All language subtitles for 3rd Rock from the Sun - S06E12 - Dicks Ark (1080p x265 EDGE2020)_track3_[eng]

Mary!

Mary!

Let me take your picture
with my cool new camera!

Oh, no! Quit it!

I always look terrible
in those pictures.

But these are sticky!

Dick, I'm trying
to work here.

Why don't you take
your new toy outside?

Because you're in here!

Let's do the many moods
of Mary Albright.

Angry.

Angry.

Okay. That's enough angry.

Let's move on to impish.

This is really annoying
because you're not
listening to me.

But you're not
listening to me!

Where's impish?

You know what?

We are about to get
into a huge fight.

If that's the case,

I better put in
a new role of film.

I've got to get out of here.

All right.

So, are we on for tonight?

No. Um...

I--I think we should
just take the weekend off.

What?
Yeah, yeah.
This'll be great.

Um, let's just talk
in a couple of days,

and I'll have
some time to myself,

and you'll have some time
to break your new camera.

Mary...

Nina!

Did you hear
any of that?

Unfortunately, yes.

I couldn't find
my Walkman in time.

So, is this the beginning
of the end for me and Mary?

No.
No, not at all.

Taking time apart is
what healthy couples do.

That's why you two
have never done it.

[mumbles]
But, Nina!

♪♪ [theme]

So, Dick, what are
you and Albright
doin' tonight?

What all healthy couples
are doing.

Spending time apart.

Harry!
You're soaking!

I went for a walk and
got caught in the rain,

and so I called 911.

Don gave me a ride home.

I was glad to do it,
but when I file my paperwork,

you're a runaway girl
who turned her life around

after some straight talk
from a caring cop.

That's actually closer
than you might think.

Well, see you later,
Sally.

Bye, hon.

Harry!

You went walking in the rain
in my new suede jacket?

Well, the guy
on Channel 10 said it
was gonna be sunny,

and I'm experimenting
with the buttons
on the other side.

You jackass!

Those idiots on TV
can't predict the weather!

But they are very good
with the lotto numbers.

Dick, this coat
cost me 400 bucks.

We're goin' down there.
Someone's payin' for it.

Well, if you can that,
then I'll go halvsies
on your new blouse,

'cause that ran
like a son of a gun.

Wow!

The Channel 10
news set.

This is almost
like bein' there.

Harry, we are there.

Well, in that case,
I'm a little
disappointed .

What can we do
for you folks?

Are you the idiot
who does the weather?

No. He's the idiot
who does the news.

Wait a second.
I know you.

You're, uh...you're...

I'm Chaz Montana.

No, that's not it.

Give me a minute.

Chaz Montana?
That's your real name?

Yes.

Okay.

Look, Montana,

you dopes predicted
clear skies,

and my brother here got
caught in a downpour.

Hey! Were you
in Flashdance?

Whatever.

Look, your
stupid forecast

ruined the best jacket
I ever owned!

Miss, we don't have
a big weather budget

like the other
stations.

We just pull
our forecasts off
the internet.

It's really cool.
You just type in
your zip code--

Save it!
Right.

Look at that
satellite photo.

Any idiot knows that
an occluded front

hovering over
the Twin Counties

will not generate
precipitation,

provided that
the dew point doesn't spike.

But look,
it's spiking.

How do you know that?

Oh, I'm trained
to know that.

You can jeopardize
your own security

by not being constantly aware
of atmospheric conditions.

I totally agree.

No, not Flashdance.

You were on the new Fame!

All right, boys, here is how
it's gonna go down, all right?

Either I get paid in full
for my jacket,

or I am walking out of here
with that Action News desk.

I got a better idea.

You got more knowledge
and training than
anyone we have.

How would you like to be
our new weather girl?

Me?

On TV?
Mm-hmm.

Okay.

Oh, Dick!
I got a job!

I'm the new weather girl
down at Channel 10!

Isn't that cool?

Yeah. And I've got some
news for you, too.

This is guy night.
So, ciao, chickie.

Thanks for your support.

Harry!

Come on in here,
will ya?

Harry, this time
apart from Mary

is a great opportunity
to hang out with you,

like we used to.

I don't remember that.

Yeah...

that's how much
fun we had.

Oh. Well, should I
go get some beers?

Ah, ah, ah, ah.
No need.

I've got a whole pitcher
of mai tais...

right here!

Mary's favorite.

Look. I've even
got parasols.

There you go!

This is so cool.

With Mary, it's all
about candlelight.

But not for us guys.

That's why I got
paper lanterns.

You know, I'm good
with the overheads.

Harry...

do you love jazz?

Uh--
Soft, smooth guy jazz?

Sit. Sit.
♪♪ [soft jazz]

No, no, no, no!
On the floor.

Here.

Under the quilt.

Down the hatch, dude!

This feels so right.

You know...

I'm startin'
to think that...

maybe we need
a couple of days apart.

No!
Yeah!

Hey, why don't you go
play with your camera?

I already broke it.

Sally?

There's the teeniest
of warming trends
on its way.

But is it time to
break out our cocoa
butter and Espadrilles?

Only I know for sure,
because I'm Sally Storm.

And we're clear.
[bell rings]

That was great!

Now, the key to
drawing in an audience

is for you and Chaz to have
that witty on-air banter.

But it's gotta be genuine.
The folks at home love it

if you and I are
really good buddies.

Okay. Genuine
buddy banter comin' up.

In 5, 4, 3, 2...

Here's Sally
with the forecast.

Thanks, Chazbo.
Well, tomorrow,

the temperatures
will be in the low 50s,

and we'll be goin'
from freezy to breezy

as this shift
will bring about
a slight bit of wind

to the southwest
quadrant of Rutherford.

Actually, Chaz, it'll be
more like a zephyr.

Wow. So a little windy,
huh, Sal?

Oh, very windy, Chaz.

So you'd better double-up
on that glue you use

to hold your wig in place.

No...no it isn't.

[telephone rings]

Hello?

Hello? Did you call?

Because I was
in the shower.

I don't have a thing on.

I didn't call.

Are you sure?
Because the phone rang.

How are you?

Dick!

[sing-songing]
Whatcha doin'?

I'm watching a film.

Oh! Is it a film
that we saw together

and you're watching it
because it reminds
you of me?

If you must know,
it's Deuce Bigalow:
Male Gigolo.

I'm hanging up now.

No. No, no. Mary, wait.

There's...there's something
I have to ask you.

Well, quickly!

[sing-songing]
Whatcha doin'?

[sighs]

[sighs]
If only she looked at me

the way she looked at
Deuce Bigalow, male gigolo.

[Sally, on TV]
Welcome back.

I'm Sally Storm,
and this is the
AccuWeather forecast.

Sally! Lookin' good!

So, Mr. Happy Sun will
hit like a lead pipe

on the soft cartilage
of Rutherford's nose

creating a 2.5
mile-per-hour breeze

that'll travel
down Elm Street,

bank off City Hall,
and dissipate into the park.

Wait a minute.

[Chaz] Are you sure you wanna
be that specific, Sally?

Well, was I right
today, Chaz?

Well, yes.
You're always right,
every forecast.

No!

I've never seen anyone predict
the weather so accurately.

And I've never seen
a grown man throw up
to keep his weight down,

but it seems to be
workin' for you, Chaz.

[telephone rings]

Hello?

Hello, Mary?

[sing-songing]
Whatcha doin'?

Sally.
Hey.

I saw your broadcast.
We have to talk.

Oh, I can't. I got to get
these charts together
for tomorrow night.

Sally, it's over.

What? Why?

You're too accurate.

They're gonna be
onto us.

Dick, I cannot quit.

I have what we,
in this business,
call "heat."

You'll feel heat when
you're under the FBI's
giant magnifying glass.

That's right.
They have one.

You're just jealous
'cause you've never been on TV.

Sally, maybe you've
forgotten about

The Dick Solomon
Goodtime Hour.

I have work to do, okay?

Sally, you will not--
Oh, my God.

What?
Look at this.

When this moist Gulf air

collides with this
Canadian cold front

and this Alberta clipper
has her way,

a series of tornadoes
will level...

all of Rutherford.

Ouch.

I gotta warn 'em.

No, you are
a security officer first
and a weather girl second!

You cannot compromise
this mission!

No one else can predict
these tornadoes.

The other stations will
get it all wrong.

That's because the aliens
who work on those stations

are keeping
their mouths shut!

Dick, listen to me.

At 9:05 tomorrow night,

there will be
a catastrophic
weather event,

and people
will get hurt.

You know we are forbidden
to change the course
of human events.

Now, you will stand
in front of those cameras,

smile your biggest smile,

and predict sunny skies
and mild temperatures.

Are you asking me
to take a dive?

I'm not asking, Lieutenant,
I'm telling.

It's an order.

Okay, now that that's over,
can we talk about Mary?

'Cause I'm feeling
kind of blue.

Oh, wow!
This is great, Dick!

How did you find out
that Pendleton had
a bomb shelter?

The same way I found out
about the airport.

Mary and I snuck in here
for a "nooner."

So, what are we
supposed to do?

Just come down here
and live

while the rest of
Rutherford perishes?

No, no, no.
We'll invite people.

We just have
to convince them

to spend a night in
an abandoned bomb shelter

without getting them
all suspicious.

Well, I mean, there's
plenty of room.

We can probably pack in,
like, 20 people.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.
I do not want
a sweat-fest.

Yeah, that's
a no-can-do, Harry.

I tell you what.
Let's all just choose
one person.

Yeah, yeah. Somebody
with practical skills

that we'll need
to survive.

Oh! How about
the plumber?

I don't know.
We owe him money.

What are we talking about?

We need to save
our loved ones.

What about all that stuff
you were talkin' about,

about us not changing
the course of human events?

Oh, come on, Sally.

Do you really think
that saving Mary and Don

will make a bean's worth
of difference?

Oh, yeah.
Good point.

So, Har,
who you bringing?

Me?
Uh-huh.

Oh! Well,
I'm bringin'...

Flimfy Jorgensen.

Because everything
that Flimfy does...

is just
spanky-doodle-doo.

What are you doing here?

Why do you refuse
to respect my wishes?

Mary, prepare yourself
for an evening

of passion, romance,
and dried beef as
tender as the night.

I have plans. I'm going
to the movies with Nina.

Tell her we'll
bring her along...

and then we'll
"accidentally" forget
to pick her up.

Yeah, okay,
just give me a minute.

I just want to check my door.

Tell me if it makes
a loud bang.

[sing-songing]
It does!

On a lighter note,

the fairgrounds
welcomed Big Bessie,

a Guernsey from Toledo
who captured the blue ribbon

tipping the scales
at 1,200 pounds.

Ooh!

That is one fat cow.

But not as fat as
the one grazing at your
apartment, right, Chaz?

I--I never said
my mom was fat.

[laughs] Playful minx!

Okay, and now for
tonight's forecast.

It'll be clear and mild,
with winds...

I mean, no winds.
No winds.

Uh, calm. Dead calm.

Well, that's good news for
the hundreds of citizens

who'll be gathering
down at the pier

to celebrate the renovation
of old downtown.

Hundreds?
Yeah.

Well, perhaps
all of those citizens
gathering at the pier

should bring, uh,
inflatable pillows.

Uh, big ones that
they can perhaps use
as flotation devices.

Inflatable pillows?
That's kind of an odd thought.

Well, not so odd, Chaz.

You have one
in your dressing room
shaped like a girl.

I've heard you
talking to it.

Okay, that's
a big fat lie!

All right, then.

Have a great
tomorrow...

because Sally
says so.
[breaks pencil]

And we're clear!
[bell rings]

Okay, Sally.
When you started here,

I liked you. Okay?

I was actually even thinking
of asking you out.

But you blew it, baby.

Did I do something
wrong, Chaz?

Okay. You know what?

The coy little I-just-
popped-out-of-an-egg routine

might've worked before.
But, no.

Now I know you are
a self-concerned,

arrogant,
castrating person.

Ouch.
Yeah.

Chaz!

Let me make it up to ya.

Whaddaya say you and I
go out tonight?

Just, you know...
together.

We could meet
at the pier.

What do you have in mind?

Well, I thought perhaps
we could play a little game

called...Twister.

Oh.

Well, then I'd better
do some stretches.

So, you're having
a party?

Well, it's actually
more of a gathering.

You know, just us
and some loved ones.

You know, my sister's
Sally Storm.

The weather girl
who's always right?

Well, she's not
always right.

She didn't predict
that I'd be meetin'

a sweet little angel
like yourself.

Hey, you wanna come?

I get off at 8.

No, no. The party's at 8.

You'll get off at 9.

You know somethin'?

I like you so much,

I'm gonna pay
for these steaks.

Thank God you're still here.
I need your help.

I'm off the clock,
and I'm going
to the movies.

With Mary. I know.

But there's something
more important
that you have to do.

Nina, you do care about

Dr. Albright's health
and well-being, don't you?

Yes, I care!

Then you need to bring her
to a place tonight,

where we'll all
be together.

And our love will help us
deal with this

inevitable disaster.

Oh, my God.

Are you talking about
an intervention?

Uh, well...I, uh...

Yes, Nina.

It's an intervention.

I know how Dr. Albright
likes to drink,

but I didn't think
it had gotten this bad.

It has.

You know, my clergyman
has a special room
at the family center--

And I'm sure it's lovely.
But for our purposes,

we'll meet at an abandoned
bomb shelter

behind the Poly Sci building.

How am I supposed to
get her to go down there?

[stammering] Well...

tell her...that it's
the grand opening
of a new discothèque.

and the free shooters
and hot wings stop
at 9:00 sharp.

Gotcha.
You got it. 9:00. Remember.

9:00. Sharp, Nina!

Water. Batteries.

Cat food?

I'm not eating
cat food.

Well, I knew
you'd be all stuck up
about it, Dick!

So I got ya
Fancy Feast.
Oh.

Thank goodness.

Dick!
Mary!

Hey, Sally!
What's goin' on?

Yeah! What the hell
is going on?

Well...wait till we're
all settled, Mary,

and then I'll explain.

Are any of her
relatives coming?

No. I hate them.

Sorry! I'm sorry I'm late.

I had no idea there was
really a bomb shelter here.

Yes, sweetheart.
It was build during

the Cuban Missile Crisis.
Now, who the hell are you?

Oh. I'm Sheryl
from the market.
Harry invited me.

Oh, how nice of him,
considering he'll have
to give you half his rations.

She will have the kibble.
I will have the bits.

Hey. All right. You're
Sally Storm from TV.

Yeah, that's me.
Be cool. Stay in school.

Now, um...

I suppose you'd all
like to know

why you're here.

Yeah.
Dr. Albright.

Please know that none of us
are here to judge you.

Why would you be?

What you have
is a disease.

You do?

Well, could we crack
a window?

I got Jimmy Buffett tickets
next Tuesday.

I'm talking
about her drinking.

My drinking?!

[Stammering]
Now, just hang on--

Hey, I thought you
looked familiar!

I know you
from the supermarket.

You're the white
zinfandel lady.

They-- They call me that?

Let me tell you
somethin', Albright.

Your drinkin'
doesn't just hurt you.

It hurts everyone
around you.

Will you shut up?!

I do not have
a drinking problem!

Oh, Dick, it's time!

Hit the dirty, Mary!
Everybody,
duck and cover!

I don't hear anything.

All right.
Let's check it out.

Everybody, just
stay where you are!

Careful!

There's no tornado.

No wind. Not even
a cloud in the sky!

There has to be,
unless you--

Unless you were wrong.

Oh, no...

I gotta go push Chaz
off the pier myself.

I don't know
how this happened.

I start my weekend,

determined to spend
a little time away from you,

and I end up
in a cinderblock cell

with you and your
entire family.

I may have problems,

but they have nothing
to do with alcohol!

Well done, people!
She's completely recovered!

Let's get out of here!

Good job, Sally.

Yeah. Really
good job.

I know. I already
feel like an idiot.

I just didn't factor in

the single-band lake
effect off Mikford Pond.

Yeah. Loser! Oo-oo!
Loser! Oo-oo!

Yeah, so some things
in life really are
unpredictable.

I mean, there are forces
out there that are greater
than humans.

Even greater than us!

Yep. Like elephants,
garlic, and Slinkies.

You know, Harry,
you don't always

have to join us
out here on the roof.

I'll tell you
what's unpredictable.

Mary wanted to take
a break from me.

And the fact is, something
good actually came of it.

So Mary's off
the sauce, huh?
Yeah.

But when she's not drinking,
she gets a little crabby,

so I told her that I needed
to take some time off.

Hey, you know what?
That's a good thing,

because, you know...

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