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1
00:00:04,304 --> 00:00:06,038
You've got to get
A laser pointer, mary.
2
00:00:06,040 --> 00:00:07,372
Look,
It's on the globe.
3
00:00:07,374 --> 00:00:08,807
You can refer
To things on the board
4
00:00:08,809 --> 00:00:10,909
Without ever
Leaving your desk.
5
00:00:10,911 --> 00:00:14,712
I bet you could
Drive cats crazy, too.
6
00:00:14,714 --> 00:00:16,214
I wouldn't know.
7
00:00:16,216 --> 00:00:18,250
But squirrels hate
The crap out of 'em!
8
00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:24,422
What's so funny?
9
00:00:24,424 --> 00:00:26,758
Vincent was just
Showing me his laser pointer.
10
00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:28,359
Oh, big deal.
Anybody can be funny
11
00:00:28,361 --> 00:00:30,762
With a laser pointer.
12
00:00:30,764 --> 00:00:32,097
Now cut that out!
13
00:00:33,467 --> 00:00:34,633
You're an idiot,
Dick.
14
00:00:34,635 --> 00:00:35,634
Good-bye, mary.
15
00:00:35,636 --> 00:00:36,635
Good-bye.
16
00:00:36,637 --> 00:00:38,269
Oh, yeah? Oh, yeah?
17
00:00:38,271 --> 00:00:41,306
Well, see you later,
Carrot top!
18
00:00:41,308 --> 00:00:43,742
Why do you hate him
So much?
19
00:00:43,744 --> 00:00:44,743
Because he's
An arrogant,
20
00:00:44,745 --> 00:00:45,744
Loudmouthed,
21
00:00:45,746 --> 00:00:47,345
Self-absorbed
Know-it-all.
22
00:00:47,347 --> 00:00:49,781
Dick, that's you.
23
00:00:49,783 --> 00:00:51,283
You didn't
Let me finish:
24
00:00:51,285 --> 00:00:54,619
With a beard.
25
00:00:54,621 --> 00:00:55,754
If you were thinking
I don't like him
26
00:00:55,756 --> 00:00:57,355
Because the two of you
Had a fling years ago,
27
00:00:57,357 --> 00:00:58,790
You're wrong.
28
00:00:58,792 --> 00:01:01,092
Because it didn't
Even occur to me.
29
00:01:01,094 --> 00:01:02,561
So, you're wrong.
30
00:01:02,563 --> 00:01:04,095
Ok.
31
00:01:04,097 --> 00:01:05,730
You know, I'm not
Feeling too great.
32
00:01:05,732 --> 00:01:07,266
If it's ok with you,
I'm gonna go home
33
00:01:07,268 --> 00:01:08,434
And get into bed.
34
00:01:08,436 --> 00:01:10,001
Oh, of course
It's ok with me.
35
00:01:10,003 --> 00:01:11,369
And if you don't
Feel well tomorrow,
36
00:01:11,371 --> 00:01:12,503
Don't bother coming in.
37
00:01:12,505 --> 00:01:15,039
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
38
00:01:15,041 --> 00:01:16,208
She can't
Stay home tomorrow.
39
00:01:16,210 --> 00:01:17,743
It's a workday.
40
00:01:17,745 --> 00:01:19,110
I want you to
Feel better, nina,
41
00:01:19,112 --> 00:01:20,913
But coffee doesn't
Just magically float
42
00:01:20,915 --> 00:01:23,649
Into my cup.
43
00:01:23,651 --> 00:01:25,450
I'll leave some coffee
In the machine.
44
00:01:25,452 --> 00:01:26,585
No, no, no--
I don't drink
45
00:01:26,587 --> 00:01:27,852
Day-old coffee.
46
00:01:27,854 --> 00:01:29,521
Yes, you do.
47
00:02:09,930 --> 00:02:11,129
Hey, you guys,
Look at this.
48
00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:13,098
Don left his little
Radio here last night.
49
00:02:13,100 --> 00:02:14,566
Oh, cool.
50
00:02:14,568 --> 00:02:17,469
1-adam-12,
1-adam-12,
51
00:02:17,471 --> 00:02:21,039
Be on the lookout
For a bad guy named adam,
52
00:02:21,041 --> 00:02:22,841
Who's 12.
53
00:02:24,744 --> 00:02:25,877
This isn't
A walkie-talkie.
54
00:02:25,879 --> 00:02:26,945
It's a scanner.
55
00:02:26,947 --> 00:02:28,280
It picks up
Radio frequencies
56
00:02:28,282 --> 00:02:30,114
From police cars
And fire trucks.
57
00:02:30,116 --> 00:02:32,651
Don is so careless
With his police equipment.
58
00:02:32,653 --> 00:02:35,553
Yeah. Did he ever
Find his gun?
59
00:02:35,555 --> 00:02:37,356
Not yet. The one
In his holster's
60
00:02:37,358 --> 00:02:40,559
From a g.I. Joe set.
61
00:02:40,561 --> 00:02:41,860
[static]
62
00:02:41,862 --> 00:02:43,562
Woman: this morning
Was great, steve.
63
00:02:43,564 --> 00:02:44,596
Hey, check this out.
We picked up
64
00:02:44,598 --> 00:02:46,565
Somebody's cell phone.
65
00:02:46,567 --> 00:02:48,232
I can't wait to
See you tonight.
66
00:02:48,234 --> 00:02:50,401
Yeah, you know, um,
About that, andrea--
67
00:02:50,403 --> 00:02:51,903
I have to work late.
68
00:02:51,905 --> 00:02:53,504
But that's the third
Time this week.
69
00:02:53,506 --> 00:02:55,574
Look, you know,
Uh, something came up.
70
00:02:55,576 --> 00:02:57,409
I'll call you later.
71
00:02:57,411 --> 00:02:59,010
I bet I know
What came up.
72
00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:02,381
Some floozy at a cheap bar
By the airport.
73
00:03:02,383 --> 00:03:03,515
She seems so nice.
74
00:03:03,517 --> 00:03:04,883
You think he'd really
Do that to her?
75
00:03:04,885 --> 00:03:06,117
Of course he would.
He's a guy.
76
00:03:06,119 --> 00:03:07,319
Guys are such jerks.
77
00:03:07,321 --> 00:03:11,356
Yeah, we make me sick.
78
00:03:11,358 --> 00:03:13,692
God, it's a beautiful day.
79
00:03:13,694 --> 00:03:17,195
The sun is shining.
The air is crisp.
80
00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:20,865
Damn, I wish I were sick.
81
00:03:20,867 --> 00:03:23,502
Yeah, I know
What you mean.
82
00:03:23,504 --> 00:03:25,837
Actually, I don't.
83
00:03:25,839 --> 00:03:27,906
Well, when you have
A job and you're sick,
84
00:03:27,908 --> 00:03:29,541
You get something
Called a sick day,
85
00:03:29,543 --> 00:03:31,076
Which means you get
The whole day off.
86
00:03:31,078 --> 00:03:32,109
But if you're sick,
You have to
87
00:03:32,111 --> 00:03:33,177
Stay in bed.
88
00:03:33,179 --> 00:03:34,379
Yeah, unless you
Said you were sick
89
00:03:34,381 --> 00:03:35,680
When you really weren't.
90
00:03:35,682 --> 00:03:36,848
Yeah, I mean,
How would they know?
91
00:03:36,850 --> 00:03:38,049
They wouldn't.
92
00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:39,217
Dick: you're right,
They really wouldn't.
93
00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:40,986
Well, I'll see you.
Bye.
94
00:03:45,592 --> 00:03:47,192
Wait a second.
95
00:03:49,128 --> 00:03:50,962
What's
The matter?
96
00:03:50,964 --> 00:03:55,433
What if I were
To call in sick?
97
00:03:55,435 --> 00:03:57,302
But you're not.
98
00:03:57,304 --> 00:03:59,837
I know.
99
00:03:59,839 --> 00:04:02,274
You've gone mad.
100
00:04:02,276 --> 00:04:03,308
But it would
Be so easy.
101
00:04:03,310 --> 00:04:04,643
Dick, if it
Were so easy,
102
00:04:04,645 --> 00:04:05,644
Don't you think
Somebody would have
103
00:04:05,646 --> 00:04:06,778
Tried it already?
104
00:04:06,780 --> 00:04:08,212
Look, someone had
To be the first person
105
00:04:08,214 --> 00:04:11,616
To turn a corncob
Into a pipe.
106
00:04:11,618 --> 00:04:15,520
Taking a sick day when
You're not really sick?
107
00:04:15,522 --> 00:04:16,855
Sounds like
A crime to me.
108
00:04:16,857 --> 00:04:18,456
It's not a crime.
109
00:04:18,458 --> 00:04:21,560
It's the crime
Of the century.
110
00:04:21,562 --> 00:04:23,261
That's brilliant!
111
00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:26,665
Turning a corncob
Into a pipe!
112
00:04:31,170 --> 00:04:32,537
Are you sure,
Sally?
113
00:04:32,539 --> 00:04:33,705
'cause I
Could have sworn
114
00:04:33,707 --> 00:04:34,839
I left it here.
115
00:04:34,841 --> 00:04:35,940
What did you say
It was again?
116
00:04:35,942 --> 00:04:37,275
A radio station?
117
00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:38,944
A radio scanner.
118
00:04:38,946 --> 00:04:41,046
Is that like
A cat scanner?
119
00:04:41,048 --> 00:04:43,181
No, I think if
There was a cat scan
120
00:04:43,183 --> 00:04:45,350
Machine in here,
We'd know about it.
121
00:04:45,352 --> 00:04:46,351
Just keep
Your eyes open.
122
00:04:46,353 --> 00:04:47,518
Let me know
If you find it.
123
00:04:47,520 --> 00:04:48,653
Sally: ok,
We will, don.
124
00:04:48,655 --> 00:04:50,322
And I hope you
Find your cat.
125
00:04:50,324 --> 00:04:52,357
Yeah.
Bye, don.
126
00:04:54,728 --> 00:04:56,495
Hope we didn't
Miss anything.
127
00:04:58,899 --> 00:05:00,499
Steve: what are you
Accusing me of, andrea?
128
00:05:00,501 --> 00:05:01,633
Yes! It's on!
129
00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:03,502
Andrea: I am done
With your lies, steve.
130
00:05:03,504 --> 00:05:04,903
Lies? What lies?
131
00:05:04,905 --> 00:05:06,771
He is so busted!
132
00:05:06,773 --> 00:05:08,940
Why weren't you
At your desk last night?
133
00:05:08,942 --> 00:05:10,942
Because
The system was down.
134
00:05:10,944 --> 00:05:15,079
By "System,"
He means pants.
135
00:05:15,081 --> 00:05:16,748
This guy's
Classic.
136
00:05:16,750 --> 00:05:18,116
Yeah, she's too good
For him.
137
00:05:18,118 --> 00:05:20,318
He needs
A good ass-kissing.
138
00:05:23,723 --> 00:05:24,990
Kicking.
139
00:05:27,861 --> 00:05:30,662
Yes, kicking.
140
00:05:30,664 --> 00:05:32,430
Hey, guys!
You would not
141
00:05:32,432 --> 00:05:33,431
Believe my day!
142
00:05:33,433 --> 00:05:34,432
Shhh!
143
00:05:34,434 --> 00:05:35,500
Yup, got a facial,
144
00:05:35,502 --> 00:05:38,737
Went to the aquarium,
Taunted the walrus,
145
00:05:38,739 --> 00:05:40,806
Then spent 4 hours
At the arcade,
146
00:05:40,808 --> 00:05:42,073
Where I won this!
147
00:05:42,075 --> 00:05:43,541
Shh!
148
00:05:43,543 --> 00:05:45,277
Andrea: that's it,
Steve. We're through!
149
00:05:45,279 --> 00:05:46,278
Steve: what?!
150
00:05:46,280 --> 00:05:47,712
I put all your stuff
In a box,
151
00:05:47,714 --> 00:05:48,846
And I'm going
To frankie's
152
00:05:48,848 --> 00:05:51,283
Right now to pick up
My dry cleaning.
153
00:05:51,285 --> 00:05:52,384
You'll even have
Your stupid
154
00:05:52,386 --> 00:05:56,020
Sweater
Back! Good-bye!
155
00:05:56,022 --> 00:05:57,088
Hey, wait a minute.
156
00:05:57,090 --> 00:05:59,190
Isn't frankie's
Our dry cleaner?
157
00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:00,825
Let's go!
Let's go!
158
00:06:00,827 --> 00:06:03,128
Wait, wait, wait!
159
00:06:03,130 --> 00:06:05,130
We don't have
Any dry cleaning.
160
00:06:07,534 --> 00:06:09,400
Let's go!
Let's go!
161
00:06:09,402 --> 00:06:10,802
Wait up--hey, wait!
162
00:06:10,804 --> 00:06:12,270
Mary:
Dick?
163
00:06:12,272 --> 00:06:13,371
Oh, hi, honey.
164
00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:14,805
I brought you
Some soup.
165
00:06:14,807 --> 00:06:15,940
I don't need
Any soup, mary.
166
00:06:15,942 --> 00:06:17,308
I'm not sick.
167
00:06:17,310 --> 00:06:18,710
Then why'd you
Stay home?
168
00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:21,313
I had a horrible case
Of the fun-zies.
169
00:06:21,315 --> 00:06:23,214
Ah-choo!
170
00:06:25,552 --> 00:06:26,618
What's that?
171
00:06:26,620 --> 00:06:27,786
I won it at the arcade.
172
00:06:27,788 --> 00:06:29,420
The arcade?
173
00:06:29,422 --> 00:06:31,689
You faked
A sick day?
174
00:06:31,691 --> 00:06:33,058
You're not gonna
Tell anyone, are you?
175
00:06:33,060 --> 00:06:34,392
Tell anyone?
176
00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:35,694
Why didn't
You call me?
177
00:06:35,696 --> 00:06:36,861
I would have come!
178
00:06:36,863 --> 00:06:38,095
You would have?
179
00:06:38,097 --> 00:06:39,664
Then let's do it
Tomorrow!
180
00:06:39,666 --> 00:06:41,032
Ooh, tomorrow...
181
00:06:41,034 --> 00:06:43,969
Oh, come on, mary.
It'll be fun.
182
00:06:43,971 --> 00:06:46,804
Oh, I know
It would be fun.
183
00:06:46,806 --> 00:06:49,274
You know, I think
I might be coming down
184
00:06:49,276 --> 00:06:51,342
With a little something.
185
00:06:51,344 --> 00:06:53,311
Well, then get the hell
Away from me!
186
00:06:53,313 --> 00:06:55,413
You're gonna ruin
My day off!
187
00:07:00,621 --> 00:07:02,487
So how do we know
Which one is andrea?
188
00:07:02,489 --> 00:07:03,555
We've heard her speak.
189
00:07:03,557 --> 00:07:04,856
Now we just listen
Very carefully
190
00:07:04,858 --> 00:07:06,124
For her voice.
191
00:07:06,126 --> 00:07:07,525
Frankie: there you
Go, andrea.
192
00:07:07,527 --> 00:07:09,661
Well,
It's not frankie.
193
00:07:09,663 --> 00:07:11,496
So, that's andrea.
194
00:07:11,498 --> 00:07:13,664
Wow, she's
So beautiful.
195
00:07:13,666 --> 00:07:15,133
She sounded
Heavier to me.
196
00:07:15,135 --> 00:07:16,701
Well, you know,
They say the scanner
197
00:07:16,703 --> 00:07:18,936
Adds, like, 8 pounds.
198
00:07:18,938 --> 00:07:20,572
I'm gonna
Go talk to her.
199
00:07:20,574 --> 00:07:21,872
You can't go up
And just talk to her.
200
00:07:21,874 --> 00:07:23,475
She's, like, famous.
201
00:07:23,477 --> 00:07:25,843
Come on, she looks
So sad and lonely.
202
00:07:25,845 --> 00:07:27,178
I'm just gonna
Say something to her.
203
00:07:27,180 --> 00:07:29,380
Harry, don't.
Don't. I--
204
00:07:33,153 --> 00:07:35,019
Hello.
205
00:07:35,021 --> 00:07:36,854
Hi.
206
00:07:36,856 --> 00:07:38,356
I had a little
Ice-cream situation.
207
00:07:38,358 --> 00:07:41,259
You think frankie
Can handle it?
208
00:07:41,261 --> 00:07:42,727
Oh. I guess.
209
00:07:42,729 --> 00:07:44,029
Yeah, he's the best.
210
00:07:44,031 --> 00:07:46,364
You know, he once got
A peanut butter stain
211
00:07:46,366 --> 00:07:48,967
Out of my cummerbund.
212
00:07:48,969 --> 00:07:52,303
That was a cheap wedding.
213
00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:55,373
Wow, you look so pretty
When you laugh.
214
00:07:55,375 --> 00:07:57,108
I mean, so do I.
215
00:08:00,580 --> 00:08:02,113
I can't believe
Harry is talking
216
00:08:02,115 --> 00:08:03,981
To the andrea.
217
00:08:03,983 --> 00:08:06,183
I can't believe frankie
Had his picture taken
218
00:08:06,185 --> 00:08:08,152
With englebert humperdinck.
219
00:08:13,459 --> 00:08:17,495
Dick: we won,
Mary! We won!
220
00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:19,230
Did you see how I dusted
That number-8 car
221
00:08:19,232 --> 00:08:20,532
On the last turn?
222
00:08:20,534 --> 00:08:24,202
Did you have to throw
Soda in his face?
223
00:08:24,204 --> 00:08:25,403
This is go-carting, mary.
224
00:08:25,405 --> 00:08:27,906
You're either in it to win,
Or you're not.
225
00:08:27,908 --> 00:08:30,541
Man: I'd like a word
With you, 30 car.
226
00:08:30,543 --> 00:08:31,842
Don't you know
The rules?
227
00:08:31,844 --> 00:08:34,845
That was bush-league!
228
00:08:34,847 --> 00:08:36,047
Strudwick!
229
00:08:36,049 --> 00:08:37,715
Dick! How come
You're not at school?
230
00:08:37,717 --> 00:08:40,485
I--I am, I-I'm
Teaching the physics
231
00:08:40,487 --> 00:08:41,586
Of go-carting.
232
00:08:41,588 --> 00:08:43,121
Nicely done, class.
233
00:08:43,123 --> 00:08:44,589
What are you
Doing here?
234
00:08:44,591 --> 00:08:46,491
Me? Well...
235
00:08:46,493 --> 00:08:49,494
I'm dying, dick.
236
00:08:49,496 --> 00:08:52,797
I made a wish,
And this is it.
237
00:08:52,799 --> 00:08:54,799
Dying? Oh,
Come on, vincent,
238
00:08:54,801 --> 00:08:56,601
You could do better
Than that.
239
00:08:56,603 --> 00:08:58,035
Oh, you're here, too.
240
00:08:58,037 --> 00:09:00,237
Well, if you must know,
I called in sick.
241
00:09:00,239 --> 00:09:01,973
You cheat!
242
00:09:01,975 --> 00:09:04,308
You phony,
Lying fraud!
243
00:09:04,310 --> 00:09:06,411
Let's rat him out
To the chancellor, mary.
244
00:09:06,413 --> 00:09:07,879
You can't rat me out
Without ratting
245
00:09:07,881 --> 00:09:08,913
Yourself out, dick.
246
00:09:08,915 --> 00:09:10,048
How dumb are you?
247
00:09:10,050 --> 00:09:11,950
Not dumb enough to have
A root beer beard!
248
00:09:11,952 --> 00:09:14,386
Would the two of you
Just shut up?
249
00:09:14,388 --> 00:09:15,387
Now, we're
All guilty
250
00:09:15,389 --> 00:09:16,554
Of the same thing,
251
00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:17,923
So quit
Acting like babies,
252
00:09:17,925 --> 00:09:20,892
And let's go
Get some lunch.
253
00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:22,260
We're not babies.
254
00:09:26,699 --> 00:09:28,099
He's hitting me!
255
00:09:28,101 --> 00:09:30,035
[that thing you do
By the wonders begins]
256
00:09:36,543 --> 00:09:38,309
♪ you ♪
257
00:09:38,311 --> 00:09:41,846
♪ doin' that thing you do ♪
258
00:09:41,848 --> 00:09:44,349
♪ you never even knew ♪
259
00:09:44,351 --> 00:09:47,551
♪ about the heartache ♪
260
00:09:47,553 --> 00:09:50,488
♪ I've been going through ♪
261
00:09:50,490 --> 00:09:54,125
♪ well, I try and try
To forget you, girl ♪
262
00:09:54,127 --> 00:09:58,096
♪ but it's just
So hard to do ♪
263
00:09:58,098 --> 00:10:02,667
♪ every time you do
That thing you do ♪
264
00:10:05,172 --> 00:10:08,639
♪ I don't ask a lot, girl ♪
265
00:10:08,641 --> 00:10:11,909
♪ but I know
One thing's for sure ♪
266
00:10:11,911 --> 00:10:15,479
♪ it's the love
I haven't got, girl ♪
267
00:10:15,481 --> 00:10:17,515
♪ and I just
Can't take it ♪
268
00:10:17,517 --> 00:10:19,684
♪ anymore ♪
269
00:10:19,686 --> 00:10:21,753
♪ waah ♪
270
00:10:37,837 --> 00:10:39,570
Wow, I've never seen
A hot-air balloon
271
00:10:39,572 --> 00:10:41,373
Up so close before.
272
00:10:41,375 --> 00:10:43,808
It is rather
Beautiful.
273
00:10:43,810 --> 00:10:46,378
I wonder what it would
Feel like to be so free,
274
00:10:46,380 --> 00:10:48,546
Flying in the clouds.
275
00:10:48,548 --> 00:10:52,383
That's the beauty
Of a bird like a parrot.
276
00:10:52,385 --> 00:10:54,952
It can tell you how
It feels to your face.
277
00:10:58,491 --> 00:11:00,925
You know, they have
Champagne flights.
278
00:11:00,927 --> 00:11:01,926
They leave
Every morning
279
00:11:01,928 --> 00:11:03,861
Out of hubris field.
280
00:11:03,863 --> 00:11:06,397
Oh, I'd love
To do that someday.
281
00:11:06,399 --> 00:11:08,933
Let's do it tomorrow.
The three of us.
282
00:11:08,935 --> 00:11:11,168
We all still have
Sick days left.
283
00:11:11,170 --> 00:11:12,170
I'm in!
284
00:11:12,172 --> 00:11:14,039
Vinnie?
Absolutely, dickie.
285
00:11:14,041 --> 00:11:15,840
I just wish we had
Some binoculars.
286
00:11:15,842 --> 00:11:17,875
I have binoculars.
They're at the office.
287
00:11:17,877 --> 00:11:19,310
I'll zip by
At the crack of dawn,
288
00:11:19,312 --> 00:11:20,778
And we'll rendezvous
At the launch.
289
00:11:20,780 --> 00:11:21,946
That would
Be wonderful.
290
00:11:21,948 --> 00:11:23,047
I'll bring
The sandwiches.
291
00:11:23,049 --> 00:11:24,148
Do you like
Pimento loaf?
292
00:11:24,150 --> 00:11:26,918
Perfect!
Fried chicken it is!
293
00:11:34,994 --> 00:11:36,894
Hey, guys, is
Anything going on?
294
00:11:36,896 --> 00:11:38,730
Yeah, andrea just
Told her mother
295
00:11:38,732 --> 00:11:40,565
That she met
This great new guy,
296
00:11:40,567 --> 00:11:41,866
And she's calling him
Right now.
297
00:11:41,868 --> 00:11:43,100
Cool.
298
00:11:43,102 --> 00:11:44,268
[telephone rings
On scanner]
299
00:11:44,270 --> 00:11:46,471
[telephone rings]
300
00:11:49,175 --> 00:11:50,941
[ring]
301
00:11:50,943 --> 00:11:52,209
[ring]
302
00:11:52,211 --> 00:11:53,210
Well, should I
Answer it?
303
00:11:53,212 --> 00:11:54,278
No, just
Let it ring.
304
00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:56,180
Come on, pick it up,
Pick it up!
305
00:11:56,182 --> 00:11:57,181
[ring]
306
00:11:57,183 --> 00:11:59,984
[ring]
307
00:11:59,986 --> 00:12:01,386
Why do people
Always call
308
00:12:01,388 --> 00:12:03,688
When something
Good is on?
309
00:12:03,690 --> 00:12:05,757
It's just, like, rude,
Is what it is.
310
00:12:05,759 --> 00:12:07,124
[ring]
311
00:12:07,126 --> 00:12:08,259
[ring]
312
00:12:08,261 --> 00:12:09,627
Just pick it up!
313
00:12:09,629 --> 00:12:10,628
Gosh, I can't
Take this.
314
00:12:10,630 --> 00:12:11,662
I can't
Concentrate.
315
00:12:11,664 --> 00:12:12,897
I'm gonna go
Answer it, ok?
316
00:12:12,899 --> 00:12:15,566
[ring]
317
00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:16,934
The tension
Is killing me.
318
00:12:16,936 --> 00:12:19,270
Pick up the phone,
Already!
319
00:12:19,272 --> 00:12:20,270
Harry on scanner:
Hello?
320
00:12:20,272 --> 00:12:23,608
Andrea: hi.
321
00:12:23,610 --> 00:12:25,209
Harry,
This is andrea.
322
00:12:25,211 --> 00:12:26,811
I got your number
From frankie,
323
00:12:26,813 --> 00:12:29,680
Our dry cleaner.
324
00:12:29,682 --> 00:12:32,483
I can't talk right now.
My program is on.
325
00:12:34,087 --> 00:12:35,619
Harry, harry,
It's andrea!
326
00:12:35,621 --> 00:12:36,921
I know. I'm trying
To get off the phone.
327
00:12:36,923 --> 00:12:38,389
No, it's andrea
On the phone!
328
00:12:38,391 --> 00:12:39,590
You're
The new guy!
329
00:12:39,592 --> 00:12:42,160
Aah!
330
00:12:42,162 --> 00:12:43,161
What should I do?
331
00:12:43,163 --> 00:12:44,895
Just talk to her.
332
00:12:48,001 --> 00:12:49,734
Can I get
Some privacy?
333
00:12:49,736 --> 00:12:51,268
Sure, man.
Sorry.
334
00:12:51,270 --> 00:12:52,970
You take
Your time.
335
00:12:56,809 --> 00:13:00,044
Harry on scanner:
Well, hello, andrea.
336
00:13:00,046 --> 00:13:01,045
I like
The new guy.
337
00:13:01,047 --> 00:13:02,713
He's good.
338
00:13:07,186 --> 00:13:08,219
Where are
Those binoculars?
339
00:13:08,221 --> 00:13:09,888
Ah! There they are!
340
00:13:09,890 --> 00:13:11,956
Vinnie's
Gonna love these!
341
00:13:11,958 --> 00:13:13,324
Ah!
342
00:13:13,326 --> 00:13:14,325
Chancellor.
343
00:13:14,327 --> 00:13:15,826
Dick?
344
00:13:15,828 --> 00:13:17,928
Wh-wh-what are you
Doing here so early?
345
00:13:17,930 --> 00:13:19,396
I saw the light on.
346
00:13:19,398 --> 00:13:21,432
Early bird
Gets the worm, huh?
347
00:13:21,434 --> 00:13:22,800
I don't know.
You'd have to ask
348
00:13:22,802 --> 00:13:24,034
Someone from
The ornithology
349
00:13:24,036 --> 00:13:26,404
Department.
I'm physics.
350
00:13:26,406 --> 00:13:28,273
Those are
Nice-looking binoculars.
351
00:13:28,275 --> 00:13:29,640
May I?
352
00:13:29,642 --> 00:13:32,143
Why not? I won't be
Needing them.
353
00:13:32,145 --> 00:13:33,877
[telephone
Rings]
354
00:13:33,879 --> 00:13:35,346
Hello?
355
00:13:35,348 --> 00:13:36,881
Oh, hi, vince.
356
00:13:36,883 --> 00:13:38,149
Yeah, I got them.
357
00:13:38,151 --> 00:13:39,884
The chancellor's
Holding them right now.
358
00:13:39,886 --> 00:13:42,453
They're light
But powerful.
359
00:13:42,455 --> 00:13:43,755
Must be pricey.
360
00:13:43,757 --> 00:13:44,822
So we're just
Going to have to
361
00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:46,758
Do it another day.
362
00:13:46,760 --> 00:13:48,059
What do you mean
You just lifted her
363
00:13:48,061 --> 00:13:49,326
Into the basket?
364
00:13:49,328 --> 00:13:51,062
Are you still going?
365
00:13:51,064 --> 00:13:53,798
Just the two of you,
Alone?
366
00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:55,533
Was that
A champagne cork?
367
00:13:55,535 --> 00:13:57,501
Hello? Hello?
368
00:13:57,503 --> 00:13:59,003
That rat!
369
00:13:59,005 --> 00:14:00,838
And to think I pedaled
His bony ass
370
00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:02,540
Around for miles!
371
00:14:04,977 --> 00:14:06,277
I knew it!
372
00:14:06,279 --> 00:14:07,445
What?
373
00:14:07,447 --> 00:14:09,847
Dean fleeger's
Stealing toilet paper.
374
00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:12,383
That's why
He got a minivan.
375
00:14:15,989 --> 00:14:18,256
Isn't it rich?
376
00:14:18,258 --> 00:14:21,292
Aren't we a pair?
377
00:14:21,294 --> 00:14:23,161
Me here at last
On the ground,
378
00:14:23,163 --> 00:14:24,195
You in...
379
00:14:25,832 --> 00:14:27,498
Midair.
380
00:14:31,938 --> 00:14:33,471
Andrea on scanner:
So then my mom said,
381
00:14:33,473 --> 00:14:35,706
"That's a terrible name
For a parakeet."
382
00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:38,509
But to me, he just
Looks like a phillip.
383
00:14:38,511 --> 00:14:41,812
Harry on scanner:
Ha ha ha ha!
384
00:14:41,814 --> 00:14:43,081
Well,
You tell phillip
385
00:14:43,083 --> 00:14:45,416
That I'll see him
Tomorrow.
386
00:14:45,418 --> 00:14:46,784
I will.
387
00:14:46,786 --> 00:14:48,019
And, harry,
388
00:14:48,021 --> 00:14:50,855
I really enjoy
Talking to you.
389
00:14:50,857 --> 00:14:54,959
Blah, blah,
Blah, blah, blah.
390
00:14:54,961 --> 00:14:56,493
This show has really
Gone downhill since
391
00:14:56,495 --> 00:14:57,962
Harry was introduced.
392
00:14:57,964 --> 00:14:59,864
Yeah.
They need conflict.
393
00:14:59,866 --> 00:15:01,032
Where's the conflict?
394
00:15:01,034 --> 00:15:02,467
You know, it's gotten
So boring,
395
00:15:02,469 --> 00:15:03,568
I'm actually
Thinking about
396
00:15:03,570 --> 00:15:05,202
Reading a book.
What?!
397
00:15:05,204 --> 00:15:06,637
Hey, you guys,
Guess what?
398
00:15:06,639 --> 00:15:08,305
I've got a lunch date
With her tomorrow.
399
00:15:08,307 --> 00:15:10,074
We know.
We know.
400
00:15:11,410 --> 00:15:12,877
Say, harry,
401
00:15:12,879 --> 00:15:14,212
You know what would
Make that lunch date
402
00:15:14,214 --> 00:15:16,180
Really interesting?
403
00:15:16,182 --> 00:15:17,815
Show up
2 hours late
404
00:15:17,817 --> 00:15:19,684
Stinking of booze.
405
00:15:19,686 --> 00:15:20,918
Yes!
406
00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:22,886
I can practically
Hear her crying
407
00:15:22,888 --> 00:15:23,921
To her girlfriend.
408
00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:26,657
Now, that's entertainment!
Uh-huh.
409
00:15:26,659 --> 00:15:28,592
No, I don't
Play those games.
410
00:15:28,594 --> 00:15:30,461
I'm gonna
Treat her right.
411
00:15:30,463 --> 00:15:31,696
Hey, what about us?
412
00:15:31,698 --> 00:15:33,330
We're your audience!
413
00:15:33,332 --> 00:15:36,100
You selfish bastard!
414
00:15:41,307 --> 00:15:44,608
Aah!
Just take the money!
415
00:15:44,610 --> 00:15:45,642
Dick, what are you
Doing here?
416
00:15:45,644 --> 00:15:46,810
Whisking you away
417
00:15:46,812 --> 00:15:48,512
For a glorious
Sick day.
418
00:15:48,514 --> 00:15:49,580
It's gonna be great.
419
00:15:49,582 --> 00:15:51,181
No strudwick
To ruin it.
420
00:15:51,183 --> 00:15:53,918
Oh, and I found a place
That rents rickshaws.
421
00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:55,619
You, my lady,
Had better put on
422
00:15:55,621 --> 00:15:58,022
Your running shoes.
423
00:15:58,024 --> 00:15:59,390
Dick, I can't
Take a sick day.
424
00:15:59,392 --> 00:16:01,392
I've got
The faculty seminar,
425
00:16:01,394 --> 00:16:03,461
Followed by the chancellor's
Crab-leg lunch.
426
00:16:03,463 --> 00:16:05,195
But I've already
Called in sick.
427
00:16:05,197 --> 00:16:06,664
I went
With asiatic flu.
428
00:16:06,666 --> 00:16:08,065
Very infectious.
429
00:16:08,067 --> 00:16:10,701
Left untreated,
It could kill me.
430
00:16:10,703 --> 00:16:13,003
You can't just
Keep taking sick days.
431
00:16:13,005 --> 00:16:14,472
Wait a minute.
Is strudwick gonna be
432
00:16:14,474 --> 00:16:15,472
At this lunch?
433
00:16:15,474 --> 00:16:16,473
Well, the last time
I talked to him,
434
00:16:16,475 --> 00:16:17,474
He said he would be.
435
00:16:17,476 --> 00:16:19,243
Spare me your
Pillow talk, mary.
436
00:16:19,245 --> 00:16:20,244
I'm going
To that lunch, too.
437
00:16:20,246 --> 00:16:21,312
You can't!
438
00:16:21,314 --> 00:16:22,880
You're pretending
To be sick, remember?
439
00:16:22,882 --> 00:16:23,981
I'm going anyway.
440
00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:26,718
Oh--I'm sorry, dick.
I've got to go.
441
00:16:26,720 --> 00:16:28,920
You're gonna
Lose me, mary!
442
00:16:28,922 --> 00:16:30,621
A good-looking man
Alone in the streets
443
00:16:30,623 --> 00:16:35,059
With an empty rickshaw--
You're gonna lose me!
444
00:16:35,061 --> 00:16:36,761
I've lost her.
445
00:16:40,833 --> 00:16:42,433
So, at first,
We thought that there
446
00:16:42,435 --> 00:16:44,402
Were just 5 puppies,
447
00:16:44,404 --> 00:16:45,736
But it turns out
That there were--
448
00:16:45,738 --> 00:16:47,505
Now get this--
449
00:16:47,507 --> 00:16:49,140
6.
450
00:16:51,277 --> 00:16:54,545
Riveting.
451
00:16:54,547 --> 00:16:56,881
You should have seen
Harry holding them.
452
00:16:56,883 --> 00:16:58,783
He was so sweet.
453
00:16:58,785 --> 00:17:01,385
Yeah, not like
That jerk steve.
454
00:17:01,387 --> 00:17:02,853
Steve?
455
00:17:02,855 --> 00:17:06,056
Yeah, you know,
Your cheating ex-boyfriend.
456
00:17:06,058 --> 00:17:07,425
I never told you
About steve.
457
00:17:07,427 --> 00:17:08,692
How do you
Know about him?
458
00:17:08,694 --> 00:17:10,194
Ahh, it just
Got good again.
459
00:17:10,196 --> 00:17:12,263
Shh, let's listen.
460
00:17:12,265 --> 00:17:14,699
Andrea, my relationship
461
00:17:14,701 --> 00:17:16,901
With you is based
On the truth,
462
00:17:16,903 --> 00:17:19,437
And I've decided that
I will never lie to you.
463
00:17:19,439 --> 00:17:20,905
Lie about what,
Harry?
464
00:17:20,907 --> 00:17:22,206
Oh, my god,
He's gonna tell her.
465
00:17:22,208 --> 00:17:24,075
Oh, no, I gotta go
To the bathroom!
466
00:17:24,077 --> 00:17:25,309
Can we pause it?
467
00:17:25,311 --> 00:17:28,078
No. It's live.
468
00:17:28,080 --> 00:17:30,347
During the past few days,
469
00:17:30,349 --> 00:17:32,616
We've been listening
To your phone conversations
470
00:17:32,618 --> 00:17:34,018
Over this scanner.
471
00:17:34,020 --> 00:17:35,719
Oooh.
Oooh.
472
00:17:35,721 --> 00:17:37,588
You've been listening to
My private conversations?
473
00:17:37,590 --> 00:17:38,989
We know about steve
474
00:17:38,991 --> 00:17:42,126
And your time
With the moonies.
475
00:17:42,128 --> 00:17:45,229
Oh, my god!
I feel so violated!
476
00:17:45,231 --> 00:17:48,132
Don't be!
We're big fans!
477
00:17:48,134 --> 00:17:50,401
We love
What you do.
478
00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:51,669
Hey, guys,
What's going on?
479
00:17:51,671 --> 00:17:54,271
Oh, officer,
Thank god.
480
00:17:54,273 --> 00:17:56,006
These weirdos
Have been listening
481
00:17:56,008 --> 00:17:57,808
To my private
Conversations
482
00:17:57,810 --> 00:17:59,110
On this scanner.
483
00:17:59,112 --> 00:18:02,246
Hey, my scanner!
Thanks, guys.
484
00:18:02,248 --> 00:18:03,414
Oh, my god,
You're all in
485
00:18:03,416 --> 00:18:05,550
On this together.
486
00:18:05,552 --> 00:18:07,151
You people
Are freaks!
487
00:18:08,855 --> 00:18:10,488
Freaks!
488
00:18:12,758 --> 00:18:15,593
Bravo!
Yes!
489
00:18:15,595 --> 00:18:18,495
[both cheering]
490
00:18:18,497 --> 00:18:19,496
Yes!
491
00:18:19,498 --> 00:18:21,899
Yes, you as well,
My friend!
492
00:18:28,908 --> 00:18:30,441
[tapping knife
Against glass]
493
00:18:30,443 --> 00:18:32,042
Excuse me.
494
00:18:32,044 --> 00:18:34,111
Before you all
Go back to your classes,
495
00:18:34,113 --> 00:18:36,147
I just want to say
One thing:
496
00:18:36,149 --> 00:18:39,116
The centerpieces
Are not take-homes.
497
00:18:41,187 --> 00:18:42,586
Chancellor.
498
00:18:42,588 --> 00:18:44,788
Good afternoon,
Everyone.
499
00:18:46,526 --> 00:18:51,428
I'm sorry I'm late.
500
00:18:51,430 --> 00:18:54,265
A mere 2 hours ago,
I was on my deathbed,
501
00:18:54,267 --> 00:18:57,334
But then I realized
That pendelton comes first.
502
00:18:57,336 --> 00:18:59,403
That's why
I'm revoking my sick day
503
00:18:59,405 --> 00:19:01,138
To be here with you.
504
00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:03,774
Hey, dickie,
I thought you were out sick.
505
00:19:03,776 --> 00:19:05,643
Well, I'm here now,
So get out of my seat.
506
00:19:05,645 --> 00:19:06,877
I'm not budging.
507
00:19:06,879 --> 00:19:08,879
Just sit down,
Dick, sit down!
508
00:19:08,881 --> 00:19:10,114
Hey, hey, hey!
509
00:19:10,116 --> 00:19:12,216
Hey, what's
All the commotion?
510
00:19:12,218 --> 00:19:13,684
I'll tell you
What the commotion is.
511
00:19:13,686 --> 00:19:16,019
This bearded snake
Took a sick day off
512
00:19:16,021 --> 00:19:18,356
Without even being sick
And spent the day
513
00:19:18,358 --> 00:19:19,490
Ballooning
Over rutherford
514
00:19:19,492 --> 00:19:22,693
With my girlfriend
And my fried chicken!
515
00:19:22,695 --> 00:19:24,695
Go home! Your fever
Is making you say
516
00:19:24,697 --> 00:19:25,963
Crazy things.
517
00:19:25,965 --> 00:19:27,464
You're not even
Supposed to be here!
518
00:19:27,466 --> 00:19:29,600
You have asiatic
Flu, remember?
519
00:19:29,602 --> 00:19:32,002
Asiatic flu?
That's highly contagious!
520
00:19:32,004 --> 00:19:33,236
He should stay home
For a week.
521
00:19:33,238 --> 00:19:34,438
Oh, you'd just love
To have me out
522
00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:35,839
Of the way,
Wouldn't you?
523
00:19:35,841 --> 00:19:37,642
Dick, the entire faculty's
In this room.
524
00:19:37,644 --> 00:19:39,310
I want you to go home
Immediately.
525
00:19:39,312 --> 00:19:41,111
Bye-bye, dick.
Feel better.
526
00:19:41,113 --> 00:19:42,346
Fine!
527
00:19:42,348 --> 00:19:43,748
But if I'm
Going home, strudwick,
528
00:19:43,750 --> 00:19:44,881
You're going home, too.
529
00:19:44,883 --> 00:19:45,950
What? I'm not sick.
530
00:19:45,952 --> 00:19:49,420
Oh, no? Say hello
To the asiatic flu!
531
00:19:56,629 --> 00:19:58,462
What is wrong
With you?!
532
00:19:58,464 --> 00:19:59,730
Are you insane?!
533
00:19:59,732 --> 00:20:01,798
Why the hell
Did you do that?!
534
00:20:01,800 --> 00:20:03,400
You're not sick!
535
00:20:03,402 --> 00:20:05,002
Yes, I am.
536
00:20:08,007 --> 00:20:09,940
Oh, my god!
No, I'm not!
537
00:20:09,942 --> 00:20:11,708
Then why--oh!
538
00:20:11,710 --> 00:20:14,412
Why did I use my tongue?
539
00:20:20,086 --> 00:20:21,218
Too bad things
Didn't work out
540
00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:22,320
With you and andrea.
541
00:20:22,322 --> 00:20:24,388
Women.
542
00:20:24,390 --> 00:20:26,023
They say they want
Honesty in a relationship,
543
00:20:26,025 --> 00:20:27,624
But they don't want
To know when you've been
544
00:20:27,626 --> 00:20:30,294
Eavesdropping on them.
545
00:20:30,296 --> 00:20:31,629
They want it
Both ways.
546
00:20:31,631 --> 00:20:34,999
Yeah,
We make me sick.
547
00:20:35,001 --> 00:20:37,001
Well, I wasn't
Real honest about being
548
00:20:37,003 --> 00:20:38,235
Sick and everything,
549
00:20:38,237 --> 00:20:40,237
But it all turned out
Pretty well for me.
550
00:20:40,239 --> 00:20:41,238
You said that
The chancellor
551
00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:42,673
Took away all
Your sick days.
552
00:20:42,675 --> 00:20:47,611
Yeah, but he gave me
6 mental health days.
553
00:20:47,613 --> 00:20:49,279
And they're mandatory.
554
00:20:49,281 --> 00:20:50,314
6 mental health
Days?
555
00:20:50,316 --> 00:20:51,582
What are you
Gonna do?
556
00:20:51,584 --> 00:20:53,117
Well, I'm required
To see a doctor
557
00:20:53,119 --> 00:20:54,719
In the morning,
But in the afternoon,
558
00:20:54,721 --> 00:20:56,854
I'm gonna go back
To the go-cart track.
559
00:20:56,856 --> 00:20:58,289
I'm gonna try to
Jump the hay bales
560
00:20:58,291 --> 00:21:00,991
And take that baby
Out onto the open road.
39529
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