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1
00:00:06,039 --> 00:00:09,040
Dr. Solomon, have you
Bought strudwick's
New book yet?
2
00:00:09,042 --> 00:00:10,976
I was gonna order it
Off the internet
3
00:00:10,978 --> 00:00:15,480
Until I realized
There's no such thing
As amazon.Crap.
4
00:00:15,482 --> 00:00:19,150
Look at him,
Standing up there like
All of this was for him.
5
00:00:19,152 --> 00:00:21,086
All this is for him.
6
00:00:21,088 --> 00:00:23,489
Fine. But he doesn't
Have to bask.
7
00:00:23,491 --> 00:00:27,659
Look at him basking.
That basker!
8
00:00:27,661 --> 00:00:31,029
You're just jealous
Because he got a book
Published and you didn't.
9
00:00:31,031 --> 00:00:34,032
Jealous? Ha ha!
Of his little
Comic book?
10
00:00:34,034 --> 00:00:35,634
That's a hoot
And a half.
11
00:00:35,636 --> 00:00:38,703
Well, those 4 nobel
Laureates over there
Kissing his butt
12
00:00:38,705 --> 00:00:40,038
Seem to disagree.
13
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:41,773
So, where are
The nobel guys?
14
00:00:41,775 --> 00:00:43,442
Oh, they're
Over there
With strudwick.
15
00:00:43,444 --> 00:00:44,843
But they're
Not so great.
16
00:00:44,845 --> 00:00:47,646
One of them had to
Share his prize
With a swede.
17
00:00:49,049 --> 00:00:50,816
Why don't you
Go talk to them?
18
00:00:50,818 --> 00:00:53,652
Oh, gosh, I'm so nervous.
Do I have any broccoli
In my teeth?
19
00:00:53,654 --> 00:00:55,554
Not a lot. Come on.
Ok.
20
00:00:56,490 --> 00:00:58,123
Ha ha ha ha!
21
00:00:58,125 --> 00:00:59,558
Hey, dick.
22
00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:02,561
Quite an impressive
Turnout for me,
Wouldn't you say?
23
00:01:02,563 --> 00:01:05,497
Not bad. It's
No gay pride parade.
24
00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:09,201
Right. So, what'd you
Think of the book?
25
00:01:09,203 --> 00:01:11,670
As bathroom fare?
A triumph.
26
00:01:11,672 --> 00:01:13,539
Well, I'm going to go
Get my picture taken
27
00:01:13,541 --> 00:01:15,941
For the national journal of physics. don't be in it.
28
00:01:15,943 --> 00:01:17,209
Oh, I won't.
29
00:01:20,347 --> 00:01:22,147
I've got to get
In that picture!
30
00:01:38,198 --> 00:01:40,899
Hey! Are you
Whittling?
31
00:01:40,901 --> 00:01:43,401
Actually, I found this
Piece of wood outside,
32
00:01:43,403 --> 00:01:47,072
And I figured
I'd make us all
Some twig men.
33
00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:49,808
Well, how nice of you!
34
00:01:49,810 --> 00:01:51,843
Just had a lot
Of extra energy
35
00:01:51,845 --> 00:01:55,046
Since don and I
Called it off.
Can't understand why.
36
00:01:56,917 --> 00:01:58,383
So, call me
Later?
37
00:01:58,385 --> 00:01:59,318
Ok.
38
00:01:59,320 --> 00:02:00,385
Ok.
Bye.
39
00:02:01,655 --> 00:02:04,723
Well...Pretty good
Afternoon for me.
40
00:02:04,725 --> 00:02:07,326
A little, uh...
A little homework,
A little music.
41
00:02:07,328 --> 00:02:09,494
A little makin' out.
Oh, wait! Did I say
"A little"?
42
00:02:09,496 --> 00:02:11,663
I meant a lot!
Tommy!
43
00:02:11,665 --> 00:02:12,898
Aaah!
Ow!
44
00:02:12,900 --> 00:02:15,167
It was incredible, man.
We were just sitting there
45
00:02:15,169 --> 00:02:17,302
Next to each other,
And all of a sudden,
46
00:02:17,304 --> 00:02:19,304
We looked at each other,
And somethin'
Came over us.
47
00:02:19,306 --> 00:02:20,806
And then
You kissed her...
Didn't you?
48
00:02:20,808 --> 00:02:22,473
No, no, no.
Not yet, right?
49
00:02:22,475 --> 00:02:25,610
We--we, uh, we inched
Closer and closer
Together. Right?
50
00:02:25,612 --> 00:02:28,680
And--and--and my lips
Were there, and...
Ohh!
51
00:02:28,682 --> 00:02:31,416
Her lips were there...
That sounds...
52
00:02:31,418 --> 00:02:33,284
Real nice, tommy.
53
00:02:33,286 --> 00:02:35,621
And then
You kissed her,
Didn't you?
54
00:02:35,623 --> 00:02:37,689
Well, no.
Then I blacked out.
55
00:02:37,691 --> 00:02:39,625
But when I woke up,
Man, we were kissin'!
56
00:02:39,627 --> 00:02:41,360
And we just
Kissed and kissed--
57
00:02:41,362 --> 00:02:42,394
Aah!
58
00:02:44,097 --> 00:02:45,096
Sorry.
59
00:02:45,098 --> 00:02:47,599
I think I need
A new twig!
60
00:02:55,509 --> 00:03:24,302
Captioning made possible by
Carsey-werner productions
And the national
Broadcasting company
61
00:03:26,139 --> 00:03:28,139
Hello. Yes. This
Is vincent strudwick.
62
00:03:28,141 --> 00:03:30,475
You just published
My book physics for a new millennium.
63
00:03:30,477 --> 00:03:33,211
I want all copies
Recalled.
64
00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:36,648
Why? Well, besides the fact
That I plagiarized
The whole thing
65
00:03:36,650 --> 00:03:38,583
From renowned genius
Dick solomon,
66
00:03:38,585 --> 00:03:41,018
I also feel
That the jacket photo
67
00:03:41,020 --> 00:03:45,490
Fails to highlight
My pouty, feminine mouth.
Get on it!
68
00:03:45,492 --> 00:03:48,493
Of course this is
The real strudwick!
Hello? Hello?
69
00:03:50,598 --> 00:03:51,597
What's this?
70
00:03:51,599 --> 00:03:53,198
It's strudwick's
New book.
71
00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:56,167
Oh, I thought I smelled
A stink in here.
72
00:03:57,137 --> 00:03:59,003
Well, get used
To the stink.
73
00:03:59,005 --> 00:04:00,805
It's the new textbook
You'll be teaching from.
74
00:04:00,807 --> 00:04:02,207
What?!
75
00:04:02,209 --> 00:04:04,876
They say
It's brilliant!
Who says that?!
76
00:04:04,878 --> 00:04:06,144
Everyone.
77
00:04:06,146 --> 00:04:09,247
Well, call up "Everyone"
And tell them
To go to hell.
78
00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:10,849
I'll get
Right on that.
79
00:04:10,851 --> 00:04:12,984
Look at this. I could
Write a better book
Overnight.
80
00:04:12,986 --> 00:04:15,887
You think
You're the smartest man
On the planet, don't you?
81
00:04:15,889 --> 00:04:17,956
For the thousandth
Time, yes!
82
00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:23,061
Nina, cancel
My classes. I've got
Some writing to do.
83
00:04:23,063 --> 00:04:24,862
Get out
Of my way!
84
00:04:24,864 --> 00:04:27,298
And that
Was dr. Solomon.
85
00:04:27,300 --> 00:04:29,500
And this
Is my office.
86
00:04:29,502 --> 00:04:32,437
Oh, gentlemen,
It has been
A tremendous honor
87
00:04:32,439 --> 00:04:34,506
To be able
To give you
The tour.
88
00:04:34,508 --> 00:04:36,174
Thank you
For coming.
89
00:04:41,314 --> 00:04:42,948
Oh! You know what?
90
00:04:42,950 --> 00:04:44,950
You haven't seen
Our cafeteria!
91
00:04:44,952 --> 00:04:47,885
I'd love to join you,
But I have a class.
92
00:04:47,887 --> 00:04:49,421
Do they have soup?
93
00:04:49,423 --> 00:04:51,323
Yes, I believe
They have soup.
94
00:04:51,325 --> 00:04:53,291
Is it
A cream soup?
95
00:04:53,293 --> 00:04:54,592
Uh, that I don't know.
96
00:04:54,594 --> 00:04:56,261
I hope
They have waffles.
97
00:04:56,263 --> 00:04:57,795
Oh, but not
The round ones.
98
00:04:57,797 --> 00:04:59,564
Certainly not.
No, no. Not the round
Ones, no.
99
00:04:59,566 --> 00:05:01,266
So, go. Go.
100
00:05:01,268 --> 00:05:03,368
It's ok.
It's ok.
101
00:05:05,072 --> 00:05:06,237
Go.
102
00:05:06,239 --> 00:05:07,539
Have soup.
103
00:05:12,245 --> 00:05:14,679
Tommy, my man!
Lookin' good!
104
00:05:14,681 --> 00:05:17,349
Yeah. I'm gonna
Go meet alissa's
Parents tonight.
105
00:05:17,351 --> 00:05:18,817
I'm a little
Nervous.
106
00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:21,186
You know
What I find, tommy?
107
00:05:23,257 --> 00:05:26,724
Parents...
Love the greeks.
108
00:05:26,726 --> 00:05:29,728
So what you want to do
Is come off as greek.
109
00:05:29,730 --> 00:05:33,365
But not too greek,
See, 'cause that's
Just creepy.
110
00:05:34,534 --> 00:05:37,002
I suggest
Medium greek.
111
00:05:37,004 --> 00:05:38,003
That's money.
112
00:05:42,008 --> 00:05:43,841
I'm just gonna
Be myself.
113
00:05:43,843 --> 00:05:45,209
Ah.
114
00:05:45,211 --> 00:05:46,712
Bold choice.
115
00:05:49,716 --> 00:05:51,316
Relative intensities
Comparison...
116
00:05:51,318 --> 00:05:52,950
Spectrum
Gravitational field,
117
00:05:52,952 --> 00:05:54,886
Deviation
Of the relative infinity
118
00:05:54,888 --> 00:05:57,055
Of the construct--
119
00:05:57,057 --> 00:05:59,757
Hey, dick!
The movie starts
In 20 minutes.
120
00:05:59,759 --> 00:06:01,626
Don, I--I can't come.
I'm in the middle
121
00:06:01,628 --> 00:06:03,361
Of writing
A groundbreaking book
122
00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:05,229
That'll bring
The physics world
To its knees.
123
00:06:05,231 --> 00:06:06,898
Oh. What's it called?
124
00:06:06,900 --> 00:06:08,800
payback's a bitch, strudwick.
125
00:06:12,172 --> 00:06:15,307
But, dick, I...
I already got the tickets,
Like you told me.
126
00:06:15,309 --> 00:06:17,676
Here. Listen to this,
Don. "To construct
The analog curvature,
127
00:06:17,678 --> 00:06:20,011
"Deplace a vector x a second time to the firstp.
128
00:06:20,013 --> 00:06:22,013
"The coinciding volume
Of the light complex
Is the same
129
00:06:22,015 --> 00:06:23,948
Whether measured in
Terms of the variable
k or l."
130
00:06:23,950 --> 00:06:25,350
What do you think?
131
00:06:25,352 --> 00:06:27,385
Watch out, steven king.
132
00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:29,053
Oh, he better.
133
00:06:33,627 --> 00:06:35,160
Hey, don.
How's it goin'?
134
00:06:35,162 --> 00:06:37,896
Oh, not good. Your
Brother just stuck me
With a movie ticket.
135
00:06:37,898 --> 00:06:39,798
Oh, yeah?
What movie you seein'?
136
00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:41,766
I don't remember
The name of it,
But it's the one
137
00:06:41,768 --> 00:06:45,002
Where jackie chan
Kills 2 guys
With a baguette.
138
00:06:45,004 --> 00:06:47,539
I hear that one's
Awesome!
Yeah. Ha ha.
139
00:06:47,541 --> 00:06:51,109
I would ask you,
You know, but
Since we broke up...
140
00:06:51,111 --> 00:06:53,077
Oh. Of course. Sure.
141
00:06:53,079 --> 00:06:55,346
But I--I do have,
You know,
An extra ticket.
142
00:06:55,348 --> 00:06:57,682
Maybe we could go
As, uh...
143
00:06:57,684 --> 00:06:59,617
Friends.
144
00:07:01,588 --> 00:07:03,754
Ok. Yeah.
145
00:07:03,756 --> 00:07:06,357
Friends. Hey, I'll even
Buy the ticket off ya.
146
00:07:06,359 --> 00:07:07,959
No, don't worry
About that,
147
00:07:07,961 --> 00:07:10,394
Unless you happen
To have 6.50 handy.
148
00:07:10,396 --> 00:07:12,330
Oh...I only got
A 20 on me.
149
00:07:12,332 --> 00:07:13,665
I got change.
150
00:07:19,205 --> 00:07:20,805
[giggles]
151
00:07:20,807 --> 00:07:22,040
Where you goin'?
152
00:07:22,042 --> 00:07:24,108
I have to put a fork
At the other end
Of the table.
153
00:07:24,110 --> 00:07:25,376
I'll miss you.
154
00:07:25,378 --> 00:07:26,711
Shut up.
155
00:07:26,713 --> 00:07:28,780
Woman: hi. Go in and
Check on the kids.
156
00:07:28,782 --> 00:07:30,214
Ok. There's
My parents.
157
00:07:30,216 --> 00:07:32,216
Don't be nervous.
They're gonna love you.
158
00:07:32,218 --> 00:07:33,585
Ok.
[clears throat]
159
00:07:33,587 --> 00:07:35,720
Dad, this
Is tommy.
160
00:07:36,723 --> 00:07:37,989
This is
My father.
161
00:07:37,991 --> 00:07:39,390
Hello, tommy.
Nice to meet you.
162
00:07:39,392 --> 00:07:41,058
Yeah. Nice
To meet you, too.
163
00:07:41,060 --> 00:07:42,627
You know, uh...
164
00:07:42,629 --> 00:07:45,062
You're nothing at all
Like I pictured.
165
00:07:47,267 --> 00:07:48,399
Hi.
166
00:07:48,401 --> 00:07:49,601
I'm alissa's mom.
167
00:07:52,238 --> 00:07:53,905
Now I get it.
168
00:07:55,008 --> 00:07:56,741
Man! You wrote
A whole book?
169
00:07:56,743 --> 00:07:59,410
Only the most
Brilliant book
On physics ever written.
170
00:07:59,412 --> 00:08:01,046
The formulas in there
171
00:08:01,048 --> 00:08:04,916
Are 400 years ahead
Of this planet's most
Advanced modern thinking.
172
00:08:04,918 --> 00:08:07,585
Whoa, dick! You're
Gonna be famous!
173
00:08:07,587 --> 00:08:09,454
Why, yes, I am,
Thank you very much.
174
00:08:09,456 --> 00:08:11,923
Cold fusion,
Perpetual motion?
175
00:08:11,925 --> 00:08:15,126
Humans are gonna be
Blown away by all that.
176
00:08:15,128 --> 00:08:20,798
This'll wipe the smugliness
Off strudwick's furry,
Ratlike little face.
177
00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:23,201
Every expert
In the country's
Gonna be dyin'
178
00:08:23,203 --> 00:08:25,603
To know how you
Figured all this out.
179
00:08:25,605 --> 00:08:27,639
You think?
Oh, and the fame!
180
00:08:27,641 --> 00:08:31,543
I can't wait to see
Barbara walters
Make you cry.
181
00:08:34,113 --> 00:08:35,179
Barbara walters?
182
00:08:35,181 --> 00:08:37,248
Yep. Grillin' you
About your childhood
183
00:08:37,250 --> 00:08:38,616
On national television.
184
00:08:38,618 --> 00:08:40,752
But I--I never had
A childhood.
185
00:08:40,754 --> 00:08:43,187
Oh, you don't
Have to tell me.
186
00:08:43,189 --> 00:08:46,223
A boy grows up
Awful fast on the mean
Streets of, uh...
187
00:08:46,225 --> 00:08:47,859
Where are you
From again?
188
00:08:49,129 --> 00:08:50,662
Outer space!
189
00:08:51,597 --> 00:08:53,164
What was I thinking?!
190
00:08:53,166 --> 00:08:55,599
If I publish
All the secrets
Of the universe,
191
00:08:55,601 --> 00:08:58,235
We might just as well
Walk into the pentagon
192
00:08:58,237 --> 00:09:00,171
And yell out,
"We're aliens!"
193
00:09:00,173 --> 00:09:03,675
Oh, yeah.
That would be
Quite a predicament.
194
00:09:03,677 --> 00:09:05,109
You idiot!
195
00:09:11,851 --> 00:09:13,484
Well...
[sighs]
196
00:09:13,486 --> 00:09:14,986
This is my place.
197
00:09:14,988 --> 00:09:17,689
Wow.
Smells, um...
198
00:09:17,691 --> 00:09:19,624
Rustic.
199
00:09:19,626 --> 00:09:22,260
Thanks. You know,
This was really great.
200
00:09:22,262 --> 00:09:25,563
Isn't it cool
That we can just go
To a movie as friends?
201
00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:27,665
It is cool.
It's great.
202
00:09:27,667 --> 00:09:29,334
Really great.
203
00:09:29,336 --> 00:09:31,836
So, you want
A cup of coffee
Or anything?
204
00:09:31,838 --> 00:09:33,471
Nah. I should
Probably go.
205
00:09:33,473 --> 00:09:34,472
Ok.
206
00:09:42,883 --> 00:09:44,549
That was
A wonderful meal,
Dotty.
207
00:09:44,551 --> 00:09:45,550
Yeah, delicious.
208
00:09:45,552 --> 00:09:47,218
Well, I'm glad
You liked it.
209
00:09:47,220 --> 00:09:49,220
Here, mom, let me
Give you a hand.
210
00:09:49,222 --> 00:09:50,855
[clears throat]
211
00:09:50,857 --> 00:09:52,757
So, uh...
212
00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:54,492
I really like
Alissa a lot.
213
00:09:54,494 --> 00:09:56,961
She's a lovely girl.
Yeah.
214
00:09:56,963 --> 00:09:58,897
You and me,
We're lucky guys,
Huh?
215
00:09:58,899 --> 00:10:01,866
We got ourselves
A couple of hotties,
Huh?
216
00:10:01,868 --> 00:10:02,967
Excuse me?
217
00:10:02,969 --> 00:10:05,970
Listen, man. Ahem.
Between you and me,
218
00:10:05,972 --> 00:10:09,407
Has alissa
Mentioned anything
About my kissing?
219
00:10:09,409 --> 00:10:10,608
What?
220
00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:12,110
The thing is,
We're makin' out,
221
00:10:12,112 --> 00:10:13,611
Like, a lot. Right?
222
00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:15,780
But she's a little more
Experienced than I am,
223
00:10:15,782 --> 00:10:18,883
Which is why any
Feedback she gave you'd
Be really appreciated.
224
00:10:18,885 --> 00:10:21,386
I--I think maybe
We should change
The subject.
225
00:10:21,388 --> 00:10:22,553
Oh, ok.
226
00:10:22,555 --> 00:10:24,422
So. What does
Your father do?
227
00:10:24,424 --> 00:10:26,824
Uh, he's
A professor.
At pendelton.
228
00:10:26,826 --> 00:10:28,226
Um, dick solomon?
229
00:10:33,967 --> 00:10:35,566
Oh...
230
00:10:35,568 --> 00:10:36,567
Oh, boy.
231
00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:43,408
That was
Somethin', huh?
232
00:10:43,410 --> 00:10:44,976
I wasn't expectin' that!
233
00:10:46,279 --> 00:10:47,612
Oh, me, neither.
234
00:10:47,614 --> 00:10:50,615
Well, I guess we had
One left in us.
235
00:10:50,617 --> 00:10:52,283
That was
A big mistake.
236
00:10:52,285 --> 00:10:53,718
Oh, big. Oh, big.
237
00:10:53,720 --> 00:10:54,719
[chuckling]
238
00:10:54,721 --> 00:10:56,754
Well, uh...I, uh...
239
00:10:56,756 --> 00:10:58,022
I'd better be goin'.
240
00:10:58,024 --> 00:10:59,557
Ok!
241
00:10:59,559 --> 00:11:01,159
I'll see you
Around.
242
00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:03,795
You know what? We'll
Do somethin', right?
Oh, that'd be nice.
243
00:11:03,797 --> 00:11:05,696
God, I want you.
Take me!
244
00:11:16,776 --> 00:11:18,343
108 for 210...
245
00:11:22,115 --> 00:11:23,681
108 for 211...
246
00:11:26,452 --> 00:11:28,586
109 for 212...
247
00:11:28,588 --> 00:11:30,788
Dr. Solomon,
Channel 58 just called
248
00:11:30,790 --> 00:11:33,091
And asked if you
Would like to appear
249
00:11:33,093 --> 00:11:35,226
On some show
Called men & ideas?
250
00:11:35,228 --> 00:11:38,529
men & ideas?! yes, indeed, I do!
251
00:11:38,531 --> 00:11:40,198
Mary, look at this.
What?
252
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:42,333
I guess the word is
Finally getting out.
253
00:11:42,335 --> 00:11:45,169
I'm gonna
Be a guest
On men & ideas.
254
00:11:45,171 --> 00:11:47,505
Actually, you're
Just a panelist.
What?
255
00:11:47,507 --> 00:11:49,407
The show's
All about strudwick.
256
00:11:49,409 --> 00:11:51,776
No!
257
00:11:51,778 --> 00:11:52,843
Ohhh...
258
00:11:52,845 --> 00:11:55,513
[sobbing]
259
00:11:55,515 --> 00:11:58,850
You're taking it
Better than I
Thought you would.
[honking]
260
00:11:58,852 --> 00:12:00,818
I'll be
Right there!
261
00:12:00,820 --> 00:12:01,953
[chuckles]
262
00:12:01,955 --> 00:12:03,221
It's the laureates.
263
00:12:03,223 --> 00:12:04,822
I'm taking them
To banana republic.
264
00:12:04,824 --> 00:12:06,458
Bernard has never
Worn jeans.
265
00:12:06,460 --> 00:12:07,525
But, mary...
266
00:12:07,527 --> 00:12:08,626
[honk honk]
267
00:12:08,628 --> 00:12:10,328
Oh. I'm coming!
268
00:12:10,330 --> 00:12:11,829
Jeez!
269
00:12:11,831 --> 00:12:14,099
Dick!
What's going on?!
What do you mean?
270
00:12:14,101 --> 00:12:16,668
What is your son
Doing with my daughter?
What are you talking about?
271
00:12:16,670 --> 00:12:18,703
Well, apparently,
They've been dating
For 3 months.
272
00:12:18,705 --> 00:12:21,805
That's impossible. Tommy's
Been dating some girl
Named alissa for 3 months.
273
00:12:21,807 --> 00:12:24,275
Alissa strudwick,
You idiot!
My daughter!
274
00:12:24,277 --> 00:12:27,411
What?! That hot
Little blond number's
Your daughter?!
275
00:12:27,413 --> 00:12:29,346
How dare you describe
Her in that way?!
276
00:12:29,348 --> 00:12:31,649
No strudwick is
Gonna date my son!
277
00:12:31,651 --> 00:12:34,185
Your son is
An ill-mannered,
Obnoxious boor!
278
00:12:34,187 --> 00:12:35,920
You take
That back!
All right.
279
00:12:35,922 --> 00:12:36,987
He's rude! He's smug!
280
00:12:36,989 --> 00:12:38,623
He kissed my daughter
Right in front of me!
281
00:12:38,625 --> 00:12:41,192
Wait a minute.
Vincent.
What?
282
00:12:41,194 --> 00:12:43,227
This is really
Bothering you,
Isn't it?
283
00:12:43,229 --> 00:12:45,830
Damn right it is.
284
00:12:45,832 --> 00:12:49,500
I suggest that
You teach your son
Some manners.
285
00:12:53,706 --> 00:12:56,407
What's so
Damn funny?
Nothing.
Nothing.
286
00:13:06,719 --> 00:13:09,387
Oh, no. No, no!
287
00:13:14,494 --> 00:13:18,362
Oh, no! No, no!
288
00:13:18,364 --> 00:13:20,664
What is it, dick?
It's nothing.
289
00:13:20,666 --> 00:13:22,900
I can't talk
About it.
290
00:13:22,902 --> 00:13:24,002
Oh, no!
291
00:13:24,004 --> 00:13:25,403
What?!
292
00:13:25,405 --> 00:13:26,971
It's nothing
You'd be interested in.
293
00:13:26,973 --> 00:13:29,874
It's just about
The two of you,
That's all.
294
00:13:29,876 --> 00:13:31,375
It's about us?
What is it?
295
00:13:31,377 --> 00:13:33,244
It's about what
Your father said
About you.
296
00:13:33,246 --> 00:13:35,980
But, please, don't ask.
I promised him
I wouldn't say.
297
00:13:35,982 --> 00:13:37,081
What?!
What?!
298
00:13:37,083 --> 00:13:39,517
All right,
Here it is.
Now, listen.
299
00:13:39,519 --> 00:13:41,886
Your father thinks
The two of you
Should break up.
300
00:13:43,223 --> 00:13:44,222
What? Why?
301
00:13:44,224 --> 00:13:46,390
Something about him
Not trusting you,
302
00:13:46,392 --> 00:13:47,925
You being
Too immature,
303
00:13:47,927 --> 00:13:49,760
You following
In the footsteps
304
00:13:49,762 --> 00:13:52,630
Of that aunt of yours
That everybody hates.
305
00:13:52,632 --> 00:13:53,931
Aunt ellie?
306
00:13:53,933 --> 00:13:54,932
Mmm.
307
00:13:54,934 --> 00:13:56,334
Everybody loves
Aunt ellie.
308
00:13:56,336 --> 00:13:58,703
Oh, well...There must be
Somebody in your family
309
00:13:58,705 --> 00:14:00,871
That everybody hates.
Cousin jeff?
310
00:14:00,873 --> 00:14:02,173
That's the one.
Cousin jeff.
311
00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:04,275
I'm nothing like
Cousin jeff.
His words, not mine.
312
00:14:04,277 --> 00:14:05,376
Why would he
Say that?
313
00:14:05,378 --> 00:14:07,511
My dad can be such
A jerk sometimes.
314
00:14:07,513 --> 00:14:10,481
Oh, don't tell me.
I think the two of you
Are fabulous together.
315
00:14:10,483 --> 00:14:12,316
I guess I've always
Been able to see you
316
00:14:12,318 --> 00:14:15,219
For the intelligent,
Independent young
Woman that you are.
317
00:14:15,221 --> 00:14:16,721
Thank you!
Wait a minute.
318
00:14:16,723 --> 00:14:18,789
But if your father
Can't see that,
319
00:14:18,791 --> 00:14:21,459
Then I think you have
No choice but just
To go straight home
320
00:14:21,461 --> 00:14:23,194
And be furious
With him.
321
00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:25,496
Oh, I'm on my way! Oh!
322
00:14:26,533 --> 00:14:28,032
Dick...
Are you sure--
323
00:14:28,034 --> 00:14:34,972
I've already
Said too much!
324
00:14:36,809 --> 00:14:38,976
Well, this is
Much better, huh?
325
00:14:38,978 --> 00:14:42,480
Absolutely.
We should never have
Gone to your apartment.
326
00:14:42,482 --> 00:14:44,148
There's, uh...
A bed in there.
327
00:14:44,150 --> 00:14:45,316
Yeah.
328
00:14:46,486 --> 00:14:47,818
What were we thinking?
329
00:14:47,820 --> 00:14:49,820
I mean, this...
This makes more sense.
330
00:14:49,822 --> 00:14:52,156
This...Is
The perfect place
331
00:14:52,158 --> 00:14:54,892
For 2 friends to share
A cup of coffee.
332
00:14:54,894 --> 00:14:57,128
You know, I knew
We could do it, don.
333
00:14:57,130 --> 00:15:00,031
Totally casual.
No problem.
334
00:15:04,637 --> 00:15:05,703
Hi, guys!
335
00:15:05,705 --> 00:15:07,304
Harry!
What--what's up?
336
00:15:07,306 --> 00:15:10,408
How're you doin'?
Where--what's up?
Where you goin'?
337
00:15:10,410 --> 00:15:12,844
Well, I was
Just goin' over
To the park
338
00:15:12,846 --> 00:15:15,346
To push over
Some of those
Tai chi guys.
339
00:15:15,348 --> 00:15:16,447
Ohhh...
340
00:15:16,449 --> 00:15:18,383
And what are
You doin'?
341
00:15:18,385 --> 00:15:20,885
We're just havin'
Some coffee. Havin'
Coffee. Want some coffee?
342
00:15:20,887 --> 00:15:23,187
I'd love
Some coffee!
Oh, great!
343
00:15:23,189 --> 00:15:25,089
There's
Nothin' better
Than 3 friends
344
00:15:25,091 --> 00:15:27,058
Sittin' around,
Havin' some joe!
345
00:15:27,060 --> 00:15:29,127
I'll get the cup,
And you pour.
Ok, great.
346
00:15:29,129 --> 00:15:30,862
So, harry, what'd
You do today?
347
00:15:30,864 --> 00:15:33,631
Oh, well,
My day started
Sort of early.
348
00:15:34,634 --> 00:15:36,700
You know that thing
349
00:15:36,702 --> 00:15:39,270
Where, um,
If you say "Rabbit,"
350
00:15:39,272 --> 00:15:41,438
You'll have
Good luck all day?
351
00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:44,375
I was gonna do that
First thing in the mornin'.
352
00:15:49,716 --> 00:15:51,549
And then there was lunch.
353
00:15:56,022 --> 00:15:57,755
Morning, vincent.
How's it goin'?
354
00:15:57,757 --> 00:15:59,891
Did you talk
To your boy
Last night?
355
00:15:59,893 --> 00:16:02,960
Yes. We talked,
We laughed, we shared.
356
00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:05,162
Then there were
The, uh, hugs, as usual.
357
00:16:05,164 --> 00:16:06,797
How'd it go
With alissa?
358
00:16:06,799 --> 00:16:09,834
She came home, slammed
The door in my face, and
Locked herself in her room.
359
00:16:09,836 --> 00:16:10,835
Ooh. Ouch.
360
00:16:10,837 --> 00:16:12,770
Did she, by any chance,
361
00:16:12,772 --> 00:16:14,672
Say that, uh,
She hates you?
362
00:16:14,674 --> 00:16:16,740
How'd you know that?
363
00:16:16,742 --> 00:16:18,910
Call it fatherly intuition.
364
00:16:18,912 --> 00:16:21,412
She said...She said...
Oh, never mind.
365
00:16:21,414 --> 00:16:23,447
Go on, vincent.
You can tell me.
366
00:16:23,449 --> 00:16:28,052
She said why couldn't I
Be more like...
Like you?
367
00:16:31,925 --> 00:16:33,591
Well, I can
Understand that.
368
00:16:33,593 --> 00:16:36,160
Some of us
Devote our time
To our families,
369
00:16:36,162 --> 00:16:40,298
Others opt instead
To write books. I'm sure
You made the right choice.
370
00:16:40,300 --> 00:16:43,333
Not for your daughter,
Of course, but for you.
371
00:16:43,335 --> 00:16:44,735
This is awful!
372
00:16:44,737 --> 00:16:46,437
No, don't worry!
373
00:16:46,439 --> 00:16:48,439
As the decades...
Slip by,
374
00:16:48,441 --> 00:16:50,441
These wounds
Will scab over
375
00:16:50,443 --> 00:16:52,276
And harden
Into bitter scars.
376
00:16:53,846 --> 00:16:55,880
And you'll
Get together then,
Vince.
377
00:16:55,882 --> 00:16:58,883
I know you'll have
A good time then. ohhh...
378
00:17:09,495 --> 00:17:11,562
Ok, everybody,
Here we go.
379
00:17:11,564 --> 00:17:15,065
Johann, why don't
You sit right here?
Here you go.
380
00:17:15,067 --> 00:17:17,635
Ok. Sit down.
Sit down.
381
00:17:17,637 --> 00:17:19,770
Bernard...
Give me the gum.
382
00:17:19,772 --> 00:17:21,772
Give me the gum.
Spit it out!
383
00:17:26,546 --> 00:17:28,979
So, don, do you think
We'll be ok here?
384
00:17:28,981 --> 00:17:31,582
Come on, sally,
There must be
50 people here.
385
00:17:31,584 --> 00:17:32,717
That's true.
386
00:17:32,719 --> 00:17:36,320
We're not gonna do it
In front of 50 people.
387
00:17:36,322 --> 00:17:37,889
You sit over there.
388
00:17:37,891 --> 00:17:40,057
I'll sit over here.
389
00:17:40,059 --> 00:17:42,926
And we're on
In 3...2...
390
00:17:42,928 --> 00:17:46,396
Hello, and welcome
To men & ideas.
391
00:17:46,398 --> 00:17:47,698
I'm hamilton bell.
392
00:17:47,700 --> 00:17:50,201
And to my right is
Dr. Vincent strudwick,
393
00:17:50,203 --> 00:17:53,204
Author of physics for a new millennium
394
00:17:53,206 --> 00:17:56,574
And the brightest star
Of the pendelton
University faculty.
395
00:17:56,576 --> 00:17:58,209
Huh!
396
00:17:58,211 --> 00:18:01,078
We are also
Honored to have
A distinguished panel
397
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:03,181
Of nobel laureates--
Dr. Bernard
398
00:18:03,183 --> 00:18:04,382
Yamshuth...
399
00:18:06,352 --> 00:18:08,085
Dr. Carl mainen...
400
00:18:10,356 --> 00:18:12,690
Dr. Ronald schenk...
401
00:18:12,692 --> 00:18:14,892
And
Dr. Johann borgeson.
402
00:18:14,894 --> 00:18:16,861
And finally,
"Physics professor
403
00:18:16,863 --> 00:18:18,863
"And raconteur...
404
00:18:18,865 --> 00:18:21,933
And master
Of close-up magic
Dick solomon."
405
00:18:24,370 --> 00:18:25,837
[applause]
406
00:18:25,839 --> 00:18:27,338
Tell me,
Dr. Strudwick.
407
00:18:27,340 --> 00:18:30,708
Did you have any idea
When you set out
To write your book
408
00:18:30,710 --> 00:18:32,710
That it would get
This kind of reception?
409
00:18:32,712 --> 00:18:34,745
Honestly? Yes.
410
00:18:34,747 --> 00:18:36,647
Well, it--
It is, a, uh,
411
00:18:36,649 --> 00:18:40,017
Tremendous work, but it
Has come at quite a cost,
Hasn't it, vincent?
412
00:18:40,019 --> 00:18:41,952
What?
I think you know
What I mean.
413
00:18:41,954 --> 00:18:43,553
Well, I'm sure we all
Have questions for you,
Dr. Strudwick,
414
00:18:43,555 --> 00:18:45,155
So why don't we begin--
415
00:18:45,157 --> 00:18:46,323
Yes, I have one.
416
00:18:46,325 --> 00:18:48,025
Ok, then.
Dr solomon.
417
00:18:48,027 --> 00:18:51,495
Yes. I was discussing
The book last night
With my son tommy.
418
00:18:51,497 --> 00:18:53,430
Hi, tommy. Love you.
419
00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:56,800
And, uh,
It made me wonder.
420
00:18:56,802 --> 00:18:59,803
You seem to have
A reasonable grasp
Of spectral analysis,
421
00:18:59,805 --> 00:19:01,472
And yet
You have no idea
422
00:19:01,474 --> 00:19:05,375
Where your teenage
Daughter was last night
At midnight--my house,
423
00:19:05,377 --> 00:19:07,577
Where kids are
Allowed to flourish.
424
00:19:07,579 --> 00:19:10,781
Why don't you
Shut your mouth,
Solomon?!
425
00:19:10,783 --> 00:19:12,917
Why don't you
Make me?
Let's go! Come on!
426
00:19:16,089 --> 00:19:18,655
Ok. Ok. I'm cool.
I'm cool.
427
00:19:18,657 --> 00:19:23,094
Please, oh, please,
Gentlemen.
Let's be civil.
428
00:19:23,096 --> 00:19:25,763
Don't look at me, ham.
I'm just trying to be
A good father.
429
00:19:25,765 --> 00:19:27,831
I am a good father.
Oh, yeah?
430
00:19:27,833 --> 00:19:29,833
Then why did you
Insist that
Your daughter
431
00:19:29,835 --> 00:19:31,468
Never see my son
Ever again?!
432
00:19:31,470 --> 00:19:34,037
What are you
Talking about?
I never said that.
433
00:19:34,039 --> 00:19:35,106
What?
434
00:19:35,108 --> 00:19:37,008
I only said that he
Should mind his manners!
435
00:19:37,010 --> 00:19:38,809
Liar!
I might've
Been paraphrasing--
436
00:19:38,811 --> 00:19:40,844
I'll kill you!
437
00:19:40,846 --> 00:19:42,246
Tommy! Tommy!
It's ok!
438
00:19:42,248 --> 00:19:43,981
Come on.
Hey. Hey. Hey.
439
00:19:43,983 --> 00:19:45,682
I'm all right.
440
00:19:45,684 --> 00:19:49,320
This is a show about
A science book.
It should be boring.
441
00:19:49,322 --> 00:19:50,654
You're an idiot!
442
00:19:50,656 --> 00:19:51,955
It's on, bitch!
443
00:19:51,957 --> 00:19:53,524
Let's go!
Come on!
444
00:19:53,526 --> 00:19:55,726
Please, everyone!
Let's just stay calm!
445
00:19:55,728 --> 00:19:56,961
Calm down!
446
00:19:56,963 --> 00:19:58,763
Peace! Peace!
447
00:19:58,765 --> 00:20:00,197
Peace!
Well!
448
00:20:00,199 --> 00:20:02,233
This guy
Thinks he's all that,
449
00:20:02,235 --> 00:20:04,334
But he's
Notall that!
450
00:20:20,853 --> 00:20:22,853
Oh, yeah. This is
Where it gets good.
451
00:20:22,855 --> 00:20:26,056
Mary: I am sick
Of you [bleep]!
452
00:20:28,494 --> 00:20:32,563
My god. Look
At that face
I'm making.
453
00:20:32,565 --> 00:20:35,065
Now look at this.
Now, that's a punch.
454
00:20:35,067 --> 00:20:36,600
Dick, that was
The makeup woman.
455
00:20:36,602 --> 00:20:37,835
Well...
456
00:20:37,837 --> 00:20:40,103
She had it
Coming.
457
00:20:40,105 --> 00:20:42,740
Hey! Are you and don
Back together again?
458
00:20:42,742 --> 00:20:45,409
No. Why would you
Think that?
459
00:20:45,411 --> 00:20:47,411
Well, he's
Got his tongue
In your ear.
460
00:20:49,515 --> 00:20:52,816
Harry...Don and I have
Some issues to resolve,
461
00:20:52,818 --> 00:20:55,385
But we're gonna
Get together tonight
And talk 'em out.
462
00:20:55,387 --> 00:20:57,688
Uh-huh. Wear
Somethin' nice.
Shut up!
463
00:20:58,958 --> 00:21:01,358
I just don't
Understand it.
464
00:21:01,360 --> 00:21:04,361
All I did was assuage
My professional jealousy
465
00:21:04,363 --> 00:21:07,364
By attacking strudwick
On a deeply personal level,
466
00:21:07,366 --> 00:21:11,635
Using his daughter and my son
As unwitting pawns.
467
00:21:11,637 --> 00:21:15,706
Yet somehow
I come off looking
Like the bad guy.
468
00:21:15,708 --> 00:21:18,408
What are you talking
About? You jeopardized
My relationship
469
00:21:18,410 --> 00:21:20,077
For your own
Petty goals.
470
00:21:20,079 --> 00:21:23,146
Tommy, sometimes
You have to take one
For the team.
471
00:21:23,148 --> 00:21:26,216
Oh, you think
You're all that!
I am all that!
472
00:21:26,218 --> 00:21:28,452
Oh, you want
Some of this?
473
00:21:28,454 --> 00:21:31,521
Captioning made possible by
Carsey-werner productions
And the national
Broadcasting company
474
00:21:31,523 --> 00:21:33,591
Captioning performed by
The national captioning
Institute, inc.
475
00:21:33,593 --> 00:21:37,227
Public performance of captions
Prohibited without permission of
National captioning institute
476
00:21:38,230 --> 00:21:39,930
Does your dad hate me?
477
00:21:39,932 --> 00:21:41,365
No. He's just
Overprotective.
478
00:21:41,367 --> 00:21:43,400
Does your dad
Hate me?
479
00:21:43,402 --> 00:21:45,836
No. He loves you.
He thinks you're great.
480
00:21:45,838 --> 00:21:47,404
And so do I.
481
00:21:48,440 --> 00:21:50,341
Get your lips
Off that strudwick.
482
00:21:52,911 --> 00:21:54,311
That's--really,
That's just his way.
483
00:21:54,313 --> 00:21:56,247
That's how he is.
He really likes you.
Honestly.
484
00:21:56,249 --> 00:21:57,748
Are you sure?
485
00:21:57,750 --> 00:21:59,650
Yes! Absolutely.
He's just--you know.
He's, uh...
486
00:21:59,652 --> 00:22:00,851
Dick: he's what?!
487
00:22:00,853 --> 00:22:03,287
He's a big
Fat jackass!
38791
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