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1
00:00:04,004 --> 00:00:05,437
Here's your mail.
2
00:00:05,439 --> 00:00:06,438
Oh. Thank you.
3
00:00:06,440 --> 00:00:07,773
Oh, and, dr. Solomon,
4
00:00:07,775 --> 00:00:09,908
The andrew k. And
Eileen b. Fleischman
Foundation called.
5
00:00:09,910 --> 00:00:11,409
They received
Your grant application.
6
00:00:11,411 --> 00:00:12,811
Oh, excellent!
7
00:00:12,813 --> 00:00:18,483
Dick, the andrew k.
And eileen b. Fleischman
Foundation grant
8
00:00:18,485 --> 00:00:20,352
Is very prestigious.
9
00:00:20,354 --> 00:00:21,820
Do you really think
You have a chance?
10
00:00:21,822 --> 00:00:22,987
Oh, it's in the bag.
11
00:00:22,989 --> 00:00:25,924
Once I dazzle them with
My scientific prowess,
12
00:00:25,926 --> 00:00:28,560
They'll hand over that
$20,000 and then, pffft!
13
00:00:28,562 --> 00:00:30,462
I'm off
To disney world, baby!
14
00:00:31,532 --> 00:00:33,866
That money is for
Scientific research.
15
00:00:33,868 --> 00:00:35,100
Oh, you're right.
16
00:00:35,102 --> 00:00:38,070
I should probably hit epcot
While I'm down there.
17
00:00:38,072 --> 00:00:40,572
"Dear friend,
This is a chain letter.
18
00:00:40,574 --> 00:00:43,341
"You have 3 days
To send copies of this
To 10 of your friends,
19
00:00:43,343 --> 00:00:44,709
"But do not
Throw it away,
20
00:00:44,711 --> 00:00:46,345
"Or bad luck
Will befall you.
21
00:00:46,347 --> 00:00:48,113
Sincerely--"
Mary, what is this?
22
00:00:48,115 --> 00:00:49,347
I got one, too.
23
00:00:49,349 --> 00:00:51,783
Bunch of crap.
Just throw it out.
24
00:00:51,785 --> 00:00:54,085
Whoa!
You are crazy.
25
00:00:54,087 --> 00:00:55,987
My aunt janelle threw
A chain letter out once.
26
00:00:55,989 --> 00:00:59,991
The same day,
She crushed her hand
In a juicer.
27
00:00:59,993 --> 00:01:01,092
I don't understand.
28
00:01:01,094 --> 00:01:03,328
What kind of power
Could this letter
Have?
29
00:01:03,330 --> 00:01:05,797
The power
To waste your time.
30
00:01:05,799 --> 00:01:07,699
Why risk it,
Dr. Solomon?
31
00:01:07,701 --> 00:01:08,834
Just send it
Out.
32
00:01:08,836 --> 00:01:12,070
Every culture has
Its own superstition.
33
00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:13,672
I have studied 'em all.
34
00:01:13,674 --> 00:01:15,507
And the one thing
They all have in common--
35
00:01:15,509 --> 00:01:19,478
They're all a little bit
Cuckoo...Cuckoo...Cuckoo.
36
00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:21,346
Mary: cuckoo! Cuckoo!
37
00:01:21,348 --> 00:01:23,849
Well, nina, I hope that
Your aunt now realizes
38
00:01:23,851 --> 00:01:26,584
That the plastic plunger
Included with the juicer
39
00:01:26,586 --> 00:01:27,586
Is there for a reason.
40
00:01:27,588 --> 00:01:29,455
[crash]
41
00:01:29,457 --> 00:01:30,689
Mary: ow!
42
00:01:32,526 --> 00:01:34,860
Pull the plug!
Pull the plug!
43
00:01:34,862 --> 00:01:36,695
Oh, mary,
Are you all right?
44
00:01:36,697 --> 00:01:39,264
I told you not to throw
That chain letter out!
45
00:01:39,266 --> 00:01:40,198
Oh, don't be ridiculous.
46
00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:42,801
It was just a coincidence.
Ow! Ooh!
47
00:01:42,803 --> 00:01:45,704
Ah! Ohh! Unnhh!
48
00:02:17,671 --> 00:02:23,575
Captioning made possible by
Carsey-werner productions
And the national
Broadcasting company
49
00:02:25,078 --> 00:02:28,180
Hey, guys. Well,
I finally figured out
50
00:02:28,182 --> 00:02:31,082
Why dubcek
Gave me such a deal
On the garage apartment.
51
00:02:31,084 --> 00:02:35,987
Look at all this junk
I found in my toilet tank.
52
00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:38,557
Oh, no, no. I think
That junk's supposed
To be in there.
53
00:02:38,559 --> 00:02:40,725
It's like
Your toilet's brain.
54
00:02:42,329 --> 00:02:44,595
Or heart.
55
00:02:44,597 --> 00:02:45,763
Whoopsie.
56
00:02:45,765 --> 00:02:47,765
Well, I guess
We better go down
57
00:02:47,767 --> 00:02:49,901
To elberfeld's hardware store
On main street.
58
00:02:49,903 --> 00:02:51,570
Hey, you know, they give out
Free peppermints.
59
00:02:51,572 --> 00:02:52,670
Whoo!
60
00:02:52,672 --> 00:02:53,938
Not anymore.
61
00:02:53,940 --> 00:02:56,040
Ever since that new
Hardware stop superstore
62
00:02:56,042 --> 00:02:57,476
Opened out by
The interstate,
63
00:02:57,478 --> 00:02:58,577
They went
Out of business.
64
00:02:58,579 --> 00:03:01,646
Old man elberfeld died
A lonely, broken man.
65
00:03:01,648 --> 00:03:03,715
[gasps]
66
00:03:03,717 --> 00:03:06,851
There's a new
Hardware stop
By the interstate?
67
00:03:06,853 --> 00:03:07,919
Awesome!
68
00:03:07,921 --> 00:03:09,021
Let's go!
69
00:03:09,023 --> 00:03:11,323
Family meeting,
Family meeting!
70
00:03:11,325 --> 00:03:15,327
Ok, can any of you
Come up with
A reasonable scenario
71
00:03:15,329 --> 00:03:16,828
In which throwing out
A piece of mail
72
00:03:16,830 --> 00:03:21,466
Would result in
Having your ribs broken
By a floor waxer?
73
00:03:21,468 --> 00:03:22,567
Absolutely.
74
00:03:22,569 --> 00:03:24,035
The guy who was
Waxing the floor
75
00:03:24,037 --> 00:03:25,370
Thought you were
Throwing out
His paycheck.
76
00:03:25,372 --> 00:03:28,606
No. The guy with the waxer
Knew nothing about it.
77
00:03:28,608 --> 00:03:30,775
Well, why were
You throwing out
His paycheck?
78
00:03:30,777 --> 00:03:32,410
No. There was
No paycheck.
79
00:03:32,412 --> 00:03:33,645
No paycheck?
80
00:03:33,647 --> 00:03:37,282
Well, no wonder
The waxer dude
Went psycho on you.
81
00:03:37,284 --> 00:03:39,117
No! No, no!
82
00:03:39,119 --> 00:03:41,686
It's called
A chain letter.
83
00:03:41,688 --> 00:03:44,889
It's a random,
Meaningless
Piece of mail,
84
00:03:44,891 --> 00:03:48,560
But nina seems to think
That throwing it away
Can cause bad luck.
85
00:03:48,562 --> 00:03:50,128
Oh, please.
That's stupid.
86
00:03:50,130 --> 00:03:51,730
There's like
A billion-to-one
Chance
87
00:03:51,732 --> 00:03:53,531
That those 2 things
Are at all related.
88
00:03:53,533 --> 00:03:55,133
Thank you.
89
00:03:55,135 --> 00:03:57,602
Yeah, just like there's
A billion-to-one chance
90
00:03:57,604 --> 00:03:59,570
That aliens from
A distant galaxy
91
00:03:59,572 --> 00:04:04,276
Would actually visit...
This crappy little planet.
92
00:04:04,278 --> 00:04:05,110
That's true.
93
00:04:05,112 --> 00:04:06,511
Ohh.
94
00:04:08,014 --> 00:04:10,114
Hello, hello.
95
00:04:10,116 --> 00:04:11,883
Donny boy!
96
00:04:11,885 --> 00:04:14,719
I just came by to pick up
Tommy for the hockey game.
97
00:04:14,721 --> 00:04:16,121
Hockey game?
98
00:04:16,123 --> 00:04:17,622
Yeah. Remember those
Season tickets
99
00:04:17,624 --> 00:04:19,124
For the rutherford
Ice hogs
100
00:04:19,126 --> 00:04:21,926
That you begged me to order
Back when we were dating?
101
00:04:25,866 --> 00:04:26,865
No.
102
00:04:28,034 --> 00:04:29,701
Well, they came.
103
00:04:29,703 --> 00:04:32,470
Yep, 63 home games.
104
00:04:34,141 --> 00:04:36,574
So I just figured I'd treat
Tommy and his lady
105
00:04:36,576 --> 00:04:38,010
To an evening of hockey.
106
00:04:38,012 --> 00:04:39,978
Yeah. It gives me
A chance to show alissa
107
00:04:39,980 --> 00:04:41,579
How varied
My interests are.
108
00:04:41,581 --> 00:04:43,314
'cause every guy loves
A good hockey game.
109
00:04:43,316 --> 00:04:44,683
Still trying to make up
110
00:04:44,685 --> 00:04:46,984
For the museum
Of miniatures, huh?
111
00:04:46,986 --> 00:04:48,220
Desperately.
112
00:04:53,994 --> 00:04:56,928
So, alissa, you know
That big car
That sweeps the ice?
113
00:04:56,930 --> 00:05:00,031
That's called
The ice car.
114
00:05:00,033 --> 00:05:02,167
Isn't that a zamboni?
115
00:05:02,169 --> 00:05:06,871
Yes. Yes, but zamboni
Translated from italian
116
00:05:06,873 --> 00:05:10,242
Means car of the ice
Or ice car.
117
00:05:10,244 --> 00:05:11,810
Soda! Who needs
A soda?!
118
00:05:11,812 --> 00:05:13,244
I'll be
Right back.
119
00:05:13,246 --> 00:05:15,180
I don't know anything
About hockey.
120
00:05:15,182 --> 00:05:17,215
I'm a pathetic excuse
For a man.
121
00:05:17,217 --> 00:05:18,249
Ahh, don't worry.
122
00:05:18,251 --> 00:05:19,751
When the puck drops,
123
00:05:19,753 --> 00:05:21,519
Sticks are gonna
Meet flesh,
124
00:05:21,521 --> 00:05:24,388
Teeth are gonna fly,
And blood will stain
The ice.
125
00:05:24,390 --> 00:05:26,925
There will be
So much testosterone
126
00:05:26,927 --> 00:05:28,159
Wafting up
To these seats,
127
00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:30,661
She'll definitely
Mistake some of it
For yours.
128
00:05:30,663 --> 00:05:31,762
That's cool.
129
00:05:31,764 --> 00:05:34,699
Thank you.
Oh.
130
00:05:35,769 --> 00:05:36,768
[puck drops]
131
00:05:36,770 --> 00:05:39,438
Pass it! Get a body
On that guy!
132
00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:41,372
Stenstrom! Stenstrom!
133
00:05:41,374 --> 00:05:42,273
What's
A stenstrom?
134
00:05:42,275 --> 00:05:43,709
Uh, number 23.
135
00:05:43,711 --> 00:05:45,043
Olf stenstrom.
136
00:05:45,045 --> 00:05:49,513
161 stitches,
8 missing teeth,
And 2 broken noses.
137
00:05:49,515 --> 00:05:51,949
The pretty boy
Of hockey.
138
00:05:51,951 --> 00:05:55,620
Shoot, you magnificent
Bastard! Shoot it!
139
00:05:58,692 --> 00:06:00,525
Is there anything
I can help you with,
Miss?
140
00:06:00,527 --> 00:06:03,427
Yeah. I think I need
A new one of these.
141
00:06:03,429 --> 00:06:04,462
Let me take a look.
142
00:06:04,464 --> 00:06:08,299
Uh, you might need
A new flex post.
143
00:06:08,301 --> 00:06:10,334
But your
Slide float's fine.
144
00:06:10,336 --> 00:06:11,402
Oh, here's
Your problem.
145
00:06:11,404 --> 00:06:13,405
Your center barrel
Is purging.
146
00:06:13,407 --> 00:06:17,141
Whoa. You're like
A plumbing expert.
147
00:06:17,143 --> 00:06:18,843
Well, I've been here
A while.
148
00:06:18,845 --> 00:06:20,578
I bet you could
Fix anything, huh?
149
00:06:20,580 --> 00:06:21,646
Pretty much.
150
00:06:21,648 --> 00:06:22,647
Is that
All you need?
151
00:06:22,649 --> 00:06:23,648
Mm-hmm, yeah.
152
00:06:23,650 --> 00:06:24,649
Ok.
153
00:06:24,651 --> 00:06:25,883
No, uh...
154
00:06:25,885 --> 00:06:30,355
Wha-wha-wha-what
Do you know about,
Um, um, shelves?
155
00:06:30,357 --> 00:06:32,023
Mounted brackets
Or built-ins?
156
00:06:32,025 --> 00:06:33,558
Brackets.
157
00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:35,360
Ok. Why don't you and I
Take a little walk
158
00:06:35,362 --> 00:06:37,863
Down to aisle 15,
Then we'll hook past
Plumbing,
159
00:06:37,865 --> 00:06:39,297
And you'll be all set.
160
00:06:42,269 --> 00:06:43,502
Ok.
161
00:06:44,938 --> 00:06:48,740
Hey, pal. Could I get
3 copies of this key?
162
00:06:53,147 --> 00:06:55,580
You want me
To make keys for you?
163
00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:58,683
3. I need 3 copies.
164
00:07:02,155 --> 00:07:03,421
Ok.
165
00:07:06,526 --> 00:07:08,026
[engine humming]
166
00:07:19,039 --> 00:07:22,907
It is not just for myself,
But for all scientists
167
00:07:22,909 --> 00:07:28,447
That I accept the andrew k.
And eileen b. Fleischman
Foundation grant.
168
00:07:28,449 --> 00:07:30,949
For I am but a humble player--
Ahem, ahem, ahem--
169
00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:33,885
A humble player
170
00:07:33,887 --> 00:07:38,122
In the amazing drama
That is science.
171
00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:41,559
Hi, dick.
172
00:07:41,561 --> 00:07:44,462
Mary, what happened
To your arm?
173
00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:45,730
Oh, it's nothing.
174
00:07:45,732 --> 00:07:47,966
After they wrapped my ribs,
175
00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:49,500
The nurse walked me
To my car
176
00:07:49,502 --> 00:07:51,335
And slammed my shoulder
Into the door.
177
00:07:51,337 --> 00:07:54,105
I guess accidents
Will happen, huh?
178
00:07:54,107 --> 00:07:55,106
Yeah.
179
00:07:55,108 --> 00:07:58,076
She then took me back
To the hospital,
180
00:07:58,078 --> 00:08:00,211
And they forced it back
Into its socket,
181
00:08:00,213 --> 00:08:01,780
Gave me a shot
Of cortisone.
182
00:08:01,782 --> 00:08:04,816
Oh, well, I hope that
Made it feel better.
183
00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:07,885
Well, no. The cortisone
Was mismarked.
184
00:08:07,887 --> 00:08:09,754
It was minoxidil.
185
00:08:09,756 --> 00:08:12,156
But they tell me
The excess hair
186
00:08:12,158 --> 00:08:14,125
Will fall out
By beach weather.
187
00:08:16,296 --> 00:08:19,364
Oh, don't tell me
You still have
That chain letter.
188
00:08:19,366 --> 00:08:20,865
Well, it just so happens
189
00:08:20,867 --> 00:08:23,067
That I wrote
A very important
Phone number on it.
190
00:08:23,069 --> 00:08:24,202
I don't see any number.
191
00:08:24,204 --> 00:08:25,603
Well, I wrote it
Very small.
192
00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:29,507
Are we still on
For the game tonight?
193
00:08:29,509 --> 00:08:30,875
Sure, if you're up to it.
194
00:08:30,877 --> 00:08:32,109
Oh, I'm fine.
195
00:08:42,656 --> 00:08:45,356
Excuse me. How do you
Tell the difference
196
00:08:45,358 --> 00:08:47,725
Between a 1/2 inch dowel
And a 3/8 dowel?
197
00:08:47,727 --> 00:08:51,062
You know, I've been
Getting this a lot
Lately.
198
00:08:51,064 --> 00:08:52,930
There's a standard
Rule of thumb.
199
00:08:52,932 --> 00:08:58,336
Ok, now, the 3/8 dowel
Fits perfectly in my ear.
200
00:08:58,338 --> 00:09:02,540
Whereas the 1/2 inch dowel
Does not.
201
00:09:03,677 --> 00:09:04,809
Ok, thanks.
202
00:09:04,811 --> 00:09:06,010
All right.
203
00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:12,216
All right, everybody,
Clear your desks.
204
00:09:12,218 --> 00:09:15,352
All you will need
Is your examination
205
00:09:15,354 --> 00:09:16,353
And a number 2 pencil.
206
00:09:16,355 --> 00:09:18,790
You will have exactly
One hour--
207
00:09:18,792 --> 00:09:20,825
Leon, clear your desk.
208
00:09:20,827 --> 00:09:24,328
Dr. Solomon, that's
My lucky rabbit's foot.
209
00:09:24,330 --> 00:09:26,263
See, I really wanna
Do well on this test.
210
00:09:26,265 --> 00:09:29,366
And a severed foot
Of a lagomorphic mammal
211
00:09:29,368 --> 00:09:31,836
Increases your chances
Of getting a good grade?
212
00:09:31,838 --> 00:09:33,705
That's what
I'm hoping for, yes.
213
00:09:33,707 --> 00:09:37,274
What about studying?
That works for most people.
214
00:09:37,276 --> 00:09:39,844
Not me. That's why
I got this.
215
00:09:39,846 --> 00:09:42,147
Just put it away.
216
00:09:42,149 --> 00:09:43,781
Well, what about bug?
217
00:09:43,783 --> 00:09:46,117
He gets to wear his lucky
Pendleton sweatshirt.
218
00:09:46,119 --> 00:09:48,386
I'm not wearing this
For the test, jerk.
219
00:09:48,388 --> 00:09:51,089
Pendleton has got
A basketball game today,
220
00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:53,424
And the team always wins
When I wear this.
221
00:09:53,426 --> 00:09:55,393
Dr. Solomon,
What about our exam--
222
00:09:55,395 --> 00:09:56,928
Oh, shut up, caryn.
223
00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:59,898
Now, bug, about your shirt--
224
00:09:59,900 --> 00:10:01,733
Does it work
Just for home games?
225
00:10:01,735 --> 00:10:04,168
How many miles before
It loses its power?
226
00:10:04,170 --> 00:10:07,238
It's not like that.
Ok, you're gonna jinx it now.
227
00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:08,606
You're gonna jinx it.
228
00:10:16,850 --> 00:10:20,285
Stenstrom! Stenstrom!
229
00:10:20,287 --> 00:10:21,686
Did ya see that?
230
00:10:21,688 --> 00:10:23,488
Now that
Is forechecking.
231
00:10:23,490 --> 00:10:25,923
Mm-hmm. And I'm guessing
That nobody forechecks
232
00:10:25,925 --> 00:10:27,358
Quite like stenstrom.
233
00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:29,093
Yeah, nobody.
234
00:10:29,095 --> 00:10:30,628
Sorry we're late.
235
00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:34,732
My carburetor
Caught on fire.
236
00:10:34,734 --> 00:10:37,268
It was a tad strange.
237
00:10:37,270 --> 00:10:39,938
The car was turned off
At the time.
238
00:10:39,940 --> 00:10:42,707
Wow, mary. Looks like
You've had a string
Of bad luck.
239
00:10:42,709 --> 00:10:44,708
She did throw out
A chain letter.
240
00:10:44,710 --> 00:10:46,244
Ooh, that's bad news.
241
00:10:46,246 --> 00:10:48,379
Elbowing!
That's elbowing!
242
00:10:48,381 --> 00:10:50,248
Put him in the box,
You blind idiot!
243
00:10:50,250 --> 00:10:54,285
Would someone tell
That annoying girl
To keep it down?
244
00:10:54,287 --> 00:10:56,087
She's tommy's
New girlfriend.
245
00:10:56,089 --> 00:10:57,021
She's cute.
246
00:10:57,023 --> 00:10:58,689
Shoot it! Shoot it!
247
00:10:58,691 --> 00:10:59,690
Mary, look out!
248
00:10:59,692 --> 00:11:00,925
Ohh!
249
00:11:00,927 --> 00:11:02,193
I caught a puck!
250
00:11:02,195 --> 00:11:03,594
I caught a puck!
251
00:11:03,596 --> 00:11:05,930
That is so lucky.
And I thought
You had bad luck.
252
00:11:05,932 --> 00:11:06,931
Oh, ho!
253
00:11:06,933 --> 00:11:08,732
You see, silly?
254
00:11:08,734 --> 00:11:12,270
Oh, and I was
So worried about
This stupid letter.
255
00:11:12,272 --> 00:11:15,039
Look at this, mary.
I'm tearing it up.
256
00:11:15,041 --> 00:11:16,840
So much
For this one.
257
00:11:16,842 --> 00:11:18,342
Good riddance.
258
00:11:18,344 --> 00:11:19,877
I mean, what are
The chances
259
00:11:19,879 --> 00:11:22,313
Of mary albright
Catching a hockey puck?
260
00:11:22,315 --> 00:11:23,881
[thud]
261
00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:30,321
Oh, no. It's the curse
Of the chain letter.
262
00:11:30,323 --> 00:11:33,191
This is the worst thing
That's ever happened to me.
263
00:11:33,193 --> 00:11:38,797
I'm doomed!
264
00:11:40,567 --> 00:11:41,999
Hey, justin.
265
00:11:42,001 --> 00:11:44,101
Justin,
Look what's broken.
266
00:11:44,103 --> 00:11:46,337
Oh, how did
That happen?
267
00:11:46,339 --> 00:11:47,639
I do not know.
268
00:11:47,641 --> 00:11:50,175
It must've just
Disconnected itself
Or something.
269
00:11:50,177 --> 00:11:52,009
Looks like
Your gas line's
270
00:11:52,011 --> 00:11:53,945
Been cut with
A hacksaw.
271
00:11:53,947 --> 00:11:55,346
Weird.
272
00:11:56,883 --> 00:11:58,817
You can fix it, though,
Right, justin?
273
00:11:58,819 --> 00:12:01,252
Got to open it up,
Look at the cores.
274
00:12:01,254 --> 00:12:04,122
Think you may need
To rethread the t-valve?
275
00:12:04,124 --> 00:12:05,556
Could be.
276
00:12:05,558 --> 00:12:08,559
I just hope I don't
Have to recalibrate
The flow bushings.
277
00:12:08,561 --> 00:12:11,662
Yeah, well,
There's a lot of silt
Collecting in the drip pan.
278
00:12:11,664 --> 00:12:14,065
Ooh. What are your btus?
279
00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:15,600
500.
280
00:12:16,903 --> 00:12:18,669
I'll be right back.
281
00:12:18,671 --> 00:12:20,404
I'll be waiting.
282
00:12:24,344 --> 00:12:26,644
You know that song
Macho man?
283
00:12:26,646 --> 00:12:27,811
Mm-hmm.
284
00:12:27,813 --> 00:12:29,413
He's who they're
Singing about.
285
00:12:29,415 --> 00:12:32,816
So I guess
Rugged good looks
And broad shoulders
286
00:12:32,818 --> 00:12:33,985
Really do it
For you women.
287
00:12:33,987 --> 00:12:36,120
Oh, please.
Lots of guys have that.
288
00:12:36,122 --> 00:12:39,056
But justin--
Justin can fix things.
289
00:12:39,058 --> 00:12:40,558
He can build things.
290
00:12:40,560 --> 00:12:43,394
He's got a belt
Full of tools.
291
00:12:43,396 --> 00:12:46,664
A tool belt,
If you will.
292
00:12:46,666 --> 00:12:49,333
How am I
Supposed to compete
With guys like that?
293
00:12:49,335 --> 00:12:52,536
Look at me. My arms
Are stick-thin,
294
00:12:52,538 --> 00:12:54,739
I shave, like,
Once a month,
295
00:12:54,741 --> 00:12:57,541
My ass is flat.
296
00:12:57,543 --> 00:12:59,877
Sweetie, listen to me.
297
00:12:59,879 --> 00:13:02,713
Don't be so hard
On yourself, ok?
298
00:13:02,715 --> 00:13:04,949
I mean, I'm sure
There are a lot of girls
299
00:13:04,951 --> 00:13:09,253
Who are more than willing
To settle for a tiny,
Little wussy like you.
300
00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:14,191
That helped
Very little.
301
00:13:19,498 --> 00:13:22,233
This is a disaster.
What am I gonna do?
302
00:13:22,235 --> 00:13:25,036
I can feel the andrew k.
And eileen b. Fleischman
Foundation grant
303
00:13:25,038 --> 00:13:26,403
Slipping away!
304
00:13:26,405 --> 00:13:28,973
I told you to send out
That chain letter.
305
00:13:28,975 --> 00:13:30,808
Nina, some of my students
Have lucky charms.
306
00:13:30,810 --> 00:13:31,909
Do those work?
307
00:13:31,911 --> 00:13:33,377
Ooh, it couldn't hurt.
308
00:13:33,379 --> 00:13:35,113
Try to remember
An item you had
309
00:13:35,115 --> 00:13:36,347
When something really great
Happened to you.
310
00:13:36,349 --> 00:13:38,149
Like the day
I met mary?
311
00:13:38,151 --> 00:13:40,818
Yes, what did you
Have in your pocket
The day you met her?
312
00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:42,887
Lint. Lint!
313
00:13:42,889 --> 00:13:43,955
My lucky lint!
314
00:13:43,957 --> 00:13:44,955
Your lucky lint?
315
00:13:44,957 --> 00:13:46,190
Oh, damn!
316
00:13:46,192 --> 00:13:48,492
I let harry play with it,
And he lost it.
317
00:13:48,494 --> 00:13:51,295
Oh, listen to you two.
318
00:13:51,297 --> 00:13:53,765
Haven't you ever heard
Of the machacan tribe?
319
00:13:53,767 --> 00:13:57,969
Well, of course,
But tell us
For nina's sake.
320
00:14:00,540 --> 00:14:03,041
Machacan men believed
321
00:14:03,043 --> 00:14:07,812
That by wearing this sheath
Over their...
322
00:14:07,814 --> 00:14:11,149
That by wearing
This sheath,
323
00:14:11,151 --> 00:14:13,451
They would ward off
All misfortune.
324
00:14:13,453 --> 00:14:15,285
Great. Can I wear it?
325
00:14:15,287 --> 00:14:17,187
It didn't work, dick.
326
00:14:17,189 --> 00:14:19,456
They were wiped out
By a volcano.
327
00:14:19,458 --> 00:14:22,727
Everything
We know about them
328
00:14:22,729 --> 00:14:26,764
We have learned from their
Perfectly preserved--
329
00:14:26,766 --> 00:14:28,666
From this sheath.
330
00:14:28,668 --> 00:14:30,634
Are there any
Volcanoes in ohio?
331
00:14:30,636 --> 00:14:31,735
No.
332
00:14:31,737 --> 00:14:33,771
Great.
Then I'll wear it.
333
00:14:35,808 --> 00:14:37,375
Give that to me.
334
00:14:39,946 --> 00:14:41,479
Oh, fine.
335
00:14:41,481 --> 00:14:44,482
Smells like hell,
Anyway.
336
00:14:47,520 --> 00:14:48,652
Look at her.
337
00:14:48,654 --> 00:14:50,888
She's in love
With stenstrom.
338
00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:52,556
Aw, she's just
Getting into
The game.
339
00:14:52,558 --> 00:14:54,358
I love you, stenstrom!
340
00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:57,027
She's about a goal away
From taking her shirt off.
341
00:14:57,029 --> 00:14:58,862
Oh, don't sweat it,
Tommy.
342
00:14:58,864 --> 00:15:00,364
It's just
A harmless crush.
343
00:15:00,366 --> 00:15:03,034
Kinda like the one
I used to have
On joe namath.
344
00:15:04,704 --> 00:15:07,571
It's not something
I'm proud of.
345
00:15:07,573 --> 00:15:09,874
But it's not
A harmless crush, don.
346
00:15:09,876 --> 00:15:11,242
She's crazy about him.
347
00:15:11,244 --> 00:15:13,277
He's just more of a man
Than I am.
348
00:15:13,279 --> 00:15:16,847
Guys like us are
Always gonna lose out
To guys like that.
349
00:15:16,849 --> 00:15:19,049
At least I can give 'em
Speeding tickets.
350
00:15:19,051 --> 00:15:20,918
Yeah, but what
Can I do?
351
00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:24,522
That's something you're
Gonna have to figure out
For yourself, tommy.
352
00:15:24,524 --> 00:15:28,726
That's part of
What becoming a man
Is all about.
353
00:15:28,728 --> 00:15:31,662
You're just saying that
'cause you don't know
How to help me.
354
00:15:31,664 --> 00:15:34,298
I'm dry.
355
00:15:37,337 --> 00:15:39,504
Hello, hello, hello.
356
00:15:39,506 --> 00:15:42,440
What are you doing?
357
00:15:42,442 --> 00:15:44,908
Nothing. I'm in
A run of bad luck,
358
00:15:44,910 --> 00:15:46,511
And I'm not setting foot
Outside this house
359
00:15:46,513 --> 00:15:47,778
Without a lucky charm.
360
00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:49,180
Yeah.
Oh, really?
361
00:15:49,182 --> 00:15:52,483
It's impossible to find
Rabbit's feet in this town.
362
00:15:52,485 --> 00:15:55,186
Oh, sure, you can get
A whole rabbit,
363
00:15:55,188 --> 00:15:58,589
But don't tell the pet store
What you're gonna do with it.
364
00:16:01,160 --> 00:16:03,227
Well, this came for you.
365
00:16:03,229 --> 00:16:06,864
The mailman accidentally
Left it in my bedroom.
366
00:16:06,866 --> 00:16:11,368
It's from the andrew k. And
Eileen b. Fleischman foundation.
367
00:16:11,370 --> 00:16:13,237
I've been chosen
As a finalist
368
00:16:13,239 --> 00:16:15,772
For the andrew k.
And eileen b. Fleischman
Foundation grant!
369
00:16:15,774 --> 00:16:17,040
This must be
Your lucky day.
370
00:16:17,042 --> 00:16:18,876
And you!
What?
371
00:16:18,878 --> 00:16:20,877
You're my lucky charm!
372
00:16:20,879 --> 00:16:23,180
Oh, mrs. Dubcek.
373
00:16:23,182 --> 00:16:25,416
There you go.
374
00:16:25,418 --> 00:16:27,985
And thank you for shopping
At the hardware stop,
375
00:16:27,987 --> 00:16:31,888
Your one-stop spot
To stop to shop spot.
376
00:16:31,890 --> 00:16:34,492
Hi. Can I help you?
377
00:16:34,494 --> 00:16:36,694
I'm looking for justin.
378
00:16:36,696 --> 00:16:38,395
He's not with another
Customer, is he?
379
00:16:38,397 --> 00:16:41,332
Nope. Today's his day off.
Maybe I can help you?
380
00:16:41,334 --> 00:16:44,735
No. Heh. No, no, no.
381
00:16:44,737 --> 00:16:48,038
Justin and I
Were gonna talk about
Customizing cabinets.
382
00:16:48,040 --> 00:16:51,075
My specialty.
I was a carpenter
For 10 years.
383
00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:55,346
You were?
384
00:16:55,348 --> 00:16:56,847
Bonded and licensed.
385
00:16:56,849 --> 00:16:58,348
Bonded.
386
00:16:59,919 --> 00:17:03,688
No. No, I can't.
It wouldn't be right.
387
00:17:03,690 --> 00:17:05,389
I'll just wait
For justin, ok?
388
00:17:05,391 --> 00:17:06,524
Ok.
389
00:17:06,526 --> 00:17:08,025
I mean, it's not like
I don't want to.
390
00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:10,294
It's just I just
Don't know where
It'll go, you know?
391
00:17:10,296 --> 00:17:12,162
That's fine.
392
00:17:13,232 --> 00:17:17,701
Oh, screw justin.
Let's do it.
393
00:17:17,703 --> 00:17:21,172
Uh, excuse me. Where's
The lawn-and-garden
Department.
394
00:17:21,174 --> 00:17:24,108
You know what?
I have no idea.
395
00:17:24,110 --> 00:17:26,544
Let's go find out, huh?
396
00:17:26,546 --> 00:17:29,413
Wait a second.
Don't you work here?
397
00:17:29,415 --> 00:17:31,915
No. Why would you
Think that?
398
00:17:31,917 --> 00:17:34,952
You got the
Orange shirt. I--
399
00:17:37,423 --> 00:17:41,325
Hmm. What's going on
With that guy?
400
00:17:47,866 --> 00:17:49,500
Take 5.
401
00:17:52,671 --> 00:17:54,071
You're fired.
402
00:17:56,008 --> 00:17:58,942
Hey. Hey, stenstrom.
403
00:17:58,944 --> 00:17:59,943
Hmm?
404
00:17:59,945 --> 00:18:02,880
Ok, look, I gotta
Talk to you.
405
00:18:02,882 --> 00:18:04,514
I'm beggin' you, man.
406
00:18:04,516 --> 00:18:07,117
Everybody knows
That you're big
And you're strong
407
00:18:07,119 --> 00:18:10,154
And so you could have
Any woman in this place,
408
00:18:10,156 --> 00:18:12,756
But I'm just asking you,
Man to man,
409
00:18:12,758 --> 00:18:14,691
Could you leave me
My girlfriend?
410
00:18:14,693 --> 00:18:17,628
Just that one.
That's all I ask.
Just that one.
411
00:18:17,630 --> 00:18:21,399
[swedish accent]
Ice hogs number one.
412
00:18:21,401 --> 00:18:24,368
No. She really means
A lot to me, man.
413
00:18:24,370 --> 00:18:27,638
Stay in school.
Say no to drug.
414
00:18:28,841 --> 00:18:32,543
Ok, I'm just gonna
Take a wild guess,
415
00:18:32,545 --> 00:18:34,445
Say you don't speak
A word of english.
416
00:18:34,447 --> 00:18:37,381
Say no to drug.
417
00:18:37,383 --> 00:18:41,151
Tommy, what are
You doing?
418
00:18:41,153 --> 00:18:44,088
Ok, this is the last time
I'm gonna tell you here.
419
00:18:44,090 --> 00:18:45,956
Stay away from my girl.
420
00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:48,126
'cause otherwise,
You're gonna have
To answer to me.
421
00:18:48,128 --> 00:18:50,361
You don't want a piece
Of this. capice?
422
00:18:50,363 --> 00:18:51,762
Ok.
423
00:18:55,668 --> 00:18:57,568
What was that
All about?
424
00:18:57,570 --> 00:18:59,003
He was talking trash
About you.
425
00:18:59,005 --> 00:19:02,340
I didn't wanna get violent,
But if I needed to,
426
00:19:02,342 --> 00:19:05,009
I would've
Forechecked his butt
Into the zamboni.
427
00:19:05,011 --> 00:19:06,710
Ow!
Such an idiot.
428
00:19:06,712 --> 00:19:09,213
Ok, let's ease up there.
429
00:19:12,251 --> 00:19:13,985
Next.
430
00:19:15,254 --> 00:19:16,787
Dr. Solomon. Welcome.
431
00:19:16,789 --> 00:19:18,755
Thank you for having me.
432
00:19:22,428 --> 00:19:23,494
Please come in.
433
00:19:23,496 --> 00:19:25,129
Uh, yes, uh...
434
00:19:25,131 --> 00:19:26,964
Yes, of course.
435
00:19:33,473 --> 00:19:34,838
Are you ok?
436
00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:35,872
I'm fine.
437
00:19:35,874 --> 00:19:37,140
We've read your paper,
438
00:19:37,142 --> 00:19:39,443
And we're quite excited
To hear your presentation.
439
00:19:39,445 --> 00:19:40,878
Uh, thank you.
440
00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:44,949
And I'm sure that
A generous grant
From, uh...
441
00:19:44,951 --> 00:19:46,851
[clears throat]
442
00:19:46,853 --> 00:19:50,187
Ok, I'm coming.
443
00:19:53,493 --> 00:19:54,825
Who is this?
444
00:19:54,827 --> 00:19:57,328
This is my
Esteemed colleague
445
00:19:57,330 --> 00:19:59,129
Dr. Mamie dubcek.
446
00:19:59,131 --> 00:20:01,531
Lucky, lucky, lucky,
Lucky, lucky, lucky--
447
00:20:01,533 --> 00:20:02,633
Dr. Solomon.
448
00:20:02,635 --> 00:20:04,068
Just one moment.
449
00:20:04,070 --> 00:20:07,171
Franks, beans,
Collard greens.
450
00:20:07,173 --> 00:20:08,372
Yes?
451
00:20:08,374 --> 00:20:11,542
On page 13
Of your proposal,
452
00:20:11,544 --> 00:20:13,878
You suggest
The behavior of super--
453
00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:16,246
I'm sorry. I can't answer
Any questions on that.
454
00:20:16,248 --> 00:20:17,448
You can't?
455
00:20:17,450 --> 00:20:20,317
I can't answer any questions
Regarding page 13
456
00:20:20,319 --> 00:20:23,654
Or what I like to refer to
As "The devil's page."
457
00:20:23,656 --> 00:20:28,159
So, uh, if you are all
Open to said page,
458
00:20:28,161 --> 00:20:29,660
I will just collect them
459
00:20:29,662 --> 00:20:32,830
And rid the room
Of their demonic mojo.
460
00:20:32,832 --> 00:20:35,099
Andrew k. And eileen b.
Fleischman foundation grant.
461
00:20:35,101 --> 00:20:38,002
Andrew k. And eileen b.
Fleischman foundation grant.
462
00:20:38,004 --> 00:20:39,836
Dr. Solomon...
463
00:20:39,838 --> 00:20:40,871
Yes?
464
00:20:40,873 --> 00:20:44,141
Do you really think
This is any way
465
00:20:44,143 --> 00:20:46,043
To impress a panel
Of scientists?
466
00:20:50,383 --> 00:20:53,517
All signs point to yes.
467
00:20:56,489 --> 00:20:58,989
Ahh, well, I didn't
Get the grant.
468
00:20:58,991 --> 00:21:00,758
Mmm. They didn't
Like your ideas?
469
00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:02,059
I never got to them.
470
00:21:02,061 --> 00:21:04,895
I was too busy yanking
On dubcek's ears.
471
00:21:04,897 --> 00:21:06,430
It's so weird.
472
00:21:06,432 --> 00:21:08,432
Humans make up
All these superstitions
473
00:21:08,434 --> 00:21:10,834
To try to control
Random events,
474
00:21:10,836 --> 00:21:11,835
But before they know it,
475
00:21:11,837 --> 00:21:13,537
The superstitions
Are controlling them.
476
00:21:13,539 --> 00:21:15,706
And to think
I fell for it.
477
00:21:15,708 --> 00:21:17,708
Yeah. Well, I feel
Pretty stupid, too.
478
00:21:17,710 --> 00:21:20,044
I thought alissa
Was in love
With stenstrom
479
00:21:20,046 --> 00:21:22,546
Just 'cause
He's big and rugged
And likes to fight.
480
00:21:22,548 --> 00:21:25,449
Ooh, he sounds good.
481
00:21:25,451 --> 00:21:27,351
Hey, you guys.
482
00:21:27,353 --> 00:21:30,888
I'm going down to the mall
To buy some sneakers.
483
00:21:30,890 --> 00:21:32,356
Captioning made possible by
Carsey-werner productions
And the national
Broadcasting company
484
00:21:32,358 --> 00:21:34,324
Captioning performed by
The national captioning
Institute, inc.
485
00:21:34,326 --> 00:21:36,193
Public performance of captions
Prohibited without permission of
National captioning institute
486
00:21:38,197 --> 00:21:41,698
Well, the mystery
Is solved.
487
00:21:41,700 --> 00:21:43,667
It wasn't bad luck.
488
00:21:43,669 --> 00:21:48,172
I have an inner-ear infection
That threw off my balance.
489
00:21:48,174 --> 00:21:49,674
Oh, that's good to know.
490
00:21:49,676 --> 00:21:51,042
The car place called.
491
00:21:51,044 --> 00:21:52,276
Your car will be
Ready tomorrow.
492
00:21:52,278 --> 00:21:53,778
Oh. What happened
To your car?
493
00:21:53,780 --> 00:21:57,982
Some kid hit the windshield
With a rock.
494
00:21:57,984 --> 00:21:59,683
It was a meteorite.
495
00:21:59,685 --> 00:22:01,585
They don't know that!
496
00:22:01,587 --> 00:22:03,888
Nasa's still studying it.
497
00:22:03,890 --> 00:22:07,224
Bad mojo. Bad mojo.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
37496
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