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1
00:00:01,768 --> 00:00:04,403
Previously on
"3rd rock from the sun"...
2
00:00:04,405 --> 00:00:05,737
To reevaluate
Your mission,
3
00:00:05,739 --> 00:00:08,240
The big giant head
Is on his way to earth!
4
00:00:08,242 --> 00:00:10,308
Lieutenant, you are
Now officially...
5
00:00:10,310 --> 00:00:12,277
The new
High commander.
6
00:00:12,279 --> 00:00:14,445
You've reawakened
The woman in me.
7
00:00:16,283 --> 00:00:17,982
I think
I might be...
8
00:00:17,984 --> 00:00:19,051
Pregnant.
9
00:00:19,053 --> 00:00:20,052
Aah!
10
00:00:20,054 --> 00:00:21,953
Whoa, look at the time.
11
00:00:21,955 --> 00:00:23,555
I gotta get going.
12
00:00:24,625 --> 00:00:25,958
Come on, vicki,
Push.
13
00:00:25,960 --> 00:00:26,959
I--I can't.
14
00:00:26,961 --> 00:00:28,860
Yes, you can.
Push!
15
00:00:28,862 --> 00:00:30,328
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
16
00:00:30,330 --> 00:00:32,330
Maybe it doesn't
Wanna come out!
17
00:00:32,332 --> 00:00:34,666
Let's not
Rush things, ok?
18
00:00:34,668 --> 00:00:36,668
Here, let me
Just slide that
19
00:00:36,670 --> 00:00:38,704
Right back
In there for ya.
20
00:00:38,706 --> 00:00:41,139
[hoarsely]
You touch me...
21
00:00:41,141 --> 00:00:43,342
You die!
22
00:00:43,344 --> 00:00:45,110
[snarls]
23
00:00:45,112 --> 00:00:47,745
One more push,
Vicki.
24
00:00:47,747 --> 00:00:49,081
[grunts] Unh! Ah!
Push...
25
00:00:49,083 --> 00:00:50,182
Here it comes!
26
00:00:50,184 --> 00:00:51,183
Aah!
27
00:00:51,185 --> 00:00:52,317
There we are!
28
00:00:52,319 --> 00:00:54,019
Oh...
29
00:00:54,021 --> 00:00:55,020
Aah!
30
00:00:55,022 --> 00:00:56,522
Uh--uh--
I mean,
31
00:00:56,524 --> 00:00:58,223
Ah ah...
32
00:01:00,494 --> 00:01:03,194
Please
Let it be human.
33
00:01:03,196 --> 00:01:04,530
Let it be human.
34
00:01:04,532 --> 00:01:05,531
Sit down.
35
00:01:05,533 --> 00:01:07,699
You can't
Tell me
What to do.
36
00:01:07,701 --> 00:01:09,635
Oh, yes, I can.
37
00:01:09,637 --> 00:01:12,304
The big giant head made
Me high commander.
38
00:01:12,306 --> 00:01:14,339
Oh, right. A drunken lout
From a distant galaxy
39
00:01:14,341 --> 00:01:15,940
Got an eyeful of
Your righteous jugs
40
00:01:15,942 --> 00:01:18,443
And promoted you.
41
00:01:18,445 --> 00:01:20,545
You know, that's
Funny. As I recall,
42
00:01:20,547 --> 00:01:21,579
He promoted me
43
00:01:21,581 --> 00:01:22,914
Because your leadership
Was a debacle!
44
00:01:22,916 --> 00:01:24,115
Dick: he was
Totally wasted--
45
00:01:24,117 --> 00:01:25,584
He's our supreme
Leader, and--
46
00:01:25,586 --> 00:01:28,753
Hey, hey. We're disturbing
All these people here.
47
00:01:28,755 --> 00:01:30,555
We're only human.
48
00:01:30,557 --> 00:01:32,991
He's my brother.
We fight!
49
00:01:32,993 --> 00:01:34,426
I'm all right.
I'm all right.
50
00:01:37,030 --> 00:01:39,030
What happened,
Harry?
51
00:01:39,032 --> 00:01:42,234
It...Came...Out!
52
00:01:42,236 --> 00:01:43,502
Is it
A purple tube?
53
00:01:43,504 --> 00:01:45,571
Well, it's purple,
And it's slimy,
54
00:01:45,573 --> 00:01:47,238
And it's got a hose.
55
00:01:47,240 --> 00:01:48,673
A hose?!
A hose?!
56
00:01:48,675 --> 00:01:50,342
Oh, great.
It's a mutant!
57
00:01:50,344 --> 00:01:52,444
All right. We'll kidnap him
And hide him.
58
00:01:52,446 --> 00:01:54,712
When he's a teenager,
We'll set him free.
59
00:01:54,714 --> 00:01:55,780
Then if he's really
Messed up,
60
00:01:55,782 --> 00:01:58,150
We can blame it
On television.
61
00:01:58,152 --> 00:01:59,818
Ok.
Good.
62
00:01:59,820 --> 00:02:01,219
They just brought him
To the nursery.
63
00:02:01,221 --> 00:02:03,154
He is positively
Glowing!
64
00:02:03,156 --> 00:02:05,190
Oh!
Ah...
65
00:02:05,192 --> 00:02:08,026
Now he's glowin'.
66
00:02:08,028 --> 00:02:10,395
Let's go see him!
He's got vicki's eyes!
67
00:02:10,397 --> 00:02:13,297
What's he doing
With vicki's eyes?
68
00:02:13,299 --> 00:02:17,269
I just hope he's not eating
Them. Let's go!
69
00:02:17,271 --> 00:02:18,603
Which one
Is he?
70
00:02:18,605 --> 00:02:20,605
It must be him.
He's hideous.
71
00:02:20,607 --> 00:02:21,940
Hey. That's
My daughter.
72
00:02:21,942 --> 00:02:24,042
Oh, I'm--
73
00:02:24,044 --> 00:02:25,643
I'm so sorry.
74
00:02:25,645 --> 00:02:27,011
She's hideous.
75
00:02:28,215 --> 00:02:30,382
Oh, that's him
Right there!
76
00:02:30,384 --> 00:02:31,416
[gasps]
77
00:02:31,418 --> 00:02:33,151
Dick:
Oh, my god!
78
00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:34,653
Sally: look at it.
79
00:02:34,655 --> 00:02:36,087
Tommy: it's so cute!
80
00:02:36,089 --> 00:02:38,657
Vicki's baby
Is a...Baby!
81
00:02:38,659 --> 00:02:39,991
[cheers]
82
00:02:39,993 --> 00:02:41,560
Thank you!
83
00:02:41,562 --> 00:02:42,761
Ah ha ha!
84
00:03:21,235 --> 00:03:26,104
Yeah, that's right. Last name
Dubcek. First name victoria.
85
00:03:26,106 --> 00:03:27,573
Mm-hmm.
86
00:03:27,575 --> 00:03:30,742
Oh, yeah, no,
The baby's right here.
87
00:03:30,744 --> 00:03:33,878
Yeah, his name
Is eric travis.
88
00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:35,447
Yeah!
89
00:03:35,449 --> 00:03:38,317
All right, well, when
He gets back from lunch,
90
00:03:38,319 --> 00:03:41,186
Just tell him that I was
Implanted by alien seed.
91
00:03:41,188 --> 00:03:42,187
[shrilly] Oh!
92
00:03:42,189 --> 00:03:44,189
Yeah. And I am now
The mother
93
00:03:44,191 --> 00:03:46,257
Of a hybrid alien race.
94
00:03:48,229 --> 00:03:49,661
Thanks a lot, hon.
Bye-bye.
95
00:03:54,634 --> 00:03:56,134
Wrong number?
96
00:03:56,136 --> 00:03:59,638
No, harry, I was trying
To talk to a reporter.
97
00:03:59,640 --> 00:04:00,973
Oh, really?
98
00:04:00,975 --> 00:04:03,308
I think he's gonna
Be mighty interested
99
00:04:03,310 --> 00:04:06,244
In my tale of
Alien conception.
100
00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:08,313
Oh, ho.
Alien conception.
101
00:04:08,315 --> 00:04:10,082
Ha ha ha!
102
00:04:10,084 --> 00:04:12,918
I'm goin' to the store.
You need anything?
103
00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:15,887
Oh, baby, I would love
Another carton of cigarettes.
104
00:04:15,889 --> 00:04:19,057
Sure. Smokin'
For two now.
105
00:04:24,298 --> 00:04:26,298
Ok, how does
This sound?
106
00:04:26,300 --> 00:04:28,767
"Born to victoria
Marie dubcek,
107
00:04:28,769 --> 00:04:31,269
A healthy,
Totally human son."
108
00:04:32,639 --> 00:04:34,706
Well,
Add illegitimate.
109
00:04:34,708 --> 00:04:36,374
I think she'd
Appreciate that.
110
00:04:36,376 --> 00:04:38,310
That's
A nice touch.
111
00:04:38,312 --> 00:04:40,312
Hey, sally,
What's for dinner?
I'm starving.
112
00:04:40,314 --> 00:04:41,546
I don't make dinner.
113
00:04:41,548 --> 00:04:44,148
I'm the high commander.
I have bigger fish to fry.
114
00:04:44,150 --> 00:04:45,383
If it's bigger
Than sea bass,
115
00:04:45,385 --> 00:04:47,118
I won't eat it.
116
00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:49,321
You guys,
I'm not cooking, ok?
117
00:04:49,323 --> 00:04:50,422
I mean, I can't
Be distracted
118
00:04:50,424 --> 00:04:51,889
By household chores.
119
00:04:51,891 --> 00:04:53,358
I think the high commander
Has a point.
120
00:04:53,360 --> 00:04:54,926
Both: thank you!
121
00:04:57,631 --> 00:04:59,697
Hey, harry,
Where you been?
122
00:04:59,699 --> 00:05:00,999
Oh,
At the hospital.
123
00:05:01,001 --> 00:05:02,000
How's vicki?
124
00:05:02,002 --> 00:05:05,137
Oh, proud.
125
00:05:05,139 --> 00:05:06,304
Proud, proud, proud,
Proud,
126
00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:08,173
Proud-proud-
Proud-proud-proud.
127
00:05:08,175 --> 00:05:09,440
Callin' up everybody and
Telling 'em
128
00:05:09,442 --> 00:05:11,075
All about
Little eric travis.
129
00:05:11,077 --> 00:05:12,076
That is nice.
130
00:05:12,078 --> 00:05:13,111
Hey!
131
00:05:13,113 --> 00:05:15,279
I got an idea!
132
00:05:15,281 --> 00:05:16,581
Just a what if.
133
00:05:16,583 --> 00:05:17,949
You know how
We're always saying
134
00:05:17,951 --> 00:05:18,983
That we should
Tell everybody
135
00:05:18,985 --> 00:05:20,185
That we're aliens?
136
00:05:20,187 --> 00:05:21,186
We never say that.
137
00:05:21,188 --> 00:05:22,921
Right!
138
00:05:22,923 --> 00:05:25,523
So if we bump into,
Oh, I don't know,
139
00:05:25,525 --> 00:05:26,692
Say a reporter--
140
00:05:26,694 --> 00:05:28,460
And we've got this
Cute little baby
141
00:05:28,462 --> 00:05:30,127
With its proud
Alien heritage--
142
00:05:30,129 --> 00:05:31,796
I mean,
Think about it!
143
00:05:31,798 --> 00:05:33,598
Everybody
Loves babies nowadays.
144
00:05:33,600 --> 00:05:36,734
I mean, what better time
For us to come clean
145
00:05:36,736 --> 00:05:38,437
About who we really are?
146
00:05:38,439 --> 00:05:40,371
Are you insane?
147
00:05:40,373 --> 00:05:42,341
Where did you get
Such a stupid idea?
148
00:05:42,343 --> 00:05:44,008
Ha ha! I don't know.
149
00:05:44,010 --> 00:05:45,577
[knock on door]
150
00:05:45,579 --> 00:05:46,578
Come in!
151
00:05:46,580 --> 00:05:47,645
Door's open!
152
00:05:49,083 --> 00:05:51,083
Hello. I'm looking
For a, uh...
153
00:05:51,085 --> 00:05:53,118
Victoria dubcek?
154
00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:55,220
I'm ken fretts
Of the "World globe."
155
00:05:55,222 --> 00:05:57,656
I got a call
From this dubcek lady
156
00:05:57,658 --> 00:06:00,458
About an alien baby?
157
00:06:00,460 --> 00:06:02,460
Family meeting.
Family meeting!
158
00:06:04,765 --> 00:06:06,264
We have
A problem here.
159
00:06:06,266 --> 00:06:07,265
No, no, no.
We're fine.
160
00:06:07,267 --> 00:06:08,300
We all saw it.
161
00:06:08,302 --> 00:06:10,134
It's human.
It's not a threat.
162
00:06:10,136 --> 00:06:11,202
Well, maybe it isn't.
163
00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:12,771
But vicki remembers
Being in the spaceship!
164
00:06:12,773 --> 00:06:14,239
If he talks to her,
We're screwed!
165
00:06:14,241 --> 00:06:15,373
This guy's no idiot.
166
00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:17,909
He works for
The "World globe!"
167
00:06:17,911 --> 00:06:19,043
These guys
Don't quit
168
00:06:19,045 --> 00:06:20,044
Till they get
Their story.
169
00:06:20,046 --> 00:06:21,713
Did you see the
Pictures of that man
170
00:06:21,715 --> 00:06:24,416
With
The 50-pound wart?
171
00:06:24,418 --> 00:06:25,450
Shots like that
Just don't fall
172
00:06:25,452 --> 00:06:26,785
Into your lap!
173
00:06:26,787 --> 00:06:28,586
Uh, look, could you
Just give her my card?
174
00:06:28,588 --> 00:06:29,587
Tell her I'll
Come back tomorrow.
175
00:06:29,589 --> 00:06:32,624
Ok.
Have a nice day.
176
00:06:32,626 --> 00:06:34,259
All right. I've got
A great plan.
177
00:06:34,261 --> 00:06:35,693
Wait. I have
A brilliant plan.
178
00:06:35,695 --> 00:06:36,727
We all hide somewhere
179
00:06:36,729 --> 00:06:37,795
Until this whole thing
Blows over.
180
00:06:37,797 --> 00:06:39,864
Damn it!
What?
181
00:06:39,866 --> 00:06:42,300
That is
A brilliant plan.
182
00:06:45,939 --> 00:06:48,005
[car chase,
Tires screech]
183
00:06:48,007 --> 00:06:51,208
[shouts] Yeah! Dr. Davies
Told me about the meeting,
184
00:06:51,210 --> 00:06:53,778
But this
Is not a good time!
185
00:06:53,780 --> 00:06:55,179
Hold on.
186
00:06:55,181 --> 00:06:57,648
Can you turn that down?!
187
00:06:57,650 --> 00:06:59,150
[turns off
Television]
188
00:06:59,152 --> 00:07:01,752
Don't you have
A phone at home?
189
00:07:03,223 --> 00:07:05,490
I'll call you back.
190
00:07:07,994 --> 00:07:11,329
How long are you guys
Going to be living here?
191
00:07:13,099 --> 00:07:14,299
Well, why?
192
00:07:14,301 --> 00:07:16,601
You're not thinking
About moving in, are ya?
193
00:07:16,603 --> 00:07:21,005
Why is there laundry
Hanging in the hallway?
194
00:07:21,007 --> 00:07:23,442
Because you don't put
Rayon in the dryer.
195
00:07:25,812 --> 00:07:28,379
Tommy: hey!
I'm naked here!
196
00:07:30,384 --> 00:07:32,451
All right.
I'm taking a personal day.
197
00:07:34,621 --> 00:07:35,620
[knock knock knock]
198
00:07:35,622 --> 00:07:37,388
Hello!
199
00:07:37,390 --> 00:07:38,623
How did you
Find us?
200
00:07:38,625 --> 00:07:40,959
I found this note
On your door.
201
00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:42,326
"Dear friends, mormons,
202
00:07:42,328 --> 00:07:45,329
"And jehovah's witnesses.
203
00:07:45,331 --> 00:07:47,032
"We are now living
In huff hall
204
00:07:47,034 --> 00:07:48,700
"At pendleton university.
205
00:07:48,702 --> 00:07:52,037
Please don't tell
Any reporters where we are"?
206
00:07:53,340 --> 00:07:54,638
Does anybody
Have any info
207
00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:55,974
On this dubcek baby?
208
00:07:55,976 --> 00:07:57,142
Anybody seen it?
209
00:07:57,144 --> 00:07:58,677
All: no.
210
00:07:58,679 --> 00:07:59,877
[all mumbling]
211
00:07:59,879 --> 00:08:01,612
Is something going on
With the baby?
212
00:08:01,614 --> 00:08:03,681
No, mary!
213
00:08:03,683 --> 00:08:05,183
It's the...
214
00:08:05,185 --> 00:08:06,384
First baby of
The millennium!
215
00:08:06,386 --> 00:08:08,853
And people like
To make a fuss.
216
00:08:08,855 --> 00:08:11,256
The millennium's
Months away.
217
00:08:11,258 --> 00:08:14,492
That's not for you
To decide, mary.
218
00:08:14,494 --> 00:08:17,028
Look, I just have
One or two questions--
219
00:08:17,030 --> 00:08:19,030
Me, too!
Who wants ice cream,
220
00:08:19,032 --> 00:08:20,432
And who wants it
Now?!
221
00:08:20,434 --> 00:08:21,766
All: I do! I do!
222
00:08:24,871 --> 00:08:26,771
Ok. This guy
Is good.
223
00:08:26,773 --> 00:08:28,006
What are we gonna do?
224
00:08:28,008 --> 00:08:29,007
Ok, I have
A plan.
225
00:08:29,009 --> 00:08:30,008
No, I have
A plan!
226
00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:31,209
Damn it, sally,
I have a plan!
227
00:08:31,211 --> 00:08:32,210
Ok, ok, ok.
228
00:08:32,212 --> 00:08:33,878
Call it in the air.
229
00:08:33,880 --> 00:08:35,013
Quarter.
Nickel.
230
00:08:36,416 --> 00:08:38,416
Quarter it is.
Dick, you go first.
231
00:08:38,418 --> 00:08:39,517
Ok, look.
232
00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:41,252
He's got no baby,
He's got no story.
233
00:08:41,254 --> 00:08:42,620
We go to the hospital,
Steal the baby,
234
00:08:42,622 --> 00:08:43,855
And destroy the records.
235
00:08:43,857 --> 00:08:44,889
Sally, your turn?
236
00:08:44,891 --> 00:08:49,160
That--that's what
I was gonna say.
237
00:08:49,162 --> 00:08:50,161
Is this him?
238
00:08:50,163 --> 00:08:53,331
Uh, n-too beefy.
239
00:08:53,333 --> 00:08:54,432
How 'bout
This guy?
240
00:08:54,434 --> 00:08:55,433
Uh, yeah.
241
00:08:55,435 --> 00:08:57,868
Little less
Chinese, maybe.
242
00:08:57,870 --> 00:08:59,070
Here.
243
00:08:59,072 --> 00:09:00,538
Mama, what are
Ya doin'?
244
00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:02,373
He's too hot
In that blanket.
245
00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:03,474
He is not!
246
00:09:03,476 --> 00:09:05,910
You sure do know
All there is to know
247
00:09:05,912 --> 00:09:08,346
About raising babies,
Don't you?
248
00:09:08,348 --> 00:09:09,814
That's him!
249
00:09:09,816 --> 00:09:10,748
Wait--
250
00:09:13,586 --> 00:09:16,554
Anyone remember
Where these things go?
251
00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:19,891
Well, we know the ugly one
Goes in the corner--
252
00:09:19,893 --> 00:09:21,893
Does it really matter?
I mean...
253
00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:23,862
They can sort it out
Later with the dna.
254
00:09:23,864 --> 00:09:24,863
Sally:
I don't know--
255
00:09:24,865 --> 00:09:26,230
Hi, don!
256
00:09:30,603 --> 00:09:33,304
We found some babies!
257
00:09:37,844 --> 00:09:40,178
Don, those babies were
Completely disorganized.
258
00:09:40,180 --> 00:09:42,814
Which is why we were
Alphabeticizing them.
259
00:09:42,816 --> 00:09:44,148
Yeah. Come on, don.
260
00:09:44,150 --> 00:09:45,483
Look me
Straight in the eye
261
00:09:45,485 --> 00:09:46,484
And tell me that
You would not have done
262
00:09:46,486 --> 00:09:48,453
The same thing!
263
00:09:48,455 --> 00:09:50,956
Well, I--I guess
I can see--
264
00:09:50,958 --> 00:09:52,123
No!
265
00:09:52,125 --> 00:09:55,460
Sally, I can only get
You out of so many jams!
266
00:09:55,462 --> 00:09:58,129
Juggling newborns
Is against the law!
267
00:10:01,768 --> 00:10:03,634
Are you sure?
268
00:10:03,636 --> 00:10:05,736
Juggling
269
00:10:05,738 --> 00:10:07,204
Newborns.
270
00:10:07,206 --> 00:10:09,373
So what are you
Gonna do, arrest me?
271
00:10:09,375 --> 00:10:11,509
Sally, I did
Arrest you.
272
00:10:11,511 --> 00:10:13,010
Why?
273
00:10:13,012 --> 00:10:14,712
Juggling
274
00:10:14,714 --> 00:10:16,214
Newborns!
275
00:10:16,216 --> 00:10:17,214
I...
276
00:10:17,216 --> 00:10:19,850
Get outta here!
277
00:10:19,852 --> 00:10:21,853
It's morley
Freakin' safer!
278
00:10:21,855 --> 00:10:24,021
So wha--what
Are you doing here?
279
00:10:24,023 --> 00:10:25,389
Oh, my car got towed.
280
00:10:25,391 --> 00:10:27,058
I was parked
In an ambulance zone
281
00:10:27,060 --> 00:10:28,059
Waiting for
That dubcek lady
282
00:10:28,061 --> 00:10:29,059
To check out.
283
00:10:29,061 --> 00:10:30,494
Ah, well.
Good luck.
284
00:10:30,496 --> 00:10:32,329
Say, you're not trying to
Hide her from me, are you?
285
00:10:32,331 --> 00:10:33,330
We're not gonna
Tell you anything
286
00:10:33,332 --> 00:10:34,465
About vicki dubcek.
287
00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:35,466
Who's vicki dubcek?
288
00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:36,467
Vicki who?
What?
289
00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:37,469
Who said that?
290
00:10:37,471 --> 00:10:39,069
I dunno.
Wait! Shh!
291
00:10:39,071 --> 00:10:40,838
I think it's
Coming from
Outside.
292
00:10:40,840 --> 00:10:41,839
Let's check it out!
293
00:10:41,841 --> 00:10:43,908
Could I--
All: shh!
294
00:10:43,910 --> 00:10:45,410
Shh!
Shh!
295
00:10:49,449 --> 00:10:51,148
All: run!
296
00:10:57,490 --> 00:10:59,490
A military unit
Can only succeed
297
00:10:59,492 --> 00:11:01,626
If it follows
A single leader.
298
00:11:01,628 --> 00:11:03,527
It has...Until now
299
00:11:03,529 --> 00:11:05,863
Been my privilege
To be that leader.
300
00:11:05,865 --> 00:11:08,733
But today, sally,
I pass that baton
301
00:11:08,735 --> 00:11:10,868
To you.
302
00:11:10,870 --> 00:11:13,571
You mean
The baton
303
00:11:13,573 --> 00:11:16,207
I've had
For 3 days?
304
00:11:16,209 --> 00:11:18,842
Yes, that baton.
305
00:11:18,844 --> 00:11:20,845
Ok, then.
306
00:11:20,847 --> 00:11:23,247
I cannot be both
Security officer
307
00:11:23,249 --> 00:11:24,916
And high commander.
308
00:11:24,918 --> 00:11:27,385
Therefore, the job
Of security officer
309
00:11:27,387 --> 00:11:28,853
Falls to you, dick.
310
00:11:28,855 --> 00:11:31,989
Security officer?
That's a girly job!
311
00:11:31,991 --> 00:11:33,157
That's an order!
312
00:11:33,159 --> 00:11:34,258
Fine.
313
00:11:35,395 --> 00:11:37,027
All right!
314
00:11:37,029 --> 00:11:38,529
I have a new plan!
315
00:11:39,666 --> 00:11:41,499
We just stay calm...
316
00:11:41,501 --> 00:11:44,502
And we disassociate
Ourselves from vicki.
317
00:11:44,504 --> 00:11:45,503
Got it. Stay away
From vicki.
318
00:11:45,505 --> 00:11:46,537
No vicki.
No vicki.
319
00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:48,305
No vicki.
No vicki.
320
00:11:48,307 --> 00:11:49,607
No-o-o vicki.
321
00:11:49,609 --> 00:11:50,608
No vicki.
322
00:11:50,610 --> 00:11:52,009
Ahem.
323
00:11:54,013 --> 00:11:55,913
Hello, vicki.
324
00:11:55,915 --> 00:11:57,048
Security.
325
00:11:59,452 --> 00:12:01,319
Security!
326
00:12:01,321 --> 00:12:02,720
Eh--oh!
327
00:12:04,357 --> 00:12:06,858
What are you
Doing here?
328
00:12:06,860 --> 00:12:09,227
Well, since my mother
Insists on telling me
329
00:12:09,229 --> 00:12:11,229
How to raise
My own baby,
330
00:12:11,231 --> 00:12:13,465
I've just decided
To move in with y'all.
331
00:12:13,467 --> 00:12:16,133
Vicki, this
Is our home.
332
00:12:16,135 --> 00:12:18,603
True, we rent from
Your slattern mother,
333
00:12:18,605 --> 00:12:21,072
The town siphon,
334
00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:22,674
But that does not
Entitle you
335
00:12:22,676 --> 00:12:25,176
To impose yourself
On...
336
00:12:27,713 --> 00:12:30,414
[gibberish]
337
00:12:30,416 --> 00:12:32,316
We'll be
Leaving now!
338
00:12:35,622 --> 00:12:38,589
Look, vicki,
I-if it's just--
339
00:12:41,661 --> 00:12:44,295
It's not
A really good...
340
00:12:44,297 --> 00:12:47,164
Ah! That's
How they work!
341
00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:50,934
Yeah, you know,
Breast feeding
342
00:12:50,936 --> 00:12:52,936
Is the most beautiful,
Natural thing
343
00:12:52,938 --> 00:12:54,539
A woman can do.
344
00:12:54,541 --> 00:12:56,440
I guess you wouldn't
Know that, would you?
345
00:12:56,442 --> 00:12:59,877
You bein' childless.
346
00:12:59,879 --> 00:13:01,679
I had the opportunity.
347
00:13:01,681 --> 00:13:05,049
I just chose to put
My career first, ok?
348
00:13:06,686 --> 00:13:08,820
Look, vicki, this is
Just not a good time
349
00:13:08,822 --> 00:13:10,187
For us to have
Houseguests.
350
00:13:10,189 --> 00:13:12,356
Honey, I'm not gonna
Be here that long.
351
00:13:12,358 --> 00:13:13,658
I've gotta hang around
Long enough to talk
352
00:13:13,660 --> 00:13:16,193
To this reporter
Associate of mine,
353
00:13:16,195 --> 00:13:19,396
Then I'll probably do
The talk show circuit...
354
00:13:19,398 --> 00:13:22,333
Just me
And eric travis...
355
00:13:22,335 --> 00:13:24,468
My little e.T.
356
00:13:29,042 --> 00:13:30,174
Ok. Ahem!
357
00:13:30,176 --> 00:13:31,376
A little adjust
To our plans.
358
00:13:31,378 --> 00:13:32,843
It looks like we're
Stuck with vicki,
359
00:13:32,845 --> 00:13:33,978
So, dick,
360
00:13:33,980 --> 00:13:35,280
You're gonna have to
Take out the reporter.
361
00:13:35,282 --> 00:13:40,451
Ok. Dinner and a movie,
But I won't kiss him.
362
00:13:40,453 --> 00:13:42,553
I meant kill him.
363
00:13:42,555 --> 00:13:43,887
Kill him? Wha--
364
00:13:43,889 --> 00:13:45,856
I can't do that!
It's wrong!
365
00:13:45,858 --> 00:13:48,025
Do it!
That's an order!
366
00:13:48,027 --> 00:13:49,961
Oh, all right.
367
00:13:49,963 --> 00:13:52,463
Orders are orders.
368
00:13:52,465 --> 00:13:54,432
Yeah, I'll kill him.
369
00:13:54,434 --> 00:13:55,999
I'll kill him good!
370
00:13:57,336 --> 00:13:59,637
Can't I just give him
My patented glare?
371
00:13:59,639 --> 00:14:01,338
It's really scary.
372
00:14:03,543 --> 00:14:04,541
Kill him.
373
00:14:04,543 --> 00:14:06,744
Yeah. Right.
374
00:14:11,784 --> 00:14:14,352
Thank you for,
Uh,
375
00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:15,753
Coming by.
376
00:14:15,755 --> 00:14:18,489
So...
377
00:14:18,491 --> 00:14:20,157
You've got
The inside story
378
00:14:20,159 --> 00:14:21,359
On this
Dubcek baby?
379
00:14:21,361 --> 00:14:24,328
Oh, we'll have
Plenty of time for that.
380
00:14:24,330 --> 00:14:27,431
But first...
381
00:14:27,433 --> 00:14:30,768
I thought you might
Join me in a, uh...
382
00:14:30,770 --> 00:14:33,104
A glass of brandy.
383
00:14:33,106 --> 00:14:34,471
No, thanks.
I'm driving.
384
00:14:34,473 --> 00:14:37,508
Oh, this is special
Driving brandy.
385
00:14:37,510 --> 00:14:39,377
Just try a sip.
386
00:14:52,692 --> 00:14:53,791
You look thirsty.
387
00:14:53,793 --> 00:14:55,192
Why don't you
Drink both?
388
00:14:57,263 --> 00:14:59,430
No, thanks!
389
00:15:00,833 --> 00:15:02,099
So...Tell me
390
00:15:02,101 --> 00:15:04,802
How you got started
In journalism.
391
00:15:04,804 --> 00:15:06,904
Oh, I was working as a
Freelance photographer
392
00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:08,539
In phoenix.
393
00:15:08,541 --> 00:15:11,075
Just so happened
A movie was being shot.
394
00:15:11,077 --> 00:15:13,177
It was one of
The baldwin brothers.
395
00:15:13,179 --> 00:15:15,045
It was--what's that?
396
00:15:15,047 --> 00:15:17,515
This is a, uh...
A poker.
397
00:15:17,517 --> 00:15:19,517
There's a fireplace
In this office,
398
00:15:19,519 --> 00:15:22,353
And this poker
Is proof.
399
00:15:22,355 --> 00:15:24,956
Your story fascinates me.
400
00:15:24,958 --> 00:15:26,757
Which baldwin brother
Was it?
401
00:15:26,759 --> 00:15:28,859
I dunno. It wasn't
The famous one,
402
00:15:28,861 --> 00:15:30,494
The one who married
The blonde.
403
00:15:30,496 --> 00:15:31,996
Not the one who hit
The photographer,
404
00:15:31,998 --> 00:15:33,531
Thank god.
405
00:15:33,533 --> 00:15:35,933
But I got
A picture of him.
406
00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:38,369
Sold it to one of those
Slick magazines--
407
00:15:38,371 --> 00:15:41,038
What the hell
Are you doing?!
408
00:15:41,040 --> 00:15:43,574
Ok, scoop! I'm
Gonna level with you.
409
00:15:43,576 --> 00:15:44,775
You've gotta
Leave town.
410
00:15:44,777 --> 00:15:46,277
What?!
411
00:15:46,279 --> 00:15:48,279
Look, there's
No time for games.
412
00:15:48,281 --> 00:15:51,882
Here is...$32
413
00:15:51,884 --> 00:15:54,818
And a chicken delicious
Coupon.
414
00:15:57,023 --> 00:15:58,722
Don't look back.
415
00:16:03,363 --> 00:16:05,596
Well, I did it.
416
00:16:05,598 --> 00:16:08,666
I have a man's head
In this box...
417
00:16:11,103 --> 00:16:14,204
Which I will now go
Feed to the fishes.
418
00:16:14,206 --> 00:16:16,373
Good work.
419
00:16:16,375 --> 00:16:18,375
Let's...
Have a look at it.
420
00:16:21,080 --> 00:16:22,579
Very well.
421
00:16:22,581 --> 00:16:24,348
But I must warn
You...
422
00:16:24,350 --> 00:16:26,250
It's not pretty.
423
00:16:26,252 --> 00:16:27,185
Ooh!
Eeh!
424
00:16:28,688 --> 00:16:30,688
Oh, I gave it
To him.
425
00:16:30,690 --> 00:16:32,322
I gave it to him
Good, I did.
426
00:16:32,324 --> 00:16:33,991
I'm proud of you, dick.
427
00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:35,826
I didn't think you
Had it in ya.
428
00:16:35,828 --> 00:16:37,394
Yeah, well...
429
00:16:37,396 --> 00:16:39,630
Killers kill.
430
00:16:39,632 --> 00:16:42,066
Ok, where's
The dubcek kid?
431
00:16:43,603 --> 00:16:45,570
Oh, my god!
432
00:16:45,572 --> 00:16:48,172
Then whose head
Is in that box?!
433
00:16:48,174 --> 00:16:51,775
This is a wig
On a cake.
434
00:16:51,777 --> 00:16:53,744
Well, it was going
To be a surprise,
435
00:16:53,746 --> 00:16:55,946
But...Happy
Birthday, sally!
436
00:16:55,948 --> 00:16:57,915
I'll get some plates
And a comb!
437
00:17:00,686 --> 00:17:03,020
Don't let him leave.
438
00:17:05,391 --> 00:17:07,892
You disobeyed
Orders, mister!
439
00:17:07,894 --> 00:17:09,193
I couldn't do it!
440
00:17:09,195 --> 00:17:11,328
Fine. I'll
Kill him myself.
441
00:17:11,330 --> 00:17:13,397
You can't kill him.
You're the high commander.
442
00:17:13,399 --> 00:17:14,398
So?
443
00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:15,933
High commanders
Are forbidden to kill.
444
00:17:15,935 --> 00:17:18,569
They're considered
Upper management.
445
00:17:18,571 --> 00:17:22,240
Fine. I hereby make myself
Security officer.
446
00:17:22,242 --> 00:17:23,608
So you're
Security officer...
447
00:17:23,610 --> 00:17:24,976
And high commander?
448
00:17:24,978 --> 00:17:26,243
Ok. You're high commander.
449
00:17:26,245 --> 00:17:27,278
I'm gonna go kill
That guy.
450
00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:28,412
Got it.
Oh, and by the way,
451
00:17:28,414 --> 00:17:30,047
My first order as
High commander is
452
00:17:30,049 --> 00:17:32,450
That you shall not
Kill that reporter.
453
00:17:32,452 --> 00:17:33,617
No. Then I make myself
High commander again--
454
00:17:33,619 --> 00:17:37,021
Uh, uh, uh.
Can't do that, lieutenant.
455
00:17:37,023 --> 00:17:40,858
Ohhhhh!
456
00:17:40,860 --> 00:17:44,194
You had this planned
All along!
457
00:17:44,196 --> 00:17:46,630
That's why
I'm high commander.
458
00:17:48,267 --> 00:17:50,834
And, no, I didn't!
It just kind of happened!
459
00:17:50,836 --> 00:17:51,835
Guys! Vicki's here.
460
00:17:51,837 --> 00:17:53,504
She's talking
To the reporter!
461
00:17:56,109 --> 00:17:58,009
This is it?
462
00:17:58,011 --> 00:18:00,111
This is the alien
Baby?
463
00:18:00,113 --> 00:18:02,513
Yeah.
464
00:18:02,515 --> 00:18:05,315
You didn't even give him
Any little pointy ears?
465
00:18:05,317 --> 00:18:08,286
Paint him green,
Slap a tail on him?
466
00:18:08,288 --> 00:18:09,420
I don't understand
What you're talking--
467
00:18:09,422 --> 00:18:11,689
Do you even read
Our newspaper?
468
00:18:11,691 --> 00:18:13,357
I--I most
Certainly do!
469
00:18:13,359 --> 00:18:15,393
And my story is--
470
00:18:15,395 --> 00:18:17,094
Oh, I know your story.
471
00:18:17,096 --> 00:18:18,729
You met a guy.
472
00:18:18,731 --> 00:18:20,464
You were beamed up.
You got probed.
473
00:18:20,466 --> 00:18:22,466
Oh--and don't tell me.
474
00:18:22,468 --> 00:18:24,568
There was alcohol
Involved.
475
00:18:24,570 --> 00:18:25,969
All right.
476
00:18:25,971 --> 00:18:29,207
Who told him my story?
477
00:18:29,209 --> 00:18:30,274
Tch! Everybody
In the world's
478
00:18:30,276 --> 00:18:31,942
Told me that story.
479
00:18:31,944 --> 00:18:34,645
Listen. Your baby's
Not special.
480
00:18:34,647 --> 00:18:37,448
Oh. I see.
481
00:18:37,450 --> 00:18:39,650
I think that
You're gonna be...
482
00:18:39,652 --> 00:18:43,019
Singing a different tune
When he becomes your...
483
00:18:43,021 --> 00:18:44,921
Supreme overlord.
484
00:18:44,923 --> 00:18:46,657
Oh, yes.
485
00:18:48,428 --> 00:18:49,527
I'm sorry. I just
Didn't think
486
00:18:49,529 --> 00:18:50,962
It was
A very good story.
487
00:18:50,964 --> 00:18:51,963
You're right.
488
00:18:51,965 --> 00:18:53,030
We tried tellin' her.
489
00:18:53,032 --> 00:18:56,334
I, for one,
Am shocked--shocked--
490
00:18:56,336 --> 00:18:59,337
That a paper of such
High journalistic standards,
491
00:18:59,339 --> 00:19:02,773
A paper that had
The cojones...
492
00:19:02,775 --> 00:19:04,108
To tell the world
493
00:19:04,110 --> 00:19:06,544
About cocoa,
The rhyming bison...
494
00:19:06,546 --> 00:19:08,145
Can't see a great story
495
00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:09,913
When it's right under
Your noses!
496
00:19:09,915 --> 00:19:10,948
All: dick!
497
00:19:10,950 --> 00:19:13,884
On the other hand,
Perhaps you know best.
498
00:19:13,886 --> 00:19:16,787
Did cocoa
Get that scholarship?
499
00:19:19,759 --> 00:19:21,092
Oh, vicki,
500
00:19:21,094 --> 00:19:22,893
I wish you didn't
Have to leave.
501
00:19:22,895 --> 00:19:24,929
Oh, harry...
502
00:19:24,931 --> 00:19:27,397
I cannot stay
In this place.
503
00:19:27,399 --> 00:19:29,066
I must leave here.
504
00:19:29,068 --> 00:19:31,936
You see, my star child and I
Are drawn to a place
505
00:19:31,938 --> 00:19:35,372
Of comfort
And spiritual balance...
506
00:19:35,374 --> 00:19:37,574
A place where we
Can live out our...
507
00:19:37,576 --> 00:19:39,844
Celestial destiny.
508
00:19:39,846 --> 00:19:42,213
And where's
That, vicki?
509
00:19:42,215 --> 00:19:44,681
Orlando.
510
00:19:52,292 --> 00:19:54,625
I will
Miss you.
511
00:19:54,627 --> 00:19:57,828
Harry, I'm gonna
Miss you, too.
512
00:19:57,830 --> 00:19:59,396
But I'll be back.
513
00:20:02,235 --> 00:20:03,567
I promise.
514
00:20:04,937 --> 00:20:06,136
Vicki?
515
00:20:08,374 --> 00:20:09,673
Yes, harry?
516
00:20:10,943 --> 00:20:13,477
You forgot
Your baby.
517
00:20:13,479 --> 00:20:15,513
Oh, boy. Ha ha ha!
Sure did. Ha ha ha!
518
00:20:15,515 --> 00:20:17,882
Sorry 'bout that.
Ok.
519
00:20:20,987 --> 00:20:22,586
It's amazing.
520
00:20:22,588 --> 00:20:23,920
After all
These years,
521
00:20:23,922 --> 00:20:25,656
We've actually
Played a part
522
00:20:25,658 --> 00:20:26,657
In bringing
A new life
523
00:20:26,659 --> 00:20:28,058
Onto this planet.
524
00:20:28,060 --> 00:20:31,394
This kid is gonna have
So much that we never had.
525
00:20:31,396 --> 00:20:32,830
He'll actually
Grow up here.
526
00:20:32,832 --> 00:20:34,932
He won't make all
The mistakes we made.
527
00:20:34,934 --> 00:20:36,400
We didn't make
A lot of mistakes.
528
00:20:36,402 --> 00:20:38,068
What are you
Talking about?
529
00:20:38,070 --> 00:20:39,069
Do you remember
The time that we thought
530
00:20:39,071 --> 00:20:40,838
The phone was a fire alarm
531
00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:41,939
And any time someone called,
532
00:20:41,941 --> 00:20:45,242
We'd run outside
In our underpants?
533
00:20:45,244 --> 00:20:46,443
Or what about the time
534
00:20:46,445 --> 00:20:48,345
We tried to bust open
The television set
535
00:20:48,347 --> 00:20:49,780
Because we wanted
To meet the jeffersons?
536
00:20:49,782 --> 00:20:51,749
Yeah, yeah, yeah!
537
00:20:51,751 --> 00:20:53,116
But dick stopped us
538
00:20:53,118 --> 00:20:56,287
'cause he didn't want
The flintstones to escape!
539
00:20:56,289 --> 00:20:58,889
Our modern world would
Have terrified them.
540
00:20:58,891 --> 00:21:01,359
They had cars.
They were very evolved.
541
00:21:01,361 --> 00:21:03,194
[all talking at once]
37418
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