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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,005 --> 00:00:05,337 Mary! 2 00:00:05,339 --> 00:00:06,738 Mary! 3 00:00:06,740 --> 00:00:08,607 Let me take your picture with my cool new camera! 4 00:00:08,609 --> 00:00:09,608 Oh, no! Quit it! 5 00:00:09,610 --> 00:00:11,443 I always look terrible in those pictures. 6 00:00:11,445 --> 00:00:13,111 But these are sticky! 7 00:00:14,415 --> 00:00:15,914 Dick, I'm trying to work here. 8 00:00:15,916 --> 00:00:18,183 Why don't you take your new toy outside? 9 00:00:18,185 --> 00:00:19,617 Because you're in here! 10 00:00:20,921 --> 00:00:24,456 Let's do the many moods of Mary Albright. 11 00:00:24,458 --> 00:00:25,390 Angry. 12 00:00:27,394 --> 00:00:28,861 Angry. 13 00:00:30,764 --> 00:00:32,964 Okay. That's enough angry. 14 00:00:32,966 --> 00:00:35,167 Let's move on to impish. 15 00:00:35,169 --> 00:00:38,303 This is really annoying because you're not listening to me. 16 00:00:38,305 --> 00:00:40,138 But you're not listening to me! 17 00:00:40,140 --> 00:00:41,373 Where's impish? 18 00:00:41,375 --> 00:00:42,640 You know what? 19 00:00:42,642 --> 00:00:44,843 We are about to get into a huge fight. 20 00:00:44,845 --> 00:00:45,878 If that's the case, 21 00:00:45,880 --> 00:00:47,445 I better put in a new role of film. 22 00:00:49,583 --> 00:00:51,717 I've got to get out of here. 23 00:00:51,719 --> 00:00:53,185 All right. 24 00:00:53,187 --> 00:00:54,520 So, are we on for tonight? 25 00:00:54,522 --> 00:00:56,455 No. Um... 26 00:00:56,457 --> 00:00:58,556 I--I think we should just take the weekend off. 27 00:00:58,558 --> 00:01:00,692 What? Yeah, yeah. This'll be great. 28 00:01:00,694 --> 00:01:02,728 Um, let's just talk in a couple of days, 29 00:01:02,730 --> 00:01:04,596 and I'll have some time to myself, 30 00:01:04,598 --> 00:01:06,465 and you'll have some time to break your new camera. 31 00:01:06,467 --> 00:01:08,399 Mary... 32 00:01:09,870 --> 00:01:12,070 Nina! 33 00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:13,505 Did you hear any of that? 34 00:01:13,507 --> 00:01:14,739 Unfortunately, yes. 35 00:01:14,741 --> 00:01:17,442 I couldn't find my Walkman in time. 36 00:01:17,444 --> 00:01:20,879 So, is this the beginning of the end for me and Mary? 37 00:01:20,881 --> 00:01:23,648 No. No, not at all. 38 00:01:23,650 --> 00:01:26,451 Taking time apart is what healthy couples do. 39 00:01:26,453 --> 00:01:27,585 That's why you two have never done it. 40 00:01:29,456 --> 00:01:30,923 [mumbles] But, Nina! 41 00:01:30,925 --> 00:01:32,857 ♪♪ [theme] 42 00:02:09,096 --> 00:02:10,762 So, Dick, what are you and Albright doin' tonight? 43 00:02:10,764 --> 00:02:12,430 What all healthy couples are doing. 44 00:02:12,432 --> 00:02:14,399 Spending time apart. 45 00:02:16,069 --> 00:02:18,069 Harry! You're soaking! 46 00:02:18,071 --> 00:02:20,472 I went for a walk and got caught in the rain, 47 00:02:20,474 --> 00:02:23,208 and so I called 911. 48 00:02:23,210 --> 00:02:25,077 Don gave me a ride home. 49 00:02:25,079 --> 00:02:27,779 I was glad to do it, but when I file my paperwork, 50 00:02:27,781 --> 00:02:30,849 you're a runaway girl who turned her life around 51 00:02:30,851 --> 00:02:33,818 after some straight talk from a caring cop. 52 00:02:35,288 --> 00:02:38,389 That's actually closer than you might think. 53 00:02:38,391 --> 00:02:39,524 Well, see you later, Sally. 54 00:02:39,526 --> 00:02:40,725 Bye, hon. 55 00:02:40,727 --> 00:02:42,027 Harry! 56 00:02:43,296 --> 00:02:47,465 You went walking in the rain in my new suede jacket? 57 00:02:47,467 --> 00:02:50,302 Well, the guy on Channel 10 said it was gonna be sunny, 58 00:02:50,304 --> 00:02:53,905 and I'm experimenting with the buttons on the other side. 59 00:02:53,907 --> 00:02:55,173 You jackass! 60 00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:58,610 Those idiots on TV can't predict the weather! 61 00:02:58,612 --> 00:03:02,080 But they are very good with the lotto numbers. 62 00:03:02,082 --> 00:03:06,385 Dick, this coat cost me 400 bucks. 63 00:03:06,387 --> 00:03:08,520 We're goin' down there. Someone's payin' for it. 64 00:03:08,522 --> 00:03:11,189 Well, if you can that, then I'll go halvsies on your new blouse, 65 00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:13,992 'cause that ran like a son of a gun. 66 00:03:21,902 --> 00:03:23,268 Wow! 67 00:03:23,270 --> 00:03:25,537 The Channel 10 news set. 68 00:03:25,539 --> 00:03:28,073 This is almost like bein' there. 69 00:03:28,075 --> 00:03:30,541 Harry, we are there. 70 00:03:30,543 --> 00:03:32,878 Well, in that case, I'm a little disappointed . 71 00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:35,347 What can we do for you folks? 72 00:03:35,349 --> 00:03:37,316 Are you the idiot who does the weather? 73 00:03:37,318 --> 00:03:40,485 No. He's the idiot who does the news. 74 00:03:40,487 --> 00:03:42,820 Wait a second. I know you. 75 00:03:42,822 --> 00:03:44,256 You're, uh...you're... 76 00:03:44,258 --> 00:03:46,691 I'm Chaz Montana. 77 00:03:48,762 --> 00:03:51,229 No, that's not it. 78 00:03:51,231 --> 00:03:52,764 Give me a minute. 79 00:03:52,766 --> 00:03:55,300 Chaz Montana? That's your real name? 80 00:03:56,369 --> 00:03:57,435 Yes. 81 00:03:57,437 --> 00:03:58,437 Okay. 82 00:03:58,439 --> 00:04:00,305 Look, Montana, 83 00:04:00,307 --> 00:04:02,341 you dopes predicted clear skies, 84 00:04:02,343 --> 00:04:04,375 and my brother here got caught in a downpour. 85 00:04:04,377 --> 00:04:06,978 Hey! Were you in Flashdance? 86 00:04:06,980 --> 00:04:08,946 Whatever. 87 00:04:08,948 --> 00:04:10,648 Look, your stupid forecast 88 00:04:10,650 --> 00:04:13,084 ruined the best jacket I ever owned! 89 00:04:13,086 --> 00:04:15,186 Miss, we don't have a big weather budget 90 00:04:15,188 --> 00:04:16,554 like the other stations. 91 00:04:16,556 --> 00:04:18,023 We just pull our forecasts off the internet. 92 00:04:18,025 --> 00:04:19,657 It's really cool. You just type in your zip code-- 93 00:04:19,659 --> 00:04:21,393 Save it! Right. 94 00:04:22,662 --> 00:04:24,062 Look at that satellite photo. 95 00:04:24,064 --> 00:04:26,297 Any idiot knows that an occluded front 96 00:04:26,299 --> 00:04:27,599 hovering over the Twin Counties 97 00:04:27,601 --> 00:04:29,167 will not generate precipitation, 98 00:04:29,169 --> 00:04:30,902 provided that the dew point doesn't spike. 99 00:04:30,904 --> 00:04:32,604 But look, it's spiking. 100 00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:35,373 How do you know that? 101 00:04:35,375 --> 00:04:36,674 Oh, I'm trained to know that. 102 00:04:36,676 --> 00:04:38,042 You can jeopardize your own security 103 00:04:38,044 --> 00:04:41,579 by not being constantly aware of atmospheric conditions. 104 00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:45,050 I totally agree. 105 00:04:45,052 --> 00:04:47,419 No, not Flashdance. 106 00:04:47,421 --> 00:04:49,821 You were on the new Fame! 107 00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:53,925 All right, boys, here is how it's gonna go down, all right? 108 00:04:53,927 --> 00:04:56,795 Either I get paid in full for my jacket, 109 00:04:56,797 --> 00:04:59,531 or I am walking out of here with that Action News desk. 110 00:04:59,533 --> 00:05:01,699 I got a better idea. 111 00:05:01,701 --> 00:05:04,336 You got more knowledge and training than anyone we have. 112 00:05:04,338 --> 00:05:07,038 How would you like to be our new weather girl? 113 00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:09,240 Me? 114 00:05:11,578 --> 00:05:14,146 On TV? Mm-hmm. 115 00:05:14,148 --> 00:05:16,148 Okay. 116 00:05:20,787 --> 00:05:22,621 Oh, Dick! I got a job! 117 00:05:22,623 --> 00:05:24,656 I'm the new weather girl down at Channel 10! 118 00:05:24,658 --> 00:05:25,891 Isn't that cool? 119 00:05:25,893 --> 00:05:27,759 Yeah. And I've got some news for you, too. 120 00:05:27,761 --> 00:05:31,363 This is guy night. So, ciao, chickie. 121 00:05:31,365 --> 00:05:33,065 Thanks for your support. 122 00:05:33,067 --> 00:05:35,033 Harry! 123 00:05:35,035 --> 00:05:37,001 Come on in here, will ya? 124 00:05:39,073 --> 00:05:41,406 Harry, this time apart from Mary 125 00:05:41,408 --> 00:05:43,508 is a great opportunity to hang out with you, 126 00:05:43,510 --> 00:05:45,110 like we used to. 127 00:05:45,112 --> 00:05:46,244 I don't remember that. 128 00:05:46,246 --> 00:05:48,080 Yeah... 129 00:05:48,082 --> 00:05:49,481 that's how much fun we had. 130 00:05:49,483 --> 00:05:51,282 Oh. Well, should I go get some beers? 131 00:05:51,284 --> 00:05:53,618 Ah, ah, ah, ah. No need. 132 00:05:53,620 --> 00:05:56,988 I've got a whole pitcher of mai tais... 133 00:05:56,990 --> 00:05:58,656 right here! 134 00:05:58,658 --> 00:05:59,724 Mary's favorite. 135 00:05:59,726 --> 00:06:02,527 Look. I've even got parasols. 136 00:06:02,529 --> 00:06:04,762 There you go! 137 00:06:04,764 --> 00:06:06,732 This is so cool. 138 00:06:06,734 --> 00:06:08,533 With Mary, it's all about candlelight. 139 00:06:08,535 --> 00:06:10,301 But not for us guys. 140 00:06:10,303 --> 00:06:11,969 That's why I got paper lanterns. 141 00:06:16,109 --> 00:06:18,043 You know, I'm good with the overheads. 142 00:06:18,045 --> 00:06:19,644 Harry... 143 00:06:19,646 --> 00:06:21,145 do you love jazz? 144 00:06:21,147 --> 00:06:24,182 Uh-- Soft, smooth guy jazz? 145 00:06:25,619 --> 00:06:27,418 Sit. Sit. ♪♪ [soft jazz] 146 00:06:27,420 --> 00:06:29,387 No, no, no, no! On the floor. 147 00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:30,421 Here. 148 00:06:30,423 --> 00:06:32,090 Under the quilt. 149 00:06:34,227 --> 00:06:36,194 Down the hatch, dude! 150 00:06:46,172 --> 00:06:48,740 This feels so right. 151 00:06:48,742 --> 00:06:49,841 You know... 152 00:06:49,843 --> 00:06:50,942 I'm startin' to think that... 153 00:06:50,944 --> 00:06:53,712 maybe we need a couple of days apart. 154 00:06:53,714 --> 00:06:55,246 No! Yeah! 155 00:06:55,248 --> 00:06:57,048 Hey, why don't you go play with your camera? 156 00:06:58,785 --> 00:07:00,885 I already broke it. 157 00:07:05,726 --> 00:07:07,225 Sally? 158 00:07:07,227 --> 00:07:10,061 There's the teeniest of warming trends on its way. 159 00:07:10,063 --> 00:07:13,131 But is it time to break out our cocoa butter and Espadrilles? 160 00:07:13,133 --> 00:07:16,835 Only I know for sure, because I'm Sally Storm. 161 00:07:16,837 --> 00:07:18,703 And we're clear. [bell rings] 162 00:07:18,705 --> 00:07:20,438 That was great! 163 00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:22,707 Now, the key to drawing in an audience 164 00:07:22,709 --> 00:07:25,543 is for you and Chaz to have that witty on-air banter. 165 00:07:25,545 --> 00:07:27,145 But it's gotta be genuine. The folks at home love it 166 00:07:27,147 --> 00:07:28,212 if you and I are really good buddies. 167 00:07:28,214 --> 00:07:31,283 Okay. Genuine buddy banter comin' up. 168 00:07:31,285 --> 00:07:34,986 In 5, 4, 3, 2... 169 00:07:34,988 --> 00:07:37,221 Here's Sally with the forecast. 170 00:07:37,223 --> 00:07:39,958 Thanks, Chazbo. Well, tomorrow, 171 00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:42,360 the temperatures will be in the low 50s, 172 00:07:42,362 --> 00:07:44,562 and we'll be goin' from freezy to breezy 173 00:07:44,564 --> 00:07:47,531 as this shift will bring about a slight bit of wind 174 00:07:47,533 --> 00:07:49,768 to the southwest quadrant of Rutherford. 175 00:07:49,770 --> 00:07:52,937 Actually, Chaz, it'll be more like a zephyr. 176 00:07:52,939 --> 00:07:55,106 Wow. So a little windy, huh, Sal? 177 00:07:55,108 --> 00:07:57,208 Oh, very windy, Chaz. 178 00:07:57,210 --> 00:07:59,277 So you'd better double-up on that glue you use 179 00:07:59,279 --> 00:08:00,611 to hold your wig in place. 180 00:08:04,050 --> 00:08:05,550 No...no it isn't. 181 00:08:08,655 --> 00:08:10,722 [telephone rings] 182 00:08:13,593 --> 00:08:14,626 Hello? 183 00:08:14,628 --> 00:08:16,528 Hello? Did you call? 184 00:08:16,530 --> 00:08:17,762 Because I was in the shower. 185 00:08:17,764 --> 00:08:19,864 I don't have a thing on. 186 00:08:23,070 --> 00:08:24,101 I didn't call. 187 00:08:24,103 --> 00:08:27,338 Are you sure? Because the phone rang. 188 00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:28,673 How are you? 189 00:08:28,675 --> 00:08:30,074 Dick! 190 00:08:30,076 --> 00:08:31,610 [sing-songing] Whatcha doin'? 191 00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:34,779 I'm watching a film. 192 00:08:34,781 --> 00:08:37,282 Oh! Is it a film that we saw together 193 00:08:37,284 --> 00:08:39,618 and you're watching it because it reminds you of me? 194 00:08:39,620 --> 00:08:43,688 If you must know, it's Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo. 195 00:08:46,993 --> 00:08:48,259 I'm hanging up now. 196 00:08:48,261 --> 00:08:51,028 No. No, no. Mary, wait. 197 00:08:51,030 --> 00:08:54,365 There's...there's something I have to ask you. 198 00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:55,566 Well, quickly! 199 00:08:55,568 --> 00:08:57,201 [sing-songing] Whatcha doin'? 200 00:09:00,106 --> 00:09:01,405 [sighs] 201 00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:07,144 [sighs] If only she looked at me 202 00:09:07,146 --> 00:09:10,615 the way she looked at Deuce Bigalow, male gigolo. 203 00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:18,356 [Sally, on TV] Welcome back. 204 00:09:18,358 --> 00:09:21,860 I'm Sally Storm, and this is the AccuWeather forecast. 205 00:09:21,862 --> 00:09:23,427 Sally! Lookin' good! 206 00:09:23,429 --> 00:09:26,230 So, Mr. Happy Sun will hit like a lead pipe 207 00:09:26,232 --> 00:09:28,532 on the soft cartilage of Rutherford's nose 208 00:09:28,534 --> 00:09:31,135 creating a 2.5 mile-per-hour breeze 209 00:09:31,137 --> 00:09:32,770 that'll travel down Elm Street, 210 00:09:32,772 --> 00:09:35,139 bank off City Hall, and dissipate into the park. 211 00:09:35,141 --> 00:09:36,741 Wait a minute. 212 00:09:36,743 --> 00:09:38,676 [Chaz] Are you sure you wanna be that specific, Sally? 213 00:09:38,678 --> 00:09:40,611 Well, was I right today, Chaz? 214 00:09:40,613 --> 00:09:43,348 Well, yes. You're always right, every forecast. 215 00:09:43,350 --> 00:09:45,483 No! 216 00:09:45,485 --> 00:09:47,385 I've never seen anyone predict the weather so accurately. 217 00:09:47,387 --> 00:09:50,454 And I've never seen a grown man throw up to keep his weight down, 218 00:09:50,456 --> 00:09:53,391 but it seems to be workin' for you, Chaz. 219 00:09:54,795 --> 00:09:56,394 [telephone rings] 220 00:09:59,566 --> 00:10:00,565 Hello? 221 00:10:00,567 --> 00:10:01,499 Hello, Mary? 222 00:10:02,769 --> 00:10:04,101 [sing-songing] Whatcha doin'? 223 00:10:10,143 --> 00:10:12,243 Sally. Hey. 224 00:10:12,245 --> 00:10:14,812 I saw your broadcast. We have to talk. 225 00:10:14,814 --> 00:10:17,648 Oh, I can't. I got to get these charts together for tomorrow night. 226 00:10:17,650 --> 00:10:18,783 Sally, it's over. 227 00:10:18,785 --> 00:10:20,351 What? Why? 228 00:10:20,353 --> 00:10:21,920 You're too accurate. 229 00:10:21,922 --> 00:10:23,455 They're gonna be onto us. 230 00:10:23,457 --> 00:10:25,022 Dick, I cannot quit. 231 00:10:25,024 --> 00:10:28,459 I have what we, in this business, call "heat." 232 00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:33,098 You'll feel heat when you're under the FBI's giant magnifying glass. 233 00:10:33,100 --> 00:10:35,533 That's right. They have one. 234 00:10:37,004 --> 00:10:39,537 You're just jealous 'cause you've never been on TV. 235 00:10:39,539 --> 00:10:40,972 Sally, maybe you've forgotten about 236 00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:43,775 The Dick Solomon Goodtime Hour. 237 00:10:43,777 --> 00:10:45,877 I have work to do, okay? 238 00:10:45,879 --> 00:10:47,479 Sally, you will not-- Oh, my God. 239 00:10:47,481 --> 00:10:49,781 What? Look at this. 240 00:10:49,783 --> 00:10:51,182 When this moist Gulf air 241 00:10:51,184 --> 00:10:53,150 collides with this Canadian cold front 242 00:10:53,152 --> 00:10:54,952 and this Alberta clipper has her way, 243 00:10:54,954 --> 00:10:57,822 a series of tornadoes will level... 244 00:10:57,824 --> 00:10:59,123 all of Rutherford. 245 00:10:59,125 --> 00:11:00,124 Ouch. 246 00:11:00,126 --> 00:11:01,559 I gotta warn 'em. 247 00:11:01,561 --> 00:11:04,796 No, you are a security officer first and a weather girl second! 248 00:11:04,798 --> 00:11:06,564 You cannot compromise this mission! 249 00:11:06,566 --> 00:11:08,399 No one else can predict these tornadoes. 250 00:11:08,401 --> 00:11:10,001 The other stations will get it all wrong. 251 00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:12,470 That's because the aliens who work on those stations 252 00:11:12,472 --> 00:11:14,739 are keeping their mouths shut! 253 00:11:17,210 --> 00:11:18,843 Dick, listen to me. 254 00:11:18,845 --> 00:11:20,978 At 9:05 tomorrow night, 255 00:11:20,980 --> 00:11:23,047 there will be a catastrophic weather event, 256 00:11:23,049 --> 00:11:24,482 and people will get hurt. 257 00:11:24,484 --> 00:11:27,852 You know we are forbidden to change the course of human events. 258 00:11:27,854 --> 00:11:29,487 Now, you will stand in front of those cameras, 259 00:11:29,489 --> 00:11:30,755 smile your biggest smile, 260 00:11:30,757 --> 00:11:33,590 and predict sunny skies and mild temperatures. 261 00:11:33,592 --> 00:11:35,359 Are you asking me to take a dive? 262 00:11:35,361 --> 00:11:37,161 I'm not asking, Lieutenant, I'm telling. 263 00:11:37,163 --> 00:11:38,195 It's an order. 264 00:11:45,438 --> 00:11:47,538 Okay, now that that's over, can we talk about Mary? 265 00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:49,708 'Cause I'm feeling kind of blue. 266 00:11:55,048 --> 00:11:57,014 Oh, wow! This is great, Dick! 267 00:11:57,016 --> 00:11:59,050 How did you find out that Pendleton had a bomb shelter? 268 00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:01,286 The same way I found out about the airport. 269 00:12:01,288 --> 00:12:04,488 Mary and I snuck in here for a "nooner." 270 00:12:04,490 --> 00:12:06,124 So, what are we supposed to do? 271 00:12:06,126 --> 00:12:07,358 Just come down here and live 272 00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:09,127 while the rest of Rutherford perishes? 273 00:12:09,129 --> 00:12:10,361 No, no, no. We'll invite people. 274 00:12:10,363 --> 00:12:11,629 We just have to convince them 275 00:12:11,631 --> 00:12:13,631 to spend a night in an abandoned bomb shelter 276 00:12:13,633 --> 00:12:15,133 without getting them all suspicious. 277 00:12:15,135 --> 00:12:17,802 Well, I mean, there's plenty of room. 278 00:12:17,804 --> 00:12:19,404 We can probably pack in, like, 20 people. 279 00:12:19,406 --> 00:12:21,972 Whoa, whoa, whoa. I do not want a sweat-fest. 280 00:12:21,974 --> 00:12:24,709 Yeah, that's a no-can-do, Harry. 281 00:12:24,711 --> 00:12:26,845 I tell you what. Let's all just choose one person. 282 00:12:26,847 --> 00:12:29,047 Yeah, yeah. Somebody with practical skills 283 00:12:29,049 --> 00:12:30,181 that we'll need to survive. 284 00:12:30,183 --> 00:12:31,516 Oh! How about the plumber? 285 00:12:31,518 --> 00:12:32,850 I don't know. We owe him money. 286 00:12:32,852 --> 00:12:34,919 What are we talking about? 287 00:12:34,921 --> 00:12:36,954 We need to save our loved ones. 288 00:12:36,956 --> 00:12:39,023 What about all that stuff you were talkin' about, 289 00:12:39,025 --> 00:12:41,459 about us not changing the course of human events? 290 00:12:41,461 --> 00:12:42,594 Oh, come on, Sally. 291 00:12:42,596 --> 00:12:44,362 Do you really think that saving Mary and Don 292 00:12:44,364 --> 00:12:45,630 will make a bean's worth of difference? 293 00:12:45,632 --> 00:12:46,830 Oh, yeah. Good point. 294 00:12:46,832 --> 00:12:48,666 So, Har, who you bringing? 295 00:12:48,668 --> 00:12:49,733 Me? Uh-huh. 296 00:12:49,735 --> 00:12:52,270 Oh! Well, I'm bringin'... 297 00:12:52,272 --> 00:12:54,938 Flimfy Jorgensen. 298 00:12:54,940 --> 00:12:57,308 Because everything that Flimfy does... 299 00:12:57,310 --> 00:13:00,512 is just spanky-doodle-doo. 300 00:13:07,387 --> 00:13:08,820 What are you doing here? 301 00:13:08,822 --> 00:13:11,456 Why do you refuse to respect my wishes? 302 00:13:11,458 --> 00:13:14,258 Mary, prepare yourself for an evening 303 00:13:14,260 --> 00:13:19,063 of passion, romance, and dried beef as tender as the night. 304 00:13:19,065 --> 00:13:21,698 I have plans. I'm going to the movies with Nina. 305 00:13:21,700 --> 00:13:23,300 Tell her we'll bring her along... 306 00:13:23,302 --> 00:13:27,005 and then we'll "accidentally" forget to pick her up. 307 00:13:27,007 --> 00:13:28,673 Yeah, okay, just give me a minute. 308 00:13:28,675 --> 00:13:29,908 I just want to check my door. 309 00:13:29,910 --> 00:13:31,642 Tell me if it makes a loud bang. 310 00:13:35,181 --> 00:13:37,481 [sing-songing] It does! 311 00:13:40,620 --> 00:13:42,120 On a lighter note, 312 00:13:42,122 --> 00:13:44,322 the fairgrounds welcomed Big Bessie, 313 00:13:44,324 --> 00:13:47,225 a Guernsey from Toledo who captured the blue ribbon 314 00:13:47,227 --> 00:13:50,128 tipping the scales at 1,200 pounds. 315 00:13:50,130 --> 00:13:51,963 Ooh! 316 00:13:51,965 --> 00:13:54,599 That is one fat cow. 317 00:13:54,601 --> 00:13:59,837 But not as fat as the one grazing at your apartment, right, Chaz? 318 00:13:59,839 --> 00:14:01,939 I--I never said my mom was fat. 319 00:14:01,941 --> 00:14:04,008 [laughs] Playful minx! 320 00:14:04,010 --> 00:14:07,345 Okay, and now for tonight's forecast. 321 00:14:07,347 --> 00:14:11,715 It'll be clear and mild, with winds... 322 00:14:11,717 --> 00:14:13,751 I mean, no winds. No winds. 323 00:14:13,753 --> 00:14:16,720 Uh, calm. Dead calm. 324 00:14:16,722 --> 00:14:19,524 Well, that's good news for the hundreds of citizens 325 00:14:19,526 --> 00:14:20,924 who'll be gathering down at the pier 326 00:14:20,926 --> 00:14:24,595 to celebrate the renovation of old downtown. 327 00:14:24,597 --> 00:14:26,197 Hundreds? Yeah. 328 00:14:26,199 --> 00:14:29,600 Well, perhaps all of those citizens gathering at the pier 329 00:14:29,602 --> 00:14:32,136 should bring, uh, inflatable pillows. 330 00:14:32,138 --> 00:14:37,141 Uh, big ones that they can perhaps use as flotation devices. 331 00:14:37,143 --> 00:14:39,877 Inflatable pillows? That's kind of an odd thought. 332 00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:41,412 Well, not so odd, Chaz. 333 00:14:41,414 --> 00:14:43,214 You have one in your dressing room shaped like a girl. 334 00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:45,449 I've heard you talking to it. 335 00:14:46,752 --> 00:14:48,486 Okay, that's a big fat lie! 336 00:14:48,488 --> 00:14:49,620 All right, then. 337 00:14:49,622 --> 00:14:50,954 Have a great tomorrow... 338 00:14:50,956 --> 00:14:52,857 because Sally says so. [breaks pencil] 339 00:14:52,859 --> 00:14:54,391 And we're clear! [bell rings] 340 00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:00,631 Okay, Sally. When you started here, 341 00:15:00,633 --> 00:15:01,732 I liked you. Okay? 342 00:15:01,734 --> 00:15:03,501 I was actually even thinking of asking you out. 343 00:15:03,503 --> 00:15:05,069 But you blew it, baby. 344 00:15:05,071 --> 00:15:06,670 Did I do something wrong, Chaz? 345 00:15:06,672 --> 00:15:07,872 Okay. You know what? 346 00:15:07,874 --> 00:15:10,007 The coy little I-just- popped-out-of-an-egg routine 347 00:15:10,009 --> 00:15:11,542 might've worked before. But, no. 348 00:15:11,544 --> 00:15:13,611 Now I know you are a self-concerned, 349 00:15:13,613 --> 00:15:15,813 arrogant, castrating person. 350 00:15:17,116 --> 00:15:18,049 Ouch. Yeah. 351 00:15:19,886 --> 00:15:20,818 Chaz! 352 00:15:21,887 --> 00:15:23,887 Let me make it up to ya. 353 00:15:23,889 --> 00:15:25,656 Whaddaya say you and I go out tonight? 354 00:15:25,658 --> 00:15:27,258 Just, you know... together. 355 00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:28,760 We could meet at the pier. 356 00:15:28,762 --> 00:15:30,428 What do you have in mind? 357 00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:32,729 Well, I thought perhaps we could play a little game 358 00:15:32,731 --> 00:15:34,465 called...Twister. 359 00:15:35,802 --> 00:15:36,900 Oh. 360 00:15:38,037 --> 00:15:40,638 Well, then I'd better do some stretches. 361 00:15:45,745 --> 00:15:47,111 So, you're having a party? 362 00:15:47,113 --> 00:15:48,613 Well, it's actually more of a gathering. 363 00:15:48,615 --> 00:15:50,981 You know, just us and some loved ones. 364 00:15:50,983 --> 00:15:52,517 You know, my sister's Sally Storm. 365 00:15:52,519 --> 00:15:54,652 The weather girl who's always right? 366 00:15:54,654 --> 00:15:56,787 Well, she's not always right. 367 00:15:56,789 --> 00:15:58,289 She didn't predict that I'd be meetin' 368 00:15:58,291 --> 00:15:59,923 a sweet little angel like yourself. 369 00:16:01,461 --> 00:16:02,593 Hey, you wanna come? 370 00:16:02,595 --> 00:16:04,061 I get off at 8. 371 00:16:04,063 --> 00:16:06,930 No, no. The party's at 8. 372 00:16:06,932 --> 00:16:08,466 You'll get off at 9. 373 00:16:11,171 --> 00:16:12,470 You know somethin'? 374 00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:14,138 I like you so much, 375 00:16:14,140 --> 00:16:15,939 I'm gonna pay for these steaks. 376 00:16:22,114 --> 00:16:24,248 Thank God you're still here. I need your help. 377 00:16:24,250 --> 00:16:25,616 I'm off the clock, and I'm going to the movies. 378 00:16:25,618 --> 00:16:27,251 With Mary. I know. 379 00:16:27,253 --> 00:16:29,153 But there's something more important that you have to do. 380 00:16:29,155 --> 00:16:31,188 Nina, you do care about 381 00:16:31,190 --> 00:16:33,424 Dr. Albright's health and well-being, don't you? 382 00:16:33,426 --> 00:16:34,659 Yes, I care! 383 00:16:34,661 --> 00:16:36,727 Then you need to bring her to a place tonight, 384 00:16:36,729 --> 00:16:38,029 where we'll all be together. 385 00:16:38,031 --> 00:16:39,964 And our love will help us deal with this 386 00:16:39,966 --> 00:16:41,532 inevitable disaster. 387 00:16:41,534 --> 00:16:43,067 Oh, my God. 388 00:16:43,069 --> 00:16:45,703 Are you talking about an intervention? 389 00:16:45,705 --> 00:16:48,806 Uh, well...I, uh... 390 00:16:48,808 --> 00:16:50,307 Yes, Nina. 391 00:16:50,309 --> 00:16:51,876 It's an intervention. 392 00:16:51,878 --> 00:16:54,678 I know how Dr. Albright likes to drink, 393 00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:56,547 but I didn't think it had gotten this bad. 394 00:16:58,618 --> 00:16:59,783 It has. 395 00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:04,822 You know, my clergyman has a special room at the family center-- 396 00:17:04,824 --> 00:17:06,757 And I'm sure it's lovely. But for our purposes, 397 00:17:06,759 --> 00:17:08,759 we'll meet at an abandoned bomb shelter 398 00:17:08,761 --> 00:17:10,261 behind the Poly Sci building. 399 00:17:10,263 --> 00:17:12,330 How am I supposed to get her to go down there? 400 00:17:12,332 --> 00:17:14,097 [stammering] Well... 401 00:17:14,099 --> 00:17:17,401 tell her...that it's the grand opening of a new discothèque. 402 00:17:17,403 --> 00:17:20,204 and the free shooters and hot wings stop at 9:00 sharp. 403 00:17:20,206 --> 00:17:22,206 Gotcha. You got it. 9:00. Remember. 404 00:17:22,208 --> 00:17:23,807 9:00. Sharp, Nina! 405 00:17:26,646 --> 00:17:28,545 Water. Batteries. 406 00:17:28,547 --> 00:17:29,580 Cat food? 407 00:17:30,850 --> 00:17:32,183 I'm not eating cat food. 408 00:17:32,185 --> 00:17:36,154 Well, I knew you'd be all stuck up about it, Dick! 409 00:17:36,156 --> 00:17:38,923 So I got ya Fancy Feast. Oh. 410 00:17:38,925 --> 00:17:40,925 Thank goodness. 411 00:17:40,927 --> 00:17:41,926 Dick! Mary! 412 00:17:41,928 --> 00:17:43,561 Hey, Sally! What's goin' on? 413 00:17:43,563 --> 00:17:44,995 Yeah! What the hell is going on? 414 00:17:44,997 --> 00:17:46,997 Well...wait till we're all settled, Mary, 415 00:17:46,999 --> 00:17:48,733 and then I'll explain. 416 00:17:48,735 --> 00:17:50,568 Are any of her relatives coming? 417 00:17:50,570 --> 00:17:53,003 No. I hate them. 418 00:17:53,005 --> 00:17:54,805 Sorry! I'm sorry I'm late. 419 00:17:54,807 --> 00:17:57,508 I had no idea there was really a bomb shelter here. 420 00:17:57,510 --> 00:17:59,110 Yes, sweetheart. It was build during 421 00:17:59,112 --> 00:18:01,345 the Cuban Missile Crisis. Now, who the hell are you? 422 00:18:01,347 --> 00:18:04,649 Oh. I'm Sheryl from the market. Harry invited me. 423 00:18:04,651 --> 00:18:07,952 Oh, how nice of him, considering he'll have to give you half his rations. 424 00:18:07,954 --> 00:18:10,220 She will have the kibble. I will have the bits. 425 00:18:11,657 --> 00:18:14,658 Hey. All right. You're Sally Storm from TV. 426 00:18:14,660 --> 00:18:18,262 Yeah, that's me. Be cool. Stay in school. 427 00:18:18,264 --> 00:18:19,864 Now, um... 428 00:18:19,866 --> 00:18:22,366 I suppose you'd all like to know 429 00:18:22,368 --> 00:18:23,533 why you're here. 430 00:18:24,737 --> 00:18:27,004 Yeah. Dr. Albright. 431 00:18:27,006 --> 00:18:29,540 Please know that none of us are here to judge you. 432 00:18:32,178 --> 00:18:33,210 Why would you be? 433 00:18:33,212 --> 00:18:35,012 What you have is a disease. 434 00:18:36,382 --> 00:18:37,681 You do? 435 00:18:37,683 --> 00:18:39,016 Well, could we crack a window? 436 00:18:39,018 --> 00:18:41,485 I got Jimmy Buffett tickets next Tuesday. 437 00:18:41,487 --> 00:18:43,453 I'm talking about her drinking. 438 00:18:43,455 --> 00:18:44,622 My drinking?! 439 00:18:44,624 --> 00:18:46,056 [Stammering] Now, just hang on-- 440 00:18:46,058 --> 00:18:47,558 Hey, I thought you looked familiar! 441 00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:49,259 I know you from the supermarket. 442 00:18:49,261 --> 00:18:51,195 You're the white zinfandel lady. 443 00:18:54,166 --> 00:18:55,566 They-- They call me that? 444 00:18:55,568 --> 00:18:57,834 Let me tell you somethin', Albright. 445 00:18:57,836 --> 00:19:00,037 Your drinkin' doesn't just hurt you. 446 00:19:00,039 --> 00:19:01,639 It hurts everyone around you. 447 00:19:01,641 --> 00:19:03,141 Will you shut up?! 448 00:19:03,143 --> 00:19:05,542 I do not have a drinking problem! 449 00:19:05,544 --> 00:19:07,444 Oh, Dick, it's time! 450 00:19:07,446 --> 00:19:10,348 Hit the dirty, Mary! Everybody, duck and cover! 451 00:19:15,655 --> 00:19:16,887 I don't hear anything. 452 00:19:16,889 --> 00:19:18,655 All right. Let's check it out. 453 00:19:18,657 --> 00:19:20,557 Everybody, just stay where you are! 454 00:19:20,559 --> 00:19:21,491 Careful! 455 00:19:23,629 --> 00:19:25,429 There's no tornado. 456 00:19:25,431 --> 00:19:27,998 No wind. Not even a cloud in the sky! 457 00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:29,499 There has to be, unless you-- 458 00:19:32,004 --> 00:19:33,804 Unless you were wrong. 459 00:19:35,741 --> 00:19:37,841 Oh, no... 460 00:19:39,011 --> 00:19:42,646 I gotta go push Chaz off the pier myself. 461 00:19:46,852 --> 00:19:48,352 I don't know how this happened. 462 00:19:48,354 --> 00:19:50,187 I start my weekend, 463 00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:52,390 determined to spend a little time away from you, 464 00:19:52,392 --> 00:19:54,625 and I end up in a cinderblock cell 465 00:19:54,627 --> 00:19:56,960 with you and your entire family. 466 00:19:56,962 --> 00:19:58,261 I may have problems, 467 00:19:58,263 --> 00:20:01,431 but they have nothing to do with alcohol! 468 00:20:06,172 --> 00:20:08,639 Well done, people! She's completely recovered! 469 00:20:08,641 --> 00:20:10,440 Let's get out of here! 470 00:20:15,948 --> 00:20:17,114 Good job, Sally. 471 00:20:17,116 --> 00:20:19,349 Yeah. Really good job. 472 00:20:19,351 --> 00:20:21,585 I know. I already feel like an idiot. 473 00:20:21,587 --> 00:20:22,819 I just didn't factor in 474 00:20:22,821 --> 00:20:25,489 the single-band lake effect off Mikford Pond. 475 00:20:25,491 --> 00:20:27,992 Yeah. Loser! Oo-oo! Loser! Oo-oo! 476 00:20:29,762 --> 00:20:32,696 Yeah, so some things in life really are unpredictable. 477 00:20:32,698 --> 00:20:35,565 I mean, there are forces out there that are greater than humans. 478 00:20:35,567 --> 00:20:36,601 Even greater than us! 479 00:20:36,603 --> 00:20:39,604 Yep. Like elephants, garlic, and Slinkies. 480 00:20:41,641 --> 00:20:42,907 You know, Harry, you don't always 481 00:20:42,909 --> 00:20:44,976 have to join us out here on the roof. 482 00:20:44,978 --> 00:20:46,743 I'll tell you what's unpredictable. 483 00:20:46,745 --> 00:20:49,480 Mary wanted to take a break from me. 484 00:20:49,482 --> 00:20:51,816 And the fact is, something good actually came of it. 485 00:20:51,818 --> 00:20:54,518 So Mary's off the sauce, huh? Yeah. 486 00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:57,021 But when she's not drinking, she gets a little crabby, 487 00:20:57,023 --> 00:20:59,390 so I told her that I needed to take some time off. 488 00:20:59,392 --> 00:21:01,158 Hey, you know what? That's a good thing, 489 00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:02,125 because, you know... 490 00:21:05,998 --> 00:21:08,932 Closed-Captioned by J.R. Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA 37737

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