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1
00:00:02,003 --> 00:00:03,335
Tommy: information
Officer's log:
2
00:00:03,337 --> 00:00:04,336
Last time on
3rd rock from the sun...
3
00:00:04,338 --> 00:00:05,337
As alissa was helping me
4
00:00:05,339 --> 00:00:07,005
Write my valedictorian speech,
5
00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:09,875
Sally misunderstood and thought
Alissa was breaking up with me.
6
00:00:09,877 --> 00:00:12,411
Just like sally to do
Something totally stupid.
7
00:00:12,413 --> 00:00:14,947
Listen, tommy's
Breaking up with you.
8
00:00:14,949 --> 00:00:17,349
The big giant head returned
To earth with vicki dubcek,
9
00:00:17,351 --> 00:00:18,951
His new wife and queen.
10
00:00:18,953 --> 00:00:20,652
But she was not happy
To find out
11
00:00:20,654 --> 00:00:23,622
About harry's
New relationship with janice.
12
00:00:23,624 --> 00:00:25,657
The queen...
13
00:00:25,659 --> 00:00:27,860
Is pissed.
14
00:00:27,862 --> 00:00:29,228
While that wasn't bad enough,
15
00:00:29,230 --> 00:00:31,829
The big giant head
Won't leave dick alone.
16
00:00:31,831 --> 00:00:33,165
It's really kinda creepy.
17
00:00:33,167 --> 00:00:34,666
We still don't know
What it's all about.
18
00:00:34,668 --> 00:00:36,535
Because I am...
19
00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:39,137
Your father.
20
00:01:17,378 --> 00:01:21,513
Sally, have you been
To my school lately?
21
00:01:21,515 --> 00:01:22,814
No!
22
00:01:22,816 --> 00:01:24,416
Oh--y--
23
00:01:24,418 --> 00:01:25,750
Yes, I was.
24
00:01:25,752 --> 00:01:27,653
I was there. Um...
25
00:01:27,655 --> 00:01:29,821
I broke up with
Alissa for you.
26
00:01:29,823 --> 00:01:31,223
Ah ha!
27
00:01:33,594 --> 00:01:35,794
Why...Would you do that?
28
00:01:35,796 --> 00:01:37,896
She was gonna
Dump you first.
29
00:01:37,898 --> 00:01:40,365
I didn't want to see
My baby get hurt.
30
00:01:40,367 --> 00:01:41,933
I am not your baby!
31
00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:43,602
I'm older than
All of you,
32
00:01:43,604 --> 00:01:47,005
And it's time you start
Treating me that way!
33
00:01:47,007 --> 00:01:49,741
Ok, well, now I know why
Alissa was gonna dump you.
34
00:01:49,743 --> 00:01:50,976
You're very moody.
35
00:01:50,978 --> 00:01:53,211
Sally! Harry!
36
00:01:53,213 --> 00:01:54,346
Tommy!
37
00:01:54,348 --> 00:01:55,680
I have some
Astounding news!
38
00:01:55,682 --> 00:01:57,082
What's goin' on, dick?
39
00:01:57,084 --> 00:01:58,649
You guys know the big
Giant head, right?
40
00:01:58,651 --> 00:01:59,684
Yeah.
Uh-huh.
41
00:01:59,686 --> 00:02:01,019
Well, you're not
Gonna believe this,
42
00:02:01,021 --> 00:02:03,822
But he's my--
He's my father!
43
00:02:03,824 --> 00:02:05,857
What?!
No way!
44
00:02:05,859 --> 00:02:07,592
That's just like
In star wars
45
00:02:07,594 --> 00:02:10,128
When luke skywalker finds out
That darth vader's his father!
46
00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:11,463
Oh, grow up, tommy.
47
00:02:11,465 --> 00:02:12,764
That was popular
Entertainment.
48
00:02:12,766 --> 00:02:15,267
This is real life!
49
00:02:15,269 --> 00:02:17,269
I knew it!
I knew it!
50
00:02:17,271 --> 00:02:19,104
That's why I wasn't
Made high commander.
51
00:02:19,106 --> 00:02:21,206
Daddy was playing
Favorites!
52
00:02:21,208 --> 00:02:23,608
Oh, I don't
Know what to do!
53
00:02:23,610 --> 00:02:25,310
I don't know
What to feel!
54
00:02:25,312 --> 00:02:26,645
Who am I?!
55
00:02:26,647 --> 00:02:28,446
Well, let me see...
56
00:02:28,448 --> 00:02:31,950
Your first name's
Dick...
57
00:02:31,952 --> 00:02:35,153
Your new last name
Is head...
58
00:02:39,226 --> 00:02:41,459
So I guess
That would make--
59
00:02:41,461 --> 00:02:42,861
Oh, my god.
60
00:02:45,966 --> 00:02:49,000
Are you sure this is what
Fathers and sons do?
61
00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:50,135
Yeah.
62
00:02:50,137 --> 00:02:51,169
Trust me.
63
00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:52,938
I saw it on
A kodak commercial.
64
00:02:54,641 --> 00:02:58,509
How long do we drag
Our strings in the water?
65
00:02:58,511 --> 00:03:01,980
I guess until somebody
Takes our picture...
66
00:03:01,982 --> 00:03:04,715
And then processes it
On kodak paper.
67
00:03:05,785 --> 00:03:08,453
Can I ask you
Something, sir?
68
00:03:08,455 --> 00:03:10,088
Well, sure, son.
69
00:03:10,090 --> 00:03:11,422
Why did you wait
Until now
70
00:03:11,424 --> 00:03:12,624
To tell me
You're my father?
71
00:03:12,626 --> 00:03:14,126
Well, I've been
Very busy!
72
00:03:15,629 --> 00:03:18,563
But now...I want to find
New meaning in my life.
73
00:03:18,565 --> 00:03:21,967
And please...
Call me dad.
74
00:03:21,969 --> 00:03:23,301
I couldn't do that,
75
00:03:23,303 --> 00:03:25,103
Not after eons
Of you being
76
00:03:25,105 --> 00:03:28,740
My unpredictable and
Domineering overlord.
77
00:03:28,742 --> 00:03:30,842
That's a short leap
To dad.
78
00:03:32,079 --> 00:03:34,679
There's something
Wrong with my string.
79
00:03:34,681 --> 00:03:35,981
It's a fish!
80
00:03:35,983 --> 00:03:37,148
Sir!
81
00:03:37,150 --> 00:03:38,283
Oh! Aah!
82
00:03:38,285 --> 00:03:39,284
You got a fish!
83
00:03:39,286 --> 00:03:40,285
Look out! Oh!
84
00:03:40,287 --> 00:03:41,486
I'll save you, sir!
85
00:03:41,488 --> 00:03:43,488
Just--throw it away!
86
00:03:43,490 --> 00:03:45,623
Get it out of here!
Oh! Oh! Oh!
87
00:03:47,528 --> 00:03:49,761
It's all right.
We're safe now.
88
00:03:49,763 --> 00:03:51,697
You were very brave,
Son.
89
00:03:51,699 --> 00:03:53,765
So were you, dad.
90
00:03:53,767 --> 00:03:55,200
You see!
91
00:03:55,202 --> 00:03:57,069
That wasn't hard,
Was it?
92
00:03:57,071 --> 00:03:58,870
I guess not...
93
00:03:58,872 --> 00:04:00,505
Dad.
94
00:04:00,507 --> 00:04:01,940
Pops.
95
00:04:01,942 --> 00:04:04,409
Old man.
96
00:04:04,411 --> 00:04:06,644
Geezer!
Bag of bones!
97
00:04:06,646 --> 00:04:08,312
Dad!
98
00:04:08,314 --> 00:04:10,282
Dad.
99
00:04:13,420 --> 00:04:15,387
The fish we got
In the market
100
00:04:15,389 --> 00:04:18,557
Have a lot less attitude
Than the ones in the lake.
101
00:04:18,559 --> 00:04:21,393
Nina, could you behead
And filet these for us?
102
00:04:21,395 --> 00:04:23,494
We're both starving.
103
00:04:23,496 --> 00:04:25,163
Oh, I'd be happy to!
104
00:04:25,165 --> 00:04:27,298
Would you like them
Grilled or sautéed?
105
00:04:27,300 --> 00:04:28,733
You are such
A sweetheart.
106
00:04:28,735 --> 00:04:30,168
[giggling]
107
00:04:35,509 --> 00:04:37,408
Isn't she great?
108
00:04:37,410 --> 00:04:39,510
Dick...I wanna know
Who you are,
109
00:04:39,512 --> 00:04:41,012
Who you surround
Yourself with.
110
00:04:41,014 --> 00:04:43,514
I think we should have
A big party tonight,
111
00:04:43,516 --> 00:04:46,050
And I want you to invite
That special young lady
Of yours.
112
00:04:46,052 --> 00:04:47,485
Tonight?
She can't come.
113
00:04:47,487 --> 00:04:48,520
Busy?
114
00:04:48,522 --> 00:04:50,355
No. She hates you.
115
00:04:52,426 --> 00:04:54,092
Oh, great.
116
00:04:54,094 --> 00:04:56,428
Now you two
Dress alike.
117
00:04:56,430 --> 00:04:58,764
Why don't you just
Get a room already?
118
00:04:58,766 --> 00:05:00,231
Mary, please
Don't be mad--
119
00:05:00,233 --> 00:05:02,233
Uh, dick, I'll
Take care of this.
120
00:05:02,235 --> 00:05:04,135
Mary, it seems
I've been ungentlemanly
121
00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:05,136
Toward you.
122
00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:07,105
You? No!
123
00:05:07,107 --> 00:05:09,440
I love it when
You pinch my ass!
124
00:05:09,442 --> 00:05:11,042
It's goofy fun!
125
00:05:11,044 --> 00:05:13,211
I deserve
That witty barb,
126
00:05:13,213 --> 00:05:15,213
But it would
Please me no end
127
00:05:15,215 --> 00:05:17,115
If you would join us
For dinner tonight.
128
00:05:17,117 --> 00:05:19,984
I could make amends.
We could start over.
129
00:05:19,986 --> 00:05:21,386
I don't know...
130
00:05:21,388 --> 00:05:23,054
Please, mary.
131
00:05:23,056 --> 00:05:25,123
Honor us with
Your presence.
132
00:05:25,125 --> 00:05:26,491
I...
133
00:05:26,493 --> 00:05:29,561
You...Look...
Lovely!
134
00:05:31,131 --> 00:05:32,096
Ok, I'll come!
135
00:05:37,805 --> 00:05:39,037
Alissa!
136
00:05:39,039 --> 00:05:40,038
Alissa!
137
00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:41,039
Girls: aah!
138
00:05:41,041 --> 00:05:42,040
Tommy!
139
00:05:42,042 --> 00:05:43,374
You've been avoiding me,
140
00:05:43,376 --> 00:05:46,244
But I deserve a chance to--
Man, this is really hot!
141
00:05:46,246 --> 00:05:47,345
Hey, solomon,
142
00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:49,247
Why don't you send
Your aunt down here
143
00:05:49,249 --> 00:05:51,116
To ogle us,
You horny geek!
144
00:05:51,118 --> 00:05:53,151
Oh, yeah? Well,
Why don't you
145
00:05:53,153 --> 00:05:56,387
Put some clothes on,
You...[weakly] Sexy mama!
146
00:05:56,389 --> 00:05:58,423
Tommy, will you
Please get lost?
147
00:05:58,425 --> 00:06:00,725
No. No. Just listen
To me for a second.
148
00:06:00,727 --> 00:06:02,861
I did not tell sally
To break up with you.
149
00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:04,362
Oh, really? So she just
Decided to come down here
150
00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:05,563
And do it on her own?
151
00:06:05,565 --> 00:06:07,165
Yes!
I don't need sally.
152
00:06:07,167 --> 00:06:08,366
Breaking up with you
153
00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:09,868
Is something
I will do myself.
154
00:06:09,870 --> 00:06:10,868
What?!
155
00:06:10,870 --> 00:06:12,404
When the time co--
If the time comes!
156
00:06:12,406 --> 00:06:15,039
Ok, you know what?
It is so over between us.
157
00:06:15,041 --> 00:06:17,041
And I'm giving you back
Everything you ever gave me!
158
00:06:17,043 --> 00:06:18,476
You--I--
159
00:06:18,478 --> 00:06:19,577
[whimpers]
160
00:06:19,579 --> 00:06:22,046
If only I'd given
Her that towel.
161
00:06:27,287 --> 00:06:30,021
So, mary, tell me
More about yourself.
162
00:06:30,023 --> 00:06:31,990
What do
Your parents do?
163
00:06:31,992 --> 00:06:34,359
Oh, you know.
They're just average retirees.
164
00:06:34,361 --> 00:06:36,027
Dad plays golf.
165
00:06:36,029 --> 00:06:38,864
Yeah. And her mom
Likes to get tanked
166
00:06:38,866 --> 00:06:40,732
And shoot at squirrels
From the garden window
167
00:06:40,734 --> 00:06:41,867
With a bb gun.
168
00:06:41,869 --> 00:06:44,002
You're just gonna
Love these people.
169
00:06:44,004 --> 00:06:45,036
Sally...
170
00:06:45,038 --> 00:06:46,872
We're running low
On the mini-quiche.
171
00:06:46,874 --> 00:06:48,373
Could you heat up
Another batch?
172
00:06:48,375 --> 00:06:50,408
Oh, that's nice.
173
00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:52,877
Order me around
In front of your father.
174
00:06:52,879 --> 00:06:54,879
But just you wait
Till daddy's gone.
175
00:06:54,881 --> 00:06:57,849
I'm gonna give you
The wedgie of a lifetime!
176
00:06:59,385 --> 00:07:00,752
I'm telling!
177
00:07:02,689 --> 00:07:04,055
Hey, everybody.
178
00:07:04,057 --> 00:07:05,056
Hey, citizens.
179
00:07:05,058 --> 00:07:06,390
Oh, hi!
180
00:07:06,392 --> 00:07:07,926
Hi, boyfriend.
181
00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:10,729
Hello,
My gentle giant.
182
00:07:10,731 --> 00:07:12,063
Hey, hon.
183
00:07:12,065 --> 00:07:13,397
Hey!
184
00:07:13,399 --> 00:07:14,766
I brought you
A little somethin'
185
00:07:14,768 --> 00:07:15,900
For after the meal.
186
00:07:15,902 --> 00:07:16,902
Oh, thanks.
187
00:07:16,904 --> 00:07:19,538
"People's exhibit b"?
188
00:07:19,540 --> 00:07:21,540
It came from
A bakery we raided
189
00:07:21,542 --> 00:07:23,408
That was a front
For a drug dealer.
190
00:07:23,410 --> 00:07:25,410
You might want
To scrape off
191
00:07:25,412 --> 00:07:28,613
The powdered sugar
Before you serve it.
192
00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:29,981
Hey, janice!
193
00:07:29,983 --> 00:07:31,316
Hey, vicki!
How are you?
194
00:07:31,318 --> 00:07:32,317
Good!
195
00:07:32,319 --> 00:07:33,918
You two know
Each other?
196
00:07:33,920 --> 00:07:35,920
Well, yeah. I met vicki
At the mall today.
197
00:07:35,922 --> 00:07:38,490
Well, what
A small world!
198
00:07:38,492 --> 00:07:40,458
You know, I wonder
Who else I know
199
00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:42,761
Knows someone I know
That I don't know
200
00:07:42,763 --> 00:07:44,763
Knows that person
I know.
201
00:07:44,765 --> 00:07:45,997
You know?
202
00:07:45,999 --> 00:07:47,265
Uh-huh...
203
00:07:47,267 --> 00:07:49,768
Hey, vicki, I have
An extra ticket
204
00:07:49,770 --> 00:07:51,269
To tommy's
Graduation.
205
00:07:51,271 --> 00:07:53,171
Please tell me
You'll come. Please!
206
00:07:53,173 --> 00:07:54,472
I don't know.
207
00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:56,074
Harry, isn't graduation
Sort of a family thing?
208
00:07:56,076 --> 00:07:58,309
Oh, come on.
Are you kiddin' me?
209
00:07:58,311 --> 00:07:59,978
Hearin' the names
Of 500 kids
210
00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:01,780
Read
In alphabetical order?
211
00:08:01,782 --> 00:08:04,215
That's not just fun
For family.
212
00:08:04,217 --> 00:08:06,250
That's fun for everyone!
213
00:08:06,252 --> 00:08:08,119
You are so cute.
214
00:08:08,121 --> 00:08:09,320
Mmm...
215
00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:13,391
Yes. And aren't you
Just the perfect couple?
216
00:08:18,398 --> 00:08:20,465
Ha ha. Hey.
You know what?
217
00:08:20,467 --> 00:08:22,467
If you come
To that graduation,
218
00:08:22,469 --> 00:08:24,935
I'm gonna
Take care of you.
219
00:08:24,937 --> 00:08:27,171
I'm gonna take care
Of you real good!
220
00:08:31,645 --> 00:08:34,245
[slurring] You're a lot nicer
Than I thought you were,
221
00:08:34,247 --> 00:08:36,314
Old stoney, old boy.
222
00:08:36,316 --> 00:08:38,315
You're too kind.
223
00:08:38,317 --> 00:08:41,185
Your friend dick...
224
00:08:41,187 --> 00:08:44,155
Is the kindest,
Most interesting man
225
00:08:44,157 --> 00:08:46,090
I have ever been with...
226
00:08:46,092 --> 00:08:47,692
And let me tell you,
227
00:08:47,694 --> 00:08:50,327
I have been
With a lot of men.
228
00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:54,598
A lot.
229
00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:57,134
Oh, really? Ahem.
How many?
230
00:08:57,136 --> 00:09:00,104
[drunkenly]
A lady never tells.
231
00:09:01,307 --> 00:09:02,707
More than 5?
232
00:09:02,709 --> 00:09:04,809
Easily.
233
00:09:04,811 --> 00:09:06,744
More than 40?
234
00:09:06,746 --> 00:09:08,546
No!
235
00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:10,315
Wait.
236
00:09:12,052 --> 00:09:13,718
Yeah!
237
00:09:18,391 --> 00:09:20,925
Ah. Thanks, dad.
238
00:09:20,927 --> 00:09:24,128
It's so nice to see you
And mary getting along.
239
00:09:24,130 --> 00:09:25,763
Isn't she wonderful?
240
00:09:25,765 --> 00:09:26,764
She certainly tries
241
00:09:26,766 --> 00:09:28,199
To give off
That impression.
242
00:09:28,201 --> 00:09:30,167
Yep. She's a keeper.
243
00:09:30,169 --> 00:09:32,403
Son, I...Want you
To break up with her.
244
00:09:32,405 --> 00:09:33,971
What?
245
00:09:33,973 --> 00:09:35,072
You heard me.
246
00:09:35,074 --> 00:09:36,440
But she's my girlfriend.
247
00:09:36,442 --> 00:09:38,576
She's a slut
And a boozer!
248
00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:40,078
2 qualities
I usually like
249
00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:42,113
In a woman.
250
00:09:42,115 --> 00:09:44,915
But that's not good
Enough for my son!
251
00:09:44,917 --> 00:09:47,084
I can't break up with mary.
I love her!
252
00:09:47,086 --> 00:09:48,486
Sorry, son.
My house, my rules.
253
00:09:48,488 --> 00:09:50,154
But this is
My house!
254
00:09:50,156 --> 00:09:52,990
Right. But your house
Is in my galaxy. I win.
255
00:09:52,992 --> 00:09:55,292
This is totally unfair!
256
00:09:55,294 --> 00:09:56,293
It may seem that way
Now,
257
00:09:56,295 --> 00:09:57,462
But in time,
You'll thank me!
258
00:09:57,464 --> 00:09:58,930
No way!
I'll never thank you!
259
00:09:58,932 --> 00:10:01,232
Not in a million years!
260
00:10:01,234 --> 00:10:02,833
You ungrateful brat!
261
00:10:02,835 --> 00:10:04,269
You're
On a time-out!
262
00:10:04,271 --> 00:10:05,536
Ohhh!
263
00:10:10,043 --> 00:10:12,810
"Dear dad,
By the time you read this,
264
00:10:12,812 --> 00:10:15,546
"I'll be halfway
To an undisclosed location
265
00:10:15,548 --> 00:10:19,450
That may or may not
Rhyme with fentucky."
266
00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:22,353
I hate you, I hate you,
I hate you.
267
00:10:22,355 --> 00:10:23,787
Love, dick.
268
00:10:25,025 --> 00:10:26,691
This oughta do it.
269
00:10:29,262 --> 00:10:30,261
Tommy!
270
00:10:30,263 --> 00:10:32,063
Where do you think
You're goin'?
271
00:10:32,065 --> 00:10:34,065
Dad said he didn't want me
Seeing mary anymore,
272
00:10:34,067 --> 00:10:35,366
So I'm running away
From home!
273
00:10:35,368 --> 00:10:36,367
You're what?
274
00:10:36,369 --> 00:10:37,902
Yeah. And I'm
Taking her with me!
275
00:10:37,904 --> 00:10:40,104
Does mary know
About this?
276
00:10:40,106 --> 00:10:41,840
Not exactly.
That reminds me--
277
00:10:41,842 --> 00:10:43,842
I forgot the blindfold
And the chloroform!
278
00:10:43,844 --> 00:10:46,344
Come on, dick!
279
00:10:46,346 --> 00:10:48,579
You can't run away!
Just stand up to the guy!
280
00:10:48,581 --> 00:10:49,847
He's just your father!
281
00:10:49,849 --> 00:10:51,783
Yeah, but fathers
Are supposed to be
282
00:10:51,785 --> 00:10:53,184
Looked up to
And revered!
283
00:10:53,186 --> 00:10:55,353
Plus, I don't want him
To give me the belt.
284
00:10:55,355 --> 00:10:57,322
What planet have you
Been living on
285
00:10:57,324 --> 00:10:58,389
For the last 5 years?
286
00:10:58,391 --> 00:11:00,191
Kids here don't revere
Their parents.
287
00:11:00,193 --> 00:11:01,926
They disrespect
The hell out of them!
288
00:11:01,928 --> 00:11:04,062
Are you sure?
289
00:11:04,064 --> 00:11:06,164
Yes. Trust me.
This is my area.
290
00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:08,800
I know about
Disrespecting fathers.
291
00:11:08,802 --> 00:11:09,801
That's right.
292
00:11:09,803 --> 00:11:11,202
You always make me
Feel like crap.
293
00:11:11,204 --> 00:11:13,004
See that?
294
00:11:13,006 --> 00:11:14,839
Oh...
295
00:11:14,841 --> 00:11:16,540
Gee, thanks, tommy.
296
00:11:16,542 --> 00:11:19,176
I don't know what
I'd do without you.
297
00:11:19,178 --> 00:11:21,512
I probably don't say
This often enough,
298
00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:23,347
But...
I love you, son.
299
00:11:23,349 --> 00:11:25,016
Shut up!
300
00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:27,318
Jeez, you are good!
301
00:11:33,260 --> 00:11:35,893
No, you are in 24-e,
Janice.
302
00:11:35,895 --> 00:11:37,895
Ok? You go right on
Down there.
303
00:11:37,897 --> 00:11:39,564
Ok. And I'm right here.
304
00:11:39,566 --> 00:11:41,766
Janice, you want
To sit here?
305
00:11:41,768 --> 00:11:44,402
No! Her ticket
Says 24-e,
306
00:11:44,404 --> 00:11:46,904
And she will sit
In 24-e!
307
00:11:48,074 --> 00:11:50,909
I'm gonna get
Some programs.
308
00:11:50,911 --> 00:11:54,812
I cannot believe that dick
Got to be high commander.
309
00:11:54,814 --> 00:11:57,982
Why couldn't I have been
The big giant head's son?
310
00:11:57,984 --> 00:11:59,384
Yeah, well,
I don't have
311
00:11:59,386 --> 00:12:00,551
A mother
Or a father,
312
00:12:00,553 --> 00:12:03,121
And I got a great
Job on this mission.
313
00:12:03,123 --> 00:12:05,924
Harry, you're
The freakin' radio!
314
00:12:08,528 --> 00:12:09,928
Sure, pick
On the orphan.
315
00:12:09,930 --> 00:12:11,061
Yeah, yeah.
316
00:12:11,063 --> 00:12:13,397
Look, maybe he made dick
The high commander
317
00:12:13,399 --> 00:12:14,732
Because you're the best
Security officer
318
00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:15,800
There is.
319
00:12:15,802 --> 00:12:17,335
Damn right I am.
320
00:12:17,337 --> 00:12:20,704
I mean, who else but me
Would be able to figure out
321
00:12:20,706 --> 00:12:23,207
That vicki is under
The bleachers right now
322
00:12:23,209 --> 00:12:25,543
Preparing
To vaporize janice?
323
00:12:25,545 --> 00:12:26,710
Mmm.
324
00:12:26,712 --> 00:12:28,579
See? Yeah,
You're a natural.
325
00:12:28,581 --> 00:12:30,748
I wish I was smart
Enough to figure out
326
00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:32,249
That vicki's
Down there
327
00:12:32,251 --> 00:12:33,450
Tryin'
To kill janice.
328
00:12:33,452 --> 00:12:35,452
Well, you're not
Smart enough, my friend.
329
00:12:35,454 --> 00:12:36,453
Yep. I wish I was.
330
00:12:36,455 --> 00:12:38,255
I know you do,
Sweetie, but...
331
00:12:39,358 --> 00:12:40,424
Oh, my god!
332
00:12:40,426 --> 00:12:42,460
Excuse me, pardon me,
Excuse me!
333
00:12:44,130 --> 00:12:45,396
Ah!
334
00:12:47,133 --> 00:12:48,232
Hi, janice.
335
00:12:49,702 --> 00:12:51,102
[whispering]
Alissa!
336
00:12:51,104 --> 00:12:55,974
Alissa!
337
00:12:55,976 --> 00:12:58,109
Hey, um, could you
Pass this message
338
00:12:58,111 --> 00:12:59,344
Down to alissa?
339
00:12:59,346 --> 00:13:01,745
Tell her that I'm
Sorry she was hurt,
340
00:13:01,747 --> 00:13:04,282
But I never told my aunt
To break up with her
341
00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:06,384
And that sally will
Never go near her again.
342
00:13:06,386 --> 00:13:08,453
Ok? Pass that down.
343
00:13:08,455 --> 00:13:10,588
[whispering]
344
00:13:19,599 --> 00:13:21,332
Hey, alissa,
Tommy says
345
00:13:21,334 --> 00:13:22,666
If you ever come
Near him again,
346
00:13:22,668 --> 00:13:23,968
His aunt sally
Will hurt you.
347
00:13:26,706 --> 00:13:28,840
Tell tommy
"Screw you."
348
00:13:37,283 --> 00:13:39,383
Alissa says
"Screw you."
349
00:13:40,519 --> 00:13:43,087
There you are!
350
00:13:43,089 --> 00:13:45,622
Nice calves!
351
00:13:45,624 --> 00:13:47,525
Bye-bye, pretty girl!
352
00:13:47,527 --> 00:13:49,527
Don't even try it,
Sister.
353
00:13:49,529 --> 00:13:52,129
Oh, yeah? And who's
Gonna stop me?
354
00:13:52,131 --> 00:13:53,664
Me.
355
00:13:54,768 --> 00:13:56,200
And this...
356
00:13:56,202 --> 00:13:58,168
This big unicorn
357
00:13:58,170 --> 00:14:00,204
Ice cube!
358
00:14:07,147 --> 00:14:09,847
You melted my unicorn,
You bitch!
359
00:14:11,117 --> 00:14:13,517
Yeah. And you know what?
360
00:14:13,519 --> 00:14:15,653
You're next!
361
00:14:15,655 --> 00:14:17,255
Not so fast!
362
00:14:18,491 --> 00:14:19,857
Huah! Huah! Huah!
363
00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:21,358
Huah! Huah! Huah!
364
00:14:23,596 --> 00:14:25,629
I am your queen,
365
00:14:25,631 --> 00:14:28,666
And you will
Bow to me!
366
00:14:28,668 --> 00:14:30,001
Lower.
367
00:14:30,003 --> 00:14:31,235
Sorry, master.
368
00:14:31,237 --> 00:14:32,836
Lower!
I...Can't--
369
00:14:32,838 --> 00:14:34,038
Lower!
Yeah, you can!
370
00:14:35,608 --> 00:14:36,840
Hello, stone.
371
00:14:36,842 --> 00:14:38,175
Dick.
372
00:14:38,177 --> 00:14:39,176
You remember mary...
373
00:14:39,178 --> 00:14:40,211
My lover.
374
00:14:43,082 --> 00:14:44,248
Of course.
375
00:14:44,250 --> 00:14:46,417
I just didn't expect
To see her here.
376
00:14:46,419 --> 00:14:48,386
Oh, I wouldn't miss this
For the world.
377
00:14:48,388 --> 00:14:51,255
Of course she wouldn't.
She's my lover!
378
00:14:51,257 --> 00:14:53,524
Lighten up.
379
00:14:53,526 --> 00:14:56,627
I really enjoyed talking
To you last night, stone.
380
00:14:56,629 --> 00:14:57,895
I'm surprised
You even remember
381
00:14:57,897 --> 00:14:58,896
The conversation.
382
00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:00,931
You leave her alone,
You big bully!
383
00:15:00,933 --> 00:15:02,400
Dick!
Well, he is.
384
00:15:02,402 --> 00:15:03,801
You know,
He's so sweet!
385
00:15:03,803 --> 00:15:05,836
Sweet? He wants me
To break up with you.
386
00:15:05,838 --> 00:15:07,137
Dick!
What?
387
00:15:07,139 --> 00:15:09,239
Yeah. He thinks you're
Not good enough for me.
388
00:15:09,241 --> 00:15:10,741
Oh, I don't think
He meant that.
389
00:15:10,743 --> 00:15:11,809
Did you, stone?
390
00:15:11,811 --> 00:15:13,144
Mary, I think
You're
391
00:15:13,146 --> 00:15:14,312
A perfectly
Good girlfriend
392
00:15:14,314 --> 00:15:15,746
For, say...
393
00:15:15,748 --> 00:15:19,216
The beer delivery
Guy.
394
00:15:19,218 --> 00:15:21,318
Oh, stone! Ha ha ha!
395
00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:22,653
Oh, that reminds me
396
00:15:22,655 --> 00:15:24,388
Of something
That nietzche once said.
397
00:15:24,390 --> 00:15:25,989
What was it? Um...
398
00:15:25,991 --> 00:15:27,325
du bist ein esel.
399
00:15:27,327 --> 00:15:28,325
What?
400
00:15:28,327 --> 00:15:29,494
You're an ass!
401
00:15:32,065 --> 00:15:34,365
No, I'm serious.
I love your new hair color.
402
00:15:34,367 --> 00:15:35,533
Really?
403
00:15:35,535 --> 00:15:37,034
Hello, vicki.
404
00:15:37,036 --> 00:15:38,102
Harry.
405
00:15:38,104 --> 00:15:40,170
I'm the one
You want, vicki.
406
00:15:40,172 --> 00:15:42,039
And you
Can have me.
407
00:15:42,041 --> 00:15:43,040
You mean it?
408
00:15:43,042 --> 00:15:44,542
That's right!
409
00:15:44,544 --> 00:15:47,712
It's lunchtime
In the hot
And nasty diner.
410
00:15:47,714 --> 00:15:49,547
Today's special...
411
00:15:49,549 --> 00:15:51,215
Harry loaf!
412
00:15:52,986 --> 00:15:53,985
That's it.
413
00:15:53,987 --> 00:15:55,153
Aah!
414
00:15:55,155 --> 00:15:56,721
Ha!
415
00:15:56,723 --> 00:16:00,091
How dare you trick me
With your flesh!
416
00:16:00,093 --> 00:16:02,527
Well, that's what
It's there for.
417
00:16:02,529 --> 00:16:03,761
I'll take it
From here,
418
00:16:03,763 --> 00:16:07,297
Security officer.
419
00:16:07,299 --> 00:16:09,199
Good work...
420
00:16:09,201 --> 00:16:11,268
Radio.
421
00:16:11,270 --> 00:16:13,203
Oh, vicki,
Look at you.
422
00:16:13,205 --> 00:16:14,304
You're hurting me.
423
00:16:14,306 --> 00:16:15,306
You've forgotten
What it's like
424
00:16:15,308 --> 00:16:16,406
To be human!
425
00:16:16,408 --> 00:16:17,874
I did it because
I love you, harry.
426
00:16:17,876 --> 00:16:19,643
Well, if you really
Love me,
427
00:16:19,645 --> 00:16:23,180
You'll just let me be
Happy with janice.
428
00:16:23,182 --> 00:16:25,049
I'm so sorry.
429
00:16:25,051 --> 00:16:26,650
Oh...Vicki, what
Happened to you?!
430
00:16:26,652 --> 00:16:27,985
Well, you don't know
What it's like
431
00:16:27,987 --> 00:16:29,787
Livin'
Up there with him!
432
00:16:29,789 --> 00:16:31,155
I mean, at least on earth
433
00:16:31,157 --> 00:16:32,990
I could fill the void
In my soul
434
00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:36,160
With malt liquor
And velveeta.
435
00:16:36,162 --> 00:16:38,429
Can't we be friends,
Harry?
436
00:16:38,431 --> 00:16:40,531
Well...Ok.
437
00:16:40,533 --> 00:16:41,966
Ok!
438
00:16:44,403 --> 00:16:45,402
Mmm...Yeah.
439
00:16:45,404 --> 00:16:46,737
By the way,
Vicki,
440
00:16:46,739 --> 00:16:48,405
Friends don't
Usually...
441
00:16:48,407 --> 00:16:49,674
Cup each other's
Butts
442
00:16:49,676 --> 00:16:51,008
During emotionally
Vulnerable moments
443
00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:52,242
Like this.
444
00:16:52,244 --> 00:16:54,078
Oh, right.
Just for the future.
445
00:16:54,080 --> 00:16:55,880
It makes sense!
Yeah, yeah.
446
00:17:00,653 --> 00:17:01,919
Thanks.
447
00:17:01,921 --> 00:17:03,821
Thank you.
448
00:17:03,823 --> 00:17:05,889
"Principal greschner,
Faculty,
449
00:17:05,891 --> 00:17:09,159
"Honored guests,
Lunch ladies,
450
00:17:09,161 --> 00:17:12,230
"Weird old guy
In the raincoat...
451
00:17:12,232 --> 00:17:15,566
"What does it mean
To be valedictorian?
452
00:17:15,568 --> 00:17:18,269
"For many, being first
In one's class
453
00:17:18,271 --> 00:17:20,938
"Is a distinction
That defines their futures.
454
00:17:20,940 --> 00:17:23,107
But for me..."
455
00:17:23,109 --> 00:17:26,944
It means squat because
I don't have a girlfriend.
456
00:17:26,946 --> 00:17:29,480
Oh, my god.
457
00:17:29,482 --> 00:17:31,148
That's right, alissa.
458
00:17:31,150 --> 00:17:33,985
Being first in my class
Pales in comparison
459
00:17:33,987 --> 00:17:36,053
To being first
In your heart.
460
00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:40,158
So...What I'll remember most
About my high school experience
461
00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:41,792
Is our time together...
462
00:17:41,794 --> 00:17:44,495
Our long walks
After school,
463
00:17:44,497 --> 00:17:46,764
Doing homework
In the coffee house,
464
00:17:46,766 --> 00:17:50,735
That day in the park
When it rained.
465
00:17:50,737 --> 00:17:52,904
Oh, tommy.
466
00:17:52,906 --> 00:17:55,739
And, um...I think
I'll remember most
467
00:17:55,741 --> 00:17:58,843
That time that we fooled around
On your parents' bed
468
00:17:58,845 --> 00:18:00,978
When they were
Out of town.
469
00:18:02,948 --> 00:18:06,416
Alissa...Please
Take me back.
470
00:18:06,418 --> 00:18:08,519
Go to hell!
471
00:18:11,858 --> 00:18:14,392
Long live rock!
472
00:18:14,394 --> 00:18:16,226
[cheers and applause]
473
00:18:21,367 --> 00:18:23,267
Hey, sport.
474
00:18:23,269 --> 00:18:25,836
I got nothin'
To say to you.
475
00:18:25,838 --> 00:18:28,139
What happened
To us?
476
00:18:28,141 --> 00:18:30,407
Remember
The jazz club?
477
00:18:30,409 --> 00:18:33,944
♪ scooby dooby dooby
Dooby dooby doo ♪
478
00:18:33,946 --> 00:18:35,579
We were such pals!
479
00:18:35,581 --> 00:18:38,849
That was before I found out
You were my father.
480
00:18:38,851 --> 00:18:40,517
Well, how does
Being family
481
00:18:40,519 --> 00:18:41,819
Change everything?
482
00:18:41,821 --> 00:18:43,387
It just does!
How?
483
00:18:43,389 --> 00:18:46,456
Well, if you don't know,
I'm not gonna tell you!
484
00:18:46,458 --> 00:18:48,692
You don't know,
Do you?
485
00:18:48,694 --> 00:18:51,628
Why did you even
Have me?
486
00:18:51,630 --> 00:18:53,664
You were a mistake.
487
00:18:55,068 --> 00:18:56,533
But...But,
488
00:18:56,535 --> 00:18:59,236
The greatest mistake
I ever made!
489
00:19:00,807 --> 00:19:01,872
Really?
490
00:19:01,874 --> 00:19:04,975
Oh, listen, son,
If that little tramp
491
00:19:04,977 --> 00:19:06,376
Mary albright
Makes you happy,
492
00:19:06,378 --> 00:19:08,078
So be it!
You have my blessing!
493
00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:09,313
You mean it?
494
00:19:09,315 --> 00:19:11,315
Yes. I really think
She's a tramp.
495
00:19:11,317 --> 00:19:13,584
No. I mean about
Your blessing!
496
00:19:13,586 --> 00:19:14,785
Oh!
497
00:19:16,889 --> 00:19:18,355
Right. You bet.
498
00:19:18,357 --> 00:19:20,491
Thanks, dad.
499
00:19:21,894 --> 00:19:24,061
Hey!
500
00:19:24,063 --> 00:19:25,996
You wanna have
A catch?
501
00:19:25,998 --> 00:19:27,398
Sure.
502
00:19:49,555 --> 00:19:50,888
You know, it's funny.
503
00:19:50,890 --> 00:19:52,589
Whenever the big
Giant head left before,
504
00:19:52,591 --> 00:19:54,124
I'd feel relieved.
505
00:19:54,126 --> 00:19:56,527
But now that I know
He's my father,
506
00:19:56,529 --> 00:19:58,762
I feel especially
Relieved.
507
00:20:00,166 --> 00:20:02,166
Well, it must
Be nice to know
508
00:20:02,168 --> 00:20:03,434
Where you come
From.
509
00:20:03,436 --> 00:20:05,503
Yeah, to find out
Who your family is.
510
00:20:05,505 --> 00:20:07,404
I already know
Who my family is.
511
00:20:07,406 --> 00:20:09,373
It's not some guy
Who waltzes in
512
00:20:09,375 --> 00:20:10,941
And calls
Himself "Father."
513
00:20:10,943 --> 00:20:13,543
It's the people
I let into my life,
514
00:20:13,545 --> 00:20:15,613
The people I trust
And love.
515
00:20:15,615 --> 00:20:17,615
Whoa...
516
00:20:17,617 --> 00:20:20,317
I'd like to meet
Those people!
517
00:20:20,319 --> 00:20:22,486
They sure sound nice.
518
00:20:22,488 --> 00:20:24,454
No, harry,
I mean all of you.
519
00:20:24,456 --> 00:20:26,556
No, I don't
Think so.
520
00:20:26,558 --> 00:20:28,558
Oh! Hey, by the way, dick,
521
00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:31,561
What did you ever do
With that electric curler
522
00:20:31,563 --> 00:20:33,463
Demolecularizer
Thingy?
523
00:20:33,465 --> 00:20:34,564
Oh, don't worry.
It's safe.
524
00:20:34,566 --> 00:20:35,900
Yeah, trust me.
525
00:20:35,902 --> 00:20:37,234
It's somewhere where
No one
526
00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:38,936
Will ever find it.
36555
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