:17:06,944 [Douglas] Hola, mi corazรณn. 269 00:17:06,944 --> 00:17:08,028 [scoffs] 270 00:17:08,028 --> 00:17:10,071 - Look at you, handsome man. [chuckles] - Mmm. 271 00:17:10,656 --> 00:17:12,699 - Max. [exhales deeply] - Yes? 272 00:17:14,242 --> 00:17:16,869 I did it. I quit my job. 273 00:17:18,413 --> 00:17:19,498 So soon? 274 00:17:19,498 --> 00:17:22,376 Well, our fortune's about to come in any day now, right? 275 00:17:23,460 --> 00:17:27,214 Yes. [chuckles] Yay. I'm working on it. 276 00:17:28,298 --> 00:17:29,299 What's that? 277 00:17:30,175 --> 00:17:33,720 Oh... Oh, well, you just wait here. I'm gonna do my finishing touches. 278 00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:35,180 Don't wanna be late. [chuckles] 279 00:17:40,352 --> 00:17:41,353 [chuckles] 280 00:17:48,610 --> 00:17:54,908 [Raquel] Bienvenidos. Bonsoir. We want to welcome you all to Old Havana night. 281 00:17:55,701 --> 00:17:58,871 A celebration of life the way it used to be. 282 00:17:59,705 --> 00:18:01,164 The way it could be. 283 00:18:02,207 --> 00:18:04,835 A celebration of freedom! 284 00:18:04,835 --> 00:18:06,461 [cheering] 285 00:18:10,257 --> 00:18:13,093 [chattering, whistling, cheering] 286 00:18:13,802 --> 00:18:16,013 Babe, you didn't tell me there was gonna be craps. 287 00:18:16,013 --> 00:18:19,600 Well, now, let's not get ahead of ourselves, Douglas. [chuckles] 288 00:18:19,600 --> 00:18:21,727 Dougie-doo, you old bungbucket! 289 00:18:21,727 --> 00:18:23,187 Damn my eyes, Perry Donahue. 290 00:18:23,187 --> 00:18:26,773 Babe, would you get us a few drinks? I'm gonna warm up my throwing hand. 291 00:18:26,773 --> 00:18:28,817 Well, well. Not too warm, okay? [chuckles] 292 00:18:28,817 --> 00:18:30,652 [Perry] Come on, let's go warm up those tables, baby. 293 00:18:30,652 --> 00:18:33,697 [rumba music playing] 294 00:18:43,040 --> 00:18:44,791 [gasps, sighs] 295 00:18:46,793 --> 00:18:47,628 [gasps] 296 00:18:47,628 --> 00:18:51,173 [cheering, gasping] 297 00:19:33,882 --> 00:19:37,803 Have you ever seen such a tacky shit parade in your life? 298 00:19:38,387 --> 00:19:39,680 Gosh, no. [chuckles] 299 00:19:40,764 --> 00:19:41,890 What's wrong with it? 300 00:19:42,391 --> 00:19:45,644 [scoffs] Raquel took the most beloved hotel in Palm Beach 301 00:19:45,644 --> 00:19:47,187 and "bacchanalized" it. 302 00:19:47,896 --> 00:19:52,150 This is why it's important for me to co-host the Beach Ball, Maxine. 303 00:19:52,150 --> 00:19:54,820 Have you managed to locate the key to the safety deposit box? 304 00:19:54,820 --> 00:19:58,657 Evelyn, I have turned that house inside and out. No luck. 305 00:19:59,366 --> 00:20:04,288 We all want to give a warm welcome home to my dear husband, Pinky. 306 00:20:04,288 --> 00:20:05,706 [cheering, whistling] 307 00:20:05,706 --> 00:20:06,790 [chuckles] 308 00:20:07,457 --> 00:20:11,253 Welcome home from Sing Sing. It's true. Just last Tuesday. 309 00:20:11,253 --> 00:20:14,423 These lucky wheels and tables are from my old casino. 310 00:20:15,299 --> 00:20:17,384 Everything you win, you get to keep. 311 00:20:17,384 --> 00:20:22,055 Everything you lose goes to our struggling Batista refugees, huh? 312 00:20:22,055 --> 00:20:23,015 [guests applauding] 313 00:20:23,015 --> 00:20:24,266 He's a mobster. 314 00:20:25,350 --> 00:20:29,688 They don't call it that, but that's what he is. A gangster out on parole. 315 00:20:30,606 --> 00:20:34,401 Mark my words, this is the face of things to come in Palm Beach. 316 00:20:34,401 --> 00:20:36,486 The rise of the common criminal. 317 00:20:36,486 --> 00:20:38,989 - Hideous. I hate criminals. - [chuckles] 318 00:20:39,615 --> 00:20:41,158 I can feel it happening already. 319 00:20:42,451 --> 00:20:43,452 Feel what? 320 00:20:43,452 --> 00:20:45,162 My social casting-out. 321 00:20:45,162 --> 00:20:46,622 Why, Evelyn? 322 00:20:47,122 --> 00:20:51,168 With Norma embolized, you are the woman to know in Palm Beach. 323 00:20:54,087 --> 00:20:55,130 I don't like you, Maxine. 324 00:20:55,130 --> 00:20:58,550 And though there are plenty of rumors about my actual feelings for Skeet, 325 00:20:59,134 --> 00:21:00,385 I'm lonely without him. 326 00:21:01,386 --> 00:21:03,805 He was always a bit of a prick, but he was fun. [chuckles] 327 00:21:03,805 --> 00:21:05,599 He used to take me out dancing. 328 00:21:06,433 --> 00:21:08,602 He was terrible at it, but he was game. 329 00:21:08,602 --> 00:21:11,522 - Hmm. - And I had enough style to cover for him. 330 00:21:13,649 --> 00:21:15,901 Now he lies about in his robe all day, 331 00:21:15,901 --> 00:21:18,820 slowly but surely turning into a hippie Howard Hughes. 332 00:21:19,488 --> 00:21:21,949 It is no picnic caring for an ailing spouse. 333 00:21:22,950 --> 00:21:25,118 The last time I was with him, his catheter came loose, 334 00:21:25,118 --> 00:21:27,454 and he accidentally shot urine into my mouth. 335 00:21:27,955 --> 00:21:28,956 I'm so sorry. 336 00:21:30,123 --> 00:21:32,835 At the same time, I have so many questions about how that happened. 337 00:21:32,835 --> 00:21:35,921 I've got nothing left to cement my status in this town. 338 00:21:35,921 --> 00:21:37,631 Nothing but the Beach Ball. 339 00:21:37,631 --> 00:21:40,342 How can I compete with stricken infants and a bacchanal like this? 340 00:21:40,342 --> 00:21:41,718 [Dinah] Maxine! 341 00:21:41,718 --> 00:21:43,846 Pool. Now. Excuse us. 342 00:21:43,846 --> 00:21:46,348 If I were you, I wouldn't treat me as if I were invisible, Dinah. 343 00:21:47,224 --> 00:21:48,892 Then don't become invisible, Evelyn. 344 00:21:49,518 --> 00:21:52,062 - Come on, Maxine. Come on. - Coming. 345 00:21:59,444 --> 00:22:01,113 [grunting] 346 00:22:02,948 --> 00:22:06,326 Eddie's jealous of Perry. Says he's going to kill him. 347 00:22:06,326 --> 00:22:09,746 What? Wh... Eddie's gonna murder your husband? 348 00:22:09,746 --> 00:22:12,833 Please. He's only kidding, I think. 349 00:22:12,833 --> 00:22:15,085 Regardless, I thought it was kind of sweet. 350 00:22:15,586 --> 00:22:18,255 Why is Eddie jealous of Perry? Wouldn't it be the other way around? 351 00:22:18,255 --> 00:22:20,007 That's exactly what I said. 352 00:22:20,007 --> 00:22:22,009 Eddie asked if Perry and I still had sex, 353 00:22:22,009 --> 00:22:23,510 - and I said, well, if a hand job... - Oh. 354 00:22:23,510 --> 00:22:25,721 ...on the Chris-Craft last Wednesday counted as sex, then sure. 355 00:22:25,721 --> 00:22:27,890 But Perry had just bought me a new tennis bracelet, 356 00:22:27,890 --> 00:22:30,184 so I figured... [scoffs] ...what the hell. 357 00:22:30,184 --> 00:22:32,811 Anyway, that plus Douglas being back in town 358 00:22:32,811 --> 00:22:34,730 had bought me more time with Eddie than ever. 359 00:22:34,730 --> 00:22:38,233 So maybe, Maxine, I should... [inhales deeply] ...thank you. 360 00:22:38,859 --> 00:22:40,527 - Well, you're welcome. [chuckles] - [chuckles] 361 00:22:40,527 --> 00:22:43,155 What does my Douglas have to do with a handy? 362 00:22:43,155 --> 00:22:44,239 Oh, you silly goose. 363 00:22:44,239 --> 00:22:46,825 Apparently, Douglas and Perry were inseparable 364 00:22:46,825 --> 00:22:49,494 back in their prep school days, and now they're back at it, 365 00:22:49,494 --> 00:22:51,121 which helps me avoid scrutiny. 366 00:22:51,121 --> 00:22:52,748 - [chuckles] - [clicks tongue, sighs] 367 00:22:52,748 --> 00:22:55,834 Perry says that he and Douglas bring out the worst in each other. 368 00:22:55,834 --> 00:22:59,421 But he laughs every time he says it, so I interpret that to mean fun. 369 00:22:59,421 --> 00:23:00,714 Oh, the worst? 370 00:23:00,714 --> 00:23:01,924 [chuckles] The worst. 371 00:23:01,924 --> 00:23:05,719 I'm sure by "worst" he means they do nice, good, clean stuff. [chuckles] 372 00:23:05,719 --> 00:23:07,763 - Have you met Perry? [laughing] - [chuckles] 373 00:23:12,392 --> 00:23:14,686 [chattering, laughing] 374 00:23:18,815 --> 00:23:20,651 [Douglas] Come on, baby. Come on, dice. 375 00:23:20,651 --> 00:23:22,402 [Perry chuckles] 376 00:23:22,402 --> 00:23:25,697 - Come on, lucky hog. Sixes! - Come on! 377 00:23:26,240 --> 00:23:27,991 - [guests] Aw. Oh. - Oh. [groans] 378 00:23:27,991 --> 00:23:30,786 Douglas, sweetie, why don't we sit this one out? 379 00:23:30,786 --> 00:23:32,079 Come, let's go have a rum punch. 380 00:23:32,079 --> 00:23:36,792 No! I believe in us, Maxine. I am doubling down. 381 00:23:36,792 --> 00:23:37,751 [chuckles] 382 00:23:37,751 --> 00:23:38,669 - Right. - [Douglas] Mmm. 383 00:23:38,669 --> 00:23:39,878 Place your bets. 384 00:23:44,216 --> 00:23:46,844 Bartender, can I get a bourbon neat and a grassho... 385 00:23:46,844 --> 00:23:50,180 Grasshopper? Hi, gold digger. 386 00:23:50,180 --> 00:23:53,767 Hi, pool boy. Didn't think you'd be working this party. 387 00:23:53,767 --> 00:23:54,852 Someone has to work. 388 00:23:54,852 --> 00:23:55,978 Hmm. Pity to be you. 389 00:23:56,562 --> 00:23:59,565 [rumba music playing] 390 00:23:59,565 --> 00:24:01,316 [guests applauding, cheering] 391 00:24:09,533 --> 00:24:15,914 Everybody, I hope you will all join us on the dance floor for a rumba! 392 00:24:15,914 --> 00:24:22,171 Dance freely, drink freely, spend freely, love freely. 393 00:24:26,675 --> 00:24:29,344 [Maxine] Jeezy-creezy. Norma's ruby. 394 00:24:29,344 --> 00:24:30,470 [gasps] 395 00:24:34,183 --> 00:24:36,768 I wonder how Raquel got a hold of Norma's ruby, 396 00:24:36,768 --> 00:24:39,938 which I remember putting in Norma's jewelry box at Destiny Vistas. 397 00:24:40,606 --> 00:24:44,651 As her caretaker, don't you have unrestricted access to her jewelry? 398 00:24:44,651 --> 00:24:47,196 Same access you have as a loving family. 399 00:24:47,196 --> 00:24:49,656 I wonder what the judge would make of this. 400 00:24:49,656 --> 00:24:51,783 [Pinky] Okay, ladies and gentlemen. Damas y caballeros. 401 00:24:52,534 --> 00:24:55,162 We're gonna do this the way we did it in El Tropicana. 402 00:24:55,162 --> 00:24:59,750 Everybody grab yourself a partner and get ready to rumba! 403 00:24:59,750 --> 00:25:02,211 Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go dance with the hostess. 404 00:25:02,211 --> 00:25:03,795 Those rubies have a story to tell. 405 00:25:07,299 --> 00:25:08,300 [sighs] 406 00:25:10,469 --> 00:25:11,512 [grunts] Oh. 407 00:25:33,075 --> 00:25:34,368 [chuckles] Hello! 408 00:25:39,373 --> 00:25:42,167 - Shall we dance? - Oh, papi, I thought you'd never ask. 409 00:25:42,167 --> 00:25:44,503 - [Maxine] Raquel! [gasps] - Hey, babe! It's time to rumba. 410 00:25:44,503 --> 00:25:46,588 Oh. [chuckles] Silly, I don't know how to rumba. 411 00:25:46,588 --> 00:25:47,673 Ah, neither do I. 412 00:25:47,673 --> 00:25:49,007 [Maxine pants] 413 00:25:49,633 --> 00:25:51,051 So, how much did you win? 414 00:25:51,051 --> 00:25:52,553 - A ton. - Really? 415 00:25:52,553 --> 00:25:55,055 Yeah, but I lost even more. But who cares? 416 00:25:55,055 --> 00:25:57,641 It's small beans compared to what we got coming to us, right? 417 00:25:57,641 --> 00:25:58,725 Yeah. 418 00:25:58,725 --> 00:26:02,437 Perry has got a tasty real estate deal coming through with his frogs, 419 00:26:02,437 --> 00:26:05,107 and he says we can get in on the ground floor. 420 00:26:05,732 --> 00:26:08,694 Wow. Seems too good to be true. 421 00:26:08,694 --> 00:26:09,987 I know, right? 422 00:26:11,822 --> 00:26:13,490 Hey, babe? Babe? 423 00:26:13,490 --> 00:26:16,493 Norma was always very tight-lipped about your friendship. 424 00:26:17,327 --> 00:26:21,123 We had... have a very special relationship. 425 00:26:21,123 --> 00:26:26,545 I'm sure you brought her a lot, a lot of pleasure. Rumors abound. 426 00:26:26,545 --> 00:26:28,547 Imagine with the poor dear out of commission, 427 00:26:29,256 --> 00:26:30,799 you're gonna need a new sponsor. 428 00:26:31,300 --> 00:26:33,969 - Hmm, maybe. Maybe not. - [gasps] 429 00:26:33,969 --> 00:26:37,723 Let's say within the next few days, I'll be in a more responsible position. 430 00:26:37,723 --> 00:26:38,640 [Raquel chuckles] 431 00:26:39,474 --> 00:26:40,559 - Speaking of... - [Raquel gasps] 432 00:26:41,101 --> 00:26:42,436 ...great necklace. 433 00:26:42,436 --> 00:26:43,812 - Oh. - How'd you come by it? 434 00:26:44,313 --> 00:26:48,233 Oh. Oh, Pinky, he's always getting me these little trinkets. 435 00:26:48,859 --> 00:26:51,236 There's a lot more where this came from 436 00:26:51,820 --> 00:26:54,406 if you can do that voodoo you apparently do so well. 437 00:26:55,032 --> 00:26:58,368 Okay, ladies and gentlemen. We're gonna switch it up. 438 00:26:58,994 --> 00:27:02,372 Turn to your left. Turn to your right. 439 00:27:03,916 --> 00:27:07,419 Now find yourself a new rumba partner! 440 00:27:07,419 --> 00:27:09,505 [grunts] Find me later, Robert! 441 00:27:13,258 --> 00:27:14,801 - Oh, no, no, no, no, no. - Oh. 442 00:27:17,304 --> 00:27:18,639 Hello! 443 00:27:20,098 --> 00:27:21,099 Oh! Perry. 444 00:27:21,099 --> 00:27:22,643 Mrs. Dougerie-doo. 445 00:27:22,643 --> 00:27:23,727 Ooh. [chuckles] 446 00:27:24,228 --> 00:27:27,689 I hear you and my Douglas are cooking up quite a little business scheme. 447 00:27:27,689 --> 00:27:28,941 - [Perry chuckles] - [grunts] 448 00:27:28,941 --> 00:27:31,944 Yes, sirree. It's good to have my wingman back in town 449 00:27:31,944 --> 00:27:33,862 after hiding out from us for all these years. 450 00:27:33,862 --> 00:27:35,781 Yeah. You're breeding frogs? [chuckles] 451 00:27:35,781 --> 00:27:39,117 - [chuckles] Frogs! You're such a pip. - Oh. [chuckles] 452 00:27:39,117 --> 00:27:44,790 No, it's my Luxembourgian investors. It's a global venture, but local too. 453 00:27:52,923 --> 00:27:54,341 And switch again! 454 00:27:54,341 --> 00:27:56,802 - Have to switch. [chuckles] - Yeah. [chuckles] 455 00:27:56,802 --> 00:27:58,387 - All right, toodles. - [chuckles] 456 00:28:12,276 --> 00:28:14,987 And switch your partners one more time! 457 00:28:14,987 --> 00:28:18,073 If you get left out in the cold, make a little threesome. 458 00:28:18,073 --> 00:28:24,162 A Cubano sandwich. That's a little ham, a little pork and a little cheese. Hey! 459 00:28:24,162 --> 00:28:25,080 Robert! 460 00:28:25,080 --> 00:28:26,415 - Hey, Raquel. - [chuckles] 461 00:28:26,415 --> 00:28:29,001 Oh, Raquel, what a beautiful necklace. 462 00:28:29,001 --> 00:28:30,127 Oh. [chuckles] 463 00:28:30,127 --> 00:28:32,796 Pinky gave it to her. I wonder where he got it from. 464 00:28:32,796 --> 00:28:34,715 - Maxine. - Why is everyone talking 465 00:28:34,715 --> 00:28:36,341 - about my necklace? - Shall we? 466 00:28:36,341 --> 00:28:39,136 Check it out. I think I'm finally getting the hang of this. 467 00:28:41,430 --> 00:28:42,806 Absolutely. 468 00:28:44,766 --> 00:28:47,519 Listen, I was thinking. Um, since Perry's deal is still brewing, 469 00:28:47,519 --> 00:28:50,355 maybe it was a bit of a rash decision for you to quit, 470 00:28:50,355 --> 00:28:54,276 and you should go back and tell them maybe you... you're having second thoughts? 471 00:28:54,276 --> 00:28:55,194 It's too late. 472 00:28:55,194 --> 00:29:00,282 [exhales sharply] Well, it's never too late to say, "I made a mistake." 473 00:29:00,282 --> 00:29:03,785 How could this be a mistake? Choosing you. Choosing this life. 474 00:29:03,785 --> 00:29:05,954 - Look at all the fun we're having. - [chuckling] 475 00:29:05,954 --> 00:29:07,664 Plus, what could go wrong? 476 00:29:08,248 --> 00:29:10,000 Oh, uh, could you excuse me just for a minute? 477 00:29:10,000 --> 00:29:11,585 I'll be back. Just keep doing that. 478 00:29:18,091 --> 00:29:18,926 Mitzi. 479 00:29:18,926 --> 00:29:22,930 Maxine. I'm so excited. This is my first modeling gig. 480 00:29:22,930 --> 00:29:25,641 Sweetie, this isn't really a modeling gig. 481 00:29:25,641 --> 00:29:29,102 And there's so many eligible men. I've already forgotten my boyfriend. 482 00:29:29,102 --> 00:29:31,522 Oh. Oh, well. I guess there's good news in that. 483 00:29:32,773 --> 00:29:33,774 Hello, friend. 484 00:29:34,274 --> 00:29:35,275 Mary. 485 00:29:36,151 --> 00:29:38,237 - Oh. - I've been looking for you. 486 00:29:39,196 --> 00:29:40,948 Wow, you're dancing the boy part. [chuckles] 487 00:29:40,948 --> 00:29:42,950 - Well, I went to a girls' school. - [chuckles] 488 00:29:42,950 --> 00:29:48,038 Half of us had to learn on the left foot. Half on the right. I was a left-foot girl. 489 00:29:48,038 --> 00:29:50,249 Oh, well... Oh. How handy. 490 00:29:50,249 --> 00:29:52,626 - [Mitzi chuckles] - [Perry laughs] 491 00:29:52,626 --> 00:29:54,503 - You'll never believe what happened. - Mmm. 492 00:29:54,503 --> 00:29:59,550 You wrote me a funny check for the Fibs. It bounced like a red rubber ball. 493 00:29:59,550 --> 00:30:01,301 Oh. [stammers, chuckles] Oh. 494 00:30:01,301 --> 00:30:03,762 I'm just juggling so many accounts these days. 495 00:30:03,762 --> 00:30:05,514 I probably just wrote it from the wrong one. 496 00:30:05,514 --> 00:30:07,891 Oh, yes. That happens to all of us. 497 00:30:07,891 --> 00:30:11,770 Guess I'll have my accountant sort it out in the morning. [chuckles, grunts] 498 00:30:11,770 --> 00:30:13,647 - See that you do. - Okay. 499 00:30:14,231 --> 00:30:15,065 [grunts] 500 00:30:15,065 --> 00:30:16,733 - You wouldn't want to get a reputation. - Okay. 501 00:30:16,733 --> 00:30:18,986 - [Mary grunts] - Well, oh! Oh! 502 00:30:19,611 --> 00:30:20,988 With the Beach Ball coming up. 503 00:30:22,531 --> 00:30:26,243 Oh, look... [chuckles] ...there's my-my purse. I've been looking for that. Uh... 504 00:30:27,411 --> 00:30:28,245 [grunts] 505 00:30:28,996 --> 00:30:31,748 I just gotta get some mints for later. 506 00:30:37,671 --> 00:30:38,589 You're so tall. 507 00:30:38,589 --> 00:30:40,174 [chuckles] I guess. 508 00:30:40,757 --> 00:30:43,218 You know, some men would be intimidated by that. 509 00:30:44,511 --> 00:30:47,181 I, however, am not. 510 00:30:47,181 --> 00:30:48,849 [Raquel] I've been thinking. 511 00:30:48,849 --> 00:30:52,561 Whatever Norma paid you, I'm willing to double it. 512 00:30:53,187 --> 00:30:54,771 I don't need your sponsorship. 513 00:30:55,689 --> 00:30:58,525 [scoffs] I guess you still belong to Norma. 514 00:30:59,026 --> 00:31:01,153 [chuckles] You know what else belongs to Norma? 515 00:31:01,778 --> 00:31:02,779 What? 516 00:31:03,739 --> 00:31:07,034 That necklace was stolen from Norma Dellacorte. 517 00:31:08,410 --> 00:31:09,411 [gasps] 518 00:31:11,371 --> 00:31:13,790 Are you accusing my husband of theft? 519 00:31:13,790 --> 00:31:17,711 Hmm. I just want it back. No questions asked. 520 00:31:17,711 --> 00:31:21,173 It would be a shame if Pinky had to go back on vacation. 521 00:31:21,798 --> 00:31:22,799 - [gasps] - Wouldn't it? 522 00:31:29,264 --> 00:31:30,807 Raquel. [whispers] I'll fix it. 523 00:31:30,807 --> 00:31:31,892 What is it, Maxine? 524 00:31:35,270 --> 00:31:37,356 [inhales sharply, grunts] 525 00:31:47,824 --> 00:31:49,993 Nothing. Nothing. 526 00:31:49,993 --> 00:31:50,911 Mmm. 527 00:31:55,082 --> 00:31:56,083 [sighs] 528 00:32:05,425 --> 00:32:07,386 Maxine, do you have a pen? 529 00:32:07,386 --> 00:32:09,805 I met a really cute guy, and he wants my number. 530 00:32:09,805 --> 00:32:11,014 These things don't have pockets. 531 00:32:11,014 --> 00:32:12,432 Okay. Here. 532 00:32:13,183 --> 00:32:14,685 - Thank you. [chuckles] - Okay. Be careful. 533 00:32:29,908 --> 00:32:32,578 Sergeant Tom Sanka? Maxine Dellacorte. 534 00:32:33,579 --> 00:32:35,330 I'd like to report a stolen jewel. 535 00:32:38,876 --> 00:32:43,297 Indeed, your Honor, as you can see by my sworn, typed affidavit, 536 00:32:43,297 --> 00:32:47,593 this ruby necklace was recovered from the Havana Nights Gala 537 00:32:47,593 --> 00:32:51,388 and then found in Mr. Diaz's pocket. 538 00:32:51,388 --> 00:32:52,389 [attendees gasp] 539 00:32:52,389 --> 00:32:59,062 The same Mr. Diaz who came to this very court asking for conservatorship. 540 00:32:59,938 --> 00:33:03,859 [chuckles] Yes. This precious stone, ladies and gentlemen, 541 00:33:03,859 --> 00:33:07,863 was in fact stolen from the Dellacorte home 542 00:33:07,863 --> 00:33:12,326 where Mr. Diaz purportedly worked as a "caretaker." 543 00:33:12,326 --> 00:33:14,411 [guards, inmates chattering] 544 00:33:17,497 --> 00:33:18,916 It's your lucky day. 545 00:33:25,506 --> 00:33:26,840 Somebody posted bail for you. 546 00:33:29,843 --> 00:33:35,015 And yet, in my heart of hearts, I know Mr. Diaz is a troubled man. 547 00:33:37,059 --> 00:33:41,480 Shall I be granted conservatorship, on behalf of Norma and her estate... 548 00:33:41,480 --> 00:33:46,360 [inhales deeply] ...we have generously decided not to press charges. 549 00:33:47,444 --> 00:33:49,029 I know she would want it that way. 550 00:33:49,613 --> 00:33:51,406 [attendees applauding] 551 00:33:52,658 --> 00:33:53,700 [chuckles] 552 00:33:57,162 --> 00:33:59,748 In the matter of Norma Dellacorte, 553 00:33:59,748 --> 00:34:04,545 the court hereby grants sole custody and conservatorship 554 00:34:05,796 --> 00:34:08,090 to Mrs. Douglas Dellacorte. 555 00:34:08,090 --> 00:34:10,259 And as such, all trusts, bank accounts, 556 00:34:10,259 --> 00:34:12,010 - safety deposit boxes... - [breathes deeply] 557 00:34:12,010 --> 00:34:13,428 ...and any offshore assets 558 00:34:13,428 --> 00:34:18,141 shall immediately be transferred to her control and discretion. 559 00:34:18,891 --> 00:34:20,060 [breathes deeply] 560 00:34:20,643 --> 00:34:22,478 Under one condition. 561 00:34:23,522 --> 00:34:28,277 Anything. [sniffles] Anything for dear Aunt Norma, Your Honor. [breathes heavily] 562 00:34:29,194 --> 00:34:33,574 [Douglas] Are you sure you want to keep her here? It is a big responsibility. 563 00:34:33,574 --> 00:34:35,534 [Maxine] Oh. We're up to it. 564 00:34:37,159 --> 00:34:39,746 - That smell is kind of unpleasant. - [shushing] 565 00:34:39,746 --> 00:34:42,248 I don't know where exactly it's coming from. 566 00:34:42,248 --> 00:34:46,295 [shushes] Douglas. We don't know what she can hear and not hear. 567 00:34:46,879 --> 00:34:50,090 The home says she's in a "twilight stupor." 568 00:34:50,090 --> 00:34:52,717 Which, from what I understand, is catty-corner to coma. 569 00:34:53,217 --> 00:34:55,219 [groans] 570 00:34:56,429 --> 00:34:57,431 Well, can she talk? 571 00:34:58,015 --> 00:34:59,850 Oh, well, poor dear can sort of moan and yodel, 572 00:34:59,850 --> 00:35:02,102 but consonants are off the table. 573 00:35:03,312 --> 00:35:06,857 I don't know. Shouldn't she be under the care of medical professionals? 574 00:35:06,857 --> 00:35:08,442 [Maxine] No, no, no. 575 00:35:08,442 --> 00:35:11,486 Look, all we have to do is flip her over every 30 minutes 576 00:35:11,486 --> 00:35:14,907 to keep her blood flowing, give her a shot every six hours. 577 00:35:14,907 --> 00:35:16,533 The home showed me how to do it. 578 00:35:16,533 --> 00:35:17,618 Seriously? 579 00:35:18,660 --> 00:35:22,748 [sighs] You know, in the short amount of time I've spent with Norma, 580 00:35:23,582 --> 00:35:27,669 I've grown kind of close to her. Poor dear. 581 00:35:27,669 --> 00:35:30,255 She got a rotten deal withering away in that place. 582 00:35:30,255 --> 00:35:32,341 We are gonna show her the best care we can. 583 00:35:32,341 --> 00:35:34,593 Well, I guess it's the least we can do for her 584 00:35:35,135 --> 00:35:37,763 considering all the ka-ching that's coming our way. 585 00:35:39,848 --> 00:35:44,686 [sighs, inhales deeply] Um, about that. [chuckles] 586 00:35:44,686 --> 00:35:48,649 Uh, Douglas, there's something I have to tell you. 587 00:35:49,441 --> 00:35:50,442 Max? 588 00:35:51,735 --> 00:35:56,573 Well, while I was attending to Norma's guardianship, 589 00:35:56,573 --> 00:35:58,825 I became aware of something that will disturb you. 590 00:35:59,409 --> 00:36:00,244 Uh-huh. 591 00:36:01,662 --> 00:36:08,043 When she passes, her estate is going to a cat sanctuary. 592 00:36:13,090 --> 00:36:14,258 Why would she do that? 593 00:36:14,258 --> 00:36:17,594 I'm sure she was non compos mentis when she made that decision. 594 00:36:18,095 --> 00:36:21,139 [stammers] I-I'm her favorite nephew. I'm her only nephew. 595 00:36:21,807 --> 00:36:23,267 I th-thought she loved me. 596 00:36:23,267 --> 00:36:25,352 - [Maxine] She did. She does. - [wheezing] 597 00:36:26,228 --> 00:36:28,730 [sighs] We both know it was me she never liked. 598 00:36:30,107 --> 00:36:31,108 I'm gonna kill her. 599 00:36:31,108 --> 00:36:33,151 No. No! Don't say that. 600 00:36:34,069 --> 00:36:38,574 It is of the utmost importance that we keep her alive as long as we can. 601 00:36:39,658 --> 00:36:40,659 Because? 602 00:36:40,659 --> 00:36:43,328 Because it is the right thing to do. 603 00:36:44,580 --> 00:36:49,042 And because, silver lining, 604 00:36:49,042 --> 00:36:51,962 the two of you now have time to work on your relationship. 605 00:36:53,088 --> 00:36:58,177 And because, as her legal conservator, 606 00:36:58,177 --> 00:37:02,681 I have permission to pay us a salary commensurate with her level of care. 607 00:37:08,770 --> 00:37:13,275 So as long as she's in a stupor, we get the checkbook. 608 00:37:13,984 --> 00:37:16,403 And if she dies, it goes to the cat place. 609 00:37:17,446 --> 00:37:19,656 Palm Beach Pedigree Feline Conservancy. 610 00:37:19,656 --> 00:37:20,741 Huh. 611 00:37:21,783 --> 00:37:24,786 I just wanted to have it all figured out before I told you. 612 00:37:25,370 --> 00:37:27,247 You know, cushion the blow and all that. 613 00:37:27,247 --> 00:37:30,501 Oh, I can't believe you did this for me. For us. 614 00:37:30,501 --> 00:37:32,503 - [bell dings] - Oh, oh! Time to flip. 615 00:37:33,212 --> 00:37:34,880 Come on. Here. Maybe we take this down. 616 00:37:34,880 --> 00:37:37,257 - I don't know. To be honest... - How we gonna do this? 617 00:37:37,257 --> 00:37:38,926 ...she's kind of creeping me out. 618 00:37:39,760 --> 00:37:41,011 Is she looking at us? 619 00:37:41,011 --> 00:37:43,430 [whispers] Douglas, maybe she can hear you. 620 00:37:43,430 --> 00:37:46,475 On my three. One, two, three. 621 00:37:46,475 --> 00:37:47,809 - [grunts] - [Douglas sighs] 622 00:37:53,190 --> 00:37:54,399 [Maxine] I don't believe it. 623 00:37:54,983 --> 00:37:55,984 The key. 624 00:37:56,693 --> 00:37:57,694 The what? 625 00:37:59,696 --> 00:38:03,992 It's no Four Seasons, but here we are. 626 00:38:03,992 --> 00:38:05,452 - [sighs] - [whispers] There we go. 627 00:38:05,452 --> 00:38:07,037 Thank you so much for helping me out. 628 00:38:07,037 --> 00:38:08,539 Yeah, sure. 629 00:38:09,206 --> 00:38:11,542 I can't believe they didn't give you conservatorship. 630 00:38:12,334 --> 00:38:14,336 You're the one that really loves Norma. [sighs] 631 00:38:16,296 --> 00:38:17,965 Seems to be the way for people like me. 632 00:38:18,715 --> 00:38:20,175 [chuckles] People like you? 633 00:38:24,972 --> 00:38:26,014 Yes. People like me. 634 00:38:31,103 --> 00:38:34,356 People like you might really like, uh, reading material in aisle seven. 635 00:38:39,236 --> 00:38:43,907 It seems we're on the cusp of victory after all. Congratulations, Maxine. 636 00:38:43,907 --> 00:38:48,203 Oh. My one hope is that you and Linda can mend fences. 637 00:38:48,704 --> 00:38:51,748 I hate that there's tension between my two closest friends in town. 638 00:38:51,748 --> 00:38:53,584 Her name's Penelope, dear. 639 00:38:53,584 --> 00:38:56,128 The Linda business is a pompous affectation. 640 00:38:56,128 --> 00:38:58,964 She's been quite clear that she identifies as Linda. 641 00:38:59,464 --> 00:39:02,676 You're an awfully good friend to Linda, all things considered. 642 00:39:03,635 --> 00:39:04,636 All things considered? 643 00:39:05,596 --> 00:39:07,639 - Ladies, who has the key? - Oh. 644 00:39:09,391 --> 00:39:10,559 [chattering] 645 00:39:14,271 --> 00:39:15,272 Seven. 646 00:39:21,278 --> 00:39:22,738 [whispering] Seven, seven, seven. 647 00:39:32,122 --> 00:39:33,123 [breathing shakily] 648 00:39:34,833 --> 00:39:35,834 [exhales sharply] 649 00:40:01,318 --> 00:40:02,402 [exhales sharply] 650 00:40:02,402 --> 00:40:04,321 - [Virginia] What's that? - Nothing. 651 00:40:05,155 --> 00:40:06,740 Is that why you hiding nothing? 652 00:40:06,740 --> 00:40:08,200 I got nothing to hide. 653 00:40:09,701 --> 00:40:10,786 Clearly. 654 00:40:15,666 --> 00:40:16,667 Ah, hell. 655 00:40:27,135 --> 00:40:28,804 I think that's everything. 656 00:40:28,804 --> 00:40:30,639 If you need anything else, I'll be right outside. 657 00:40:30,639 --> 00:40:32,850 Please tell Norma to get well soon. 658 00:40:32,850 --> 00:40:34,142 - Thank you. - I will. 659 00:40:34,142 --> 00:40:35,269 [Evelyn chuckles] 660 00:40:37,729 --> 00:40:38,564 All right. 661 00:40:40,440 --> 00:40:41,275 Wow. 662 00:40:43,902 --> 00:40:45,529 [Evelyn] Norma was always eclectic. 663 00:40:45,529 --> 00:40:46,613 [Maxine] Ugh. 664 00:40:46,613 --> 00:40:47,906 Let's look in the next box. 665 00:40:49,283 --> 00:40:50,951 - All right. [sighs] - Hmm. 666 00:40:55,122 --> 00:40:56,248 - [Maxine gasps] - Oh. 667 00:40:56,957 --> 00:40:58,292 [inhales sharply] 668 00:40:58,292 --> 00:41:00,586 Norma wears that every year at the Beach Ball. 669 00:41:02,421 --> 00:41:03,797 And this year will be no different. 670 00:41:03,797 --> 00:41:07,301 [sighs] Must be in that one. Come on. 671 00:41:08,719 --> 00:41:11,805 Are you ready? [breathes sharply] Ta-da! 672 00:41:15,058 --> 00:41:16,393 - It's empty. - [grunts] 673 00:41:16,393 --> 00:41:17,644 Is there a fourth box? 674 00:41:17,644 --> 00:41:19,396 - Well, this is unconscionable. - Oh, no. 675 00:41:19,396 --> 00:41:22,232 There's no place else she would've kept it. [sighs] 676 00:41:22,232 --> 00:41:25,819 Well... [stammers] ...unless I missed it amongst the other valuables. 677 00:41:25,819 --> 00:41:29,489 [scoffs] For fuck's sake, Maxine. You really are completely useless. 678 00:41:30,407 --> 00:41:31,783 - Evelyn. - [Evelyn sighs] 679 00:41:33,911 --> 00:41:34,912 [scoffs] 680 00:41:46,048 --> 00:41:47,049 Someday. 681 00:42:04,483 --> 00:42:05,484 Norma. 682 00:42:07,778 --> 00:42:09,029 Quite the gunslinger. 683 00:42:18,580 --> 00:42:21,583 "Skeet Rollins cordially requests the pleasure of your company 684 00:42:21,583 --> 00:42:25,754 at the wedding of his beloved daughter Penelope Rollins to..." 685 00:42:28,090 --> 00:42:31,426 Douglas! [breathes heavily] 686 00:42:33,971 --> 00:42:35,597 Douglas! [breathes heavily] 687 00:42:36,598 --> 00:42:38,600 [grumbles, breathes heavily] 688 00:42:38,600 --> 00:42:43,605 Douglas Darby Dellacorte Simmons! Douglas! 689 00:42:53,490 --> 00:42:54,825 [breathes heavily] 690 00:42:55,742 --> 00:42:57,077 [Norma, slurring] Weh-wah-wah! 691 00:43:01,498 --> 00:43:03,792 Norma? [breathes shakily] 692 00:43:05,169 --> 00:43:07,421 Norma, did you... did you say something? 693 00:43:08,380 --> 00:43:09,506 [slurring] Weh-wah-wah! 694 00:43:09,506 --> 00:43:11,383 [Maxine stammers] What? 695 00:43:12,593 --> 00:43:14,469 [slurring] Weh-wah-wah. 696 00:43:15,179 --> 00:43:17,806 - [imitates slurred speech] - [slurring] Weh-wah-wah. 697 00:43:17,806 --> 00:43:20,225 - [imitates slurred speech] - [sighs] 698 00:43:20,726 --> 00:43:22,644 [slurring, carefully] Weh-wah-wah. 699 00:43:22,644 --> 00:43:26,190 - [imitating Norma] Rahr... rah-vwar. - [slurring] Weh-wah-wah. 700 00:43:29,026 --> 00:43:29,860 [slurring] Weh-wah-wah. 701 00:43:29,860 --> 00:43:32,029 I don't know what wah-wah-wah-wah is. 702 00:43:32,029 --> 00:43:33,113 [shouting] Weh-wah-wah! 703 00:43:44,249 --> 00:43:46,293 - [gunshot] - [Norma, slurring] Weh-wah-wah! 54968

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